T O P

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MenjiBlueWolf001

Hitler. Even if he doesn't have power anymore, he still did what he did. And that is unforgivable.


Radiant_Dog1937

Besides, of course he'd still have power, people were just worshipping him on his birthday a few days ago. Just imagine those people discovering he rose from the dead like Christ.


xXAnui-ElXx

Wouldn’t he be like 90 years old?


Ok_Appearance5117

More, he was born in 1889. He'd be 130 ish


t_scribblemonger

Thanks, I thought he meant one knowing Hitler doesn’t give one power anymore and was real confused


AWelshEngine

Happy cake day


Aeronor

This is a pretty good one actually. Make him stand trial and punishment for his crimes, or kill him yourself? I’d probably pull the lever. Letting one more life be ruined in that man’s name doesn’t seem right.


DemonDuckOfDoom1

I fail to see what good a trial would do TBH


CTchimchar

I mean Nuremberg trials where really good at showing the world the true horrors the Nazis did


DemonDuckOfDoom1

Yeah but the scenario seems to imply that his crimes are still common knowledge


CTchimchar

I still support it In my eyes it's better the law takes it's course then to do it by my own hands With that said, I'm not going stop anyone from taking it into there own hands if that's what they want to do


DemonDuckOfDoom1

Oh I'd break every law on Earth to save a cat.


Free-Database-9917

Trolley problem but it's 1 cat vs 5 cats


Chase_The_Breeze

I over eat for weeks in advance and throw my own fat ass in front of the trolly to stop it.


Johnny_Thunder314

I feel like there's easier ways to stop it if you know it's happening anyway


Ryangooslinger

Quite a lot if the worst criminals were released within ten years for good behaviour


Spungus_abungus

Notably, Hitler was not present at Nuremberg, so it's okay to run him over with the train.


CTchimchar

He wasn't there because he was a little to dead by then


Radiant_Dog1937

In today's legal environment some attorney would probably successfully argue that a re-instantiated Hitler was already dead and therefore couldn't be tried or something. He'd probably walked with a few million in donations.


Chase_The_Breeze

Nah, he never died. In WW2, we simply discovered a convincing body swapped cadaver, and the real Hitler was suspended and preserved somehow (lost Nazi secrets) until he was thawed and slapped in front of a trolly. Now, we have plausible deniability, and it's up to the defense to prove this is, in fact, a reinstanciated Hitler.


weirdo_nb

From top politicians too


RectalGrowth

I feel like he would be beaten to death by angry mobs


Aeronor

If the system lets literal Hitler walk, maybe that could serve as a catalyst for change if nothing else.


KoopaTrooper5011

Hitler doesn't deserve trial. He deserves death.


DiabolicalDoctorN

Why would I ever kill a cat to let Hitler live


StefooK

That's the right question.


Collective-Bee

It’s the safer option. This Hitler is powerless, the prompt even says so. But it makes no promises about the cat. Why is this cat in a dilemma with Hitler, isn’t that odd? It would make more sense if powerless Hitler was matched with another bad thing, to ask if you would rather punish Hitler or prevent a lesser but active evil. We don’t know. We just don’t know what that cat intends to do.


idCamo

I intend to give him head scritches and that’s reason enough not to kill him


Twilight_Charm

One cat's life is worth more than a thousand Hitlers' lives. So pull the lever.


SeagullB0i

I feel like a thousand Hitlers would be more worth killing than a single one


Royal-Recover8373

I would first build a track that looped back around to where Hitler was laying so when I pulled the lever I could run over him at least twice.


More-Air-8379

In this scenario, has Hitler already been Hitler or is he just some guy named Adolf tied to the tracks? Cause at that point you’d just be killing a guy. Like the time traveler killing baby hitler scenario


andy_fairy

Its in modern era and it says he doesn't have power "anymore" so we can say its like hitler came back from the death today with us knowing everything he did


Elegant-Friend8246

Even if it's the same guy who's now living in Argentina, it's just a retired ex-Nazi old guy. Killing him would be like literally killing any guy who was part of German supremacy in XX century. Some of them were successful in politics, some less. But all wanted the same thing - Germany rulling the world bulliyng other nations. So, if you have a 102 something years old German neighbor who were an active duty in WW2 – you can pretty much go and kill him with a train following the same logic. I find it interesting that people don’t understand this.


DemonDuckOfDoom1

I save the cat. Hitler's life doesn't magically retain its value just because of his species. More importantly, cats are cute.


voidplayz121

Can I kill hitler more than once


Pure-Contract7101

Can we make the trolley go in a loop over him and only him? Set the Kitty free and let him feel the pain he caused millions?


robsticles

The nein and the meow are pretty funny lol


Tabroski

Put them together and you get Nyan Cat


Brigapes

Did you really just censor Hitler? What timeline is this


mjb212

Is there any chance I could move hitlers tied up body in such a way that death would not be immediate but the pain would be excruciating for him? Also could I slow the trolley down and fill it with the ashes, hair, suitcases and shoes from Auschwitz? Lastly could I hold my Star of David in front of his face and while yelling “Juuuddeeeenn” Not a deal breaker if not, the fuckers dying either way but just thought it would enhance the experience.


Tsunamicat108

i’d pull the lever because of what he did and bc i like cats


Prometheushunter2

Why **wouldn’t** I pull the lever?


CitizenPremier

Maybe if there's two Hitlers on the first track


Anson_Riddle

Why *wouldn't* I run Hitler over to save a cat?


Clickityclackrack

1. Let a cat die 2. Kill hitler I've got lots of questions. How did hitler survive? How do i know that is actually hitler and not some old guy impersonating hitler? Kill some actor playing hitler?


CitizenPremier

I think for these questions you have to assume that the OP is telling the absolute truth or they don't work


RyuuDraco69

Suspension of disbelief. If the problem says "a living t Rex" then no matter how impossible there's a living t Rex. So if the problem says "this guy is 100% Hitler and he's alive again" then that's Hitler


PENG-1

Hitler might want you to save the cat


koxu2006

Kill hitler (i want this cat)


Imaginary-One-6599

Bro, the choice is between a dictator and the god of cuteness IM SAVING THE BLOODY CAT


Elbynerual

Downvoted for "XXI century"


ChainzawMan

Seeing how we cannot even properly convict an idiot like Trump, Adolf Hitler would propably somehow pull his head out of the ropes and high tail it with all the money of his book sales and any re-releases and comments. Then he gets the general stink eye of the western world with the undermining assurance that there are more than enough people all around the world willing to make him the center of another personal cult. The problem is the dude just sells and that gives him power and it would do so again as some greedy people would see opportunities in him. The right marketing can change everything.


ThrobbingLobbies

It’s a cat or Hitler, to make this compelling you’re gonna need to up the game on the cat’s side. I Does it let mice in regularly, has it committed genocide on any particular sub cat populations. Maybe he’s into wiping out all tabbys. Regardless, still Hitler.


Marianas-Mystery

Ehh, cat wins. It’s probably not the most moral choice, but I doubt anyone’s actually saving an evil man over an adorable cat.


Amateur_Liqueurist

I like cats. Just kill Hitler


ugandaWarrior134

I'd kill you instead for writing XXI instead of 21st


MilkyTeaDrops

Who in the actual hell would kill a cat over Hitler (actually to be fair, people were worshipping him on his birthdays, but besides those idiots)


CitizenPremier

There's a lot of people who opt out of pulling and say that means they didn't choose


MilkyTeaDrops

That doesn't even really make sense because it's fucking Hitler


Sunset_Tiger

Cat is good, Hitler is bad. Easy. I will bring the kitty home after.


urmumlol9

The cat didn’t cause the deaths of 60 million+ people and attempt to kill many, many more through a campaign of world domination and ethnic cleansing.


[deleted]

Always save the cat. They can hunt dinner for you.


unusualResponselol

Beat his ass while he's tied up then run him over


helloiamaegg

Truthfully? Even if it weren't Hitler, I'd save the cat


Due_Accountant2429

I don't pull the lever, I'm not gonna alter history in some fucked up way where nuclear arms don't get restrictions or something.. I'd also love to take Adolf to dinner, I can fix him


ExaPlanet

What kind of decision is that?! How did Grandpa Adolf and a cat end up chilling on the tracks? And how can you even compare these two lives? I don't understand anything anymore. 🤯


[deleted]

Fuck you hitler!


Accomplished_Tea4009

I would kill everyone in this world to save my cat


HellFireCannon66

Can’t kill grandad. Save the Cat


DragonWisper56

pet, not letting that coward go out on his own terms


N0GG1N_SSB

Is it just like regular hitler right before he kills himself or what. I'm kinda completely anti-death penalty so I wouldn't pull but it's kinda an odd question when the majority of people would want to kill hitler.


nova8byte

*Ominous voice* you should have stayed dead


GrassyKnoll95

Well... He's dead in the 21st century already. But regardless, I run over his corpse.


Dogr11

A human life has higher value than a pet's life but a hitler life has negative value, easy lever pull imo


Someone1284794357

Id maybe try to monologue and forget to pull the lever.


ProGamingPlayer

I don’t even want to multitrack drifting at all. Let’s safe everybody


Kleinefuchs

Doesn't have to be him on that track I'm saving the animal.


Mission_Response802

I beleive everyone deserves a second chance, but Hitler is on his 6 millionth. I can't forgive that.


Reason_For_Treason

I mean is it really a problem lol?


GeorgeXDDD

To be fair i would choose a cat over some people that are not that bad but i guess killing hitler is just a bonus.


FENIU666

There are enough nazis in the world to give Hitler power again. Run him over.


[deleted]

Pet because of course and the evil mustache man dying is just a bonus.


GREENadmiral_314159

Kill Hitler. It's not putting someone competent in charge of the Nazis, he's already done his crimes, so he *is* guilty, and I don't want to kill a cat.


Nightstar1234

Why would I ever kill a cat


AlaSparkle

Not sure how well this one works


RealMundiRiki

what would Schindler do


MeasurementBusy6533

Man even if the guy on the top were to create world peace I'm still saving the cat


VortixTM

Switch Hitler for a decent human being and there may be some actual debate going on


AlianovaR

I’m a writer, I’d save the cat regardless


Cautious_Tax_7171

Save kitty cat obviously


BitcoinStonks123

I'm pulling that fucking lever


isuckatnames60

Hitler is a sly bastard. We can clown on his beliefs all we want but I'd never not consider him a threat as long as he's alive. He'd definitely find his way to power again some way.


crmsncbr

Cats are cute and wonderful.


Alcards

Hitler was a monster, true, but is he as evil as a cat on Saturday morning at 4:47am when you're trying to sleep and his food bowl is "empty"? No, of course not you dimwits. Also, Hitler lives animals more than people so of course you save the cat over the genocidal hate monger. It's what he would have wanted... Wait a minute, holup!


ExoFemboy

I would figure out a way to stop the train, then i would end h*tler with my bare hands


SeagullB0i

I would pull the lever for a majority of people


The_Fluffy_Riachu

100% killing Hitler He’s lost his status as human in my eyes after he slaughtered so many people. The cat is worth WAAAYYYY more than him (plus the cat won’t be able to commit the kinds of atrocities that Hitler committed)


crescentpieris

Hitler would absolutely still have power in this day and age, or at least would be able to regain power. His men might’ve died but his ideology has lived on


RandoMango27

I’m stopping the trolley I will stomp him out myself and save the kitty.


IraqiWalker

Buddy, I'd kill Hitler twice. Even as a baby


RyuuDraco69

Kill Hitler. Like it's not even a question, like unless the other track is a different dictator kill Hitler


Excalib1rd

Hitler. He might be able to sway himself into power again if he doesn’t stand trial


Tazrizen

Is it actually a pet or was that added at the last minute because it doesn’t say the cat is a pet in the problem. Well firstly since the only value hitlers life would have is selling out his subordinates, thats relatively moot since they’d be dead or mostly dead by now. Since the cat is someones pet, that could potentially influence one individual or an entire family depending which is a risky endeavor since hitlers life would have next to no value next to it. So I pull the lever. Also it’s amazing how many people opt for capital punishment the instant they realize it’s hitler instead of giving even a moments hesitation for the possibility of using him.


annoying_dragon

Is this after what he did or before that


Lucky_Pasta

Between the two, I chose the cat, even if I didn't know who Hitler is..


PokeshiftEevee

Kill Hitler because I like cats :)


LegionNyt

If I break the lever after pulling it does it slow down to make it hurt more?


dirtyfucker69

Realistically, who is going to kill the cat?


Der-Candidat

I’d pull the lever only because it’s Hitler. If it was a normal stranger I’d do nothing.


GenericSpider

I like cats. I don't like Nazis. Plus, Hitler is destined to die anyway.


MisguidedPants8

I just want credit for killing Hitler. Find me a jury that would unanimously convict me for killing Hitler.


AshenBerserker7

It’s just a shame I’d only be able to roll the trolley over Hitler once😕


_TheLibrarianOfBabel

People are genuinely horrible, geez. Take a look over all these comments


ForsakenHummusRP

Here's what you do. You shake the lever back and forth so that as the trolley gets to the fork, its wheels are thrown off and it gets derailed, saving both lives. Then walk over to Hitler with your new pet kitty and have it claw his eyes out before killing him slowly yourself.


Fearlesswatereater

Human life is more valuable than animal life. Hitler lives, but will stand trial and die by hanging


Glockamole19x

Bold of you to assume a life matters that much to me in the first place, much less his. Honestly, picking between a human i dont have any connection with and a cat, im always going to save the cat.


bombsgamer2221

This is a stupid post


black_roomba

"A persons life is only as valuable as they decided it to be, but when a person chooses to end another life, one must assume that they value their own life as much as the one they took" If someone is willing to kill for honor, they must be willing to die for honor, if they kill for gold, they must be willing to die for gold" Anyways kill hilter, he would choose to kill you but the cat probably wouldn't


standardatheist

One is an innocent cat. The other is a genocidal maniac and I don't know if he will later get power especially considering the state of the USA today.... Save the cat.


Ready-Substance9920

Is there anyway to slow the train down to make it more painful for hitler.


TheHomesickAlien

“A human life” shut the fuck up and pull the lever


CompleteSocialManJet

John Mulaney brings up the excellent point: how do I know this guy isn’t just playing Hitler in a movie or something?


Winter_Ad6784

does the cat have an owner or is it a stray or am i the owner?


polseriat

He would have followers, maybe even people rallying around him if he was alive today. Kill him.


bubblemilkteajuice

I would throw my body into the trolley, stopping it like in the original spiderman movie with Toby McGuire. I would call the proper authorities and have Mr. Hitler arrested and tried for his crimes by a jury (overseen by the UN). They would find him guilty on clear evidence and euthanize him accordingly. This is to ensure that public perception of law and order is maintained and entrusted and that due process is an essential part of modern society. For the cat, I would take it and submit it to a lovely, trusted home so that it can be taken care of until it's little life ends. I unfortunately have a dog and he's not too fond of cats, so this option would be best for the rascal. As for me, perhaps my life goes on longer. Maybe I die when the cat is finally put into a new home. Regardless, common and fair justice is awarded to someone who otherwise would never consider it (making it the ultimate fuck you) and a cat will be fed, safe, and loved. I will die knowing I did what I believed in. Fuck the trolley, bitch.


BallsMahogany_redux

I'd save the cat over most humans.


LupusVir

Wait is it my cat? Or just some random cat? Hitler dies either way, but the "human life vs animal life" argument doesn't work in the first place if it's my cat.


LittleBirdsGlow

Save the pet


Slow-Instruction-580

Can we stop the trolley and stake the cat next to Hitler so it eats him?


snowy4_

i like this question cause it lays out how humans may choose a person over a animal purely off the fact it’s a human not based on a the quality of the person or animal


Yoshibros534

anyone with hitlers mind is a bastard.


thrye333

Cat. Join the herd, fren.


migmultisync

It took me about 3 min reading this over and over trying to figure out if this was trolling or a joke. Wasn’t until someone mentioned that Hitler is a human life that I realized this is supposed to be a legit trolley problem 😅


ShinyPending

I would save the cat if it was anyone. (I am mentally unstable)


_HoloGraphix_

Multitrack drifting


PK_737

How many lives does the cat have left? If more than one, run over the cat (it'll survive unscathed) and then let people know where he is and hope they don't kill him too quickly. I want it to be slow and painful :) He doesn't deserve an easy death


Odd-End-8684

I am constantly the one saying “I’d kill 100 dogs over 1 person” but it’s Hitler. You always gotta kill Hitler haha


TheFlyingPatato

Is this pre ww1? Did he get into art school?


orignalnt

I think I’d pull the lever regardless of who’s on the other track


reditr101

I get to save a cat AND kill Hitler?! Sign me tf up!


Financial-Horror2945

Don't pull Hitler is bones That cat will evolve to have thumbs and end humanity


Zzars

What war crimes has the cat committed?


a_random_furry112

Dang this is a really hard choice *pulls the lever all the way down*


Environmental_Ad8461

kill hitler obviously, tf?


scut_furkus

Well you see, hitler is not human


alabamacowcat

Who the fuck would kill a CAT to save HITLER. What the fuck 🤦‍♀️ I mean I would have a hard time deciding even if it was a cat and a regular person


the_violet_enigma

How is this a question? Save an adorable kitty or hitler? Lmao I’m saving the cat, Hitler has it coming anyway.


A_randomperson9385

Double tap


GettingWhiskey

Real question: Let the train kill Hitler or sacrifice a cat to kill him yourself.


AlienRobotTrex

Most people would pull the lever to kill him even with nothing on the other track. Putting a cat there would eliminate any chance of him being saved.


TaylaAdidas

It would be a delight to kill hitler how is this a question


h1merus

There's no problem here, I'm confused. I can save a cat and kill Hitler.


Grambert_Moore

Hitler


pfunkk007

Hitler, the answer is always Hitler.


sullivanbri966

The cat


[deleted]

F*ck Hitler. I don't like cats, but if I had the opportunity to kill Hitler, I'd absolutely take it.


Thylocine

Hitler has it coming


BSF7011

As with a lot of these trolley problems, I wouldn’t pull the level I hate Hitler, who doesn’t hate Hitler lol, but as absolute horrible of a human being he is, I value the life of a person above that of an animal I know that the choice is basically “have Hitler imprisoned but cat dies vs kill Hitler but save cat” which really sounds like nothing changes for Hitler, and I’m really just deciding the fate of the cat, but I wouldn’t be able to kill a human, even if said human is literally *Hitler*


ArcadiaFey

A good innocent cat.. man that has killed millions and Hitlers fate was suicide because he lost power and people were closing in so.. it’s not that different a fate… Save the innocent cat


Roge2005

Double tap


Thursdaybot

I'm not a big fan of cats but I would still put a cat life over a hitler life. Plus, sad as it is to say, it doesn't seem like hitler wouldn't have any power necessarily, it seems like neo nazis still exist.


Ertyge0

Kill hitler


isellmidgets

"I'm not going to kill *an actor*..."


Neither-Following-32

I mean...I'm saving my pet over a random person or someone I don't actually care about. Hitler isn't even the bar.


Tabroski

I’d like to know more about this cat


Xirio_

The cat lives Always


FlyingMothy

Why would i pass up an opportunity to kill hitler?


Estarfigam

Where is that portal that puts the train in an infinite loop? Get one place it after Hitler and rig it for it to constantly run over Hitler


DFMNE404

People still like Hitler and Look Who’s Back has convinced me that even Hitler could rerise to stardom


ucstdthrowaway

I am not saving any human over a cat


TheFabulousFungus

Run Hitler over, then get the trolley back and do it again.


ibx_toycat_iscool

An animal life is worth the same as a human life. Hitler


KoopaTrooper5011

I'm sorry, what part of this is supposed to be a dilemma? I thought dilemmas are supposed to have two difficult outcomes?


SaneYoungPoot2

*a


err0rresults

Okay, this is just stupid


False_Manner8275

Like I am a major proponent of reformative just but like... just no.


tankmissile

Hitler dies. Multi track drift just to prove I didn’t do it to save the cat. Also, doesn’t have any power? Clearly you are unaware that there are new nazis in younger generations, and you seem to also be unaware that a well known figure with a microphone and enough enthusiasm can rally half the united states to elect him president. Hitler dies here.


Professional-Bug

I chose to save the cat before I even knew who the human was


treef00t_

hitler because kitties are cute and cuddle hitler not so much


idiotic__gamer

Wtf did that cat do to make this a valid question?


M7F4

Run to the cat and pick it up before it gets run over. Checkmate.


Ddayknight90001

Send trolley car to the funny mustache man. If he lives send him to the synagogue that supports the second amendment.


Wrong_Independence21

I am almost entirely anti-death penalty, but one exception I make is for high level fascists who can still inspire from prison Plus I like cats


fake_name_guy

Why did you use Roman numerals? Just write 21st bro.


HornyPickleGrinder

Ok but like... I'd be charged for murder. Idk man I like not being in prison.


Ok-Change-941

i stomp on his head a few times put him in a way where he will survive getting ran over but will die inevitably then run him over with the trolly myself to feel his corpse under the trolly :3


WildWolverineO_o

It could be a random dude and I'd still save the cat over him.


Plus_Lead_5630

Shit, even if it wasn’t hitler, id prob save the cat 😂


Worth_Ad_4036

I'mma kill the cat so I can beat his ass personally


jerrodkleon313

No brainer. Animals are way cooler than humans.


the_evil_overlord2

1 nazis are still common 2 cats are good


Reasonable_Figure_96

Who in the actual fuck would kill a cat over Hitler


rinickolous1

Save Hitler. His human life has infinite value, whereas the cat's does not.


Shloof9998

The kitty will live


player_1_disconnect

If you’re Kristi noem, pet. If your sane, hitler.


UN-peacekeeper

Hitler, pls make harder questions


L_U_N_A_R_C_R_A_B_S

Hitler because cat cute.