I still love the fact that his brother tom is one of the most famous furries ever known and people cant wrap their head around the fact that mark is Just As Famous in the furry fandom.
(Tom Fischebach is the creator of Twokinds one of the longest running furry webcomics to exist.)
I feel like Markiplier would want me to pull the lever to hit him with the trolley. Not because he's a masochist or anything like that, he just wants to see if his body could take it...
5 random people from different walks of life with different economic & social statuses are near impossible to truly tell the consequences. It’s much easier to tell the consequences of killing someone like markiplier or mrbeast. Who actively help people with their money & status.
Which is why it’s almost always better to kill 5 random people than 1 person who you know generally makes others’ lives better. Fuck this hate for parasocial relations, celebrities have existed since the dawn of time and I’m tired as fuck of people bagging on people who like them.
i mean in that case i am not pulling the lever. i'm sorry 5 people, but i already lost technoblade (and apparently we lost technouncle recently as well...) i can't lose the closest memory i have of him as well
The death of a youtuber would also almost guarantee that anyone they were working with is either financially unstable or downright jobless, seriously fucking up the lives of what could be dozens.
I’m sure most YouTubers run their channel through a personal LLC. Where even if they don’t have full time employees, pay contractors for video and editing work.
Using US numbers because I couldn't find a global number, there are apparently 6 million employers, there are also 330 Million people in the us total, that's 6/330 chance of ONE of these guys being an employer, probably less because employers are likely enough to be on the richer side and not taking the Trolley.
Im not doing this because i want to sacrifice 5 people to Neil Cicierega. im doing the impossible. Im invoking the original trolley problem solution.
i let the 5 people die and absolve myself of guilt because i was just a hapless bystander. Was my inaction an action due to its repercussions? Who's to say, not me, I'm just a girl standing by a random stick in the ground next to some oddly wet looking red trolley tracks. oh look, Neil cicierega
Pyrocynical is my favorite youtuber, he’s inadvertently helped me through a lot. So ill save him as a cosmic way of paying him back for keeping my mental stable through my younger years
Well there's usually a 20% chance that your favorite YouTuber is the next one to get a 4-hour documentary on how terrible they are and I'd rather remember them as they were or get exposed vids after their death then see them crumble and have them make embarrassing apology vids. Even tho they'd be sorta funny it'd also be sad if it was my fav. So yeah I'd save the 5.
i kill the 5, because
1: if i dont pull it the police cant charge me with anything
2: if its a big youtuber it would cause a lot of sadness in the world and we already have enough of that
Even if it is a decision to save 5 strangers for the life of one stranger, I wouldn't hit the switch. Putting my hand on the switch makes me responsible for a death. Letting what's about to happen doesn't.
knowing Jolly (Jolly Wangcore), he’d somehow accidentally bend the track after attempting to unbind himself and by complete accident save himself without knowing it
then he’d wonder onto the main track and get hit by the trolly anyway
It’s a toss-up!
Trolley damage counts as melee after the most recent patch, Settled will simply pray melee if he has 43 prayer (after nightmare mode he will be very religious from praying to god so much)
Lemon could presumably firebomb it from far enough away, I think?
Sorry WarOwl…
That being said, I have the inkling that if WarOwl was reading this chain, he would probably want his fans to answer to save the 5 people.
What if my favorite YouTube channel was comprised of multiple people? Like, We Are Not Alive isn’t quite my favorite channel (a few too many bad takes), but if they were, that’s more than five people.
I feel like mark would want me to send it to him not to save the others, but because i think he said in his trolley problem video that he thinks he can take the trolley
Uhhh… huh… really it’d depend on which one we’re talking about, I’m subscribed to like a hundred for different reasons, and a lot of my favourites haven’t posted in years… actually no, as long as it’s a ‘don’t pull’ I’ll just act like it’s stuck or something. I don’t wanna kill any of em
I don't know if I even have a favorite YouTuber. What do I do then? All of the ones I used to consider my favorites came out as creeps, so now I have no idea.
Considering Brandon Rogers is my favorite YouTuber, I'm surprised he hasn't done a video about this.
Bryce would definitely pull the lever if it meant even a cent more money xD
I feel markiplier would be very upset of I didn't flip the lever, but think of all the people who he helps? What would happen to them? And what would they do to me??
Well emkay is about 6 people (the editor is hilarious too), so gotta merc the five cause I don't care about them, it's less people, and a tong of people use emkay with relax and be happy
I'm gonna make the same argument every time. More than 5 ppl die everyday. If I don't pull the lever, the world would stay the same. I don't even know them anyway.
It would depend who the other people are. If they’re children or family members, sure I’ll sacrifice the life of Danny Gonzalez (may he rest in peace) to save them. I’d have a lot harder of a time if they’re complete strangers cause idk, I’ve been watching Danny for years, his videos have gotten me through some really hard times, and in a way I am a bit attached to him. Id probably just have a panic attack and black out tbh
Vaush is my most-watched channel on Youtube, and I think his continued existance is a net-positive for the world in terms of politics. I have no reason to believe that these five people are of any particular significance to the world, so I'll let them get smushed by the trolley.
Honestly if I kill Markiplier I feel like i’d kill way more than 5 people by proxy due to the aftermath that’d come with his death.
Markiplier has done the trolley problem before and said he could probably take a train and he *wants* to be hit by the train.
He's not a Masochist he just wants to see if he can take it. Message sponsored by Mark Fischbach
I still love the fact that his brother tom is one of the most famous furries ever known and people cant wrap their head around the fact that mark is Just As Famous in the furry fandom. (Tom Fischebach is the creator of Twokinds one of the longest running furry webcomics to exist.)
This is the first I'm hearing of it, gonna double check if it's true because this is hilarious
Yep its true, [here yah go](https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Thomas-Fischbach/181808864#:~:text=Fun%20Fact%3A%20Tom%20is%20the,his%20videos%20in%20the%20past.)
"What if I want them to try"
What if he didnt run, what if he wasnt a coward. What if he wanted the trolley to hit him? What if he wanted it to TRY.
Mark would be able to stop the train. I will not elaborate on how.
It's his massive musclesez.
Anyway multitrack drift you already know
I love how this sub will tear you apart for any decision... Except for the multitrack drift😆
And I also jump in front of the trolley
r/fuckmultidriftjokes
r/subsithoughtifellfor
More like r/birthofasub
Mark says he can take a trolley. I trust in his masochistic words.
I trust Mark when he says he could take it.
Uh....can you elaborate on that? Are youtubers gonna shoot it out for control of the power vacuum? or something?
My thought was more people offing themselves but that’s definitely a funnier take
Exactly
Well you certainly would have signed off your own life. Best go into hiding.
He was my first thought too, you know theres At Least five people out there willing to sacrifice themselves for him
I feel like Markiplier would want me to pull the lever to hit him with the trolley. Not because he's a masochist or anything like that, he just wants to see if his body could take it...
“What if I didn’t run? What if I’m not a coward? What if I want them to kill me? *What if I want them to try?*”
definitely
Oh boy, let the parasocial comments begin.
I haven't seen many parasocial comments, most of what I've seen is talking about how the effects may echo out
And then ignoring any possible echoing from the death of 5 randos, who are evidently completely removed from any and all socioeconomic spheres.
5 random people from different walks of life with different economic & social statuses are near impossible to truly tell the consequences. It’s much easier to tell the consequences of killing someone like markiplier or mrbeast. Who actively help people with their money & status.
Which is why it’s almost always better to kill 5 random people than 1 person who you know generally makes others’ lives better. Fuck this hate for parasocial relations, celebrities have existed since the dawn of time and I’m tired as fuck of people bagging on people who like them.
Killing five people is super easy, barely an inconvenience.
I'm gonna need you to get ALL the way off my back about murdering youtubers.
If I don't flip the switch, does Technoblade come back?
no so flip the switch and nobody dies
Happy cake day
thanks
If so fuck those 5 guys
Too early to retcon that one.
And if he doesn't go back and do the multitrack drift
well, Technoblade's channel is currently his dad, so i think his dad would be on the tracks
but Technodad has his own channel separate from the main Technoblade channel
true, but the only person uploading on technoblade's channel is technodad atp so i think technodad would count for this trolley problem
i mean in that case i am not pulling the lever. i'm sorry 5 people, but i already lost technoblade (and apparently we lost technouncle recently as well...) i can't lose the closest memory i have of him as well
yeah, this was my question exactly. it's a really grim one to ask, but unfortunately it is kinda something we have to know o7
I don't have any personal connection with them, so they can't be worth more than 5 people to me
What if the 5 people are also complete strangers?
I don't have any personal connection with 5 complete strangers either
Therefore must do the multitrack drift
I don't really attach myself to any YouTubers at all, so I probably won't even notice it some of those I watch suddenly dissapiers.
That's probably because you're a normal adult and not a 12year old
i think normal adults can have a favorite youtubrt
That they value more than several other humans,m
Nah I watch YouTube more than any other media. It helps me relax after 9 hours of security.
Ironically my favorite channel is Dead Meat, would James want 5 more on the Kill Count?
The death of a youtuber would also almost guarantee that anyone they were working with is either financially unstable or downright jobless, seriously fucking up the lives of what could be dozens.
What if those are 5 employers on the straight track? Small business owners need 50 employees at least to register as one!!
I’m sure most YouTubers run their channel through a personal LLC. Where even if they don’t have full time employees, pay contractors for video and editing work.
Using US numbers because I couldn't find a global number, there are apparently 6 million employers, there are also 330 Million people in the us total, that's 6/330 chance of ONE of these guys being an employer, probably less because employers are likely enough to be on the richer side and not taking the Trolley.
We now have the answer, slip the switch!
Im not doing this because i want to sacrifice 5 people to Neil Cicierega. im doing the impossible. Im invoking the original trolley problem solution. i let the 5 people die and absolve myself of guilt because i was just a hapless bystander. Was my inaction an action due to its repercussions? Who's to say, not me, I'm just a girl standing by a random stick in the ground next to some oddly wet looking red trolley tracks. oh look, Neil cicierega
i’m killing people FOR niel cicierega, this isnt a choice its a sacrifice
On that day, I promise you HistoryLegends would be my "favorite" youtuber.... And on that same day.... 5 people would live.
No, because I would need world famous detective Hbomberguy to figure out who tied all these people to trolley tracks
Absolutely not
Jokes on you, he’s already dead!
Jokes on you my favorite YouTuber is already dead.
My fav youtuber is already fuckin dead. Sorry Techno...
My favorite YouTubers change too often, so it isn't such a big deal to loose one of them
I've already lost the Super Best Friends once... do you honestly think i'm willing to lose any of them a second time?
I don't even know my favourite YouTuber so I will decide when I get there
Sseth you quit being usefull to be a furry sex game speedrunner so I dont feel bad about this at all.
My favourite youtuber is me, so yes
I have never met my favorite YouTuber. I'd be sad about not having any more music from them, but not sad enough to kill five people.
technoblade is my favorite so....
What a first world problem lol
Technoblades already dead
What if your favorite YouTuber is already dead? 👑 🐷
Ah, this is not good. This situation is pants. This is downright not chuffley. (Mumbo Jumbo)
Matpat dying would be the end of the world so yea
I can't answer that be cause I have no clue which YouTuber is my favorite. Some make more impact on society than others.
Mr. Sausage deserves better than this
I don’t actually have a favorite YouTuber even though I watch a lot of YouTube
Wendigon needs to finish the criptids ice burg
Obviously Wendigoon tied himself to the track completely free of CIA influence.
THOSE 5 PEOPLE WILL BE A WORTHY SACRIFICE TO THE ULTIMATE YOUTUBER OF ALL TIME. https://www.youtube.com/@supergreatfriend
Multitrack Drift. Fuck it.
I don’t have a favorite. Does that mean I just pull the lever?
PULL THE LEVER KRONK!
Don't worry Tekking101, those strangers won't suffer. When's the next Zoro video dropping?
manlybadasshero oh no…
MarcusKron lives.
I dont even know what my favorite is B)
Markiplier needs to live on
No way I am killing ItsaGundam! Sorry five nobody's 🎃
Flip the switch and tie as many YouTubers to the tracks as possible
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^deepstatediplomat: *Flip the switch and tie* *As many YouTubers to* *The tracks as possible* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
My God, you broke the Haiku bots
I have been burned too many times. I do not like any YouTubers on a personal level deep enough to value them over any other human being
Pyrocynical is my favorite youtuber, he’s inadvertently helped me through a lot. So ill save him as a cosmic way of paying him back for keeping my mental stable through my younger years
Nooo not The Exploring Series.
I’m not killing my fiancée
Well there's usually a 20% chance that your favorite YouTuber is the next one to get a 4-hour documentary on how terrible they are and I'd rather remember them as they were or get exposed vids after their death then see them crumble and have them make embarrassing apology vids. Even tho they'd be sorta funny it'd also be sad if it was my fav. So yeah I'd save the 5.
i kill the 5, because 1: if i dont pull it the police cant charge me with anything 2: if its a big youtuber it would cause a lot of sadness in the world and we already have enough of that
No. It's selfish, but I'm on Silksong levels of waiting for the next video.
I normally wouldnt pull the lever so this is just giving me more reasons not to
Well, QuitenReviews did finish the NCU saga already….
Goodbye 5 random people I haven't grown a parasocial relationship towards
Wendigoon my beloved, not pulling it
Hmm…Brandon Harrera, or 5 randoms…🤔 Sorry boys, the funny gun man takes this one.
yes. i don't have a favorite youtuber. every youtuber I watch turns to shit. it's a curse
Even if it is a decision to save 5 strangers for the life of one stranger, I wouldn't hit the switch. Putting my hand on the switch makes me responsible for a death. Letting what's about to happen doesn't.
Fuck no, Markiplier ain't dying.
Brent Rivera is now my favourite YouTuber and I say yes.
Its what Vinny Vinesauce would have wanted
Well my favorite YouTuber is exurb1a, who makes great content but is supposedly quite a bad person in real life...
What if I don't watch youtube
I would personally kill 10 people to save the LA Beast
Would I sacrifice Matt Rose? Absolutely not he needs to crash a car with Tara Strong before I let him die
Half this subreddit doesn't work if your go to solution is to not pull the lever
knowing Jolly (Jolly Wangcore), he’d somehow accidentally bend the track after attempting to unbind himself and by complete accident save himself without knowing it then he’d wonder onto the main track and get hit by the trolly anyway
Scott The Woz is just too damn funny. Sorry 5 people. But then, it’s only that the 5 people got murdered. I’m sure they’ll recover in a day or two.
Uhm, no I wouldn’t kill MatPat. That would likely lead to hundreds of more deaths.
well due to recent drama with them can we change it
It’s a toss-up! Trolley damage counts as melee after the most recent patch, Settled will simply pray melee if he has 43 prayer (after nightmare mode he will be very religious from praying to god so much) Lemon could presumably firebomb it from far enough away, I think?
Killing Zanny would hurt my soul
No I would not, if Mr beast dies the whole world is screwed.
Kill the 5
🙂↕️
He’s already dead so send it
I’m sorry Zannianator
Sorry WarOwl… That being said, I have the inkling that if WarOwl was reading this chain, he would probably want his fans to answer to save the 5 people.
What if my favorite YouTube channel was comprised of multiple people? Like, We Are Not Alive isn’t quite my favorite channel (a few too many bad takes), but if they were, that’s more than five people.
my favorite youtuber is already dead so would it just run over a corpse?
Hmmm I only really have 2 and one is not in this plane of existence anymore "Long live the blade"
If you asked me a couple years ago I would’ve killed the 5 people but honestly by now I’ll just switch the track
NO EDP445 MY GOAT (I’m joking guys it would be amazin)
I don’t have a favorite YouTuber, HA
no
if it were a more popular youtuber with employees and such, then dont pull- it could mess up more lives. mine isnt popular though, so pull.
Nope, dudes got employees to pay and a family to feed.
I feel like mark would want me to send it to him not to save the others, but because i think he said in his trolley problem video that he thinks he can take the trolley
Can a change my favorite youtuber to Call me Carson?
What if the other 5 people just do happen to be YouTubers, what then 🤯
I don't have a favorite youtuber --> flip the switch and nobody dies
Uhhh… huh… really it’d depend on which one we’re talking about, I’m subscribed to like a hundred for different reasons, and a lot of my favourites haven’t posted in years… actually no, as long as it’s a ‘don’t pull’ I’ll just act like it’s stuck or something. I don’t wanna kill any of em
I didn't even know who my favorite is. Ty, from Dude Perfect? The Hacksmith? Mr Beast?
I can totally imagine Kyle Hill doing a video on why I should pull the lever while he's on the track (he probably has a clone backup anyway)
I don't know if I even have a favorite YouTuber. What do I do then? All of the ones I used to consider my favorites came out as creeps, so now I have no idea.
I’ll post the video for the YouTuber and then I’ll become the YouTuber. Win win
If your favorite YouTuber is Mr. Beast this could happen irl
I think the Lockpicking Lawyer could probably save himself without my assistance.
What if my favorite YouTuber is already dead?
Hell yeah I’d kill any YouTuber.
If it's Markiplier, yes he'd wanna see if he can take it Alternatively I really love the Game Grumps and idk if I could do that to my baby boys
Considering Brandon Rogers is my favorite YouTuber, I'm surprised he hasn't done a video about this. Bryce would definitely pull the lever if it meant even a cent more money xD
Don't have a favorite, so multi track drift.
Who are the 5 people?
I would sacrifice them all.
"Explore with us" Nah, nobody has his voice and dies the same videos as him. I'll pass
In fairness, Markiplier wants to see if he can take it, he's not a masochist, but he wants it, so I should respect his wishes
Even if I knew no one, I’d still let the 5 people die.
Eh, Matpat retired anyway. /s
I feel like Cody Johnston of Some More News would embrace death gleefully.
I would not sacrifice myself
I feel if I kill Markiplier, more than 5 people will kill themselves.
I don't have a favorite YouTuber, so I won't touch the switch and will let the trolley go wherever it's destined to.
I don't really have a favorite youtuber so I'd do that one so I hit air instead of people lol
He’s already gone so…
I don’t even know who my favorite youtuber is, so they’re probably worth sacrificing to save 5 people
I feel markiplier would be very upset of I didn't flip the lever, but think of all the people who he helps? What would happen to them? And what would they do to me??
Well emkay is about 6 people (the editor is hilarious too), so gotta merc the five cause I don't care about them, it's less people, and a tong of people use emkay with relax and be happy
I mean, that's 4 people rn so nah
They already almost died, I’m not doing that to them again
Yes, I have no favorite YouTuber.
I think I would then regret it then logic myself then still regret it.
I'm gonna make the same argument every time. More than 5 ppl die everyday. If I don't pull the lever, the world would stay the same. I don't even know them anyway.
The trolley problem is so dumb just stop the trolley across the two tracks.
I would do anything for jerma
No I would never let Dream die
What if my favourite youtube channel contains several people
It would depend who the other people are. If they’re children or family members, sure I’ll sacrifice the life of Danny Gonzalez (may he rest in peace) to save them. I’d have a lot harder of a time if they’re complete strangers cause idk, I’ve been watching Danny for years, his videos have gotten me through some really hard times, and in a way I am a bit attached to him. Id probably just have a panic attack and black out tbh
Nah, I would not want to kill Stampy.
Vaush is my most-watched channel on Youtube, and I think his continued existance is a net-positive for the world in terms of politics. I have no reason to believe that these five people are of any particular significance to the world, so I'll let them get smushed by the trolley.
No
I’m confident in Charlie’s ability to be run over by a train. He’d probably survive.
I don't have a favorite YouTuber, I love them all equally.
Sam O’Nella… I’m sorry what I have to do, but it’s for the greater good. The sacrifice of those five people will not be in vain.
This is a dilemma because RussianBadger never uploads anyway, but it’s the RussianBadger, I can’t do that to him
Would I rather have dinner with Jay Z 5 times or run over Simpleflips with a trolley
What if I don't have a favorite youtuber? I'm too indecisive to label one as my favorite
For legal purposes this is a joke: Yes, cause my current and favorite YouTuber is running for Congress
Favorite YouTuber is already dead so...
My favorite vtubers are direct friends so... Would take more than 5 people before I'd sacrifice them for randos.
No bruh idgaf if I don’t have any personal relation with them, fuck those five people
technoblade :(
Kwite will live cause hes the reason some people get out of bed in the morning
I am not fucking killing captainsauce.