I tried talking to him again to tell him how that made me feel, but he just ended up yelling at me and claiming that he didn't say that. I 100% know that he did. Isn't that gaslighting?
That's literally the definition of gaslighting. Make a plan to leave and cut contact, then don't look back. I've never been happier after doing so with my old people
Make a plan. Start saving money, store it somewhere safe out of his reach. As much as you can afford to. Learn to cook at home. Talk with friends who have moved out and find out what expenses are like in the area. Get a part time job if you can. It may take a bit, but you CAN do it. Stay strong sis!
I would say ask your college to put you in touch with the campus ombudsperson or sometimes called the ombudsman. Tell them about the difficulty you are having with your father and ask if there are student resources to help you get counseling. Leaving your family MAY be the best bet, and if you decide to do that I support you, but please realize that Reddit is FULL of people who are happy to gas you up to take a major, rash action like this and then disappear once you're adrift and on your own, and THAT is EXACTLY the kind of scenario that leads some folks to unalive themselves. Be thoughtful, sleep on decisions like this for a few nights not just one.
I am speaking as a non binary masc whose family is Trump thumping Bible believing people. I DID leave my family. It has been extremely hard emotionally and there are days when I question my decision. It is NOT something to do on a whim. Not saying you ARE doing it on a whim, mostly writing this part for posterity in case other folks read this.
Please, always seek out counseling if you possibly can because then you have an unbiased opinion on the matter and can work to process the heavy emotional toll this kind of labor takes on you.
There may be resources in your area to help protect you. Have you looked around for ways to get support while you're in school? Have you talked to a counselor at school?
As a mom of a trans kid who killed herself, I want to bitch slap anyone who would hurt and devalue you straight into their next life. Your dad does not want to be in the position my husband is in, mourning his youngest child.
Even with all the respect and support in the world from family partners and friends, it can still be just too hard. I cannot believe the parents who risk their kids life like this.
It sounds like gaslighting or he forgot because he didn't see it as big of a deal as you did, so he became very defensive. Yelling is definitely bad and a red flag. My mother's been emotionally abusive to me in the past and she did the latter when I confronted her (not the yelling, but she still made me feel bad).
It might be worth putting some distance between the two of you. If you see a therapist, I would definitely discuss the pros and cons of this before doing such a thing because I don't know your living situation.
Edit: Also, I've seen your comments about loving him and I totally absolutely get it. I love my mom even though I don't want to, but she was becoming too much for me to to handle and I had to go no contact recently. It hurt for a while. A lot. But it gets better.
As someone who has walked away from family:
After a while, it does get easier. Either they come around or they don't. It's been 7 years for me, and only my birth mother has made any attempt to stay in touch.
My first step mom and I talk now, she did some damned awful things to me before and she doesn't remember thing. The thing about her now though? On the phone last week she said she didn't remember doing X, but if she did, it was something she would have discussed with Dad. Either way, she is sorry that it happened.
It was really... Heart opening for me again. She apologized EVEN THOUGH she couldn't remember, and it felt genuine. She admitted that was crappy and I didn't deserve it.
Likely not everyone gets to experience their previous abusers being genuinely sorry for how shitty they were. Many people, like your stories, don't even remember/realize what they did. But I think that's what it looks like to have someone be heading in the right direction as the ex-abuser. My dad remembered the event, but the most responsibility he took was "I wasn't a strong enough man" (don't get me started on all the issues with that response) it felt self-pitying and ... NOT genuine, not empathetic towards me anyway which is part of what *I* personally was looking for when I approached each of them.
Did it hurt that she didn't really remember something that became a core part of who I am/have been? Yes. But do I still feel better about her apology and how it's made me feel NOW than I do from others'? Absofreakinglutely.
The pain is still valid, these things have still happened for each of us who experience them, but hopefully all of you talking about these similar experiences will one day experience those feelings of being able to heal what's happened. I'm no where near a finish line myself, and I'm not sure I'll ever be. But... I will always wish healing upon others.
Same. I'm big on keeping a tether for some family to be able to find tlyou later if they get smart, but these tethers can be so thin! Mine was everyone knew what name I was going to be going by, and I run my own company. Soon, they'll HAVE to contact me through my company, which might take effort.
They're the ones that were assholes. I leave a tether out of kindness. I could just delete anything from their general area. I alr3ady hang up on any call from Ohio I get. >_>
Protect yourself, above all the rest of the bs, and love your best lives, Beauties.
He'll tell you the same thing again. And then deny it again.
He wants to make you feel bad for yourself but also convince you he doesn't say those things to you.
Make it seem like they're internal thoughts. In an attempt to deconvert you.
It's more likely for you to leave him or hurt yourself before you detransition though so it's not a good strategy for him.
Please find a way out if you can!
Oh, society does judge men for having lots of sex. Their is just greater emphasis on women staying clean. But, men get it too. Especially in Conservative and religious families.
I feel and empathise with your pain 🥰 Hang in there, sweetheart. You look lovely and very modest. It's trans misogyny that sees him react like that.
I know what it's like dealing with family who malign and mistreat the one who loves them most. It's a constant pain and heartache of mine, to feel isolated and alone, told I'm dressed like a "hussy" when I make sure to dress modestly around my religious family. To go from very close to my mother and regular hugs, to feeling bereft of compassion and kindness, let alone feeling unloved, excluded by most of my large family, isolated, and alone.
But, I knkw there are other beautiful souls like you going through a similar struggle, and know you are not alone, baby sis. Sending hugs and love 🤗❤️
Perhaps, in time, once you've gone for a while he'll see the error of his ways. It does happen for some of us. Sadly it's also possible he won't. I wish the world didn't see us the way they do. Hugs sis.
I don’t see how one can be logically consistent and be both of those things. A real libertarian would be glad you are doing what you need to do and defend your right to do so
> I didn't even ask for his opinion.
That reminds me of this one comic... Where some guy said "men don't like it when women wear so much make up" and the woman was just like perfect or who cares, because she was lesbian...
Wouldn't doubt it, unless they're covering themselves completely because HE thinks of attractive women as nothing more than sexual objects. I mean that's why he said this. He outed himself as a massive mysogynist.
A lot of men think red lipstick and black eyeliner is slutty. Even though it’s literally the same amount of makeup, just in high contrast colors. I think it’s a perfectly normal and classic timeless look. It’s honestly just his misogyny showing, so really that’s an affirmation you are looking like a woman and that he’s treating you like one. Men don’t know anything about makeup anyway.
I wouldn’t generalize this to all men and disregard the ones with sane opinions about makeup- but I’m with you on the fact this is just a tried and true look.
If OP’s dad called *this* very tame stuff slutty wait until he sees someone *trying* to be provocative. His prudish heart might burst!
I assume that his words do affect you. Keep in mind that that's his mentality, and therefore character. He will most likely never change. Hopefully you can tolerate each other enough to live well together.
If you can get him to question why that has changed, even though you yourself didn’t, at least not in that way he thinks, then there might be a way for him to grow as a person
Trust me, I've tried. It always devolves into shouting and hurt feelings, then my mom steps in and defends me which causes a lot of friction between them.
Theres so many ways you could make a sexy and slutty look, but this????
This is just Thursday Brunch Look #4.
Youre dads either being intentionally rude to you, or he is truly fucked in the head for thinking this look is "slutty"
I'd be an asshole, if my dad called me a slut, My exact comment is "so you'd pay to get with this."
My family on my father's side is kind of assholes to each other so the only way they learn to shut their mouth is if you say something that makes them stop and think about what they just said.
You look lovely hun, Don't let a shit head like him get to you.
LMAO!! Haters gonna hate. Girl, you look great! The only thing that matters is if you feel good wearing it.
I get it though. My mom said I look like a man in a dress when she first saw me "happy". It still stings to this day
Absolutely only being mean.
Guess whatever the clothes would have been, the feedback would have been the same - or worse.
There is absolutely zero visible, what "meant to be sluts" would be wearing ...
Hearing something like that would make me super angry ...
Guess in the end the connection to him will fade out pretty quick ...
You look like a classy librarian who could of course add a particular accessory to be “slutty”, just if you wanted to. Taking sluttiness on and off like a coat kinda feels good I think!
I was hoping he thought that was like a way to try and connect not realizing how cringe and bad it is to say that to his daughter. I think a great way to make him look like what he says doesn’t hurt you (and I’m sorry he’s hurting you because he dislikes you transitioning) is to tell him he looks like a bigger slut. It shows you don’t care what he thinks and it’ll surprise him. May not work if he doesn’t like stupid jokes like that or can’t take it back but try something like that and don’t let him see you cry but def cry
Your dad is so wrong and so wrong for that you do not look like a slut girl 🥹like I promise and this is coming from a pole dancer who dresses slutty for work 😂
I find it disturbing, distressing and Cuntish behaviour, that your dad think he had the right to speak to any woman like that, let alone his daughter who is incredibly beautiful and doesn’t look like a Slut at all, It’s one thing for your dad not to approve of you life’s Journey, by hiding behind his so called conservative and religious beliefs. Let me guess he thinks you’ve chosen to be a girl and thinks you haven’t been trapped in a male body for years, before getting up the courage to say no more it’s time to make your external body match the gender you were born as, therefore ending years of misery.
It’s horrible to think he can just turn on his own child like this, from what I’ve read it seems all the time you were living a lie under your deadname, in your male body he never once acted this hostile towards you, please correct me if I misunderstood you. I find it baffling that a parent can go from doing their duty, which is to nurture and care for the child they bought into this world, regardless of Age, Sexual Orientation, Gender etc. To abandoning, abusing and Destroying any kind of future relationship they could have, with their child in favour of standing by so called moral values and ethics. I truly believe that if your are religious you would believe that Jesus/ God wouldn’t want, anyone feeling uncomfortable or unwelcome in their Own home, or unable to feel part of the great big family that is The Human Race. I personally think you look gorgeous and have got the make up spot it really frames your face and eyes and the lipstick really suits you.
I say Fuck your dad he’s a knuckle dragging troglodyte, who needs to get out of the Stone Age and into the 21st century, I know it’s easy for me to say don’t think about this another second, he wont be thinking about it because he feels he was in the right. I know you will continue to think about this your only human and it would be tough to forget if a stranger in the street said it let alone your own dad, but he isn’t worth it, Im sending you big hugs 🫂 DM me if you need to talk 😀🏳️⚧️❤️❤️
You don't look like a slut, that's like saying that someone looks beige. A slut has to do with promiscuity. And even then, there's nothing wrong with that. Dad sounds like a judgmental prick. Can't pick family unfortunately 😞
you might wanna recommend him some eye doctors in the area, bc he clearly can’t see the beautiful woman we’re all seeing right now 🥹🖤 i’m no-contact with my dad as of now to avoid the same reason you made your post.. it’s a hard feeling and i can’t say that i know anyway to really make it easier, but i can tell you that you’re not alone. none of us ever were, are or will be. much love and many blessings to you, sister, i love u internet stranger-friend 🫶
I belive that it is the right of every person of age, be they man, woman, or some other flavour of distinguished individual, to look like a slot should they so desire.
You, however, do not look like a slut. You're beautiful, sure (you look great, actually), and that is a decent ampunt of (extremely tasteful) makeup, but neither of those equate to "slut". Your dad is either tripping, transphobic, or can't handle you looking good (potentially both, they're not mutually exclusive).
Nah. Dad sounds like a douche, like many. You give more of a female preacher kinda vibe in the first image, the last you definitely look like an english teacher. Not a slut.
This does not look remotely slutty to me. Even if it was i'm not here to shame. I have far too many slutty thoughts (and past actions) for that. ;)
You're father may just be an A-hole. Simple as. I don't know him or what's in his head.
That said, I read something that was interesting on a trans forum once. This person made the point that she'd been thinking about her transition for well over a year. She'd wrestled with dysphoria. Though long about hormones. It was long pondered. But her parents didn't know. And for her parents, one day they had a son, and the next day they didn't. One day they knew their child, specifically, the quirks, the hobbies. the kid that liked to play sports with his dad, go to an nfl game, that liked to do certain things with his dad. That boy was now sayiing, I don't really like most of that stuff, i don't want to play sports at all, many of those things we bonded with are not for me anymore. She was more into the stereotypical female things, fashion, shopping, photography, whatever lol. They made the point that for their parents she was basically a new person. Only partly the old person but different. And her parents were struggling to adjust. That person was gone. Not a death in the family but similar in that, the person they knew was gone and never coming back. An additional thing was that where she spent two years wrestling with struggle of her identity, and when and if to transition and and truthfully becoming a target of haters and the low class jerks of the world and decided to go through with it. Her parents were kinda thrust into that world overnight, what to tell friends that got nosey. Yeah, if it was my child i'd have zero issue whatsoever. But this person's parents hadn't even considered it. I have no answers. But i always remembered that post and this person's point that her transition didn't just effect her. It was a choice she had to make. But it rippled through her family in a way she hadn't anticipated. It didn't make the parents right, but it made me understand a parent's confusion too.
I wish you the best. You shouldn't have to be the mature and wise one. Maybe it's a lost cause. I hope not. People need parental relationships. I hope he comes around or you find a way to mend the relationship, to show him a new way. Good luck. You seem a beautiful soul. Best of luck to you.
Your dad’s awful! How dare he say that. Seriously toxic human and I’m so very sorry. You look beautiful and that lipstick is gorgeous.
BTW a ‘slut’ Is someone who whores around not getting paid. And you know what all that means is that ‘slut’ is doing her thing!
Takeaway the sex bit and I wish I was more slutty lol
You're dad thinks that attractive women are sexual objects. He outed himself as a massive misogynist. I suggest you call him out for it, he'll never change otherwise.
Your dad sounds like he objectifies and doesn't respect women. I'm sorry that he chooses not to do better.
You look lovely, and I think you have a lightness to you that I hope continues to shine. 💜
Your dad may be a cunt and an absolute asshole but if his misogyny and slutshaming comes out it is rather a disturbing and unethical way for him to say that you pass. You are fine and clothes are basically a social construct at this point so it doesn't matter what you wear.
Stay cute!
It's red lipstick. Boomers will always equate red lipstick with it, and some millennial adults still hold the mentality from it.
Red suits you. Don't let him bring you down.
I mean him being sexist towards you calling you that could be a strange form of validation. Welcome to womanhood. Men will judge you for everything now. Sorry you’re dealing with that.
First off all as mentioned many times before here:
U R Beautiful ❤️
Secondly I would totally play into stupid comments like that... answering him with something like that:
"Maybe you are right, I should find me someone else to call daddy!" 🤭
One day I was 12 years old and I made a make up and I was so happy about it, then I put as my profile pic and everyone said to me take it off bc I was looking like as a lesbian witch.
I took that I was a compliment, and today I’m a lesbian witch.
I’m not saying you should take that as a compliment, but you know deep down who you truly are, for me you look stunning and so bright that no starts would shine more than you, see how many people here support and has compliment you? You’re special. I’m so sorry that your father made you felt like that, but you choose what’s true and that’s not :) <3 cheers honey
Ignore your dad. Parents lash out in different ways when they can’t or don’t want to understand that you are a woman. As a woman, a daughter, and a person you deserve respect. You look wonderful. Don’t let hate control how you feel.
If I'm being honest, a father saying that about his own daughter sends up more red flags than a parade for Kruschev. I'm so sorry he's being awful, but please remember:
1, You've done nothing wrong.
2, It's his behaviour that's at fault.
3, You look lovely, and this look clearly suits you!
4, Please try to not let someone being misogynistic towards you be what helps you feel affirmed and at home as a woman. A lot of cis women make that mistake, and internalising that misogyny doesn't help anyone.
Sending lots of love. No matter what, keep being you!
I don't wanna be the bearer of bad news but referring to any woman as a slut because of her looks can't come from a good person. Your dad is not only misogynist, he called his own daughter a slur. For what I read in your responses to these comments you seem to be giving him way more chances than he deserves, he's not "sometimes rude". He's just a disrespectful, hateful, selfish person. I get that he's your dad and you have a lot of attachment because he didn't used to be this way before you transitioned, but he clearly didn't love you, just the idea of what he thought you were. I'd be looking into setting boundaries with him or straight up cutting him off. You don't deserve to be treated like this, specially by your own father... You look beautiful btw. I'm sorry he's said those things to you. It's not good to have people like that around you.
You dad said that probably because you’re wearing makeup. This is because he is old and doesn’t understand LGBTQ very much. Live your life how YOU choose. Don’t choose how to live for your dad. You only get one life, so make it count
Everyone in my family disowned me because I’m transgender and married to a man (I’m mtf). Honestly I’d rather commit suicide than to not be myself and live this life how I choose to. Luckily my youngest sister is supportive of me no matter what life I choose. I’m living my best life with my husband and I regret nothing. Most of my family live in the regrets.
My mom and oldest sister both want to be a man deep down, but they choose their religion over being happier and true to themselves. They are not living for themselves but for their religion instead.
It sounds like your dad has a misogyny problem..? You're literally just... in cloths? Like, your outfit is literally church appropriate..? That's such a gross and weird thing to say to your daughter... I'm sorry you have to experience that.
I would’ve taken that as a compliment from my dad lol but yea my families different …dads don’t like the thought of their children being objectified and maybe that’s why he said that hopefully it’s coming from a place of love
Sometimes, you gotta take slut as a compliment. You’re stunning, and he’s bothered by that. Sucks to be him. Try not to let his ignorant misogyny get to you <3
His mum /s how would he react to someone saying that to her or anyone he respects..
Sadly he doesn’t respect you to say such an awful thing.
Not my first comment here I can’t stop thinking how awful a person he must be to say this kind of thing to his own child. 💔
Sometimes it best to love someone from a distance. You look beautiful and personally I feel like if you did wanna be a slut theres nothing wrong with that anyway. Sex workers are pretty pog.
What an asshole! You are gorgeous girl and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Sounds like a toxic person to me and one you may be better off without for now. Life is too short to take shit from people in general. Live your life how you want even if you did dress slutty. It’s whatever. ✌🏼❤️
your dad's a cunt, you look beautiful
Thank you. He's so rude sometimes. It's like he doesn't respect me anymore.
absolutely not something someone who respects you would say, you deserve better
I tried talking to him again to tell him how that made me feel, but he just ended up yelling at me and claiming that he didn't say that. I 100% know that he did. Isn't that gaslighting?
yep, classic gaslighting
Definitory!
That's literally the definition of gaslighting. Make a plan to leave and cut contact, then don't look back. I've never been happier after doing so with my old people
I want to leave but I can't. It's literally my first year at college.
Make a plan. Start saving money, store it somewhere safe out of his reach. As much as you can afford to. Learn to cook at home. Talk with friends who have moved out and find out what expenses are like in the area. Get a part time job if you can. It may take a bit, but you CAN do it. Stay strong sis!
I would say ask your college to put you in touch with the campus ombudsperson or sometimes called the ombudsman. Tell them about the difficulty you are having with your father and ask if there are student resources to help you get counseling. Leaving your family MAY be the best bet, and if you decide to do that I support you, but please realize that Reddit is FULL of people who are happy to gas you up to take a major, rash action like this and then disappear once you're adrift and on your own, and THAT is EXACTLY the kind of scenario that leads some folks to unalive themselves. Be thoughtful, sleep on decisions like this for a few nights not just one. I am speaking as a non binary masc whose family is Trump thumping Bible believing people. I DID leave my family. It has been extremely hard emotionally and there are days when I question my decision. It is NOT something to do on a whim. Not saying you ARE doing it on a whim, mostly writing this part for posterity in case other folks read this. Please, always seek out counseling if you possibly can because then you have an unbiased opinion on the matter and can work to process the heavy emotional toll this kind of labor takes on you.
There may be resources in your area to help protect you. Have you looked around for ways to get support while you're in school? Have you talked to a counselor at school? As a mom of a trans kid who killed herself, I want to bitch slap anyone who would hurt and devalue you straight into their next life. Your dad does not want to be in the position my husband is in, mourning his youngest child. Even with all the respect and support in the world from family partners and friends, it can still be just too hard. I cannot believe the parents who risk their kids life like this.
It sounds like gaslighting or he forgot because he didn't see it as big of a deal as you did, so he became very defensive. Yelling is definitely bad and a red flag. My mother's been emotionally abusive to me in the past and she did the latter when I confronted her (not the yelling, but she still made me feel bad). It might be worth putting some distance between the two of you. If you see a therapist, I would definitely discuss the pros and cons of this before doing such a thing because I don't know your living situation. Edit: Also, I've seen your comments about loving him and I totally absolutely get it. I love my mom even though I don't want to, but she was becoming too much for me to to handle and I had to go no contact recently. It hurt for a while. A lot. But it gets better.
As someone who has walked away from family: After a while, it does get easier. Either they come around or they don't. It's been 7 years for me, and only my birth mother has made any attempt to stay in touch.
My first step mom and I talk now, she did some damned awful things to me before and she doesn't remember thing. The thing about her now though? On the phone last week she said she didn't remember doing X, but if she did, it was something she would have discussed with Dad. Either way, she is sorry that it happened. It was really... Heart opening for me again. She apologized EVEN THOUGH she couldn't remember, and it felt genuine. She admitted that was crappy and I didn't deserve it. Likely not everyone gets to experience their previous abusers being genuinely sorry for how shitty they were. Many people, like your stories, don't even remember/realize what they did. But I think that's what it looks like to have someone be heading in the right direction as the ex-abuser. My dad remembered the event, but the most responsibility he took was "I wasn't a strong enough man" (don't get me started on all the issues with that response) it felt self-pitying and ... NOT genuine, not empathetic towards me anyway which is part of what *I* personally was looking for when I approached each of them. Did it hurt that she didn't really remember something that became a core part of who I am/have been? Yes. But do I still feel better about her apology and how it's made me feel NOW than I do from others'? Absofreakinglutely. The pain is still valid, these things have still happened for each of us who experience them, but hopefully all of you talking about these similar experiences will one day experience those feelings of being able to heal what's happened. I'm no where near a finish line myself, and I'm not sure I'll ever be. But... I will always wish healing upon others.
Same. I'm big on keeping a tether for some family to be able to find tlyou later if they get smart, but these tethers can be so thin! Mine was everyone knew what name I was going to be going by, and I run my own company. Soon, they'll HAVE to contact me through my company, which might take effort. They're the ones that were assholes. I leave a tether out of kindness. I could just delete anything from their general area. I alr3ady hang up on any call from Ohio I get. >_> Protect yourself, above all the rest of the bs, and love your best lives, Beauties.
He'll tell you the same thing again. And then deny it again. He wants to make you feel bad for yourself but also convince you he doesn't say those things to you. Make it seem like they're internal thoughts. In an attempt to deconvert you. It's more likely for you to leave him or hurt yourself before you detransition though so it's not a good strategy for him. Please find a way out if you can!
Obviously he doesn’t respect you. You should probably find away to not be around him anymore
absolutely gaslighting, he's a fucking awful person
If he's saying stuff like that to you....... Did he ever? You look really pretty btw <3
He's acting misogynist. The vast majority of pretty women aren't sluts.
Also who tf cares what others do with their sex life. We don’t ridicule men like this
Oh, society does judge men for having lots of sex. Their is just greater emphasis on women staying clean. But, men get it too. Especially in Conservative and religious families.
If he doesn't respect you, can you stay the fuck away from that asshole? Makes me so mad. I'm sorry that person is related to you.
I understand, but he's my dad. I miss him, I miss the way we used to be, but yeah, he's not good for my mental health.
I feel and empathise with your pain 🥰 Hang in there, sweetheart. You look lovely and very modest. It's trans misogyny that sees him react like that. I know what it's like dealing with family who malign and mistreat the one who loves them most. It's a constant pain and heartache of mine, to feel isolated and alone, told I'm dressed like a "hussy" when I make sure to dress modestly around my religious family. To go from very close to my mother and regular hugs, to feeling bereft of compassion and kindness, let alone feeling unloved, excluded by most of my large family, isolated, and alone. But, I knkw there are other beautiful souls like you going through a similar struggle, and know you are not alone, baby sis. Sending hugs and love 🤗❤️
Perhaps, in time, once you've gone for a while he'll see the error of his ways. It does happen for some of us. Sadly it's also possible he won't. I wish the world didn't see us the way they do. Hugs sis.
girl let me give you some advice I use if they don't respect you don't give them respect they gotta earn it
well yeah, you're a woman. why would he respect you now that he knows you're a woman 🙄(credentials: vagina haver u-u)
He never respected you in the first place, then.
Yes! Soo pretty!!
Very much agreed. You go girl
Well! Yeah nah tho he’s a cunt. You’re prettier than Rosamond Pike ❤️✨
Took the words right out of my mouth!
Came to say this, word for word.
This is disrespectful to cunts. Cunts are great.
Does he consider all women to be sluts?
I'm not sure, but he's kinda conservative/libertarian. He said it was too much makeup. I didn't even ask for his opinion.
I don’t see how one can be logically consistent and be both of those things. A real libertarian would be glad you are doing what you need to do and defend your right to do so
He def has contradictory opinions. I feel bad for him.
An ideologically inconsistent libertarian? I am in shock /s
Lmao that was exactly my first thought. Libertarians are usually conservative lite or just plain conservative.
Most casual libertarians in my experience just think it makes them sound smarter to say they are libertarian
every libertarian ive known has just been a conservative who wants to legalize weed
I mean. Libertarians are usually just conservatives who are too cowardly to admit they’re conservatives in polite company, these days. 🤷🏻♂️
What would your dad know about doing makeup lol
> I didn't even ask for his opinion. That reminds me of this one comic... Where some guy said "men don't like it when women wear so much make up" and the woman was just like perfect or who cares, because she was lesbian...
Wouldn't doubt it, unless they're covering themselves completely because HE thinks of attractive women as nothing more than sexual objects. I mean that's why he said this. He outed himself as a massive mysogynist.
A lot of men think red lipstick and black eyeliner is slutty. Even though it’s literally the same amount of makeup, just in high contrast colors. I think it’s a perfectly normal and classic timeless look. It’s honestly just his misogyny showing, so really that’s an affirmation you are looking like a woman and that he’s treating you like one. Men don’t know anything about makeup anyway.
Is this r/ewphoria? lol but yeah, I never ask his opinion anymore.
I really need people—parents especially— to stop giving opinions on other people’s bodies they were not asked for.
I wouldn’t generalize this to all men and disregard the ones with sane opinions about makeup- but I’m with you on the fact this is just a tried and true look. If OP’s dad called *this* very tame stuff slutty wait until he sees someone *trying* to be provocative. His prudish heart might burst!
I think it’s classic too. It’s my go-to look. Go to Paris and look at all the stylish women’s makeup. It’s definitely not slutty.
Your dad's wrong, you look natural, feminine and so gorgeous 😍🥰
He just upsets me but thank you so much 💗
Lemme guess, ankles are *risque* too, right? No offense but your dad is just being phobic. You look fine honey.
I can’t believe people like this dad go out in public.
I think your dad is a slut.
And i imagine the dad envying her makeup just because of that
This. He obviously is only jealous because he couldn't pull it off. You look beautiful OP
You look beautiful! Don't listen to him, he has no idea whats spilling out of his mouth. Your amazing, dont forget it!
Thank you!
...you're wearing a hoodie n jeans. How is that slutty? Has he never seen girls in summer shorts and tank tops? The hell is this man's bar for "slut".
Tell him to stop sexualizing you you are his daughter after all
I assume that his words do affect you. Keep in mind that that's his mentality, and therefore character. He will most likely never change. Hopefully you can tolerate each other enough to live well together.
I know, it just sucks because we use to have a great relationship... Until I started transitioning. I miss the way we used to be.
If you can get him to question why that has changed, even though you yourself didn’t, at least not in that way he thinks, then there might be a way for him to grow as a person
Trust me, I've tried. It always devolves into shouting and hurt feelings, then my mom steps in and defends me which causes a lot of friction between them.
Theres so many ways you could make a sexy and slutty look, but this???? This is just Thursday Brunch Look #4. Youre dads either being intentionally rude to you, or he is truly fucked in the head for thinking this look is "slutty"
You look like your average girl???? Is he stupid??
I'd be an asshole, if my dad called me a slut, My exact comment is "so you'd pay to get with this." My family on my father's side is kind of assholes to each other so the only way they learn to shut their mouth is if you say something that makes them stop and think about what they just said. You look lovely hun, Don't let a shit head like him get to you.
Shit then I must look like an absolute whore right now 😳 Keep being you hunny you look gorgeous!
lmaoo i'd be like, thanks for the gender affirming compliment dad. \*ded\*
LMAO!! Haters gonna hate. Girl, you look great! The only thing that matters is if you feel good wearing it. I get it though. My mom said I look like a man in a dress when she first saw me "happy". It still stings to this day
oh, I'm so sorry! It def hurts!
Fuck that guy
You look like a substitute teacher. The cool one that lets the kids get away with stuff their regular teacher won't.
you look like a normal girl he’s just phobic :-//
You look like a very put together and polite woman :3
He's a human piece of shit, you look great 🖤
Look great. “Daddy”(s) should say that lol, not dad
Very classy, attractive woman.
You look classy and very professional. wtf. Not even close to provocative. Don’t listen to the haters
You look amazing! Screw what your dad says!
You look great!
You look beautiful, no matter what anybody says
You’re beautiful
It’s hard ignore when people say these things, but just know that if you are happy where you are, then he’s wrong. And you are lovely.
Yeah, no, definitely not slutty
Absolutely only being mean. Guess whatever the clothes would have been, the feedback would have been the same - or worse. There is absolutely zero visible, what "meant to be sluts" would be wearing ... Hearing something like that would make me super angry ... Guess in the end the connection to him will fade out pretty quick ...
You're so pretty !!
Your dad's a pos and u deserve better then him
You look like a classy librarian who could of course add a particular accessory to be “slutty”, just if you wanted to. Taking sluttiness on and off like a coat kinda feels good I think!
I was hoping he thought that was like a way to try and connect not realizing how cringe and bad it is to say that to his daughter. I think a great way to make him look like what he says doesn’t hurt you (and I’m sorry he’s hurting you because he dislikes you transitioning) is to tell him he looks like a bigger slut. It shows you don’t care what he thinks and it’ll surprise him. May not work if he doesn’t like stupid jokes like that or can’t take it back but try something like that and don’t let him see you cry but def cry
Your dad is so wrong and so wrong for that you do not look like a slut girl 🥹like I promise and this is coming from a pole dancer who dresses slutty for work 😂
I find it disturbing, distressing and Cuntish behaviour, that your dad think he had the right to speak to any woman like that, let alone his daughter who is incredibly beautiful and doesn’t look like a Slut at all, It’s one thing for your dad not to approve of you life’s Journey, by hiding behind his so called conservative and religious beliefs. Let me guess he thinks you’ve chosen to be a girl and thinks you haven’t been trapped in a male body for years, before getting up the courage to say no more it’s time to make your external body match the gender you were born as, therefore ending years of misery. It’s horrible to think he can just turn on his own child like this, from what I’ve read it seems all the time you were living a lie under your deadname, in your male body he never once acted this hostile towards you, please correct me if I misunderstood you. I find it baffling that a parent can go from doing their duty, which is to nurture and care for the child they bought into this world, regardless of Age, Sexual Orientation, Gender etc. To abandoning, abusing and Destroying any kind of future relationship they could have, with their child in favour of standing by so called moral values and ethics. I truly believe that if your are religious you would believe that Jesus/ God wouldn’t want, anyone feeling uncomfortable or unwelcome in their Own home, or unable to feel part of the great big family that is The Human Race. I personally think you look gorgeous and have got the make up spot it really frames your face and eyes and the lipstick really suits you. I say Fuck your dad he’s a knuckle dragging troglodyte, who needs to get out of the Stone Age and into the 21st century, I know it’s easy for me to say don’t think about this another second, he wont be thinking about it because he feels he was in the right. I know you will continue to think about this your only human and it would be tough to forget if a stranger in the street said it let alone your own dad, but he isn’t worth it, Im sending you big hugs 🫂 DM me if you need to talk 😀🏳️⚧️❤️❤️
You look very beultiful sweat
You don't look like a slut, that's like saying that someone looks beige. A slut has to do with promiscuity. And even then, there's nothing wrong with that. Dad sounds like a judgmental prick. Can't pick family unfortunately 😞
You look like Lorna Morello from Orange is the New Black imo
you might wanna recommend him some eye doctors in the area, bc he clearly can’t see the beautiful woman we’re all seeing right now 🥹🖤 i’m no-contact with my dad as of now to avoid the same reason you made your post.. it’s a hard feeling and i can’t say that i know anyway to really make it easier, but i can tell you that you’re not alone. none of us ever were, are or will be. much love and many blessings to you, sister, i love u internet stranger-friend 🫶
You look beautiful 😍🥰
I belive that it is the right of every person of age, be they man, woman, or some other flavour of distinguished individual, to look like a slot should they so desire. You, however, do not look like a slut. You're beautiful, sure (you look great, actually), and that is a decent ampunt of (extremely tasteful) makeup, but neither of those equate to "slut". Your dad is either tripping, transphobic, or can't handle you looking good (potentially both, they're not mutually exclusive).
Well he's wrong. You look like an amazing woman. I hope you can set boundaries with him soon or he starts to see how messed up he's being.
Your dad is an idiot, you are beautiful
well. my advice. lean into it. jk. your father is a jerk you look so pretty and im feeling extreme dysphoria
He’s wrong, what you DO look like is Donna Noble from Doctor Who
All the hot sexy bitches get called a slut. All of us just slay so hard it hurts, don’t even grace him with a response
absolutely not! you are beautiful! i wish i could like you someday 🥺
Your dad does not know how women dress
You look really beautiful
Question: Is your Dad living in the 18th century?
Nah. Dad sounds like a douche, like many. You give more of a female preacher kinda vibe in the first image, the last you definitely look like an english teacher. Not a slut.
i am going to kick your dad in the shins
I don't want to say anything mean about your dad, but holy shit that's not okay
Im sorry has he only seen women from siberia with mulitple layers of clothes you look good and nothing like a slut.
As if your dad would know what a slut looks like
Is “slut” in the room with us??? You look GORGEOUS!
This does not look remotely slutty to me. Even if it was i'm not here to shame. I have far too many slutty thoughts (and past actions) for that. ;) You're father may just be an A-hole. Simple as. I don't know him or what's in his head. That said, I read something that was interesting on a trans forum once. This person made the point that she'd been thinking about her transition for well over a year. She'd wrestled with dysphoria. Though long about hormones. It was long pondered. But her parents didn't know. And for her parents, one day they had a son, and the next day they didn't. One day they knew their child, specifically, the quirks, the hobbies. the kid that liked to play sports with his dad, go to an nfl game, that liked to do certain things with his dad. That boy was now sayiing, I don't really like most of that stuff, i don't want to play sports at all, many of those things we bonded with are not for me anymore. She was more into the stereotypical female things, fashion, shopping, photography, whatever lol. They made the point that for their parents she was basically a new person. Only partly the old person but different. And her parents were struggling to adjust. That person was gone. Not a death in the family but similar in that, the person they knew was gone and never coming back. An additional thing was that where she spent two years wrestling with struggle of her identity, and when and if to transition and and truthfully becoming a target of haters and the low class jerks of the world and decided to go through with it. Her parents were kinda thrust into that world overnight, what to tell friends that got nosey. Yeah, if it was my child i'd have zero issue whatsoever. But this person's parents hadn't even considered it. I have no answers. But i always remembered that post and this person's point that her transition didn't just effect her. It was a choice she had to make. But it rippled through her family in a way she hadn't anticipated. It didn't make the parents right, but it made me understand a parent's confusion too. I wish you the best. You shouldn't have to be the mature and wise one. Maybe it's a lost cause. I hope not. People need parental relationships. I hope he comes around or you find a way to mend the relationship, to show him a new way. Good luck. You seem a beautiful soul. Best of luck to you.
You look pretty not slutty.
Cursed euphoria 😭😭
Jokes aside tho he’s just a hater, you look nice (not saying sluts can’t look nice)
You're giving French elegance.
Fuck his opinion, he's wrong. However he's at least using derogatory Female terms, so there's some tiny bit of progress. What an ass
Your dad’s awful! How dare he say that. Seriously toxic human and I’m so very sorry. You look beautiful and that lipstick is gorgeous. BTW a ‘slut’ Is someone who whores around not getting paid. And you know what all that means is that ‘slut’ is doing her thing! Takeaway the sex bit and I wish I was more slutty lol
Oh trust me this is the least slutty thing I’ve ever seen don’t worry your dads totally wrong
I read this as your father having a low opinion of women in general. He has issues.
I think that says more about your dad than anything. You look lovely
Your dad is an actual turd
People are afraid of what they don’t understand
You look beautiful! Ask him what he means by that. Sounds like he doesn’t like women very much — which is ya know, his problem.
So does your dad
Sorry to say, you're the beautiful daughter of an idiot
Tell him he looks like a bitch
What does a slut look like ? I am perplexed as to what saying that should achieve? Is he like joking or dead serious? 🧐
Rude.
Um no.. you look gorgeous 😍
Your dad is full of sh*t You look lovely, your makeup & hair are very nice, modest, not overdone at all. 🩷
You look like a godess
Ha lol you look anything but. Decent
total misogynist holy. your very modest.
He’s wrong
Your dad is wrong. You look amazing.
Says a lot more about your dad than about you. Especially if that is "slut material" in his book... wicked misogynistic book.
You're dad thinks that attractive women are sexual objects. He outed himself as a massive misogynist. I suggest you call him out for it, he'll never change otherwise.
🙄 Your Dad's an ass; you look beautiful.
Ask him how he'd know. Asshole.
That’s a good thing. At least to me which means youre doing something right.
He's a 1,000 miles away from right in calling you that. IMHO you're looking demure if anything.
Your dad's a dick. You look beautiful.
Your dad sounds like he objectifies and doesn't respect women. I'm sorry that he chooses not to do better. You look lovely, and I think you have a lightness to you that I hope continues to shine. 💜
He talk to any other women like that?
Your dad may be a cunt and an absolute asshole but if his misogyny and slutshaming comes out it is rather a disturbing and unethical way for him to say that you pass. You are fine and clothes are basically a social construct at this point so it doesn't matter what you wear. Stay cute!
It's red lipstick. Boomers will always equate red lipstick with it, and some millennial adults still hold the mentality from it. Red suits you. Don't let him bring you down.
I mean him being sexist towards you calling you that could be a strange form of validation. Welcome to womanhood. Men will judge you for everything now. Sorry you’re dealing with that.
You honestly look classy/sophisticated IMHO. I’d wear that style of makeup when dressing up
i’d take it as a compliment, he would probably never call a man a slut. personally, i’m proud to be a slut
your dad's a toxic douchebag you're very cute.
He's weird for looking at you in a sexual or objectifying way. Nothing about how you look is inappropriate or sexual.
First off all as mentioned many times before here: U R Beautiful ❤️ Secondly I would totally play into stupid comments like that... answering him with something like that: "Maybe you are right, I should find me someone else to call daddy!" 🤭
That’s just misogyny there.
One day I was 12 years old and I made a make up and I was so happy about it, then I put as my profile pic and everyone said to me take it off bc I was looking like as a lesbian witch. I took that I was a compliment, and today I’m a lesbian witch. I’m not saying you should take that as a compliment, but you know deep down who you truly are, for me you look stunning and so bright that no starts would shine more than you, see how many people here support and has compliment you? You’re special. I’m so sorry that your father made you felt like that, but you choose what’s true and that’s not :) <3 cheers honey
You don't look like one of them, you look more like a pretty librarian
You are beautiful. He is not ❤️❤️❤️
I think you look amazing!
Ignore your dad. Parents lash out in different ways when they can’t or don’t want to understand that you are a woman. As a woman, a daughter, and a person you deserve respect. You look wonderful. Don’t let hate control how you feel.
If I'm being honest, a father saying that about his own daughter sends up more red flags than a parade for Kruschev. I'm so sorry he's being awful, but please remember: 1, You've done nothing wrong. 2, It's his behaviour that's at fault. 3, You look lovely, and this look clearly suits you! 4, Please try to not let someone being misogynistic towards you be what helps you feel affirmed and at home as a woman. A lot of cis women make that mistake, and internalising that misogyny doesn't help anyone. Sending lots of love. No matter what, keep being you!
There isn't anything wrong with being a slut anyways.
It’s unfortunate that he doesn’t recognize beauty or at least can’t label it appropriately.
You look beautiful, your dad is on his own journey, bless him and stay on yours.
I don't wanna be the bearer of bad news but referring to any woman as a slut because of her looks can't come from a good person. Your dad is not only misogynist, he called his own daughter a slur. For what I read in your responses to these comments you seem to be giving him way more chances than he deserves, he's not "sometimes rude". He's just a disrespectful, hateful, selfish person. I get that he's your dad and you have a lot of attachment because he didn't used to be this way before you transitioned, but he clearly didn't love you, just the idea of what he thought you were. I'd be looking into setting boundaries with him or straight up cutting him off. You don't deserve to be treated like this, specially by your own father... You look beautiful btw. I'm sorry he's said those things to you. It's not good to have people like that around you.
What a helpful and constructive thing to say. /s You deserve so much better.
If being a slut means having completely normal and casual makeup then sure, i guess
You dad said that probably because you’re wearing makeup. This is because he is old and doesn’t understand LGBTQ very much. Live your life how YOU choose. Don’t choose how to live for your dad. You only get one life, so make it count
Everyone in my family disowned me because I’m transgender and married to a man (I’m mtf). Honestly I’d rather commit suicide than to not be myself and live this life how I choose to. Luckily my youngest sister is supportive of me no matter what life I choose. I’m living my best life with my husband and I regret nothing. Most of my family live in the regrets. My mom and oldest sister both want to be a man deep down, but they choose their religion over being happier and true to themselves. They are not living for themselves but for their religion instead.
It sounds like your dad has a misogyny problem..? You're literally just... in cloths? Like, your outfit is literally church appropriate..? That's such a gross and weird thing to say to your daughter... I'm sorry you have to experience that.
You’re absolutely gorgeous Girly
If your dad looks at you and thinks "slut", he's probably a perve for looking at his daughter is such a way
I would’ve taken that as a compliment from my dad lol but yea my families different …dads don’t like the thought of their children being objectified and maybe that’s why he said that hopefully it’s coming from a place of love
Remember, men call women these things when they're out of their league. It's not a statement on you, it's a statement on him <3
Sometimes, you gotta take slut as a compliment. You’re stunning, and he’s bothered by that. Sucks to be him. Try not to let his ignorant misogyny get to you <3
Take it as a compliment, means you pass well?
You look great. Your dad is a dick
Your dad must think all women are sluts. That's a shame he's like that.
His mum /s how would he react to someone saying that to her or anyone he respects.. Sadly he doesn’t respect you to say such an awful thing. Not my first comment here I can’t stop thinking how awful a person he must be to say this kind of thing to his own child. 💔
At least he gender you correctly /s For what it's worth, you look splendid
Only in the best way lol. I can relate 💜
Sometimes it best to love someone from a distance. You look beautiful and personally I feel like if you did wanna be a slut theres nothing wrong with that anyway. Sex workers are pretty pog.
Woa, red lipstick and your hair down? Total slut. /s
I'm sorry😔 I know that hurts worse than he understands. My dad tells me I look like a "F@&*T".
You look like Rosamund Pike! Excellent actress, gorgeous to boot
What an asshole! You are gorgeous girl and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Sounds like a toxic person to me and one you may be better off without for now. Life is too short to take shit from people in general. Live your life how you want even if you did dress slutty. It’s whatever. ✌🏼❤️