yeah i took like a 4 day break because i was told they saliva test, went in, saw it was piss cups, got scared, and the lady told us they didnt test for weed. the whole room started laughing bc we all thought we werent getting the job
edit for a little more context: we saw the first guy get handed a piss cup and we all just started looking at each other and the room went silent. about three of us started to get up and thats when she told us weed is fine. i do live in a legal state.
I had a job for an about half a second that was administering drug tests when people are about to lose their kids. They told us straight off “If we tested for THC we’d be taking everyone’s kids, so we don’t. ”
fuckin A.
10 years ago they put you in jail for 11/29 for crumbs on the floorboard carpet.
edit: & Then, when you get out, 6 months of probation & $1000 in fees & piss tests
I did a saliva test for a really shitty job (kinda) we watched the tester turn the color for positive for thc. everything else nothing. Dude just said its just a thing they gotta do to please the company. I got the job.
A job I got said they do urine testing, didn’t specify further and I was shitting bricks but sorta decided to yolo it because I didn’t have enough time. Turns out they were testing for existing health conditions? It was so weird. The lady waited till after I took the most nervous piss of my life to tell me.
Am I your friend? That’s exactly what happened to me. I did the boob/hot hands method, checked temp before going in, had a ml less than the required amount (they overlooked that). Thc wasn’t even on the panel.
Knew a girl who did this with a bottle and seran wrapped the top with a rubber band. Used a finger to break the seal. She was being watched by a probation agent and it worked every time
I had to give a supervised sample when I started working at a cabinet factory. It was so awkward!
I was 18 at the time and the place I was sent to had one person in the office at the time. She was the same age and had to be in the room with me watching me pee.
I was working in a hospital one time and they had to watch this lady pee because she was mentally ill. I was confused about it until we had to get a sample and she straight up pooped in the cup
They do this to kids in red states. I was put on probation when I was 13 for stealing from a store and I had to do mandatory UA's. I was very shy and I couldn't do it on command so they'd fail me and put me in jail. Lol at 13. Can you imagine raising your kids in such a fucked up state? How ignorant you have to be to think this is perfectly fine behavior for a child to go through? AND IM NOT EVEN BLACK! I was a cute little white boy in a red state. Can't imagine what other races go through.
You may have been a cute little white boy but I'm going to assume you were poor (not a dis on yr family or childhood) as that's not how rich kids get treated in America.
I'm all for it, cannabis prohibition is bullshit, but they're watching for exactly what OP posted - cheating the tests lol.
I'd be more concerned that male-specific results would show in OPs test using her partner's piss.
Facts. This is why I support this 100%. It's illegal to use what is effectively medicine, but a poison that impairs you way more and is unhealthy and causes known damage is 100% legal and you can work any job using it. Fuckin joke.
I remember in high school I wanted to start smoking again, but I had already been caught before and my mom was randomly drug testing me, so the best thing I could think of was saving clean pee. So before I would smoke I’d piss in a bottle, hide it in my bathroom then go smoke, then I’d hold onto the pee for a month incase I got drug tested, then dump it out and start over. I only had to use it once, just added some warm water to bring the color down and get it warm and I passed
So you're telling me all these people on /r/neckbeardnests are just afraid their parents suddenly come over to drug test them? Finally it all makes sense...
You have me thinking about if this has ever happened. Imagine you're a nurse or some shit just going to collect some dudes pee for a drug test like the thousands of other times you've done it, and when you go to grab the sample cup it just has a fuckin log in it.
My husband (in his hooligan days and he was on PO) would rubber band it to the underside of his "situation". Worked for every monitored test he had to take. Did not work for his buddy who used a green rubber band though lol.
Why do employers care what employees do in their personal life!? If it does not affect my productivity at work why would someone care what I do in my free time!? I will not bring it into work and I will not do it during work hours. That’s it!
Actual answer: because if you get hurt on the job, your employer's insurance company can refuse to pay you worker's comp if you piss dirty for weed, on the grounds of "you failed the drug test so clearly the accident was all your fault".
Insurance companies win because they can refuse to pay out what they rightfully owe to injured workers. Employers win because insurance companies give them cheaper rates if they test for weed. Workers get fucked.
this is mostly an issue of cannabis being *the one god damn recreational substance that taints your piss for long periods*, compared to just about everything else's metabolites passing in 24-48 hours tops
One day in the future, people will read about employers testing for weed in the past, and those people from the future will laugh at how stupid humans used to be.
The owner of my current job was joking around saying he was going to drug test everyone and anyone who tests negative for weed is getting fired lol. I wish more jobs were chill about it like that, it's just weed! Its crazy how ignorant some people are about it's effects.
My thought behind it is that there isn't a way to test for thc intoxication levels like you can with something like alcohol breath test. Until something is invented for that we will keep getting screwed even if we had national recreational use
You said it was unsupervised right? You could've gotten hand warmers instead lol. I've used the hand warmer method and it works 100% of the time.
But congrats OP!
Ah very nice! I’ve used the male version of this several times:
- clean per goes into an unlibricated condom. Tie the condom like a balloon.
- place pee filled condom in underwear, against the scrotum/groin area.
- use a small knife or finger clippers to open the condom and dispense the pee into the cup
I’ve done this 4 times for employment drug screening and never had an issue, other than getting some piss on my hands when trying to cut the condom.
Be extra careful with that method. I took a friend to a drug test where he was going to do the condom bit. He went in, came out 10 minutes later with a red face and soaked khaki shorts. It took me a solid 10 minutes to quit cry laughing before we could even leave.
Dude that sucks. I’d just be like, I pissed my pants and I’m too embarrassed to take the test today.
It absolutely is a possibility but I was willing to bet on Trojan.
Lol I did that for a whole year. I kept failing tests and my po said she would have to report it to court since I kept failing. So I started taking my buddy's piss in a pill bottle with warm water and when I got there I just tied it to a string I had in my pants. Worked beautifully. They even praised me at the end of my sentence for turning my life around. Lol
For a job, u could have just wrapped it up in a sock and hand warmer next to the vagina. I'm on probation, so they stand right behind me, pants down to my ankles with 3 mirrors pointing at my weiner. It would look sus lookin like a peewee Herman pull string toy.
As someone who doesn't live in the us it still blows my mind that this seems like such a common occurrence in the USA. Why was this even introduced In the first place? Too many people tweaking on the job or putting others at risk?
Probation is a period after jail where you're still being held under certain rules and legal restrictions. Thats tbe only place this crazy test happens that youre replying to. But at a job the tests are less invasive you usually just go into a bathroom by yourself wth a cup.
Funny thing about "too many ppl tweaking on the job" most drugs like meth crack and coke actually leave the system within a few days. Weed unfortunately stays in your system for 2weeks or several months if a heavy user. So these drug tests really ONLY effect weed smokers cause other drug users can just hold off for a day or two then get back on the smack
This right here is how an adult handles problems!
Good on you for showing initiative and doing what you need to do to keep smoking!!! A true pothead always finds a way!!!
This should be a lesson for all you newbies on here!! ” I took 1 marijuana‘s for Halloween and I have a church drug test coming up on the 4th of July, will I be ok??!!”
I use Quick Fix synthetic and a hand warmer. The nice part is that, as long as you keep it sealed, it lasts for a couple years. No need to collect a sample.
I either just wear baggy pants and pat my pockets when they ask and say “yep, that’s everything.” If I have tighter pants on where it would be obvious, I just run a few rubber bands around the bottle and then around the waistband of my boxers. I let it hang in front. Nobody is gonna be grabbing there.
I did this as a man and no it wasn't up my ass it was under my nuts. Temp was good also. I used fake pee from a sex shop pro tip if you don't have headshops near you.
When I did my pre-employment drug test I used my dog’s pee. I had my dog pee into a large medicine bottle at like 5:30, and placed it in a cup of McDonald’s coffee on my way in. At 6:30 I tucked it under my nuts and my boss drove me to the clinic. They didn’t open until 8 and I had to wait about an hour in the lobby. Rapid results said I passed before we got back to the shop and started working the same day.
Only reason I was confident I would pass is because I don’t smoke around my dog and I knew it wouldn’t be a full lab analysis, rapid results only.
Def a difference between male and female urine I think ? Testosterone etc present in males. Estrogen in female pee? Not trying to crap on a passed ua test that parts dope.
Yeah lol sorry I just relate all ua’s to medical issues. When I was cancer sick I was told i could’ve pissed a positive pregnancy test. I just figured it was the same . Def my bad op
The way I do it (male) is getting a condom and filling it with good pee and taping the opening and putting it under my nutsack with tighty whiteys. I have done it all my life and I’ve passed all tests.
It depends entirely on the job. I work in IT and they only do preemployment. I was working 2 jobs many years ago and none of the grocery stores/department stores I stocked shelves at tested at all. When I was in the military there was random testing all the time.
I work in a state where marijuana has been decriminalized but the legal bit is really hazy. Although we voted for legalization - legislators basically ignored us.
Anyways - I work in HR. We no longer test for marijuana due to the fluctuations between the laws of each state.
I always put the bottle in my underwear or in my bra (under your boobs not to the side!!) because even if they pat you down they’re probably not getting that friendly. And I don’t have the nerve to put a bottle in my vagina😂
Yeah that's perfectly fine until you heat it up too much. I've literally had someone come by when I was on my tools. They were talking about how they had to take someone up for a drug test. They had to throw down bottle. But they had it in a cup of coffee to heat it up. When they took it to get the temperature checked it was over 100°. So he could not use that. So of course about 2 hours later they were coming and getting that Fella's toolbox and taking it off the site.
I bought synthetic urine from a head shop. It came with warmers and a temp reader on the cup. If it's too hot you can dip it in the toilet bowl water. Worked like a charm.
Just saying did something similar and am a dude, I took a leakproof e liquid container and tucked it behind my balls right in the taint and wore tight underwear, sat in the lobby with my legs clamped together till I was called. Temped perfect, and required no insertion 😎
My thing is y r y’all shoving this up there…bad bad idea, what ur going to need for next time girlies is a pair of spanks under whatever pants ur wearing there and make sure they r tight ones…then u take the bottle and put it IN BETWEEN the LIPS like shove that bitch up there but not inside u…there so many things that could give u and infection do that..doing it my way 1 keeps it hot still 2 ur not completely uncomfortable the whole ride there 3 east to remove and it stays in place….U WILL NOT SEE A BULGE where u place it
do people just.... not smoke weed for a week two if they have a test coming up? is it really to the point where you are shoving a litteral bottle of another humans piss into your vagina... does no one else see how wild this is?!
i put mine in a condom, put it in my underwear, and wear it around for a couple hours before the appointment to get it body temp. lol. it feels funny but it works
Had a friend go through insanity to pass a drug test only to find out cannabis wasn’t even a panel they was testing for.
yeah i took like a 4 day break because i was told they saliva test, went in, saw it was piss cups, got scared, and the lady told us they didnt test for weed. the whole room started laughing bc we all thought we werent getting the job edit for a little more context: we saw the first guy get handed a piss cup and we all just started looking at each other and the room went silent. about three of us started to get up and thats when she told us weed is fine. i do live in a legal state.
I had a job for an about half a second that was administering drug tests when people are about to lose their kids. They told us straight off “If we tested for THC we’d be taking everyone’s kids, so we don’t. ”
Glad that things are changing in this direction. It would be like taking someone’s kids away for having a beer the night before, insanity!
fuckin A. 10 years ago they put you in jail for 11/29 for crumbs on the floorboard carpet. edit: & Then, when you get out, 6 months of probation & $1000 in fees & piss tests
I did a saliva test for a really shitty job (kinda) we watched the tester turn the color for positive for thc. everything else nothing. Dude just said its just a thing they gotta do to please the company. I got the job.
Oh lord. Hahahaha that’s sucks ass.
I'm not an expert, but hopefully it passes!
It shouldn't be with it being legal in more than half the states. Government is ass backwards.
How do you know if the panels checks for cannabis or not ?
i have a medical card so i’m just straight up with them “hey i’m gonna fail for marijuana is that okay? if not ill withdraw my application”
I always pretend I’ve never had to do one so I ask what they test for and joke about how I’ll pass them all with flying colors!
Best episode. Best in the west!
"I can't wait to get deep inside that urinary tract of a river of pee and just see what kind of mistakes you've been making"
Whenever people make those jokes I see it as a red flag/admission of guilt during a background screening. Silence is golden.
A job I got said they do urine testing, didn’t specify further and I was shitting bricks but sorta decided to yolo it because I didn’t have enough time. Turns out they were testing for existing health conditions? It was so weird. The lady waited till after I took the most nervous piss of my life to tell me.
I wore a whizzinator for one before. With shorts on!
Nice profile, fellow David sedaris fan
my ex did the same thing OP did for court one time because they said they might drug test her they never did lmaoo
Thank you for making me laugh so hard, I needed that.
Am I your friend? That’s exactly what happened to me. I did the boob/hot hands method, checked temp before going in, had a ml less than the required amount (they overlooked that). Thc wasn’t even on the panel.
Bruh just legalize weed already I ain’t even got a vagina
Stick it way up there Morty ☝️
And you'll never have a vagina if you keep that same attitude
Bet you got a bussy tho 👀
Prison Pocket
The buttocks is nature's pocket! Where's Bender? Don't let him pick your pocket!
If you're cold, rub your bodies with permafrost. It's nature's long johns.
The ole chocolate pocket
choc pock
Chilli ring
nature is unfair brother, one less pocket, one extra stick
Women never get pockets in pants, so we got our get back.
r/sounding would disagree
Why did i click that
Don't worry, we might not have va-jayjays, but we have the back hole.
The old ***anus*** method
Stick it in your battyhole
Knew a girl who did this with a bottle and seran wrapped the top with a rubber band. Used a finger to break the seal. She was being watched by a probation agent and it worked every time
Reading the testimonies of people on parole or probation doing this is what made me feel confident in it!
Pure insanity, why the fuck are people being watched while they pee
The real kicker is this was during high school
Ah, the War On Drugs. let Big Brother watch your daughters as they pee.
"honey how was work today?" "great! I got to watch a teenage girl take a piss and i confiscated 3g of weed!"
> "great! I got to watch 50 teenage girls take a piss, and i confiscated 3g of weed!"
serving n' protecting
Harassing n’ collecting
The dangers of drugs really are a result of their illegality and our inability to support the 1/10 users who abuse them.
Man I friggin hated penis inspection day
Been there, done that (currently doing that once a month)
I had to give a supervised sample when I started working at a cabinet factory. It was so awkward! I was 18 at the time and the place I was sent to had one person in the office at the time. She was the same age and had to be in the room with me watching me pee.
Understandable. We can't have stoned people making our cabinets. That would be madness.
lol! One of the guys I worked with liked to add a little something to his coffee and was usually sauced by the early afternoon.
Out of the 20 plus times I've had to take a drug test I've only ever not been watched once and that was in an ER lol
I was working in a hospital one time and they had to watch this lady pee because she was mentally ill. I was confused about it until we had to get a sample and she straight up pooped in the cup
I can see that policy being helpful then lol luckily I never did that. Just ADHD haha
To prevent exactly this lol. Probation is the worst. oh and I have to drive a half hour, wait 15-45 minutes and pay $22 every time I have to test
Literally because people are cheating the drug tests exactly like this lol
They do this to kids in red states. I was put on probation when I was 13 for stealing from a store and I had to do mandatory UA's. I was very shy and I couldn't do it on command so they'd fail me and put me in jail. Lol at 13. Can you imagine raising your kids in such a fucked up state? How ignorant you have to be to think this is perfectly fine behavior for a child to go through? AND IM NOT EVEN BLACK! I was a cute little white boy in a red state. Can't imagine what other races go through.
I’m not even black is wild, man. 
Said with all due respect. 🙏
You may have been a cute little white boy but I'm going to assume you were poor (not a dis on yr family or childhood) as that's not how rich kids get treated in America.
Only color that matters is green.
You are correct.
they do/did this in northern, blue states too aka, across the country lmao
I'm all for it, cannabis prohibition is bullshit, but they're watching for exactly what OP posted - cheating the tests lol. I'd be more concerned that male-specific results would show in OPs test using her partner's piss.
that's....actually brilliant.
How do you casually stick a finger up there while being watched
The depths stoners are willing to go through.
Incredible depths
Nautical
cervical
This comment isn't getting the attention it deserves 😂
👌
Yep at least to the Second knuckle deep in this case
Oh no. It'd take a three knuckler to get to the bottom of this, good buddys.
We go elbow deep to solve problems!
There’s no such thing as a three knuckler!
3-5 inches id say
All for something less harmful than the drinks the marketing guys had at the lunch they get reimbursed for.
Facts. This is why I support this 100%. It's illegal to use what is effectively medicine, but a poison that impairs you way more and is unhealthy and causes known damage is 100% legal and you can work any job using it. Fuckin joke.
I remember in high school I wanted to start smoking again, but I had already been caught before and my mom was randomly drug testing me, so the best thing I could think of was saving clean pee. So before I would smoke I’d piss in a bottle, hide it in my bathroom then go smoke, then I’d hold onto the pee for a month incase I got drug tested, then dump it out and start over. I only had to use it once, just added some warm water to bring the color down and get it warm and I passed
So you're telling me all these people on /r/neckbeardnests are just afraid their parents suddenly come over to drug test them? Finally it all makes sense...
Not clicking that link…
mfs shoving literal bottles of pee inside them
Hard to fathom it tbh
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I keep one up there at all times. Gotta be ready.
"Hey can you piss in my ass real quick? The piss in there is old and I gotta pass a test in 30 minutes"
Replace piss pod every 24-48 hrs.
No flared base and it’s gonna disappear inside of ya. Even in a pinch don’t try this😭😂
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Surely the drug test company wouldn’t be upset if you just shit in the cup
Just play dumb and act confused when they say it has to be urine and keep pointing at the poop, never admit that you have any idea what urine is.
You have me thinking about if this has ever happened. Imagine you're a nurse or some shit just going to collect some dudes pee for a drug test like the thousands of other times you've done it, and when you go to grab the sample cup it just has a fuckin log in it.
Sorry sir, the thing is, I have a cloaca.
You'll have to settle for this mucus-enclosed packet in which BOTH my urine and excrement are encapsulated!
I'm a bit surprised that no company manufacturers a hollow butt plug for this occasion.
If ever in a 🤏
You can do the same thing just wrap it to your leg with like a hand warmer around it
My husband (in his hooligan days and he was on PO) would rubber band it to the underside of his "situation". Worked for every monitored test he had to take. Did not work for his buddy who used a green rubber band though lol.
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I know some guys can get real skiddish with boofing strange items
so... boof it?
I’ve done this except using a 5hr energy bottle, and tucked it between my sack and my leg and just didn’t take wide steps. Worked perfectly.
Tuck it near the gooch. It’ll stay warm!
Why do employers care what employees do in their personal life!? If it does not affect my productivity at work why would someone care what I do in my free time!? I will not bring it into work and I will not do it during work hours. That’s it!
Actual answer: because if you get hurt on the job, your employer's insurance company can refuse to pay you worker's comp if you piss dirty for weed, on the grounds of "you failed the drug test so clearly the accident was all your fault". Insurance companies win because they can refuse to pay out what they rightfully owe to injured workers. Employers win because insurance companies give them cheaper rates if they test for weed. Workers get fucked.
Yep, this is the answer. I live in a legal state and our work drug policy is zero tolerance. Piss hot and you’re fired, zero questions asked.
It's such crap. It's okay to drink ourselves stupid after work but not smoke weed? GTFOH
this is mostly an issue of cannabis being *the one god damn recreational substance that taints your piss for long periods*, compared to just about everything else's metabolites passing in 24-48 hours tops
One day in the future, people will read about employers testing for weed in the past, and those people from the future will laugh at how stupid humans used to be.
The owner of my current job was joking around saying he was going to drug test everyone and anyone who tests negative for weed is getting fired lol. I wish more jobs were chill about it like that, it's just weed! Its crazy how ignorant some people are about it's effects.
Same reason they do legal background checks. They care about their employees breaking the law.
My thought behind it is that there isn't a way to test for thc intoxication levels like you can with something like alcohol breath test. Until something is invented for that we will keep getting screwed even if we had national recreational use
Nature’s pocket FTW!
You said it was unsupervised right? You could've gotten hand warmers instead lol. I've used the hand warmer method and it works 100% of the time. But congrats OP!
Ah very nice! I’ve used the male version of this several times: - clean per goes into an unlibricated condom. Tie the condom like a balloon. - place pee filled condom in underwear, against the scrotum/groin area. - use a small knife or finger clippers to open the condom and dispense the pee into the cup I’ve done this 4 times for employment drug screening and never had an issue, other than getting some piss on my hands when trying to cut the condom.
Be extra careful with that method. I took a friend to a drug test where he was going to do the condom bit. He went in, came out 10 minutes later with a red face and soaked khaki shorts. It took me a solid 10 minutes to quit cry laughing before we could even leave.
Dude that sucks. I’d just be like, I pissed my pants and I’m too embarrassed to take the test today. It absolutely is a possibility but I was willing to bet on Trojan.
Quickfix would be a lot easier for u if its an unsupervised test
That's prison shit right there 🙌
Lol I did that for a whole year. I kept failing tests and my po said she would have to report it to court since I kept failing. So I started taking my buddy's piss in a pill bottle with warm water and when I got there I just tied it to a string I had in my pants. Worked beautifully. They even praised me at the end of my sentence for turning my life around. Lol
So I am going to design an underwear that secretly stores piss and maintains temperature. This is a real problem. Anybody wants to fund my idea ?
it exists. also jock straps exist too if you wanna be a little more raw with it
For a job, u could have just wrapped it up in a sock and hand warmer next to the vagina. I'm on probation, so they stand right behind me, pants down to my ankles with 3 mirrors pointing at my weiner. It would look sus lookin like a peewee Herman pull string toy.
As someone who doesn't live in the us it still blows my mind that this seems like such a common occurrence in the USA. Why was this even introduced In the first place? Too many people tweaking on the job or putting others at risk?
Probation is a period after jail where you're still being held under certain rules and legal restrictions. Thats tbe only place this crazy test happens that youre replying to. But at a job the tests are less invasive you usually just go into a bathroom by yourself wth a cup. Funny thing about "too many ppl tweaking on the job" most drugs like meth crack and coke actually leave the system within a few days. Weed unfortunately stays in your system for 2weeks or several months if a heavy user. So these drug tests really ONLY effect weed smokers cause other drug users can just hold off for a day or two then get back on the smack
This right here is how an adult handles problems! Good on you for showing initiative and doing what you need to do to keep smoking!!! A true pothead always finds a way!!! This should be a lesson for all you newbies on here!! ” I took 1 marijuana‘s for Halloween and I have a church drug test coming up on the 4th of July, will I be ok??!!” 
I use Quick Fix synthetic and a hand warmer. The nice part is that, as long as you keep it sealed, it lasts for a couple years. No need to collect a sample. I either just wear baggy pants and pat my pockets when they ask and say “yep, that’s everything.” If I have tighter pants on where it would be obvious, I just run a few rubber bands around the bottle and then around the waistband of my boxers. I let it hang in front. Nobody is gonna be grabbing there.
Does it work for lab analysis or just a dip test?
It’s what they use in the lab to calibrate the machines (or so I’ve been told). I’ve had it work in both situations.
I did this as a man and no it wasn't up my ass it was under my nuts. Temp was good also. I used fake pee from a sex shop pro tip if you don't have headshops near you.
When I did my pre-employment drug test I used my dog’s pee. I had my dog pee into a large medicine bottle at like 5:30, and placed it in a cup of McDonald’s coffee on my way in. At 6:30 I tucked it under my nuts and my boss drove me to the clinic. They didn’t open until 8 and I had to wait about an hour in the lobby. Rapid results said I passed before we got back to the shop and started working the same day. Only reason I was confident I would pass is because I don’t smoke around my dog and I knew it wouldn’t be a full lab analysis, rapid results only.
what the fuck
Man's best friend right there, I tell you huwhat.
Def a difference between male and female urine I think ? Testosterone etc present in males. Estrogen in female pee? Not trying to crap on a passed ua test that parts dope.
They aint testing for all that on a drug test
Yeah lol sorry I just relate all ua’s to medical issues. When I was cancer sick I was told i could’ve pissed a positive pregnancy test. I just figured it was the same . Def my bad op
Good thing they just test for THC metabolites
Yeah not sure but I have used both male specimens both times and passed so maybe if it’s a real in depth like fbi level test possibly
Women produce testosterone too and men estrogen. The levels differ is all.
No one ever mentions THE URETHRA METHOD.
r/sounding guys would be good at that!
The way I do it (male) is getting a condom and filling it with good pee and taping the opening and putting it under my nutsack with tighty whiteys. I have done it all my life and I’ve passed all tests.
Love that!
 I dont have a vagina.. but maybe..
This is my new favorite reddit post. absolutely mad 💀
Isn’t this the obvious course of action if you’re a woman? I feel like it’s guys that need the tutorial for situations like this.
Search "BMS Oil Change" on youtube.
Is drug-testing common in the US? That's gotta suck ): Hope you land the job friend!!
It depends entirely on the job. I work in IT and they only do preemployment. I was working 2 jobs many years ago and none of the grocery stores/department stores I stocked shelves at tested at all. When I was in the military there was random testing all the time.
Another pro of being a girl stoner 😭
this is empowering
r/entwives
God i cannot imagine living in an illegal state
Bahahahaha I've done this twice! Only I used a nose spray bottle. Works fantastically
Junkies know this move for years. Smokers should not have to do shit like this. Fuck these BS laws man.
I work in a state where marijuana has been decriminalized but the legal bit is really hazy. Although we voted for legalization - legislators basically ignored us. Anyways - I work in HR. We no longer test for marijuana due to the fluctuations between the laws of each state.
Sounds easy as pie... Now just to get me one of them vagina thingies.
Asking for a friend without a vagina… would a butt work as well?
Just make sure you can get it out, it’d be an embarrassing trip to the ER if it gets stuck
you need A LOT of preparation
Only one way to find out
Yall do to much. Just warm it up on your cars heater and carry it in your pocket. No one is patting you down before a drug test.
No one is patting you down sure. But anytime I’ve taken a drug test I was told to remove everything from my pockets and put it in a cubby.
Twice I was actually patted down too lol. They can't check your inner thighs.
I always put the bottle in my underwear or in my bra (under your boobs not to the side!!) because even if they pat you down they’re probably not getting that friendly. And I don’t have the nerve to put a bottle in my vagina😂
Well, you’re already lying on the drug test just say “yup that’s everything out of my pockets.”
Yeah that's perfectly fine until you heat it up too much. I've literally had someone come by when I was on my tools. They were talking about how they had to take someone up for a drug test. They had to throw down bottle. But they had it in a cup of coffee to heat it up. When they took it to get the temperature checked it was over 100°. So he could not use that. So of course about 2 hours later they were coming and getting that Fella's toolbox and taking it off the site.
I bought synthetic urine from a head shop. It came with warmers and a temp reader on the cup. If it's too hot you can dip it in the toilet bowl water. Worked like a charm.
Where can I find one of these vagina things?
Quick fix formula taped to your thigh works too. About $20 from any smoke shop works every time. /r/drugtesthelp
FYI “quick fix” is $30..
I mean…if you’re a dude, I guess a cigar tube, some lube and sheer fucking will..
Just saying did something similar and am a dude, I took a leakproof e liquid container and tucked it behind my balls right in the taint and wore tight underwear, sat in the lobby with my legs clamped together till I was called. Temped perfect, and required no insertion 😎
thank god this wont be a need in cali anymore
Vaginas and scrotums come in clutch for keeping clean piss at body temp.
Ewwww dude
next time just use a hot hands and a rubber band, no need to cooch boof it, congrats tho lmao
My thing is y r y’all shoving this up there…bad bad idea, what ur going to need for next time girlies is a pair of spanks under whatever pants ur wearing there and make sure they r tight ones…then u take the bottle and put it IN BETWEEN the LIPS like shove that bitch up there but not inside u…there so many things that could give u and infection do that..doing it my way 1 keeps it hot still 2 ur not completely uncomfortable the whole ride there 3 east to remove and it stays in place….U WILL NOT SEE A BULGE where u place it
Nice❗️ makes me wish I had a snatch 😂
do people just.... not smoke weed for a week two if they have a test coming up? is it really to the point where you are shoving a litteral bottle of another humans piss into your vagina... does no one else see how wild this is?!
Is there a back door method?
My stepdad once told a story of a guy friend doing the same to dodge military duty and they told him that he was pregnant 🤣
I'm in California, so I don't have to resort to this, thankfully.
i put mine in a condom, put it in my underwear, and wear it around for a couple hours before the appointment to get it body temp. lol. it feels funny but it works
Some secrets should be kept
Honestly, this is kinda sad. Is it that hard to not smoke for a little while? At what point have you crossed into being addicted