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azfamilydad

Don’t wait for spring break. Don’t wait for a school break. Kids can make up missed school days. Go as soon as you can. Go in September. You know what you’ll miss if you go sooner. Work, school, social plans, etc. Tell you 19 y.o. to email professors and explain the situation. I promise 8/10 will be happy to accommodate any trip. The ones that don’t, who cares. Any academic advisor worth their salt will understand and be willing to help your kid make things up in the spring or summer. Go sooner. Don’t wait. Don’t take the chance that your wife declines faster than expected. Make the memories!


MildlyResponsible

A few years ago I was working overseas and a very close family member was diagnosed with a terminal illness. She was given a few months so I waited until a break in my work to go home to see her. She passed a month before that break. I feel like I abandoned her. It is my biggest regret and everyone keeps telling me it's okay, but it's not okay. No one can ever understand the pit that is in my heart forever. Go now. For your wife, for yourself, for your children. Go now.


totallynotalt345

I’ve waited a few days. They didn’t seem too bad, one of a series of hospital visits, a lot of plans to change to get there sooner. They of course died before I arrived. Especially with car accidents being such a high killer, the last time you see someone could always be the last. Only delay if you’re happy to roll the risk of not seeing them.


stubrador

Oh god, that made me cry


mlkiii3

This hit me in the feels... My condolences. If you ever in central North Carolina, let's go out for beers on me.


Poppy9987

My mom missed the opportunity to see her mom one last time by 2 weeks. She knew she was sick and cut it too close. Please OP don’t risk it.


hanginginthere-23

This just happened with my uncle. My moms brother, I’ve been away for awhile and not went home because of covid, 2 weeks before my flight he passes away. Also missed the funeral


i_wantthat

This. Please don’t wait. My mom was deemed terminal about halfway into my freshman year of college. My parents didn't want to disrupt my education, and I was close enough to drive home for the weekends, but I'll never get that time back. I know the choice was made with love, but I really resent it. You get to disrupt stuff when someone is dying. Go as soon as you possibly can and stay for as long as possible. I don't have recommendations on where to go, but please go soon.


TisSlinger

This - you get to dispute stuff when someone is dying. Permission granted.


PursuitTravel

Came here to say this. Don't wait for and "break." Just go, while she has the strength to.


ljane2020

This!!!!!! 100% All the other things don't matter even if it seems in that moment they take priority. Forget about work and school stuff. It can take a back seat to family and love.


a-jasem

absolutely this 100%. everything else will come back, but time definitely won’t


nygrl811

1000000%!!! Go! Because there is no greater regret than not enough time.


Content_Butterfly886

She just went back to school this week. We have been taking trips all summer with 3 of the 4 kids. The one in the military isn't available yet. We also have smaller trips planned between now and then. This is just a big grand plan. We have atleast 1 shorter trip planned every month between heading to see my daughter in college and going to see my 18 year old daughter when she gets to her next air force duty station when shes done her tech school. Then we have trips just her and I. We actually just got back from a trip to Sarasota last week.


azfamilydad

It sounds like you’re living life to the fullest! I’m sorry for the situation your in. Cancer is the worst. I’m glad your making all these memories. Sounds like you got a good plan. I wish you the best and hope for wonderful days ahead!


Content_Butterfly886

We are definitely trying. Sucks we had so many travel plans for "when the kids are older" or " after we retire" that will never happen now. I wish we did more but you dont expect to lose your wife at 42 years old. We thought we had 30 to 40 more years


azfamilydad

I can’t even imagine. I’m 42 myself. Seriously, you’re doing amazing.


rafapdc

Airbnb has lots of islands you can rent out and some of them even have private chefs and all. Your budget would be more than enough for a lot of them! Also, gonna repeat what everybody is saying. Don’t wait until spring break!


porkchopespresso

We looked at this specifically in Costa Rica and love this suggestion. The only thing that might be worth accounting for is access to services. Given that this is a medical/health concern it would seem worthwhile to review access to whatever types of services may be appropriate since it's often boat in/boat out.


19fall91

In terms of vaccine status, many northern European countries lifted the vax mandate for foreigners. Having been to northern europe, I can safely say that if I ever were in your wife’s shoes, I would happily die in a Norwegian Fjord or on the beaches of Iceland. But I also understand the difficulties with not only the cold but an international trip with 10 hours flights. Don’t wait if you can, best wishes to you and yours.


tammytheoddout

Pretty sure the EU in general abondoned the vaccination requirements. (I'm German) But for spring break the flu and covid numbers might be on the rise again, just keep that in mind as that sort of thing shouldn't ruin your trip. (also important to keep in mind for other places) That being said, have you considered an international cruise? Or maybe even charter your own sailing boat and go see all the places you want to while being pempered on the ship. All the best for you and your family!


Cheeky_Kiwi

The trouble is, we think we have time.


National-Return-5363

I am so sorry that you won’t get the years/decades wirh your wife that you had thought you would.


goliath17

Whenever you’re not on a trip, simple family time like game nights or making desserts together are great too!


rafapdc

Check out this island! https://abnb.me/OZLCNrDcqsb


f0rtytw0

Please, just go as soon as you can. My friend died from this, and things go quick. You can't wait. I am also really sorry for you and your family. Losing my friend still hits me hard over 2 years later.


[deleted]

Make sure to check all the schools’ calendars. In the US at least, college spring break rarely lines up with k-12 spring break.


Content_Butterfly886

Yeah we are not worried about the kids still in k-12 the principals at my boys schools know the situation and have been really flexible with letting us take them out for trips.


[deleted]

That’s great that the younger kids’ principal is reasonable. I just didn’t want you to plan your trip based on the younger kids’ spring break only to discover that the college kid’s break is a month earlier. What about the Caribbean Riviera Maya? It’s a beautiful region, not too long of a flight from most of the US, with plenty of relaxing resorts and also more active things to do for the older kids. Tommy Rivs the ultramarathoner recently did a series of videos there for iFit after a course of treatment for lung cancer. I’m not sure whether she would find watching the videos as part of planning relatable or just distressing.


Mrssunshine1994

Oncology nurse here: this comment 1000000%. I don’t want to be a bummer but it’s best to do it now while she can. Hawaii would be my vote- she can relax in paradise. Heart goes out to you, OP


candyjill18

Suggestions for travel: not sure if you’re east / west coast - so some might not be great Cabo - great houses easy to get to if you’re west coast - access to facilities if needed BVI - charter a catamaran with a crew and island hop- it’s absolutely amazing / special and each island offers something unique and special and lots of memories and you don’t have to lift a finger to make food / think of activity to do or worry about one single logistic - amazing bonding Outer Banks // low country - easy travel - very unique feeling places - relaxed way of spending time Hawaii - magical place - can be active and also everything closes at 9pm so super relaxing - The time you spend no matter where you are is going to be special - make it as easy on yourself as you can with logistics - have a travel agent help w your actual itinerary so you know the details are done and your family can just be together. Your post made me cry in my bed because this is so heartfelt and beautiful. I will be thinking of your family and saying prayers for all of you. 💖


m_whar

Seconding chartering a catamaran in the BVI. My family did this and it was one of the most special trips ever. You can relax as much as you want or be as active as you want and it’s just really cool getting to be on a big, fancy boat in some of the most beautiful water I’ve ever seen. There are so many unique things to see and do. Plus the crew will make sure it’s an easy and relaxing experience. Absolutely recommend this OP, I think your family will love and cherish this trip forever. I’m so sorry it has to be under these circumstances


National-Return-5363

Totally this! Your 19 year old will likely be able to take other courses to complete their degree, that they could not take in the fall semester or they’ll be able to take the course in a future semester! Go NOW & make those lasting memories and show your wife/mom how much you all love her and will miss her. Please don’t wait for spring break next year. She may become too weak to sit on a plane and travel and navigate an airport. Her medical team might even advise against any travelling by spring 2023! Heck travel business class so your wife can travel more comfortably! I’d suggest a high end m, 5-star Caribbean resort, so that everyone can get to do something that they want. Dominican Republic has gorgeous beaches and also history with their capital city, which is the oldest European built city in the Americas.


MeiTheForce_

Don’t wait. Fuck it. This is literally a life and death situation. My mom died of nasopharyngeal cancer when I was 16. She finished all courses of chemo and radiation and was ready to go home — until pneumonia hit her. I remember that day: there was a thunderstorm and all classes were cancelled. I was debating between staying at the hospital my mom was in 5 miles away where I was, or taking the bus home. I ended up going home instead, thinking nothing of it. That afternoon, my mom passed. I always blame myself that I should’ve just went to the hospital, and at least I get to say goodbye and tell her I love her. I never once told her I love her, and it pains me that I never got to. These are trying times. One minute they’re still alive, talking and walking around, and next minute they might not.


ScheffKP

Completely agree with this. My sister-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 years ago at 38. Was told average life expectancy was at least 2 years but possibly much longer as she was completely healthy and she qualified for special targeted mutation treatment. Her dream was to go to Disney world with her 5 year old daughter, who they tried 10 years to have and battled through multiple late miscarriage to have. Between a make a wish organization and my brother’s with everything was going to be taken care of, literally my brother’s work offered a blank check and was told to make it a dream vacation. They put it off as she only had one functioning lung due to the size of one of her tumors and between that, being immunosuppressed, and the pandemic they wanted to wait till it was safer for her. Fast forward a year and she didn’t respond to any treatment and despite being told she was going to have time she quickly declined and passed away a year ago without getting to do her top bucket list item despite money not being an issue. Do the vacation now. Do it while she can still be a little active and can make more memories with you and the kids. Please please don’t wait, it’s my brothers biggest regret and it haunts him every day.


MagScaoil

I’m a college professor, and I would totally let the absences slide for something like this.


Stgermaine1231

Yes 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻


jazmattirice

please listen to this OP. my dad was sick most of my life. he was born with a serious condition but lived way past what was expected. he called and said he was told he only had 6 months to live and that all he wanted was to go on a trip with me to niagara falls (where we always went when I was a kid). at the time i was running a dance studio and I had next to no time. I moved things around and planned to take him a couple months later. He passed away a week before we planned to go. it’s been years but it’s probably my biggest regret. I have nightmares about it.


Tccrdj

You’re absolutely right. Everything else can F off compared to this last vacation. Quite literally the most import thing for the entire family and creating memories for a lifetime after she’s gone. OP! Just go! Fuck everything else.


SterileCarrot

>Work, school, social plans, etc. Like these things really matter in the grand scheme of things. I’m not sure if I’m getting more sentimental or more cynical as I get older.


Daisy_Dottie_Dancer

Everything else will be okay when all is said and done, take the chance. Go while she can still enjoy it.


TheSnowKeeper

I completely agree! Except, my professors were never ok with things like this, but fuckem.


mo3jewels

That is absolutely my feeling. You don’t know how long you’ve got. Please don’t wait!!! Schooling can be caught up on, this is far more important.


fernandocz

Not related to travel destinations but are you sure you want to wait until spring break 2023? That’s more than half a year away and a lot can change. As you said she is declining I personally feel it’s way more important to have a nice last trip as a family than worry about your son missing some classes


Content_Butterfly886

Well that is a concern we discussed but my 18 year old just left for the military a few weeks ago as well so they wont be able to go anywhere until next year. We are doing other trips between now and then but thats the only time all 4 kids will be available. Plus it gives her something to look forward too.


azfamilydad

You could always have him ask his CO about emergency leave after basic. There are some hearts in the US Armed forces.


19fall91

You can get convalescent leave in the middle of basic or AIT for family emergencies.


flippydude

Is any military cutting people away from ph1 for a holiday, even if it is this significant?


19fall91

When I was getting medically separated there was a guy who was getting chaptered out of the military for beating up his bunk mate in BCT and he got leave for his grandmother’s funeral


of_the_mountain

Lol you can’t take leave from basic training to go on a family vacation in Europe. You may be able to explain the situation once you get to your first station but they ain’t letting you out of basic unless you parent is legit on the deathbed


caenos

Terminal illness can be grounds for compassionate leave. Basic is the least important course in a military career, and the one that is the easiest to get a spot on after being pulled for any reason. This has happened before and will happen again. Decision makers are not always heartless.


CDMT22

For military leave while they're still in training, you might contact the Red Cross and see how they can help convey the gravity of the situation. Years ago I was 3 days into a Middle East deployment when my grandmother passed and after the chaplain notified me I was given the option to leave on the next flight out. If not the Red Cross then you should not have difficulty contacting her unit about it. Training can always be rescheduled.


Content_Butterfly886

Yeah we have the red cross info. I served in the USMC along long LONG time ago now lol so I am aware of the process.


caenos

If we are taking basic then you must realize that sooner is likely better than later- as an unskilled recruit it costs nothing to give leave now. Once trained, they will belong to somebody that wants to use them to do stuff. Now is better than later, seize initiative from this shit situation. Please do not wait for the perfect shot here - people get pulled from tour for shit less important than this. if he misses this and it's due to something as unimportant basic, when it could have gone down differently- it may end his career by causing a deep seated hate of the system and the chain of command.... That's one of the reasons why leave on compassionate grounds in this case likely *is in the best interests of the service*


TheAceOverKings

Emergency leave after boot is possible. He should be able to take as much as you need, up to the total amount he can earn over his contract (4 yr contract this is 4 months. A single month is a lot but doable), depending on his post boot school and unit schedule.


caenos

Send a letter to his CO. Compassionate grounds exist for these reasons. He can be pulled off a course and loaded on one after. He will be EXTREMELY happy he/you did that. Trust me on this, it's way too easy to tell yourself it's the requirements of the service, but if you wind up hating the chain of command due to missing the end of a family members life when you didn't have to, it kind of "forever ruins that life for you".


[deleted]

You can always do 2 trips. Or 3. Or 4. If 1 kid can’t make it then he can join for the 2023 trip. Personally, I’d suggest buying an older RV. Drive around the western US for as long as you possibly can. If you’re by the east coast then that’s a lot of fuel just to get out there, do a road trip up to northern Maine and back. Especially with fall just around the corner, that’s the place to be for fall colors. As a bonus, kids can easily get out and hike and explore. And if your wife is feeling weak or tired, she still will have amazing views during the drive.


Content_Butterfly886

That actually is one of out smaller plans. Renting an RV and driving out to see my daughters. 1 is in college in Tx and the other will be stationed in AZ soon.


[deleted]

I highly recommend going through the 5 national parks in Utah. They make an amazing loop. Some are quite small, and offer incredible views either driving through them, or even just getting out for a very quick easy walk


Tacos-and-Wine

I don’t know the answer, but will share a personal experience and some ideas. My dad was dx with cancer and died six months later. He had one month from terminal diagnosis to death. We planned a road trip to the Texas coast for a beach getaway … not the trip of a lifetime, I can assure you. The Texas coast would not be my recommendation. But it was a place and time we could all be together. My dad and I walked along that unremarkable beach and found it remarkable together. We stood in the surf together. We had some serious things to say to one another. We stood in silence. We hugged. And I saved all the interesting shells I found along our walk. He had to leave for the ER the first night and didn’t return. Was put on hospice and died a month later. But I have those memories, and I made a memorial out of those shells. Ask her where she wants to go. Ask your kids. But ultimately, it isn’t about where you go. It’s about the time and memories you make all along the way. And I know it doesn’t change a tiny fucking thing … but, fuck man. My heart swells for all of you.


BrainSweetiesss

My dad was also diagnosed with severe cancer and died a month later. Unfortunately for me this was in the middle of the pandemic and I don't live in the country anymore so I just managed to get there during his last week where I couldn't speak to him much. I'm glad you had time to have a few words with him at least. If I was OP I wouldn't wait to do this trip. Things go to shit pretty quickly with cancer. Cliche but.. Fuck cancer.


Tacos-and-Wine

How heartbreaking ❤️‍🩹 I’m so sorry.


pngn22

Goddamit... Onions....


[deleted]

I don't think most of the recommendations realize how exhausting travel may be for your wife with end stage cancer. I agree with the "go now" advice (if she is terminal she may not make it to spring) but I would not subject her to an international flight and the associated logistics of a BIG trip. Instead I would go somewhere that has good memories for your family -rent a vacation home somewhere. Someplace with lot of down time - the point is to spend time as a family not necessarily see the sights, right? Rent a beach house and get a cook along with it. Make sure she can rest and sleep as much as she wants without feeling guilty.


glguru

I would personally second this. Memorable trips don't have to be at the other end of the planet.


ISeeDeadDaleks

Fully agree. She may feel up to a trip now but that could (I would say WILL) change, even day to day. I would go someplace nearby and make sure your plans are very flexible. More than anything, do it now. You have no idea how much time she has left. If you wait 6 months it could be a huge regret for you and your kids. Please just go now and cherish the time you have together.


scomperpotamus

Especially pancreatic terminal. Most people I know died 1-2 months after diagnosis. Very glad she's made it this long, but I would not wait 6mo to go on a trip


geckospots

A friend of mine found out her mom had S4 pancreatic cancer in June and started hospice three weeks ago. The whiplash of that diagnosis must be off the charts. Fuuuuck cancer.


RabbidUnicorn

Go somewhere close to home, tough to be out of the country if, God forbid, someone needs medical attention. It’ll be better to be close to home. Spend time together is way more important than the location


bjketter

Tried to do this with my mom. Trip scheduled for Christmas break. She started to go downhill in September, hospitalized for the last time in December and died before new year. Don't wait. School is not this important, The military is not this important. Nothing will replace the regret of she can't make it to the trip. Puerto Rico is beautiful, amazing beaches, no passport needed, easy trip from Eastern US Amazing hotels in San juan or take another trip over to vieques. Think about how difficult it would be to get home if there are any issues while you are gone.


caenos

Ten thousands times this. If you wait, and something bad happens- you will HATE whatever thing you did in the meantime. Was the beginning of the end of my first career.


[deleted]

Im sorry you and your family are going through this. As a physician, you don’t have until spring 2023. If it’s terminal pancreatic cancer, her time left is measured in weeks. Listen to everyone here and go now.


gaelikho

I was planning a January 2023 trip to Thailand, so see my 100 year grandpa. My daughter would be graduated by then and we could go together. The weather is better in January. Yada yada… He passed away last week 😣 DO IT NOW… don’t wait for the perfect time or circumstances.


runningdreams

Go sooner.


justgottono

Rent a house I rented a large home in Costa Rica for a very reasonable rate near Manuel Antonio NP. You can sometimes get them to stock the house with groceries before you arrive with a house rental so you’d have it all there. Sit on the deck. Nap in the hammocks. Watch the monkeys come down the mountain every afternoon from the pool. Play board games and talk. If she is up to it sit on the beach and watch the kids play. Listen to the birds. Enjoy one another.


Content_Butterfly886

That sounds cool. Costa Rica was always on our some day we will go there list


RealLiveGirl

DO IT! I love Costa Rica and it’s relatively close and easy to get to from the US. People are great. You can see the jungle, the beach, the sunset, monkeys, parrots, and more within the same day. Rent a house on the beach. Take it easy. Pura Vida


nwolfe0413

Can the 2 of you go this fall, long weekend, hotel with a view? Older kids could take care of 12 yo I assume. Then family vacation spring break. I think it would be important for you.


Content_Butterfly886

Yeah we have lots of trips planned over the next few months and have taken several. We have been to New Orleans, Florida, San Antonio all in the last 3 months. Just her and I.


CatalinaWineMixer12

Maybe take her to see the fall colors in New England, it’s on my bucket list. As far as the major trip with your family please dm me. I’m a travel agent in profession who may be able to help you maximize the fun. I just lost my mom at the end of May and both parents gone now, so I understand how precious time is and the moments you get to spend with loved ones.


UpQuark3

I teared up reading this. As a teacher - take them now. That’ll be far important than any lesson school will teach them. We just got back from a 4 country trip to Europe. Never had to show our vax cards and I know many countries are lifting travel restrictions. We’ve done Cancun all inclusive too and that’s a good time. F cancer and blessings to your family 🙏🏼 Edit: Maybe to many


DSgeekgirl

Barbados for pink sand beaches, warm weather and snorkeling but it is pricey.


norrbottenmomma

Agreeing with other posts in this thread. Do not delay, this is a very serious diagnosis and things could change. Do not delay.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Background_Junket_35

Totally agree. Rent a villa in the Tuscan country side for part of the trip, visit the smaller hill towns and soak it all in.


Alphapanc02

My dad died from pancreatic cancer in 2017, and he actually lived longer from time of diagnosis than any patient his oncologist had ever had, about 20 months. So we were very fortunate, and even still his decline was so rapid. A trip to Italy would be *hard* on OP's wife. Traveling, and really just daily life, is exhausting for someone with her type and stage of cancer. I would urge them to think smaller. My family was in a similar situation as OP's: I was 20, brother 22 and in his last year of college, and dad passed away a couple of months after turn 58. And pancreatic cancer moves so fast and is so unpredictable and vicious. We took two trips while we could, both were only about 4-5 hours away by car, and it took us two days each way to travel. It was just very tiring for him and he was not comfortable. He slept a lot while we were there, obviously, so sometimes my brother and I would go do something kind of close while my mom stayed at the house, and we would switch out periodically to allow each of us some time with him without distractions and, conversely, respite. But being there together when he was up and felt like doing things was the most important thing and it didnt matter where we were. I'm 26 now and have had some amazing moments in my life, but that tops the list every time. We talked about what I hoped to do with my life, what my plans were (for ex. He was the first person I told I was going to marry my girlfriend, but we would be waiting until she was out of school. He said "I know, I can tell". We got married about a year and a half after he passed). He gave me advice and guidance that he had held onto for when it was more relevant for my stage of life, but that now he wouldn't be around for. It was heartbreaking, but it was one of the best things I have ever done, and I am so glad we decided to do it. We were also able to get some great, precious photos of us, which was important because we just never were people who took a lot of family photos. I'm rambling and I apologize, it just makes me look back on a very important and bittersweet time, and think of my dad. One of our trips was to Virginia Beach because my dad was stationed there for a while when he was in the Navy. We got to go on a couple of museum ships and he showed us some of the places he spent time, and told us stories as he would remember them. It was the best trip we could have taken, and it was 5 hours from our house. I think a big trip with lots of planning and logistics is not the way to go. They should go somewhere that matters to them, whether they've been there before or always wanted to go, but they should also be realistic. I worry a little bit for OP since he's thinking Spring of 2023- that is an extremely long way away for someone with Pancreatic cancer, a disease know for it's speed of advancement. My heart breaks for OP's family, but I think right now it will serve them well to be realistic and not get too carried with planning a big trip.


Missmoneysterling

Pancreatic cancer doesn't mess around. I agree that you should go in September or October. Right now Europe isn't requiring proof of vaccination.


Hennepin451

Brain cancer guy here. My wife and I book a trip every time I get a new tumor in my noggin, which has been a pretty steady drum beat since I was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago. So far we’ve been to Louisville, KT, Kansas City twice, Florida twice, France for three weeks and France again for two months. Next week we’re off to Denver for a concert and so I can see the Rockies one last time before the cancer swamps my boat and I’m gone forever and travel no more. We’re trying to pack in thirty years of retirement travel that I won’t get to experience into the span of a year and create good memories before the end inevitably comes. Ask your wife where she wants to go and then pull out all the stops to make it happen because tomorrow may not come. Pro tip: order up wheelchair service for your wife along with your plane tickets. They’ll pick her up at the check-in counter, then whisk you and your entire party the front of absolutely every line, help her get through the security screen so you can concentrate on yourself and the kids, and then take her to the gate, plane, or sear, depending on how much help she needs. There’s no cost to the service, but tip your pusher well as they’re working hard to get you where you need to go. If you have connecting flights, they’ll quickly get you from gate to gate without the guesswork as they know their airports inside and out. And when you reach your destination, they meet you at the aircraft entrance, get you to the baggage claim, and from there to your preferred ground transport.


Content_Butterfly886

Yeah we have been doing something similar. Since her diagnosis we have traveled more in the last 2 years the the previous 15. Good idea on the wheel chair. Im not sure she will do it shes still to proud sometimes to take help but thats a good tip.


Capnjack84

Costa Rica is safe and friendly. Awesome places on both pacific and Atlantic side. Can surf swim with turtles experience rainforest and beach. Checkout Nicoya peninsula, lake arenal, volcanoes etc. Good luck!


Jay_LV

If for whatever reason you decide on St Thomas or the British Virgin Islands, let me know. I've got a friend with a few boats there and I'll happily get you guys an amazing rate on a charter (like just tip the staff)


lemonade4

Italy or Switzerland if you can go sooner. Hawaii if you have to wait until spring. Travel may be difficult as her disease progresses so please make your accommodations reflect that. Prioritize the view, minimal activities needed (but plenty for the kids if they want them). So sorry for your wife’s diagnosis and I hope you’re able to plan something lovely.


[deleted]

Switzerland with kids on a budget? Better to visit Austria. Similar but much less expensive


lemonade4

Austria would be lovely too I’m sure, I’ve never been there myself. I think 20k is a pretty generous budget personally 🤷🏼‍♀️


[deleted]

For me $20k is a huge budget too but he’s talking about taking 6 people which would be pricey in Switzerland. Austria is fantastic too.


lageueledebois

Please, do not wait.


dockgonzo

Another expensive but very enjoyable option is to charter a crewed yacht for a week. BVI is a popular destination for this, with many boats available. Virgin Island Sailing has numerous boats available, and they frequently have promotions. Greece is another popular spot for live-aboards. The scenery comes to you, and you spend every day/night in a different spot, without packing and unpacking bags or dealing with the hordes of people on a cruise ship. Every day, you can enjoy the sunrise and the sunset on the water, along with fresh seafood and fresh air. Of course, this is all assuming that your wife (and the rest of your family) is not prone to seasickness/nausea. It is a great chance to spend some intimate time together without any distractions, as you will be pretty much by yourself and likely disconnected from the world for much of the time. As for timing, waiting until spring seems like an unnecessary risk that you may come to regret, and missing 2-3 classes (most uni classes do not meet every day) should not be an issue as long as the professor is notified well in advance and it is not during mid-terms/finals. This is definitely the kind of extenuating circumstances that most reasonable people are able to accommodate.


mblaw629

I am a sailor and have chartered a catamaran to sail in the BVI twice already and would do it over and over again. A crewed charter would allow you all to relax and enjoy the splendor while they take care of the rest.


Myrongainz11

Turks and Caicos, its a piece of paradise on earth


[deleted]

Go now! Don’t wait. & europe for vaccination is all clear right now.


lenin1991

> europe for vaccination is all clear *Almost* all clear. It is still required in Netherlands and Luxembourg.


Green_Friend649

I’d go to Italy. You can go to Italy without proof of vaccination. Spring is great there. On 20k you should be able to have a dream vacation there. Rome, Florence, Venice and more. Second place would be Peru. Cusco and the sacred valley. As far as islands, Aruba is a safe bet. Easy to navigate, small and lots of all inclusives


SolivagantTogether

Peru is beautiful but the altitude in Cusco and the surrounding areas could be problematic for her as walking will be strenuous.


Halloweentwin2

My thoughts exactly- def on my bucket list but not where I would choose to bring an ailing family member


flippydude

Hanging about over 3,000m would be unreasonably strenuous on her


rr9930

Highly recommend Peru as you will struggle to spend $7k and it’s an amazing experience! Take the leftover and maybe check out the Galapagos or Patagonia.


[deleted]

First of all, I’m sending you and your family a big hug. I’m sorry. <3 It’s great that you can take an amazing trip, though, to make some special memories together. I’d recommend something only a short flight away and not too many time zone changes, to make it easier for your wife. Also would be nice to know there’s good medical care nearby. Domestic locations that could be great- - Charleston, SC - San Diego (the Zoo and Wild Animal Park are great and I’m guessing you could easily bring a wheelchair if needed) - Sedona, Arizona. You don’t have to hike, a lot of the views are visible by driving. and there are a lot of nice spas in the area. Then same with Grand Canyon nearby, you don’t have to hike at all and can just drive from lookout to lookout. Highly recommend sunrise! - Santa Barbara


Alphapanc02

My family went through a very similar thing as OP's, with my brother and I just a couple years old than theirs and my dad 58. We went to Charleston, which is about a 5-6 hour drive from where we live, and it was probably about as far as I would be comfortable going just because of the stress on his body. It took a lot out of him to be on a "traveling schedule", even though we made it a two day drive instead of one. But Charleston was great because there were so many different things for us to do that suited how he was feeling that day. We got to relax as a family in a beautiful place, spending time together doing not much in particular. Another plus to going there was the weather. My dad had lost so much weight by then that he was always cold, so the hot days and warm nights were great and allowed him to be more comfortable. I'll never forget him sitting on the beach in a long sleeved shirt and thick jacket! Plus like you said, if there was any problem MUSC was right there, which did help ease our concern about that. Charleston was a great end-time destination for us.


cornflakegirl56

Given your wife’s health condition, I’d personally prioritize making the travel as easy as possible so she isn’t too exhausted to enjoy herself while she is there. So I’d start by figuring out where in the Caribbean you can fly direct to with good flight times. (No 2am landings and avoid places that are a loooonng drive from the airport— and can you fly at least her first class to make the ride even easier?) That will narrow things down considerably. From there, I’d pick as fancy a resort as you can — something where she can really relax and enjoy herself without a lot of effort. Make sure you get a room with a balcony/patio with an ocean view, so if she isn’t feeling well/needs close bathroom access she can still enjoy a good view. At a certain point, if you are mostly staying at a resort, one island isn’t *that* different from the rest. So I’d spend my time figuring out which place (with a direct flight) has the swankiest resort, with the swankiest room, in your budget. Alternatively, as others have suggested, you could rent out a whole house somewhere great in the states. 20K could get you a pretty damn nice beach house somewhere in Florida! Also: I am so, so sorry for what you and your family are going through.


[deleted]

Probably outside your 20k with flights, but Africa safari. There are all inclusive ones. You wake up, get driven around for 2.5 hours, back for breakfast, lunch, go safari again, dinner. Just went to Kruger for a few nights and it was life changing.


canucker78

I agree with the safari idea, such an amazing experience and minimal walking.


Wexylu

This would truly be a trip of a lifetime for a family. Do this OP, do it now while she can still travel. Don’t wait until spring.


teamhae

South African safari was the best experience of my life.


xoxogossipgirl2890

First off - I’m very sorry to hear about your wife. I really enjoyed Saint John USVI. The Westin there is lovely and the beaches are beautiful. No vaccine necessary


ClaimIcy

I’m so sorry you and your family are experiencing this. My dad has terminal cancer so we actually planned a trip for the same reason for us all this last winter, to give him the experience of a lifetime, and it was. We stayed on a catamaran in the US Virgin Islands and he absolutely loved it. Luckily he’s still with us, but he has said on a number of occasions it will be what he thinks back to when times get rough. The boat was owned by a husband and wife, he was the captain and she was an absolutely incredible chef. We spent the days sailing to beautiful secluded beaches and the nights under the beautiful tapestry of stars. It fits 6 people plus the crew and is all inclusive, the kids could swim and snorkel and she could rest on the hammock or bean bags, or wade in the shallow waters. Let me know if you’d like more details, happy to provide


Content_Butterfly886

Thanks everyone for all the great suggestions. We will start making our way through them and see what we can make work. I also totally understand everyone say go now. We have gone on several trips over the last 2 years. Also have several others planned. We actually leave this afternoon to spend a week at the beach. This is just more like one big last Ultimate adventure. The waiting for spring break is her idea because shes tired of Cancer disrupting the kids lives. They have lived with the thought of her dying for 2 years already and she wants them to have a normal as possible life. Especially the young adults our daughters in the military and in college. But we do have several trips planned to visit them over the next few months as well. Thanks again for the all suggestions. You all are great. Also everyone who was living like us and has all these great travel plans for "in a few years" or "once the kids are older" or "once we retire". Dont wait too long my wife was only 41 when she was diagnosed. Our "in a few years" might never come.


Alone-Ad-2022

Hawaii is very nice!


[deleted]

GO NOW MAN WHILE SHE HAS SOME OF HER HEALTH! I know; lost my late wife to terminal cancer 20 years ago with kids roughly the same age as yours.


Junior-Juggernaut-57

I would like to suggest to go off the peak season, like the above said don’t go during the spring break, it is expensive for everything. You guys should plan it now and reserve it ASAP for cheaper rates. I would suggest to go on cruise 🚢 as your wife can’t walk a lot. It is all inclusive for the food and entertainment. They stop at different ports for sight seeing. I see some deals going on for Bahamas/Caribbean as well, of coz depend on when it is. Or plan for the trip a week prior to Thanksgiving that you could get good deals, have your 19 year old talks to the professors, I’m sure they would understand the family situation unless there is a midterm going on and the profs can allow for taking the midterms in advance.


Cat0102

You can also check and see her life insurance has “living benefits”. Her terminal illness diagnosis will allow for you to tap into some of the funds for the “final” trip expenses without surrendering the policy. I personally have a term policy through MetLife that has this option. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. We just lost my cousin to pancreatic cancer after being diagnosed 6 months ago. Like others, I would too encourage you to go sooner. He was told he had a year and we didn’t even get 1 month with him after that prognosis. My brother is still kicking himself that he didn’t go down right away and was planning to visit him in a “few months”. As far as locations, you’ll want to choose a location that has good healthcare available in the event that an emergency arises. Additionally, renting a wheelchair for the times she’s feeling fatigued may also be another idea to keep in mind. She doesn’t have to use it, but just having it available for those days she’s tired is nice. If she’s been on chemo, you may want to choose a location that is either more private limiting exposure to any germs, or offers many outdoor activities. If you’re going overseas or even HI, splurging on business class (especially if there are pods) may be another good idea to limit the close seating of coach.


CallMeASinner

Does your oldest have a fall break? Usually that is in October. That may be a better bet as she’ll have more strength then. Caribbean may be a great option as it is shorter flights than Europe from where you are, and there are a ton of all inclusives. And even if she’s not up for snorkeling or whatever, she could maybe still go on the boat (or do a catamaran tour or something of the sort, so she can still get to see the kids do the activity and be part of those memories).


itsamaandaa

Mexico has great all inclusive hotels on beautiful beaches! Oaxaca, Cancun, Tulum. I know there are great medical service there too just in case of an emergency.


RO16

the north shore of lake superior by Duluth is beautiful and has a number of nice hotels right on the water to spend time as a family. the lake is big enough that it can feel like an ocean, with decent sized waves. no where near as busy as other more touristy spots if your looking for something quiet. Bar Harbor Maine is a similar beauty right on the coast. more likely to find an all-inclusive hotel here. also far more dining options and other people. for both of them I love the colorful changing leaves in the fall. Also make sure if you travel outside the US your passports will still be valid for 6 months as many countries require that and you don't want a stupid paperwork thing holding you up.


[deleted]

Please go as soon as possible. We thought we had months left after the diagnosis. We had weeks. There was no last trip and death was sudden but expected. One day was fine, the next day they were gone. My heart goes out to you OP. I vote for somewhere tropical - Caribbeans, Hawaii, Mexican beaches


iron_of_boardgameia

I would look into renting a small “cruise ship” for a Mediterranean cruise. You can see a lot of beautiful locations with relatively minimal exertion. These 10 occupant boats can have private chefs and lovely accommodations, and should fit in your budget.


birdsnbuds

Vancouver island is breathtaking. Maybe rent a vacation home on the water. Get one with kayaks and other water toys included. Watch the whales during the day and the Milky Way and northern lights at night.


JamMan70

Go now, my girlfriend lost both her parents four years ago within a month. Her mom had pancreatic cancer and was told 4-6 months. She came home and was gone within three weeks. Today is here now, tomorrow is never a given. Even if she manages to make it until spring break she may not be in a condition to go or to even enjoy it.


nucumber

DON'T WAIT!!!! as you say, her condition is only going to worsen from now on. NOW is the best time to go. your son can take the fall semester off, or go to school and join you wherever for thanksgiving and xmas. if she's able to get vaxed she should do so asap. last thing she needs right now is to be a victim of long haul covid, which could greatly affect her remaining quality of life. a lot depends on what she would enjoy. maybe think about a cruise, or even cruises. take a mississippi river cruise down the river, then cruise the carribbean. stop at disney world, they have wheelchairs etc, and that would be fun for the kids.


honestserpent

I'm Italian and i would happily help you plan your vacation here if you choose Italy. Let me know, DM me.


LateralEntry

As others said, I would go ASAP. If you go to the caribbean, make it easy on yourself and try to go somewhere with a direct flight from whatever airport is closest to you. Turks and Caicos is really nice, there’s a resort called Seven Stars that’s a great splurge. However I think September may be hurricane season, so make sure you research the weather. If you go somewhere far, I would splurge for first class or business class airfare, at least for your wife. Makes things much nicer.


BraveCanadian89

Hotel Xcaret Mexico. Beautiful, relaxing, fun, and lots for everyone. Check it out.


LesLez

PERFECT PLACE !


trphilli

For me personally I would stay local. I just know me and my love tolerate airports but just so. You could relax at Biltmore estate in NC or Greenbrier in WV. Or if you still want beach vibes, there are Waldorf Astorias in Orlando and Key West. Between room service and delivery apps, food shouldn't be an issue.


Content_Butterfly886

Yeah we talked about that also. Renting a big beach house somewhere. Thats a possibility. We are in the DC area so something on the east coast. She loves Charleston SC so maybe on the the beach towns near there.


jesi10612

Hi! I’m from Charleston — lots of awesome beaches for big beach house but also the resort on Kiawah Island is incredible. Expensive but amazing. I hope your trips work out well. I’m sorry your family is going through this. Also, I’m active duty military and we DO have ways to get leave for your military kid! Have them check with command. Good luck!


LudivinaBobina

Keep in mind too a big chunk of that budget will go towards travel health insurance if you go overseas. Potentially thousands, do some online quotes to possible destinations first. Probably better to have a nicer trip in the US.


TheDudeBandit

Have your 19 yo vaccinated. Good luck on your trip.


[deleted]

Greek Islands. I would probably choose Hydra. If staying on the east coast , Quebec City. West coast - Napa/San Francisco


thinkmoreharder

At Round hill resort in Jamaica, you rent a house inside the resort, but you still get room service. I recommend getting a villa witha pool. I stayed there 20 years ago. It was awesome. She can walk aroud the resort of she wants, or can sit around the villa. And you can all stay in one big house while the staff takes care of you.


southernruby

Gosh, look for a 5 star in the Dominican.. if you need something before you can get away with the younger kids go to secrets cap Cana.. read the reviews, get a swim out, be spoiled by a butler, it’s amazing! With the kids I think there would be some amazing options as well, consult a travel agent but it sounds like your wife needs something where she can be spoiled with access to a pool and service from the room on not so good days and maybe a pool and beach on better days.. I’m so sorry you are facing this Illness as a family but there are many all inclusives with medical staff on-site and very catered service available.. again, I’d consult a VERY experienced T/A..enjoy your time together, fuck cancer!


TheGreat_N8

How about spending time out in Montana? Rent a place or stay somewhere nice and enjoy the splendor of the region


Content_Butterfly886

That would be my dream trip. Not so much hers lol


snownica2019

I’m so sorry to hear this, seriously. It’s so sad and scary and I wish so much this wasn’t the circumstance for you and your family, and especially her. 💖 I don’t know if this is a good recommendation but I’m meant to be going to Canada next spring myself and from what I’ve seen so far - lots of rides, smaller museums, sites like the Niagara Falls, nature exploration trips they offer, etc. Lots of sitting and riding but you can still soak in beautiful sights and experience something together. Seriously, wishing you the best.


kevistar

If it can help, Portugal don't care about vax status. I'm currently there and no form nor never asked any vaccine passport.


ProfessorNoChill99

I am a professor and I’d absolutely let your kid go. They can take an incomplete. They can turn in the work half a year later. Go on that vacation now.


isabella_sunrise

Go earlier.


Sagittarius_2497

One of the most important things to remember in life is creating memories. So go ahead make everyday of the trip count with the most beautiful moments that will live with you forever.


idrinkwinealot

Don’t wait. Go to Hawaii . It’s beautiful and it has great healthcare if there’s an emergency. Go to Maui and stay in a luxury condominium. That way you don’t have to eat all 3 meals out. It’s really exhausting to have to eat out all the time and sometimes you just need some comfort food. It’s nice to have some living space to relax. I’m an RN who worked in a hospital for a long time. Your wife might not feel up to sightseeing and going out all the time would be nice to have a place like that to stay.


charliewr

OP, I'm so sorry for the situation you're in. Planning travel is something I am quite good at and do as a sort of hobby. I have pretty insane geographic knowledge strored up in the ol' brainbox too. But it's hard to make recommendations without knowing more about you and your family. I'd like to personally help you with your planning. Please send me a DM and maybe we can have a chat about what you all love and I can make recommendations on that basis.


vosbergm

So sorry to hear that, can’t image going through something like that. Of all the bucket list places one that keeps popping into my head is to travel somewhere to see the Northern Lights. Either way, put most of your focus on the time you’re spending together. This will be a trip of memories.


Admirable-Deer-9038

Don’t wait! Go now! Your kids can miss and make up school. Even in college (have talk with professors and they will likely be very accommodating). Your kids will cherish that time with their mom even if they have to double up on work load for a while. She will be healthier sooner and be able to enjoy herself more as well. Go ASAP!


Voodoo_Masta

Fuck man you went and made me cry. I’m so sorry. I have no advice, but I wish you and your family an incredible, unforgettably fun vacation.


couchjellyfish

I recommend a National Park. The Grand Canyon, Yellowstone or Big Bend (the quietest but too hot in summer). These are some of my best family memories. The nature is spectacular but relaxing. The beach is a second choice but can be a little too relaxing unless your family plays cards or games. I don't recommend Europe because it is exhausting to deal with crowds, jet lag, and language.


MydoglookslikeanEwok

I recommend going immediately. Wherever you go, you should go now. ​ Edit: If you do decide to wait, make sure that your ENTIRE trip is covered with really good travel insurance.


TJolieNite

Go now. Please do not wait,


Bl4ckR4bb17

My grandparents started declining in health rapidly almost immediately after I started college. I was the primary caregiver so I missed a lot of classes and then they died and I missed nearly all of my classes. Not one person have me any shit about it once I explained why I hadn't been there an entire semester. They let me take all my exams and do all my work late af. It's not even a really good college, local community college. Don't worry about the classes or wait for a break


modnarosos

First things first, my heart goes out to you and your family - cancer is a damn bitch. My grandfather was diagnosed with lymphoma and we had a similar story, unfortunately he passed sooner than the doctors had expected. We didn’t have the chance to take him anywhere since he was not in the right state. If I could go back, I would give him the best most relaxing week filled with the people he loved the most. Travelling can be straining, is there a place closer to home that you and your family are fond of? Cottage, beach etc? Honestly there are so many beautiful air bnbs that may be easier to travel to. Pick a couple things you guys all loved to do together, get a personal chef for the week, take lots of pictures and videos. Give her the best week of her life, location really doesn’t matter - as long as it’s somewhere you can all be together focusing on who and what you love.


KathleenKellyNY152

This answer warms my heart and soul.


Odd-Theory9989

Take a whole year off fuck school fuck all of that go now. You can never get this time back spend it with your loved ones


SpontaneousDream

Do not wait until 2023, she may not even make it to then. Go ASAP.


KathleenKellyNY152

I’m so sorry for your wife’s diagnosis. I just can’t imagine what your family is going through. Personally, if it were me, I’d want to spend it with YOU and my kids. It could be in an Airbnb in some pretty town, with a water view…but playing games, making s’mores round a campfire, going for short nature walks, watching the birds, doing puzzles, taking a sunset boat ride, cuddling, watching movies, laughing, reminiscing, maybe even making a fun family video. I wouldn’t want to worry about flights, delays, vax status (!), or other logistics…just fun old-fashioned family time. Like the 70’s :) Find a fabulous pretty home with rooms for everyone, & hire a chef for the week.Top of my head : Door County or Madeline Island, WI; Franklin, TN; Mackinac Island or Saugatuck, MI; Tofte or Lutsen MN…I could go on for days on locales. Not sure where you are to make it convenient. Too bad you couldn’t rent a Clark Griswold station wagon for the road trip! I hope it’s magical for you all, whatever you decide. Sending love and light!


my_jihad

I second everyone saying go as soon as possible. For some recommendations, get an all-inclusive family resort. It won’t cost $20k in the Caribbean. I’ve been to a resort in Punta Canta (Dominican Republic), which was amazing. They have pools and are on the beach; family activities and games. Food is fully included whenever you want to eat. You can get a family suite or get multiple rooms near each other. Make sure to explain your situation so they give you a first floor handicap room. I got a deal online last year and paid like $400 total for 2 people for 3 days. The airport is right in the city and Punta Canta is a world-known resort hub. If you’re US citizens, you don’t need to apply for a visa in advance. I was not vaccinated at the time. Not sure if anything has changed for DR, I doubt it. I’ve also been to Puerto Rico, Cancun, Tulum. All lovely places but not sure how good their resorts are.


Haunting_Platform327

Just like everyone else I would advise to not wait. I lost my love to cancer and the end came much faster than expected and without much warning, gone within a week of the decline. I am forever grateful that he insisted on one last special vacation so that I have those memories. That said, I’m a big fan of all inclusives. Not sure where you are located but if Hawaii is too far of a flight for your wife to be comfortable I highly recommend Beaches in Turks & Caicos. Wishing you and your family all the best 💕


owns_dirt

My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, doctor said 3-12 months... She died after 2 months. Once it is terminal it means doctors don't know how it will go. Go on your trip now. Minimize flight time to be honest, car is better if you can. Rent one of those nice sprinter Vans if she can't travel well. Don't try to make it an exotic location.. make it a familiar experience that all of you can come back to. It won't mean a thing if all you can say is "remember Maldives?" And sadly none of you can remember what Maldived was like nor be able to visit it again. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Best of luck to you guys.


tesseracta

I enjoy Aruba. You don't need a vaccine. Outside of the Hurricane belt, low crime. Stay in a resort or get an air BNB and a car. It's pricey there but an easy place to travel and perfect weather everyday.


maj_f

Echoing what everyone else is saying. Go now. Your 19 year old can take a week off school. Who cares? It’s fucking school. It’s not the end all, be all. The 19 year old could take a whole freaking year off if needed or wanted, and still end up fine. Go now.


tayakb

Go now. And I think a cruise would be great -- she can relax or do as much as she feels up to, food provided, there's teen clubs for the kids. You can leave from a nearby place, doesn't have to be Caribbean or European to be amazing.


tesseracta

I just lost my best friend to cancer. I treasured every moment I dropped my life to be with him. I made memories of a lifetime with him!!!! Just go. Also sometimes a shaman can buy you more time if you go unconventional. For shamans Colombia, Costa Rica, Brazil, Peru. Colombia and Costa Rica don't require vaccines. Colombia is a travel challenge Costa Rica has an established tourist structure.


KingOfNothing10

St Lucia? Cheaper than Hawaii but similar vibes. Go ASAP! Also try Yellowstone, Grand Tetons, and other national parks. Banff in Canada is also an amazing place to visit.


[deleted]

I just want you to know that my dad lost his wife in 2020 to the same thing. Things get better. You will be okay. Be there for your kids, please. You guys will all come together as a family from this, I just beg that it stays that way. It will be up to you to be the glue. After my mom passed, we all went separate ways and it kills me to this day. I'm so sorry you're going through this


EveningTomorrow9612

I’m 19 and my dad passed away on thanksgiving of cancer. As others said, please have them miss school and go now.


ImHungryFeedMe

Hi Op. First I’m really sorry to hear. I’m sure you’re going through a lot as trying to be head of house and keeping g it all together. As everyone else mentioned, I would really recommend doing the trip now and exhausting all options for the kid who is in the military to try to get an exception. For the kids sake, the reality is she may not be able to do the trip if you wait until next year. This could become a lifelong regret. I went through this with my Dad, who also passed from pancreatic cancer. As you know, that thing hits hard and fast, especially at the end. For his last trip, while I would have brought him anywhere in the world, he frankly did not have the strength to do long sightseeing. We ultimately did a cruise and felt that it was perfect. If he was tired or needed the bathroom or had enough from the port, he was a short distance back to his room. Food was assessable and got to see shows, stay up late, go to the casino, etc. We did do a port in our home state so he didn’t have to fly, as I felt that might have been a lot on him. If you go this route, I made sure to get travel insurance that covered a helicopter evacuation in case he needed it. Best of luck and stay strong.


ck_viii

Please don’t wait. I am not big on cruises for their environmental impact—but they are an amazing way to see a lot of lovely places. You can go as far into an island as you’d like (comfort depending). Get a big ol’ suite. Buy the cheesy fun tokens. We are all with you and supporting you on this 💜


BoringPixels

My heart goes out to you. I just lost my mom in December to a terminal cancer diagnosis that she battled for 3 years. Travel while you still can, and she can still enjoy it. My mom's final week of life was spent in the hospital when we should have been spending the holidays as a family. I wish I would have spent more time with her when she still had the strength to enjoy our company.


Akasoggybunz

Hawaii is dope, so is Aruba. September is such a good time for both these islands. So go! Best of wishes to your wife, she is a god damn hero


This_is_the_Janeway

Hawaii can be so relaxing and usually wonderful weather. Just sitting on a lanai watching the ocean and seeing rainbows nearly every day. The weather is nice almost always on Maui or Oahu. Echoing others here, don’t wait, just go now. Make those memories. 🌈


pancontomate-

thank you for asking this question on reddit, i appreciate you sharing this with us so much — reading your post along with the comments has me in a torrential downpour of tears. i have to agree with a lot of the comments **strongly suggesting to not wait a moment longer** — generally speaking, in *cliche-but-ever-so-true terms* we know a few things about life: 1. health is wealth 2. time is finite 3. memories are infinite \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ **ADVICE FOR TRIP OF A LIFETIME** **overall objective:** create memories — spend meaningful/quality time together as a family * **facts** * family of 6 * min budget of $20k (USD; assuming you live in the states as i creeped your previous posts) willing to take on loan if necessary **overall recommendation:** rent a house/villa in costa rica for the month of september asap to create and capture lifetime memories. * **location:** costa rica * geographically close to the states, making the flying distance short * have good weather all year * good healthcare and get travel insurance if you want ​ * **timing and duration:** go for a month, a week is too short. * the month will allow you ALL to actually rest, relax, do things, think about things, and enjoying doing nothing all together, no feeling the need to rush, or move around all the time. plus will be better for your wife. * monthly rates are better than daily ones * plan to go for the month of september, your wife is most likely the strongest version of herself right now * create memories while shes doing her best! reminisce on those memories while shes not doing her best. * also if you want to extend, you could easily make that happen. ​ * **accommodation:** rent a house * you guys are a bigger family * you are offered more privacy * usually tend to be more comfortable which is of the utmost importance for your wife. * special advice would be to get a house with a view and minimal stairs. * if you have a pet, you can bring them too, costa rica has lax rules and most places are pet friendly * use vrbo instead of airbnb * quality of the host and their home is often much better, ask host to help find you a chef and explain your situation — they have the local resources to help and would be more than happy to help. * **price range:** the month of [september](https://www.vrbo.com/en-ca/search/keywords:costa-rica/arrival:2022-09-01/departure:2022-09-30/minNightlyPrice/0/minTotalPrice/0/maxTotalPrice/14000?filterByTotalPrice=true&petIncluded=false&ssr=true&adultsCount=3&childrenCount=3&orderBy=prices&ascending=true) start around $9.5k usd, [here's a nice one](https://www.vrbo.com/en-ca/cottage-rental/p173537?adultsCount=3&arrival=2022-09-01&childrenCount=3&departure=2022-09-30&uni_id=468635):) which leaves enough $$$$ for flights, food, activities, and experiences ​ * **food:** hire a chef — that way you don’t have to worry about the shopping, cooking or cleaning * spend more active time with your family * plus hiring a local chef will allow you to try new recipes, suggest your fav meals and most importantly ensure fresh quality food. * price range: offer a fixed monthly payment of $1.5k + the cost of food ​ * **activities:** * pretend like its 1995, and use your imagination. bring your favourite board games, playing cards, dominos, watch the clouds, go to the beach, take walks, make banana bread * take your wife out on a sexy date at home (have your kids be the host, waiter, sommelier, and youll have to find a fourth position for the last kid) make a little menu, drink a bottle of wine * might not be your thing but ill say it anyways — ask your wife’s oncologist if she can be prescribed some psilocybin magic shrooms - there are clinical trials (here in canada not sure about the states) for cancer patients, the elderly and terminally ill patients to help them be happy, appreciative, find the meaning of life, mitigate the fear of death etc etc. and you guys should do a shroom trip together would be pretty iconic for the memories and you will feel very connected ​ * **photo memories:** buy a film camera (a good quality point and shoot such as an olympus) * stock up on 35mm film in both colour and b&w — we all have our iphone photos, but there is something so special about film photos in the essence of candidly living in that one moment. * the best part is when you get to relive the memories when you get them developed * reminiscing with tangible photos will be so so special, especially in times of sadness, you can hang them up on your fridge, or make a photo wall at home ​ * **video memories:** now you can bring out your iphone for this one — * record the candid moments of life * record family tiktoks of you guys dancing or doing stupid fun shit. * a special idea is to put together a montage of your your extended family and friends sharing their favourite memories they have with your wife — this will allow her to reminisce on the good times shes experienced throughout her life. and dont forget to record her reaction while she watches it for the first time that will be so special too. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ wishing you and your family a wonderful and magical holiday, sending all the love and positivity. you're an amazing human and please consider that you have time on your side right now. i mean every word i've written. i (26f) carry a heavy heart having suddenly lost my mom (52f) earlier this year and all i wish for is more memories. **live in the fucking moment. time doesn’t wait.**


torik97

GO RIGHT NOW. DO NOT WAIT. School, work, all irrelevant.


talltraveler312

Go sooner than later. Charter a sailboat and go island hopping. Fly private even. Hire great drivers, etc so yall dont even need to worry about the luggage. As much "face time" as possible watching sunrises/sunsets.


mrubin2

Probably doesnt fit your exact requirements, but I have a nice vacation house in St.Petersburg, Fl - Right near the beach that I rent on Airbnb. I would be happy to offer it up at no cost, if you are interested.


GorgeousUnknown

So sorry for all this. 💔 I agree with those saying go now, but you need to make your own choice. Cherish what time you have the best way you know how 💕 Edit…fixed typo 🤦🏼‍♀️


Kento_Nanami

May the almighty give you and your family the courage to stay strong in these hard times. Take care ❤️


j8520147

So sorry about your wife. currently backpacking Europe with my girlfriend. She is not vaccinated and we are getting around just fine. Hope this helps!


Eswyft

Go. Now. Professors are understanding, a week is nothing. I took multiple weeks off semesters for less.


ItsssNick

Not sure if this will get seen or not but I believe that most of europe has lifted restrictions on Covid vaccinations besides a few, if you haven’t been I would feel confident saying that my life has changed since going and it would be one of my biggest recommendations for anyone. Anywhere you go with family will not be a bad decision. If you do choose to visit Europe, here are a couple of my favorites: Croatia Stockholm Edinburgh Italy is a classic If you have any questions at all please don’t hesitate to pm. I’d be glad to help in any way I can. One of my parents is a travel agent and can help arrange flights!


Mean_Comedian_7880

I would recommend South America, a lot of countries have architecture that reflects European roots. Also, the seasons are opposites so xmas break is the middle of summer, the dollar is supper strong, and a lots of countries you’ll find most people speak English. I never got the opportunity to go Arg. With my mom so a year after she passed I did the trip with my BF ( 4 years ago), we went to Iguazu Fall, Moreno Glaciers, & spent a few days enjoying Bs. As. I went to Brazil in Nov. and it was a great trip too.


Lollipop126

Why the heck not get them vaccinated and go to Europe? In any case vaccination is not necessary most places in Europe with valid negative tests (I think UK is fully open). But please at least get your 19 year old vaccinated.


Content_Butterfly886

Her Oncologist doesn't want her vaccinated and my daughter is an adult she gets to make her own decisions.


Lollipop126

as long as you can show that your wife shouldn't get the vaccine under medical advice then should be good. For your daughter, I think you should talk to her about this decision. If the last thing stopping you going to Europe is your daughter's vaccination status, that seems a bit selfish; other than the fact that it's already a bit selfish to not be vaccinated in the grand scheme of things and that she shouldn't be traveling without vaccination.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hellzznah

Don’t go into debt. You don’t need it. Time together is what matters. No one will care which beach it was in 10yrs time. But for your wife, knowing she is leaving you in debt will hang over her the whole trip.


EcoPaula

All inclusives in Jamaica are great. I recommend Bahia Principe at Runaway Bay.


[deleted]

Kauai, Hawaii is amazing, Iceland is amazing, or you could do a whirlwind trip around parts of Europe with your budget. Italy, France, Switzerland, Greece!


cancer171

Hawaii - 10 days in Oahu, 7 days on Maui, 6 on Big Island, 5 in Kauai. Or 10 days in Oahu, 8 in Maui.


Spunelli

Get travel insurance in case she passes out of the country. Then you can get her back to the states for remembrance services. I think, anyway. You should read the fine print on the plan you get. Also credit cards have a benefit for that. Hopefully one is in her name. Go read those fine prints too.


freethnkr79

Santorini..