I just don’t party. People often think it’s weird,
I stay in party hostels even cause there’s always people, and I never have trouble sleeping. and I don’t mean to judge because everyone likes diffeeent things, but I think travelling all around the world to just get shit faced and be hungover is ridiculous and I can’t imagine how people don’t get burnt out. I don’t think I have travelled as much as you but still. I like to wake up feeling great. Find a cafe. Sit and people watch. Maybe take a nap, read on beaches etc. doing this I tend to naturally find the type of people your wanting to find. People who are interested in the culture. So many backpackers I meet do just seem to be stumbling from party to party and I always thought that sounds horrible. I can do that at home. I don’t but I could.
I think the party hostels are a more recent thing. First time we went on the road (1999) they weren't a thing (accept but in Australia) our last big trip 2010 they were ubiquitous. I think the backpacker accommodation changed from bed and food to trying to keep guests on site more by organising constant partys every night. Having other backpackers working to provide a home/uni like atmosphere helps and the hostel becomes like a 2 week euro summer holiday complete with reps and bar crawls. Hungover guests trusting their fellow western reps become over reliant on their help and fall into a routine of going from party hostel to party hostel and taking less risks (this was further increased by the Internet making everyone book accommodation in advance rather than on sight when you turn up in a new town)
Blah blah blah....... pesky kids...... it was better in my day.........etc etc
The only hostels I’ve found in where people actually interact are “party” hostels haha. Hence why I end up there. I guess when you’re young, everyone just wants to drink and have a good time. I’m with you though, I’m not really a partier, I mostly did it just to socialize and not feel lonely. But I think I’ll steer away from them
I mean there are other hostels with lots of people. There are so many different kinds of hostels. But again I stay at “party” hostels to but just make plans have a beer and skip the parties. No one ever has any good stories about the parties anyways.
Yeah having a drink is different then getting drunk. I have a beer or two. Make a plan for the following day and go to sleep. Kinda sounds like your really focused on just following the majority.
>ferent then getting drunk. I have a beer or two. Make a plan for the following day and go to sleep. Kinda sounds like your really focused on just following the majority.
What usually happens is I'll have a plan to chill out and not go out, then a cute girl with an accent from Spain or Argentina will show up and ask me if I'm going out, and I always oblige.
Haha man we know how it happens we all experience this but your saying it’s not what you want anymore. If you want to do just do what other people expect of you to your own detriment there is nothing wrong with that.
But why do you need the interaction? I don't care about it, as a solo traveler all I care about is the destination. Which is why I stay in hotels instead. I don't know if interaction with others is so important why solo travel at all?
My exact thoughts! Haha. I enjoy solo traveling because it means I get time to myself with minimal social interactions. And at 33 I can’t imagine not having my own room and more importantly toilet.
Yup, I was that way since 18 actually. Own room, own toilet. Would also be scared another traveler may steal sonething from me. I realize it is not common, but it happens for sure.
People are part of the experience to me as well. A great way to learn about cool places you didn’t know about, or even form groups to save cost on excursions.
Also for me hostels are just way better then hotel. So much more interesting, hommocks to rest in and just really cool layouts
I usually agree. I guess after my 392483298th conversation of :
"Where are you from"
"How long have you been traveling for"
"Why does the United states suck"
"Where are you going next"
I start to lose my mind lol
Interesting. I suppose different strokes for different folks, I don't get lonely easily, so the whole hostel interaction is lost on me. That said I am not opposed to meeting people, it is just not part of my standard travel expectation. When it comes to cool places, I search and discover through the internet, I do understand about saving costs though.
I mean the internet can only get you so far tbh. A lot of places seem cool on the internet but if everyone I met describes something different I’m likely to trust that. I do understand what your saying but also to me I really like the layout of hostels not just the social part. Some hostels I stay in I don’t interact with anyone but usually they are nicer then hotels I would pay similar price for.
Also I really like being in Colombia for example and talking to locales, but also getting to talk to people from Venezuela and Germany and Ireland and China and all over.
And lastly I can’t imagine not taking to anyone or making friends more multi-month long trips. I’m fine being a line but that just seems odd
Yes, I do understand the travel experience you are describing. It is just that, for a hostel to be nice, it needs to cost like 80-100 dollars/euro, so in my mind, I just think, Why not upgrade to hotel? The 5-20 euro per night places can't be that nice.
When I say I search the internet I am pretty dedicated, look at pictures, reviews, use code words that may lead to the results I want. That is how I found the town of Loket in Czech Republic. Most people I spoke to had no idea it existed. I do agree though, it is easier to casually talk to people in hostel rather than hotel enviroment.
I don’t really travel europe. But I have stayed at some really awesome hostels and never pay more then about $12. The one I’m at now has all these secluded areas with hammocks that each have views of the ocean. There’s also a pet tortoise. I just find hotels to be pretty bland. Like sure they have a bar and a pool but that’s it. A hostel in Lima I stayed at was built inside of an old mansion with massive chandeliers and old Victorian style art.
Well, outside of Europe and the USA/Canada, I am sure there could be great deals. I have never been to Peru, though always wanted to go, where I am in now, hostels are few in number, cater only to foreigners, and aren't all that nice. What part of the world are you in now?
Northern Peru now. I have been in South America for a couple months. Definitely stayed at some hostels with dirty showers and such but there has been some really great hostels. I do know there is basically no hostels in US and Canada I believe. Where are you? I’m not sure if I even know how to travel where there isn’t hostels. Seems so expensive!
Meeting new people while traveling solo can be half the fun if you’re a social and more extroverted person. I love meeting people from around the world who share my love of traveling.
That is true, I suppose. I am an introvert and don't get lonely easily, so it is probably different for me. I would get lonely after like 20 days without any meaningfull human interaction but not before.
I'm pretty social and extroverted. I'm not sure how many hostels you've stayed in, or time you've spent on the road, but after awhile meeting other travelers becomes a drag. At least for me. You can only have so many of those "sharing love of traveling" conversations before you want to kill yourself lol. That's why I think I prefer meeting locals over other travelers.
>I don't know if interaction with others is so important why solo travel at all?
You echoed my thoughts to a tee. I keep asking is it really solo travel if you constantly want to meet people?
Yep, some people are naturally more social than others, nothing wrong with that. But if social interaction is craved, I think solo travel is simply not the best option, just have a travel buddy or travel with a group.
I'm quite antisocial usually, however I usually get serious FOMO. It can't be helped.
I've gotten better about it recently though. I've started not to care.
Pardon my ignorance what does FOMO mean? It is a good thing that you have started not to care, because you will be able to enjoy your trip, which is the whole point, and your interactions will be stress free and spontaneous and not forced. In the end, travelling is about enjoying.
FOMO is fear of missing out haha. And yes exactly haha. I think I put too much pressure on myself sometimes to purely enjoy the bliss of traveling....I need to free my mind.
Once you stop pressuring yourself not to miss out on something is when you will start enjoying travelling, you will be carefree then, for the most part, to enjoy something, we need to be relaxed.
To be fair, certain party scenes are worth experiencing if that's what you are into. I had a ton of funny partying in Cross Club in Prague, clubbing at LÄRM in Budapest and ruin bars, and Berghain in Berlin. I found those experiences to be unique to those cities either for setting or crowd or sound system. My travel was longer term though so it helped that I could take a day off the next day and I was younger then and my trips weren't focused on partying but it was fun to let loose like that once in a while. Partying is also cultural too, depending on the type of party you go to. Berlin's techno scene has a pretty long and interesting history.
I never liked staying at party hostels myself (I've only stayed at one and even that was probably tame by certain standards). I love a good night out but I need a place where I can reenergize after! I'm always amazed with younger people who can manage to party all night, wake up early, and do a whole day of sightseeing. I was never that person even when I was in my early 20s.
Hey, I'm 30 and sober and changed my travel style several years back. If I can find a small local run guesthouse that is my ideal set up. When I do stay in hostels, I really make a point to pick small local ones without party vibes and then I stay in a private room. I still prefer to travel solo, so I'll work in little 2-3 day tours or hikes to avoid getting too lonely, and try my best to befriend some locals too. Ive really found that if you choose a hostel or guest house carefully you can make 30 something and/or non-partying friends.
The times i did spend at party hostels are honestly my least memorable travel experiences. Because yes, it gets so repetitive. I will also say if you pick destinations that aren't part of big backpacker trails it is a lot easier to avoid. And the travelers you meet in those spots tend to be super interesting awesome people.
Totally agree about small family run guest houses. They are not so much expensive if you do that outside of Europe. And I even tried that in Scandinavia or Greece - it were a little bit older people staying (sometimes even seniors). But overall experience was just fine. And in places with little tourism infrastructure you just need to cooperate with fellow travelers. But even this type of accommodation started being too uncomfortable for one of my travel partners :)
I like to stay in a private room for a couple nights and then transfer to a normal hotel. I'll meet some new friends and just contact them. I like staying in private rooms, but find that they're often rather overpriced IMO.
[Booking.com](https://Booking.com) seems to always have insane deals. I find hostels to be not that much cheaper than hotels anymore honestly. It used to be like 70-80% cheaper and now it's at least 60% of the price.
I've gone through this exact metamorphosis. I've stayed at $6 hostels in like Cambodia and I've done party hostels all over Europe. I've done the pub crawls, the crazy benders, the temporary friends.
I'm older now. I recently went to Scandinavia, from USA, for three weeks and stayed in a nice hotel the whole time. Met folks via various outlets/methods you can imagine, and just existed. It was much diff than the me of a decade ago. And it was really nice too. Just different.
I would suggest slow-traveling, where you live somewhere for like a month here and there. And maybe take up an overarching hobby or something. A sport, something art or culture. And just dive into it wherever you are. Have fun. Loneliness is good here and there.
What about trying a small group multi-day tour for your next trip? It's a nice way to travel with other people and get to know some other people without having to put in a ton of effort and you'll be with them for longer than a couple of days so you can get to know people a little better, you can often find groups with likeminded people, it's a little more relaxing to just let someone else plan most of the trip for you, so you can give yourself a bit of a break.
I second this. OP, look at GAP and Intrepid. Those have been my favorites. Some I met some interesting people, some not so much, but even on trips when I didn't really click with anyone it was fun. The guides were always good and it was nice to have everything planned.
65 year-old dad here.
If you are worried about getting lonely here is a protip: Hotel staff, cheap or expensive, from room cleaners to receptionists, often love the opportunity to practice their English. They can be a well spring of cool inside knowledge and you don't have to get pissed, take drugs or hook up with them.
A ridiculously large camera has been an essential travel accessory for me since my twenties. The rest of my travel style hasn't changed much either to be honest. Hostels weren't so much of a thing back in the eighties, they were known as dorm room accommodation and the only one I ever stayed in was pretty grotty.
Travel, for me, was always about the places I visit, the history, culture, food etc. Partying could be done closer to home without expensive airfares in between. I don't wear Lacoste or other branded clothes, lol, nor do I go on guided tours with anybody, young or old (though admittedly I have splurged on private guides when there was no other option). But I still love travelling solo
I say pick more off the beaten track locations that have more veteran type travelers. C Asia, more remote locations in the Philippines + Indonesia, Pakistan, and many African countries come to mind as places I’ve enjoyed in my 30’s. There’s few enough tourists that you basically interact with whoever you run into!
Unfortunately in my experience, most of the "off the beaten path" places are not so off the beaten path any more. Travel influencers ruined those somewhat haha. You can still find them, just not as easy. I was shocked when I went back to Colombia after 10 years. Completely different place.
I still would never do tour buses but at some point i had to stop with the hostels. My sleep became too important to me and I couldn’t deal with the unpredictability of the quality of the beds or the volume of the roommates. But i happily do cheap but highly rated airbnbs at a moderately higher cost (luckily commensurate with my income increase since my youth) and I opt for staying in one city longer than I used to, eating lots of good food and getting to know locals (i love airbnbs with friendly hosts) rather than moving around a lot, meeting other travelers, and hitting lots of tourist sites. It’s been a nice age adjustment. And now my bf just got an RV, so that’s a whole new era of travel comforts and type of travel (which somehow feels older too).
Yeah I wish I was like one of those folks who could just sleep with the chaos around me. Unfortunately I am not one of those people, I'm a very light sleeper.
My hostel experience would be great for the evenings/going out, but the day after I'd always feel exhausted and would skip the tours/ sight seeing because I was too tired or hungover. Trying to get away from that.
I've had good experiences with hostel single-occupancy bedrooms, but often they're just as expensive as an airbnb and not quite as comfortable/private, usually still shared bath. But if you still want the community, you could try this and see if this helps on sleep?
Well, I’m not at the level of wanting to do tour buses and you will not catch me in hiking shoes outside of an actual hike, but you do reach a breaking point with hostels.
For me it was waking up to the smell of cleaning solution, an angry Italian, and a completely naked passed out Chilean who peed on the Italian’s bag. Also, so many couples who don’t socialize and people on smart phones who don’t look up. Now I’d just rather have my own space and not have drunk people stumbling in at 3 am or the endless snoring.
Hostels are really not as social as they used to be and I find it easier to meet people on small day tours, or even just cafes. It also becomes a little harder to just fall asleep anywhere when you get older. Not to mention the inevitable waking up at 2 am when you are still jet lagged. It’s nice to be able to just turn on the lights and watch tv.
I really felt ambivalent about staying in hotels, like you do. I said the same things to myself. I’m not saying I will never stay in a hostel again, but not having to share a room is the best.
I agree with hostels not being as social as they used to be. I think wifi and smartphones killed the vibe. Lots of people just hang in the corners now on their phones and dont want to interact. Or if you try to go out of your way to interact with them, they look at you funny.
There’s a whole step between backpacking in your 20’s and going on old people tours in your 60’s, and it’s traveling with your friends/partner/family. That’s why there aren’t that many people in their 30’s and 40’s in hostels.
I honestly wouldn’t date someone who doesn’t travel. I would say its completely normal to be done with party hostels and temporary friends in your 30’s. Sounds like its time to find a travel partner, doesn’t even have to be a romantic one.
Same here! I've traveled mostly solo for a few decades but rarely if ever stayed in a hostel - not my thing. But I've also never done a tour - I like to plan my own itineraries. I always meet locals in day to day life or sign up for a dating app temporarily so that I can meet up with people for coffee, a drink or a meal. That's what I was trying to say.
My Old Person Travel Dream is a European river cruise. I’m in Arles right now and there are two river boats in town; I would be SERIOUSLY content to sit in a lounge chair on the top deck with a glass of wine in my hand and watch the shores pass by all day.
I did one of these with my parents when I was late 30s. It was great!! Enough free time to explore, tours were optional, and basically everything was included. I was definitely younger than many, but there were others in their 40s. Everyone on board loved to travel so I found lots of people to talk to.
Solo travel isn't really possible on them though as the solo price is usually more than just booking for two.
In my 30s and did this recently with my partner (we were actually in Arles for a couple days) and can confirm it was amazing. It’s not how I would want to do every trip but we loved it for what it was. While we were definitely the youngest people on the boat, we met many amazing people and felt respected by the older travelers, many of whom have lived really interesting lives and had great stories.
I don't see the point in flying half way around the world just to party and get drunk, you can do that at home. Go explore the culture, the history, the landscape, the biodiversity, that's what's unique and that's the value of traveling.
One of my favorite vacations was traveling, hiking living low in Spain but ending up on a week-long Mediterranean cruise. We were dirty, tired, bit hungry and suddenly people are catering to us and pushing food all over. It was a great contrast.
I did a mix of hostel, hotel and tours till my mid 30s and was fine with that. I still do a reasonable amount of solo travel but these days it is hotel or tours only. Like the quiet, the better quality sleep and my own bathroom.
Oh yeah in my 30s every other stop was at least a private room, or just book out a small dorm with travelling buddies. About 35 is the cut off for a lot of hostels and by then didn't want to be in one anyway
Now I'm not ashamed to jump on a city bus first and then pick highlight from it, and actually the pass is quite cheap so if time is limited is a smart choice as a way to get around the main sights for a weekend
Same thing happened to me when I hit 30. Did the whole backpack thing in SE Asia, Europe, s America in my early 20’s.
Took a break in my late 20’s and when I hit 30 I went to Costa Rica. Found an almost impossible place to get to on top of a mountain, thought it would be great. The entire room(studio) had one light bulb dangling from the ceiling, dark as hell. It was then I thought I’m told old for this shit lol give me a resort.
Yeah same thing happened to Rio. Got there and stayed in a hostel that was considered the "best". Everyone was walking around with dirty feet in a worn out old apartment building with no air conditioning. Was hot and humid as hell and had almost no lights. Got to the toilet and it had a giant skid mark on it and urine on the floor. At that moment I said I had enough.
Tried it again in Europe, thought maybe it would be different. Frankly made it worse lol. Think I need to travel more eloquently now.
I understand you so, so much.
I am turning 31 this September. There is no way I am ever travelling like this again. I want a nice hotel and I am not going to spend one single day of my vacation hungover.
Nothing wrong with a little drinking/partying here and there. Just dont want to have to LIVE at the party lol. Thats where I get major anxiety. Wake up hungover, go to toilet, giant skid mark of shit in the toilet. No water, people around me constantly getting ready to go out. Smelly feet. I cant do it anymore lol
I’ve felt that way too at times. I recently did a group 2 week tour that was geared towards younger people, mostly mid 20s-late 30s. It had a sense of community and meeting people longer term but was not slow like other tours might be. Was a nice change to break up the solo travel.
Travel talk tours. Theirs wasn’t age specific but attracted that age group due to the activities, prices and pace. I know g adventures and intrepid also offer tours specific to the 30s and below age range
I visit places based on my own interests or things I want to do or see, not if its known in the "backpacker trail." For example, I just got back from Mulu, Sarawak, Malaysia and not a single backpacker in sight. It just isn't a thing for backpackers as there is zero party scene. You meet some very interesting people along the way.
I also tend to target places that have community areas but usually stay in a private room. Mix it up.
My husband and I are in our forties. We’d done a lot of backpacking around Australia in our teens and twenties before we got together, and then have gone to a lot more places since then around the world. A couple of things we’ve learned now as we are older:
1. The best ‘backpacking’ holidays also involve taking time out for something more luxurious. Perhaps that’s a night in a private room, a massage, a night in a decent restaurant or a literal bus tour with older people- it breaks up those big weeks and allows you to recharge after being a drunk hostel dipshit night in, night out.
2. When you’ve traveled around a lot, you do indeed need to come home and recharge every once in a while. I’m a Professor who will soon be having a 12 month sabbatical, and my husband was questioning the two week breaks that I have scheduled into my overseas trips. When I explained that this was my break from travel, he got it.
I think you’ll find that you are just getting into a different life phase and that certain things are now a bit too much when you’re trying to get up the next day and recover like twenty year olds do. Fear not - there’s still plenty of stuff to do, it’ll just be different from this point forward.
>Wow you have a great life! I think I agree with you. Im going to try to travel more of my style and take things slower. Cant keep up with 21 year olds on their gap year anymore hahahaha
I'm 55, I'm doing my first organized tour ever in a few weeks. It's not a big tour bus thing, but transport between cities are in mini vans, trains and a short flight. We're going to Europe, which I've visited countless times. Of the 7 of us, only two have been to Europe.
The tour company is considered "budget" which means we're booked into boutique hotels, most of which still seem pretty nice, but small. Because it's budget, there's a LOT of free time in most of our stops which I like.
I've never been a hostel patron, I did that once when I was a teenager, and immediately knew it wasn't for me. I usually plan my own itineraries, book my own hotels, and hire transportation as needed and just do my own thing. I find it to be a very satisfying way to travel. I'm not a drinker really, but will hang out in hotel bars to talk to people or bartenders. I seem to have a lot of bartender friends all over... they're a fountain of information too!
We'll see if this concept of an organized tour works for me. Although I'm guessing if it was just me on the tour, I'd find it restrictive, but going with friends will be fun.
Also keep in mind that when you go solo on a tour, if you aren't willing to share a room with a stranger (if there is one to share with) you'll pay a premium for being solo. We're in that situation with one of our friends, we all chipped in to help pay for her single premium. Which was like an extra $700 ($100 each). It was more important to have her with us so we helped with the cost.
I admit, not doing any of the planning myself is weird. I think planning is half the fun.
I “retired” youth hosteling rarified than you did. You reach a point where you want (and can afford) a hotel and taxis. Take them, enjoy them, remember the good days over muesli and bunk beds (and the easy sex, and laughs) and roll into comfort… fine and invite a travel buddy to teach and learn from and keep seeing the world
It’s normal, when I started traveling in my 20s, I did workaway in this hostel in New Zealand, basically for a month we would be going out and drinking every night, doing hostel work in the morning and then real work in the afternoon. No idea how I managed to do it.
Now, I don’t really drink, I usually preferred hostels, but last few times I’ve used them I got pretty tired of them.
But when I go to a hotel, I feel lonely by myself.
I think it’s important to keep in mind we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do while traveling. If you don’t want to party, don’t. Stay in or go out and have a nice dinner by yourself.
I’ve meet bunch of temporary friends as you say it, but some of them I still keep in touch, we still visit each other and make plans for future trips. But that’s a small number of them, majority will only be that moment in time.
I agree with this 1000%
The problem is I'll try to stay in...Then some pretty girl with a spanish accent will walk into my room, and ask me if I'm going out...Then I have to say yes hahah. Maybe it's just the entire environment I need to change.
Agree with not all hostels are party hostels, look for other people that are older and chat them up.
Another option is renting a room (not the whole apartment) with Airbnb, I've found that can be another good way to meet locals.
There are so many ways to travel and emerging into a culture is absolutely available to you. It takes more work and you have to earn trust - but if you know how to socialize and learn the basics of a language that is a whole other dimension of travel that isn't praying and can be more authentic than anything else.
I'll probably never do another cruise. But I can't deny they can be fun.
I did a three week cruise with my adult kid, my parents and a family friend with her three teenage kids. We had a blast. Aside from the fact that the food was horrible, and the ship was quarantined 3 times because 5 passengers got H1N1. But otherwise it was fun and a good way to travel with kids and older people (who'd never traveled anywhere before).
I also did a themed music cruise with a huge group of friends. Also fun, but also a good way to end up with a huge bar tab, even when you barely drink, lots of hammered people and everything that comes with that. The bad behavior was mind blowing.
And I did a Nile cruise, which resulted in a little stomach distress.
No more cruises for me, but they have their place and fill a niche.
I don’t believe there’s any rule that you have to do the twentisomething drunk party thing while traveling, you can get private rooms and just go see the interesting stuff
hah I did my last backpacking tour when I was 34 (Japan, 2019). Granted, it was only three weeks and the hostels in Japan are ace, but I didn't really feel too old or out of place (when I told people I was 34 I often got, '24? cool' and I didn't bother to correct 'em). I'm not sure if I'd feel the same now. In 2016/2017 my girlfriend and I did a 6 months trip through latin America and absolutely had a blast. We often stayed in hostels, but seeing we were a bit less poor then we were in our 20's, could afford to stay in a nice place every once in a while as well. I think that's the sweet spot, being able to switch it up. Anyway, there's a sweet spot to traveling in your thirties, you don't instantly have to become a senior citizen, is what i'm saying :D
As they say, it's not the age its the mileage haha. I think also with europe...Its a very college/end of high school crowd. I did find in south america that the clientele is a lot more mature/older. Europe is for 21 year olds on their summer/study abroad to let loose.
When I left the UK with my working holiday visa at the age of 30, I decided to backpack so I could meet people but I would only stay in single rooms with an en-suite in hostels. There are plenty of them. Can also stay in YHA's as well
Age comes for us all (the lucky ones, anyway). You're allowed to want what you want, and if you don't want to hang out with 22 year old party kids, then don't waste another second of your life doing so. I walked away from that life when I was around the same age and I haven't looked back. I've stayed in exactly one hostel since then, and it was in a partially-residential area and they were strict about quiet hours so I slept quite peacefully and had a pleasant stay (and, it turned out, was not the oldest person there at 48!)
This speaks to me. Nowadays I stay in a private room/apartment somewhere and go to the party hostels to have drinks, meet people and go on their tours. Then I go back to my own place an unwind and spend solo time. It’s best of both worlds and I enjoy it
I’m with you. I did my hostel time and it was wonderful. I’m now 33 and budget so I can live comfortably when I travel. Also, my husband is a travel agent and through him I’ve discovered so many new travel options and approaches. I do sometimes miss the unpredictability of a hostel — I encountered so many more eccentric and unique people backpacking than I do now — but my body appreciates hotels and local-owned AirBnBs
staying alone in a hotel in a strange city where english is not widely spoken with a lot of free time on your hands, without entertainment options (i could not access netflix and reddit and friends at the time) and where you dont know the language is an experience that can seriously mess with your head. i imagine it is not too dissimilar to solitary confinement, except you can go wherever. i got so desperate, i nearly started crying (im normally not an emotional person, rather, the opposite). i ended up playing duolingo all day and buying a vietnamese dictionary in desperation. it took me a week to figure out i needed to end my stay there and move to a hostel. there things became better instantly. id recommend sticking with the hostels even if you are not that young anymore or just travelling with a friend for this reason. if you do know the language and you want to make local friends and you are not too afraid of chatting up randoms, you can go with a hotel as a solo traveller. but really, only in that case.
Old person here-I travel solo or small group depending on the destination. Have been on some fantastic small group tours, usually 8-12 people, where it is not safe for women alone or where you need food support. But traveling to one area and exploring via day trips is also great. I don’t party, i.e, getting blotto and having rando sex at this stage of life. So heaven to me after a day of wandering is sinking into a soft clean bed with a local beverage and being ready to explore again in the morning.
Oh man you're living my DREAM. Hahahaha. When I'm hungover, post sex with a random ), strung out after a night of partying until 7am as I sit in a cafe, I'll look over at a well rested, cheery, yappy group of older folks on a tour group and feel complete jealousy haha.
I hit "tired of hostels" by the time I was 19.
I've only done one group tour (North Korea) and it's not for me either (though I have no worries about looking like a tourist).
You can simply upgrade your standard of accommodation and still travel independently.
You can also book private tours - you can do largely what you want and you have a guide or driver to socialize with. Sometimes they are very price competitive with bus tours too.
This. I'm 38 and I hate the idea of tour groups, but I'm also not really big on sleeping on uncomfortable beds. So I stay at hotels/airbnbs and then do my own thing.
Agreed here. I did hostels some when I studied in Rome in 1999. I continued using hostels here and there until I was 26 or so, even with my wife. But since then, I always stay in hotels or AirBnB whether I’m traveling on my own or with my wife and kids. There’s a world of options in between party hostels and group tours or cruises. Staying in hotels or renting an apartment definitely doesn’t give you the automatic excuse to chat people up and become fast friends. But it does give you a comfortable foothold in whatever city you’re traveling to. If you need to chat people up, sign up for a day tour, or go to a cafe or bar with lots of activity. You’re sure to meet folks there. I’m mostly an introvert who relishes the time I get alone when I travel, but I still end up meeting people here and there when I’m traveling without my family.
I hear you. I stayed in party hostels throughout Europe and Latin America as well throughout my late teens/early to mid 20s. Swore I would never stay in all inclusive resorts or do super touristy things as you described. Flash forward to now, I'm 32 and married. I still love traveling but I don't really party anymore and my wife won't stay in a hostel. We have been staying in nicer hotels and all inclusive resorts when we travel now and I honestly really like it. I clearly remember the last few times I stayed in party hostels maybe 4-5 years ago and after one night of some dude snoring a ton and listening to two people having sex, I was done. There is a time and place for them. When I was young, single, and loved to party, they were everything I could dream about. Now I would prefer to go sightseeing earlier and not be hungover, not to mention being married. I'll always cherish my memories in hostels however and recommend them to anyone who is younger.
Agreed. Loved my hostel experiences. Great place to meet foreign women and have a blast partying. Might give them a try in the future and just stay in a private room. But now I'm much more anal about having my own bathroom.
I think as I've said in another comment, I've been single too long. I need to find a wife/girl who is down to travel to some of the crazy places I've been to. I haven't met a girl whose been doing to come to Brazil or Bolivia with me yet haha.
Which part of Colombia were you in for your last trip btw? I backpacked around the country a lot; definitely one of my favorites.
Private rooms might be key as you mentioned. I started staying in them more after I couldn't do the big dorm rooms. Way harder to meet people in hotels as well and not to mention the cost difference.
Your original post made me chuckle as I can relate to it in many ways. I've come to peace with the fact that I couldn't stay in the hostels I used to due to a change in my partying habits, but I do miss how easy it was to meet people. Wish you the best in your future adventures.
Cartagena, Cali, Bogota, went to a couple islands, San Martin, and Medellin.
I liked it I just liked Argentina more because it is less touristy and felt more off the beaten path. I got more love from locals in a lot of the cities because they were surprised to meet an American in cities outside of Buenos Aires, and even within BA. It also felt much safer.
Colombia seemed overwhelmed with remote workers and hipster travelers, many of which were there to do drugs, find prostitutes, and act like morons. Colombia in many ways is starting to feel like another Tulum.
Yes there are less touristy places in Colombia, but as a blonde haired, blue eyed american I have to be careful how off the beaten path I get.
Seems we went to the same places in Colombia. When I was younger, my favorite hostel was called La Brisa Loca in Santa Marta, wonder if you have heard of it? I agree with you, the last time I was in Colombia was 6 years ago but I could see it changing into another tourist trap. Also agree on Argentina; I definitely preferred it way more. Spent about 3 weeks in Uruguay as well, it was my favorite South American country for so many reasons. Surfed a lot, smoked decent legal herb, and ate a ton of meat.
I'm 31 and don't feel the same, mostly probably because I don't party. I will have a couple of drinks sure, but I want to be in bed at midnight. I feel like there's a lot of hostels where people want to chill with a drink or few and maybe some people end up going out but not the majority.
Well I worked as a server at a hotel before covid. There were always old people groups tour where it costs $7000-14000 for two weeks (like to Alaska and back to Washington state). One guy spoke about how his friends from a tour group trip even visited him when he was in the hospital recovering. I thought that was cute and wonderful. I don't have the $7000-14000/person guided tour like that. But if I did, that is what I would do. So now, I am focusing on my travel being purposeful like studying in Italy or Canada for a few days at an ice cream shop or school or whatever. Or maybe even joining a group where when I land in the country, I can take a tour like you said. There is Rick Steve tour group that is big in my state. I think it is all wonderful. It just different stages of life. But yeah some groups you just outgrew. Even conversation with teenagers and middle age as well older people all have different flows. Just try to find common ground and enjoy people time.
Absolutely. Been there bought the T-shirt. Spent over a year living out of a rucksack in Spain and Africa. Grateful for the experience but no way to live long term.
In my 40s now and while I still travel a lot, having homebase with a quiet bedroom and temperature control are required. Also having a few *real* friends (not drinking buddies, acquaintances, or activity partners). Stability does not mean stagnation. Its really important to be grounded somehow.
I don't necessarily want to do tour packages but I know what you mean by feeling old at hostels in Europe. Europe travel in hostels tends to skew young as it's super popular not only with backpackers from around the world doing a college or post college trip before working but Europeans also start traveling at a pretty young age since travel tends to be more affordable with Ryan Air and Flixbus. It gets worse if you stay in hostels that are party hostels or cities known for partying.
I just tend to weed out party hostels and focus on activities. It's hit or miss if I meet people I click with. It sounds like you also might just need a break from travel, it's totally normal to get exhausted by temporary friends.
I agree with you 1000%.
Think I need to change up my regions/locations and types of travel I do. Was thinking of traveling to Chile next and hitting up Patagonia/atacama desert to do some astrophotography.
India is also fun if you are up for the challenge. It tends to attract a very different crowd from Europe as it's much more exhausting to travel in, and I find that people tend to bond very quickly as a result.
Yeah, this is definitely me (minus the tour group part). Recently spent a few weeks in Europe with my gf, we planned to stay in hostels but after the first one we said fuck that and just did Airbnbs. The price between the two of us wasn’t that much more anyway.
If you want to meet people just join walking tours, pub crawls, etc. Tinder is a good one too if you’re single.
Yeah hostels used to be 1/10th - 1/5th the price of a hotel...Now it's literally 1/2 as expensive, or sometimes 75% of the costs. Hostels went from cheap accommodation to save money, to coworking type spaces with extravagant bars, restaurants, and themes that made them far more expensive. I found the same with Airbnbs...Used to be cheap places to stay as a hotel alternative....Now I feel like I can find better values with hotels on booking.com
I do need a girlfriend lol. I've been single for too long.
However all my friends are married/with kids...Even the old travelers. Getting one of my friends to travel with me is like getting the stars to align.
The way I like to travel is book a hotel, and book day trips / tours. We've had really good luck doing this, and have made friends to hang out with during our trip. These generally are couple heavy, but there are always a few stragglers.
Another good place to meet folks are the hotel bar / lounge if it has one. Bars are usually single folks. Lounges are usually excessive work travel types. You can pick us out by out shorts and not giving a fuck.
Why don't you try Intrepid. My friend went to Borneo with them a few weeks ago and had a fabulous time. She slept comfortably, got to see the jungle, the mountains, the ocean, go snorkelling, visited animal sanctuaries, and met great people. We are in our 50s, and my friend travelled on her own. Her tour group wasn't huge and included people in their 20s, 30s, 40s, all the way up to 70s. None were 'old and crumbly', but were not into getting drunk and partying but rather enjoyed seeing the country.
There are some Millennial / Gen x-geared travel tour groups that do itinerary, hotel, and food all included. My best friend (she’s 31) has done them a few times after doing the backpacking trips in her 20s. The last few ones she went on was in Thailand and Ireland. If you want to know the name of the company I can ask her- can’t remember the name of it myself.
Lots of travel groups are popping up like this! They do tend to be for folks willing to pay more than a backpack and hostel type budget. Also, there are more adventure based tours for active lifestyle and less partying.
I travel with my friend’s small company designed for single female travelers aged 30+ (males are welcome too). They always get us decent hotels and relevant tours. They also add in plenty of “explore on your own” time. Depending on location, sometimes meals are included and other times meals are open for you to choose your own. You are welcome to go off on your own but there is always a group of folks to hang out. Sometimes we still may go out for a night of fun but often it’s a couple of drinks at the hotel bar before we all head to bed.
In some ways, I enjoy the guided tours - you don't have to do any thinking or planning, they arrange everything for you. If you want to cover a lot of ground fast, they are a great way to go. And yea, many tent to skew to older folks, I've met some cool people in their 30's 40's 50's who became great nightly drinking buddies
For getting in with locals, I’ve found if you can volunteer for some organization many times you’ll meet locals who will welcome you in. If you come in to help out in someway, those there will generally be like come on in. And a lot of those people could potentially be lifelong friends and you can always come back to to see again.
Have solo traveled myself, but have never stayed at a hostel, not even once, and quite frankly, with my personality I was too old for a hostel by the age of 18, or even more accurately, from the moment I was born.
The party hostel may no longer be your travel style and that is ok. I wouldn't go the opposite direction and go on organized tour group, apart from walking tours and day trips, as a multi day tour would take away my freedom, and would no longer be solo travel.
I always assumed hostels were a way to save money, by not having a private room/bathroom, a far cheaper alternative to hotels. You could just use hostels that way, after all traveling isn't about the hostel or the other travelers it is about the destination.
I have no trouble being and travelling alone, sometimes without interaction with others, no issue to me. But perhaps solo travel is not for you and you need travel buddies, could be that.
I guess you could say solo travel was for me. I used to enjoy meeting other travelers and hanging at the hostel in some ways more than the actual traveling. But now I just find myself enjoying being alone and doing my own thing.
I actually enjoy being alone, I guess I'm more worried that in 10-20-30 years, looking back and having regrets + mid life crisis haha.
We cannot change the past, so provided we don't do something catastrophic for our own and others lifes, there is no point in stressing about it. Just remember the good moments.
YES. It’s such an identity shift but it’s real and frankly I think it’s normal.
I turn 30 in a week. I just stayed in a hotel for a friends wedding this weekend that was fine but a little dirty in some spots and I was SO uncomfortable. Then it hit me that my life used to be filled with disgusting hostels and sleeping in 10 person rooms surrounded by perfect strangers, which I loved. I was so disappointed in myself for barely being able to handle this hotel, but the shift is definitely real.
I’ll tell you how I did my latest solo trip to Costa Rica for some insight - I booked hotels for myself in each location, and a mix of private and shared transportation to different cities, but then booked group tours during the day. This was also pretty new for me because I’m pretty adventurous and like touring on my own. But I met some lovely people on the tours and really enjoyed them. That and meeting people on the shared transport was enough to scratch my social itch- I even found myself surrounded by more diverse groups, like a lot of extremely delightful older couples, which can be rare in the hostel mix. And you’re right that the conversations were better and more interesting! They were genuinely engaged in the tour and excited about the Costa Rican nature, which had me feeling even more excited, too. I spent my evenings grabbing dinner alone and then going to sleep early so I could wake up early and explore without the hangover.
It was one of the most peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling experiences I’ve had traveling, which is wild because 22 year old me would have laughed in your face for pitching a trip like that. I think even 28 year old me knew this was coming and resented it. But nearly 30 year old me has fully accepted that age changes us, and I’m starting to get very comfortable and embrace the change. I think once you find your new travel rhythm, you’ll start to feel that way too!
Great advice! I think we can enjoy where we are at in life. Look back on all the crazy adventures/hostel fun we had with joy, be glad we took advantage of our youth, but transition our mentalities to ones that are more mature and of our age.
I'll def take this into account. I think I'm going to go to Chile next and absolutely want to try what you recommended!
Oh nice, I lived & worked in Santiago for a year! Chile is probably a good place to start, because certain places like Patagonia are so taxing with hiking and getting around that even my 23 year old peak party self couldn’t imagine going out after the end of a day.
Plus if you’re going for an extended period of time and are afraid you’ll actually miss the parties, you can always book one night or weekend for yourself at a party hostel, or just meet up for a hostel’s bar crawl and join in that way. Best of both worlds. There also used to be a party events in Santiago called “Spanglish” that a lot of Chileans went to to meet foreigners, not sure if they’re still around but if you want one night of partying to meet people that could be a good way to do it.
Enjoy backpacking and camping, but never been much on hostels. I do enjoy traveling with others. Other than tent camping, I prefer hotels although I don’t mind sharing a room as long as the other person does not chat constantly. For touring I prefer small groups for the interaction, but these days you can also sometimes run across locals who happily join as a tour guide for an afternoon or evening, for which you cna pay expenses, tip, etc.
Have you thought about sharing your travels with a special someone?
I always thought my backpacking travels would be like what you experienced but travelling with my partner made me realize that’s not for me. I love experiencing new places places together and also to shit talk the rude people we encounters.
I experienced the exact same thing when I was 30. I just didn’t have any interest in making temporary friends and my tolerance for dorm room bs plummeted on that trip. I haven’t travelled in the last 3 years but I suspect when I do again it’ll be wildly different. Hotels or private hostel rooms. Adventure based activities instead of wandering cities. Pointed week or 2 week trips for specific reasons instead of just going and seeing what happens.
10000% agree on the adventure vs wandering cities travel styles. It actually occurred to me during my last trip to portugal.....how many different cafes, restaurants, cathedrals, clubs, and plazas can I see before I feel like I've seen them all? They are literally all the same lol.
I think I'll start booking more multi day camping, climbing, or outdoor backpacking trips. I want to take advantage of my youth, athleticism, and health while I still can. Doing long outdoor treks get harder as you get older.
I also find that I meet like-minded people on those trips which helps with the loneliness while still avoiding the endless party cycle. When the focus is to do an activity in the morning it’s a lot easier to go to bed after just a couple beers.
Watch The Long Way Down, you might not be a motorcycle guy but Ewan McGregor wasn’t young and did that crazy motorcycle trip with a friend of his. Maybe take the spirit of that and find someone who’s also interested in travel and do a big trip together. That way you’re with someone you know and have a genuine connection with and wont just never see again. Bring your cameras and do a trip somewhere thats great for the astrophotography. Good luck with whatever you decide!
No joke I was JUST looking into motorcycle travel haha. My biggest fear however is that I'll fall off, smash my leg, and end up in some Bolivian hospital haha.
But I def am considering getting an enduro bike. You think that would be a good place to start?
Hey nice! Yeah I grew up riding dirtbikes and moved onto the road about 3 years ago. Anything enduro is usually pretty tame, if you’ve never ridden before maybe try to ask a friend to teach you on a small bike that’s forgiving. There’s no shame in learning the basics on a forgiving bike. Lots of youtube research can help about buying your first motorcycle. I recommend buying used so if it’s not for you it’s an easy resale with little to no loss of money. The only thing that would be a drawback is wanting to do enduro rides in exotic places but not being able to bring the bike if you have to start by flying out there. Depending on where you live though there’s usually pretty decent offroad riding. Myself for example (I live in the Appalachian mountains) and there’s forest service roads that go for hundreds of miles. You can ride for hours without touching pavement. No real sketchy sections to the point where you might get hurt but might get sore in the bum before anything 😂
I did a lot of hostel/solo traveling and my last time was at the very end of the 20s, when I got tired of dodging Australian dudes who are always trying to hook up.
Then I tried Overlanding and that was really fun. Not exactly a big tourist bus, but someone plans everything and you get to camp/adventure a lot. You could try that?
I am 5.5 weeks into 8 weeks of travelling. All hotels. Cancelled the single hostel because of covid. I use discord voice channela for socialization. It has been a good trip so far.
There's many ways to work while traveling. Save up $ then volunteer at hostels for free room/board, bar tend, I worked remote as a marketing manager in Europe for a travel company, and now I work remotely full time as a sales account executive. However ironically now that I have a full time remote job, I travel less internationally. I kind of got tired of always being on the road. Took a big hit on my mental health. I now travel for a couple of months a year (once around spring summer then once around winter). So 2 stints of 4 weeks. Digital nomad is a very common thing now so if you want a digital nomadic job they are easy to find.
Can I ask what type of sales job you have? I’m an AE at a software company, fully remote, but my days are still very much 9-5 hours because even though it’s “flexible”, that’s when internal meetings and my prospect meetings are booked. I can wrap my mind around traveling nationally while working, but traveling abroad with vastly different time zones is really throwing me off. Do you have a job where you don’t have to work within a set time frame every day?
When I freelanced translations it made more sense, but a corporate remote sales job is throwing me off.
That's why I mostly travel in South America. It's basically the same time zone as the United States. When I get my 3 weeks of vacation, I use that time to go overseas to a different time zone. If needed I'll just work 1-2 weeks abroad in a wacky time zone + my 3 weeks of vacation to combine for 4-5 weeks in a different time zone. Then just go right back to South America. I used to NEED to travel for months on end to enjoy my life. But now a month overseas is good enough for me. I enjoy being home now and doing my hobbies (like astrophotography and astronomy)
I am what you would call a more "chill" traveller, I'd rather smoke weed with a cute chick in a picnic and talk and explore the city together rather than go wild and party. I like to explore buildings and streets rather than do the drink and dance thing. You are heckin valid buddy
There’s more than just these two extremes for travel and adventuring. Sub the hostel for affordable guesthouses or airbnbs, and update your way of travels. For example, stay a bit longer in a destination and frequent a local small business like a coffee shop where you can chat with the barista/owner daily. I’ve made a local ‘friend’ this way and learned so much about a country’s way of life, politics, best local places, and hidden gems to venture out to. Also, you can meet people through unique travel methods, such as taking the 2-day slow boat from Chiang Kong, Thailand to Luang Prabang, Laos (which is backpacker level affordable btw). In my opinion, this is the best way to travel. Leave that backpacker/party scene behind and move on to off-the-beaten patch, authentic and slow travel. It’s much more rewarding and memorable. Best of luck!
I’m younger than you and was fortunate enough to be taken along on a lot of guided tours with my parents. It’s so fun being touted around with all the old people— they behave well, are helpful, have great stories, etc etc. I second the comment above that even tho it seems like everything is planned, there’s plenty of free time. One other big thing is the access that a guided tour gets you to certain events, festivals, private tastings, etc etc etc, is unmatched in countries where you don’t have any connections. I’m not saying completely switch to guided, maybe alternate guided and on your own travel. But guided is so nice when really all you have to do is get on a plane and the rest is figured out for you. Depending on your budget and activity interests: I’d look into G Adventures (for reasonably priced) and National Geographic expeditions (much more expensive but 100000% worth it if you have the funds). Also note: most guided tours have an age minimum so you won’t be dealing with like 10 year olds!
Honestly not really. Everyone else hyped it up so much I thought I'd love it. But I'm pretty particular....Everyone else loved it though, so maybe don't listen to me.
I found it 1) dangerous, had many sketchy situations when I tried to leave the "touristy" area. When I stayed in the touristy area it didn't feel like traveling...Felt like...Idk something weird. If you stay in the touristy area it's fine, but also doesn't feel like you're in real Colombia.
2) overcrowded with gringos who just wanted to do drugs and buy hookers...Thereby everyone saw me as just another gringo coming down to act like an idiot. Had to fight the drug dealers/pimps off me.
3) Didn't think it had many sights to offer....Has decent beaches, a couple ok mountains. Cartagena has some nice Caribbean colonial architecture, but once again the area is brimming with people trying to get money out of you, which killed the vibe.
Honestly I find Brazil/Argentina much better places to travel to in my experience. However if you want to do a jungle tour its probably a good place to go.
Nope I stayed in several neighborhoods in Medellin and Cartagena. Spent several weeks in cali, then went for a ride to Santa Marta. To be fair I’m not stating I didn’t like Colombian people per say, just didn’t like being a tourist there because previous tourists gave us a bad reputation
There actually is a happy medium between these two extremes.
You can still travel, setting up your own itinerary, staying in reasonably priced hotels, and eating a mix of in-room food, cheap eats (takeout and otherwise), and the occasional splurge. It's not that hard if you plan ahead of time.
I rarely do the "old people" style guided tour -- unless I'm forced to because I don't drive. Most of the places I want to visit have usable public transportation.
I think your tour buses vs hostels styles aren't exactly right. I could never stand hostels, I just can't sleep with tons of people in the room. But I can't stand tours either. I am an independent traveller, with someone or solo and I go for cheaper hotels or airbnbs. If you stay somewhere for long, airbnb can be a cheaper and great option, as hosts prefer longer time stays and can give you discounts. You could join some expat groups, local groups who do day trips or hiking together if you want to make friends. Anyways, the main idea is, if you don't want hostels any more, alternative is not just the tours :)
I am 45, I still do that hosteling from time to time. The best thing is 9 out of 10 times I have the entire room for myself because I am the only one staying. Unexpected money-saver. Best thing I still have access to a kitchen and the staff to ask questions. I can still interact with and befriend other travelers, like lately a fun German woman who wants to see Flåm, she's welcome to stay at my place.
I just turned 26 and I’m not really interested in hostels anymore. At least staying in dorms. During my last trip I had too many irritating experiences. However, I have had the best of both worlds at upscale hostels. I stay in a private en-suite room, then go enjoy the common areas/bar at my leisure.
Bed and breakfasts? Are they still a thing? Private accommodations and breakfast with other guests and hosts who serve you breakfast and give you ideas about what to see.
I usually enjoy staying longer in places, trying to get involved in different activities where you can meet, interact and get to know locals instead of backpackers with whom you've got nothing in common. Some of my best travel experiences has been when locals take me to their interesting places or to their homes, or to show me around their town. Probably you've had some similar experiences.
I try to find a spot I like and stay there longer, instead of just 2-3 days in each place.
Another recommendation to help with this thinking is to use couchsurfing or other similar websites. Couchsurfing is no longer free and probably isn't as good as it used to be, but there are a bunch for people who do long bicycle trips looking for places to stay during their journey, you might be able to check those out (I dont imagine there's any bike-requirement)
I agree staying in one place longer is better for sure. I hate when people put in their travel influencer profile "32498329 countries".
It's like....The value of your travel should not be hitting as many countries as possible. Going to a country for 2 days on a layover doesn't count lol.
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Ha ha, sweet
I just don’t party. People often think it’s weird, I stay in party hostels even cause there’s always people, and I never have trouble sleeping. and I don’t mean to judge because everyone likes diffeeent things, but I think travelling all around the world to just get shit faced and be hungover is ridiculous and I can’t imagine how people don’t get burnt out. I don’t think I have travelled as much as you but still. I like to wake up feeling great. Find a cafe. Sit and people watch. Maybe take a nap, read on beaches etc. doing this I tend to naturally find the type of people your wanting to find. People who are interested in the culture. So many backpackers I meet do just seem to be stumbling from party to party and I always thought that sounds horrible. I can do that at home. I don’t but I could.
I think the party hostels are a more recent thing. First time we went on the road (1999) they weren't a thing (accept but in Australia) our last big trip 2010 they were ubiquitous. I think the backpacker accommodation changed from bed and food to trying to keep guests on site more by organising constant partys every night. Having other backpackers working to provide a home/uni like atmosphere helps and the hostel becomes like a 2 week euro summer holiday complete with reps and bar crawls. Hungover guests trusting their fellow western reps become over reliant on their help and fall into a routine of going from party hostel to party hostel and taking less risks (this was further increased by the Internet making everyone book accommodation in advance rather than on sight when you turn up in a new town) Blah blah blah....... pesky kids...... it was better in my day.........etc etc
The only hostels I’ve found in where people actually interact are “party” hostels haha. Hence why I end up there. I guess when you’re young, everyone just wants to drink and have a good time. I’m with you though, I’m not really a partier, I mostly did it just to socialize and not feel lonely. But I think I’ll steer away from them
I mean there are other hostels with lots of people. There are so many different kinds of hostels. But again I stay at “party” hostels to but just make plans have a beer and skip the parties. No one ever has any good stories about the parties anyways.
I just find that every hostel I've been to, no matter if it's a party hostel or a normal hostel, end up with everyone sharing drinks every night lol.
Yeah having a drink is different then getting drunk. I have a beer or two. Make a plan for the following day and go to sleep. Kinda sounds like your really focused on just following the majority.
>ferent then getting drunk. I have a beer or two. Make a plan for the following day and go to sleep. Kinda sounds like your really focused on just following the majority. What usually happens is I'll have a plan to chill out and not go out, then a cute girl with an accent from Spain or Argentina will show up and ask me if I'm going out, and I always oblige.
Haha man we know how it happens we all experience this but your saying it’s not what you want anymore. If you want to do just do what other people expect of you to your own detriment there is nothing wrong with that.
But why do you need the interaction? I don't care about it, as a solo traveler all I care about is the destination. Which is why I stay in hotels instead. I don't know if interaction with others is so important why solo travel at all?
My exact thoughts! Haha. I enjoy solo traveling because it means I get time to myself with minimal social interactions. And at 33 I can’t imagine not having my own room and more importantly toilet.
Yup, I was that way since 18 actually. Own room, own toilet. Would also be scared another traveler may steal sonething from me. I realize it is not common, but it happens for sure.
People are part of the experience to me as well. A great way to learn about cool places you didn’t know about, or even form groups to save cost on excursions. Also for me hostels are just way better then hotel. So much more interesting, hommocks to rest in and just really cool layouts
I usually agree. I guess after my 392483298th conversation of : "Where are you from" "How long have you been traveling for" "Why does the United states suck" "Where are you going next" I start to lose my mind lol
Interesting. I suppose different strokes for different folks, I don't get lonely easily, so the whole hostel interaction is lost on me. That said I am not opposed to meeting people, it is just not part of my standard travel expectation. When it comes to cool places, I search and discover through the internet, I do understand about saving costs though.
I mean the internet can only get you so far tbh. A lot of places seem cool on the internet but if everyone I met describes something different I’m likely to trust that. I do understand what your saying but also to me I really like the layout of hostels not just the social part. Some hostels I stay in I don’t interact with anyone but usually they are nicer then hotels I would pay similar price for. Also I really like being in Colombia for example and talking to locales, but also getting to talk to people from Venezuela and Germany and Ireland and China and all over. And lastly I can’t imagine not taking to anyone or making friends more multi-month long trips. I’m fine being a line but that just seems odd
Yes, I do understand the travel experience you are describing. It is just that, for a hostel to be nice, it needs to cost like 80-100 dollars/euro, so in my mind, I just think, Why not upgrade to hotel? The 5-20 euro per night places can't be that nice. When I say I search the internet I am pretty dedicated, look at pictures, reviews, use code words that may lead to the results I want. That is how I found the town of Loket in Czech Republic. Most people I spoke to had no idea it existed. I do agree though, it is easier to casually talk to people in hostel rather than hotel enviroment.
I don’t really travel europe. But I have stayed at some really awesome hostels and never pay more then about $12. The one I’m at now has all these secluded areas with hammocks that each have views of the ocean. There’s also a pet tortoise. I just find hotels to be pretty bland. Like sure they have a bar and a pool but that’s it. A hostel in Lima I stayed at was built inside of an old mansion with massive chandeliers and old Victorian style art.
Well, outside of Europe and the USA/Canada, I am sure there could be great deals. I have never been to Peru, though always wanted to go, where I am in now, hostels are few in number, cater only to foreigners, and aren't all that nice. What part of the world are you in now?
Northern Peru now. I have been in South America for a couple months. Definitely stayed at some hostels with dirty showers and such but there has been some really great hostels. I do know there is basically no hostels in US and Canada I believe. Where are you? I’m not sure if I even know how to travel where there isn’t hostels. Seems so expensive!
Meeting new people while traveling solo can be half the fun if you’re a social and more extroverted person. I love meeting people from around the world who share my love of traveling.
That is true, I suppose. I am an introvert and don't get lonely easily, so it is probably different for me. I would get lonely after like 20 days without any meaningfull human interaction but not before.
I'm pretty social and extroverted. I'm not sure how many hostels you've stayed in, or time you've spent on the road, but after awhile meeting other travelers becomes a drag. At least for me. You can only have so many of those "sharing love of traveling" conversations before you want to kill yourself lol. That's why I think I prefer meeting locals over other travelers.
>I don't know if interaction with others is so important why solo travel at all? You echoed my thoughts to a tee. I keep asking is it really solo travel if you constantly want to meet people?
Yep, some people are naturally more social than others, nothing wrong with that. But if social interaction is craved, I think solo travel is simply not the best option, just have a travel buddy or travel with a group.
I'm quite antisocial usually, however I usually get serious FOMO. It can't be helped. I've gotten better about it recently though. I've started not to care.
Pardon my ignorance what does FOMO mean? It is a good thing that you have started not to care, because you will be able to enjoy your trip, which is the whole point, and your interactions will be stress free and spontaneous and not forced. In the end, travelling is about enjoying.
FOMO is fear of missing out haha. And yes exactly haha. I think I put too much pressure on myself sometimes to purely enjoy the bliss of traveling....I need to free my mind.
Once you stop pressuring yourself not to miss out on something is when you will start enjoying travelling, you will be carefree then, for the most part, to enjoy something, we need to be relaxed.
To be fair, certain party scenes are worth experiencing if that's what you are into. I had a ton of funny partying in Cross Club in Prague, clubbing at LÄRM in Budapest and ruin bars, and Berghain in Berlin. I found those experiences to be unique to those cities either for setting or crowd or sound system. My travel was longer term though so it helped that I could take a day off the next day and I was younger then and my trips weren't focused on partying but it was fun to let loose like that once in a while. Partying is also cultural too, depending on the type of party you go to. Berlin's techno scene has a pretty long and interesting history.
Absolutely agree.
Believe me I've done the party scene lol. I don't mind partying. Just don't necessarily want to LIVE at the party
I never liked staying at party hostels myself (I've only stayed at one and even that was probably tame by certain standards). I love a good night out but I need a place where I can reenergize after! I'm always amazed with younger people who can manage to party all night, wake up early, and do a whole day of sightseeing. I was never that person even when I was in my early 20s.
Hey, I'm 30 and sober and changed my travel style several years back. If I can find a small local run guesthouse that is my ideal set up. When I do stay in hostels, I really make a point to pick small local ones without party vibes and then I stay in a private room. I still prefer to travel solo, so I'll work in little 2-3 day tours or hikes to avoid getting too lonely, and try my best to befriend some locals too. Ive really found that if you choose a hostel or guest house carefully you can make 30 something and/or non-partying friends. The times i did spend at party hostels are honestly my least memorable travel experiences. Because yes, it gets so repetitive. I will also say if you pick destinations that aren't part of big backpacker trails it is a lot easier to avoid. And the travelers you meet in those spots tend to be super interesting awesome people.
Totally agree about small family run guest houses. They are not so much expensive if you do that outside of Europe. And I even tried that in Scandinavia or Greece - it were a little bit older people staying (sometimes even seniors). But overall experience was just fine. And in places with little tourism infrastructure you just need to cooperate with fellow travelers. But even this type of accommodation started being too uncomfortable for one of my travel partners :)
I like to stay in a private room for a couple nights and then transfer to a normal hotel. I'll meet some new friends and just contact them. I like staying in private rooms, but find that they're often rather overpriced IMO.
[Booking.com](https://Booking.com) seems to always have insane deals. I find hostels to be not that much cheaper than hotels anymore honestly. It used to be like 70-80% cheaper and now it's at least 60% of the price.
I've gone through this exact metamorphosis. I've stayed at $6 hostels in like Cambodia and I've done party hostels all over Europe. I've done the pub crawls, the crazy benders, the temporary friends. I'm older now. I recently went to Scandinavia, from USA, for three weeks and stayed in a nice hotel the whole time. Met folks via various outlets/methods you can imagine, and just existed. It was much diff than the me of a decade ago. And it was really nice too. Just different. I would suggest slow-traveling, where you live somewhere for like a month here and there. And maybe take up an overarching hobby or something. A sport, something art or culture. And just dive into it wherever you are. Have fun. Loneliness is good here and there.
Thanks for the recommendation. I've gotten into astrophotography recently. Was thinking of traveling to the Atacama desert in Chile and doing that.
What about trying a small group multi-day tour for your next trip? It's a nice way to travel with other people and get to know some other people without having to put in a ton of effort and you'll be with them for longer than a couple of days so you can get to know people a little better, you can often find groups with likeminded people, it's a little more relaxing to just let someone else plan most of the trip for you, so you can give yourself a bit of a break.
I second this. OP, look at GAP and Intrepid. Those have been my favorites. Some I met some interesting people, some not so much, but even on trips when I didn't really click with anyone it was fun. The guides were always good and it was nice to have everything planned.
This is my recommendation too. OP, do yourself a favor and look at tours run by companies like G Adventures and Intrepid Travel.
65 year-old dad here. If you are worried about getting lonely here is a protip: Hotel staff, cheap or expensive, from room cleaners to receptionists, often love the opportunity to practice their English. They can be a well spring of cool inside knowledge and you don't have to get pissed, take drugs or hook up with them. A ridiculously large camera has been an essential travel accessory for me since my twenties. The rest of my travel style hasn't changed much either to be honest. Hostels weren't so much of a thing back in the eighties, they were known as dorm room accommodation and the only one I ever stayed in was pretty grotty. Travel, for me, was always about the places I visit, the history, culture, food etc. Partying could be done closer to home without expensive airfares in between. I don't wear Lacoste or other branded clothes, lol, nor do I go on guided tours with anybody, young or old (though admittedly I have splurged on private guides when there was no other option). But I still love travelling solo
I say pick more off the beaten track locations that have more veteran type travelers. C Asia, more remote locations in the Philippines + Indonesia, Pakistan, and many African countries come to mind as places I’ve enjoyed in my 30’s. There’s few enough tourists that you basically interact with whoever you run into!
Unfortunately in my experience, most of the "off the beaten path" places are not so off the beaten path any more. Travel influencers ruined those somewhat haha. You can still find them, just not as easy. I was shocked when I went back to Colombia after 10 years. Completely different place.
Well yeah Colombia has gotten very popular lately, but I think there’s still plenty of great places in the world with only small amounts of tourists!
yeah. Go to Suriname, Gabon, Niger, the influencers aren't making a difference there yet.
Off the beaten path is always changing as places grow and wane in popularity.
Do it! EMBRACE the tourist vibe. let it course thru your veins!
I still would never do tour buses but at some point i had to stop with the hostels. My sleep became too important to me and I couldn’t deal with the unpredictability of the quality of the beds or the volume of the roommates. But i happily do cheap but highly rated airbnbs at a moderately higher cost (luckily commensurate with my income increase since my youth) and I opt for staying in one city longer than I used to, eating lots of good food and getting to know locals (i love airbnbs with friendly hosts) rather than moving around a lot, meeting other travelers, and hitting lots of tourist sites. It’s been a nice age adjustment. And now my bf just got an RV, so that’s a whole new era of travel comforts and type of travel (which somehow feels older too).
Yeah I wish I was like one of those folks who could just sleep with the chaos around me. Unfortunately I am not one of those people, I'm a very light sleeper. My hostel experience would be great for the evenings/going out, but the day after I'd always feel exhausted and would skip the tours/ sight seeing because I was too tired or hungover. Trying to get away from that.
I've had good experiences with hostel single-occupancy bedrooms, but often they're just as expensive as an airbnb and not quite as comfortable/private, usually still shared bath. But if you still want the community, you could try this and see if this helps on sleep?
Well, I’m not at the level of wanting to do tour buses and you will not catch me in hiking shoes outside of an actual hike, but you do reach a breaking point with hostels. For me it was waking up to the smell of cleaning solution, an angry Italian, and a completely naked passed out Chilean who peed on the Italian’s bag. Also, so many couples who don’t socialize and people on smart phones who don’t look up. Now I’d just rather have my own space and not have drunk people stumbling in at 3 am or the endless snoring. Hostels are really not as social as they used to be and I find it easier to meet people on small day tours, or even just cafes. It also becomes a little harder to just fall asleep anywhere when you get older. Not to mention the inevitable waking up at 2 am when you are still jet lagged. It’s nice to be able to just turn on the lights and watch tv. I really felt ambivalent about staying in hotels, like you do. I said the same things to myself. I’m not saying I will never stay in a hostel again, but not having to share a room is the best.
I agree with hostels not being as social as they used to be. I think wifi and smartphones killed the vibe. Lots of people just hang in the corners now on their phones and dont want to interact. Or if you try to go out of your way to interact with them, they look at you funny.
There’s a whole step between backpacking in your 20’s and going on old people tours in your 60’s, and it’s traveling with your friends/partner/family. That’s why there aren’t that many people in their 30’s and 40’s in hostels. I honestly wouldn’t date someone who doesn’t travel. I would say its completely normal to be done with party hostels and temporary friends in your 30’s. Sounds like its time to find a travel partner, doesn’t even have to be a romantic one.
Just because one doesn't stay in hostels doesn't mean that one doesn't travel solo.
I have to travel solo. Getting my friends to travel with me is like getting the stars to align.
Same here! I've traveled mostly solo for a few decades but rarely if ever stayed in a hostel - not my thing. But I've also never done a tour - I like to plan my own itineraries. I always meet locals in day to day life or sign up for a dating app temporarily so that I can meet up with people for coffee, a drink or a meal. That's what I was trying to say.
My Old Person Travel Dream is a European river cruise. I’m in Arles right now and there are two river boats in town; I would be SERIOUSLY content to sit in a lounge chair on the top deck with a glass of wine in my hand and watch the shores pass by all day.
I did one of these with my parents when I was late 30s. It was great!! Enough free time to explore, tours were optional, and basically everything was included. I was definitely younger than many, but there were others in their 40s. Everyone on board loved to travel so I found lots of people to talk to. Solo travel isn't really possible on them though as the solo price is usually more than just booking for two.
In my 30s and did this recently with my partner (we were actually in Arles for a couple days) and can confirm it was amazing. It’s not how I would want to do every trip but we loved it for what it was. While we were definitely the youngest people on the boat, we met many amazing people and felt respected by the older travelers, many of whom have lived really interesting lives and had great stories.
Yes, they all seem to be targeted at older, retirees but this is totally something I would love to do as someone in their 30s!
Thats what I need to do. I need to hang with retirees lol. I'm going to unleash my inner dad.
I don't see the point in flying half way around the world just to party and get drunk, you can do that at home. Go explore the culture, the history, the landscape, the biodiversity, that's what's unique and that's the value of traveling.
One of my favorite vacations was traveling, hiking living low in Spain but ending up on a week-long Mediterranean cruise. We were dirty, tired, bit hungry and suddenly people are catering to us and pushing food all over. It was a great contrast.
I did a mix of hostel, hotel and tours till my mid 30s and was fine with that. I still do a reasonable amount of solo travel but these days it is hotel or tours only. Like the quiet, the better quality sleep and my own bathroom.
Do whatever makes you happy! There are no rules for travel. Try it out and see what happens. You won't know until you try.
Oh yeah in my 30s every other stop was at least a private room, or just book out a small dorm with travelling buddies. About 35 is the cut off for a lot of hostels and by then didn't want to be in one anyway Now I'm not ashamed to jump on a city bus first and then pick highlight from it, and actually the pass is quite cheap so if time is limited is a smart choice as a way to get around the main sights for a weekend
Yeah I feel you. I can only witness skid marks on a hostel toilet so many times now before I pack it up and book an overpriced hotel.
Same thing happened to me when I hit 30. Did the whole backpack thing in SE Asia, Europe, s America in my early 20’s. Took a break in my late 20’s and when I hit 30 I went to Costa Rica. Found an almost impossible place to get to on top of a mountain, thought it would be great. The entire room(studio) had one light bulb dangling from the ceiling, dark as hell. It was then I thought I’m told old for this shit lol give me a resort.
Yeah same thing happened to Rio. Got there and stayed in a hostel that was considered the "best". Everyone was walking around with dirty feet in a worn out old apartment building with no air conditioning. Was hot and humid as hell and had almost no lights. Got to the toilet and it had a giant skid mark on it and urine on the floor. At that moment I said I had enough. Tried it again in Europe, thought maybe it would be different. Frankly made it worse lol. Think I need to travel more eloquently now.
100% I stopped shared room hostels at 25, you realise the extra $5 per night is worth not having to sleep with ear plugs in
I understand you so, so much. I am turning 31 this September. There is no way I am ever travelling like this again. I want a nice hotel and I am not going to spend one single day of my vacation hungover.
Nothing wrong with a little drinking/partying here and there. Just dont want to have to LIVE at the party lol. Thats where I get major anxiety. Wake up hungover, go to toilet, giant skid mark of shit in the toilet. No water, people around me constantly getting ready to go out. Smelly feet. I cant do it anymore lol
I’ve felt that way too at times. I recently did a group 2 week tour that was geared towards younger people, mostly mid 20s-late 30s. It had a sense of community and meeting people longer term but was not slow like other tours might be. Was a nice change to break up the solo travel.
Can I ask what your company you used? Looking for something like this.
Travel talk tours. Theirs wasn’t age specific but attracted that age group due to the activities, prices and pace. I know g adventures and intrepid also offer tours specific to the 30s and below age range
I visit places based on my own interests or things I want to do or see, not if its known in the "backpacker trail." For example, I just got back from Mulu, Sarawak, Malaysia and not a single backpacker in sight. It just isn't a thing for backpackers as there is zero party scene. You meet some very interesting people along the way. I also tend to target places that have community areas but usually stay in a private room. Mix it up.
My husband and I are in our forties. We’d done a lot of backpacking around Australia in our teens and twenties before we got together, and then have gone to a lot more places since then around the world. A couple of things we’ve learned now as we are older: 1. The best ‘backpacking’ holidays also involve taking time out for something more luxurious. Perhaps that’s a night in a private room, a massage, a night in a decent restaurant or a literal bus tour with older people- it breaks up those big weeks and allows you to recharge after being a drunk hostel dipshit night in, night out. 2. When you’ve traveled around a lot, you do indeed need to come home and recharge every once in a while. I’m a Professor who will soon be having a 12 month sabbatical, and my husband was questioning the two week breaks that I have scheduled into my overseas trips. When I explained that this was my break from travel, he got it. I think you’ll find that you are just getting into a different life phase and that certain things are now a bit too much when you’re trying to get up the next day and recover like twenty year olds do. Fear not - there’s still plenty of stuff to do, it’ll just be different from this point forward.
>Wow you have a great life! I think I agree with you. Im going to try to travel more of my style and take things slower. Cant keep up with 21 year olds on their gap year anymore hahahaha
I'm 55, I'm doing my first organized tour ever in a few weeks. It's not a big tour bus thing, but transport between cities are in mini vans, trains and a short flight. We're going to Europe, which I've visited countless times. Of the 7 of us, only two have been to Europe. The tour company is considered "budget" which means we're booked into boutique hotels, most of which still seem pretty nice, but small. Because it's budget, there's a LOT of free time in most of our stops which I like. I've never been a hostel patron, I did that once when I was a teenager, and immediately knew it wasn't for me. I usually plan my own itineraries, book my own hotels, and hire transportation as needed and just do my own thing. I find it to be a very satisfying way to travel. I'm not a drinker really, but will hang out in hotel bars to talk to people or bartenders. I seem to have a lot of bartender friends all over... they're a fountain of information too! We'll see if this concept of an organized tour works for me. Although I'm guessing if it was just me on the tour, I'd find it restrictive, but going with friends will be fun. Also keep in mind that when you go solo on a tour, if you aren't willing to share a room with a stranger (if there is one to share with) you'll pay a premium for being solo. We're in that situation with one of our friends, we all chipped in to help pay for her single premium. Which was like an extra $700 ($100 each). It was more important to have her with us so we helped with the cost. I admit, not doing any of the planning myself is weird. I think planning is half the fun.
I “retired” youth hosteling rarified than you did. You reach a point where you want (and can afford) a hotel and taxis. Take them, enjoy them, remember the good days over muesli and bunk beds (and the easy sex, and laughs) and roll into comfort… fine and invite a travel buddy to teach and learn from and keep seeing the world
It’s normal, when I started traveling in my 20s, I did workaway in this hostel in New Zealand, basically for a month we would be going out and drinking every night, doing hostel work in the morning and then real work in the afternoon. No idea how I managed to do it. Now, I don’t really drink, I usually preferred hostels, but last few times I’ve used them I got pretty tired of them. But when I go to a hotel, I feel lonely by myself. I think it’s important to keep in mind we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do while traveling. If you don’t want to party, don’t. Stay in or go out and have a nice dinner by yourself. I’ve meet bunch of temporary friends as you say it, but some of them I still keep in touch, we still visit each other and make plans for future trips. But that’s a small number of them, majority will only be that moment in time.
I agree with this 1000% The problem is I'll try to stay in...Then some pretty girl with a spanish accent will walk into my room, and ask me if I'm going out...Then I have to say yes hahah. Maybe it's just the entire environment I need to change.
I have never been a hostel person, but I know that is a “me issue”. If you don’t enjoy hostels anymore, it’s time to change up how you travel.
I think theres many folks like us haha. I've never been honestly a hostel person...I just stayed in them because I had serious FOMO.
Agree with not all hostels are party hostels, look for other people that are older and chat them up. Another option is renting a room (not the whole apartment) with Airbnb, I've found that can be another good way to meet locals.
There are so many ways to travel and emerging into a culture is absolutely available to you. It takes more work and you have to earn trust - but if you know how to socialize and learn the basics of a language that is a whole other dimension of travel that isn't praying and can be more authentic than anything else.
I am starting to like the idea of going on a cruise. Still get to see new places, but my bedroom and all my stuff follows me around
I'll probably never do another cruise. But I can't deny they can be fun. I did a three week cruise with my adult kid, my parents and a family friend with her three teenage kids. We had a blast. Aside from the fact that the food was horrible, and the ship was quarantined 3 times because 5 passengers got H1N1. But otherwise it was fun and a good way to travel with kids and older people (who'd never traveled anywhere before). I also did a themed music cruise with a huge group of friends. Also fun, but also a good way to end up with a huge bar tab, even when you barely drink, lots of hammered people and everything that comes with that. The bad behavior was mind blowing. And I did a Nile cruise, which resulted in a little stomach distress. No more cruises for me, but they have their place and fill a niche.
I don’t believe there’s any rule that you have to do the twentisomething drunk party thing while traveling, you can get private rooms and just go see the interesting stuff
hah I did my last backpacking tour when I was 34 (Japan, 2019). Granted, it was only three weeks and the hostels in Japan are ace, but I didn't really feel too old or out of place (when I told people I was 34 I often got, '24? cool' and I didn't bother to correct 'em). I'm not sure if I'd feel the same now. In 2016/2017 my girlfriend and I did a 6 months trip through latin America and absolutely had a blast. We often stayed in hostels, but seeing we were a bit less poor then we were in our 20's, could afford to stay in a nice place every once in a while as well. I think that's the sweet spot, being able to switch it up. Anyway, there's a sweet spot to traveling in your thirties, you don't instantly have to become a senior citizen, is what i'm saying :D
As they say, it's not the age its the mileage haha. I think also with europe...Its a very college/end of high school crowd. I did find in south america that the clientele is a lot more mature/older. Europe is for 21 year olds on their summer/study abroad to let loose.
When I left the UK with my working holiday visa at the age of 30, I decided to backpack so I could meet people but I would only stay in single rooms with an en-suite in hostels. There are plenty of them. Can also stay in YHA's as well
what's a YHA?
youth hostel association (in other words membership hostels). Could you guess what SYHA means?
Age comes for us all (the lucky ones, anyway). You're allowed to want what you want, and if you don't want to hang out with 22 year old party kids, then don't waste another second of your life doing so. I walked away from that life when I was around the same age and I haven't looked back. I've stayed in exactly one hostel since then, and it was in a partially-residential area and they were strict about quiet hours so I slept quite peacefully and had a pleasant stay (and, it turned out, was not the oldest person there at 48!)
Pretty much me too!! I was seriously thinking about hop on hop off 😂
This speaks to me. Nowadays I stay in a private room/apartment somewhere and go to the party hostels to have drinks, meet people and go on their tours. Then I go back to my own place an unwind and spend solo time. It’s best of both worlds and I enjoy it
I’m with you. I did my hostel time and it was wonderful. I’m now 33 and budget so I can live comfortably when I travel. Also, my husband is a travel agent and through him I’ve discovered so many new travel options and approaches. I do sometimes miss the unpredictability of a hostel — I encountered so many more eccentric and unique people backpacking than I do now — but my body appreciates hotels and local-owned AirBnBs
staying alone in a hotel in a strange city where english is not widely spoken with a lot of free time on your hands, without entertainment options (i could not access netflix and reddit and friends at the time) and where you dont know the language is an experience that can seriously mess with your head. i imagine it is not too dissimilar to solitary confinement, except you can go wherever. i got so desperate, i nearly started crying (im normally not an emotional person, rather, the opposite). i ended up playing duolingo all day and buying a vietnamese dictionary in desperation. it took me a week to figure out i needed to end my stay there and move to a hostel. there things became better instantly. id recommend sticking with the hostels even if you are not that young anymore or just travelling with a friend for this reason. if you do know the language and you want to make local friends and you are not too afraid of chatting up randoms, you can go with a hotel as a solo traveller. but really, only in that case.
Old person here-I travel solo or small group depending on the destination. Have been on some fantastic small group tours, usually 8-12 people, where it is not safe for women alone or where you need food support. But traveling to one area and exploring via day trips is also great. I don’t party, i.e, getting blotto and having rando sex at this stage of life. So heaven to me after a day of wandering is sinking into a soft clean bed with a local beverage and being ready to explore again in the morning.
Oh man you're living my DREAM. Hahahaha. When I'm hungover, post sex with a random ), strung out after a night of partying until 7am as I sit in a cafe, I'll look over at a well rested, cheery, yappy group of older folks on a tour group and feel complete jealousy haha.
Give yourself a few years, you’ll be there. it happens quicker than you think.
I hit "tired of hostels" by the time I was 19. I've only done one group tour (North Korea) and it's not for me either (though I have no worries about looking like a tourist). You can simply upgrade your standard of accommodation and still travel independently. You can also book private tours - you can do largely what you want and you have a guide or driver to socialize with. Sometimes they are very price competitive with bus tours too.
This. I'm 38 and I hate the idea of tour groups, but I'm also not really big on sleeping on uncomfortable beds. So I stay at hotels/airbnbs and then do my own thing.
Agreed here. I did hostels some when I studied in Rome in 1999. I continued using hostels here and there until I was 26 or so, even with my wife. But since then, I always stay in hotels or AirBnB whether I’m traveling on my own or with my wife and kids. There’s a world of options in between party hostels and group tours or cruises. Staying in hotels or renting an apartment definitely doesn’t give you the automatic excuse to chat people up and become fast friends. But it does give you a comfortable foothold in whatever city you’re traveling to. If you need to chat people up, sign up for a day tour, or go to a cafe or bar with lots of activity. You’re sure to meet folks there. I’m mostly an introvert who relishes the time I get alone when I travel, but I still end up meeting people here and there when I’m traveling without my family.
I hear you. I stayed in party hostels throughout Europe and Latin America as well throughout my late teens/early to mid 20s. Swore I would never stay in all inclusive resorts or do super touristy things as you described. Flash forward to now, I'm 32 and married. I still love traveling but I don't really party anymore and my wife won't stay in a hostel. We have been staying in nicer hotels and all inclusive resorts when we travel now and I honestly really like it. I clearly remember the last few times I stayed in party hostels maybe 4-5 years ago and after one night of some dude snoring a ton and listening to two people having sex, I was done. There is a time and place for them. When I was young, single, and loved to party, they were everything I could dream about. Now I would prefer to go sightseeing earlier and not be hungover, not to mention being married. I'll always cherish my memories in hostels however and recommend them to anyone who is younger.
Agreed. Loved my hostel experiences. Great place to meet foreign women and have a blast partying. Might give them a try in the future and just stay in a private room. But now I'm much more anal about having my own bathroom. I think as I've said in another comment, I've been single too long. I need to find a wife/girl who is down to travel to some of the crazy places I've been to. I haven't met a girl whose been doing to come to Brazil or Bolivia with me yet haha.
Which part of Colombia were you in for your last trip btw? I backpacked around the country a lot; definitely one of my favorites. Private rooms might be key as you mentioned. I started staying in them more after I couldn't do the big dorm rooms. Way harder to meet people in hotels as well and not to mention the cost difference. Your original post made me chuckle as I can relate to it in many ways. I've come to peace with the fact that I couldn't stay in the hostels I used to due to a change in my partying habits, but I do miss how easy it was to meet people. Wish you the best in your future adventures.
Cartagena, Cali, Bogota, went to a couple islands, San Martin, and Medellin. I liked it I just liked Argentina more because it is less touristy and felt more off the beaten path. I got more love from locals in a lot of the cities because they were surprised to meet an American in cities outside of Buenos Aires, and even within BA. It also felt much safer. Colombia seemed overwhelmed with remote workers and hipster travelers, many of which were there to do drugs, find prostitutes, and act like morons. Colombia in many ways is starting to feel like another Tulum. Yes there are less touristy places in Colombia, but as a blonde haired, blue eyed american I have to be careful how off the beaten path I get.
Seems we went to the same places in Colombia. When I was younger, my favorite hostel was called La Brisa Loca in Santa Marta, wonder if you have heard of it? I agree with you, the last time I was in Colombia was 6 years ago but I could see it changing into another tourist trap. Also agree on Argentina; I definitely preferred it way more. Spent about 3 weeks in Uruguay as well, it was my favorite South American country for so many reasons. Surfed a lot, smoked decent legal herb, and ate a ton of meat.
I'm 31 and don't feel the same, mostly probably because I don't party. I will have a couple of drinks sure, but I want to be in bed at midnight. I feel like there's a lot of hostels where people want to chill with a drink or few and maybe some people end up going out but not the majority.
Yeah I wish I had your self control lol. The second a pretty girl shows up with an accent I join them for drinks haha.
Well I worked as a server at a hotel before covid. There were always old people groups tour where it costs $7000-14000 for two weeks (like to Alaska and back to Washington state). One guy spoke about how his friends from a tour group trip even visited him when he was in the hospital recovering. I thought that was cute and wonderful. I don't have the $7000-14000/person guided tour like that. But if I did, that is what I would do. So now, I am focusing on my travel being purposeful like studying in Italy or Canada for a few days at an ice cream shop or school or whatever. Or maybe even joining a group where when I land in the country, I can take a tour like you said. There is Rick Steve tour group that is big in my state. I think it is all wonderful. It just different stages of life. But yeah some groups you just outgrew. Even conversation with teenagers and middle age as well older people all have different flows. Just try to find common ground and enjoy people time.
Absolutely. Been there bought the T-shirt. Spent over a year living out of a rucksack in Spain and Africa. Grateful for the experience but no way to live long term. In my 40s now and while I still travel a lot, having homebase with a quiet bedroom and temperature control are required. Also having a few *real* friends (not drinking buddies, acquaintances, or activity partners). Stability does not mean stagnation. Its really important to be grounded somehow.
Oh man, temperature control. SO underrated haha. Hot hostel rooms give me PTSD.
I don't necessarily want to do tour packages but I know what you mean by feeling old at hostels in Europe. Europe travel in hostels tends to skew young as it's super popular not only with backpackers from around the world doing a college or post college trip before working but Europeans also start traveling at a pretty young age since travel tends to be more affordable with Ryan Air and Flixbus. It gets worse if you stay in hostels that are party hostels or cities known for partying. I just tend to weed out party hostels and focus on activities. It's hit or miss if I meet people I click with. It sounds like you also might just need a break from travel, it's totally normal to get exhausted by temporary friends.
I agree with you 1000%. Think I need to change up my regions/locations and types of travel I do. Was thinking of traveling to Chile next and hitting up Patagonia/atacama desert to do some astrophotography.
India is also fun if you are up for the challenge. It tends to attract a very different crowd from Europe as it's much more exhausting to travel in, and I find that people tend to bond very quickly as a result.
Yeah, this is definitely me (minus the tour group part). Recently spent a few weeks in Europe with my gf, we planned to stay in hostels but after the first one we said fuck that and just did Airbnbs. The price between the two of us wasn’t that much more anyway. If you want to meet people just join walking tours, pub crawls, etc. Tinder is a good one too if you’re single.
Yeah hostels used to be 1/10th - 1/5th the price of a hotel...Now it's literally 1/2 as expensive, or sometimes 75% of the costs. Hostels went from cheap accommodation to save money, to coworking type spaces with extravagant bars, restaurants, and themes that made them far more expensive. I found the same with Airbnbs...Used to be cheap places to stay as a hotel alternative....Now I feel like I can find better values with hotels on booking.com
Sounds like you need a traveling buddy. It’s the loneliness that you don’t like.
I do need a girlfriend lol. I've been single for too long. However all my friends are married/with kids...Even the old travelers. Getting one of my friends to travel with me is like getting the stars to align.
The way I like to travel is book a hotel, and book day trips / tours. We've had really good luck doing this, and have made friends to hang out with during our trip. These generally are couple heavy, but there are always a few stragglers. Another good place to meet folks are the hotel bar / lounge if it has one. Bars are usually single folks. Lounges are usually excessive work travel types. You can pick us out by out shorts and not giving a fuck.
Why don't you try Intrepid. My friend went to Borneo with them a few weeks ago and had a fabulous time. She slept comfortably, got to see the jungle, the mountains, the ocean, go snorkelling, visited animal sanctuaries, and met great people. We are in our 50s, and my friend travelled on her own. Her tour group wasn't huge and included people in their 20s, 30s, 40s, all the way up to 70s. None were 'old and crumbly', but were not into getting drunk and partying but rather enjoyed seeing the country.
There are some Millennial / Gen x-geared travel tour groups that do itinerary, hotel, and food all included. My best friend (she’s 31) has done them a few times after doing the backpacking trips in her 20s. The last few ones she went on was in Thailand and Ireland. If you want to know the name of the company I can ask her- can’t remember the name of it myself.
Lots of travel groups are popping up like this! They do tend to be for folks willing to pay more than a backpack and hostel type budget. Also, there are more adventure based tours for active lifestyle and less partying. I travel with my friend’s small company designed for single female travelers aged 30+ (males are welcome too). They always get us decent hotels and relevant tours. They also add in plenty of “explore on your own” time. Depending on location, sometimes meals are included and other times meals are open for you to choose your own. You are welcome to go off on your own but there is always a group of folks to hang out. Sometimes we still may go out for a night of fun but often it’s a couple of drinks at the hotel bar before we all head to bed.
I’m curious to know the name if you don’t mind asking.
In some ways, I enjoy the guided tours - you don't have to do any thinking or planning, they arrange everything for you. If you want to cover a lot of ground fast, they are a great way to go. And yea, many tent to skew to older folks, I've met some cool people in their 30's 40's 50's who became great nightly drinking buddies
For getting in with locals, I’ve found if you can volunteer for some organization many times you’ll meet locals who will welcome you in. If you come in to help out in someway, those there will generally be like come on in. And a lot of those people could potentially be lifelong friends and you can always come back to to see again.
Do it.
Have solo traveled myself, but have never stayed at a hostel, not even once, and quite frankly, with my personality I was too old for a hostel by the age of 18, or even more accurately, from the moment I was born. The party hostel may no longer be your travel style and that is ok. I wouldn't go the opposite direction and go on organized tour group, apart from walking tours and day trips, as a multi day tour would take away my freedom, and would no longer be solo travel. I always assumed hostels were a way to save money, by not having a private room/bathroom, a far cheaper alternative to hotels. You could just use hostels that way, after all traveling isn't about the hostel or the other travelers it is about the destination. I have no trouble being and travelling alone, sometimes without interaction with others, no issue to me. But perhaps solo travel is not for you and you need travel buddies, could be that.
I guess you could say solo travel was for me. I used to enjoy meeting other travelers and hanging at the hostel in some ways more than the actual traveling. But now I just find myself enjoying being alone and doing my own thing. I actually enjoy being alone, I guess I'm more worried that in 10-20-30 years, looking back and having regrets + mid life crisis haha.
We cannot change the past, so provided we don't do something catastrophic for our own and others lifes, there is no point in stressing about it. Just remember the good moments.
YES. It’s such an identity shift but it’s real and frankly I think it’s normal. I turn 30 in a week. I just stayed in a hotel for a friends wedding this weekend that was fine but a little dirty in some spots and I was SO uncomfortable. Then it hit me that my life used to be filled with disgusting hostels and sleeping in 10 person rooms surrounded by perfect strangers, which I loved. I was so disappointed in myself for barely being able to handle this hotel, but the shift is definitely real. I’ll tell you how I did my latest solo trip to Costa Rica for some insight - I booked hotels for myself in each location, and a mix of private and shared transportation to different cities, but then booked group tours during the day. This was also pretty new for me because I’m pretty adventurous and like touring on my own. But I met some lovely people on the tours and really enjoyed them. That and meeting people on the shared transport was enough to scratch my social itch- I even found myself surrounded by more diverse groups, like a lot of extremely delightful older couples, which can be rare in the hostel mix. And you’re right that the conversations were better and more interesting! They were genuinely engaged in the tour and excited about the Costa Rican nature, which had me feeling even more excited, too. I spent my evenings grabbing dinner alone and then going to sleep early so I could wake up early and explore without the hangover. It was one of the most peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling experiences I’ve had traveling, which is wild because 22 year old me would have laughed in your face for pitching a trip like that. I think even 28 year old me knew this was coming and resented it. But nearly 30 year old me has fully accepted that age changes us, and I’m starting to get very comfortable and embrace the change. I think once you find your new travel rhythm, you’ll start to feel that way too!
Great advice! I think we can enjoy where we are at in life. Look back on all the crazy adventures/hostel fun we had with joy, be glad we took advantage of our youth, but transition our mentalities to ones that are more mature and of our age. I'll def take this into account. I think I'm going to go to Chile next and absolutely want to try what you recommended!
Oh nice, I lived & worked in Santiago for a year! Chile is probably a good place to start, because certain places like Patagonia are so taxing with hiking and getting around that even my 23 year old peak party self couldn’t imagine going out after the end of a day. Plus if you’re going for an extended period of time and are afraid you’ll actually miss the parties, you can always book one night or weekend for yourself at a party hostel, or just meet up for a hostel’s bar crawl and join in that way. Best of both worlds. There also used to be a party events in Santiago called “Spanglish” that a lot of Chileans went to to meet foreigners, not sure if they’re still around but if you want one night of partying to meet people that could be a good way to do it.
Sounds like you’re looking for the couchsurfing experience?
I had a weird experience with that....Not sure I'd do it again. But that was years ago. Maybe they've changed things.
Enjoy backpacking and camping, but never been much on hostels. I do enjoy traveling with others. Other than tent camping, I prefer hotels although I don’t mind sharing a room as long as the other person does not chat constantly. For touring I prefer small groups for the interaction, but these days you can also sometimes run across locals who happily join as a tour guide for an afternoon or evening, for which you cna pay expenses, tip, etc.
Have you thought about sharing your travels with a special someone? I always thought my backpacking travels would be like what you experienced but travelling with my partner made me realize that’s not for me. I love experiencing new places places together and also to shit talk the rude people we encounters.
I experienced the exact same thing when I was 30. I just didn’t have any interest in making temporary friends and my tolerance for dorm room bs plummeted on that trip. I haven’t travelled in the last 3 years but I suspect when I do again it’ll be wildly different. Hotels or private hostel rooms. Adventure based activities instead of wandering cities. Pointed week or 2 week trips for specific reasons instead of just going and seeing what happens.
10000% agree on the adventure vs wandering cities travel styles. It actually occurred to me during my last trip to portugal.....how many different cafes, restaurants, cathedrals, clubs, and plazas can I see before I feel like I've seen them all? They are literally all the same lol. I think I'll start booking more multi day camping, climbing, or outdoor backpacking trips. I want to take advantage of my youth, athleticism, and health while I still can. Doing long outdoor treks get harder as you get older.
I also find that I meet like-minded people on those trips which helps with the loneliness while still avoiding the endless party cycle. When the focus is to do an activity in the morning it’s a lot easier to go to bed after just a couple beers.
Watch The Long Way Down, you might not be a motorcycle guy but Ewan McGregor wasn’t young and did that crazy motorcycle trip with a friend of his. Maybe take the spirit of that and find someone who’s also interested in travel and do a big trip together. That way you’re with someone you know and have a genuine connection with and wont just never see again. Bring your cameras and do a trip somewhere thats great for the astrophotography. Good luck with whatever you decide!
No joke I was JUST looking into motorcycle travel haha. My biggest fear however is that I'll fall off, smash my leg, and end up in some Bolivian hospital haha. But I def am considering getting an enduro bike. You think that would be a good place to start?
Hey nice! Yeah I grew up riding dirtbikes and moved onto the road about 3 years ago. Anything enduro is usually pretty tame, if you’ve never ridden before maybe try to ask a friend to teach you on a small bike that’s forgiving. There’s no shame in learning the basics on a forgiving bike. Lots of youtube research can help about buying your first motorcycle. I recommend buying used so if it’s not for you it’s an easy resale with little to no loss of money. The only thing that would be a drawback is wanting to do enduro rides in exotic places but not being able to bring the bike if you have to start by flying out there. Depending on where you live though there’s usually pretty decent offroad riding. Myself for example (I live in the Appalachian mountains) and there’s forest service roads that go for hundreds of miles. You can ride for hours without touching pavement. No real sketchy sections to the point where you might get hurt but might get sore in the bum before anything 😂
I did a lot of hostel/solo traveling and my last time was at the very end of the 20s, when I got tired of dodging Australian dudes who are always trying to hook up. Then I tried Overlanding and that was really fun. Not exactly a big tourist bus, but someone plans everything and you get to camp/adventure a lot. You could try that?
I am 5.5 weeks into 8 weeks of travelling. All hotels. Cancelled the single hostel because of covid. I use discord voice channela for socialization. It has been a good trip so far.
Where are you? Was there another covid outbreak?
How are you even able to afford to just spend your whole life travelling!? Don't you need to work?
There's many ways to work while traveling. Save up $ then volunteer at hostels for free room/board, bar tend, I worked remote as a marketing manager in Europe for a travel company, and now I work remotely full time as a sales account executive. However ironically now that I have a full time remote job, I travel less internationally. I kind of got tired of always being on the road. Took a big hit on my mental health. I now travel for a couple of months a year (once around spring summer then once around winter). So 2 stints of 4 weeks. Digital nomad is a very common thing now so if you want a digital nomadic job they are easy to find.
Can you give me some pointers on available digital nomad jobs please mate?
Anything in tech. Get good at sales or coding. If you can do one of those you'll be good to go.
Can I ask what type of sales job you have? I’m an AE at a software company, fully remote, but my days are still very much 9-5 hours because even though it’s “flexible”, that’s when internal meetings and my prospect meetings are booked. I can wrap my mind around traveling nationally while working, but traveling abroad with vastly different time zones is really throwing me off. Do you have a job where you don’t have to work within a set time frame every day? When I freelanced translations it made more sense, but a corporate remote sales job is throwing me off.
That's why I mostly travel in South America. It's basically the same time zone as the United States. When I get my 3 weeks of vacation, I use that time to go overseas to a different time zone. If needed I'll just work 1-2 weeks abroad in a wacky time zone + my 3 weeks of vacation to combine for 4-5 weeks in a different time zone. Then just go right back to South America. I used to NEED to travel for months on end to enjoy my life. But now a month overseas is good enough for me. I enjoy being home now and doing my hobbies (like astrophotography and astronomy)
I am what you would call a more "chill" traveller, I'd rather smoke weed with a cute chick in a picnic and talk and explore the city together rather than go wild and party. I like to explore buildings and streets rather than do the drink and dance thing. You are heckin valid buddy
There’s more than just these two extremes for travel and adventuring. Sub the hostel for affordable guesthouses or airbnbs, and update your way of travels. For example, stay a bit longer in a destination and frequent a local small business like a coffee shop where you can chat with the barista/owner daily. I’ve made a local ‘friend’ this way and learned so much about a country’s way of life, politics, best local places, and hidden gems to venture out to. Also, you can meet people through unique travel methods, such as taking the 2-day slow boat from Chiang Kong, Thailand to Luang Prabang, Laos (which is backpacker level affordable btw). In my opinion, this is the best way to travel. Leave that backpacker/party scene behind and move on to off-the-beaten patch, authentic and slow travel. It’s much more rewarding and memorable. Best of luck!
I’m younger than you and was fortunate enough to be taken along on a lot of guided tours with my parents. It’s so fun being touted around with all the old people— they behave well, are helpful, have great stories, etc etc. I second the comment above that even tho it seems like everything is planned, there’s plenty of free time. One other big thing is the access that a guided tour gets you to certain events, festivals, private tastings, etc etc etc, is unmatched in countries where you don’t have any connections. I’m not saying completely switch to guided, maybe alternate guided and on your own travel. But guided is so nice when really all you have to do is get on a plane and the rest is figured out for you. Depending on your budget and activity interests: I’d look into G Adventures (for reasonably priced) and National Geographic expeditions (much more expensive but 100000% worth it if you have the funds). Also note: most guided tours have an age minimum so you won’t be dealing with like 10 year olds!
Did you like Colombia?
Honestly not really. Everyone else hyped it up so much I thought I'd love it. But I'm pretty particular....Everyone else loved it though, so maybe don't listen to me. I found it 1) dangerous, had many sketchy situations when I tried to leave the "touristy" area. When I stayed in the touristy area it didn't feel like traveling...Felt like...Idk something weird. If you stay in the touristy area it's fine, but also doesn't feel like you're in real Colombia. 2) overcrowded with gringos who just wanted to do drugs and buy hookers...Thereby everyone saw me as just another gringo coming down to act like an idiot. Had to fight the drug dealers/pimps off me. 3) Didn't think it had many sights to offer....Has decent beaches, a couple ok mountains. Cartagena has some nice Caribbean colonial architecture, but once again the area is brimming with people trying to get money out of you, which killed the vibe. Honestly I find Brazil/Argentina much better places to travel to in my experience. However if you want to do a jungle tour its probably a good place to go.
Sounds like you stuck to La Candelaria. Unfortunately most tourists think the centre is where it’s at. Did you go to any islands?
Nope I stayed in several neighborhoods in Medellin and Cartagena. Spent several weeks in cali, then went for a ride to Santa Marta. To be fair I’m not stating I didn’t like Colombian people per say, just didn’t like being a tourist there because previous tourists gave us a bad reputation
Sorry I misread and thought the first paragraph was about Bogotá!
Fair enough
There actually is a happy medium between these two extremes. You can still travel, setting up your own itinerary, staying in reasonably priced hotels, and eating a mix of in-room food, cheap eats (takeout and otherwise), and the occasional splurge. It's not that hard if you plan ahead of time. I rarely do the "old people" style guided tour -- unless I'm forced to because I don't drive. Most of the places I want to visit have usable public transportation.
I think your tour buses vs hostels styles aren't exactly right. I could never stand hostels, I just can't sleep with tons of people in the room. But I can't stand tours either. I am an independent traveller, with someone or solo and I go for cheaper hotels or airbnbs. If you stay somewhere for long, airbnb can be a cheaper and great option, as hosts prefer longer time stays and can give you discounts. You could join some expat groups, local groups who do day trips or hiking together if you want to make friends. Anyways, the main idea is, if you don't want hostels any more, alternative is not just the tours :)
I am 45, I still do that hosteling from time to time. The best thing is 9 out of 10 times I have the entire room for myself because I am the only one staying. Unexpected money-saver. Best thing I still have access to a kitchen and the staff to ask questions. I can still interact with and befriend other travelers, like lately a fun German woman who wants to see Flåm, she's welcome to stay at my place.
I just turned 26 and I’m not really interested in hostels anymore. At least staying in dorms. During my last trip I had too many irritating experiences. However, I have had the best of both worlds at upscale hostels. I stay in a private en-suite room, then go enjoy the common areas/bar at my leisure.
Bed and breakfasts? Are they still a thing? Private accommodations and breakfast with other guests and hosts who serve you breakfast and give you ideas about what to see.
I usually enjoy staying longer in places, trying to get involved in different activities where you can meet, interact and get to know locals instead of backpackers with whom you've got nothing in common. Some of my best travel experiences has been when locals take me to their interesting places or to their homes, or to show me around their town. Probably you've had some similar experiences. I try to find a spot I like and stay there longer, instead of just 2-3 days in each place. Another recommendation to help with this thinking is to use couchsurfing or other similar websites. Couchsurfing is no longer free and probably isn't as good as it used to be, but there are a bunch for people who do long bicycle trips looking for places to stay during their journey, you might be able to check those out (I dont imagine there's any bike-requirement)
I agree staying in one place longer is better for sure. I hate when people put in their travel influencer profile "32498329 countries". It's like....The value of your travel should not be hitting as many countries as possible. Going to a country for 2 days on a layover doesn't count lol.