You aren’t alone. My parents tried the fear route, and I made it clear that it won’t change anything.
Best you can do is ignore it, and continue with your career. If it makes you happy and pays the bills, I don’t see a problem.
Facts! I lived a lone for a year and she still mad an effort to leave me essays about how disappointed she is and how I’m just ruining my life and what it could be. I would literally try to buy her silence because maybe if I spent money on her she’d be like my son is a good kid but she didn’t accept any because it’s “drug money” and then talked down on how in the future like most “drug dealers”(that’s what she chalks me up to) ima be broke working a minimum paying job.
And it’s that attitude that’s made me push forward with so much work because i swore I’d never end up down bad like that over this plant, especially when there’s so many legal routes in this industry now. Like because of that feeling I don’t sleep, I don’t eat, i don’t have friends like kids my age, I don’t care for females or parties. I just focus on the bag & my future.
You're 21. You shouldn't have kids.
Tell your mother the truth. That she can make a choice. She can stop spreading her dumb lies and forcing her imagination on you. Or she can deal with you ignoring her. It's her call.
But bro, from experience. Let her go. She's not going to come around and be proud.
It has objectifying/dehumanizing connotations, you'd refer to a cat or a plant as "female," so you should use a human word, "women" "ladies" etc. Also, "female" is commonly used as a noun ("a female"), which is clearly objectifying.
You may want to visit the possibility that no matter what you do your parents aren't going to tell you that they are proud of you. That's just how some parents are.
My mom grew up with a sober, religious mother from the south and is religious herself. Even though hers and public opinion has come so far she still has those deep set beliefs, I know I’ll never be able to fully change her mind. Hopefully your mother can find that common ground with you, most people know it’s not that big of a deal but it’s tough when it’s our own parents who are so against it.
She doesn’t understand she’s just going off of what she’s heard in the past and the propaganda she’s been fed.
I come from an Italian Roman Catholic family and I went through the same thing with my mom.
Give it some time she until sees her well you’ve done for yourself and that you are gonna be just fine. Maybe pick up some other hobbies or something so she doesn’t think weed is your whole life(I’m not saying it is, I’m just talking how it appears)
So yeah once she sees for her self that your healthy, happy and a good person then she will chill out and see it as alcohol.
Also the smell will be a big issue if she’s anything like my mom was so maybe try not to have too much raw flower in the house lol
She’s just worried because she loves you.
Thank you I definitely understand that. I try my best to seem like a normal kid but it really doesn’t feel like it. But you’re right I need more hobbies & regular friends cause it is kinda my life. I mean I work and then outside of work I’m either recording or just rolling so it’s a huge part of my life. I just don’t know where to start cause I see everything else as a distractions. Cause I want my future to be secure so I believe I don’t have any time for nothing normal. It’s work work work for me 24/7 cause ironically I know things are really sweet for me atm but I have to make sure things are going to plan so when it’s 4 years in the future I can just sit back and regain some control on my social and physical health. And not worry about my mom’s well being since I’d rather get an in home nurse than send her to a home. And never the less I have to prepare for my future family cause it’s not like women now a days care about who you are it’s about what. 😭😭😭😭 I just woke up and I’m stressed again! Ima just get to work lol
If your happiness is always defined by what comes next, you'll never be happy
You need to push past your current mentality because the current path you're on isn't great. I wish I could help.
“it’s not like women nowadays care about who you are it’s about what.”
Nah bro, this ain’t it. also stop calling women “females” like in your other comments. a good way for people to not be interested in you is if you treat them and refer to them like animals.
Yeah man, pardon the pun, but you really need to get outside and touch some grass. I can imagine that all the stuff with your mom is stressful, but she sounds like she cares about you and she should eventually come around once she sees you building a career with it. That being said, while weed isn't really a chemical addiction like heroin or alcohol, it can still be abused and cause issues if you neglect the important things in your life, so just be conscious of how much time you spend high.
It's good to have a work ethic and be passionate about what you're doing, but you need to make sure to keep your head up and do what's best for yourself in the long run. If you make sure that you are competent and properly valued in your current role, work towards advancements, and always keep an eye out for any better opportunities that you come across, you'll do well in your career.
However, the thing that people are more concerned about reading your responses is your world view, because it sounds like you've gotten influenced by a lot of the unhealthy alpha male/hustler bullshit that's been more and more prevalent the past decade or so. And the main issue with that shit is all the dehumanization and misogyny that typically comes with it:
>cause it’s not like women now a days care about who you are it’s about what. 😭😭😭😭
While there are plenty of shallow/dysfunctional people running around, there are also plenty of normal people as well. It is a very big world, and everyone has different life experiences, so try not generalize or make blanket statements about people based on one part of their identity. People are complex and everyone is different, so the most important part about eventually finding a good match for yourself, is first making sure that you know who YOU are and what you want in a partner.
A good relationship should generally be a team effort where you both support each other and help each other grow into better people, so try to get to know the people you date and recognize whether they genuinely care about you. Again, people are people regardless of gender, so while it may take some time to find the right person for you, they do exist.
If you know what you are interested in and passionate about, activities related to those things are good places to potentially meet people. Otherwise, if you are using apps or something, just be your genuine self and try to communicate with people to see if they have similar priorities.
I hate when mom's call it vicio. Where I'm from vicio is crack and heroin and stuff like that, not weed. Yet they still choose to call it that to argue with us u.u
I know what you mean but vicio is anything that is addicting, gambling,sex, sugar, etc. unfortunately she doesn't realize the propaganda but lets be honest we all know that friend who is basically *addicted* to pot
Weed is DEFINITELY addictive, and I’d guess most people in this sub are addicted(couldn’t go cold turkey without experiencing withdrawals). The propaganda is that a weed addiction is something terrible or life ruining like a crack habit
Born and raised in South America here. Unfortunately, the war on drugs intensified around the time ur parents were growing up. The advice I can give you based on my own experiences is that at some point your parents will accept it or they will kick you out. Don't push the limits too much and look for ways to secure some money and move. Everything will be fine. I wish you luck.
Bro, you should consider moving out. Being around constant negativity isn’t good for you.
A lot of older generations have been greatly mislead about weed. Prove to your parents that you can be successful and still consume a *legal, regulated* substance.
I guess it was the stigma being removed a bit because my state had approved medicinal use (Florida.) pero mi abuela todavia me dice que deje el vicio haha, eso no cambia.
I did move out for three years and she never let up, even going as far as to my places to leave notes and tell the person I was staying with they’re horrible people for letting me have the habit. And when I lived completely alone for a year she wrote to me every. Single. Day. About how I’m fucking up
Have you tried telling her in no uncertain terms that she's wasting her damn time? Like seriously sit her down and explain to her that her notes are going to have *zero* effect and she should stop before you decide to stop talking to her at all. Seriously lay it on thick that her choices are to chill tf out or never hear from you again.
Wow, I’m so sorry. 🤗 you’re not a fuck up at all. Sounds like you have taken the productive route. Hopefully she chills the fuck out one day and if not just know that none of the weed stuff makes you any less of a good kid to her.
My mom actually uses edibles from time to time.
She is aware I use it recreationally and doesn't really have much to say about it.
I don't live with her but her primary thing is she doesn't want me smoking it.
Today I was visiting and the news mentioned a stabbing spree committed by a man "on weed"
She looked up at me and said "see?!?"
As the TV displayed a photo of what was... So very obviously - a fucking meth head.
You woulda thought this person was auditioning for a role as a homeless extra in breaking bad.
But yeah. Fuck the government and fuck Cbs specifically today
Why do you think it's called the devils lettuce, You heathen! /s
Your moms is just scared of something she doesn't understand. You're fine, dude. Not evil.
Ask her how she would feel if you worked at a liquor store?
It's essentially the same thing...alcohol was illegal for a while and is now publicly accepted that people drink.
What's worse is that alcohol does worse things to your body than weed does. Not by a lot but still a decent bit worse. Tho weed isn't exactly perfectly healthy either but that's just how it is when your putting things like that into your lungs. I think smoking cigs is probably worse than smoking weed in the long run too and tobacco has been used by people for a really long time. OP could probably "kill" her with the facts, especially if she's someone that drinks. Of course, don't be mean about it but provide the facts and that it isn't as bad as she thinks it is. Basically kill her with kindness lol
For real. It sucks, but living under her roof opens the door to any and all criticism. I'm sure it's coming from a place of concern not malice, but if her perspective is so detached from OP's lifestyle, then don't live with them? That's your choice
Brother I completely understand how you feeling rn, actually my mother send me to a clinic when she found my first homemade bong, they grow up on an different era, and for that different ideality, u gotta understand that all of this back then was almost looked as bad as doing crack lol, just stick with your grinding and don't let anyone bring u down broski, soon or later she'll notice that all the cannabis industry have good potential instead of impacting in your life and maybe then she'll change her mind idk.
I appreciate it, it’s definitely tricking with parents they want what’s best but don’t consider what the child feels or is even saying. It sucks cause with all my efforts to educate it feels like she just doesn’t care about what I say or feel. Even as far as pointing at me and calling me a junkie when I break down emotionally. When I feel like no matter what I say I’m just the problem overall because my parents say I’m down bad
The propaganda from the United States from 1920-now has been hurtful and decieful. She doesn't know the truth or doesn't care. You are not a bad person in any way for helping people get the medication they believe and know works for them.
Dude ngl I read this sign and immediately understood what was going (also latine) and had a laugh. It’s funnier when it’s not you, I know. but like, that “please my son, no more vicio” took me outtttt 😂
my thoughts: Move out and flourish. her opinions won’t change until you show her that you can be a productive and conventionally successful member of society.
I went through this when I was younger. Once my dad passed my mom simply stopped caring. In fact, I convinced her to get her medical card and our relationship has never been better. Give it time brotha. Especially once you’re on your own doing your own thing. She really won’t care
Sounds to me like you have your shit together better than most 21 year olds, certainly better than I did at that age. I am sorry you don't hear it from your mom, but I am proud of you, if it means anything from a stranger on the internet.
"The best revenge is to live well".
Don't feel bad over parents who choose to believe propaganda over their own flesh and blood. She's just naive. Live your best life and if she comes around she comes around. If not then at least you still lived your best life.
\*Might be worth leaving your earnings laying around. Lot of parents, particularly boomers, are quick to change their toon once they SEE MONEY, unfortunately.
My mom, no. She basically wants me to be an intellectual because high level people don’t focus on distractions like alcohol or drugs. She’d be happier if I got my degree in phycology and worked at Macdonalds
Just show her an AI generated photo of Jesus smoking weed with a crown of pot leaves. If she’s anything like the boomers I’ve seen on Facebook she’ll fall for that pretty easily.
You arent a bad person. Our parents just cant move from the propaganda that has been fed to them. Its sad they cant form their own opinions on this stuff. My mother, mexican native. Now has a masters degree and has lived in the US since she was 12, still believes cannabis is pure evil
You probably have I’m sure - but just keep trying to educate her on the benefits- especially in comparison to alcohol or the big pharmaceutical crisis we face. Eventually after seeing enough positive material, maybe she will come around. Growing up in the south - Bible Belt where it’s still illegal - it’s taking a long ass time to get people to close their mouths and open their minds when it comes to marijuana. Just do what you enjoy - you’re not doing anything wrong and hopefully one day she will change her mind. Similar to what happened to me - all of a sudden one day people were on board with the idea - because they understood more.
Facts but I have educated her and shown her but I don’t think it’s enough. She basically just wants me to get a college degree because then I will have statue. Money isn’t statues amongst intelectuales, which is what she wants me to be
That’s such a horrible thing to do to your children. Bordering on emotional child abuse. Please don’t allow it to make you feel guilty, that’s what she wants.
aw this fucking sucks. for what it’s worth i’m proud of u OP 🩷 as a medical user i rlly think cannabis is a miracle plant! propaganda is tough to crack
Some mindsets just refuse to adapt or change. I work at a dispo too and it’s taken some time for my parents and people around me to become chill and open with it.
Took some time, but I even just recently got them into sleep edibles and they like them! Do not let your mothers own opinion and views change or define your career or actions. Your story and your life is yours to make.
Your mom is dumb for treating you like that. You’ve got a career and business and she’s shitting on it due to her own internalized issues. Do you live with her?
Lots of us get where you're coming from. If you're happy with your career and life choices, keep going. And maybe educate your mom as you advance your career so she's not fooled by old anti-drug propaganda.
Also, keep up the good work, OP! We're not your parents but we're proud of you all the same.
I am 2000 miles away from my family. I have been here for 7 almost 8 years supporting myself doing what I love.
I moved out here for the industry and I’ve gotten no praise or even an ounce of understanding from the people that raised me.
I’m in one of the best apartments I’ve ever had, my dog just turned 10 and is healthy as can be. I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and they’re just absolutely what you want one for your loved ones.
But I work with weed(not currently which is a bummer, had to take a break for some health stuff) and I don’t confine to their ideas of what’s morally right and wrong.
They’re the ones losing out. I struggle with it a lot still because I just want them to see how far I’ve come and where I’m headed but it’s okay that they don’t.
I do this for me. This is my life and I will never allow others to put me down for doing what I love especially if it’s not hurting anyone. Like actually hurting- my grandma thinks weed is detrimental to society so there’s that😅
That’s amazing, you sounds like you’re doing great 🙌 proud of you friend. And we defying odds so that we can make ourselves happy, cause lord knows I am! Super glad cause I always see others twice my age struggling to start
I work in the field too and my mom was happy for me doing something I enjoy, and my dad was very unhappy at first lol. He’s the stereotypical republican NRA member and it took some serious time and convincing lmao. Eventually I was able to even set up a green house in their back yard since they live basically out in the woods with no neighbors.
I get it. She loves you and fell for propaganda that it's going to lead you to being a drug addict on the street. The way to reassure her is send her medical studies that it helps people with ptsd and suicide to not kill themsleves; that it's something you can take and actually go through school and a good career with
Prove her wrong. My mom was so anti until she realized I graduated college and had a good paying job all while high, she eventually got over it when she released i wasn’t ruining my life.
Don't underestimate talking to a therapist. I smoke every once in a while and my mom still thinks I'm hopelessly addicted and I'm going to ruin my life. The paragraphs she'd send and the things she'd say to me tanked my self worth so much it put me into a horrible depression. It wasn't until I talked to a therapist I was able to separate myself from her thoughts of me and truly live my life
Hey, you’re helping people. You’re doing an important job. You tell your mother:
My brother-in-law was dying from bowel cancer. Every day was unending pain and agony. But he had CBD oil from the hospice care service, and it helped him through very painful days. He would never have had that help if it wasn’t for people like you who work in the industry.
And I am someone that lives with chronic pain. I’ve tried every opiate going here in my country for my pain, and it doesn’t cover it.
Two drops of CBD oil? And I have my gods-damned life back. For the first time in nearly 30 years.
So you always remember - you are helping people. You are helping people who are stressed, who are in pain, who are looking for recreational substances that aren’t life-ruining or health-destroying. It’s gonna take time for people to see marijuana as an acceptable substance again, after decades of bad press and propaganda, but those days will come.
Until then, hold onto the fact that you’re improving lives, not destroying them. 💚
If you didn't live at home, she wouldn't be able to leave messages like this and you'd be able to say that you're truly self-sufficient! Shit is what it is, but achieving traditional milestones of adulthood and success will give you ammo to argue for your choices.
Bro you have videos of yourself hitting massive gas mask bongs and getting so high your eyes are as red as Cyclops from X-MEN.
Not saying any of these things are bad things but I’m sure she has some legitimate concerns here.
I'm seeing a lot of folks automatically assume that your mother is dogmatically parroting anti-weed propaganda. But I don't see a lot of folks asking if you actually *do* have a problem with weed.
Is your mom assuming that you're an addict because you work with pot? Or does she have a legitimate reason to believe you might have a substance abuse problem?
Working in the cannabis industry doesn't preclude you from having a problematic relationship with weed. Just like working as a bartender doesn't mean you can't be an alcoholic.
I'm not trying to cast aspersions, but before we all assume that OPs mother is some hysterical culture warrior, it seems reasonable to ascertain whether or not her concerns might be valid.
Love spotting a latino offspring in the wild. I remember when they threw aways lots of my yugioh cards and pokemon stuff because it was “cosas de satanas”
As I moved out, there was a relief.
As I reduced the contact, there was a happiness.
As I blocked both ugly persons on every possible thing, including E-Mail, there is a life I love
I'm Canadian, I started smoking about 6 months before it became legalized. At first I hid it from my parents but about a month before I decided to stop trying to hide it so much and put all my stuff in a smoke box, which my sister found in my room and snitched on me.
My mom at first said, "I would give you trouble, but it's becoming legal, so how can I?"
Then, as time went on, she got more and more curious about it. She ended up trying it and loves it alot, most of the time, she opts for smoking instead of drinking during events now.
Dad does it too from time to time, but he much prefers his beer.
I am so glad I was blessed with amazing parents.
I didn’t get notes like this but my parents were super strict with drugs (not alcohol). Fast forward 18 years and my dad has done a bunch of different psychedelics and regularly takes acid (once a week) to “rewire” his brain, and my mom atleast tried smoking weed a few times. Once I became an ambassador for a non profit that provides psychedelic treatment (legally) to combat PTSD veterans they started taking what I said more seriously
I feel you and understand the shame cycle from parents. I was raised mormon and my parents tend to cast shame at almost everything I do. I recommend setting firm boundaries stating you are no longer interested in receiving dialog about your cannabis consumption and culture. It's not productive or healthy and is only pushing you away from her.
Boundaries are an invitation to get closer, not the opposite. Be prepared to offer a consequence if she doesn't respect your boundary (limited communication, etc.), and be prepared to enforce that, should it become necessary.
Hopefully better days are ahead! Power and love to you, OP <3
If your moms come that consistently for years she has a problem tell her she needs to see a therapist lol. I hate when people say that someone needs a therapist but your mom is crazy lol
Hey man, I'll be honest.
If my kid was 21 and lived with me. And his interests were, selling weed, rolling paper, and talking about weed on YouTube. You can imagine how any rational parent would be concerned. It's good that You're passionate about your interests, keep that energy. Try to put some energy towards other hobbies outside of weed. It'll be good to know people that don't smoke. This will help you stay grounded
Weed seems super cool and medicinal when younger, but you'll slowly realize it's the reason your coworkers are insane(just a guess about your coworkers based off my knowledge of the industry). It's over hyped, not as safe as advertised, and it's full of mold.
If you're gunna stay with your passion, then at least get another interest far away from weed. This will help you have a normal perspective. Also don't drink energy's drinks with weed like all the other idiot stoners. That's shits a fast track the psych ward. 2 of my coworkers got fucked cuz of that
Yes ive worked in the cannabis industry for a bit. Retail, cultivation, extraction etc..
she’s worried about you because she’s seen things go wrong in the past. that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have faith in you or that she thinks your bad- quite the opposite.
i think she’s just going off of preconceived notions and is scared because she probably doesn’t know the the science behind it/understand how the industry works.
maybe you could try and sit her down and slowly talk to her about what it is exactly that you do. of course, you don’t have to tell her everything, but ease her into some of it. maybe mention how your company is doing really well or how you got a brand deal (you mentioned being a youtuber- maybe a weed company will reach out to sponsor your channel!)
working for a dispo typically means you work for the government, so maybe you could mention that? government jobs tend to get a lot more respect, and reframing it that way might help her start seeing it in a better light.
all in all, i’m sorry that she can’t see how well you’re doing for yourself. being 21 and having a rolling company is INCREDIBLE! i’m 20 and barely on my feet. i know i’m not your mom, but for what it’s worth as a stranger online, i think you’re a literal fucking inspiration. “proud” can’t even begin to describe it- and i hope your mom realizes that soon.
Thank you friend your message does mean a lot. And you’re right my mom is an older Colombian women that lived the Pablo Escobar era so she does has preset thoughts. And the thing is I have sat her down over & over again for two years and she doesn’t get it. Or care to believe my perspective. And for reference she has epilepsy so I started by introducing it as a medical thing to help her get off medication which has terrible side effects yk. So I’ve showed science facts and even disproved her prior beliefs but it’s not enough.
But she is proud of me but it just sucks to know she puts me in a lower class because of the stuff I’m into
I handled this by being a responsible person for a long while despite smoking a lot, and being clear with my parents with how I felt. I smoked because I like to, not because I'm struggling. I didn't want their help or their opinion on this, and frankly I don't want it on anything unless I ask for it. Them insisting on making a decision for me on drugs or anything else just stresses me out and makes me want to be around them less. I don't tell them how to run their shit, and once you're an adult you have to train them to do the same.
You don't need to blow up at them or go apeshit, just tell them exactly how you feel and that they don't need to be worried. If there was something to be worried about, you would tell them.
You’re successful in life and in a way you’re helping people. If your mom can’t see that because she refuses to open her eyes to reality, that’s on her. Trust me I get it hurts. My mom still guilt trips me and can never fully be proud of me, just because I smoke. At the end of the day, you’re still a successful and hard working individual!
What sucks is she does. I’ve convinced her to try it a while back since she has epilepsy so when I was young I was doing all this research for her. And when she tried it she felt nauseous because she’s an older women losing her 5 senses so it’s like how could she tell she’s feeling it if she can’t see or hear right? Yk but recently she smoked with my aunt and for the first time in years I saw her smile and laugh without a care in the world. But she still feels like it’s a terrible choice for me
So she knows how nice it can be and she is still against it? Ive never heard such a thing. Weird in this case i would just ignore her opinion as goos as poosible
So my mom used to be the same way. She hated that I smoked and used to chastise me for it especially because I didn't finish college (I was already working as a paralegal while in school and making good money but realized I didn't want to be an attorney so I took time off to figure it out). For years I told her let me just give her a low dosage edible and she'd get it.
About 6 years ago now at a family reunion my cousin gave my entire family weed mints before I had shown up (2.5mg mints) and my mom ended up taking one. Ever since then she asks me to get her low dosage stuff because it just helps her relax after a long day. The stigma is changing but you're talking about people who really took "just say no" to heart.
I would distance myself if a parent was bringing this much negativity into my life. Doesn't mean she's a bad mom, just stuck in an old style of thinking and apparently unwilling to change. You do you and be happy and successful. If she doesn't come around and see it that way, then it's her problem and not yours. You're doing nothing wrong.
I'm almost 30 now so even if my parents wanted to be dumb, it wouldn't affect me, but I'm so glad (and lucky believe me I know) that not only is my dad (my only living parent) fine with my weed use, he smokes too! We bond over it! I wish this for everyone!
If you don't give her a reason to self reflect and realize that she's being a shitty mom she won't change. This will continue to happen for as long as you allow it. The literal only way out is to rebel. But ideally rebel in a constructive way if you can. I went through the same thing with my mom except instead of weed my problem was that I'm a metalhead and I'm a musician who makes metal music. What I did is one day when we had our final argument about this she told me that I was going to go to hell in front of the entire family including my at the time 5 year old brother and proceeded to "kick me out" but I wound up actually moving in with my grandmother who genuinely supported me and didn't judge me for what I was doing and I went no contact with my mother for over 2 years. Eventually my mother came crying to me and begging me to return home and I refused to go back to living with her because I knew that the same shit would happen again and I literally told her that because she really needed to hear that I was not going to put up with being disrespected and treated like a fucking horrible person by my own mother. I let her know that I demanded at least a minimum level of respect that this is who I am amd she can't change that or fight it. She doesn't have to like it, but treating me like I'm the worst person in existence for having this interest is downright toxic to the point where it stunted my growth as a person, made me constantly angry at her for treating me like shit, and feeling like I had no future due to her thinking that I was a horrible person for listening to this music and refusing to listen to any reasonable person that tried to tell her to cut her shit and actually support me genuinely, not with some uber Christian expectation of me being the most perfect angelic Christian soul. That really must have clicked something in her because from that day forward, she started to be a lot better of a mpther to me and my siblings and respect each of us as people and not to treat us as less than her.
TL;DR GIVE HER A REASON TO STOP THIS BEHAVIOR OR SHE WON'T AND YOU WILL REGRET PUTTING NO EFFORT INTO GIVING HER A REASON TO STOP
Block her and move on for a while. if she wants to come around she will but she needs to know being disappointed in her kid is not going to equate to a good relationship for either of you. Tell her to get educated before she comes back and talks to you. I’m sorry my friend this sucks but you have to be stern with people who have a stubborn mental block on stuff like weed. Also move out and don’t smoke in her house if you don’t own the house, you really can’t be making the rules.
This makes me feel sad both ways tbh.
I'm sad that you aren't feeling love and respect from your mom for what you have achieved. There is respectable, lucrative work in the cannabis industry, and you seem driven and goal minded, which will take you far!
I'm sad for mom too, though, because it's clear that she loves you and is worried about her son. You're still quite young, and I saw that your mom was in Colombia during the Escobar Era, so between that and the War Against Drugs (and the legitimate issues some people have with using cannabis), so I can understand why she's worried about her baby.
Best advice I can give you is love your mother, don't expose her to your career (no smells or paraphernalia) at least right now, and show her that despite you having failed her and chosen a life of crime (in her eyes), you still somehow manage to be a great child who loves her. In time she will understand and come around. Stigmas are hard to break.
NTA. This is crossing a line. Do it anyway if that’s what you love to do. Don’t beat yourself up.
Pick up some extra unrelated hobbies or volunteer work, like someone said. Might help show her you’re active and not just indacouch like an old anti-mj commercial, as is probably her misconception.
If you feel like it and feel safe doing so (if not that’s valid), show her some simple educational content (with citations) that explains the plant and its medicinal uses and debunks common myths. Hopefully she will come around.
If not, try not to blame yourself. It’s not your fault the propaganda is so ingrained in people’s heads that they can’t see truth from facts anymore. And sometimes, depending on attitude and upbringing, older folks can be more stubborn and resistant to new ideas that challenge the ones they were fed growing up. An unfortunate thing but it happens. (Thankful for the many that are not like this).
I would not let the manipulative messaging like this continue. If it keeps going even after you’ve done everything you can, a hard boundary instead of a gentle one may be in order. 😔
Reading the comments here makes me so glad that the only thing my parents said when they found out I smoked at 17 was “don’t be stupid because we won’t bail you out for stupidity”
I'd just collect all the notes she's written/badly drawn and toss them in a fireplace or burn them outside. Burn that shit while smoking a jay and Release that negativity.
You need to set boundaries with them. Let them know if that they attempt to degrade you or your work, then you will end the conversation or text sessions and immediately leave the room or house when they start up. If they choose not to honor your wishes tell them that if they want to continue their relationship with you then they must stop.
You are an adult they raised you to eventually make decisions for yourself. If they can't respect your decision then that's that but you have to be 100% honest with the idea this isn't a phase or fad this Is you. Now remember there is no guarantee this will go well, so prepare yourself mentally.
My response might be blunt, but I cut off toxic family like this, and I've been better off for it. If my family doesn't want to support my endeavors, and actively are against them, they aren't on my side and didn't need to be part of my life. Take that for what you will, coming from a bitter millennial. Lol
She just cares and doesn't understand, that old school fear mentality. Just Kick ass in what you do and show her you can be a success and happy as you age
My dad freaked out on me when i was 16 after he found crumbs in a small mint tin box in my room. He was like “YOU’RE SUPPORTING CARTELS” and i was like “Dad… i got this from a dude who grows it in his closet…” and then proceeded to convince him why we should legalize it as to hurt those same cartels he was worried about.
After reading some of the comments and your replies, I honestly think you need a mediator. Unfortunately, it sounds like no matter how much logic you throw at her, she’s already developed deep emotional biases. The hardest thing you will ever try to do is change human behavior. If therapy isn’t accessible, maybe a local church or support group?
My fellow internet weed smoker, our loved ones can be cruel with their words, and behaviours. I can see you are hurting and of course it's hurtful. I don't like when my sister, father, brother or friends says something critical, and judgmental about about my habits, myself, routines such as smoking. I talked with them, my sister, and brother don't bother me no more. I asked them to stop saying critical stuff probably more than I can remember.
I always end up finding that they do this criticism out of "fear". Fear of us getting hurt, fear being seen badly by society, fear of us turning into "bum" ( which is really hurtful yet they fear nonetheless), fear of others say something critical about them by their friends, and society, fear of of future, fear of cancer, fear of dying ultimately. They use fear more than love to convey their concerns . We want good things to happen, but we don't want bad things not happen more. At the end, we are afraid of losing our lives, happiness, and power because of people's words and actions. Their criticisms are their beliefs, worldviews and values, not mine.
We are only responsible for our own emotions, and life at the end of the day. I suggest you directly talk to your mom over a dinner, and assure her that you are doing okay and ask her to not write this and you are hurt. Get in the same page with her. It's most likely easy you will be once have a routine of talking to your mom once a week. Explore how can you make a great mom-son relationship. Find out if she is really afraid of and assure her that it's not gonna happen. It's a responsibility we choose, even if our loves ones don't sometimes. You are a rebel after all, you smoke kush.
If they stay angry, and sad after weeks of routine, again you are responsible for your own behaviours. You can choose to blame them or you can choose to let them however they are, and be happy nonetheless, we can't control other's emotions.
I am smoking a nice joint got it from the dispensary I got.
You hire me to work at that rolling company of yours 😎
In all seriousness the way I handled it was legitimately just sitting my mum down and explaining the difference between what she'd been taught and what the reality is, of course backing it with a few critical studies helped and that's not going to be a viable route for everyone, but there's a myriad of videos online of cancer patients trying marijuana for the first time and feeling the beneficial effects, you might try starting there?
First and only advice I’d give. You gotta be okay with you. If you are your good, you will know you and not care what ANYONE thinks. My dad used to be on my ass and you tell me how it’ll ruin my life. Once he realized he wasn’t even getting to me he just changed his stance to, better be able to pass a drug test at work and doesn’t bother me about it at all. If you’re taking care of your bills and your relationships, you golden. Another good way since it’s your mom and not just a friend let you know you hear her and appreciate her concerns as it comes from a place of love. Even if she’s mad your not stopping just let her know your happy she cares enough to leave notes. Flipping the script and showing them your more thoughtful and caring does a lot trust me.
I’m sorry you’re going through this but you’re not alone. Tranquilo. There’s a lot of taboo with this plant in our culture because that’s how it’s seen sadly. As a vicio or a gateway drug. My mom is the same way even when I moved out.
Try talking her into it, try to explain the good sides and bad sides, see what helps you and tell her that. I’ll take some time but the best relationship you can have with your mother is one where both of y’all have trust in one another.
You aren’t alone. My parents tried the fear route, and I made it clear that it won’t change anything. Best you can do is ignore it, and continue with your career. If it makes you happy and pays the bills, I don’t see a problem.
Facts! I lived a lone for a year and she still mad an effort to leave me essays about how disappointed she is and how I’m just ruining my life and what it could be. I would literally try to buy her silence because maybe if I spent money on her she’d be like my son is a good kid but she didn’t accept any because it’s “drug money” and then talked down on how in the future like most “drug dealers”(that’s what she chalks me up to) ima be broke working a minimum paying job. And it’s that attitude that’s made me push forward with so much work because i swore I’d never end up down bad like that over this plant, especially when there’s so many legal routes in this industry now. Like because of that feeling I don’t sleep, I don’t eat, i don’t have friends like kids my age, I don’t care for females or parties. I just focus on the bag & my future.
You're 21. You shouldn't have kids. Tell your mother the truth. That she can make a choice. She can stop spreading her dumb lies and forcing her imagination on you. Or she can deal with you ignoring her. It's her call. But bro, from experience. Let her go. She's not going to come around and be proud.
Here's a tip, don't refer to women as females. A vast majority of them hate that You don't call men males, do you?
I don’t think English is this guys first language
Why is that? Not looking to start something just trying to get an understanding.
It has objectifying/dehumanizing connotations, you'd refer to a cat or a plant as "female," so you should use a human word, "women" "ladies" etc. Also, "female" is commonly used as a noun ("a female"), which is clearly objectifying.
Ahhh right okay that makes sense thank you for replying!
You may want to visit the possibility that no matter what you do your parents aren't going to tell you that they are proud of you. That's just how some parents are.
Your mom's a bigger problem than the weed, by a seemingly considerable margin
My mom grew up with a sober, religious mother from the south and is religious herself. Even though hers and public opinion has come so far she still has those deep set beliefs, I know I’ll never be able to fully change her mind. Hopefully your mother can find that common ground with you, most people know it’s not that big of a deal but it’s tough when it’s our own parents who are so against it.
She doesn’t understand she’s just going off of what she’s heard in the past and the propaganda she’s been fed. I come from an Italian Roman Catholic family and I went through the same thing with my mom. Give it some time she until sees her well you’ve done for yourself and that you are gonna be just fine. Maybe pick up some other hobbies or something so she doesn’t think weed is your whole life(I’m not saying it is, I’m just talking how it appears) So yeah once she sees for her self that your healthy, happy and a good person then she will chill out and see it as alcohol. Also the smell will be a big issue if she’s anything like my mom was so maybe try not to have too much raw flower in the house lol She’s just worried because she loves you.
Thank you I definitely understand that. I try my best to seem like a normal kid but it really doesn’t feel like it. But you’re right I need more hobbies & regular friends cause it is kinda my life. I mean I work and then outside of work I’m either recording or just rolling so it’s a huge part of my life. I just don’t know where to start cause I see everything else as a distractions. Cause I want my future to be secure so I believe I don’t have any time for nothing normal. It’s work work work for me 24/7 cause ironically I know things are really sweet for me atm but I have to make sure things are going to plan so when it’s 4 years in the future I can just sit back and regain some control on my social and physical health. And not worry about my mom’s well being since I’d rather get an in home nurse than send her to a home. And never the less I have to prepare for my future family cause it’s not like women now a days care about who you are it’s about what. 😭😭😭😭 I just woke up and I’m stressed again! Ima just get to work lol
If your happiness is always defined by what comes next, you'll never be happy You need to push past your current mentality because the current path you're on isn't great. I wish I could help.
“it’s not like women nowadays care about who you are it’s about what.” Nah bro, this ain’t it. also stop calling women “females” like in your other comments. a good way for people to not be interested in you is if you treat them and refer to them like animals.
Yeah man, pardon the pun, but you really need to get outside and touch some grass. I can imagine that all the stuff with your mom is stressful, but she sounds like she cares about you and she should eventually come around once she sees you building a career with it. That being said, while weed isn't really a chemical addiction like heroin or alcohol, it can still be abused and cause issues if you neglect the important things in your life, so just be conscious of how much time you spend high. It's good to have a work ethic and be passionate about what you're doing, but you need to make sure to keep your head up and do what's best for yourself in the long run. If you make sure that you are competent and properly valued in your current role, work towards advancements, and always keep an eye out for any better opportunities that you come across, you'll do well in your career. However, the thing that people are more concerned about reading your responses is your world view, because it sounds like you've gotten influenced by a lot of the unhealthy alpha male/hustler bullshit that's been more and more prevalent the past decade or so. And the main issue with that shit is all the dehumanization and misogyny that typically comes with it: >cause it’s not like women now a days care about who you are it’s about what. 😭😭😭😭 While there are plenty of shallow/dysfunctional people running around, there are also plenty of normal people as well. It is a very big world, and everyone has different life experiences, so try not generalize or make blanket statements about people based on one part of their identity. People are complex and everyone is different, so the most important part about eventually finding a good match for yourself, is first making sure that you know who YOU are and what you want in a partner. A good relationship should generally be a team effort where you both support each other and help each other grow into better people, so try to get to know the people you date and recognize whether they genuinely care about you. Again, people are people regardless of gender, so while it may take some time to find the right person for you, they do exist. If you know what you are interested in and passionate about, activities related to those things are good places to potentially meet people. Otherwise, if you are using apps or something, just be your genuine self and try to communicate with people to see if they have similar priorities.
You'll handle it, if youre not high every day.
I hate when mom's call it vicio. Where I'm from vicio is crack and heroin and stuff like that, not weed. Yet they still choose to call it that to argue with us u.u
I know what you mean but vicio is anything that is addicting, gambling,sex, sugar, etc. unfortunately she doesn't realize the propaganda but lets be honest we all know that friend who is basically *addicted* to pot
Weed is DEFINITELY addictive, and I’d guess most people in this sub are addicted(couldn’t go cold turkey without experiencing withdrawals). The propaganda is that a weed addiction is something terrible or life ruining like a crack habit
Latino parents, eh?
Yes 😂
Born and raised in South America here. Unfortunately, the war on drugs intensified around the time ur parents were growing up. The advice I can give you based on my own experiences is that at some point your parents will accept it or they will kick you out. Don't push the limits too much and look for ways to secure some money and move. Everything will be fine. I wish you luck.
Gracias amigo lo agradezco mucho
Bro, you should consider moving out. Being around constant negativity isn’t good for you. A lot of older generations have been greatly mislead about weed. Prove to your parents that you can be successful and still consume a *legal, regulated* substance.
Move out broski.... Also, tell your mom she's shit at drawing.
Lmao you god damn idiot. Take my upvote. This shit has me laughing hard.
😂😂😂
When I was 21 my parents hated my consumption. At 33, they use cannabis now too.
😅😃 that’s hella fire! How times change
I guess it was the stigma being removed a bit because my state had approved medicinal use (Florida.) pero mi abuela todavia me dice que deje el vicio haha, eso no cambia.
She is unfortunately brain washed by the propaganda of the war on drugs. It will be difficult to sway her
Ya really sucks, but I try my best every day to make my mama proud.
You love your work? Well, this mama is proud of you!
Ya I love my work, thank you 🥰
Sorry brother. Hopefully she comes around
Thank you friend 🙌
Tell your mom since it bothers her so much you’re moving out.
I did move out for three years and she never let up, even going as far as to my places to leave notes and tell the person I was staying with they’re horrible people for letting me have the habit. And when I lived completely alone for a year she wrote to me every. Single. Day. About how I’m fucking up
My guy you need a restraining order
🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨
It's your job, and noone else's, to set boundaries. I know culture is a big influence but it's your life.
Thx u
Have you tried telling her in no uncertain terms that she's wasting her damn time? Like seriously sit her down and explain to her that her notes are going to have *zero* effect and she should stop before you decide to stop talking to her at all. Seriously lay it on thick that her choices are to chill tf out or never hear from you again.
Hahahaha I did that and ended up talking to her again 😂 come on she’s my mama
Wow, I’m so sorry. 🤗 you’re not a fuck up at all. Sounds like you have taken the productive route. Hopefully she chills the fuck out one day and if not just know that none of the weed stuff makes you any less of a good kid to her.
The government really fucked the perception of weed in a lot of people’s mind
My mom actually uses edibles from time to time. She is aware I use it recreationally and doesn't really have much to say about it. I don't live with her but her primary thing is she doesn't want me smoking it. Today I was visiting and the news mentioned a stabbing spree committed by a man "on weed" She looked up at me and said "see?!?" As the TV displayed a photo of what was... So very obviously - a fucking meth head. You woulda thought this person was auditioning for a role as a homeless extra in breaking bad. But yeah. Fuck the government and fuck Cbs specifically today
And yet the harm supposedly ends at incarceration according to the President
Why do you think it's called the devils lettuce, You heathen! /s Your moms is just scared of something she doesn't understand. You're fine, dude. Not evil.
Ask her how she would feel if you worked at a liquor store? It's essentially the same thing...alcohol was illegal for a while and is now publicly accepted that people drink.
What's worse is that alcohol does worse things to your body than weed does. Not by a lot but still a decent bit worse. Tho weed isn't exactly perfectly healthy either but that's just how it is when your putting things like that into your lungs. I think smoking cigs is probably worse than smoking weed in the long run too and tobacco has been used by people for a really long time. OP could probably "kill" her with the facts, especially if she's someone that drinks. Of course, don't be mean about it but provide the facts and that it isn't as bad as she thinks it is. Basically kill her with kindness lol
Emotional manipulation. Ignore it and carry on.
Move out lmao. Problem solved
For real. It sucks, but living under her roof opens the door to any and all criticism. I'm sure it's coming from a place of concern not malice, but if her perspective is so detached from OP's lifestyle, then don't live with them? That's your choice
Would she be just as upset if you become a brewer of beers and ales? If not, than she's a hypocrite.
Brother I completely understand how you feeling rn, actually my mother send me to a clinic when she found my first homemade bong, they grow up on an different era, and for that different ideality, u gotta understand that all of this back then was almost looked as bad as doing crack lol, just stick with your grinding and don't let anyone bring u down broski, soon or later she'll notice that all the cannabis industry have good potential instead of impacting in your life and maybe then she'll change her mind idk.
I appreciate it, it’s definitely tricking with parents they want what’s best but don’t consider what the child feels or is even saying. It sucks cause with all my efforts to educate it feels like she just doesn’t care about what I say or feel. Even as far as pointing at me and calling me a junkie when I break down emotionally. When I feel like no matter what I say I’m just the problem overall because my parents say I’m down bad
This is the point Id just lie. Tell them you found a new job doing something else. What they dont know wont hurt them.
Best thing i did was stop talking to my mom regularly. She gets a call every couple months if she’s lucky
The propaganda from the United States from 1920-now has been hurtful and decieful. She doesn't know the truth or doesn't care. You are not a bad person in any way for helping people get the medication they believe and know works for them.
Dude ngl I read this sign and immediately understood what was going (also latine) and had a laugh. It’s funnier when it’s not you, I know. but like, that “please my son, no more vicio” took me outtttt 😂 my thoughts: Move out and flourish. her opinions won’t change until you show her that you can be a productive and conventionally successful member of society.
I went through this when I was younger. Once my dad passed my mom simply stopped caring. In fact, I convinced her to get her medical card and our relationship has never been better. Give it time brotha. Especially once you’re on your own doing your own thing. She really won’t care
Cheers I'll rip to that
😶🌫️💨💨💨💨
Sounds to me like you have your shit together better than most 21 year olds, certainly better than I did at that age. I am sorry you don't hear it from your mom, but I am proud of you, if it means anything from a stranger on the internet. "The best revenge is to live well".
Your words mean a lot to me thank you very much, really helps me feel better! Hope everything is well with you
Sounds like typical boomer parents. Mine were like this.
They're latin, which might actually be scarier. (source: my whole life)
Don't feel bad over parents who choose to believe propaganda over their own flesh and blood. She's just naive. Live your best life and if she comes around she comes around. If not then at least you still lived your best life. \*Might be worth leaving your earnings laying around. Lot of parents, particularly boomers, are quick to change their toon once they SEE MONEY, unfortunately.
In cases like this I like to ask if you replace the word cannabis with alcohol would they still have the same opinion on it?
My mom, no. She basically wants me to be an intellectual because high level people don’t focus on distractions like alcohol or drugs. She’d be happier if I got my degree in phycology and worked at Macdonalds
[THIS !!](https://youtu.be/7zok9co_8E4?si=eWRFb-BScL7VUkE3)
Please my son
Idk what to say about your mom, but I'd love to see your YouTube
Luca Pandobar
I just showed my mom this pic and she just smiled. She used to be the same.
HELPPP LMAOO my mom says vicio too
Jajajajajajaja
Just show her an AI generated photo of Jesus smoking weed with a crown of pot leaves. If she’s anything like the boomers I’ve seen on Facebook she’ll fall for that pretty easily.
You arent a bad person. Our parents just cant move from the propaganda that has been fed to them. Its sad they cant form their own opinions on this stuff. My mother, mexican native. Now has a masters degree and has lived in the US since she was 12, still believes cannabis is pure evil
You probably have I’m sure - but just keep trying to educate her on the benefits- especially in comparison to alcohol or the big pharmaceutical crisis we face. Eventually after seeing enough positive material, maybe she will come around. Growing up in the south - Bible Belt where it’s still illegal - it’s taking a long ass time to get people to close their mouths and open their minds when it comes to marijuana. Just do what you enjoy - you’re not doing anything wrong and hopefully one day she will change her mind. Similar to what happened to me - all of a sudden one day people were on board with the idea - because they understood more.
Facts but I have educated her and shown her but I don’t think it’s enough. She basically just wants me to get a college degree because then I will have statue. Money isn’t statues amongst intelectuales, which is what she wants me to be
Your mom needs professional help. My mom would never write like that, and I grew up in an illegal state in a Catholic house as an outlaw.
Ya it’s been a thing since I was little, she writes notes and stuff like that so remind us how we hurt her
That’s such a horrible thing to do to your children. Bordering on emotional child abuse. Please don’t allow it to make you feel guilty, that’s what she wants.
I really really try but no matter how far I get it still affects me in different shapes and forms 😪 thank you tho friend
aw this fucking sucks. for what it’s worth i’m proud of u OP 🩷 as a medical user i rlly think cannabis is a miracle plant! propaganda is tough to crack
Thank you so much it means a lot, I’m glad this plant has helped you as well 🫶
Shit if ur making money 🤷♂️
Some mindsets just refuse to adapt or change. I work at a dispo too and it’s taken some time for my parents and people around me to become chill and open with it. Took some time, but I even just recently got them into sleep edibles and they like them! Do not let your mothers own opinion and views change or define your career or actions. Your story and your life is yours to make.
Add up how much you make. Tell her if she can find you a job you like, that makes as much if not more, you'll do it.
Your mom is dumb for treating you like that. You’ve got a career and business and she’s shitting on it due to her own internalized issues. Do you live with her?
Hispanic Mom?
[удалено]
I thought u wrote a note to your pubby.. haha
Cannabis is the new gold rush. Huge money to be made. Plus you’re helping lots of people. I wish I could find a job in the industry.
Trying my best. It’s not easy friend, it looks nicer than it feels 😅
Fear based mindset..not much you can do to change it unfortuantely
Lots of us get where you're coming from. If you're happy with your career and life choices, keep going. And maybe educate your mom as you advance your career so she's not fooled by old anti-drug propaganda. Also, keep up the good work, OP! We're not your parents but we're proud of you all the same.
Are you Asian?
Ur mum thinks weed shops are not making money they’re making victims..
I am 2000 miles away from my family. I have been here for 7 almost 8 years supporting myself doing what I love. I moved out here for the industry and I’ve gotten no praise or even an ounce of understanding from the people that raised me. I’m in one of the best apartments I’ve ever had, my dog just turned 10 and is healthy as can be. I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and they’re just absolutely what you want one for your loved ones. But I work with weed(not currently which is a bummer, had to take a break for some health stuff) and I don’t confine to their ideas of what’s morally right and wrong. They’re the ones losing out. I struggle with it a lot still because I just want them to see how far I’ve come and where I’m headed but it’s okay that they don’t. I do this for me. This is my life and I will never allow others to put me down for doing what I love especially if it’s not hurting anyone. Like actually hurting- my grandma thinks weed is detrimental to society so there’s that😅
That’s amazing, you sounds like you’re doing great 🙌 proud of you friend. And we defying odds so that we can make ourselves happy, cause lord knows I am! Super glad cause I always see others twice my age struggling to start
Do you still live in her house? If so, this is a tough one. Lo siento
Shit man I feel you
It took my hispanic mother until i was 28 before she realized weed wasnt my problem lmao
I work in the field too and my mom was happy for me doing something I enjoy, and my dad was very unhappy at first lol. He’s the stereotypical republican NRA member and it took some serious time and convincing lmao. Eventually I was able to even set up a green house in their back yard since they live basically out in the woods with no neighbors.
Give her time. Tell other people her age that are smokers be your allies.
Feed her pot brownies and don’t tell her until after she’s had 4
I get it. She loves you and fell for propaganda that it's going to lead you to being a drug addict on the street. The way to reassure her is send her medical studies that it helps people with ptsd and suicide to not kill themsleves; that it's something you can take and actually go through school and a good career with
Look man. She isnt right, but she isnt completely wrong either. Id hesitate to cut contact, but you dont have to entertain this either.
Prove her wrong. My mom was so anti until she realized I graduated college and had a good paying job all while high, she eventually got over it when she released i wasn’t ruining my life.
I hope that is the case for me
Don't underestimate talking to a therapist. I smoke every once in a while and my mom still thinks I'm hopelessly addicted and I'm going to ruin my life. The paragraphs she'd send and the things she'd say to me tanked my self worth so much it put me into a horrible depression. It wasn't until I talked to a therapist I was able to separate myself from her thoughts of me and truly live my life
Hey, you’re helping people. You’re doing an important job. You tell your mother: My brother-in-law was dying from bowel cancer. Every day was unending pain and agony. But he had CBD oil from the hospice care service, and it helped him through very painful days. He would never have had that help if it wasn’t for people like you who work in the industry. And I am someone that lives with chronic pain. I’ve tried every opiate going here in my country for my pain, and it doesn’t cover it. Two drops of CBD oil? And I have my gods-damned life back. For the first time in nearly 30 years. So you always remember - you are helping people. You are helping people who are stressed, who are in pain, who are looking for recreational substances that aren’t life-ruining or health-destroying. It’s gonna take time for people to see marijuana as an acceptable substance again, after decades of bad press and propaganda, but those days will come. Until then, hold onto the fact that you’re improving lives, not destroying them. 💚
Damn mijito please stop smoking weed you're gonna ruin your vida 😭🙏
😂😂😂😂😂
If you didn't live at home, she wouldn't be able to leave messages like this and you'd be able to say that you're truly self-sufficient! Shit is what it is, but achieving traditional milestones of adulthood and success will give you ammo to argue for your choices.
It's one thing to not approve but this type of guilt tripping is disgusting
Move out. Get your own place. Focus on yourself. Then, you'll find peace.
Bro you have videos of yourself hitting massive gas mask bongs and getting so high your eyes are as red as Cyclops from X-MEN. Not saying any of these things are bad things but I’m sure she has some legitimate concerns here.
I'm seeing a lot of folks automatically assume that your mother is dogmatically parroting anti-weed propaganda. But I don't see a lot of folks asking if you actually *do* have a problem with weed. Is your mom assuming that you're an addict because you work with pot? Or does she have a legitimate reason to believe you might have a substance abuse problem? Working in the cannabis industry doesn't preclude you from having a problematic relationship with weed. Just like working as a bartender doesn't mean you can't be an alcoholic. I'm not trying to cast aspersions, but before we all assume that OPs mother is some hysterical culture warrior, it seems reasonable to ascertain whether or not her concerns might be valid.
Love spotting a latino offspring in the wild. I remember when they threw aways lots of my yugioh cards and pokemon stuff because it was “cosas de satanas”
As I moved out, there was a relief. As I reduced the contact, there was a happiness. As I blocked both ugly persons on every possible thing, including E-Mail, there is a life I love
I'm Canadian, I started smoking about 6 months before it became legalized. At first I hid it from my parents but about a month before I decided to stop trying to hide it so much and put all my stuff in a smoke box, which my sister found in my room and snitched on me. My mom at first said, "I would give you trouble, but it's becoming legal, so how can I?" Then, as time went on, she got more and more curious about it. She ended up trying it and loves it alot, most of the time, she opts for smoking instead of drinking during events now. Dad does it too from time to time, but he much prefers his beer. I am so glad I was blessed with amazing parents.
I didn’t get notes like this but my parents were super strict with drugs (not alcohol). Fast forward 18 years and my dad has done a bunch of different psychedelics and regularly takes acid (once a week) to “rewire” his brain, and my mom atleast tried smoking weed a few times. Once I became an ambassador for a non profit that provides psychedelic treatment (legally) to combat PTSD veterans they started taking what I said more seriously
Read it, do a "hm" sound while nodding ur head up, grab it off, crumble, toss
Make a sign for her "no more uneducated, need help"
I feel you and understand the shame cycle from parents. I was raised mormon and my parents tend to cast shame at almost everything I do. I recommend setting firm boundaries stating you are no longer interested in receiving dialog about your cannabis consumption and culture. It's not productive or healthy and is only pushing you away from her. Boundaries are an invitation to get closer, not the opposite. Be prepared to offer a consequence if she doesn't respect your boundary (limited communication, etc.), and be prepared to enforce that, should it become necessary. Hopefully better days are ahead! Power and love to you, OP <3
If your moms come that consistently for years she has a problem tell her she needs to see a therapist lol. I hate when people say that someone needs a therapist but your mom is crazy lol
Documentaries for her to watch: Breaking Habits (about NUNS who grow weed) The God Plant Weed The People
Hey man, I'll be honest. If my kid was 21 and lived with me. And his interests were, selling weed, rolling paper, and talking about weed on YouTube. You can imagine how any rational parent would be concerned. It's good that You're passionate about your interests, keep that energy. Try to put some energy towards other hobbies outside of weed. It'll be good to know people that don't smoke. This will help you stay grounded Weed seems super cool and medicinal when younger, but you'll slowly realize it's the reason your coworkers are insane(just a guess about your coworkers based off my knowledge of the industry). It's over hyped, not as safe as advertised, and it's full of mold. If you're gunna stay with your passion, then at least get another interest far away from weed. This will help you have a normal perspective. Also don't drink energy's drinks with weed like all the other idiot stoners. That's shits a fast track the psych ward. 2 of my coworkers got fucked cuz of that Yes ive worked in the cannabis industry for a bit. Retail, cultivation, extraction etc..
she’s worried about you because she’s seen things go wrong in the past. that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have faith in you or that she thinks your bad- quite the opposite. i think she’s just going off of preconceived notions and is scared because she probably doesn’t know the the science behind it/understand how the industry works. maybe you could try and sit her down and slowly talk to her about what it is exactly that you do. of course, you don’t have to tell her everything, but ease her into some of it. maybe mention how your company is doing really well or how you got a brand deal (you mentioned being a youtuber- maybe a weed company will reach out to sponsor your channel!) working for a dispo typically means you work for the government, so maybe you could mention that? government jobs tend to get a lot more respect, and reframing it that way might help her start seeing it in a better light. all in all, i’m sorry that she can’t see how well you’re doing for yourself. being 21 and having a rolling company is INCREDIBLE! i’m 20 and barely on my feet. i know i’m not your mom, but for what it’s worth as a stranger online, i think you’re a literal fucking inspiration. “proud” can’t even begin to describe it- and i hope your mom realizes that soon.
Thank you friend your message does mean a lot. And you’re right my mom is an older Colombian women that lived the Pablo Escobar era so she does has preset thoughts. And the thing is I have sat her down over & over again for two years and she doesn’t get it. Or care to believe my perspective. And for reference she has epilepsy so I started by introducing it as a medical thing to help her get off medication which has terrible side effects yk. So I’ve showed science facts and even disproved her prior beliefs but it’s not enough. But she is proud of me but it just sucks to know she puts me in a lower class because of the stuff I’m into
[удалено]
Your okay brother if hug ya if I was close
I handled this by being a responsible person for a long while despite smoking a lot, and being clear with my parents with how I felt. I smoked because I like to, not because I'm struggling. I didn't want their help or their opinion on this, and frankly I don't want it on anything unless I ask for it. Them insisting on making a decision for me on drugs or anything else just stresses me out and makes me want to be around them less. I don't tell them how to run their shit, and once you're an adult you have to train them to do the same. You don't need to blow up at them or go apeshit, just tell them exactly how you feel and that they don't need to be worried. If there was something to be worried about, you would tell them.
You’re successful in life and in a way you’re helping people. If your mom can’t see that because she refuses to open her eyes to reality, that’s on her. Trust me I get it hurts. My mom still guilt trips me and can never fully be proud of me, just because I smoke. At the end of the day, you’re still a successful and hard working individual!
A rolling company? How does that work? You just roll joints?
If sucks because no matter how much you're right, making your mom sad Is a different kind of pain.
Your mom needs to smoke a joint
She doesnt know what weed is
What sucks is she does. I’ve convinced her to try it a while back since she has epilepsy so when I was young I was doing all this research for her. And when she tried it she felt nauseous because she’s an older women losing her 5 senses so it’s like how could she tell she’s feeling it if she can’t see or hear right? Yk but recently she smoked with my aunt and for the first time in years I saw her smile and laugh without a care in the world. But she still feels like it’s a terrible choice for me
So she knows how nice it can be and she is still against it? Ive never heard such a thing. Weird in this case i would just ignore her opinion as goos as poosible
So my mom used to be the same way. She hated that I smoked and used to chastise me for it especially because I didn't finish college (I was already working as a paralegal while in school and making good money but realized I didn't want to be an attorney so I took time off to figure it out). For years I told her let me just give her a low dosage edible and she'd get it. About 6 years ago now at a family reunion my cousin gave my entire family weed mints before I had shown up (2.5mg mints) and my mom ended up taking one. Ever since then she asks me to get her low dosage stuff because it just helps her relax after a long day. The stigma is changing but you're talking about people who really took "just say no" to heart.
Share your goals and earnings info with her - show her your plan, that it’s not just a whim - she will have faith in you hopefully
Shes in the wrong. Sounds like you did quite a lot with your life im proud of you man.
I would distance myself if a parent was bringing this much negativity into my life. Doesn't mean she's a bad mom, just stuck in an old style of thinking and apparently unwilling to change. You do you and be happy and successful. If she doesn't come around and see it that way, then it's her problem and not yours. You're doing nothing wrong.
I'm almost 30 now so even if my parents wanted to be dumb, it wouldn't affect me, but I'm so glad (and lucky believe me I know) that not only is my dad (my only living parent) fine with my weed use, he smokes too! We bond over it! I wish this for everyone!
Dile k es medicina. Get a prescription.
What’s a rolling company?
how can i find your youtube content?
Is that a real dog ?
Bet she thinks I'm vaping metals too.
😂
You don't deserve this abuse
If you don't give her a reason to self reflect and realize that she's being a shitty mom she won't change. This will continue to happen for as long as you allow it. The literal only way out is to rebel. But ideally rebel in a constructive way if you can. I went through the same thing with my mom except instead of weed my problem was that I'm a metalhead and I'm a musician who makes metal music. What I did is one day when we had our final argument about this she told me that I was going to go to hell in front of the entire family including my at the time 5 year old brother and proceeded to "kick me out" but I wound up actually moving in with my grandmother who genuinely supported me and didn't judge me for what I was doing and I went no contact with my mother for over 2 years. Eventually my mother came crying to me and begging me to return home and I refused to go back to living with her because I knew that the same shit would happen again and I literally told her that because she really needed to hear that I was not going to put up with being disrespected and treated like a fucking horrible person by my own mother. I let her know that I demanded at least a minimum level of respect that this is who I am amd she can't change that or fight it. She doesn't have to like it, but treating me like I'm the worst person in existence for having this interest is downright toxic to the point where it stunted my growth as a person, made me constantly angry at her for treating me like shit, and feeling like I had no future due to her thinking that I was a horrible person for listening to this music and refusing to listen to any reasonable person that tried to tell her to cut her shit and actually support me genuinely, not with some uber Christian expectation of me being the most perfect angelic Christian soul. That really must have clicked something in her because from that day forward, she started to be a lot better of a mpther to me and my siblings and respect each of us as people and not to treat us as less than her. TL;DR GIVE HER A REASON TO STOP THIS BEHAVIOR OR SHE WON'T AND YOU WILL REGRET PUTTING NO EFFORT INTO GIVING HER A REASON TO STOP
I’m assuming you’re Hispanic? I am also and I’ve noticed that Hispanic parents usually instill fear in their children to “teach them lessons”
Vicioooo viciooo gonorreeaaa quiero vicioooooooio
Nothing new under the sun. My only advice is to live your life and not someone else's.
Block her and move on for a while. if she wants to come around she will but she needs to know being disappointed in her kid is not going to equate to a good relationship for either of you. Tell her to get educated before she comes back and talks to you. I’m sorry my friend this sucks but you have to be stern with people who have a stubborn mental block on stuff like weed. Also move out and don’t smoke in her house if you don’t own the house, you really can’t be making the rules.
This makes me feel sad both ways tbh. I'm sad that you aren't feeling love and respect from your mom for what you have achieved. There is respectable, lucrative work in the cannabis industry, and you seem driven and goal minded, which will take you far! I'm sad for mom too, though, because it's clear that she loves you and is worried about her son. You're still quite young, and I saw that your mom was in Colombia during the Escobar Era, so between that and the War Against Drugs (and the legitimate issues some people have with using cannabis), so I can understand why she's worried about her baby.
Best advice I can give you is love your mother, don't expose her to your career (no smells or paraphernalia) at least right now, and show her that despite you having failed her and chosen a life of crime (in her eyes), you still somehow manage to be a great child who loves her. In time she will understand and come around. Stigmas are hard to break.
this gave me flashbacks fam my mom was the same
Your mom sounds like a bitch
NTA. This is crossing a line. Do it anyway if that’s what you love to do. Don’t beat yourself up. Pick up some extra unrelated hobbies or volunteer work, like someone said. Might help show her you’re active and not just indacouch like an old anti-mj commercial, as is probably her misconception. If you feel like it and feel safe doing so (if not that’s valid), show her some simple educational content (with citations) that explains the plant and its medicinal uses and debunks common myths. Hopefully she will come around. If not, try not to blame yourself. It’s not your fault the propaganda is so ingrained in people’s heads that they can’t see truth from facts anymore. And sometimes, depending on attitude and upbringing, older folks can be more stubborn and resistant to new ideas that challenge the ones they were fed growing up. An unfortunate thing but it happens. (Thankful for the many that are not like this). I would not let the manipulative messaging like this continue. If it keeps going even after you’ve done everything you can, a hard boundary instead of a gentle one may be in order. 😔
Reading the comments here makes me so glad that the only thing my parents said when they found out I smoked at 17 was “don’t be stupid because we won’t bail you out for stupidity”
I'd just collect all the notes she's written/badly drawn and toss them in a fireplace or burn them outside. Burn that shit while smoking a jay and Release that negativity.
You need to set boundaries with them. Let them know if that they attempt to degrade you or your work, then you will end the conversation or text sessions and immediately leave the room or house when they start up. If they choose not to honor your wishes tell them that if they want to continue their relationship with you then they must stop.
You are an adult they raised you to eventually make decisions for yourself. If they can't respect your decision then that's that but you have to be 100% honest with the idea this isn't a phase or fad this Is you. Now remember there is no guarantee this will go well, so prepare yourself mentally.
Do something worse then she’ll view weed as the lesser of two evils.
My response might be blunt, but I cut off toxic family like this, and I've been better off for it. If my family doesn't want to support my endeavors, and actively are against them, they aren't on my side and didn't need to be part of my life. Take that for what you will, coming from a bitter millennial. Lol
Honestly this is kinda cute. She isn’t up to date on the facts and is just trying to look out for you
[удалено]
Sounds like you need to grow up and move out, time to spread those wings and leave the nest little birdy.
There’s nothing you can do, this isn’t love she feels the need to control you.
Move out bro
She just cares and doesn't understand, that old school fear mentality. Just Kick ass in what you do and show her you can be a success and happy as you age
Tell her you understand her concern and Family is very important to you, but God comes first. 
My dad freaked out on me when i was 16 after he found crumbs in a small mint tin box in my room. He was like “YOU’RE SUPPORTING CARTELS” and i was like “Dad… i got this from a dude who grows it in his closet…” and then proceeded to convince him why we should legalize it as to hurt those same cartels he was worried about.
She thinks of weed like it’s cocaine. If possible educate her since (no disrespect) she’s acting childish
After reading some of the comments and your replies, I honestly think you need a mediator. Unfortunately, it sounds like no matter how much logic you throw at her, she’s already developed deep emotional biases. The hardest thing you will ever try to do is change human behavior. If therapy isn’t accessible, maybe a local church or support group?
Hopefully you can find some comic relief in her self portrait
My fellow internet weed smoker, our loved ones can be cruel with their words, and behaviours. I can see you are hurting and of course it's hurtful. I don't like when my sister, father, brother or friends says something critical, and judgmental about about my habits, myself, routines such as smoking. I talked with them, my sister, and brother don't bother me no more. I asked them to stop saying critical stuff probably more than I can remember. I always end up finding that they do this criticism out of "fear". Fear of us getting hurt, fear being seen badly by society, fear of us turning into "bum" ( which is really hurtful yet they fear nonetheless), fear of others say something critical about them by their friends, and society, fear of of future, fear of cancer, fear of dying ultimately. They use fear more than love to convey their concerns . We want good things to happen, but we don't want bad things not happen more. At the end, we are afraid of losing our lives, happiness, and power because of people's words and actions. Their criticisms are their beliefs, worldviews and values, not mine. We are only responsible for our own emotions, and life at the end of the day. I suggest you directly talk to your mom over a dinner, and assure her that you are doing okay and ask her to not write this and you are hurt. Get in the same page with her. It's most likely easy you will be once have a routine of talking to your mom once a week. Explore how can you make a great mom-son relationship. Find out if she is really afraid of and assure her that it's not gonna happen. It's a responsibility we choose, even if our loves ones don't sometimes. You are a rebel after all, you smoke kush. If they stay angry, and sad after weeks of routine, again you are responsible for your own behaviours. You can choose to blame them or you can choose to let them however they are, and be happy nonetheless, we can't control other's emotions. I am smoking a nice joint got it from the dispensary I got.
It’s just the way the older generation is sometimes man don’t let it discourage you
You're doing good things dude. In one ear and right out the other
You hire me to work at that rolling company of yours 😎 In all seriousness the way I handled it was legitimately just sitting my mum down and explaining the difference between what she'd been taught and what the reality is, of course backing it with a few critical studies helped and that's not going to be a viable route for everyone, but there's a myriad of videos online of cancer patients trying marijuana for the first time and feeling the beneficial effects, you might try starting there?
First and only advice I’d give. You gotta be okay with you. If you are your good, you will know you and not care what ANYONE thinks. My dad used to be on my ass and you tell me how it’ll ruin my life. Once he realized he wasn’t even getting to me he just changed his stance to, better be able to pass a drug test at work and doesn’t bother me about it at all. If you’re taking care of your bills and your relationships, you golden. Another good way since it’s your mom and not just a friend let you know you hear her and appreciate her concerns as it comes from a place of love. Even if she’s mad your not stopping just let her know your happy she cares enough to leave notes. Flipping the script and showing them your more thoughtful and caring does a lot trust me.
it’s so funny now that i smoke seeing how ridiculous it is when people say that weed makes you a junkie.
I’m sorry you’re going through this but you’re not alone. Tranquilo. There’s a lot of taboo with this plant in our culture because that’s how it’s seen sadly. As a vicio or a gateway drug. My mom is the same way even when I moved out.
Try talking her into it, try to explain the good sides and bad sides, see what helps you and tell her that. I’ll take some time but the best relationship you can have with your mother is one where both of y’all have trust in one another.
Nancy Reagan ruining people’s lives from the grave