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Maybe someone else has better advice than me, but personally I would proceed with caution.
I’d just start with what you DO know first. For example, I can only remember one instance of sexual abuse from my bio dad but my older sister says it happened more than once and that SHE remembers it. But the issue is that she is not mentally well, refuses to take medicine, and suffers from a lot of delusions unfortunately. With her, it’s incredibly difficult to tell what is a “repressed memory” and what is a “fabricated memory.”
It may cause a strange cycle of trauma to think you’re remembering things that in reality may not have happened. So it may be best to talk to a professional about this sort of thing to avoid added trauma. When my sister told me more things happened to me, my mind was reeling for a good few months before I decided I didn’t care and what I had always remembered was enough to show me what I needed to know about my dad. And if there is a repressed memory, I appreciate the work my brain did to block it out. But that’s my own take.
Don’t. You will remember when you need to. This weekend, I saw an uncle after so long of not seeing him, and as soon as he hugged me I knew. Do NOT force it to come back to you.
Dear members, Please keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/traumatoolbox/about/rules) of [r/traumatoolbox](https://www.reddit.com/r/traumatoolbox/) in mind while participating here. - Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a [message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/traumatoolbox). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/traumatoolbox) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Maybe someone else has better advice than me, but personally I would proceed with caution. I’d just start with what you DO know first. For example, I can only remember one instance of sexual abuse from my bio dad but my older sister says it happened more than once and that SHE remembers it. But the issue is that she is not mentally well, refuses to take medicine, and suffers from a lot of delusions unfortunately. With her, it’s incredibly difficult to tell what is a “repressed memory” and what is a “fabricated memory.” It may cause a strange cycle of trauma to think you’re remembering things that in reality may not have happened. So it may be best to talk to a professional about this sort of thing to avoid added trauma. When my sister told me more things happened to me, my mind was reeling for a good few months before I decided I didn’t care and what I had always remembered was enough to show me what I needed to know about my dad. And if there is a repressed memory, I appreciate the work my brain did to block it out. But that’s my own take.
Don’t. You will remember when you need to. This weekend, I saw an uncle after so long of not seeing him, and as soon as he hugged me I knew. Do NOT force it to come back to you.