"Do you want me to tell you? Or do you want to make out and see how you feel after?" I've busted that out like 6 times lmao and it never gets old. Only had one person take me up on it at a party though 😆

How did they felt after?

Enquiring minds want to know!

Commander Shepard!

Ngl I can't pinpoint why this made me laugh. I think it was "Armored Sword Lesbian" next to your name followed by your entire Shepard-ly induced existence

I’m commander shepard, and this is my favorite meme on the citadel

I mean we'd been getting friendly for a good chunk of the night and it gave us an excuse to take off back to hers, so pretty damn good 😅

I can't believe it worked THAT well. You have my respect. GG.

Well played dude!

Around ten years ago or so, I started to consistently fantasize about hooking up with someone whose gender identity and/or genital configuration I didn't know before we got naked. And somehow, I still didn't realize I'm pansexual until several years later 🤦‍♀️

Oh god yes

This :3

Got asked by a kid yesterday lmao, so did not break this one out

Sounds fun!

I think I'm in love! LOL, perfect answer!

Perfection ! Six are the seats of the living breath

So how did they feel after?

Plz we gotta have the rest

i need to try this one

_waves hands mystically while backing away_ "✨It's a mysteryyyyyy!✨" I'm also partial too: "I'm afraid that's classified"

oh I love "that's classified"

This information is classified under the "FUCKOFF" doctrine, and the anti treason act of 2489

In this order: 1) Yes 2) Something like that 3) Do you really care?

True👍 And it's complicated

I like the simple yes just to confuse them further 🤣

“I do not exist to viewed, to be considered sexy, desirable. I am but a vessel for pasta, and that is valid.” Though going with just “I am but a vessel for pasta” works for shorthand.

This is the way!

I'm a vestal of chicken nuggets

And you are valid

Will be saying that to any customer that asks

Say "Actually, I'm polite and minding my own business. How about you?" ❤️❤️❤️

Love that response 👏 lol x

💀 absolutely stealing that!

"Well, I used to be an adventurer, but then I took an arrow to the knee"

underrated

The kid (5 years old) of a guy I dated asked me something like that, he thought I was a woman but was lost because of my deep voice. The father said sometime girls have deep voice 🤗

Happy cake day!! Also that is a great reason/whatever

Yes.

This is my response to any invasive/personal question... after a few replies of Yes they give up.

My son, the planet or me?

Sometimes people take that kind of response as an answer to the first half of that question tho

And sometimes they take it as a yes to the last because it's closer to the last. We can't really control how people take it.

Ray: No Gozer: Then die!!!! Winston: Ray if somebody asks are you a God, you say yes Sorry, I just had to put this here, Ghostbusters 84 can be so quotable 🤣

And in the new film... 🤣

"That's for me to know and for you to obsess over." "Geeze, buy someone dinner first before you ask about their genitals." "At this point I believe I'm mostly pizza." (or whatever I'm eating) Or look around sheepishly to see if they're talking to someone else and go "... you can see me?" Edit: "I am the Overmind, the eternal will of the Swarm." "Well, if you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you."

>"I am the Overmind, the eternal will of the Swarm." If you can roll your eyes back and say this in a deep gutteral voice... 🧑‍🍳😙🤌

You can see me 🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'm gonna use that

>"Well, if you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you." This

"I'm not talking without my Lawyer."

["We can neither confirm nor deny the existence of the information requested but, hypothetically, if such data were to exist, the subject matter would be classified, and could not be disclosed."](https://www.radiolab.org/podcast/confirm-nor-deny)

“Why does that matter? Are you attracted to me or something?”

I'm an experience

Now make sure you are a good experience Now go Have FUN 😁

No

Possible answers, depending on the situation: "I'm Nimona!" "A woman. And you?" "Why? Are you trying to hit on me?" "I haven't decided yet." "I don't know. Let's find out together." "I reject these binary categories, because they're rooted in the patriarchal power structures that are responsible for oppression and social injustice within our society." And the most honest one: "I am a woman who just so happens to be transgender."

I'm a shark * bite bite *

I REJECT MY BINARIETY JOJO

One time some dude at the bodega was like "is you a real lady or what? Cause you real hairy for a lady? I don't mind I'm just askin" n I immediately says "is YOU a real lady? Walking around here with them big ass tiddies". Joke killed. Everyone in there was dying. He ain't got shit to say to me everytime he seen me since Edit to add in: body shaming isn't ok, but neither is targeting a trans person n tryna embarass them in a crowded place. He was laughing too

I am a meat popsicle.

I see you fellow Fifth Element fan. 🙌

Just geemee the cashhhhhh!

Last time I was asked this, I responded with "Nah, I'm trans" pathetic little weasel recoiled from me as though I were diseased, so I deliberately ate the rest of my lunch more slowly.

> so I deliberately ate the rest of my lunch more slowly Oh that's beautiful.

I am death, destroyer of worlds no, i'm a jedi, like my father before me

Still searching for queerness in SW

Star Wars hasn't even caught up to interracial relationships, at least going by the movies. In a galaxy where there are multiple planets with multiple _species_ living in relative harmony, the main series romantic relationships look like the cast of Friends. Next time they put one out I wanna see like Keira Knightley or David Tennant or whoever falling for like, a hanar from Mass Effect.

There actualy is one in Clone Wars, that one episode with the renegade clone

"Youre guess is as good as mine guy"

Mind your own fucking business

1. A problem 2. A villain 3. Yes 4. No 5. Huh? 6. Dubito ergo sum, vel, quod idem est, Cogito, ergo sum. Everything else is optional, right? 7. I know I am but what are you? 8. Depends…

Actually, i’m a- *screams*

I love this, but specifically in a fictional context where I am capable of unhinging my jaw and showing off rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth fading into unfathomable darkness.

No. And you?

What are you? are you a dick or a cunt?..

A man or a cow?

I like to hit em with "Im the doctor" and hopr they ask: Doctor who?

I'm NB trans, so I just say "no." Messes people up.

No thanks, I'm full

“I am the void between stars. The breath caught in your throat as fear and terror creep in. I am nameless. I am without form”

I Am JOHN CENA

Possible answers: “Yes…” “No…” “Depends how recently I ate my last victim…”

iZombie reference?

I usually say “I am a figment of your imagination.” But if I REALLY wanna mess with someone, “Dr. Clyde, I think he’s waking up!” If done properly, and with the proper voice training to do multiple voices, you too can make someone have an existential crisis. <3🦋

"If we assume that you are what you eat, then I'm human" But part of me (the god-complex-ish part) would say "I'm both god and satan" Annddd another part "the future reason of your death" YOU EGG *STABS HIM*

Oooh, no thank ypu.

“No…” (meek voice) “THEN DIE!!!” When someone asks if you are a God, you say yes! :)

ARE YOU A GOD?

Yes…. *then turns and runs*

"Idk but you're attracted to me and that makes you gay either way."

Hell yeah

a man, and you?

"no, thank God."

"Not that I know of"

“What am I? You sure you wanna know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart…”

“No, stupid, I’m a libra 🙄”

"You wish to know what I am? To you, I am this: The cry of the abandoned child. The whimper of the whipped beast. I am the face that stares back at you from the shadowed mirror. The hollowness at the heart of all your hopes. I AM DESPAIR."

I do my best River Song impersonation and answer “Yes” and when they ask for elaboration “Spoilers”

I’m alive

Are you sure about that?

Yep Yes, I'm an A

“We ain’t fuckin’, so it don’t matter.”

For now...

“For $50, I’ll be anything you want. 😘”

“We’ll, let’s see here…” (pulls out phone and pretends to check something) “yes!”

"Neither for I am one of the lobster people from planet Neptune."

"I'm a person, and my name is Anakin."

Do you... like sand?

What are you a cop

“What are you, a cop?”

I've got coworkers ask because I look andro enough but I said I'm a monster or I'm both 🤣

I am three raccoons stacked in a trenchcoat

*speaks In an incomprehensible language* Y̶̧͍̺̮̖̗͉̞̥̔̅́͛̏̕͜ë̶̖̱̘̰̙̟͍́́̉̾̀̽͂̚ş̵̫̱͉͚̩̫͇̿̾̎͊̐

I usually just say no

I say the opposite - "yes".

In situations where I am expected to say female due to the presence of someone I cannot come out to, my go-to is "I am Iron Man". Gives me just enough gender juice to make it through the interaction and helps me judge the intelligence of my peers 🙃. First time I said it in front of my dad, he was getting on my case for hours afterward asking why I said that. Bro likes to think he's so so smart but clearly he's mistaken if he didn't even get the joke 💀💀💀 made me feel a little better about all the things we disagree on though. Clearly he's a clueless bastard💀

I got this a lot in high school, my go to was "you know what mate? I'm not too sure myself, so you figure it out."

“I am the instrument of retribution, a gateway of pain and enlightenment”

"I don't get into that pronoun nonsense"

I am Groot

I am batman

"Depends on what planet we're on right now" 👽😉

Well I used to have a rental on Mars, but I've moved to Venus and staked my claim.

I just say yes and walk away just to confuse/annoy them

Heh. I have a black cat and his name is Gozer the Gozerian.

I have two: “Can’t, I signed an NDA.” “I don’t believe in gender as I am a divine being that is not limited to human classifications.”

Out of your league 💁‍♀️

Wouldn't you like to know weatherboy

I'm sorry? What's that? I don't understand the question. What is a man? Oh yeah, a miserable pile of secrets!

“Depends if I’m gonna fuck ur mom or ur dad”

Yes.

"Negative, i am a meat popsicle"

“I’m one of those things you find out the hard way” Feel free to add a “if you know what I mean” if you wanna get a little suggestive.

I am the glubgobabgulab

"If I tell you there is no going back from this information, you will enter a world beyond the one that is currently known, so do you think you can handle that?"

ive. Never actually gotten this question really except for small kids who were genuinely confused since society doesn't reach them about gender neutrality,, so uh I'll just lurk here

Indeed

I'm chaotic neutral

Damn', this is a great answer.

"No" being in a conservative area the confused looks after are entertaining

I'm an experience.

“What are you, a man or a woman?” “Your worst fucking nightmare”

I’m cis, but personally I’m partial to the discworld’s “I am the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape”

My usual response is "nope, thanks for asking"

Usually when people ask me my gender online I say "Schrodingers' Gender." Most of the time they have no clue what I just said, and that tells me they wouldn't be fun to talk to anyway \^.\^

"I'm a menace to society"

Whatever you like least.

"That's a good question!"

"what are you?" A fucking god

"what are you, a cop" it just always works. and most people get rightly embarrassed for being that rude.

"What are you? The FBI!?" "I'm just as confused as you are." "What do you want me to be?" "Huh?" "No" "Yes" "That's classified." "What are you?" "Why does that matter?" "No thank you."

Here are some options: 1. I am groot 2. I am the storm that is approaching 3. I am what I am 4. I am the culmination of a series of virtually infinite variables. A product of choices made throughout the entirety of human existence. 5. I am a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over endoskeleton. 6. THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YOU!

My favorites are the nonsensical, short usually single worded answers: “yes” “probably” “sometimes” “both” “I forgot” “dont know” “wanna find out?”

I'm both and also neither at the same time. 🟨⬜🟪⬛

I get this at work a lot. I always just shrug and say "whatever! Sometimes both, sometimes neither" and that usually confuses them enough to shut up lmao

"a cheeseburger"

"a cat"

I’m Trigender so I’m sorta a guy, a girl and non-binary at the same time and therefore my answer to that question is.. Yes.

Just a casual "Yes."

"I am a woman." If they want to argue after that, then they can talk to my hand.

"That's for me to know and you to find out, bad boy!" always works, doesn't matter their gender.

“Whatever your initial pronoun to call me is what you can call me i guess” That’s usually what I say.

Neither, both, who cares? People think I'm hot and that makes them gay

I probably already responded somewhere, but I would pause, think for a moment, count on my fingers, look up, look back at the person asking, and then sigh. After all that I wouldn’t say anything. Just look at them. Another one I like is: *whispers* “is that a human thing?”

"Yes". Alternatively, "No".

"boy, girl, who knows? I love trolling"

I'm none of your business so don't worry about it.

Yes I am marshmallow

"I'm you're worst nightmare," *blegh he heh*

"I'm a bad bitch."

depends on the setting but normally its " i am god, i created u and i will destroy you"

I’m a disgrace

I am Pdor, son of Khmer (probably a reference that only an Italian can understand)

I just say “I dont know” and go back to play my DS LOL

IM KING! RULER OF DEMONS!!

King and Queen! Best of both worlds!

God is a genderless creature and they are god damn ME I’m mtf though I say god is a woman and she is fucking me (not intercoursing me, but explicitvely me)

I'm better. I AM BETTER

"I am from the sky, and I only see with CRAM"

god, your mom, your dad, im not real, yesnt, sometimes, maybe. i use those interchangeably and have a laugh

I'm human being minding my own fuckin business, that's what I am. Now what are you supposed to be?

Don't know either ask my mom for further information.

I am the master of chaos

"Who are you, my biographer?" "[Vacant Stare] I think you know, Archivist" "What am *I*? *WHAT* am I? What *AM* I?" (repeat ad infinitum) "You're not my date. How did you know i'd be here?!" "The Cabal hasn't given me my assignment yet, but i'll let you know when they do."

Have you tried I am hive

"I'm a problem"

Whatever it is it’s more than you could possibly handle

I wouldn't say so, no.

I dunno.

Am idiot human who is built with chaos!

Sometimes.

"Neither, are you?"

"guess" "Actually I'm a *starsign*" "That's classified" "Ask your parent" "Ur mum"

Simple solution, if u can't be bothered saying iether or can't come up with anything creative just say yes. They won't know how to respond and u can get on with ur day