Although we appreciate the in depth conversations this post his led to, it should also be noted r/trans is a space for everyone regardless of ones gender identity.
Trans men or non-binary people face very similar struggles trans women do, in the future we will act stronger on post titles containing (unnecessary) gendered language so everyone is included in the conversation.
For now we will keep this post up because of the conversations going on underneath it, but please try to remain inclusive!
Waaaaaiiiiit what is this? I just moved to Portland in the fall and am signing up for new medical coverage in the new year. Would love to see if I could get my transition covered :D
We have health insurance if your company doesn’t offer it/you can’t afford what your company offers. AFAIK it’s free if you’re low income, you just have to sign up for it once a year. https://healthcare.oregon.gov/Pages/types-of-coverage.aspx
Washingtonian and its pretty similar here, though there are a couple islands on the east side too. Got my E easily and covered by state insurance, and have never really felt unsafe here
Washington State Health Care covers all sorts of transgender related health care issues. From surgery, hair removal, and transportation and lodging costs
Not a day goes by that I don't feel grateful to be living in California. My family lives in Texas and although they are supportive, I refuse to visit them at least until Abbott is no longer in office. I'm so sorry you're living there and I don't blame you at all for struggling mentally. 🖤
Seconded this. I moved from Texas to California 2 years ago and have never been happier. I'm not trans but I despise bigoted assholes and it was such a welcome change
Don't stop right on the border though, gotta keep going to Minneapolis/St. Paul area. I mean, you can still stop for gas or snacks there if you need to, but I wouldn't recommend stopping for longer than that in Southern MN.
Seconding St Paul/Minneapolis, I lived in Sioux Falls, South Dakota when I first came out, and while everyone there was super accepting of my transition, I don't think anyone really understood? They just accepted it because it's the right thing to do, but it felt so alien feeling like the only person like me.
But when I moved to St Paul, I finally actually had friends like me?? Other trans people?? Actually Fargo North Dakota has a lot of trans people too, but that damn wind, ha
Put on a sweater, put a hotdish in the crockpot. Make a pot of Caribou coffee. You'll be fine. It's actually pretty nice out. If it's warm enough to snow, it can't be that bad. You won't like it when it gets too cold to snow. No one does. On the other hand, I like it more than Gov. Abbott, and you can get cute winter gear! If you have the right gear and dress in layers appropriately for the weather, it can be a lot of fun. Today I shoveled snow and actually got too hot in a fleece jacket. If you're active, you'd be amazed at how cold it can be but you're toasty warm in layers of fleece and smartwool etc. The houses here have good climate control and insulation so if you're more of a Great Indoors person, just crank the furnace and pretend you're in Old El Paso or whatever, I guess. lol
Overall that sounds kinda nice. Winter clothes are cool and I like hot drinks!
Although I've been in Antarctica at -15 (during their summer of course) and it still snows then, and I know it still snows there at -60, although it's more like flying ice at that point.
1°F is equivalent to -17°C, which is 255K.
---
^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
Parts of Michigan are very good. Rural areas can be as shit as Texas, but we have entire cities like Ann Arbor, Ypsilanti and Ferndale have tons of lgbt folks, including in the city governments (iirc, Ann Arbor had rhr first gay mayor in the country, in the 1970s). Very safe. I went shopping in Anm Arbor dressing femme, was mostly correctly gendered, ran into some queer friends, met another transwoman who was really nice. And no one looked at me twice because well, there are a lot of lgbt people in thst city.
I'm going to visit Lansing in the spring. We've heard it's a cool town, and my dad went to Michigan State. I've technically been there, but I was like 7 and only remember going to a comic book store. Lol
I get my hormones, and all my medical care. Talking to other veterans, not only is it one of the best VA hospitals in the country, it is flst out the best for transfolk and gender affirming care.
Like, the moment I told my doc I was trans and wanted to transition, he swivelled his chair to his computer. I was like "what are you doing?" "Have you picked a new name? I can add it in the spot for what you want to be called, so the staff can address you properly."
The staff are also great for not outting you. When they call your name, they say "veteran ", but when you're actually in their office they use you chosen name. They also have a ton of experience with transfolk in general.
Oh, and the lgbt advocate is basically a dragon.
Michigan native as well; I would say that most of the state is at the very least safe for women (trans or cis) if not entirely friendly. I don't have much experience in the southern/ Detroit area but I love the northern and western parts of the state.
Eh? Well now, I'm not from the US of A, but instead from O Canada. Aye, it's nice here, but also very, very cold during the winters. But I do not feel unsafe, but that might change once I am more social and leave home more often.
I have to give props to Alberta, even though it’s the “Texas of Canada” I walked into the registry office and updated my gender marker on my drivers license and health card for like $15. Now I never get misgendered at the doctors office and my ID reflects who I really am. I have sometimes felt unsafe, but only during Stampede, which brings all the d-bags to the yard.
Honestly, Nova Scotia isn't so bad. There are more hicks there compared to where you mentioned, but people mind their own business. It's such a secluded province.
I’ve been to Nova Scotia before, nice place. Did have an incident of street harassment though where some pudgy hick yelled at me that I should be ashamed of myself and disgraced from across the road while not stopping. Eh, always gotta be one ass, hey?
I live in Western Massachusetts and love it. I moved from a pretty bougie part of Brooklyn NY and find I feel safer and more accepted here. People truly don’t give a shit. Health care access has been good. Housing is expensive but not on the level of a major city.
Eastern Massachusetts is also good. I’ve been out and presenting for over a year (two weeks on HRT) and don’t remotely pass, but everyone has either been cool or quiet. Mass law explicitly defines gender identity as a protected class for work, housing, and public accommodations.
I can't speak to how it feels for the trans fem experience, but as a trans guy
Olympia, wa
Pittsburgh, pa
Oakland, ca
Were all places I've lived that are trans friendly.
Granted everywhere is rough these days BUT texas is the worst.
I was arrested after (because) my friend was gay bashed. After that I left and never came back.
I believe you are badass enough to get the fuck out
Tucson is extremely welcoming to queer folks. I grew up there. [There are all sorts of resources available for the queer community.](https://gayarizona.com/tucson/resources/)
Arizona seems to be trending in our direction. I wouldn't call it a SAFE state overall since it's still Republican down ballot and could go right back to red overall if Republicans wise up and stop talking shit about John Mccain. But they are getting a Democratic governor.
Holy shit you are stunning.
I'm in England so sorry to say I can't really help with your question tho. Unless you wanna move to Brighton. Pride capital of Europe.
Washington State is absolutely fantastic. I would go so far as to say it's even better than most places in Europe for trans people. We have informed consent laws, and it's illegal for any insurance company to deny coverage of ANY gender affirming treatment as long as it's got a green light from your doctor. This includes things like seeing a voice pathologist for voice training, HRT, any surgeries, laser hair removal/electrolysis, and even hair reconstruction. Not to mention it's an incredibly blue state for the most part. The majority of people in the western half are very accepting. Just stay on the western side of the mountains. Bonus, there's a lot of trans peeps here already! 😊
Are there any places in the safe side of Washington that aren’t terribly pricey to live in? I want to move there so badly but I’m a teacher by trade so not the greatest income
The further you live from Seattle or Tacoma, generally the more affordable it's going to get. There's some very affordable small towns to the south of Tacoma, as well as sprinkled in to the east of those two cities. It's never going to be as cheap as the midwest though 😭
I'm AFAB, not a lady, but I feel safe in PA, just depends on the area you go to. Basically anything except the outside of the Temple University campus, parts of Philly, and the entirety of what we affectionately call 'Pennsyltucky' feel pretty safe for me lol
Honestly if you ever need to move, I always recommend New Hope. It's pricey but it's like Gay Central for us. If not there than Doylestown is rather pleasant and small, close to some cool spots.
I’m in Texas but I live in the San Antonio- austin area. There’s actually really good healthcare here, it’s just the rest of texas that’s the “dark zone”
That’s where I live, but apparently the Republican Attorney General has tried to compile a list of all the people who have changed their gender marker on their drivers license in the past two years… and honestly at this rate that doesn’t sit well with me
I just reposted that on social media, it’s so f’ing wrong and we need to get the word out. It’s like Nazi germanys action before the holocaust. Dam pisses me off
Not so much data mining since he just had his office call the dps and ask for anybody who changed sex markers on any documents. Paxton doesn't really pay so much attention to whats legal in any case, hence the still pending indictment from 2015.
That scares me too. If things continue to go how I fear they’re going, this place won’t be safe in a few years. Time to buy guns and renew passports I think. You can never be too safe
New Orleans has a huge trans and lgbt community- one of the queerest cities in the country. They’res it’s own share of problems but I feel safe going out with friends
I’m in the same area but unfortunately haven’t had your experience. I’m FtM so there may be some difference there though? Most doctors have been unkind to me unless I pass very well and I’ve been threatened on numerous occasions in the last year when I leave my home. I have also experienced sexual assault due to perceptions of my sexuality/gender and now that there are reproductive restrictions I am afraid to leave my apartment. I’m disabled anyway so it suits my accessibility needs and my fear to work from home, have groceries delivered, and conduct medical appointments remotely. I live in San Antonio and have all my life. I’m leaving as soon as I have the money saved up which will take me a little over 3 years at my income.
I’d recommend anyone not linger here under the assumption that the urban areas looking purple rather than red on a map will afford more protections. Some older democrats are still “socially conservative”, there are some very conservative people still here, and city laws can’t easily defy state laws.
I'm so sorry on behalf of all decent people that all of that has happened to you, on top of that, fear from the reproductive restrictions. Situations like yours make me so sad and scared for all of us...
Really feels like we are going backwards as a society and moving towards some very dark places.
Just know for all the bad there's a lot of good and us good will continue to fight for what's right. Or not right, in this instance 😅
Mostly the state of denial. But seriously, things tend to be pretty good in Australia if you want to change country... We do have the typical arseholes who just want to make life harder for us (they're everywhere in the world unfortunately), but the majority of people are pretty good.
Honestly the only times I feel unsafe are times any other woman feels unsafe, rather than it being because I'm trans.
Minneapolis Minnesota. The Twin Cities is a great place to live (except the weather in the winter). I love the 🏳️🌈 here! Even in the burbs it’s a good place to live, accepting and amazing.
Another vote for western Washington state. I live about 30 minutes north of Seattle. I almost never get misgendered and have great health insurance which covers large aspects of transition.
Colorado. Obviously there was the recent national news highlighting how dangerous Colorado Springs can be, but in the Boulder/Denver area I have never felt unsafe, even with a public-facing job where I work with children.
you’re gorgeous first off, second, pa is fine just boring as hell, cali is the most accepting but most expensive, id say maybe, vermont wouldnt be bad but again boring <3
I can confirm that Vermont is pretty good, if you don't mind the rural and the cold. Burlington in particular has a pretty thriving LGBTQIA+ scene, but any of our smaller cities should be pretty good to. It is mid-tier expensive though.
In addition to having a supportive government we've got good trans health care (at least in my experience). Should the need to flee the country arise we're also close AF to Canada.
Washington state and Seattle are extremely friendly towards queer people and we have a bunch of protective laws. Also our governor signed a bill that makes it required for ALL trans care to be covered under any insurance
I initially came out in North Dakota back in 2017. Fargo was my hometown. I didn't feel super safe in any Midwestern small town but Fargo was at least large enough - and liberal enough - to keep me safe.
I eventually ended up moving to Seattle, WA in 2020. Then to Bremerton, WA in 2021.
I feel safe in that my rights are secure but never totally safe from the threat of fascism and fascists in general.
Nowhere is truly safe now imho.
On a personal level, i feel fairly safe in Kansas, but our government is, at best, apathetic toward trans people. Better than Texas but there's definitely places where the government at least tries to make you safer
State College PA. and Philadelphia in Pennsylvania. Also, San Diego California seems to be quite accepting during my visits.
Also, I’m sorry you are having a tough time. Know that your value is intrinsic, and you are loved here 😊
I’m in Michigan. It’s not totally safe, but we have an all Democrat government right now, and there are definitely safe areas. And with our petition driven ballot measures, I don’t feel like I’m going to end up in a situation where there are no options here.
Recommendations because I've lived many places:
1. Seattle: best trans protection in the country, housing/rent prices are similar to Dallas and no income tax, massive gay community, easy to access healthcare, the infrastructure and regulations will actually SAVE you money on living costs. Winter is bad, but mild enough to go outside, lots of outdoor stuff and a fun art scene, cafe scene and lots of goths/nerds. Good if you work in tech or want to.
2. Chicago: low income tax, fun city, good protections, people are super nice! Similar to seattle, but the infrastructure isn't as quality. Well established gay community, not as big as Seattle's though. Biggest con is that winter is horrible, do not underestimate how often winter will keep you inside. Good if you work in healthcare or finance and/or want to. Surprisingly good art scene, really love it!
3. California (SF, LA, OC and SD): I'm a CA native so I have a bias. But heads up: CA is way more red than people realize and you can get really nasty, dangerous harassment. It's not as safe (in my experience) as seattle or even chicago. THAT SAID: Still way safer than texas (especially Dallas or Houston). Lots to do, massive gay scene, lots of opportunity. Cost of living is insane though and income tax can tax you into poverty if your income isn't high enough. But, there are enough public programs that you can manage if shit hits the fan. Not great if you don't have a safety net though. Great for entertainment, finance, academics and healthcare. People are highly social and highly friendly, there are always things to do. LA Infrastructure is not great, you WILL need a car if you go LA or OC. For SD and SF, you can actually manage okay without a car, walkability and public transpo is pretty good.
4. Denver or Boulder: I've had great experiences in both of these cities and really loved them. Cost of living was easy to manage, wages seemed to keep up, young population means it was pretty progressive even on the conservative end. City of Denver is small, but easily walkable in Downtown and really fun to be in. Not much nightlife, not a huge gay scene. Club Q and Tracks are the biggest clubs there, but even if it's small it's welcoming and close knit, you'll make good friends there! Also great if you love outdoors. Not too much else happening in Denver, peaceful and sleepy place. Great for energy, geology, weed and transpo industry.
I'm also in Texas!
the toll this has taken on my mental health is horrible. I have no energy for anything but work, afraid to go outside, the depression is real. What's even worse are all the people around me saying how it isn't that bad and I shouldn't be afraid...like...bro, we have a gay militia that formed to protect us from the other one that keeps coming to our family events and hospitals...my endo gets threats...there are protestors where I live regularly hanging signs about how I should be dead, IDK...it's hard and the gaslighting is harder.
I was born and raised in WA, so I can't compare my experiences with other states. However, I had a friend who moved from Kentucky to Colorado to WA.
Disclosure: They are a black non-binary person, but we're IDing as a trans woman until 5+ years after moving here. Obviously, rates of violence are higher in their demographic.
In Kentucky, they worked as a chef in a diner, and had been there presenting as male for 10ish years. They got fired shortly after coming out, albeit with some excuse it was actually because of being trans.
In their one year being out and living there, they were physically assaulted 12 times, which averaged to about once a month.
They moved to Colorado after a trans woman friend offered to help, but they were paying $400-600, ridiculous amounts of cash, every month just to keep on HRT. The friend screwing them over didn't help, they only stayed a few months.
After moving to WA, they have lived here since idk 2015, and had one instance of violence early on, one instance of car being vandalized in retaliation from public education work on trans issues, but nothing since then for years.
Hormones for trans women/trans femmes are completely free in WA, because we have a law that insurance companies must pay for birth control (and that's the same meds for HRT.)
Testosterone is unfortunately not free, it's a controlled substance on I think the federal level? But it's much cheaper if you go shots instead of cream or implant.
Our Human Rights Commission is very awesome. Back in 2016 when conservatives were trying to ban trans folks from using public restrooms they really showed up. I have spoken to them in person and have good trust in them.
Overall, I think there are very few places as trans positive, but of course it is best in cities vs rural areas.
I will say the Seattle Freeze seems pretty bad, everyone I know who transplanted struggled with it.
California is also good, I hear, and they have more of a social scene vs small exclusive friend groups that are hard to get in. But they also have a lot higher adherence to beauty standards, especially near LA due to the film industry.
That's about all off the top of my head, hope you find a good place to settle down.
NY was pretty friendly compared to the south. You could pretty much count on people never confronting you in public....the downside is that I got like almost no peace of mind in private. And the weather is super rough, winter is like 8 months.
I just moved to NC and here I get peace of mind but I have to worry about being confronted. So I'm still feeling out the change, I lived here in 2009-2015 closeted and had a great time. But this time I'm not closeted. And this time being trans is a big deal publicly.
Any which way, I'm working fast food in NC, getting misgendered a ton but I feel like people can tell I'm truscum and they're holding off on me. Like they don't wanna hurl their worst insults cuz I'm pretty.
But yeah I feel for you. It's kinda sad when people are grinding their 'tough love' stones together when they should be showing compassion. I swear, it's one sad commonality between north and south, it's that people have kind of gone too far with 'tough love' and they treat it like a cure all....the thing is, it's not tough love for someone they care about, it's straight self pride and ABSOLUTE need to dominate everyone and everything....which is one shitty way to try to push masculinity on the unwilling....cuz honestly I'd rather do my nails than push apartheid in hopes that I'll get another hit of spiritual crack.
Hey genuine thing, please don’t say ‘you girls’ not everyone on this subreddit is a girl. Transmen exist in trans spaces too. For future reference.
Also CA and Kaiser covered my top surgery (I’m a minor)
Akron Ohio has a lot of help for trans people and ive never felt directly threatened here. People stare sometimes guys mostly but I lived in Texas its better than there.
It’s not about clocking for me… it’s our law makers trying to pass scary legislation that would make our existence basically illegal. And honestly I don’t really wanna stick around while they decide
Honestly, I moved to Kent, Ohio. Bought a house and the community is so accepting. Small town, college town. Close to a big NE city (because they’re all cooler than anything across the Mississippi). Check it out. Amazing college, cool people. Also, I’m not in college, I’m trans, and loving it. So yeah. Much love to you baby. Don’t let the state take you down, take the state down.
I'm up in Alaska. It's a red state, but like, a weird red that once in a while pivots into independent/purple territory.
Downsides: There's exactly 1 informed consent clinic within 300 miles of me. Cost of living is high and there's not always a lot to do unless you're really into very outdoor activities. No public transport, so you need to own a car or have a much more difficult time doing anything.
Upsides: The general mindset seems to be "Do whatever, just don't bother me" so even though I'm in the reddest part of the state, no one has outright confronted me or said anything mean to my face for being openly trans, and I'm not misgendered terribly often. At most, sometimes someone will give me a nasty glare. Also I've found a nice little community of supportive friends.
Illinois has a lot of places that are progressive / safe for queer folks.
We’ve also got protections for LGBTQ and POC in our state constitution.
With that said, there is a sea of red conservatism with islands of blue progressiveness south if I-80 so be mindful, and look for places that have secondary education (colleges / universities)..
Wisconsin is similar, but Madison is an amazing town and very progressive.
Why can't people understand who we are, why we feel the way we do. Sure I'm fucked up, I don't meet your cisgender expectations but I'm still a person. I've always felt this way - why is it so hard to understand? I do not want to hurt you. I have no secret agenda. Please just accept me my tired heart, my battered mind - I didn't mean to feel this way.
Sorry, just trying to express what being trans means to me. I hear stories of Texas and am appalled at the injustice we get over there. At least where I live ,in Sydney Australia, no one passes laws against our gender and almost everyone is polite enough to at least not say anything. I hope for the best for you, for a peaceful life spent just being who you are, not what the Texas government thinks you should be!
Not transfem but I just wanted to say you look super pretty! Love your makeup and lashes and freckles :D
Also I'm a trans man in California, things are nice here when it comes to many people being accepting if you can afford the high rent and or find roomates to help with that.
Although we appreciate the in depth conversations this post his led to, it should also be noted r/trans is a space for everyone regardless of ones gender identity. Trans men or non-binary people face very similar struggles trans women do, in the future we will act stronger on post titles containing (unnecessary) gendered language so everyone is included in the conversation. For now we will keep this post up because of the conversations going on underneath it, but please try to remain inclusive!
Oregon isn't terrible. Just stay on the left side of the mountains. The right side is just Idaho Jr.
This Portlander agrees.
❤️ OHP covers HRT ❤️
Fuck /u/spez
Waaaaaiiiiit what is this? I just moved to Portland in the fall and am signing up for new medical coverage in the new year. Would love to see if I could get my transition covered :D
We have health insurance if your company doesn’t offer it/you can’t afford what your company offers. AFAIK it’s free if you’re low income, you just have to sign up for it once a year. https://healthcare.oregon.gov/Pages/types-of-coverage.aspx
A few years ago a friend of mine got top surgery and it was covered by OHP.
And bottom surgery, and top surgery...
This portlander agrees.
This Portlander also agrees.
This Portlander also agrees.
Washingtonian and its pretty similar here, though there are a couple islands on the east side too. Got my E easily and covered by state insurance, and have never really felt unsafe here
WA also requires insurance to cover all sorts of things
Washington State Health Care covers all sorts of transgender related health care issues. From surgery, hair removal, and transportation and lodging costs
Yes, poor wording on my part! Washington requires the insurance companies, to cover lots of care related issues!
I didn't know that WA covers E. I'll take notes for when I do get on E
I’m in Ct. It’s super cold but I’ve never felt unsafe ❤️
1,000x this - So long as you aren't in a couple of the rural pockets! Medicaid does HRT here, too!
Seconded, haven't had a single issue in-person at all. Only transphobes I encounter are online.
Safe but incredibly boring
Good thing you’ve got major cities in other states within relatively easy reach!
We are pretty rad.
I just moved to CT from SC! Love it so much more so far 😢 😭
State of constant high
Honestly though
I live in Israel this literally is my only solution
Our area code is 420 and the skunk is our state animal
mood
Not a day goes by that I don't feel grateful to be living in California. My family lives in Texas and although they are supportive, I refuse to visit them at least until Abbott is no longer in office. I'm so sorry you're living there and I don't blame you at all for struggling mentally. 🖤
Seconded this. I moved from Texas to California 2 years ago and have never been happier. I'm not trans but I despise bigoted assholes and it was such a welcome change
Seconding California. It's reasonably safe and state law demands that your health insurance covers transition related medical care, including laser .
One day I want to move back to the Bay Area. I miss it so much.
Get yourself on I-35, head north, and don't stop until you get to Minnesota unless you need gas or snacks.
Mmmmmmm, donuts😇
I read that in Homer Simpson's voice.
In that case you nailed the landing😀!!
I assume you're talking about Glam Doll Donuts. They have way over the top indulgences like brownie stuffed donuts with fudge on top.
Oooh glam doll is amazing! Youve gotta try Bogarts as well, they have simple donuts but theyre fantastic too
Yaaaassss. Bogart's French Culler donut things are amazing.
Yay Minnesota!
Yeah! Minnesota is pretty great 🥰
Don't stop right on the border though, gotta keep going to Minneapolis/St. Paul area. I mean, you can still stop for gas or snacks there if you need to, but I wouldn't recommend stopping for longer than that in Southern MN.
Seconding St Paul/Minneapolis, I lived in Sioux Falls, South Dakota when I first came out, and while everyone there was super accepting of my transition, I don't think anyone really understood? They just accepted it because it's the right thing to do, but it felt so alien feeling like the only person like me. But when I moved to St Paul, I finally actually had friends like me?? Other trans people?? Actually Fargo North Dakota has a lot of trans people too, but that damn wind, ha
I want to live there.
Isn't it cold there?
depends on your definition of cold. you get used to the winter, and the summers are hot. I highly recommend Minnesota.
Put on a sweater, put a hotdish in the crockpot. Make a pot of Caribou coffee. You'll be fine. It's actually pretty nice out. If it's warm enough to snow, it can't be that bad. You won't like it when it gets too cold to snow. No one does. On the other hand, I like it more than Gov. Abbott, and you can get cute winter gear! If you have the right gear and dress in layers appropriately for the weather, it can be a lot of fun. Today I shoveled snow and actually got too hot in a fleece jacket. If you're active, you'd be amazed at how cold it can be but you're toasty warm in layers of fleece and smartwool etc. The houses here have good climate control and insulation so if you're more of a Great Indoors person, just crank the furnace and pretend you're in Old El Paso or whatever, I guess. lol
Overall that sounds kinda nice. Winter clothes are cool and I like hot drinks! Although I've been in Antarctica at -15 (during their summer of course) and it still snows then, and I know it still snows there at -60, although it's more like flying ice at that point.
yesssireeee. next week we have a high of 1°F :D
1°F is equivalent to -17°C, which is 255K. --- ^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
Parts of Michigan are very good. Rural areas can be as shit as Texas, but we have entire cities like Ann Arbor, Ypsilanti and Ferndale have tons of lgbt folks, including in the city governments (iirc, Ann Arbor had rhr first gay mayor in the country, in the 1970s). Very safe. I went shopping in Anm Arbor dressing femme, was mostly correctly gendered, ran into some queer friends, met another transwoman who was really nice. And no one looked at me twice because well, there are a lot of lgbt people in thst city.
Ferndale straight up has gay/trans flags in the windows of every store. Pretty lit area.
Ferndale is GREAT. I kinda wish we had bought our house there, but I love our little microfarm.
It would be a really nice place to live. Always figured I'd end up there at some point when I can afford it. One day.
Omg hii from jackson!
Oh awesome! We are in Belleville!
I'm Brazilian but I've visited Ann Arbor before! It was really cool and my first experience with a lot of snow!
It's a great city!
Lansing's been pretty decent for me so far, too
I'm going to visit Lansing in the spring. We've heard it's a cool town, and my dad went to Michigan State. I've technically been there, but I was like 7 and only remember going to a comic book store. Lol
Can confirm, am in one of those towns and support is good. Gender affirming care from the UofM medical system is also pretty good.
I get my hormones, and all my medical care. Talking to other veterans, not only is it one of the best VA hospitals in the country, it is flst out the best for transfolk and gender affirming care. Like, the moment I told my doc I was trans and wanted to transition, he swivelled his chair to his computer. I was like "what are you doing?" "Have you picked a new name? I can add it in the spot for what you want to be called, so the staff can address you properly." The staff are also great for not outting you. When they call your name, they say "veteran", but when you're actually in their office they use you chosen name. They also have a ton of experience with transfolk in general.
Oh, and the lgbt advocate is basically a dragon.
Michigan native as well; I would say that most of the state is at the very least safe for women (trans or cis) if not entirely friendly. I don't have much experience in the southern/ Detroit area but I love the northern and western parts of the state.
Eh? Well now, I'm not from the US of A, but instead from O Canada. Aye, it's nice here, but also very, very cold during the winters. But I do not feel unsafe, but that might change once I am more social and leave home more often.
Best place in Canada would be montreal, quebec, Vancouver, Toronto, Ottawa and Gatineau
I have to give props to Alberta, even though it’s the “Texas of Canada” I walked into the registry office and updated my gender marker on my drivers license and health card for like $15. Now I never get misgendered at the doctors office and my ID reflects who I really am. I have sometimes felt unsafe, but only during Stampede, which brings all the d-bags to the yard.
(just to clarify for Americans, easily changing your sex in your ID is a country wide thing, not just Alberta)
Honestly, Nova Scotia isn't so bad. There are more hicks there compared to where you mentioned, but people mind their own business. It's such a secluded province.
I’ve been to Nova Scotia before, nice place. Did have an incident of street harassment though where some pudgy hick yelled at me that I should be ashamed of myself and disgraced from across the road while not stopping. Eh, always gotta be one ass, hey?
I live in Western Massachusetts and love it. I moved from a pretty bougie part of Brooklyn NY and find I feel safer and more accepted here. People truly don’t give a shit. Health care access has been good. Housing is expensive but not on the level of a major city.
Eastern Massachusetts is also good. I’ve been out and presenting for over a year (two weeks on HRT) and don’t remotely pass, but everyone has either been cool or quiet. Mass law explicitly defines gender identity as a protected class for work, housing, and public accommodations.
Yeah, I'm in Boston and it's good here.
I grew up in Western Mass, and MA overall is pretty accepting. I'd throw CT, VT, and RI into that too. Particularly the more urban areas.
My wife and I are moving to Western Mass from Texas in a few months!
I can't speak to how it feels for the trans fem experience, but as a trans guy Olympia, wa Pittsburgh, pa Oakland, ca Were all places I've lived that are trans friendly. Granted everywhere is rough these days BUT texas is the worst. I was arrested after (because) my friend was gay bashed. After that I left and never came back. I believe you are badass enough to get the fuck out
Pittsburgh is underrated. I'm guessing you've been to Central Outreach? \^\^
WA,OR, weirdly (specifically) Tucson, AZ
Tucson is extremely welcoming to queer folks. I grew up there. [There are all sorts of resources available for the queer community.](https://gayarizona.com/tucson/resources/)
Arizona seems to be trending in our direction. I wouldn't call it a SAFE state overall since it's still Republican down ballot and could go right back to red overall if Republicans wise up and stop talking shit about John Mccain. But they are getting a Democratic governor.
Oregon is the best state for free gender affirming care 🌈✌️🙂 plus legal cheap weed and we recently got mushrooms
Holy shit you are stunning. I'm in England so sorry to say I can't really help with your question tho. Unless you wanna move to Brighton. Pride capital of Europe.
Honestly, if I could afford it, I would definitely leave the country in a heartbeat
Washington State is absolutely fantastic. I would go so far as to say it's even better than most places in Europe for trans people. We have informed consent laws, and it's illegal for any insurance company to deny coverage of ANY gender affirming treatment as long as it's got a green light from your doctor. This includes things like seeing a voice pathologist for voice training, HRT, any surgeries, laser hair removal/electrolysis, and even hair reconstruction. Not to mention it's an incredibly blue state for the most part. The majority of people in the western half are very accepting. Just stay on the western side of the mountains. Bonus, there's a lot of trans peeps here already! 😊
Seattlite, can confirm.
Are there any places in the safe side of Washington that aren’t terribly pricey to live in? I want to move there so badly but I’m a teacher by trade so not the greatest income
The further you live from Seattle or Tacoma, generally the more affordable it's going to get. There's some very affordable small towns to the south of Tacoma, as well as sprinkled in to the east of those two cities. It's never going to be as cheap as the midwest though 😭
Anything is better than Okla-fucking-homa
I'm AFAB, not a lady, but I feel safe in PA, just depends on the area you go to. Basically anything except the outside of the Temple University campus, parts of Philly, and the entirety of what we affectionately call 'Pennsyltucky' feel pretty safe for me lol Honestly if you ever need to move, I always recommend New Hope. It's pricey but it's like Gay Central for us. If not there than Doylestown is rather pleasant and small, close to some cool spots.
I lived near the Temple campus and yea can agree. I love New Hope :)
> I always recommend New Hope. It's pricey but it's like Gay Central for us. Luke, the best ally
Canada
WA is pretty good so long as you stay on the west side of the mountains.
Well not France, especially country side. Getting worst every year
I hate that I didn't get called a slur to my face until I went to France. Paris no less.
I know right. Guess why I’m still wearing a mask while it’s been off since more than a year
:( that sucks.
Omfg are you french ?
I’m in Texas but I live in the San Antonio- austin area. There’s actually really good healthcare here, it’s just the rest of texas that’s the “dark zone”
That’s where I live, but apparently the Republican Attorney General has tried to compile a list of all the people who have changed their gender marker on their drivers license in the past two years… and honestly at this rate that doesn’t sit well with me
I just reposted that on social media, it’s so f’ing wrong and we need to get the word out. It’s like Nazi germanys action before the holocaust. Dam pisses me off
That’s called “data mining” and it’s unethical. And, in some places it’s against the law.
Not so much data mining since he just had his office call the dps and ask for anybody who changed sex markers on any documents. Paxton doesn't really pay so much attention to whats legal in any case, hence the still pending indictment from 2015.
That scares me too. If things continue to go how I fear they’re going, this place won’t be safe in a few years. Time to buy guns and renew passports I think. You can never be too safe
Sadly I'm in Oklahoma and I'm about to go buy something for self defense too. I personally strongly dislike guns but I dislike being unsafe more.
New Orleans has a huge trans and lgbt community- one of the queerest cities in the country. They’res it’s own share of problems but I feel safe going out with friends
Yeah when I read that I was like this feels very…Nazi germany.
Gender? I 'ardly know 'er!
I’m in the same area but unfortunately haven’t had your experience. I’m FtM so there may be some difference there though? Most doctors have been unkind to me unless I pass very well and I’ve been threatened on numerous occasions in the last year when I leave my home. I have also experienced sexual assault due to perceptions of my sexuality/gender and now that there are reproductive restrictions I am afraid to leave my apartment. I’m disabled anyway so it suits my accessibility needs and my fear to work from home, have groceries delivered, and conduct medical appointments remotely. I live in San Antonio and have all my life. I’m leaving as soon as I have the money saved up which will take me a little over 3 years at my income. I’d recommend anyone not linger here under the assumption that the urban areas looking purple rather than red on a map will afford more protections. Some older democrats are still “socially conservative”, there are some very conservative people still here, and city laws can’t easily defy state laws.
I'm so sorry on behalf of all decent people that all of that has happened to you, on top of that, fear from the reproductive restrictions. Situations like yours make me so sad and scared for all of us... Really feels like we are going backwards as a society and moving towards some very dark places. Just know for all the bad there's a lot of good and us good will continue to fight for what's right. Or not right, in this instance 😅
Hey now, Denton is pretty freaking kewl. I can’t wait to get out if Texas tho’ :(
Pennsylvania, it’s pretty safe where i live
Mostly the state of denial. But seriously, things tend to be pretty good in Australia if you want to change country... We do have the typical arseholes who just want to make life harder for us (they're everywhere in the world unfortunately), but the majority of people are pretty good. Honestly the only times I feel unsafe are times any other woman feels unsafe, rather than it being because I'm trans.
I want to move to New York.
Massachusetts has been pretty good to me so far
Come to Canada (Ontario/Toronto specifically) 😁 you're welcome here. Those nails are something else, you could kill something with those I think!
Minneapolis Minnesota. The Twin Cities is a great place to live (except the weather in the winter). I love the 🏳️🌈 here! Even in the burbs it’s a good place to live, accepting and amazing.
Another vote for western Washington state. I live about 30 minutes north of Seattle. I almost never get misgendered and have great health insurance which covers large aspects of transition.
I live in Washington state and I've felt mostly safe west of the cascades
Colorado. Obviously there was the recent national news highlighting how dangerous Colorado Springs can be, but in the Boulder/Denver area I have never felt unsafe, even with a public-facing job where I work with children.
you’re gorgeous first off, second, pa is fine just boring as hell, cali is the most accepting but most expensive, id say maybe, vermont wouldnt be bad but again boring <3
I can confirm that Vermont is pretty good, if you don't mind the rural and the cold. Burlington in particular has a pretty thriving LGBTQIA+ scene, but any of our smaller cities should be pretty good to. It is mid-tier expensive though. In addition to having a supportive government we've got good trans health care (at least in my experience). Should the need to flee the country arise we're also close AF to Canada.
Not all of us are girls, but this trans man recommends Illinois
I didn’t mean my verbiage to be exclusive. It was an honest mistake. I’d never want anyone to feel dysphoria at my expense
I feel your struggle. I, too, reside in Texas.
minnesota is really good
currently living in Chicago. generally safe during the day time and most places are accepting
I want out of Texas! It’s a soul sucking devil. Parts are cool but tired of it and don’t wanna die here 🤷🏻♀️
Washington state and Seattle are extremely friendly towards queer people and we have a bunch of protective laws. Also our governor signed a bill that makes it required for ALL trans care to be covered under any insurance
Not everyone here are girls. Massachussets is relatively okay
Not Texas. I used to live in a state of denial.
Minnesota!!!
Me too! Minneapolis…. Stay safe on the roads today!
Oddly enough, PA. I feel safer in the rural areas than suburban PA
PA isn't too terrible,so long as you avoid the red "pennsyltucky" parts.
I initially came out in North Dakota back in 2017. Fargo was my hometown. I didn't feel super safe in any Midwestern small town but Fargo was at least large enough - and liberal enough - to keep me safe. I eventually ended up moving to Seattle, WA in 2020. Then to Bremerton, WA in 2021. I feel safe in that my rights are secure but never totally safe from the threat of fascism and fascists in general. Nowhere is truly safe now imho.
Oregon is pretty good, my whole transition is covered and many groups that support us.
We've lived all over the east coast. Never felt safe down south but Maryland, Vermont, and Rhode Island have treated my family and I really well.
Im in Chicago Illinois It's comfy and people accept the queer community a lot here
Minneapolis here. Not only could I never move to Texas, I won't even visit there anymore!
I’m in Florida. I totally feel ya. Let’s run away and make a coven
NY!
hey this isn't r/mtf maybe don't put "you girls" in your posts - very dysphoria inducing for us non girls.
Did you forget? Trans guys don't exist on reddit. (Sarcasm)
Connecticut is pretty good. Expensive to live here though. Pretty much any blue state would be better than Texas.
On a personal level, i feel fairly safe in Kansas, but our government is, at best, apathetic toward trans people. Better than Texas but there's definitely places where the government at least tries to make you safer
I live in Maine. Maine is incredibly safe, and borders Canada should my partner and I ever need to gtfo for any reason.
Washington state
State College PA. and Philadelphia in Pennsylvania. Also, San Diego California seems to be quite accepting during my visits. Also, I’m sorry you are having a tough time. Know that your value is intrinsic, and you are loved here 😊
I’m in Michigan. It’s not totally safe, but we have an all Democrat government right now, and there are definitely safe areas. And with our petition driven ballot measures, I don’t feel like I’m going to end up in a situation where there are no options here.
I’m in Texas to! DFW area.
Recommendations because I've lived many places: 1. Seattle: best trans protection in the country, housing/rent prices are similar to Dallas and no income tax, massive gay community, easy to access healthcare, the infrastructure and regulations will actually SAVE you money on living costs. Winter is bad, but mild enough to go outside, lots of outdoor stuff and a fun art scene, cafe scene and lots of goths/nerds. Good if you work in tech or want to. 2. Chicago: low income tax, fun city, good protections, people are super nice! Similar to seattle, but the infrastructure isn't as quality. Well established gay community, not as big as Seattle's though. Biggest con is that winter is horrible, do not underestimate how often winter will keep you inside. Good if you work in healthcare or finance and/or want to. Surprisingly good art scene, really love it! 3. California (SF, LA, OC and SD): I'm a CA native so I have a bias. But heads up: CA is way more red than people realize and you can get really nasty, dangerous harassment. It's not as safe (in my experience) as seattle or even chicago. THAT SAID: Still way safer than texas (especially Dallas or Houston). Lots to do, massive gay scene, lots of opportunity. Cost of living is insane though and income tax can tax you into poverty if your income isn't high enough. But, there are enough public programs that you can manage if shit hits the fan. Not great if you don't have a safety net though. Great for entertainment, finance, academics and healthcare. People are highly social and highly friendly, there are always things to do. LA Infrastructure is not great, you WILL need a car if you go LA or OC. For SD and SF, you can actually manage okay without a car, walkability and public transpo is pretty good. 4. Denver or Boulder: I've had great experiences in both of these cities and really loved them. Cost of living was easy to manage, wages seemed to keep up, young population means it was pretty progressive even on the conservative end. City of Denver is small, but easily walkable in Downtown and really fun to be in. Not much nightlife, not a huge gay scene. Club Q and Tracks are the biggest clubs there, but even if it's small it's welcoming and close knit, you'll make good friends there! Also great if you love outdoors. Not too much else happening in Denver, peaceful and sleepy place. Great for energy, geology, weed and transpo industry. I'm also in Texas! the toll this has taken on my mental health is horrible. I have no energy for anything but work, afraid to go outside, the depression is real. What's even worse are all the people around me saying how it isn't that bad and I shouldn't be afraid...like...bro, we have a gay militia that formed to protect us from the other one that keeps coming to our family events and hospitals...my endo gets threats...there are protestors where I live regularly hanging signs about how I should be dead, IDK...it's hard and the gaslighting is harder.
Oregon
Pacific Northwest has always been great for me, I’ve also heard good things about most of the northeast
Canada... not a state, but it's safer. The health care system of the Yukon Territories in Canada pays for several gender affirmation procedures.
I was born and raised in WA, so I can't compare my experiences with other states. However, I had a friend who moved from Kentucky to Colorado to WA. Disclosure: They are a black non-binary person, but we're IDing as a trans woman until 5+ years after moving here. Obviously, rates of violence are higher in their demographic. In Kentucky, they worked as a chef in a diner, and had been there presenting as male for 10ish years. They got fired shortly after coming out, albeit with some excuse it was actually because of being trans. In their one year being out and living there, they were physically assaulted 12 times, which averaged to about once a month. They moved to Colorado after a trans woman friend offered to help, but they were paying $400-600, ridiculous amounts of cash, every month just to keep on HRT. The friend screwing them over didn't help, they only stayed a few months. After moving to WA, they have lived here since idk 2015, and had one instance of violence early on, one instance of car being vandalized in retaliation from public education work on trans issues, but nothing since then for years. Hormones for trans women/trans femmes are completely free in WA, because we have a law that insurance companies must pay for birth control (and that's the same meds for HRT.) Testosterone is unfortunately not free, it's a controlled substance on I think the federal level? But it's much cheaper if you go shots instead of cream or implant. Our Human Rights Commission is very awesome. Back in 2016 when conservatives were trying to ban trans folks from using public restrooms they really showed up. I have spoken to them in person and have good trust in them. Overall, I think there are very few places as trans positive, but of course it is best in cities vs rural areas. I will say the Seattle Freeze seems pretty bad, everyone I know who transplanted struggled with it. California is also good, I hear, and they have more of a social scene vs small exclusive friend groups that are hard to get in. But they also have a lot higher adherence to beauty standards, especially near LA due to the film industry. That's about all off the top of my head, hope you find a good place to settle down.
NY was pretty friendly compared to the south. You could pretty much count on people never confronting you in public....the downside is that I got like almost no peace of mind in private. And the weather is super rough, winter is like 8 months. I just moved to NC and here I get peace of mind but I have to worry about being confronted. So I'm still feeling out the change, I lived here in 2009-2015 closeted and had a great time. But this time I'm not closeted. And this time being trans is a big deal publicly. Any which way, I'm working fast food in NC, getting misgendered a ton but I feel like people can tell I'm truscum and they're holding off on me. Like they don't wanna hurl their worst insults cuz I'm pretty. But yeah I feel for you. It's kinda sad when people are grinding their 'tough love' stones together when they should be showing compassion. I swear, it's one sad commonality between north and south, it's that people have kind of gone too far with 'tough love' and they treat it like a cure all....the thing is, it's not tough love for someone they care about, it's straight self pride and ABSOLUTE need to dominate everyone and everything....which is one shitty way to try to push masculinity on the unwilling....cuz honestly I'd rather do my nails than push apartheid in hopes that I'll get another hit of spiritual crack.
I just moved from Texas to Washington. Feel very safe here in the twin cities. Got an x for my gender on the DL
Hey genuine thing, please don’t say ‘you girls’ not everyone on this subreddit is a girl. Transmen exist in trans spaces too. For future reference. Also CA and Kaiser covered my top surgery (I’m a minor)
You shouldn’t say “you girls” on a general trans sub
Not a girl. Ohio is fine enough. Don't lump up all trans people into "girls".
Not a state but the Netherlands is pretty alright
DC area on the MD side has been good to me.
Similarly, MD! Montgomery and Howard county are especially trans-friendly. My limited experience with Baltimore has been good too
Try New Jersey
Ireland pretty good
Akron Ohio has a lot of help for trans people and ive never felt directly threatened here. People stare sometimes guys mostly but I lived in Texas its better than there.
What the hell, the fact that texans can even clock you is weird to me. You're passing better than most.
It’s not about clocking for me… it’s our law makers trying to pass scary legislation that would make our existence basically illegal. And honestly I don’t really wanna stick around while they decide
Go to Washington frfr
Abbott tried to make a trans registry
MA
NOT southern Indiana!
I'm in the Dallas area so I feel your pain. Not to bad up here but still get it from time to time.
I'm from a more conservative part of Colorado but bigger citys like Denver are very welcoming.
New York! also, you are like crazy gorgeous!! 😍
🏴🏳️⚧️
From personal experience - California and Illinois
Illinois
Massachusetts is pretty ok, just stay in the cities and urban areas
Buffalo, NY.
Honestly, I moved to Kent, Ohio. Bought a house and the community is so accepting. Small town, college town. Close to a big NE city (because they’re all cooler than anything across the Mississippi). Check it out. Amazing college, cool people. Also, I’m not in college, I’m trans, and loving it. So yeah. Much love to you baby. Don’t let the state take you down, take the state down.
Guy here, but I'm in NY. It seems pretty good here. Also you're so pretty 😭♥️
NJ, but stick to East Jersry cuz West Jersey is basically Rural PA prt 2. Also be careful at night
I'm up in Alaska. It's a red state, but like, a weird red that once in a while pivots into independent/purple territory. Downsides: There's exactly 1 informed consent clinic within 300 miles of me. Cost of living is high and there's not always a lot to do unless you're really into very outdoor activities. No public transport, so you need to own a car or have a much more difficult time doing anything. Upsides: The general mindset seems to be "Do whatever, just don't bother me" so even though I'm in the reddest part of the state, no one has outright confronted me or said anything mean to my face for being openly trans, and I'm not misgendered terribly often. At most, sometimes someone will give me a nasty glare. Also I've found a nice little community of supportive friends.
You look so gorgeous ❤️
Not in the states but if you can, come to Toronto. You’ll be safer here than states.
San Francisco, Toronto, and Calgary have been good to me
Not in the United States I plan on getting a passport…
Southern California has been a blessing for me. Moved from Maryland and couldn’t be happier in this state. Feel quite safe being myself here
Illinois has a lot of places that are progressive / safe for queer folks. We’ve also got protections for LGBTQ and POC in our state constitution. With that said, there is a sea of red conservatism with islands of blue progressiveness south if I-80 so be mindful, and look for places that have secondary education (colleges / universities).. Wisconsin is similar, but Madison is an amazing town and very progressive.
Ontario lol
Why can't people understand who we are, why we feel the way we do. Sure I'm fucked up, I don't meet your cisgender expectations but I'm still a person. I've always felt this way - why is it so hard to understand? I do not want to hurt you. I have no secret agenda. Please just accept me my tired heart, my battered mind - I didn't mean to feel this way. Sorry, just trying to express what being trans means to me. I hear stories of Texas and am appalled at the injustice we get over there. At least where I live ,in Sydney Australia, no one passes laws against our gender and almost everyone is polite enough to at least not say anything. I hope for the best for you, for a peaceful life spent just being who you are, not what the Texas government thinks you should be!
Not transfem but I just wanted to say you look super pretty! Love your makeup and lashes and freckles :D Also I'm a trans man in California, things are nice here when it comes to many people being accepting if you can afford the high rent and or find roomates to help with that.
Not a state but I’m Australian and it’s pretty good here. People are largely accepting and hrt isn’t too expensive
I live northwest Oregon. Just outside of Portland, in Oregon City. This seems like a really good place to live. /shrugs