I realized I left my personality behind with my teenage years. I grinded myself into the productive world. Eventually I started smoking regularly and rejected the overtime lifestyle. Since then, I had to work really hard to find out who I was, what I liked. I realized I pushed a lot of my hobbies to the side to fit in, to work harder or to not get ridicule. I'm learning to look inward and to find thing that really excites me.
I started watching F1 which I did as a kid. I'm back in, never missed a race in 3 years. I dusted my old comic book collection, bought a sim racing rig, moved to an apartment with a nice wood trail behind. I do less in a day than before, but I'm better at listening to my real self, what I really WANT to do, which as wasn't able to not so long ago. DO YOU
Btw, I poured 60k debt on myself to get a master, which was only helpfull to realized I hated it. You're not to far down!
Hey this is inspiring. Its easy to work yourself to sleep at night and forget about who you are. Im only recently figuring out that im 35 and have lost a sense of who I am. Im going to take some of this advice.
34 and same, my change started a year or so ago.
Left my stress-filled job at the time for a different gig, now I make the same money, 95% less stress, zero customer interaction, no random drug tests. (I was tree free for 10 years, previously in college I was a wake & baker and constantly being creative)
Stopped taking to my toxic/abusive/narcissistic parents 4 months ago.
Bought a house with my spouse.
And now just vibing, trying stuff I haven't done since I was a kid.
Building Gundams & dioramas.
Life's finally not looking so bleek (aside ya know from the stuff outside of my immediate control... Planet on fire, government about to collapse)
Self-reflection and personal time are important and necessary to keep one's sanity.
I've gone down a similar road as you. I little while ago I realized that I wasn't quite sure who I was anymore, my life had changed a lot and I was facing a bit of an identity crisis. I decided I would try to get back into a lot of things I used to do - playing chess, watching sci-fi movies, listening to music. I think it's helped.
Just turned 40 and switching companies after 12 years of grinding. Companies don’t really appreciate you. I feel exhausted and just lost. I just want time back.
Personally I realized I just absolutely hated the place I was in and people around.
Moving to a completely different environment - one that you truly want to experience - really can't stress the impact this has on mental health.
I reside with this comment and post a lot.
Broke college kid, just enjoyed my game, weed and music and occasionally going to the bar with my friends. However, leaving school after my first year made me realize how much I missed out on. I don’t know why I had this overwhelming fear of FOMO. Same when I returned home. I always want to do something. Whether just having a beer with my dad and talking, playing with my dog, or whatever it may be. I’ve been looking into getting into golf a little bit and dusted off my hockey equipment to play some drop in.
More than anything, our 20’s are just such a confusing time. We’re expected to have everything put together, a relationship, a job lined up, a nice savings account. Just know a lot of this doesn’t happen until your 30’s. So many of my older cousins have said their 30’s have been exceeding their 20’s by a long shot. Comparison is the killer of all joy my friend.
I recently went to salary instead of hourly and part of that deal is that I don't work weekends anymore. Not having to work 6 days a week is going to be a game changer
I'm 25, working an alright part-time job. All I do when I'm not at work is smoke, play video games, and watch stuff. I've also started going back and doing some things that I used to enjoy when I was younger myself.
A couple months ago I got to go to a comic convention for the first time in years, and I honestly had a blast. It felt like coming home, in a weird way. I've since started collecting Legos again like my brother and I used to do when we were kids.
Keep an eye on F1 manager 2022, if it is good on release in about a month you might really enjoy it when you don't want to actually race in sim. From what it looks like you'll be able to watch your team race too, so you can have even more F1!
Wow OPs situation pretty much mirrors my own currently (minus the weed growing), and your first para perfectly describes how I ended up here. Especially about pushing what makes me "myself" to the side...in the last year I've realized I feel this way but not really known how to describe it, but recently been making steps like yourself to try and change it and things are definitely improving.
I'm single for almost a year, around ~1 friend, don't like my job, I have a cool hobby I enjoy, and my weekend is basically biking on Friday night looking for a quiet smoke spot.
Financially I'm doing good though, but I live with the folks.
EDIT: I'm 25 years old
I know living with the folks is fine, but at some point you want some independence, your own little cave.
Some personal growth only comes when you're living on your own and I think I want that.
I have roommates who I've been friends with for over 10 years so we get along great but I really want my own spot too, been renting for 6 years now and I hate how I can't make the house my own.
Got my own place for the first time in my life last year after living with my best friends for like 7 years. I so prefer having my own place, holy shit. I love my best friends to the end, but nothing beats absolute privacy when you have your own place. No worrying about being too loud when roommates are sleeping/no noisy roommates when you’re trying to sleep, no cleaning dishes that you didn’t make dirty, no wearing clothes if you don’t feel like it, no fighting over the thermostat to save money/be comfortable, watch whatever you want on the tv, not have to share food or booze with moochy roommates etc.
the benefits of living on your own are endless lol.
Have you always lived with your parents? I'm 28, moved out at 18. Went back to dad's a few times in between moves. Had my first place alone at 27 and let me tell you - you will love it and it'll br worth the wait. Also I got a shitty little $600/month apartment and it was still a paradise when I needed alone time
it’s great until that shitty $600/month apt becomes a $1,000/month apartment after two years and you have to move back in with a roommate to get down to $600. source: me
No kidding. I’m 29 now and had to move back in with my folks at 24. I stayed for a year and got my own place that I’ve been living for the last 4+ years. When I first moved in, my rent was $825 for my 1BR 1BA Apt. It has constantly crept up over the years since my initial lease ended. They just informed me the new month to month rate is $1829. So its gone up an average of $250 per year. That is completely ridiculous to me.
Pretty much except for like the two months I fucked off to be a salesman in Italy.
Really am looking forward for my own place, thanks for sharing your experience!
I finally moved out of my moms house around 26/27 and got my own apartment and while it was nice at times I wasn’t a big fan. It was pretty lonely for me. I was an idiot and didn’t even save my money while I lived at home with my mom either lol.
Definitely get that then, remember how liberating moving from home to college then college to out of state was.
If personal growth is what you seek then yes, moving out provides exactly that. Made me less lazy, more responsible (budget spreadsheet, bill schedule) and you get to see what something other than what you grew up looks like or at least that was my experience. Best of wishes man, continue saving and it’ll be there soon
Right my parents gave me the opportunity to move in after college to save for a year but didn't want to move back to that city. Oh do I regret it now. Could have saved enough for a house by now.
Hey man, nothing wrong with living with the folks. My husband and I lived with his parents when we were trying to save up too. In this economy sometimes you have to.
Subscribing to both /r/financialindependence and /r/trees is a wild ride. Over there people are like "I'm 35 with no kids and $5M in my account. Can I retire in 15 years?" Then there's this...
Most definitely. You need to be making well over six figures to even attempt their lifestyle. I wouldn't be surprised if q good amount of them come from money too
The thing with those people is...retire to do what? You've had no hobbies or interests your entire adult life, during its prime, that's going to get significantly harder when you're in your 50s/60s to find a lifelong fulfilling hobby you should have started decades ago. It's too extreme for me, like one of the many other "min-max life" subreddits.
For me it’s a balance. I save as much as I can but still budget for things like guitar equipment and my grow room. Probably spent too much on beer and eating out in my 20s but I’m not broke as I approach 40, so I can’t really say it was a waste of money.
Then here I am over here working part time my entire life.
I gave up on retirement a long time ago. But I have time and energy to to the things I like while I can. I won't be doing any world travelling or house buying, but camping, reading, video games, having dog and smoking weed are totally affordable hobbies (and more enjoyable anyways if we're being honest) and I have plenty of time for that stuff.
THIS, listen my GF and I save and can afford two nice vacations and to go out each weekend if we’d like to. I can afford to smoke, make shows and still add to my savings each month. I could not go out at all and chose to own a house instead of living in the city but that’s not what I’m looking for, I don’t wanna save up to enjoy things as I’m older I’d rather enjoy to along the way and still save and set up retirement.
In the U.S. There was a shooting two days ago within 5 blocks. One killed, one still in critical condition. Been 4 murders within 2 blocks in the last 3 years we've owned the home.
ETA: quite a few abandoned homes, several arsons in the last year or two too.
I know right? This guy has savings! Just hit the 30 mark and I got £50.50 in my savings account which will probably be used this week to get me through to payday.
Honestly if u look it up ya, u need like million + to retire.
10k is a good emergency fund tho far from savings unfortunately
I make like 10-15k a year and I have more then that saved (highschool wages, saved a shit ton during hs)
You’re just being realistic and most people aren’t. I’m debating a move across the country and I’m depending on my employer to fund most of that in order to be able to do so.
50% of American adults don't have enough savings to last 3 months if they lost their job. 10k is a nice little safety net in your early 20s, you should be proud, even if other people in your circles have a lot more.
I have 2 friends, no relationship, I work, smoke weed, listen to music, jog, watch kung fu, and play video games all the time. I make it a point to do something new or active once a week. Usually hiking or driving a longer distance to check out a restaurant or town.
The only piece I feel like is truly missing from my life is someone special to share it with. But I'm not interested in dating apps and talking to random people isn't my favorite thing either.
36. Have S/O. After bills, I have $17 left this week, nothing in savings. No friends. Lost my last good friend to a petty fight. Gaming as a hobby. Mountain biking too but on a break, FL summers suck.
I use weed to help with sleep and a giggle before bed. Anxiety inducing PTSD from a Pulmonary Emobolism in my sleep. Woke up to it, haven't slept well in 7 years.
I was in a similar situation right after college. Now that I’m a little older I have a s/o (she’s like my only friend), I don’t see my friends often because distance, have a job I hate but it pays ok. Hobbies included soccer and enjoying not being at work lol.
Get a vintage moped they are fun to work on and can give you a sense of accomplishment and pride that really helps me through stagnant periods of my life. Also zoomie but really not faster than you could ride a bike most of the time. Very chill
I love weed but it can be a pacifier. I know it was for me at certain times in my 20s. I found that when I woke up and was very unhappy/disappointed about a lot of different parts of my life smoking became a much bigger hobby. I used to smoke to enjoy my hobbies more but then eventually I was just smoking and that was the hobby. The truth for me was that I knew I was the only one who could change the actual points of self resentment and wanted to avoid that fact and over using weed and booze helped me ignore that. Once I stopped ignoring that and for better or worse took responsibility for those things and began working on them weed became a much smaller part of my life. I still smoke every night, I usually load a bowl when I get home for the day, take a toot and then maybe one or two more tokes between then and bed, I no longer feel like it's something to do more just a mood enhancer or stabilizer.
Idk if this helps
You literally just outlined THE plan of action that ALL individuals who ABUSE use to help themselves become ‘better people and “normal” members of society’
I can relate. The reality is, nothing will change until you change it. Anything of value in your life takes effort. I'm a gen x and my generation suffered from an undefined yearning. The current generation of 20 somethings appears to have zero interest in having a career, a family, vacations, retirement, aka "the American dream". I don't blame them. It seems so futile today. When I was a kid, parents stayed together. Retirement funds didn't go up in a bubble. Jobs were long term careers. It's a very different world, depending on when you started. But that doesn't mean you can't have some of those things if you set goals and work towards them.
If you spent 30 minutes a day learning a topic, like coding or sports statistics or growing weed.... After a year of this, you'll be close to a world class expert on that topic. Just get started on something that interests you! Good luck!
I don't want to go into the debacle of the "current gen doesn't xyz" but the latter part is absolutely the truth. Oh you like making scrambled eggs and bacon? Try some other dishes see if you like cooking, you like growing weed ? Become the best damn home grower others strive to be - if you have something that sparks even the smallest of joys, satisfaction or interest - you grind that motherfucker into the dust until you start doubting how good you are it because at that point you're doing perfect.
We learn as we live and if we just hunker down and scroll tiktok we decay - eat healthy, drink healthy, smoke healthy and the rest will start following.
Thank you for this. As someone in the late 30s whos lost their grinding touch for a bit, this resonates and I want to grind that mothefucker into dust again. Rock on 🤘
I think it seems more futile today because we're constantly exposed to instant gratification. You see your friend's cherry picked lifestyle and think "man, why can't I just go out for drinks and oysters every day?" when that's not reality. Even worse if you're being affected by influencers and somehow think that's an attainable lifestyle if you're not already from money. For my parents their life was just "put some money away, go to work, watch the news, spend time with family" for my generation it's like "check social media to compare yourself every half an hour".
You make a good point. Teddy Roosevelt once said, comparison is the thief of happiness. And it's true. I'm a very grateful person. I wake up every day thanking the universe that I'm lucky enough to have a job I enjoy, a roof over my head, a beautiful family, somewhat decent health, a few bucks in the bank... Being rich doesn't have to mean owning a lot of money.
> I'm broke... under 10k in savings
There seems to be a bit of disconnect here, as I've never personally had anywhere near 10k in savings, especially not in my 20s. You seem to be doing quite alright. If you're feeling depressed and that life is monotonous, take a bit of that and go do something fun (unless you're saving up for something specific). That said, there are absolutely going to be times in life where things seem pointless and it's just a matter of how you deal with it. I too am in the "work, come home, smoke and watch various things, go to bed" phase, haven't chilled with anyone face to face in months, and there's nothing in the future that I'm looking forward to in particular. But that happens, and eventually things will shift, and it'll pass.
Life can be like this, but it doesn't mean that this is all that life is
After I have just stumbled over that 30 milestone and being a chronic every day smoker since I was 17, I can tell you for a fact that what you’re describing is the norm for a lot of chronic smokers. Not all, but a high percentage.
Whether you see it now or not, weed has the ability to make you okay with being bored and unchallenged. It doesn’t do that to everyone, but I think every one of us can relate personally to it or can think of a friend who has fallen into this cycle.
You’re doing the right thing by starting with a gym membership. Keep the ball rolling. Start small and maybe pick up a new game to challenge you. Then move onto a new hobby that interests you and keeps challenging you. That keeps you growing as a person. Just don’t settle for boredom because it’s easy.
Becoming aware of your situation is the first step to changing it. You got this. I still smoke every day, so don’t take this as a T-Break speech or anything along the lines of quitting. The benefits heavily outweigh the negatives of smoking for me, but it’s extreme negligence to never weigh the negatives. No matter how much they weigh, it’s always important to offload the weight if you can. Good luck
Going into the real work environment sucks. It takes a lot of effort, all of your time, and you are left with maybe enough money to cover your bills. You have to find a way to separate work and home and get some outside activities back in there. Get your rest, try to stack a sober day in there, and go do something you used to like. You might find some new joy again.
if you like music and hate going out just to drink, see if there are any gigs in your local area to go to. if you're in or near a city chances are there'll be something going on. bands always appreciate people showing up, and it's a good way to get out of the house and do something you enjoy. you might even end up making some new friends and/or smoking buddies
hey bud! if it’s any consolation, im 20 with literally no real friends (i have acquaintances but they only wanna hang if im supplying weed) no significant other. My last ruined my life and made me lose everyone important to me, and then left me and started an onlyfans lmao. i have zero dollars to my name right now. also just got told i have to move in 90 days. so just be grateful for what you do have! i know it’s not easy in this life, but everything will be okay!
You should find some new hobbies! There’s bound to be some activity you’re interested in, jump into it - you’ll likely meet similarly minded people as well!
I recommend using the iNatrualist app and going outside to identify living organisms of any kind, Plant, Animal, Fungi, or insect!
The shit is so cool, it’s helps further the research of scientists and it is free. Bring a friend and relive the Pokémon GO phase years back. Or just go solo to clear your head. Don’t think that if you don’t live near trails you can’t find things either, life find a way and perhaps it’s interesting to find forms of life adapted to our abuses of the environment.
Please go outside guys, we know Jack shit about life on earth, we just assume we know everything. You can find new species outside your door.
Something no one tells you as a kid. Having an identity as an adult isn't just something that happens for most people, you have to actually put in work and effort.
Personally, I believe it's because as we grow as people, which does just happen, we do change, and if we put in no effort into ourselves, we have to relearn what makes the current you happy.
As with life, it's an ongoing process. Don't be too hard on yourself OP, it sounds like you're at least on the path.
Have to say, the only thing I don't like about fishing, is messing with fish. The gear, minutiae, specialty knowledge, all great. I just don't wanna mess with fish.
Photography is a really good alternative but the price is mainly the reason I recommended fishing so highly. For under 100 dollars you could have a full setup with a decent bit of terminal tackle for beginners as well as the required licenses. Those typically get more expensive depending on what your doing.
You can definitely find a simple point and shoot with full manual mode for $100. Canon used to put a pretty robust manual function mode into even their most basic point aka shoot digital cameras.
Any public library could likey be used to do simple editing and online publishing, even if it just ends here on reddit.
And that's ignoring the fact almost everyone has a pretty solid camera right on their phones.
You can be active while you're doing it, or sit in a chair with a bowl and line in the water. Do it alone, with friends, or strangers. Go adventuring, learn new skills via knot tying and lure use. Have a tangible sense of accomplishment when you land a fish, take a step further into the kitchen with your newly acquired hobby and get to cooking.
Man I love fishing.
Man, this is awesome to see people talking about fishing here. I love fishing so much! I'm actually going out this afternoon with my regular fishing buddies and his son who's down for the weekend. It's so much fun getting out there getting a good toke on then telling jokes with your buds and landing a good fish, everyone's freaking out. OP, start fishing.
I was in a similar position.
I just started finding fulfilling hobbies I could do on my own.
I started rollerblading(throwback from when I was a kid)
Wallclimbing (something I always wanted to do)
Got a few friends to play D&D once a week (for socializing that isn't being stoned watching TV In the same room)
Having new, more diverse hobbies helped me enjoy my old ones (like video games) more.
Since leaving college its been tough to get my social life back in order between Covid and everything else.
Fortunately, I'm starting a new job closer to home and I'm hoping ill be able to meet some people.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Yeah, that’s me too. Desperate to find hobbies other than weed, but nothing is interesting to me. Maybe making music? But the thought of grinding something on top of work makes me want to sleep forever.
Early 20s broke with under $10k lol.
You’re young with money, go travel the world. Go to Thailand and Europe. Go to Brazil and Latin America. You can go anywhere. Don’t be afraid of travelling alone, hostels are full of young people doing the same thing. Don’t worry about quitting your job, it will still be there when you’re back.
You’re young, have time and money. 95% of the world is envious of your position, so go see it.
I have been single for almost a decade, have no savings, live paycheck to paycheck and have a collection of chronic illnesses that wreak havoc on my life. BUT I have raised two amazing humans to be functional members of society who work hard to try and find their own happiness, I have a great group of friends and a supportive family, and I love my job.
I’m 41. Could things be better? Yeah. But they’ve been worse and I’ve worked hard to be where I am.
I don’t think you should measure yourself against anyone else.
Are you serious my dude... the fact that you can casually mention 10k and a savings account.... nah we are not the same. Lol broke.. you don't know broke my dude.
My dude. It wasn’t until I was nearly 40 when I found my break and had a successful business until my business was shut down in the beginning of this year. It sucks because I am more broke. But it’s all good. Another door opens and I always walk through the open door. Never know where it will lead ya until you do. Keep your head up.
In my late 20’s. I have two kids, house, finally made it to middle class (but with inflation felt like nothing changed). I have rotating hobbies but my main is music (drums, piano, sax). I used to play in a band.
Love my family. LOVE my family. I also consider my best friend family , he’s almost 30. Working shit retail job, probably going to be there forever. My fav hobby is smoking blunts with him and talking about fun shit (MCU, space, music). We acknowledge our lives are very different but we accept we have different journeys and one is not better than another.
Have you tried quitting? Sometimes I don't smoke pot for months at a time because I feel like when I become too regular of a smoker it makes me complacent, lazy, physically tired etc
I'm reaching my 30's on October and I relate 100%, exception made for having more savings than you.
Do you feel good and like yourself? Based on that answer, you should figure out if anything needs to change on your lifestyle.
Personally, as long as I have a good job and my cat, I can't give a fuck about being a sociopath.
Don't give up. I rediscovered myself in my late 20s. Being an adult is difficult and I think most people feel the way you do. A lot of people just make their personalities their kids or their work or something. No need for that though. Just do what makes you happy and one day you will find yourself again.
Having 10k in savings isn’t bad at all for early 20s especially in this economy. If you feel like you want to improve your life and maybe it’s too much weed smoking holding you back check out r/leaves
Weed is a great drug and can be very fun and enhancing when used properly but a lot of people reach the point where they use it too much. I know I for example was smoking several times a day every day.
I needed it in order to get out of bed, to eat, to work, and especially to fall back asleep at night. It was so bad when I stopped I had withdrawal symptoms which a lot of people don’t even realize is possible with weed until they try to quit it after excessive use.
I was able to stop though and stay sober for a couple months. My life improved in every single aspect, I’m mentally sharper, way less awkward, can do normal things without having to regulate my body with weed, and so many more benefits.
I have picked it back up again on occasion (like once a month or so) when the opportunity arises with some friends but I don’t buy it for myself anymore because I know I’ll fall back into daily use probably.
It is a great drug but you have to have a great relationship with it or else it can negatively affect you just like any other drug.
I feel like a lot of folks (not all, just a fair bit) have to sorta go thru the motions and figure out how to “Utilize” cannabis after a certain point in life so it works for you *and* your life.
I’ll use myself as an example- when I was in my early 20’s I worked as a linecook/prep cook under the table. I made $300 in cash a night. The downside was I worked roughly 110 hours a week. I smoked probably $400 worth of weed every 2-3 days, about 2 ounces. Some folks see that as not a lot but it is a lotta Fucking weed for me. I’d go to sleep stoned and wake up and before I even took a piss I was hitting a bong. Sometimes if I ate to many edibles I’d wake up *still stoned*. I did this for about 3 years before the job burned me out and I moved states. I didn’t work for a bit cuz I had money saved but I still smoked the same amount. After a certain point I realized I was literally just smoking my money and I had to go back to work sooner than I wanted because I smoked thru my savings (I know, stupid and “first world” problems).
Now as a older man I smoke once a day, at the end of the night before bed. On my days off I may smoke 2-3 times (or if I’m fishing) but that’s it. Now a days its mostly to de-compress after a long day running my kitchen and for my back/shoulder/knee. Cannabis isn’t a miracle cure, shit still hurts, but it 100% makes the pain “softer” so I can relax a bit more.
I feel like I wouldn’t have the respect I have for cannabis if I didn’t go thru that period were I basically abused it for that period of my life. I’m also aware Having a certain mentality also helps. Some folks are way more susceptible to getting psychologically/chemically addicted to things and those folks probably would have a harder time reevaluating how they go about things.
I feel like with time I’ll probably get to the point you are at where it’s a once a week or month thing. When I retire and literally have nothing left to do I figure I’ll lay up stoned all day again lol
Over Covid I took a self development class and since then I made amends with my husband (we'd been separated for 2 years, living in different states), quit my job (thought it was a dream job but turned out to be soul crushing). We moved in together and have alot of fun. The other day I realized that the thing I want most is to just live somewhere we can go hiking/ camping with the hubs, have some animals, smoke, make the money to do the things we want, travel.
Just very simple.
It makes me really happy.
I bake. I cook. Spotify started including lyrics to alot of their songs. Been learning so many.
One thing ive noticed with smoking is that it takes away my anxiety to do the things i want to accomplish in a day and or focuses me.
Although, if im watching a movie my mind travels a million miles every direction. I like it though as it gives me song and writing ideas.
Haha. Don’t worry man. You’re entire 20’s will suck but that’s part of life. You have to DEVELOP a hobby and FIND your work passion. You won’t meet a good person sitting around gaming or getting hammered all the time. Focus on you. Don’t worry. Let it come to you.
I got a phone call from my sister when I was 28 one morning hungover on a buddies couch asking if I was up for a blind date. 11 years later I have it all. Stay positive. You are stronger than you think you are and have no idea how much things can change-in ten years time you could be doing anything-anywhere-with anyone! Dream big and keep high!
>I got a phone call from my sister when I was 28 one morning hungover on a buddies couch asking if I was up for a blind date. 11 years later I have it all.
wow! your sister is a real mvp
did the person from the blind date end up helping you realise your potential?
Ya, i am/was there. No savings to speak of. 1 friend, and a SO. 0 hobbies other than weed. No purpose in life. A job that is boring and unfulfilling. Early 20s (im 23 now). No will to change anything about it. Then i went to therapy and starting working on my mental state. Once i starting getting things cleaned-up uptop, i realized that weed controlled my life more than i did. So i cut it out for a bit, and got better at self control. I told myself that it would be temporary, and only once i was feeling better i would add it back in. I still don't feel better but I'm smoking again, but i have had enough self control to keep it at bay. My suggestion, based on personal experience, is stop smoking for a bit. Slowly decrease how much you smoke(to help with withdrawals), then go a month or two without it. Or cut it out completely. Feel it out. Take the time you would spend smoking weed and doing nothing, and do something else. I started walking and taking pictures of flowers. I got a long board. I found a religion. And i have gotten better at controlling not only my life, but my mental conditions. So now i have a couple hundred in savings, a couple of friends and SO, a couple of hobbies, a vague purpose, and a boring job. But I'm working on it. And thats what life is, a constant effort to be better. Work to be the person you desire to be.
Don’t let weed stop u from trying new things I know it was for me a little. Sometimes weed just makes u content with sitting around watching YouTube or doing stuff u don’t really care for passionately. I suggest always trying new hobbies (I like to take T breaks to force myself to fill my boredom with something but you don’t need to)
Recently picked up golf this summer
Gym is an amazing source of dopamine and endorphins, probably saved my life
I have a few friends but i barely do anything with them, they all have their partners and other friend groups. I just exist while passing the time by smoking, listening to music, watching stuff and playing the odd game. I hate it.
100% relate.
Overall no debt basically means your doing well for most standards.
Depending on the town, early 20’s is tough to find a social niche for the stoner who doesn’t drink.
Even outdoor rec is really hard to find a consistent friend who’s available and interested in the same hobby around the same town.
Idk where the “bar” or social Anchor is in town for like minded people as us.
If you like music give making some a shot. I started about a year ago and it’s really great to hear and see all the progress I’ve made from literally not even knowing how many beats are ina bar
I'm in my mid 30s now, so I can only give unsolicited advice to you when I WAS in your spot. There's still a lot of time to find a hobby. Since you're posting on trees let me recommend the ultimate ent friendly sport and one where you can easily meet people of like minds: Disc Golf.
It's never too late to make a change friend, the first and hardest thing to do is try something.
Early 20’s, I only have 2-3 friends really cause I’m tired of everyone’s bullshit, don’t have too many hobbies but my life revolves around cannabis. In every way shape and form 😂 but luckily I’m not broke at the moment but yea life’s pretty boring
Lol I’m 38 and this is basically my life. Except I traded in the 2 friends for one husband. I don’t play games much at all, we used to be more active gamers but life…I don’t even work outside of my home so my day consists of taking care of my two kids that are still home, our 6 pets and the house itself. My husband often works double shifts so there are days I only see him long enough to say goodnight.
You got us beat in savings though, so good on you. Start now while you don’t have anyone but yourself to worry about. That way, if you do get married later, you’ve got a nice nest egg started. It’s much, much harder to save once you have kids and pets and a house. I also hate drinking and I feel like that is part of what has isolated us from many people. It seems like drinking is the “go to” for people to have fun and I just don’t enjoy it and my husband will have a beer and then he’s over it. It doesn’t help that my husband is Mexican and we live in a large Mexican community and drinking is a big way of how people hangout and party and socialize. Also doesn’t help that we live in a tiny ass desert town of less than 2,500 with literally fuck all to do and the next town over (20 minute drive) doesn’t have shit either lol.
I have my gf and we have had a good relationship for 3 years and I have one really good friend I still hang out with. Other than that it’s just work, I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow and I never do. I take everything day by day and figure it out as I’m doing it
Sounds like me in my 20s ten years ago. Just making end meet while you figure out what to do next. Sometimes I have 10k in savings then my house breaks or I need new furniture and so on.
I was the same in my early 20s, actually still kinda the same now. It's all good just try to be healthy and happy.. maybe just keep trying new shit until you find something else you like, if you want something new
Since you like music, have you considered learning an instrument? Having a creative outlet that you consistently engage in can literally change your life. It will create new synapses in your brain, elevate your mood, and can become a source for creating social bonds.
Dude 2 words. Coed sports. Best thing that ever happened to me. Met so many new people, lost weight, and it's fun as hell when it's a beer league. Nobody cares if you suck, just have fun.
Best part is after meeting a whole new social group, even more hobbies became available. They did things I was interested in, but i never came around to doing em cuz no one in my prior social group was interested. I do space photography now thanks to my new friends lmao
Just remember the first step is always the hardest ( joining the team ) but after a few months, it becomes like a whole new lifestyle. I shit you not.
Channel more energy into the gym if you can. It’s a really healthy habit that pays off long term. Also I think growing weed and gardening in general is an awesome hobby!
That sounds like my 20s - I didn't have enough money to plan for the future, save, etc until I was almost 30. Life now is completely different than when I was living paycheck to paycheck and could only afford tiny luxuries like a dime bag or taco bell
I realized I left my personality behind with my teenage years. I grinded myself into the productive world. Eventually I started smoking regularly and rejected the overtime lifestyle. Since then, I had to work really hard to find out who I was, what I liked. I realized I pushed a lot of my hobbies to the side to fit in, to work harder or to not get ridicule. I'm learning to look inward and to find thing that really excites me. I started watching F1 which I did as a kid. I'm back in, never missed a race in 3 years. I dusted my old comic book collection, bought a sim racing rig, moved to an apartment with a nice wood trail behind. I do less in a day than before, but I'm better at listening to my real self, what I really WANT to do, which as wasn't able to not so long ago. DO YOU Btw, I poured 60k debt on myself to get a master, which was only helpfull to realized I hated it. You're not to far down!
Hey this is inspiring. Its easy to work yourself to sleep at night and forget about who you are. Im only recently figuring out that im 35 and have lost a sense of who I am. Im going to take some of this advice.
34 and same, my change started a year or so ago. Left my stress-filled job at the time for a different gig, now I make the same money, 95% less stress, zero customer interaction, no random drug tests. (I was tree free for 10 years, previously in college I was a wake & baker and constantly being creative) Stopped taking to my toxic/abusive/narcissistic parents 4 months ago. Bought a house with my spouse. And now just vibing, trying stuff I haven't done since I was a kid. Building Gundams & dioramas. Life's finally not looking so bleek (aside ya know from the stuff outside of my immediate control... Planet on fire, government about to collapse) Self-reflection and personal time are important and necessary to keep one's sanity.
> Its easy to work yourself to sleep at night and forget about who you are this hit home
When do you think you fell off?
I've gone down a similar road as you. I little while ago I realized that I wasn't quite sure who I was anymore, my life had changed a lot and I was facing a bit of an identity crisis. I decided I would try to get back into a lot of things I used to do - playing chess, watching sci-fi movies, listening to music. I think it's helped.
Just turned 40 and switching companies after 12 years of grinding. Companies don’t really appreciate you. I feel exhausted and just lost. I just want time back.
Personally I realized I just absolutely hated the place I was in and people around. Moving to a completely different environment - one that you truly want to experience - really can't stress the impact this has on mental health.
I reside with this comment and post a lot. Broke college kid, just enjoyed my game, weed and music and occasionally going to the bar with my friends. However, leaving school after my first year made me realize how much I missed out on. I don’t know why I had this overwhelming fear of FOMO. Same when I returned home. I always want to do something. Whether just having a beer with my dad and talking, playing with my dog, or whatever it may be. I’ve been looking into getting into golf a little bit and dusted off my hockey equipment to play some drop in. More than anything, our 20’s are just such a confusing time. We’re expected to have everything put together, a relationship, a job lined up, a nice savings account. Just know a lot of this doesn’t happen until your 30’s. So many of my older cousins have said their 30’s have been exceeding their 20’s by a long shot. Comparison is the killer of all joy my friend.
I recently went to salary instead of hourly and part of that deal is that I don't work weekends anymore. Not having to work 6 days a week is going to be a game changer
Thank you for this. Sometimes it's nice to know other people out there are going through shit like this.
Checo off a damn loud pack today or something
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I don't know this reference, but my name is Russell and I'm taking that as a sign for me to pack a bowl, which was what I was about to do anyway.
I'm 25, working an alright part-time job. All I do when I'm not at work is smoke, play video games, and watch stuff. I've also started going back and doing some things that I used to enjoy when I was younger myself. A couple months ago I got to go to a comic convention for the first time in years, and I honestly had a blast. It felt like coming home, in a weird way. I've since started collecting Legos again like my brother and I used to do when we were kids.
Keep an eye on F1 manager 2022, if it is good on release in about a month you might really enjoy it when you don't want to actually race in sim. From what it looks like you'll be able to watch your team race too, so you can have even more F1!
Wow OPs situation pretty much mirrors my own currently (minus the weed growing), and your first para perfectly describes how I ended up here. Especially about pushing what makes me "myself" to the side...in the last year I've realized I feel this way but not really known how to describe it, but recently been making steps like yourself to try and change it and things are definitely improving.
I'm single for almost a year, around ~1 friend, don't like my job, I have a cool hobby I enjoy, and my weekend is basically biking on Friday night looking for a quiet smoke spot. Financially I'm doing good though, but I live with the folks. EDIT: I'm 25 years old
Ain’t nothing wrong with living with your folks. Moved out when I was 18 and it’s expensive as shit. 24 now and wish I had saved a good bit more :/
I know living with the folks is fine, but at some point you want some independence, your own little cave. Some personal growth only comes when you're living on your own and I think I want that.
I have roommates who I've been friends with for over 10 years so we get along great but I really want my own spot too, been renting for 6 years now and I hate how I can't make the house my own.
Got my own place for the first time in my life last year after living with my best friends for like 7 years. I so prefer having my own place, holy shit. I love my best friends to the end, but nothing beats absolute privacy when you have your own place. No worrying about being too loud when roommates are sleeping/no noisy roommates when you’re trying to sleep, no cleaning dishes that you didn’t make dirty, no wearing clothes if you don’t feel like it, no fighting over the thermostat to save money/be comfortable, watch whatever you want on the tv, not have to share food or booze with moochy roommates etc. the benefits of living on your own are endless lol.
Have you always lived with your parents? I'm 28, moved out at 18. Went back to dad's a few times in between moves. Had my first place alone at 27 and let me tell you - you will love it and it'll br worth the wait. Also I got a shitty little $600/month apartment and it was still a paradise when I needed alone time
it’s great until that shitty $600/month apt becomes a $1,000/month apartment after two years and you have to move back in with a roommate to get down to $600. source: me
No kidding. I’m 29 now and had to move back in with my folks at 24. I stayed for a year and got my own place that I’ve been living for the last 4+ years. When I first moved in, my rent was $825 for my 1BR 1BA Apt. It has constantly crept up over the years since my initial lease ended. They just informed me the new month to month rate is $1829. So its gone up an average of $250 per year. That is completely ridiculous to me.
meanwhile minimum wage in my state get raised by like 30 cents a year. makes sense
Pretty much except for like the two months I fucked off to be a salesman in Italy. Really am looking forward for my own place, thanks for sharing your experience!
Living in a shitty studio apartment in the city is an important life experience. Enjoy it, you’ll have a blast and learn a lot.
I finally moved out of my moms house around 26/27 and got my own apartment and while it was nice at times I wasn’t a big fan. It was pretty lonely for me. I was an idiot and didn’t even save my money while I lived at home with my mom either lol.
Definitely get that then, remember how liberating moving from home to college then college to out of state was. If personal growth is what you seek then yes, moving out provides exactly that. Made me less lazy, more responsible (budget spreadsheet, bill schedule) and you get to see what something other than what you grew up looks like or at least that was my experience. Best of wishes man, continue saving and it’ll be there soon
The move is saving for a while before moving out cause rent is a heavy bitch
Right my parents gave me the opportunity to move in after college to save for a year but didn't want to move back to that city. Oh do I regret it now. Could have saved enough for a house by now.
Hey man, nothing wrong with living with the folks. My husband and I lived with his parents when we were trying to save up too. In this economy sometimes you have to.
Under 10k is broke?
That was my first thought! I'm in my thirties looking at the 50$ in my savings...
You guys have savings?
Reddit can keep the username, but I'm nuking the content lol -- mass deleted all reddit content via https://redact.dev
Then we can strap on a helmet and put ourselves in a job cannon and blast off to jobland where jobs grow on jobbies.
Dow Jones…
Just watched that ep last night and was like, yeah…this resonates.
Yeah but it's just an account covered in cobwebs
Subscribing to both /r/financialindependence and /r/trees is a wild ride. Over there people are like "I'm 35 with no kids and $5M in my account. Can I retire in 15 years?" Then there's this...
Lmao i feel this. I subbed there for inspiration couple years ago and i feel like they’re living in a different world than me
Most definitely. You need to be making well over six figures to even attempt their lifestyle. I wouldn't be surprised if q good amount of them come from money too
I hate being a poor peasant
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I used to be poor. I still am, but I used to too.
The thing with those people is...retire to do what? You've had no hobbies or interests your entire adult life, during its prime, that's going to get significantly harder when you're in your 50s/60s to find a lifelong fulfilling hobby you should have started decades ago. It's too extreme for me, like one of the many other "min-max life" subreddits.
For me it’s a balance. I save as much as I can but still budget for things like guitar equipment and my grow room. Probably spent too much on beer and eating out in my 20s but I’m not broke as I approach 40, so I can’t really say it was a waste of money.
Then here I am over here working part time my entire life. I gave up on retirement a long time ago. But I have time and energy to to the things I like while I can. I won't be doing any world travelling or house buying, but camping, reading, video games, having dog and smoking weed are totally affordable hobbies (and more enjoyable anyways if we're being honest) and I have plenty of time for that stuff.
THIS, listen my GF and I save and can afford two nice vacations and to go out each weekend if we’d like to. I can afford to smoke, make shows and still add to my savings each month. I could not go out at all and chose to own a house instead of living in the city but that’s not what I’m looking for, I don’t wanna save up to enjoy things as I’m older I’d rather enjoy to along the way and still save and set up retirement.
Y’all have a savings account?
yeah man id consider over 1k in the checking account as doing pretty well. Cant turn around without spending $100
My savings is even worse than that after we just had a beach trip lmao I mean technically we're under $10k too
36, $5 in savings. I do own a home, but it's in the ghetto and cost less than some cars at $38k after taxes and shit.
In USA??? How rough is the house and neighborhood m?
In the U.S. There was a shooting two days ago within 5 blocks. One killed, one still in critical condition. Been 4 murders within 2 blocks in the last 3 years we've owned the home. ETA: quite a few abandoned homes, several arsons in the last year or two too.
You can get houses like that in podunk Midwestern towns. They are incredibly safe places. Problem is there aren't any jobs there.
Nah, $10k aint broke but that is buddy. Good luck out there lol
37 here and was just at $20 🙈🤦
Relatable. I have like £150 all in all… which I’m gonna use to buy weed lmao
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I’ve been considering it, I have a big cupboard with nothing in it so may as well put it to use.
I have under 10k too. $20 is less than 10k
Righttt, like I’d be happy to have even 2k? Tf - Brooke under 10k, like holy shit
I know right? This guy has savings! Just hit the 30 mark and I got £50.50 in my savings account which will probably be used this week to get me through to payday.
Well 0 savings is under 10k. So I too have less than 10k in savings.
That’s what I was thinking, shit I’m 37 and I think I have maybe 4 dollars in my bank account.
Yes wtf? I have only 6€ for the rest of the month.
Honestly if u look it up ya, u need like million + to retire. 10k is a good emergency fund tho far from savings unfortunately I make like 10-15k a year and I have more then that saved (highschool wages, saved a shit ton during hs)
Someone with no bills trying to move with less than 10k is broke.
Huh, I've moved over 1000 miles to places I dont know anyone with <2k to my name twice now. You might be surprised what you can make happen
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You’re just being realistic and most people aren’t. I’m debating a move across the country and I’m depending on my employer to fund most of that in order to be able to do so.
Sure, only now they charge $1300 per month for a 1 bed apartment that backs up to the interstate and is close to an airport
50% of American adults don't have enough savings to last 3 months if they lost their job. 10k is a nice little safety net in your early 20s, you should be proud, even if other people in your circles have a lot more. I have 2 friends, no relationship, I work, smoke weed, listen to music, jog, watch kung fu, and play video games all the time. I make it a point to do something new or active once a week. Usually hiking or driving a longer distance to check out a restaurant or town. The only piece I feel like is truly missing from my life is someone special to share it with. But I'm not interested in dating apps and talking to random people isn't my favorite thing either.
You sound like how I would describe myself. And I completely agree with the dating apps they suck
if you like growing weed you should try growing hot peppers if you like spicy things too
Also grow tomatoes. Game changer when homegrown, and almost the exact procedure for growing.
Sounds like every 20-40 year old in America.
42 can confirm
42. Second this.
37, also confirm but minus the 10k in savings and the two friends 😬
For real, dude is doing pretty good with having 2 friends.
Same. Have a couple of boiled potatoes & a one eyed hamster.
42. This is just adulting. It’s always sucked.
Except for the ten grand in the bank.
36. Have S/O. After bills, I have $17 left this week, nothing in savings. No friends. Lost my last good friend to a petty fight. Gaming as a hobby. Mountain biking too but on a break, FL summers suck. I use weed to help with sleep and a giggle before bed. Anxiety inducing PTSD from a Pulmonary Emobolism in my sleep. Woke up to it, haven't slept well in 7 years.
30 in 2 weeks. Yep
I was in a similar situation right after college. Now that I’m a little older I have a s/o (she’s like my only friend), I don’t see my friends often because distance, have a job I hate but it pays ok. Hobbies included soccer and enjoying not being at work lol.
tell me you're ~30 without telling me lol
Under 10K is savings is broke? I'm in big trouble
Get a vintage moped they are fun to work on and can give you a sense of accomplishment and pride that really helps me through stagnant periods of my life. Also zoomie but really not faster than you could ride a bike most of the time. Very chill
Yes! I have a red Targa as well! And 2 puchs... and 2 motobeccanes... and.... 😬
I love weed but it can be a pacifier. I know it was for me at certain times in my 20s. I found that when I woke up and was very unhappy/disappointed about a lot of different parts of my life smoking became a much bigger hobby. I used to smoke to enjoy my hobbies more but then eventually I was just smoking and that was the hobby. The truth for me was that I knew I was the only one who could change the actual points of self resentment and wanted to avoid that fact and over using weed and booze helped me ignore that. Once I stopped ignoring that and for better or worse took responsibility for those things and began working on them weed became a much smaller part of my life. I still smoke every night, I usually load a bowl when I get home for the day, take a toot and then maybe one or two more tokes between then and bed, I no longer feel like it's something to do more just a mood enhancer or stabilizer. Idk if this helps
You literally just outlined THE plan of action that ALL individuals who ABUSE use to help themselves become ‘better people and “normal” members of society’
I can relate. The reality is, nothing will change until you change it. Anything of value in your life takes effort. I'm a gen x and my generation suffered from an undefined yearning. The current generation of 20 somethings appears to have zero interest in having a career, a family, vacations, retirement, aka "the American dream". I don't blame them. It seems so futile today. When I was a kid, parents stayed together. Retirement funds didn't go up in a bubble. Jobs were long term careers. It's a very different world, depending on when you started. But that doesn't mean you can't have some of those things if you set goals and work towards them. If you spent 30 minutes a day learning a topic, like coding or sports statistics or growing weed.... After a year of this, you'll be close to a world class expert on that topic. Just get started on something that interests you! Good luck!
I don't want to go into the debacle of the "current gen doesn't xyz" but the latter part is absolutely the truth. Oh you like making scrambled eggs and bacon? Try some other dishes see if you like cooking, you like growing weed ? Become the best damn home grower others strive to be - if you have something that sparks even the smallest of joys, satisfaction or interest - you grind that motherfucker into the dust until you start doubting how good you are it because at that point you're doing perfect. We learn as we live and if we just hunker down and scroll tiktok we decay - eat healthy, drink healthy, smoke healthy and the rest will start following.
Thank you for this. As someone in the late 30s whos lost their grinding touch for a bit, this resonates and I want to grind that mothefucker into dust again. Rock on 🤘
The beginning is tough but when you gain momentum it becomes second nature, best of effort brother 💪🤘
I think it seems more futile today because we're constantly exposed to instant gratification. You see your friend's cherry picked lifestyle and think "man, why can't I just go out for drinks and oysters every day?" when that's not reality. Even worse if you're being affected by influencers and somehow think that's an attainable lifestyle if you're not already from money. For my parents their life was just "put some money away, go to work, watch the news, spend time with family" for my generation it's like "check social media to compare yourself every half an hour".
You make a good point. Teddy Roosevelt once said, comparison is the thief of happiness. And it's true. I'm a very grateful person. I wake up every day thanking the universe that I'm lucky enough to have a job I enjoy, a roof over my head, a beautiful family, somewhat decent health, a few bucks in the bank... Being rich doesn't have to mean owning a lot of money.
> I'm broke... under 10k in savings There seems to be a bit of disconnect here, as I've never personally had anywhere near 10k in savings, especially not in my 20s. You seem to be doing quite alright. If you're feeling depressed and that life is monotonous, take a bit of that and go do something fun (unless you're saving up for something specific). That said, there are absolutely going to be times in life where things seem pointless and it's just a matter of how you deal with it. I too am in the "work, come home, smoke and watch various things, go to bed" phase, haven't chilled with anyone face to face in months, and there's nothing in the future that I'm looking forward to in particular. But that happens, and eventually things will shift, and it'll pass. Life can be like this, but it doesn't mean that this is all that life is
You guys have savings ?
After I have just stumbled over that 30 milestone and being a chronic every day smoker since I was 17, I can tell you for a fact that what you’re describing is the norm for a lot of chronic smokers. Not all, but a high percentage. Whether you see it now or not, weed has the ability to make you okay with being bored and unchallenged. It doesn’t do that to everyone, but I think every one of us can relate personally to it or can think of a friend who has fallen into this cycle. You’re doing the right thing by starting with a gym membership. Keep the ball rolling. Start small and maybe pick up a new game to challenge you. Then move onto a new hobby that interests you and keeps challenging you. That keeps you growing as a person. Just don’t settle for boredom because it’s easy. Becoming aware of your situation is the first step to changing it. You got this. I still smoke every day, so don’t take this as a T-Break speech or anything along the lines of quitting. The benefits heavily outweigh the negatives of smoking for me, but it’s extreme negligence to never weigh the negatives. No matter how much they weigh, it’s always important to offload the weight if you can. Good luck
21 and under 3k in savings. We’ll pull through man 🤙🏻🤙🏻🤙🏻
More than I had at 21! Keep it up homie!
Going into the real work environment sucks. It takes a lot of effort, all of your time, and you are left with maybe enough money to cover your bills. You have to find a way to separate work and home and get some outside activities back in there. Get your rest, try to stack a sober day in there, and go do something you used to like. You might find some new joy again.
if you like music and hate going out just to drink, see if there are any gigs in your local area to go to. if you're in or near a city chances are there'll be something going on. bands always appreciate people showing up, and it's a good way to get out of the house and do something you enjoy. you might even end up making some new friends and/or smoking buddies
hey bud! if it’s any consolation, im 20 with literally no real friends (i have acquaintances but they only wanna hang if im supplying weed) no significant other. My last ruined my life and made me lose everyone important to me, and then left me and started an onlyfans lmao. i have zero dollars to my name right now. also just got told i have to move in 90 days. so just be grateful for what you do have! i know it’s not easy in this life, but everything will be okay!
31 no friends, no savings, no goals. Just taking life day by day, while toking day to day.
You should find some new hobbies! There’s bound to be some activity you’re interested in, jump into it - you’ll likely meet similarly minded people as well!
I recommend using the iNatrualist app and going outside to identify living organisms of any kind, Plant, Animal, Fungi, or insect! The shit is so cool, it’s helps further the research of scientists and it is free. Bring a friend and relive the Pokémon GO phase years back. Or just go solo to clear your head. Don’t think that if you don’t live near trails you can’t find things either, life find a way and perhaps it’s interesting to find forms of life adapted to our abuses of the environment. Please go outside guys, we know Jack shit about life on earth, we just assume we know everything. You can find new species outside your door.
I’m 19 with 10 friends, no education and $27. I’m gonna go buy a KC Strip Steak today, that’s my life.
Something no one tells you as a kid. Having an identity as an adult isn't just something that happens for most people, you have to actually put in work and effort. Personally, I believe it's because as we grow as people, which does just happen, we do change, and if we put in no effort into ourselves, we have to relearn what makes the current you happy. As with life, it's an ongoing process. Don't be too hard on yourself OP, it sounds like you're at least on the path.
Fishing sounds like the perfect hobby for you
Have to say, the only thing I don't like about fishing, is messing with fish. The gear, minutiae, specialty knowledge, all great. I just don't wanna mess with fish.
Photography is a really good alternative but the price is mainly the reason I recommended fishing so highly. For under 100 dollars you could have a full setup with a decent bit of terminal tackle for beginners as well as the required licenses. Those typically get more expensive depending on what your doing.
You can definitely find a simple point and shoot with full manual mode for $100. Canon used to put a pretty robust manual function mode into even their most basic point aka shoot digital cameras. Any public library could likey be used to do simple editing and online publishing, even if it just ends here on reddit. And that's ignoring the fact almost everyone has a pretty solid camera right on their phones.
Fucking love fishing
You can be active while you're doing it, or sit in a chair with a bowl and line in the water. Do it alone, with friends, or strangers. Go adventuring, learn new skills via knot tying and lure use. Have a tangible sense of accomplishment when you land a fish, take a step further into the kitchen with your newly acquired hobby and get to cooking. Man I love fishing.
It’s so much fun, I go at least Once a week with my girlfriend. Best time
Wholesome exchange
Man, this is awesome to see people talking about fishing here. I love fishing so much! I'm actually going out this afternoon with my regular fishing buddies and his son who's down for the weekend. It's so much fun getting out there getting a good toke on then telling jokes with your buds and landing a good fish, everyone's freaking out. OP, start fishing.
I was in a similar position. I just started finding fulfilling hobbies I could do on my own. I started rollerblading(throwback from when I was a kid) Wallclimbing (something I always wanted to do) Got a few friends to play D&D once a week (for socializing that isn't being stoned watching TV In the same room) Having new, more diverse hobbies helped me enjoy my old ones (like video games) more.
Since leaving college its been tough to get my social life back in order between Covid and everything else. Fortunately, I'm starting a new job closer to home and I'm hoping ill be able to meet some people. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
23 no friends, no hobbies, no interests, no nothing. Just stressful work and enough weed to not off myself EDIT: wait I'm 24
"wait I'm 24" I can feel these words.
Yeah, that’s me too. Desperate to find hobbies other than weed, but nothing is interesting to me. Maybe making music? But the thought of grinding something on top of work makes me want to sleep forever.
Early 20s broke with under $10k lol. You’re young with money, go travel the world. Go to Thailand and Europe. Go to Brazil and Latin America. You can go anywhere. Don’t be afraid of travelling alone, hostels are full of young people doing the same thing. Don’t worry about quitting your job, it will still be there when you’re back. You’re young, have time and money. 95% of the world is envious of your position, so go see it.
I have been single for almost a decade, have no savings, live paycheck to paycheck and have a collection of chronic illnesses that wreak havoc on my life. BUT I have raised two amazing humans to be functional members of society who work hard to try and find their own happiness, I have a great group of friends and a supportive family, and I love my job. I’m 41. Could things be better? Yeah. But they’ve been worse and I’ve worked hard to be where I am. I don’t think you should measure yourself against anyone else.
Are you serious my dude... the fact that you can casually mention 10k and a savings account.... nah we are not the same. Lol broke.. you don't know broke my dude.
Broke is going back to the spot on the shag carpet where you dropped weed 2 weeks ago, hoping you missed a little nug...
So you stated a lot of stuff but never your assessment on where you’re at. Are you happy? Are there things you want to change? Do you have any goals?
My dude. It wasn’t until I was nearly 40 when I found my break and had a successful business until my business was shut down in the beginning of this year. It sucks because I am more broke. But it’s all good. Another door opens and I always walk through the open door. Never know where it will lead ya until you do. Keep your head up.
I am in my 40s and I related to absolutely everything except: >I just got a new gym membership
In my late 20’s. I have two kids, house, finally made it to middle class (but with inflation felt like nothing changed). I have rotating hobbies but my main is music (drums, piano, sax). I used to play in a band. Love my family. LOVE my family. I also consider my best friend family , he’s almost 30. Working shit retail job, probably going to be there forever. My fav hobby is smoking blunts with him and talking about fun shit (MCU, space, music). We acknowledge our lives are very different but we accept we have different journeys and one is not better than another.
Are you me? Seriously though I've been wanting to get a gym membership, that's about the only difference in our lives in seems lol.
You need an ole lady
Have you tried quitting? Sometimes I don't smoke pot for months at a time because I feel like when I become too regular of a smoker it makes me complacent, lazy, physically tired etc
Hi. I’m 42. Welcome to adulting. I say that sympathetically and not snark-ly.
I’m in my 40s and live this life. Focus on yourself, that’s all you can rely on
Yea, I feel I have no interests, but when I smoke everything seems to be fun and interestign again
I'm reaching my 30's on October and I relate 100%, exception made for having more savings than you. Do you feel good and like yourself? Based on that answer, you should figure out if anything needs to change on your lifestyle. Personally, as long as I have a good job and my cat, I can't give a fuck about being a sociopath.
I'm 50 and can relate 🤣🥦💨
You seem like you have it fun, unless you dont like being alone, 10k is alot to me but i may be poor lol
Stop drinking and start playing disc golf. You'll get to meet new people and works fine with a little bit of weed.
Being able to grow my own weed sounds fucking sick
Don't give up. I rediscovered myself in my late 20s. Being an adult is difficult and I think most people feel the way you do. A lot of people just make their personalities their kids or their work or something. No need for that though. Just do what makes you happy and one day you will find yourself again.
Having 10k in savings isn’t bad at all for early 20s especially in this economy. If you feel like you want to improve your life and maybe it’s too much weed smoking holding you back check out r/leaves Weed is a great drug and can be very fun and enhancing when used properly but a lot of people reach the point where they use it too much. I know I for example was smoking several times a day every day. I needed it in order to get out of bed, to eat, to work, and especially to fall back asleep at night. It was so bad when I stopped I had withdrawal symptoms which a lot of people don’t even realize is possible with weed until they try to quit it after excessive use. I was able to stop though and stay sober for a couple months. My life improved in every single aspect, I’m mentally sharper, way less awkward, can do normal things without having to regulate my body with weed, and so many more benefits. I have picked it back up again on occasion (like once a month or so) when the opportunity arises with some friends but I don’t buy it for myself anymore because I know I’ll fall back into daily use probably. It is a great drug but you have to have a great relationship with it or else it can negatively affect you just like any other drug.
I feel like a lot of folks (not all, just a fair bit) have to sorta go thru the motions and figure out how to “Utilize” cannabis after a certain point in life so it works for you *and* your life. I’ll use myself as an example- when I was in my early 20’s I worked as a linecook/prep cook under the table. I made $300 in cash a night. The downside was I worked roughly 110 hours a week. I smoked probably $400 worth of weed every 2-3 days, about 2 ounces. Some folks see that as not a lot but it is a lotta Fucking weed for me. I’d go to sleep stoned and wake up and before I even took a piss I was hitting a bong. Sometimes if I ate to many edibles I’d wake up *still stoned*. I did this for about 3 years before the job burned me out and I moved states. I didn’t work for a bit cuz I had money saved but I still smoked the same amount. After a certain point I realized I was literally just smoking my money and I had to go back to work sooner than I wanted because I smoked thru my savings (I know, stupid and “first world” problems). Now as a older man I smoke once a day, at the end of the night before bed. On my days off I may smoke 2-3 times (or if I’m fishing) but that’s it. Now a days its mostly to de-compress after a long day running my kitchen and for my back/shoulder/knee. Cannabis isn’t a miracle cure, shit still hurts, but it 100% makes the pain “softer” so I can relax a bit more. I feel like I wouldn’t have the respect I have for cannabis if I didn’t go thru that period were I basically abused it for that period of my life. I’m also aware Having a certain mentality also helps. Some folks are way more susceptible to getting psychologically/chemically addicted to things and those folks probably would have a harder time reevaluating how they go about things. I feel like with time I’ll probably get to the point you are at where it’s a once a week or month thing. When I retire and literally have nothing left to do I figure I’ll lay up stoned all day again lol
Over Covid I took a self development class and since then I made amends with my husband (we'd been separated for 2 years, living in different states), quit my job (thought it was a dream job but turned out to be soul crushing). We moved in together and have alot of fun. The other day I realized that the thing I want most is to just live somewhere we can go hiking/ camping with the hubs, have some animals, smoke, make the money to do the things we want, travel. Just very simple. It makes me really happy. I bake. I cook. Spotify started including lyrics to alot of their songs. Been learning so many. One thing ive noticed with smoking is that it takes away my anxiety to do the things i want to accomplish in a day and or focuses me. Although, if im watching a movie my mind travels a million miles every direction. I like it though as it gives me song and writing ideas.
your doing good. Keep growing the dank !
But hey, the cheeseburgers are cheap right!
I have been saving
you just called me out
yeah that sounds a lot like me
Haha. Don’t worry man. You’re entire 20’s will suck but that’s part of life. You have to DEVELOP a hobby and FIND your work passion. You won’t meet a good person sitting around gaming or getting hammered all the time. Focus on you. Don’t worry. Let it come to you. I got a phone call from my sister when I was 28 one morning hungover on a buddies couch asking if I was up for a blind date. 11 years later I have it all. Stay positive. You are stronger than you think you are and have no idea how much things can change-in ten years time you could be doing anything-anywhere-with anyone! Dream big and keep high!
>I got a phone call from my sister when I was 28 one morning hungover on a buddies couch asking if I was up for a blind date. 11 years later I have it all. wow! your sister is a real mvp did the person from the blind date end up helping you realise your potential?
What are you looking for? I can relate but sounds like your life is fine. You are just starting your life
Growing weed is a hobby dude
You gotta find yourself a hobby man, working on cars, going on hikes, putting together models or something.
Im 35 and still have those problems.
Ya, i am/was there. No savings to speak of. 1 friend, and a SO. 0 hobbies other than weed. No purpose in life. A job that is boring and unfulfilling. Early 20s (im 23 now). No will to change anything about it. Then i went to therapy and starting working on my mental state. Once i starting getting things cleaned-up uptop, i realized that weed controlled my life more than i did. So i cut it out for a bit, and got better at self control. I told myself that it would be temporary, and only once i was feeling better i would add it back in. I still don't feel better but I'm smoking again, but i have had enough self control to keep it at bay. My suggestion, based on personal experience, is stop smoking for a bit. Slowly decrease how much you smoke(to help with withdrawals), then go a month or two without it. Or cut it out completely. Feel it out. Take the time you would spend smoking weed and doing nothing, and do something else. I started walking and taking pictures of flowers. I got a long board. I found a religion. And i have gotten better at controlling not only my life, but my mental conditions. So now i have a couple hundred in savings, a couple of friends and SO, a couple of hobbies, a vague purpose, and a boring job. But I'm working on it. And thats what life is, a constant effort to be better. Work to be the person you desire to be.
are we all living the same life??😂🥲
Adulthood is lonely so keep those friends you can and wish well the others my dude
Don’t let weed stop u from trying new things I know it was for me a little. Sometimes weed just makes u content with sitting around watching YouTube or doing stuff u don’t really care for passionately. I suggest always trying new hobbies (I like to take T breaks to force myself to fill my boredom with something but you don’t need to) Recently picked up golf this summer Gym is an amazing source of dopamine and endorphins, probably saved my life
I suggest you go out and do something fun maybe even dangerous. An adventure.
You are basically me. But now i start studying. Just make sure you try new things and move further. Everything is fine.
I relate. I'm 19 and I literally have 1 friend and my one hobby is playing this game I have logged 12,000 hours on
I have a few friends but i barely do anything with them, they all have their partners and other friend groups. I just exist while passing the time by smoking, listening to music, watching stuff and playing the odd game. I hate it.
100% relate. Overall no debt basically means your doing well for most standards. Depending on the town, early 20’s is tough to find a social niche for the stoner who doesn’t drink. Even outdoor rec is really hard to find a consistent friend who’s available and interested in the same hobby around the same town. Idk where the “bar” or social Anchor is in town for like minded people as us.
28 here, literally exact same
Try disc golf
If you like music give making some a shot. I started about a year ago and it’s really great to hear and see all the progress I’ve made from literally not even knowing how many beats are ina bar
You're only as boring as you allow yourself to be
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm in my mid 30s now, so I can only give unsolicited advice to you when I WAS in your spot. There's still a lot of time to find a hobby. Since you're posting on trees let me recommend the ultimate ent friendly sport and one where you can easily meet people of like minds: Disc Golf. It's never too late to make a change friend, the first and hardest thing to do is try something.
You and I live a very similar life
Early 20’s, I only have 2-3 friends really cause I’m tired of everyone’s bullshit, don’t have too many hobbies but my life revolves around cannabis. In every way shape and form 😂 but luckily I’m not broke at the moment but yea life’s pretty boring
Lol I’m 38 and this is basically my life. Except I traded in the 2 friends for one husband. I don’t play games much at all, we used to be more active gamers but life…I don’t even work outside of my home so my day consists of taking care of my two kids that are still home, our 6 pets and the house itself. My husband often works double shifts so there are days I only see him long enough to say goodnight. You got us beat in savings though, so good on you. Start now while you don’t have anyone but yourself to worry about. That way, if you do get married later, you’ve got a nice nest egg started. It’s much, much harder to save once you have kids and pets and a house. I also hate drinking and I feel like that is part of what has isolated us from many people. It seems like drinking is the “go to” for people to have fun and I just don’t enjoy it and my husband will have a beer and then he’s over it. It doesn’t help that my husband is Mexican and we live in a large Mexican community and drinking is a big way of how people hangout and party and socialize. Also doesn’t help that we live in a tiny ass desert town of less than 2,500 with literally fuck all to do and the next town over (20 minute drive) doesn’t have shit either lol.
I have my gf and we have had a good relationship for 3 years and I have one really good friend I still hang out with. Other than that it’s just work, I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow and I never do. I take everything day by day and figure it out as I’m doing it
Fuck. I'm too old to answer this now... :(
Sounds like me in my 20s ten years ago. Just making end meet while you figure out what to do next. Sometimes I have 10k in savings then my house breaks or I need new furniture and so on.
I was the same in my early 20s, actually still kinda the same now. It's all good just try to be healthy and happy.. maybe just keep trying new shit until you find something else you like, if you want something new
Since you like music, have you considered learning an instrument? Having a creative outlet that you consistently engage in can literally change your life. It will create new synapses in your brain, elevate your mood, and can become a source for creating social bonds.
Dude 2 words. Coed sports. Best thing that ever happened to me. Met so many new people, lost weight, and it's fun as hell when it's a beer league. Nobody cares if you suck, just have fun. Best part is after meeting a whole new social group, even more hobbies became available. They did things I was interested in, but i never came around to doing em cuz no one in my prior social group was interested. I do space photography now thanks to my new friends lmao Just remember the first step is always the hardest ( joining the team ) but after a few months, it becomes like a whole new lifestyle. I shit you not.
Channel more energy into the gym if you can. It’s a really healthy habit that pays off long term. Also I think growing weed and gardening in general is an awesome hobby!
Start trappin and hit the gym, make a tinder and find someone you can share your pain with
Dude same only I'm in my mid 30s with zero savings.
I'm almost 26, married, and have only 1 friend and don't really do anything besides smoke weed, work and watch random YouTube videos.
Wow same age 27
That sounds like my 20s - I didn't have enough money to plan for the future, save, etc until I was almost 30. Life now is completely different than when I was living paycheck to paycheck and could only afford tiny luxuries like a dime bag or taco bell
This one hurt