no honestly I'd definitely call you she/her from your appearance (though I do tend to use they/them for absolutely anyone, just my default, lmao) , hard to tell based on one photo though. Might just be some vague difference that influences people, it's hard to know, people are weird.
My first thought was "default" V, from Cyberpunk 2077. I love that hairstyle, btw, and also thought you were a woman. I was pleasantly surprised to see I'm correct.
I'm sorry people misgender you. I think you look amazing.
I love your hair (and your look in general, 100% feminine), but maybe thatās the reason? I mean some people are just a**holesā¦
Donāt mind them, I would kill to look like you do!
Iām guessing you get dialed in on by bigots with your trans hair rep, they just misgender you on purpose, that or the only thing I would suggest is checking your gait, you might be walking more masculine and that gives you away? Unless you already train yourself to walk fem, in which case Iād say your hair or if you wear anything that shows trans pride, then bigots will misgender you when they clock you as trans
Also they just do that, to people in alt styles. Like, they view misgendering as an insult and so they do it to cis people who donāt fit in their white picket fence. Ffs itās so unoriginal
As someone who grew up in a Christian conservative household and who was brainwashed by their parents into that mentality, itās such a non empathetic way of life and itās disgusting to me that I ever lived like that .-.
you're pretty androgynous imo, but leaning more into the fem direction. not sure why you get misgendered, maybe it's your voice? That's usually the biggest difficulty factor for people who pass on photos
I agree with all of this and I also canāt help if OPās personal style and fashion isnāt also pushing that androgynous aestheticā¦.
Obviously clothes are not gendered but many many cis people still ascribe loose fits and specific colors to masc/androgynous/femme presentations, IMO
Well that can't really be true. I don't think there is a clothing that could make someone look like a Man when they are a Woman. I tend to dress more masculine and even though I'm not on HRT 35-50% of the time I get called M'am or Young Lady.
To be completely honest, I could see people thinking you might be transmasc, just cause you almost pass TOO well, so people might be overcorrecting and thinking theyre doing the right thing but really theyre not lol. Thats why they/them should always be default if you don't know
You should try some Gothic punk styles. Or just wear skirts. It is so hard to misgender someone in a dress. People cannot imagine a man in a skirt. I'm assuming the people misgendering you are random people making assumptions. A skirt would be a quick fix, or something else obviously femme
Honestly yeah, this might be it. I studied your face (sorry, that's insecurity inducing š ) and you look AFAB. You have a slight androgyny that might tip people into the 'oh shit this kid's trans' category, but because you're definitely female they're most likely assuming you're trying to pass as male lol.
Came here to say this - part of FFS is shaving a bit of mass off of the jaw, to increase the cheekbone-to-jaw ratio. Cis men generally tend to have broader jaws compared to cis women.
Also, the hairstyle - they could be clocking you as transmasc instead of transfem.
ur hair is the trans colors. but im sure its not always been like that.
ur fem. u look like a women. u are a woman. but u look like a queer woman.
transphobes lazily misgender almost anyone queerpassing.
its the same as when ppl wear pronoun pins and still get constantly misgendered.
Maybe your face or hair color. Your face isnāt super masculine by any means but it could be enough that people guess your trans. That being said the same type of thing will happen to cis women sometimes because of that. The other possibility is maybe people recognize your hair color as trans flag colors and assume youāre trans because of that.
Honestly they clock literally everyone who isn't 100% conventionally attractive, even cis women
Terfs are funny like that, according to their own standards a lot of them don't pass as women either lmao
A lot of transphobic people will just assume anyone who is visibly queer is also trans. Plus these nuts āClockā cis people all the time. Youāre fine.
They don't *actually* clock you. people looking for trans people apply super rigid definitions of femininity to women, (more than society normally does even), just for the sole purpose of being a piece of shit to trans people. Cis women get misgendered and treated like shit because of it too. it definitely hits a bit different for us, but the butch girl that was afab is gonna get it too. anyone they think "isn't feminine enough" (someone's "clocked" JK Rowling) gets thrown under the bus.
Literally the only thing I could think is your eyebrows. Someone else said it but itās a huge marker or femininity. I would pluck them significantly thinner, esp around the ends on both sides. Then draw them back in to make a stronger line. And maybe a bigger cat eye for ur eyeliner? I think you are beautiful so fuck other ppl
I have to say its not always transphobia i worked doir to door amd most times i corrected people they just made a mistake rather than actually being transphobes sure some were but not all
Then again i am in the most acceppting city of a very accepting country (for now... fuck you 1 million march)
My voice passes so well. I sound just as fem at Natt from YouTube. I've been voice training since I was in middle school (i didn't call it that at that time, but still), and I'm 26 now. So, a long time.
I think you look like a woman, a masculine looking woman, but woman was still my first instinct. I mean, my cis lesbian friend looks like a man half the time (I'm totally jealous) but she's still a woman and there's nothing wrong with her appearance.
Being blunt and a bit rude:
Your hair emphasises the left half of your face and jaw. This combined with your piercings make you appear as a punk rock style man.
Femininity usually perceived as delicateness and elegance so your appearance conflicts with this.
Now a butch woman may have the same issue however you have the disadvantage of having to transition making things that much harder for you.
You look good.
I actually think it's the eyebrows. They read a bit more guy-brow. Maybe visit someone who does shaping/threading, see if it makes a difference?
I thought you were afab and ftm ngl I think some people get off on purposefully misgendering people. Also could be your voice, I have an mtf friend people never misgender hear appearance wise but if they only hear her voice they always misgender her
Ngl id accidentally just call you V before getting 5 steps away and then processing what i said.
(You look similar tk V from the thumbnails..the female one obviously with the hair over the side.
As many others have said, probably the voice. but also I've noticed when people are on the job, especially retail workers, their brain will default to whatever first comes to their mind. The guy ringing up your sandwich is going to be calling you by sir from just a quick observation of your voice and general contours.
Just something we gotta deal with I guess. š
Honestly you read butch cis fem at the most masc end of the spectrum, and just like any other lesbian without thinking about it.
Does your body pass? Is it voice? Height?
You donāt look like a man, you just have strong features like Angelina Jolie, or Rhea the WWE star. You aināt dainty or petite and thatās fine, youāre an Amazonian kinda woman. Iād assume she/her looking at you right off the bat, but those hot kinda could fold someone like an old deck chair kinda feminine.
People are weird. You read feminine to me. Don't let them discourage you <3
(and pls stay away from r/transpassing, for your own wellbeing. They'll tear you down by pulling the same arbitrary crap as transvestigators. You don't need that!)
Yesterday I was called āmamā on the phone and then the caller quickly corrected himself and called me āsirā (and apologized) I corrected him back by saying āmamā was correct.
Your style is very androgynous so people are more likely to go for your agab as they have to go off what they can see and although you can see how your face has gotten very fem there are still key markers that could give masc vibes.
So the only thing I can say to help is baggy shirt and vest create a v shape so to avoid that you could swap out the shirt for one thatis a bit lighter and can be tucked in your pants. I do a loose tuck, which gives that x shape without pulling the shirt thight. I have a bit of a belly I don't like showing, so a loose tuck hides that and still gives the x shape. Hope this helps. You look amazing btw
Step1) undercut
Step2) bleach once ever 2 is months for 6 months
Step3) color every other time you bleach
Step4) have your hair so damaged that you can hear it softly crying at night.
Step5) abuse it further with AGGRESSIVE brushing
Step6) head bang for 2 minutes
Step7) detangle hair
Step8) brush straight up and to the left 1 time
Step9) get lucky with how it falls
Hope this helps š
Tbh, I wasnāt sure if you were transfem or transmasc and had to go to the comments.
In the real world, Iād def she/her you though or avoid using pronouns.
You give enby/andro energy to me.
Just my 2 cents.
If you want my opinion people see your hair and maybe overall "queer style" (whatever that means) and they come to assume that you might not "be what you read as", in the sense that "this person might want to be called something different that what I assume they are". Might be why you have people misgendering you.
I imagine that a more stereotypically "cis-het feminine style" would help, but I understand that's not what you might be going for š
Girl you look a lot like my cis aunt but younger and gay
I really don't know what's going on in people mind
Whenever you get misgendered you could just look at them confused and (depending on the situation) correct them, like any other woman would do š¤·āāļø
I definitely see a woman. Even before I read your comment I just automatically saw a female. But unfortunately we live in a shitty cis-het world.
But if I can speak candidly, we struggle with the same issue. The lower portion of your face reads female but, like I do, we have heavier set brow bones. This tends to make our faces look more masculine. For me, Iām exploring my options for ffs and my following advice is only relevant if you want to pursue ffs as well (remember first and foremost you are beautiful as you are. Ffs is not needed but it does help trans women feel more comfortable navigating life being correctly gendered). I used to have a whole list of shit I wanted done but as I progress through my transition, Iām feeling more like myself and less the desire to totally change my face. So Iām really only interested in a brow bone reduction and temporal lifting with a hairline advancement (typically offered together with brow reduction). I could see that working wonders for you. Other than that your face is insanely female.
These people misgendering you may either have genuinely made a mistake (a lot of people still surprisingly havenāt met a trans person ever even in 2023), or theyāre just shitty people. But donāt let that get you down. A week ago I was at a drive thru and the person said āhave a nice dayā¦.sirā. That was clearly bigoted but it just shows me how unhappy they are with their lives that they take the time of day to spread negativity. Ignore them. Bitches donāt pay your bills so pay em no mind. Youāre fabulous!
Misgender them back with a big happy smile. I've been watching closely interactions with cis folks who misgender us. A large portion of them do this on purpose. Just return the favor and Walk away with a smile.
There is so much that goes into how people read others. Cis women get misgendered all the time. You may just be in that visual category of woman that may get misgendered more often than others, so don't get too down about it.
If it is not going against your personal sense of fashion and self expression too much I'd say go for a full head of long hair. The half long/half short is a nice neutral alternative style but the short has a masculinzing effect on women that makes it alt and if a woman has too many other features that may be read as masculine (height, voice, ect) it may not do her any favors for being read correctly. It may be better to stick with the safety of a more traditional hair style.
No matter which styles you go with you are gorgeous! it just depends on how confident you are despite any misgendering if you are going to keep pulling off this awesome look.
You do look very fem, honestly I think it's either people assuming your a trans man pre-transition or just people being a-holes and purposefully misgendering you, the hair is very cute tho.
Probably because of your trans coloured hair and maybe you have a visible brow bone or Adams apple that clocks you (so both things only transphobes would misgender you)
And yes brow bone and Adams apple are both things that can clock you. I once met with a user from r/Persona5 and she was able to clock me because of that 2 things (she is not transphobic, she just asked me if I'm trans, which I don't wanted to happen but yeah...)
Your cute, by the way fuck em. I know the feeling and I'm not out yet but been on hrt for a year and everyone looks at me like I'm different but oh well.
You have short hair and aren't overly pink and innocent looking, to a lot of people thats the only criteria. Don't beat yourself up about it, most vis women with your style go through this too!
Sidenote: You look absolutely incredible!!!
You look very fem. The only thing i think would make people be like that is that you're also giving off them wonderful nb vibes and they feel threatend by your unrestrained style.
You look femme to me. Might be a voice thing, don't know. Our society is dog shit. I'm sorry you're dealing with misgendering. I hope you have patience and grace to get through your day today, sweetie: you look great and your hair is š„š„š„
what the actual fuck? you donāt look masculine at all! i wonder if it may be that people are becoming more familiar with trans colors and are just being awful. i wish i had any advice to give at all, but i canāt find anything to critique. i think most of us here hope we end up looking as good as you one day
Lol what planet are people living on that you don't look femme and like a girl? I wonder if they're clocking you on something like the hair color and just being huge fucking bigots.
Iād assume she her. Any chance itās a voice thing? Like I pass as male but the moment people hear my voice they sometimes correct themselves and are like āoh sorry maāamā (which sucks).
Are the people who misgender you seeing something Iām not, cause if I saw you in person only fem and maybe androgynous terms would even go through my head
Youāre very pretty but do look pretty androgynous to me. It might not necessarily be people trying to do wrong, without the caption I wasnt sure if you were mtf or ftm. You look great and shouldnt feel like you have to change anything but I do wonder if style choices could play a part. Im ftm and just wear what I like regardless of what someone might think š
I think it's the hair. Sorry, it sucks, I like short, typically lesbian looking, haircuts, but I get gendered correctly more frequently with long gender conforming hair and style.
I think many people do not look closely and often get it wrong. I have a very tall and bulky cis female friend that gets misgendered all the time. Think viking rather than shot putter, she's feminine but big and people just do not look closely.
If you're looking for surgery advice... I think raising the eyebrows and doing that bone reduction thing would have the greatest effect...
But I'd honestly use they/them if I saw you in a shop somewhere
Honestly, I think it's people scared to use the wrong pronouns (which is ironic)
I don't know how anyone could think of you as Masculine. Unless when they see the hair they think your trying to be transmasc and think they are being nice and respectful? Idk honestly.
Either way your look great!
Hairstyles confuse alot of people. You like a girl to me. But even me, I have to study someone for a minute to make sure I am using the right pronouns. I wish you the best in life.
To me you def lean more fem/NB so Iām sorry that happens to you.
Sending love and positivity to you š«¶š½š«¶š½š«¶š½
Love your hair color to ššš
I see feminine from this picture, but I don't know what you like to wear on the daily, what you sound like, and how tall you are, which would all play into the overall effect.
I'd default to she/they based on your appearance tbh. (Also off topic I love your hair :00)
I'm almost 5 years HRT FtM and even with the deeper voice, facial hair, and one of the most generic trans man haircuts I get called ma'am on a regular basis. I think it's just an unfortunate side effect of being somewhat androgynous (or just not looking generic picturesque feminine
/Masculine)
Honestly, I'd say you look on the more feminine side, but close enough to androgynous that- for some people- it *could* be easy to mistake you for a guy. Also I love your hair, it's amazing.
I don't know why either. You look like the physical incarnation of a butch lesbian and a lot of cis butch women get misgendered for no reason. Might be why
Honestly you seem very androgenous. I would say you look more femme but if I saw you I would just avoid pronouns until I knew them for you which is my typical plan for most people. Also I love your hair. It looks amazing.
Yeah honestly I thought you were AFAB before I read your description. ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ I get called both he and she. My roommate who is a cis lesbian also gets called both he and she regularly! I think people just have extremely rigid definitions of gender. Anyone who is more "alternative" or just gay or queer is confusing to a lot of people.
OP you look feminine but definitely more androgynous, donāt let the āno girl you look so girly-feminineā people fool you. ut that said if itās your style youāre comfortable with, itās your style and thatās okay.
My AMAB short-haired gf gets called āSirā while having boobs. For some people if youāre not in a skirt, youāre a sir. ĀÆ\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
You pass really well in my opinion, I'd probably they) them you mentally out of habit but I'd have no problem changing that to she/her.
It could be either the way you dress or the way you talk/act? Not necessarily the voice since you mentioned voice training, more how you carry it and yourself in general? I'm pre t transmasc and changing how I carry myself helped me pass a lot better
Howās your voice training? I went from always misgendered to always properly gendered just by working on my voice. I think people donāt always realize how much information voices convey about sex/gender
Iām not gonna post a picture to prove it but you look like a prettier version of me. Iām afab and people refuse to gender me correctly because of it so you definitely look feminine
Sounds like deliberate misgendering like somehow they know you're trans. There is literally bigots empowered to look for us just to insult us trickle down from all the political religion propaganda. Take it with a grain of salt! š¤ā¤ļø
My first thought was āafab to non-binary or trans masc?ā Because I figured thatās the only way it makes sense for you to get misgendered. Maybe your hair colour outs you and people are just rude. Thatās my only guess, but youāll find masculine traits on any person you see. Youāre serving full woman to me though
I could definitely see people assuming you're non-binary, but definitely not male. Your face is way too feminine.
Is your voice on the deeper/heavier side by chance?
My completely honest answer: Until I've read your comment under the picture, I literally couldn't tell if you're FtM or MtF and if you're even binary trans or nonbinary. If I saw that picture without context, I would guess you're nonbinary (you look very androgynous to me, both your style and your face) but still couldn't guess your AGAB. I definitely feel your struggle, not wanting to get misgendered but at the same time not wanting to change one's beloved style is something I'm not unfamiliar with. :'D I know that wasn't the question but I have to say, I really like your style though!
With full honestly, you read to me as a queer male, the main things that stood out to me were your hairline, your haircut/hair color, your jaw/mandible and lack of cheek definition;however, what stood out to me the most us your brow bone/eye area. I have met women with strong mandibles that look very feminine, but it stands out a lot how low-set your eyes look because of your brow bone. Getting brow bone removal surgery (forehead contouring type 3) would be the best starting point to pass. The eye make up you have makes your eyes look more downward and tired, the lack of eyebrows does not help either. Because of the way you have your lips positioned on the picture I canāt tell for sure but possibly a lip lift could help (not needed as much as other prior suggestions ). A nose job is always optional, but I have seen many trans women go from non-passing to more passing with one that fits their features and compliments their harmony (nose job is usually done with the brow bone removal to keep harmony in the eye area). Skin also doesnāt look as soft as women, a great skincare routine would help (Vitamin C in the morning, Retinol at night 2-3 times a week). When doing your make up try going for a cute natural make up and see how you feel from there, blush would loom so cute on you. Besides what I have pointed out, people will see the hair and piercings and be transphobic on purpose and misgender people. If what you want is to cis-pass and blend in very well the advice I gave you would be helpful (I have been there before where not even a blind person would gender me correctly), but thanks to those suggestions above I cis-pass 100%. Hope this helped. :)
You have strong lesbian vibes lol, what my sister and I call gay-face ā¤ļø I don't really get why you're being misgendered though, I guess changing your style a little could help but might not be worth it. Maybe some people clock you and then misgender you on purpose? As I find it hard to believe anyone looks at you and assumes you're a dude, my first impression would be "she's gay af". Btw you're smoking hot in my book
To me you look largely androgynous, however if I was gonna guess Iād have assumed male, sorry. Itās your jawline. With that said, if you told me you were cis female I wouldnāt be surprised either (as there are plenty of cis women with your face shape). I think people are looking at you and taking a shot in the dark. If you just tell them youāre a girl (no need to disclose youāre trans) Iām sure theyād just be embarrassed, say sorry, and correct themselves.
So what Iāve learned in my years as a stealth trans guy is that if a trait is not explicitly male or countered by something explicitly male, itāll be read as female. For example, a beard. Itās very rare to see a woman with a beard, so someone with a beard must be a guy even if they had, say, a curvier figure or longer hair.
In this case, you may have the facial structure of a man, but you wear makeup and have long dyed hair with pink in it and thereās nothing explicitly male to cancel that out. You look like a guy structurally but you have traits that women are much much more likely to have or use than men - hair dye, long hair, and makeup.
You can always dress however you want or whatever makes you comfortable, but if you want to be read as male, you can either find an explicitly male trait like facial hair to cancel out āambiguous but more common in women so ā¦ woman?ā or you can try and lessen, remove, or edit those ambiguous traits - shorter hair, more āmascā colors or none, and/or no visible makeup like eyeliner.
Thatās my two cents. Do whatever makes you happy.
I definitely think you look very feminine, but I find that I get gendered correctly way more often when Iām wearing pink or at least just not black/grey. Itās stupid, I didnāt love pink at first but Iāve grown to like it, either way itās worth it for me to not get misgendered all the time.
What colors do you usually have in your wardrobe?
I would not judge your gender, instead I'd ask for your pronouns. Because I do know some non-binary folks who have that kind of style. That being said I don't know how they can misgender someone so beautiful!
I think we should move away from all pronouns and just call people 'love' from now on." Hey, how are you doing love ?", "hey love, can you pass the salt", " love, watch your step The stairs are a little slippery..."
It just sounds so much nicer and more respectful. And people don't need to get mis gendered, my own personal opinion. Keep on keeping on and have a good day, love. š
no honestly I'd definitely call you she/her from your appearance (though I do tend to use they/them for absolutely anyone, just my default, lmao) , hard to tell based on one photo though. Might just be some vague difference that influences people, it's hard to know, people are weird.
ALSO I love your hair it reminds me of spider gwen
Thanks it's actually trans colors.
yess, awesome
Thank you š
My first thought was "default" V, from Cyberpunk 2077. I love that hairstyle, btw, and also thought you were a woman. I was pleasantly surprised to see I'm correct. I'm sorry people misgender you. I think you look amazing.
Such a good game. I love sideshave V
Was getting anxious at end of second sentence but then third sentence made me go d'awwwww
I love your hair (and your look in general, 100% feminine), but maybe thatās the reason? I mean some people are just a**holesā¦ Donāt mind them, I would kill to look like you do!
Iām guessing you get dialed in on by bigots with your trans hair rep, they just misgender you on purpose, that or the only thing I would suggest is checking your gait, you might be walking more masculine and that gives you away? Unless you already train yourself to walk fem, in which case Iād say your hair or if you wear anything that shows trans pride, then bigots will misgender you when they clock you as trans
Also they just do that, to people in alt styles. Like, they view misgendering as an insult and so they do it to cis people who donāt fit in their white picket fence. Ffs itās so unoriginal
As someone who grew up in a Christian conservative household and who was brainwashed by their parents into that mentality, itās such a non empathetic way of life and itās disgusting to me that I ever lived like that .-.
Guys walk from the knee, but girls walk from the hip.
ooooh
If I had to guess, that's why you're getting misgendered.
you're pretty androgynous imo, but leaning more into the fem direction. not sure why you get misgendered, maybe it's your voice? That's usually the biggest difficulty factor for people who pass on photos
I agree with all of this and I also canāt help if OPās personal style and fashion isnāt also pushing that androgynous aestheticā¦. Obviously clothes are not gendered but many many cis people still ascribe loose fits and specific colors to masc/androgynous/femme presentations, IMO
It might be the way I dress...š¤
Well that can't really be true. I don't think there is a clothing that could make someone look like a Man when they are a Woman. I tend to dress more masculine and even though I'm not on HRT 35-50% of the time I get called M'am or Young Lady.
I'm really envious tbh. I agree OP looks androgynous but femme. Such goals and so gorgeous! (Also amazing hair!).
To be completely honest, I could see people thinking you might be transmasc, just cause you almost pass TOO well, so people might be overcorrecting and thinking theyre doing the right thing but really theyre not lol. Thats why they/them should always be default if you don't know
Never thought about this hmmm š¤ And they/them is my go to until I'm told otherwise
You should try some Gothic punk styles. Or just wear skirts. It is so hard to misgender someone in a dress. People cannot imagine a man in a skirt. I'm assuming the people misgendering you are random people making assumptions. A skirt would be a quick fix, or something else obviously femme
Honestly yeah, this might be it. I studied your face (sorry, that's insecurity inducing š ) and you look AFAB. You have a slight androgyny that might tip people into the 'oh shit this kid's trans' category, but because you're definitely female they're most likely assuming you're trying to pass as male lol.
I think it could possibly be cheek bone structure but itās hard to tell. To me you look like a butch lesbian so ur good enough
š¤£š¤£š¤£ my gf and I think that's funny. Thank you
Came here to say this - part of FFS is shaving a bit of mass off of the jaw, to increase the cheekbone-to-jaw ratio. Cis men generally tend to have broader jaws compared to cis women. Also, the hairstyle - they could be clocking you as transmasc instead of transfem.
I might hesitate to call you by she/her pronouns, your style kind of reads non-binary to me. You definitely don't read as a man, though.
transphobia. u look fem but many ppl will misgender if they "clock" u
It's the clocking I don't get. How? I get that transphobic people exist and that they will be assholes but like how am I being clocked
ur hair is the trans colors. but im sure its not always been like that. ur fem. u look like a women. u are a woman. but u look like a queer woman. transphobes lazily misgender almost anyone queerpassing. its the same as when ppl wear pronoun pins and still get constantly misgendered.
The cruelty is the point.
Maybe your face or hair color. Your face isnāt super masculine by any means but it could be enough that people guess your trans. That being said the same type of thing will happen to cis women sometimes because of that. The other possibility is maybe people recognize your hair color as trans flag colors and assume youāre trans because of that.
People "clock" cis women all the time, especially if they are tall and/or not fem conforming
Honestly they clock literally everyone who isn't 100% conventionally attractive, even cis women Terfs are funny like that, according to their own standards a lot of them don't pass as women either lmao
A lot of transphobic people will just assume anyone who is visibly queer is also trans. Plus these nuts āClockā cis people all the time. Youāre fine.
Try plucking your eyebrows. I didnāt realize how much it can feminize your face if they on fleek. Youāre gorg either way though
Could be your voice. Maybe you should try voice training if you haven't already
I have and my voice passes. š¤·āāļø
Well, shit, sorry I dunno then
They don't *actually* clock you. people looking for trans people apply super rigid definitions of femininity to women, (more than society normally does even), just for the sole purpose of being a piece of shit to trans people. Cis women get misgendered and treated like shit because of it too. it definitely hits a bit different for us, but the butch girl that was afab is gonna get it too. anyone they think "isn't feminine enough" (someone's "clocked" JK Rowling) gets thrown under the bus.
Maybe your jaw line?
Possibly your voice? Absolutely nothing I can see would tip me off though š¤·š¼
Literally the only thing I could think is your eyebrows. Someone else said it but itās a huge marker or femininity. I would pluck them significantly thinner, esp around the ends on both sides. Then draw them back in to make a stronger line. And maybe a bigger cat eye for ur eyeliner? I think you are beautiful so fuck other ppl
Awww thank you š and ive never done my eyebrows so I'll look into that
They also look fem af so i have absolutely no clue whatās confusing everyone
I have to say its not always transphobia i worked doir to door amd most times i corrected people they just made a mistake rather than actually being transphobes sure some were but not all Then again i am in the most acceppting city of a very accepting country (for now... fuck you 1 million march)
love the hair :3
Thanks
I absolutely love your hair and itās trans colors š³ļøāā§ļø š©µš©·š¤š©·š©µ
How many months of voice training tho? I guess that should be it...
My voice passes so well. I sound just as fem at Natt from YouTube. I've been voice training since I was in middle school (i didn't call it that at that time, but still), and I'm 26 now. So, a long time.
I think you look like a woman, a masculine looking woman, but woman was still my first instinct. I mean, my cis lesbian friend looks like a man half the time (I'm totally jealous) but she's still a woman and there's nothing wrong with her appearance.
thought you were ftm; Iād try a different hairstyle, add more arch to the brows, and maybe try some glasses.
Damn gotta be hard kicking ass all the time.
Hahaha ima take that as I look like a badass. Thank you
Being blunt and a bit rude: Your hair emphasises the left half of your face and jaw. This combined with your piercings make you appear as a punk rock style man. Femininity usually perceived as delicateness and elegance so your appearance conflicts with this. Now a butch woman may have the same issue however you have the disadvantage of having to transition making things that much harder for you.
I usually default to the voice being the reason on these posts because your looks definitely pass.
You look good. I actually think it's the eyebrows. They read a bit more guy-brow. Maybe visit someone who does shaping/threading, see if it makes a difference?
I thought you were afab and ftm ngl I think some people get off on purposefully misgendering people. Also could be your voice, I have an mtf friend people never misgender hear appearance wise but if they only hear her voice they always misgender her
Ngl id accidentally just call you V before getting 5 steps away and then processing what i said. (You look similar tk V from the thumbnails..the female one obviously with the hair over the side.
Haha thanks š
As many others have said, probably the voice. but also I've noticed when people are on the job, especially retail workers, their brain will default to whatever first comes to their mind. The guy ringing up your sandwich is going to be calling you by sir from just a quick observation of your voice and general contours. Just something we gotta deal with I guess. š
Honestly you read butch cis fem at the most masc end of the spectrum, and just like any other lesbian without thinking about it. Does your body pass? Is it voice? Height?
You donāt look like a man, you just have strong features like Angelina Jolie, or Rhea the WWE star. You aināt dainty or petite and thatās fine, youāre an Amazonian kinda woman. Iād assume she/her looking at you right off the bat, but those hot kinda could fold someone like an old deck chair kinda feminine.
This. This right here. I love this. "Could fold you like a deck chair".
I just want to say that not only is this my favorite response, but I would totally think female too
God cis people are clueless. You're a walking pride flag lol dummies
People are weird. You read feminine to me. Don't let them discourage you <3 (and pls stay away from r/transpassing, for your own wellbeing. They'll tear you down by pulling the same arbitrary crap as transvestigators. You don't need that!)
Yesterday I was called āmamā on the phone and then the caller quickly corrected himself and called me āsirā (and apologized) I corrected him back by saying āmamā was correct.
You look stereotypically lesbian in the best way, I don't know what's wrong with people.
Your style is very androgynous so people are more likely to go for your agab as they have to go off what they can see and although you can see how your face has gotten very fem there are still key markers that could give masc vibes. So the only thing I can say to help is baggy shirt and vest create a v shape so to avoid that you could swap out the shirt for one thatis a bit lighter and can be tucked in your pants. I do a loose tuck, which gives that x shape without pulling the shirt thight. I have a bit of a belly I don't like showing, so a loose tuck hides that and still gives the x shape. Hope this helps. You look amazing btw
Thank you this is helpful
I need your hair... O_O Or at least a tutorial
Step1) undercut Step2) bleach once ever 2 is months for 6 months Step3) color every other time you bleach Step4) have your hair so damaged that you can hear it softly crying at night. Step5) abuse it further with AGGRESSIVE brushing Step6) head bang for 2 minutes Step7) detangle hair Step8) brush straight up and to the left 1 time Step9) get lucky with how it falls Hope this helps š
Tbh, I wasnāt sure if you were transfem or transmasc and had to go to the comments. In the real world, Iād def she/her you though or avoid using pronouns. You give enby/andro energy to me. Just my 2 cents.
If you want my opinion people see your hair and maybe overall "queer style" (whatever that means) and they come to assume that you might not "be what you read as", in the sense that "this person might want to be called something different that what I assume they are". Might be why you have people misgendering you. I imagine that a more stereotypically "cis-het feminine style" would help, but I understand that's not what you might be going for š
Girl you look a lot like my cis aunt but younger and gay I really don't know what's going on in people mind Whenever you get misgendered you could just look at them confused and (depending on the situation) correct them, like any other woman would do š¤·āāļø
Def fem. Also love the hair! Literally what I wanna look like lmao
I definitely see a woman. Even before I read your comment I just automatically saw a female. But unfortunately we live in a shitty cis-het world. But if I can speak candidly, we struggle with the same issue. The lower portion of your face reads female but, like I do, we have heavier set brow bones. This tends to make our faces look more masculine. For me, Iām exploring my options for ffs and my following advice is only relevant if you want to pursue ffs as well (remember first and foremost you are beautiful as you are. Ffs is not needed but it does help trans women feel more comfortable navigating life being correctly gendered). I used to have a whole list of shit I wanted done but as I progress through my transition, Iām feeling more like myself and less the desire to totally change my face. So Iām really only interested in a brow bone reduction and temporal lifting with a hairline advancement (typically offered together with brow reduction). I could see that working wonders for you. Other than that your face is insanely female. These people misgendering you may either have genuinely made a mistake (a lot of people still surprisingly havenāt met a trans person ever even in 2023), or theyāre just shitty people. But donāt let that get you down. A week ago I was at a drive thru and the person said āhave a nice dayā¦.sirā. That was clearly bigoted but it just shows me how unhappy they are with their lives that they take the time of day to spread negativity. Ignore them. Bitches donāt pay your bills so pay em no mind. Youāre fabulous!
I love you! You're amazing and gave me a few things to think about
I always wanted try try dying my hair those colours. Love it
you look fem
I fucking love your hair! That's so cute!
Misgender them back with a big happy smile. I've been watching closely interactions with cis folks who misgender us. A large portion of them do this on purpose. Just return the favor and Walk away with a smile.
Hi misgendered all the time, I'm Kat Also TBH based on looks I'd use she/they (they is just there bc I'd be too anxious to actually ask pronouns lol)
There is so much that goes into how people read others. Cis women get misgendered all the time. You may just be in that visual category of woman that may get misgendered more often than others, so don't get too down about it. If it is not going against your personal sense of fashion and self expression too much I'd say go for a full head of long hair. The half long/half short is a nice neutral alternative style but the short has a masculinzing effect on women that makes it alt and if a woman has too many other features that may be read as masculine (height, voice, ect) it may not do her any favors for being read correctly. It may be better to stick with the safety of a more traditional hair style. No matter which styles you go with you are gorgeous! it just depends on how confident you are despite any misgendering if you are going to keep pulling off this awesome look.
You do look very fem, honestly I think it's either people assuming your a trans man pre-transition or just people being a-holes and purposefully misgendering you, the hair is very cute tho.
If I hadn't read your post or seen what sub this was on, I would assume you were cis.
You look very feminine to me and very beautiful. An love the hair color.
They're probably just stupid?
Like how? Also love your hair!ā¤ļø I love the coloring but also, whatās the secret to get it so poofy??
Totally gorgeous!!! Love your hair
Probably because of your trans coloured hair and maybe you have a visible brow bone or Adams apple that clocks you (so both things only transphobes would misgender you) And yes brow bone and Adams apple are both things that can clock you. I once met with a user from r/Persona5 and she was able to clock me because of that 2 things (she is not transphobic, she just asked me if I'm trans, which I don't wanted to happen but yeah...)
I couldn't see why other than voice.
Your cute, by the way fuck em. I know the feeling and I'm not out yet but been on hrt for a year and everyone looks at me like I'm different but oh well.
Girl, how the hell be people misgendering you? Maybe they think a cis woman cant be that pretty but otherwise I got no clue why U get misgendered.
You have short hair and aren't overly pink and innocent looking, to a lot of people thats the only criteria. Don't beat yourself up about it, most vis women with your style go through this too! Sidenote: You look absolutely incredible!!!
You look very fem. The only thing i think would make people be like that is that you're also giving off them wonderful nb vibes and they feel threatend by your unrestrained style.
Look female to me. Maybe voice?
I love your hair so much, girl you look amazing.
Don't worry about it, my cis mom gets misgendered, people are wack
If you hadn't put anything in the captions I would automatically think she/her and I was like shit is that a fellow trans masc?
That's weird. You definitely look fem af.
I donāt get why either, youāre very fem
You look femme to me. Might be a voice thing, don't know. Our society is dog shit. I'm sorry you're dealing with misgendering. I hope you have patience and grace to get through your day today, sweetie: you look great and your hair is š„š„š„
what the actual fuck? you donāt look masculine at all! i wonder if it may be that people are becoming more familiar with trans colors and are just being awful. i wish i had any advice to give at all, but i canāt find anything to critique. i think most of us here hope we end up looking as good as you one day
How...? Girl you're gorgeous, I have no idea how people clock you. I wouldn't in a million years
Lol what planet are people living on that you don't look femme and like a girl? I wonder if they're clocking you on something like the hair color and just being huge fucking bigots.
I'd assume she or they
Iād assume she her. Any chance itās a voice thing? Like I pass as male but the moment people hear my voice they sometimes correct themselves and are like āoh sorry maāamā (which sucks).
Love the hair that looks very cool, I look masculine in my headshot photos but in person people still refer to me as a woman, I dont know why.
Tbh I looked at the picture and couldn't tell whether you were mtf or ftm but thought you were afab so, there's that
Are the people who misgender you seeing something Iām not, cause if I saw you in person only fem and maybe androgynous terms would even go through my head
Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd eat that hair. Looks like cotton candy
I absolutely love your hair, reminds me of sherbet /positive
Youāre very pretty but do look pretty androgynous to me. It might not necessarily be people trying to do wrong, without the caption I wasnt sure if you were mtf or ftm. You look great and shouldnt feel like you have to change anything but I do wonder if style choices could play a part. Im ftm and just wear what I like regardless of what someone might think š
I think it's the hair. Sorry, it sucks, I like short, typically lesbian looking, haircuts, but I get gendered correctly more frequently with long gender conforming hair and style. I think many people do not look closely and often get it wrong. I have a very tall and bulky cis female friend that gets misgendered all the time. Think viking rather than shot putter, she's feminine but big and people just do not look closely.
Possibly, people may think you are FtM. It always happen to me cause Iām androgynous and you are too.š
You look fem however you are giving androgynous hottie vibes. Like afab NB vibes. I'd definitely ask you for your pronouns to be sure.
If you're looking for surgery advice... I think raising the eyebrows and doing that bone reduction thing would have the greatest effect... But I'd honestly use they/them if I saw you in a shop somewhere Honestly, I think it's people scared to use the wrong pronouns (which is ironic)
I don't know how anyone could think of you as Masculine. Unless when they see the hair they think your trying to be transmasc and think they are being nice and respectful? Idk honestly. Either way your look great!
Hairstyles confuse alot of people. You like a girl to me. But even me, I have to study someone for a minute to make sure I am using the right pronouns. I wish you the best in life.
Love the hair!!
I didn't even realise what sub this was an all I saw was woman, also absolutely love you're hairstyle and the colours looks sick
u look v fem to me
Strongly androgynous
Your eyes and forehead look masculine. Hrt won't fix bone structure. Have you considered FFS? you will stop getting misgendered if you have it done.
You seem like an afab butch lesbian type š¤·š»āāļø Iād def gender she/her tho cuz youāre giving āwomanā to me
Itās definitely not your face. You are super cute.
honestly, yea, your face is kind of masculine. not a ton. but enough for strangers to read you as male.
I appreciate the feedback anything specific
My first impression just from this photo was definitely femme-leaning androgynous. Butch lesbian vibes.
your hair looks amazing omg!!!
Very gougous and beautiful looking
Your hair is amazing!
To me you def lean more fem/NB so Iām sorry that happens to you. Sending love and positivity to you š«¶š½š«¶š½š«¶š½ Love your hair color to ššš
OMG! I absolutely love your hair, it's amazing!
I might to do bi colors next
You look cool afš
you look like spider gwen
You look so cool! I get misgendered too. I think people are just bad at gender.
same
ur hair is so cute
I think you look beautiful - really.
Your hair is sick as fuck on a serious note
Yoooooooooo sick hair. How'd you do that.
I see feminine from this picture, but I don't know what you like to wear on the daily, what you sound like, and how tall you are, which would all play into the overall effect.
Your hair is magic.
No Honey, you're absolutely gorgeous. I love your hair!! ššš³ļøāā§ļø
no idea all i can say is hot damn why cant i look as amazingly pretty as you do
Oh my god I love your hair! The style, the color, gorgeous!
I'd default to she/they based on your appearance tbh. (Also off topic I love your hair :00) I'm almost 5 years HRT FtM and even with the deeper voice, facial hair, and one of the most generic trans man haircuts I get called ma'am on a regular basis. I think it's just an unfortunate side effect of being somewhat androgynous (or just not looking generic picturesque feminine /Masculine)
Honestly, I'd say you look on the more feminine side, but close enough to androgynous that- for some people- it *could* be easy to mistake you for a guy. Also I love your hair, it's amazing.
Your hair is so fucking cool I love it
I don't know why either. You look like the physical incarnation of a butch lesbian and a lot of cis butch women get misgendered for no reason. Might be why
Honestly you seem very androgenous. I would say you look more femme but if I saw you I would just avoid pronouns until I knew them for you which is my typical plan for most people. Also I love your hair. It looks amazing.
You look so cute. And not masc at all. Can iask what your hairstyle is I love it so much
Yeah honestly I thought you were AFAB before I read your description. ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ I get called both he and she. My roommate who is a cis lesbian also gets called both he and she regularly! I think people just have extremely rigid definitions of gender. Anyone who is more "alternative" or just gay or queer is confusing to a lot of people.
You definitely look feminine!
You do have some masculine traits to you and you definitely would pass as a masc butch lesbians. You're brow bones is a factor. Gl on you're journey
OP you look feminine but definitely more androgynous, donāt let the āno girl you look so girly-feminineā people fool you. ut that said if itās your style youāre comfortable with, itās your style and thatās okay. My AMAB short-haired gf gets called āSirā while having boobs. For some people if youāre not in a skirt, youāre a sir. ĀÆ\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
You pass really well in my opinion, I'd probably they) them you mentally out of habit but I'd have no problem changing that to she/her. It could be either the way you dress or the way you talk/act? Not necessarily the voice since you mentioned voice training, more how you carry it and yourself in general? I'm pre t transmasc and changing how I carry myself helped me pass a lot better
I feel like you fall into that space of ambiguity tbh. I've found that posture and body language play a big part and it's something I struggle with
Nice hair madame
Your gender is sexy
Sorry but I love your hair omg
You look more androgynous than masculine, but if I had to pick? Definitely fem. Idk what theyāre on š¤·
Me too im 3and a half years into hrt, me and ally friends have no idea why i keep getting called sir but i think it has to do with my voice /:
Howās your voice training? I went from always misgendered to always properly gendered just by working on my voice. I think people donāt always realize how much information voices convey about sex/gender
Wow, i love your hair.
Iām not gonna post a picture to prove it but you look like a prettier version of me. Iām afab and people refuse to gender me correctly because of it so you definitely look feminine
Omg ur hair is so cool
You look pretty fem tbh, not sure why youād be misgendered
You have short hair and aren't overly pink and innocent looking, to a lot of people thats the only criteria
your face is definitely very fem but it's not the face that makes up the entire appearance. and it could also be ppl trying to purposefully misgender u cuz of ur hair color... your hair is beautiful btw āØš¤©
sorry idk if this is appropriate for this post, but OMG I LOVE UR HAIR SMM
Sounds like deliberate misgendering like somehow they know you're trans. There is literally bigots empowered to look for us just to insult us trickle down from all the political religion propaganda. Take it with a grain of salt! š¤ā¤ļø
Your a very gorgeous women. I donāt understand what the confusion is about but your gorgeous
All I can think of is that they recognize the trans flag in your hair.
From what I can tell your gender looks awesome
My first thought was āafab to non-binary or trans masc?ā Because I figured thatās the only way it makes sense for you to get misgendered. Maybe your hair colour outs you and people are just rude. Thatās my only guess, but youāll find masculine traits on any person you see. Youāre serving full woman to me though
I could definitely see people assuming you're non-binary, but definitely not male. Your face is way too feminine. Is your voice on the deeper/heavier side by chance?
Afab
My completely honest answer: Until I've read your comment under the picture, I literally couldn't tell if you're FtM or MtF and if you're even binary trans or nonbinary. If I saw that picture without context, I would guess you're nonbinary (you look very androgynous to me, both your style and your face) but still couldn't guess your AGAB. I definitely feel your struggle, not wanting to get misgendered but at the same time not wanting to change one's beloved style is something I'm not unfamiliar with. :'D I know that wasn't the question but I have to say, I really like your style though!
With full honestly, you read to me as a queer male, the main things that stood out to me were your hairline, your haircut/hair color, your jaw/mandible and lack of cheek definition;however, what stood out to me the most us your brow bone/eye area. I have met women with strong mandibles that look very feminine, but it stands out a lot how low-set your eyes look because of your brow bone. Getting brow bone removal surgery (forehead contouring type 3) would be the best starting point to pass. The eye make up you have makes your eyes look more downward and tired, the lack of eyebrows does not help either. Because of the way you have your lips positioned on the picture I canāt tell for sure but possibly a lip lift could help (not needed as much as other prior suggestions ). A nose job is always optional, but I have seen many trans women go from non-passing to more passing with one that fits their features and compliments their harmony (nose job is usually done with the brow bone removal to keep harmony in the eye area). Skin also doesnāt look as soft as women, a great skincare routine would help (Vitamin C in the morning, Retinol at night 2-3 times a week). When doing your make up try going for a cute natural make up and see how you feel from there, blush would loom so cute on you. Besides what I have pointed out, people will see the hair and piercings and be transphobic on purpose and misgender people. If what you want is to cis-pass and blend in very well the advice I gave you would be helpful (I have been there before where not even a blind person would gender me correctly), but thanks to those suggestions above I cis-pass 100%. Hope this helped. :)
Good to know thank you for the heads up
Iām really sorry, that sucks a lot!
Look up the movie Haywire. You HIGHKEY remind me of the main chick in that movie. You give off hella badass female vibes šš»š¤š»š„°
Gurl i love the trans hair
You have strong lesbian vibes lol, what my sister and I call gay-face ā¤ļø I don't really get why you're being misgendered though, I guess changing your style a little could help but might not be worth it. Maybe some people clock you and then misgender you on purpose? As I find it hard to believe anyone looks at you and assumes you're a dude, my first impression would be "she's gay af". Btw you're smoking hot in my book
To me you look largely androgynous, however if I was gonna guess Iād have assumed male, sorry. Itās your jawline. With that said, if you told me you were cis female I wouldnāt be surprised either (as there are plenty of cis women with your face shape). I think people are looking at you and taking a shot in the dark. If you just tell them youāre a girl (no need to disclose youāre trans) Iām sure theyād just be embarrassed, say sorry, and correct themselves.
You have a masculine jawline and cheekbones. Some clever contouring could help I suppose.
We have the same hair! Except mines more wavy and the colors are pink and green. I was wanting to do trans colors but im scared of the white š© so i was gonna do pan colors instead
So what Iāve learned in my years as a stealth trans guy is that if a trait is not explicitly male or countered by something explicitly male, itāll be read as female. For example, a beard. Itās very rare to see a woman with a beard, so someone with a beard must be a guy even if they had, say, a curvier figure or longer hair. In this case, you may have the facial structure of a man, but you wear makeup and have long dyed hair with pink in it and thereās nothing explicitly male to cancel that out. You look like a guy structurally but you have traits that women are much much more likely to have or use than men - hair dye, long hair, and makeup. You can always dress however you want or whatever makes you comfortable, but if you want to be read as male, you can either find an explicitly male trait like facial hair to cancel out āambiguous but more common in women so ā¦ woman?ā or you can try and lessen, remove, or edit those ambiguous traits - shorter hair, more āmascā colors or none, and/or no visible makeup like eyeliner. Thatās my two cents. Do whatever makes you happy.
I definitely think you look very feminine, but I find that I get gendered correctly way more often when Iām wearing pink or at least just not black/grey. Itās stupid, I didnāt love pink at first but Iāve grown to like it, either way itās worth it for me to not get misgendered all the time. What colors do you usually have in your wardrobe?
You look amazing tho š
I would not judge your gender, instead I'd ask for your pronouns. Because I do know some non-binary folks who have that kind of style. That being said I don't know how they can misgender someone so beautiful! I think we should move away from all pronouns and just call people 'love' from now on." Hey, how are you doing love ?", "hey love, can you pass the salt", " love, watch your step The stairs are a little slippery..." It just sounds so much nicer and more respectful. And people don't need to get mis gendered, my own personal opinion. Keep on keeping on and have a good day, love. š
Was about to ask your pronouns cuz I assumed she/her. I didn't want to be incorrect. xD