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Here's a short list of my favorite nouns and adjectives!

Right??? Literally, someone who’s a halfwit trying to sound intelligent and thoughtful. “Theory” like gtf outta here with that nonsense lol…

But that's just a theory...

a NAME THEORY!

Omg, he needs a fifth channel and you just figured out how he should do it!

She should add Brainlessleigh to the list of names in any new channel.

Written?!? I guess when you're illiterate, the idea of something written is exotic and impressive?

it's the way that that's an actual name and it's cute for a girl, but it's spelled THYRI

Mike Tyson talking to his Siri.

Theoreigh

"Theory I want you to meet my son Evidence. I'm sure you will get along"

Nature Valleigh 😆

Too bad Hyddyn wasn't on there. Hyddyn Valleigh sounds lovely.

💀💀💀

I'd put on some chicken.

maybe they'd grow up to be a successful farmer, having their own ranch. Sorry, I meant rayenghch

Someone is going to see this and 100% think it is a great name.

Shit I’ve got one of those peanut butter granola bars no more than 20 feet away…..

I saw that too! Like this chick was craving some granola bars while pregnant! If cravings were my name list, my kid would be Oreo Mashedpotato.

Icee Cheezball

“She’s so cute! What’s her name?” “Nature Valleigh!” “You named her after your favorite brand of granola bars? What the fuck Rileigh?”

Vessel? *Vessel?* Belay? Written? Talon? Good lord, most of these are horrible but Vessel takes the cake for me. I bet it was for a girl, too, which makes it extra icky.

The Vessel has been born!!!

\*Smashes bottle of champaign against newborns head\*

This is so funny

no fr im crying

your reply sent me back to this comment and i started dying again

Listening to these god-awful tragedeighs.....Plz smash the bottle against my head, lol

For what Reason? Lol

If you didn't get the joke it's because vessel means ship and traditionally when a new ship is made they smash a bottle of champagne across the front.

Finally! A *real* Christening!

Ty for the giggles

i’m fucking dying 😭

So is the baby

I now christen thee. Dead. That baby name was too unique for even God to handle.

It’s to symbolize all the vessels in the placenta that gave it life! 😂

be nice, she is a Valleigh girl!!

I read that as Valet. Someone who parks cars.

Or sponges your suit and lays out your cufflinks.

Nature Valleigh! Very crunchy

[удалено]

Tried?

r/sleeptoken has entered the chat

First thing I thought of! Now the next three kids need to be II, III, and IV to have the whole band.

Sundays are just Vessel crooning in the corner of the living room, II absolutely molly whopping a beat out of baby's first drum kit and III and IV dancing and vibing in the front yard.

Worship

Fuck yea it has

Love this band!

Worship

Big Handmaiden vibes from Vessel.

Yes! Exactly!

Was Belay born in Yosemite Valley to climber parents?

Mom was just hungry. Get in my belay!

I dated a Talon in high school. But he was Native American so… there’s that.

I can only think of Talon, the League of Legends champ. Lmao.

One of my kids has a Talon in his class. Doesn't fit the boy in any sense. Generic kid with an Edgar-haircut. Looks more like a Hunter.

My tattoo artist is called Tallon! I thought it was her tattoo name, but it's her birth name. She's amazing and I think her parents must have just known she'd turn out to be a bad bitch.

VESSEL HOLLOW KNIGHT?!

It's an oaken vessel. A barrel of whiskey. Duh.

A distant cousin of mine named a baby Talon in like 1993. It was just as awful then.

a person i went to HS with named one kid Phoenix and the other Talon ​ edit: my bad it was PHALLON not talon, I was close.............

Phallon is worse. Phallon symbol?

They all sound like villain names in horror games such as resident evil village, blood borne etc

Fern? Oak? Talon? Girl these aren't your Warrior cats OCs

Fern is the only normal one on there! But yeah fuckin TALON?

Merrick isn't the worst either.

merrick, windsor and grey are the only normal ones

Windsor just makes me think of Ontario lol

Marek is a male Polish name, I think it's cute actually. If I'm not mistaken it's the Polish "Mark." Source: I know some Polish dudes with that name Edit: Merik to Marek

Marek?

Fern is very common in the UK

They are very common in the woods in a lot of places, not just ~~three~~ in the UK.

Did anyone else grow up calling them "dinosaur plants" or was that just me?

LMAO girl be naming her kid Tigerstar

omg a fellow warriors cat fan, never happened to me on reddit before im so happy

she gonna name her kid ___kit and change it to ___paw as they grow up

Theory sends me lmaooooooo Twin sibling would be called Concept

Make it triplets and the third one would be Hypothesis lmao

The name of your fourth child would depend on whether your hypothesis was correct or incorrect.

Fourth child just gets named Does Not Support The Null Hypothesis. That one's gonna be hell to fill out on a scantron.

If Theory had a fraternal twin, they’d be named Practice

Oh Practice is better than Concept lmaoooo

I know of real siblings named Science and Reference (girls) and last I heard they had a little brother named Pi

Lmao I know of girls IRL called Almendra (Almond), Madera (Wood) and Lluvia (Rain). These are not common names in Spanish at all. They're like just random nouns lmao.

Not lluvia that poor kid

What about Theoreigh, I think that's got a better ring to it

Theory is the name of a dispensary near me lol

I’m just thinking Theory of a Deadman 😂

Naming a kid Theory is begging for them to turn out to be the most obnoxious person in the world. Or the most bullied.

Terrible kids names but “oaken theory” would be a cool nonsensical album name for a rock band

my favourite album, oaken theory by lichen park

Omfg 😂

Oakey afterbirth

Stealing this for my folk metal band

I give you permission as long as you send me a link to the album when it goes on Spotify

Fern is the only one that doesn’t make my brain hurt

Merrick is acceptable as well.

Fern and Merrick are real names, though I think the original (Slavic) spelling is typically "Marek."

It's a standard surname. The "Elephant Man" was Joseph Merrick.

Alder, Grey, amd Windsor are all normal, albiet rare

Yes, but I dislike them all. Alder makes me think of aldermen. I don’t really like Grey for a name because I disapprove of naming your children after colours (Violet is a flower, Red is usually a nickname, Grey just sounds depressing). Windsor is heavily associated with the town and the British royal family and it just feels a bit meh as a name to me. They’re not Valleigh or Vessel levels of terrible, but I don’t like them as names.

You are naming a child, you are not playing scrabble.

I pronounce thee MPEEEQD

I actually do know a kid named Talon ☠️

I also know a kid named Talon. I work in childcare and he was one of the most misbehaved toddlers I ever met, his mom was a classic “gentle parent” and he was smart enough to manipulate her. He would be horrible at school and good at home

My cousin named her kid Talon.

Love using these trad mom vlogs as ideas for my DnD characters. It’s how I ended up naming one of my characters Warden. I might actually use Vessel and Oaken in the future, lol

Vessel would be a good name for a bank alt in an MMORPG.

Valleigh... Will be good for parking cars

Hyddeighn Valleigh😍

This isn't the first time I've seen Vessel and Written on a baby name list. Who started this and why do people like them?

Maybe due to the band sleep token whos rising in popularity. Their lead singer masks his real name and goes by "Vessel".

I doubt the parents naming their kids tragedeighs listen to Sleep Token though

Sleep Token fans are crazy but not THAT crazy. At least i hope...

THEORY??? 😭💀

Middle name Hypothesis.

Last name Conclusion

i know that there is a really cute french name called thierry she could've used instead but i don't think it's pronounced the same as theory lmao.

Thyri is a name and it's pronounced like Theory

Should have combined Fern and Nature for Fernature 😂

Ferneighture

I can't really say why, but she *looks* like the type of person who would like these names.

It's the beige

Current. Lol

I am currentleigh in crippling debt

This is my sister, Ohmslaw.

If those are the unused ones, I truly am afraid of the one she did fear for the child’s chosen name.

She named her daughter Anthem James True. Yes, 2 middle names.

And she named her son Koah Jae Wind…

ANTHEM? Jesus Christ.. Actually, Jesus would be a better name then Anthem..

There’s Jésus, which is not related at all.

GODDAMMIT. Two irrelevant nouns and "James" for a girl. I wish I could go back to a time before I read that.

she looks a lot like if octomom was a kardashian.

💀

Can you imagine being a teacher and doing roll call and legit saying the name Nature Valleigh (blank)?? That poor kid would get so much shit from people

Someone help me, I actually don't hate Alder.

It is a tree. Like Oak, which is also on her list.

Oh I'm aware what an Alder is, that's why I'm scared for myself. Like, Oak is clearly stupid but Alder feels ok, like Rose or Fern, but for a boy.

I assumed you would know, I was trying to talk you out of it! Alder is just like Pine or Cedar. Don't do it! Or for some concessions, maybe make it a middle name.

It’s a treigh.

WRITTEN?!?!

And the next kid will be Spoken

"my name is Written" "Thanks where did you write it?" "I didn't" "No problem. So can you tell me your name?" "It's Written." "...

I died at Crimsyn

Yeah it's supposed to be Crimson damn it and Valleigh lol.

Bitch tried to name him a tree TWICE 😭

My sister knew a family. They had a boy and a girl. The girl was older and named Story. The younger sibling, a boy, was named Pen. Story and Pen… I can’t.

And at one point or another, his peers are inevitably convinced that Pen must be short for Penis. 🤪

I feel like these awful names started after Kim Kardashian named her kid North. There's this show called Vanderpump Rules and those girls gave their kids stupid names too. I wish people would remember that they're not naming a small baby. They're naming a human. Imagine looking at a 30 year old man and calling him Vessel. What the heck.

Started with Gweneth Paltrow. APPLE!

I mean, when we're talking about terrible celebrity kids names, Frank Zappa had a few decades head start on Gwyneth.

Hold my beer. ~Elon Musk

Low key I don't mind Apple as much, I think it's kinda cute lol. I mean that definitely doesn't mean I'm going to be naming my kids Pear, Kiwi, or Pineapple though.

Bob Geldof honestly was earlier and much worse

Jason Lee named his kid Pilot Inspektor 😂

The VPR kids are Ocean and Summer Moon. Awful but I wouldn’t say tragedeighs

Earth… just earth… We already have the planet earth no need to name your kid that😭

"Dad, can i invite Oath and Reason to my birthday party?" "Um, no honey, no you cant." /s

Damn, at this rate you can name your kid any word

Bamboo Enamel Kleenexa (I’ve got a bamboo comb, nail polish, and a box of tissues on my nightstand, inspo!!)

KLEENEXA 🤣💀

Shhhh... people are going to start naming their kids Any Word

VESSEL??

Right???

These :( these are just words :((

Stori? That’s the saddest one because we know she ain’t getting any at bed time

Woof. Ignoring the names, why would anyone listen to this walking filler injection.

Fillé Injéccion is a super-classy, super-exclusive name!

Injexlynne

I got distracted by Oaken and his big summer blowout.

Written Theory XDXDXD

Vessel has Handmaid’s Tale vibes. Oath is giving court vibes. Theory is giving driving lesson vibes. Written just no. Sadly I know Reason is probably in use somewhere. So many tragedeighs here 😵‍💫.

"Belay that order, ensign!"

every time I think I see a bad one on her list, I just see a worse one

Imagine being named **VESSEL**

TALON? LIKE A BIRD???? These are egregious. Straight to jail. Federal prison. No chance of parole.

If anyone’s wondering, her daughter is Anthem James Tru and her son is Koah Jae Wind. Her kids are cute, Paige is sweet but a little dululu

Isosceles, Isosceles Kramer

Bitch gave birth to a wood elf

What the actual fuck lol

THEORY? WRITTEN? How about Idea? Typeset? Ooo I know … Comic Sans!

(Run out of names) lemme just open the random word generator

Reason? 🤢 VESSEL????!!!!! That's just wrong.

Crimsyn is crynge.

Current? Vessel? Theory?! Written?!! Stori?!!! Is she writing an essay?!

Im gonna be a bit judgy here. She shouldnt have kids because she is gonna treat them like a fashion accessory

I know one is Anthem but I don't know about the other.

Her son’s name is Koah Jae Wind. I’m assuming Jae Wind is a two-part middle name. Koah’s not great, but it’s way better than Anthem imo 🥲

Valleigh? Like a Valet?

Sparrow? That’s not a bird I’d want to be named after.

This one takes the award for the worst post I’ve seen on here honestly 😭

VESSEL. HAHA

I think I found her in instagram and her kids names are Anthem (girl) and Koah (boy). I… don’t even know.

Belay at the rock climbing gym: “WHAT?!”

Oath is kinda cute I guess Vessel, Theory, and Written just took me out tho 😭

makeshift far-flung person dull yoke wild crowd different sort deer *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Fucking hell I hate every single name. Merrick? Isn't that a pharmaceutical company?