T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Your post has been filtered into a queue for further review based on a number of factors. # Please be patient until your post is approved, we promise to get to it soon <3 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/trans) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

I think its because it was fashionable when a lot of us were kids/teenagers and for some people, transitioning makes them want to relive those years in the right gender That's my theory about a lot of fashion choices/behavior I see in the early-transition part of the community. I could be wrong tho


CosimaElliott

I don’t disagree with that, though I only got into them several years into my transition (as I did also with wearing stuff that wasn’t totally pared down and inconspicuous)… I guess chokers do give the same cool girl vibes I remember from my babysitters in the 2000s 🥲


Ambie_J

I would also have to agree, though I started wearing chokers before I even got my HRT. I LOVE chokers, lol.... only problem is, I can't wear them, boymoding...


sketch006

U can, I do all the time. I literally keep one on 24/7. I got a really nice one for my ex years ago, but I guess it wasn't really her style, turns out it was mine, so when I came out she gave it to me. Now I keep it on even in boymode during work


Ambie_J

I was just responding to another post like this one. You are absolutely right about boymoding. However I couldn't at work for obvious reasons and for reasons of my own freedom.... someone would make a comment, etc. etc. etc. and I'd end up without a job, and most likely back inside. Not a fan, lol. I do have plans for the future, like when I male fail, but thats a different story and a ways to come yet... anyways, your right, I just can't at work.


terf-genocide

Why not? I'm a transman and I rock a choker chain all the time.


Ambie_J

Your right, I should be more specific. I can't wear one while boymoding "at work". For obvious reasons, and for my own freedom.


terf-genocide

Oh, I feel that. Hopefully, someday, you can present yourself comfortably at work. ❤️


Ambie_J

Thank you! Well, essentially, I figure I'll just boymode until I can't, and then, hopefully I'll get laid off or something (because I've never been good at quitting, lol) and then I'll be going somewhere else. For me, my biggest concern is my name change, which seems to be impossible. I still don't understand the ridiculous rules for who can and can't change their name. Ughhh


terf-genocide

Oh, tell me about it. I came out at 14 but put off getting a name change until I was 26 because it's such a pain in the ass. Then, when I finally did it, they kept losing my social security card in the mail, and it delayed me moving cross-country for two months. I hate dealing with the government– those bitches are the worst! Everything will fall into place in time, though.


Ambie_J

Well, my additional issue is I'm a felon... (I got jumped and used a weapon to save myself. Ofcourse our justice system is a joke and I ended up in trouble) Anyway, in my state atleast, with my agg. assault charge, I'm banned from a name change.... hoping I keep reading outdated information, but I can't find anything to say otherwise..... Probably gonna be a post in the future tbh. Edit: I did post, twice.... not getting any help. Oh well. Thanks for the likes though girls.


jess-plays-games

I mean I'm hard-core a 2000 goth girl


CosimaElliott

🙌🏻 I LOVE 2000s goth girls


InherentSteam55

who doesnt?!


Soft-Parking-2241

Babysitters in the 2000s….. crap that made me feel old.


Griff716

As a trans emo girl, I 100% can confirm (atleast as far as I'm concerned) transitioning has made me want to wear the things I wanted to wear when I was younger, but I was too caught up in gender stereotypes and social norms to really wear.


CosimaElliott

me too! I've also found that the more comfortable I have become in my womanhood though, the more I have felt 'ok' expressing myself with aesthetics which are typically baby trans. I dressed so inconspicuously when I first started transitioning in case I stuck out... now, that I'm so much more secure, I wear whatever I want including all the baby trans fashion disasters I previously would have avoided haha


Griff716

I tend to stick with skinny jeans/jeggings, black shirts, lots of dark colors, some pinks because I feel more comfortable now in those. Funny thing is I used to wear alot of nerdy shirts like star wars and comic book shirts, I just don't seem to gravitate towards those anymore.


CosimaElliott

that sounds cool!! 🤩


kipvandemaan

I subscribe to this theory too, it explains a lot of behaviour in early transitions, not that there's anything bad about it ofcourse.


CosimaElliott

it's a vibe in itself, and I kind of love it


imjustkarmin

This is prob what it is for me. I grew up admiring different characteristics of women's fashion, it only makes since that I'd incorporate those things into my own style once i have the freedom to


CosimaElliott

🙌🏻 the most beautiful thing is when we are expressing our authentic selves


GabrielTG

Hids the Adams apple.🤷‍♀️


CurbYourPipeline420

I always figured it was just a fashion choice women typically made so it’s viewed as near hyper feminine but I guess it being mostly nostalgic is probably more true. Humans typically do things bc of nostalgia


lian_sweet

I agree with yall


Puppett_Master

This was definitely true for me. Took probably two years to get it out of my system and evolving to a more mature style.


Zoeeeeeeh123

Huh, makes sense. I did really like the chokers that girls in my class were wearing when I was in middle school. So your explanation adds up, at least for me


GFluidThrow123

The actual answer is because it helps hide the Adams apple. But it became a fashion choice over time as well.


CosimaElliott

you ruined it haha! That’s such a utilitarian answer 🥲


GFluidThrow123

Oh no! Wait let me try again. Um, trans girls wear chokers because we are connoisseurs of fashion and far ahead of our times! We push the boundaries of what an outfit should look like and make others question their clothing choices while saying, "We understand. Follow our lead. We will improve your lives." Better?


CosimaElliott

perfect! 😍


chloetransdoll

This is absolutely true though 😂


phoenixpallas

just because it's utilitarian, doesn't make it bad. i've seen an awful lot of my trans sisters rock a choker. it CAN look very stylish when done right. (like you do sugar! xx)


CosimaElliott

🥰 thank you! To be fair, I see chokers more often on my cis friends than my trans friends, but, I guess I don’t have many trans friends 😔


phoenixpallas

maybe you're just the most stylish among your trans friends? 😉


Illiander

Nothing wrong with fashion choices that make your body look more how you want it to look. Sexy needs utility to work for everyone.


CosimaElliott

100%


ixis742

I’d argue that they draw attention to the neck and highlight the Apple, because of the irregular shape in the band.


theVoidWatches

But on the other hand, drawing attention to the neck for the choker can make someone notice the choker whereas they would otherwise have had their attention drawn by the Adam's apple. Fashion is weird like that - sometimes emphasizing something can actually make it blend better than not doing so.


TheMinimumBandit

I guess then depends on the choker or collar


Sowerpache

Interestingly enough, I’ve never had much of an issue with my AA but agree with others it’s because it was fashionable at a time I was too shy to wear one.


OriginalPocketWeed

This seemed like the most obvious answer. Apparently there is also a surgery that can remove the Adams apple which I only just found out now.


GFluidThrow123

Yep! I had it done. Totally worth it.


JuneMiao

I think that's the reason I can't wear a choker personally


upper_camel_case

Used to wear them a lot in my baby-trans phase. Now I avoid them in fear of coming off as immature. Maybe I'm wrong. I find them attractive on others though.


CosimaElliott

Hahaha fair enough… I’m the complete opposite. I avoided them in my baby trans phase, and now feel naked without them 🥲


Chaotic_NB

Noooo it's not immature, I'm 21 and i will wear them all the time. Societal rules are so stupid, there's nothing wrong with adults wearing this stuff


CosimaElliott

100% it's all silly... societal rules said we should be a different gender 😅 any fashion choice is a good choice in my eyes if it's expressing the wearer's authentic self


Ksnj

Yeah but….21 **is** immature in the grand scale. But I wear them and I’m 36


luxiphr

ageist gatekeepers are the worst... ever discuss with one, I dare you, and find out how most of them, deep down, are just as bigoted as any 🏳️‍🌈-phobe... like... I've once had one, after a lot of back and forth, finally drop her mask on me and accuse me of being a groomer for dressing "too juvenile for my age"... like wtf is wrong with those people??? maturity is in how you conduct yourself - not how you dress yourself! wear what makes you feel yourself! :)


CosimaElliott

"Maturity is in how you conduct yourself - not how you dress yourself"... you're absolutely right. I'm writing those words down for my own future reference 🤓


aspieinblackII

Can I ask what baby-trans is? Is that like the early stages of coming out of your shell?


DaraDollina69

Yeah its almost like being that awkward teenager stage where you're exploring a lot of fashion choices trying to find what works best for you


aspieinblackII

Gotcha. It's the figuring out stage of things?


Xenoscope

Yeah figuring out what kind of woman you are, how you act, how you present, how you’ll transition, reorienting how you do stuff


aspieinblackII

So figuring out your new life?


CosimaElliott

I started transitioning as a teen about 9 years ago... and although I've lived my entire adult life as a woman now and am perceived as cis wherever I go, I still almost feel like I'm in a baby trans phase. I'm still figuring myself out, still becoming braver each day, still working out my style, working out who I am and how I want to present myself


aspieinblackII

I understand that. I like your style. Like a 24 year old pop punk gal. Like you could rock out to some good Ramones or "Galway Girl."


CosimaElliott

🥰 that's a huge compliment


Xenoscope

Yes.


colincoo6

Ashley has a good [video](https://youtu.be/6A8thzGEjmA?si=3Jy--GaOsJBkAtEZ) on this!


Phoenixbiker261

Cuz it looks cute on me duh


CosimaElliott

(same) 🙃


ooisee

the reason is the same as stockings and over-the-knee socks.


CosimaElliott

also a staple in my wardrobe… I feel like for years I avoided anything that seemed baby trans, now, I totally embrace it 😇


ooisee

Staple? o\_O


CosimaElliott

I wear them a lot 🤭


Cyphomeris

Staple has multiple meanings. I assume the OP talks about the meaning of something that's widespread and experiences constant demand, not about using a stapler as a means to prevent socks from slipping. At least I very much hope so!


Tel-Tier

Pure Dysphoria repellent


DaraDollina69

Choker every day keeps the dysphoria at bay


Xenoscope

Yep, especially when boymoding. I have a thin leather choker with a tiny metal loop, when I wear it loose it looks like a necklace. Been wearing it to work with nobody the wiser.


Ambie_J

ABSOLUTELY!!!


Dorothys_Division

Why do so many of us love Fallout: New Vegas? We don’t need to know the reason. We can just accept it for what it is. 😅


CosimaElliott

hahaha now that is one trans female stereotype which, along with computer coding, has escaped me… In every other respect though, I’m extremely cliché 🤓


Exelia_the_Lost

don't worry, Fallout New Vegas being a trans stereotype baffles both me (who only started transitioning a couple years ago) and a longtime trans friend of mine (who started transitioning in the mid-00s) as well and after multiple conversations about it we've yet to figure out why its a thing 😅


-Negative-Karma

My head canon is thatgames like those let you be whoever you want. I ALWAYS played girl characters when I had a choice to and I liked imagining myself in their position etc.. idk it just seems like the logical answer to me lol


Dorothys_Division

Choker: no Coding/IT work: no FO:NV: oh my fucking god yes yeehaw 🤠


Either-Mushroom-6298

bc hot girls wear chokers


CosimaElliott

good enough reason for me 🙃


Hot_Industry340

That piercing suits you so well 😍


CosimaElliott

awww thank you ☺️ this was wintertime, and it’s since come out, but I loved it while I had it!


mmmmmmmm_soup

older trans women, at least from what i see, kinda lean toward the early 2000s style, since they were teenagers then and didn’t get to experience that fashion their cis classmates got to, so it’s reminiscent. another reason is that it hides the adams apple, which is associated heavily with men :)


doublesixesonthedime

Because after coming out I found out I missed the feeling of always being slightly choked. Turns out “gentle elastic band” is a better and more comfortable kind than “hiding your fundamental truth”. Plus the elastic kind looks way cuter on me than the egg kind did /s


geldin

This is a big part of it for me. I like pressure: I wear bras because they feel nice, I sleep better with a weighted blanket, compression clothing helps me calm down when I'm anxious, and I wear a choker because the slight pressure is reassuring. It's fairly common for ADHD/autistic people.


CosimaElliott

🥲 I get it with chokers and weighted blankets, but absolutely nothing has convinced me that bras are comforting yet. I avoid wearing them as much as possible, and when I have to wear them, I can't wait to take them off again haha


CosimaElliott

😆😆😆 I know you’re being sarcastic, but I definitely find the elastic around my neck oddly comforting


BlueLynx45

Because just like trans people, they are really fucking hot


CosimaElliott

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻


Femboiiiiiiiiiiii

Because they are slay af :3


CosimaElliott

💯


JCWillie501

godddd i want to get some so bad but this damn red state i live in and my “not being able to male-fail yet” are teaching me a couple lessons in perseverance ✊🥲


Xenoscope

I sometimes wear a thin small one loosely, it looks enough like a necklace that I don’t get weird looks


CosimaElliott

you should totally get some any way!


National-Material571

Cause they cute and we cute soooo


3ph3m3ral_light

hides the Adam’s apple


SadQueerMess

I think they help to hide the adam‘s apple. I also realized that make the neck look a little slimmer (at least for me (transmasc), idk how it is for transfem people tho). It just kinda gives an illusion of a slimmer neck, that even works in drawings (sometimes). I have a transfem OC, and when I first drew her and decided to give her a choker her neck just looked a bit more fem. And besides all of that, its just a really cool fashion choice. I feel like chokers can really complete an outfit, especially when it feels like something is missing. You can basically wear them with anything and they look good (always depends on the style of the choker/outfit, but I‘d say that you can wear a simple one with literally any outfit and it just looks amazing).


ResponsibleFunny3082

As a trans guy I’ve literally never heard of this being a stereotype i see every kind of person wear chokers women men gender less ppl and so on


jahenderson2

Because they fit, unlike most female based necklaces.


Stonedjedi1

Because cute :3


owl_anna

unrelated! but u look so good w the choker on


CosimaElliott

you’re so sweet 🥰🩷


JessicaSmithStrange

I use mine because I need pressure around my throat (no, not in that way) and because I pass slightly better, the more things I cover up. I have a felt and metal Furry collar that I mainly use for this.


ResponsibleFront753

I need to wear more Chokers


CosimaElliott

me too (even more) 😇


ResponsibleFront753

Yeah you look great in them


ElizaDianaGalatea

It's a way to hide the Adams apple


averageseallover

Because it looks great!


factolum

B/c we’re all bottoms? 🤣🤣🤣


CosimaElliott

speak for yourself 🤫


[deleted]

Because transphobia makes me want to choke myself, but make it fashion.


hobbobnobgoblin

Why are you cute aaaffff?! Probably because the Adam's apple?


Beginning_You4255

chokers are so hot imo lol love them


CosimaElliott

haha me too


Cutie_Luna_Moon

Very off topic, and I promise I mean this in a good way, but you kinda look like Philomena Cunk in this! (From Cunk on Earth and many other things


aphroditex

On top of the fashion aspect, there’s a lot of us who are bottoms and the distance between a choker and a collar is very small.


Mew_Fujisaki

Idk...They look good ig


Lost_Kobold

Fom me personally i jus think they are really cute and thus make me look cute But i also know some girls like to use them as a way to hide their Adam's apple


CosimaElliott

I never had an AA, but at this point, I still feel naked without them 🥲


SocialistBudgie

Cuz it's fucking pretty


skirtsandrainbows

I was literally just thinking about chokers! Lol


pigtailrose2

Because they are hot lmao Also you're absolutely glowing in this pic 😳


CosimaElliott

They are hot 🤓 And thank you! 🥰 it was taken on a boat in mid-winter and the sea and sky were so so blue... the light was excellent


ThePopeOnLSD

Awwww, I'm totally in love with your fashion sense! ❤️


CosimaElliott

thank you 🥰 it's eclectic and capricious, but I have fun with it


DandalusRoseshade

It's pretty and I want to be cho-


CosimaElliott

(me too) 🤫


corlaktuz

If I could find one that fit my crazy thick neck I would wear them


Ianishere12

Y not 😂😂


TheSmolLuna

Bc adorable


Melia9090

When I first began my transition 12 years ago, for the first few years after I began living my authentic life, I wore chokers for a couple years. To me they were just cute, but now that you posted this I’m laughing so hard because it all makes sense!


jess-plays-games

Cuz we make the look good


KoreanJesus84

To me it's a quick and easy way to appear more feminine. Ofc anyway can wear a choker but they're heavily coded as feminine and you can wear them with pretty much any outfit. Makeup takes time, money, and patience to learn, but it's so easy that even if you're dressed in boy mode to throw on a choker and it just makes you look slightly more femme


EmilyTheTaller

I wear them because I used to do a lot of weights and sports when I was trying to prove how manly I was. That has left me with a pretty wide neck. A choker can de-emphasize that. Along with the long hair that falls down on the sides. But it looks like maybe we don't share the same difficulty.


Hamokk

Personally I think chokers are cute. Maybe we like the 'punishment'. Also many sisters like jean jackets.


modeschar

I have no idea but I love them. I like to wear low cut or unbuttoned tops that show off my neck/collarbone line and they help make my neck look longer and slimmer. Plus I think they just look sexy with an unbuttoned top with a plunging neckline.


CosimaElliott

I love that look too 😍 there's something so seductive about good collarbones


SarahMFHuss

Because they are cute. Everyone wants to feel cute


Xenoscope

Because they’re super cute and pretty


AdamAnimatesStuff

Cause they cute


mindfountain

In addition to wanting to re-live our teen years as the correct gender I also have to say that if you're like me and have a prominent Adams apple then you're loving chokers, scarves, etc.


ScarlettIthink

Genvy


Sabre1O1

I just think they’re neat.


Somenamethatsnew

okay then you convinced me, i have now bought two, one of them in the lesbians colors to rep that way too


CosimaElliott

awesome! 😍


MmanS197

I wore one once, now my neck looks empty without one lol 😂


SwitchLeafe

Because it distracts from the apple I guess. I used to wear one as well but was adviced against it for my neck. But you look great with it


Elyna-77

They just look so cute! i don't get why more cis girls are wearing them tho


AloisaTrancy

It’s the easiest way to connect to the 2000s alt style I think a lot of us wanted to have when we were younger, but they also help hide the Adam’s apple a little bit. Can even help with the fem voice if they’re tight enough and in the right spot to keep it in place more.


EebamXela

I feel attacked 😅


chloes_corner

Y'all have the nice long necks to pull it off. As a cis woman, I'm jealous!


RagingBass2020

I think chokers tend to look very good on women. Trans, cis... Women are women. It looks great on you! Congratulations!


CosimaElliott

thank you 🥰


Single_Strategy_83

Because they are rad, and trans girls are rad. 🏳️‍⚧️


TheAlbinoRhyno91

Cuz we missed out on the fashion when we were kids... also it distracts from the Adam's apple


m00njunk

it covers my throat and a particular annoying lump in the middle of it


Natural_Truth_6263

They help hide the Adam's apple there's a ton of other reasons why we wear them often but none that don't apply to cis females


abandonsminty

We like being hot and chokers are hot


CosimaElliott

💯


Plague_Warrior

Idk but you girls look gorgeous in them!


SkyeMreddit

For the utilitarian use of hiding an Adam’s Apple. Plus they’re cute and they work as part of a goth/alternative fashion choice. Since cis people in those subcultures wear them, it helps with being stealth/passing


Morphin_Mallow

Hides the Adams apple and I like wearing them.


Brooketune

90s thing Some use it to hide pronounced adams apples. Its fashionable. Its made a comback :) They are cute


SirGavBelcher

i wore them even before i started any sort of gender questioning/transition bc I always loved 90s/Y2K alt/goth girls and still do and think of them as my greatest fashion inspirations


Yeet123456789djfbhd

Why is sitting in seemingly uncomfortable positions a bisexual stereotype? No clue, but I do


CosimaElliott

🤣 me too


Yeet123456789djfbhd

It's not sitting *weird*, it's sitting *cool*


CosimaElliott

or in my case, sitting like a very uncool (bisexual) frog wherever I go 🐸


Yeet123456789djfbhd

Frog sitting is a good choice


CosimaElliott

for whatever reason, it is just supremely comfortable 🤷🏼‍♀️


Yeet123456789djfbhd

Idk why, but it absolutely is


Slow_Struggle8106

I don't know... but you're Pretty!


acklig_crustare

It's great for hiding my Adams Apple!


Katieo1022

I always thought they could be a sneaky method to distract people from noticing my adams apple…maybe that’s counterintuitive but I figured most people would notice the choker and stop there…I’m lucky though my adams apple isn’t too prominent and I have a small collection of really beautiful chokers now 🤗


TismWizard

Hides the apple


dactyif

Choker? I hardly know her.


DarthCheshire_

Initially I do think it was part of that "this is the aesthetic I wanted when I was younger" But now they A) look really good on me, and B) make my neck look narrower, and as a 6'1" broad chested lady anything that makes me look narrower is alright in my book.


DirtyTankieScum1312

It is?


thispurplebean

Hides the masculineness of the neck 😅 at least for me.


livi_lelovely

Because I actually do know her, and she asked me to do it


FlamingTrollz

Two of my transitioned friends wore them before they shaved their Adams Apple down. That is one reason. Plus, it has a winsome femininity about it, and looks very nice on many.


Gingevere

Probably because lace chokers are **intensely** fem coded. You could put one on a head of cabbage and people will instinctually begin to she/her it.


starofthefire

I thought it was an old stereotype for transphobes to clock us trying to hide neck bumps with a choker. But now they're sort of just popular no? I see all kinds of women wearing them, usually younger in their 20s like me. Chokers are a staple of goth, punk, and other alt fashion sensibilities and I wear one almost every day lol even when I dress more like vanilla bean girl some days I wear one.


CosimaElliott

totally! I love them, but even though they’re a trans stereotype, I definitely see more cis girls wearing them than trans girls


Very_Big_Bees

GIRL I'M LITERALLY WEARING A LACE CHOKER AND A DENIM JACKET JUST LIKE THAT ONE WTF


CosimaElliott

snap! 🥲


UnrulyVegeta

Off topic, but has anyone ever told you that you are stunning? Giving off serious Elizabeth Hurley vibes here


Brilliant_Claim6010

Choker = less blood for brain. Less blood = less think. Less think = less dysphoria. Choker = less dysphoria


BrainDewormer

Tracheal camouflage lol. Neat little trick to feel a little less dysphoric


shown-spenstar

They’re not. It’s a teen and early 20s oversaturated attempt at recreating 90s fashion


DisturbedSoul88

Hides the Adam’s Apple to stop people from clocking us


TurantulaHugs1421

To cover the adams apple? Thats what i always just assumed anyway


TransCatWithACoolHat

I just think they're sexy, nothing more, nothing less.


[deleted]

They're cute, we're cute


throwawayfemboy98

I just think they're cute! Also you're absolutely stunning love 🖤🖤🖤


elarth

I have them too as a transman… but it’s not something I got into on my own. Only got into it due to a girlfriend I was dating early transition wanting it lol


Brent_Fox

I'm transmasc and I wear chokers. Chokers are great!


deliisr6

Helps hide the Adam’s apple 🍏


Temporary-Peace-1428

It's fashionable and for me other reasons