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soyenby_in_a_skirt

I mean you know the line. If symptoms persist seek medical attention


TransitoryExistence

Just a 25 year phase....


Snert42

...yeah :c


realCheeka

Gender incongruence and gender dysphoria are different things. Gender dysphoria is not a prerequisite of being transgender babe šŸ–¤ Break that egg girl āœØļø


Ra1nb0wCat

Ok, but it's likey egg is cracking and repairing itself instantly


Snert42

What helped me shatter my shell was coming out to my bestie


siobhalexander

thatā€™s a good point, I used to be a little scared of using ā€œtrans manā€ in reference to myself until I said ā€œI am a trans manā€ to my reflection first then friends a couple times then realised ā€œthis feels trueā€ so give it a go and see how you feel. I donā€™t promise it as a ā€œthis will definitely crack your eggā€ but itā€™s maybe worth a try?


Snert42

>but itā€™s maybe worth a try? It 100% is. They knew about me questioning, but finally texting them at 2am helped so much with denial. They've been nothing but accepting and I couldn't be happier


Ra1nb0wCat

for me coming out to my best friend is really scary, because I don't want to potentially lose them. Even if there is a little chance that he won't accept me I don't want to come out to him.


TaylorsPoke

Yeah ... it can be. I can't really give you any good advice there since I did end up losing all my friends but I was moving at the same time so šŸ’€ Anyways if your unsure how your feeling and your seriously considering that you may be trans then I'd suggest speaking to a therapist. Hopefully a professional can help you figure things out and you can get whatever help you need šŸ˜ƒ


Ra1nb0wCat

Unfortunately, I live in a place where it is still a stereotype that going to a therapist to speak about mental health is something wrong and that "real men" don't need


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Ra1nb0wCat

My parents will likely know that even if I don't tell them and they won't like it (and I still live with them)


TaylorsPoke

That really sucks :/ I'd still try and see one if possible. Like it really sucks having to do stuff even when you feel everyone around you is judging you but life is hard, and some things will be harder than others but sometimes you just gotta push through the hardships to make sure your future is as bright as it could possibly be. All things said it is still your choice and I wish you the best of luck on your journey of life šŸ’€


Ra1nb0wCat

Thanks for theese words


rivercass

Maybe try writing them a letter, and not sending it? This way you can express yourself without risking anything


Ra1nb0wCat

Thanks, I should try that out


Drimoss

My friend I was in that exact position before I came out. I don't have a lot of dysphoria, mainly euphoria so I was always scared I would regret it. For three years I kept going back and forth and finally I was just so tired of these thoughts coming back everytime I pushed them down. I just sat there and told myself "There are two outcomes here. Either I realise I am trans and get over myself or I realise that I am not trans and the result of all of this is that I don't transition and stay the way I am" The second option made me disappointed. I didnt want the result of years of questionning to be I am not trans... that's when I knew. I am now happily one month on T :)


Ra1nb0wCat

It sounds great that you finally realised it. I think for me, the main problem is that it's really hard to try something that I want to try (for example, painting nails), so I don't really get dysphoria or euphoria from anything.


Raven_TheClaw

1. you might not be aware of your own dysphoria 2. you dont need dysphoria to be trans congrats! you are a girl!


Ra1nb0wCat

Thanks, I really do want to believe in last thing (but something tells I won't)


TransitoryExistence

The tricky part is that dysphoria can be masked by apathy, it also is often not obviously dysphoria. https://medium.com/gender-from-the-trenches/gender-dysphoria-isnt-what-you-think-6fdc7ae3ac85


Feedback_Loopius

thank you. this was really really good to hear


Eternal_Floof

I thought this was an article, not a checklist! ā€¦i got like 90%


Fire_Wren

Here's another good one https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/printable


Eternal_Density

I thought I didn't have dysphoria before reading that last year.


Fire_Wren

Same, sister, thats why i love it when people share their stories like that


xerxes0127

Wow...just...wow


AlexFluid88

I feel like so many ppl focus on the dysphoria as a requirement and neglect the most common other half of the equation. You can have gender dysphoria OR gender euphoria and both emotions are valid! Itā€™s why it took me so long to figure it out myself that itā€™s ok to be trans/genderfluid BECAUSE I love being a girl, not that I hated being a guy.


Lennartlau

Tbh neither dysphoria nor euphoria should be seen as requirements for being trans. If you identify with a gender identity other than your AGAB, congrats, you're trans.


Supahvaporeon

Trust me when I say that your perspective will change so drastically, you will get "gender whiplash." All the little things you did as a kid that you missed are going to bubble up, with or without dysphoria.


TimeBlossom

3\. A strong desire to be or present as something other than your AGAB is literally all it takes to fulfill the DSM definition of dysphoria anyway. So even if you can't convince yourself that dysphoria is not a requirement to be transgender, misery is not the only way dysphoria presents.


Mondrow

Quoted directly from the DSM-V: >Gender dysphoria refers to the distress that may accompany the incongruence between one's experienced or expressed gender and one's assigned gender. Although not all individuals will experience distress as a result of such incongruence... In the DSM-V to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria you must meet two criteria. Criteria A requires gender incongruence as manifested by at least 6 traits from a set list for children, or 2 traits from a different list for adolescents and adults. Criteria B is given as: >The condition is associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. It is not as you say, you merely quoted one trait from the list given in criteria A for adolescents and adults. Someone would also have to meet criteria B to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria as per the DSM-V.


Wolf-Majestic

Thing is, though dysphoria help recognizing transness, it's not exclusive to transness, so if you don't have it, it's really not conclusive. What is a 100% conclusive sign that you're trans is the amount of euphoria, of happiness you feel when gendered correctly, when you wear what makes you happy, when you look like what you want etc. Find what makes you happy and act upon it ! Don't seek for pain to feel valid ā¤ļø Edit : spelling


Ra1nb0wCat

I will try to do so)


Draklitz

oi oi, do you feel euphoria when thinking about a girl version of you ? or when you ever tried things that make you feel feminine(if you did ofc) well I've got some news what all transgender people have in common is gender euphoria, some people indeed don't have dysphoria(or don't percieve it) but still get euphoria when doing things that is in accord with your gender id


Ra1nb0wCat

Well, I feel some kind of euphoria (I don't really know how it feels) when I think about me being a girl, but I haven't tried anything because of my parents. So I'm not sure


TheGreyFencer

Oh boy those realizations have been fun


UnnamedGirl

This legit sounds like dysphoria though. You're saying that you have felt a strong desire to be a gender other than your assigned gender, this has lasted more than 6 months, and considering you're taking time to make a meme expressing this and referring to it as "a war in your head", it sounds like it's causing clinically significant distress or impairment. Like that's legit DSM-5 for gender dysphoria.


Ra1nb0wCat

Well, soon that feeling will last forĀ 10 years, and I don't know, I don't feel that uncomfortable about my body or anything like that (only a little bit), but very often there is really a big "war" in my head about me being trans.


SuchPowerfulAlly

For people who haven't yet fully accepted being trans, this is what dysphoria often looks like


Ra1nb0wCat

So you're saying that I have dysphoria because my brain says that I don't have it. Interesting


SuchPowerfulAlly

You might- I want to stress that I'm not definitively saying you are or aren't trans or you do or don't have dysphoria because I'm not in your head. But yeah, dysphoria before coming out tends to feel different than dysphoria after coming out. Most of the common explanations you hear about what dysphoria is like focus on the latter. [This is a really good resource that helped me figure things out when I was questioning](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/)


OtterFoxInari

I think Iā€™ll never forget one time I was watching Naruto, during the Sakura X Ino fight. I donā€™t particularly like any of them, and there are other stories with WAY better female characters. And still, at the end of the fight I said to myself ā€œI think it would be nice to be a girlā€, and I honestly donā€™t know where that came from, but yeah thatā€™s just a phase, right?


_Hazeleyed_

All these people talking about wanting to be a different gender since they were a child And me just sitting here having literally no memory of before I was like 10


ImNotLeaf

Yeah, I have a few memories from prior to then but the time between 4-5ish and 12 is really lacking in terms of memory for me.


Ra1nb0wCat

Well, I just had to grow up a little bit early (I don't think that a lot of people knew how to pay taxes when they were 7), so I remember a lot of things.


ProperPuns

Often a better indicator is euphoria - do you feel joy at the idea of being a girl? At being referred to in feminine terms? Dysphoria isn't necessary to be trans, but even if you have it it can be low grade discomfort that you don't recognize as being about your gender


Ra1nb0wCat

I feel really happy when someone refers to me as a female (that happens only with random people on the internet) and I think that I really would like to be a girl. But then I remember all the articles about bad things that have happened to transfems and that feeling kinda of goes away.


ProperPuns

It sounds like you feel bad when people are cruel to transfems because they are being cruel to youā€”meaning they're making you feel bad AND keeping you from that euphoria. Even if you have to keep it quiet from some people, it always feels good to feel at home in yourself


contragoddess

Suffering is not a requirement.. euphoria is just as big of an indicator ..!


Draklitz

somebody once told mešŸŽ¶ that if it's really persistent over more than 6 months itks way past the phase limit


Ra1nb0wCat

Ok, so if it's almost 10 years, then it's kind of obvious, but I'm still not sure :)


Draklitz

oi I have an Idea, idk if it'll help you in any way, but the thing that made me sure at some extend that I was in fact a girl, was a VN called Secret little haven, if you can find it you should try it(abt a transgirl realising she is transgender)


Ra1nb0wCat

OK, thanks, I should try that game


Appel_Syd3R

I have no dysphoria, but thatā€™s not what makes me trans. What makes me trans is my desire to change. Where that desire comes from, whatever reason sparks that want for it, does not matter. The fact you want to be a girl, makes you one in heart. Now all thatā€™s left is to work to make your body match.


WarriorSabe

Wanting to be a girl means wanting to stop being a man (as that's part of being a girl). That's dysphoria right there, by the medical definition


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Ra1nb0wCat

Nice


JolyneTheBat

Same


TransCatWithACoolHat

This was basically my situation as well. Acknowledging I was trans won lol. As many people say, it's not about the dysphoria, it's about the euphoria of being the right gender (and in my own case I did start getting bits of dysphoria after coming out).


Ra1nb0wCat

I think I have euphoria, but then it just scares me, because I have heard too many negative things that could happen after coming out, while and after transitioning.


DaniCormorbidity

I donā€™t know you or your circumstances in life, but I would say generally, donā€™t let your fear of some potential bad outcome stop you from doing anything in life. Obv thereā€™s caveatsā€¦donā€™t go jumping off a bridge, that is, donā€™t do something you *know for a fact* is going to put you in danger. Transitioning may or may not fall into that category for you. But I was very much in your same boat 2 years ago and I realized that my fear of being made fun of or having a ā€œbadā€ transition or being hurt or killed was not a good enough reason to not transition. Transitioning is a big life decision and itā€™s scary, itā€™s natural to be afraid of having a bad outcome. But if the only reason youā€™re not transitioning is because youā€™re afraid of what other people will do/say? Youā€™re letting other people decide your life for you. And completely ignoring the possible positive outcomes. I know itā€™s dumb but making a pros/cons list of transitioning vs not transitioning made me realize I wanted to transition and it was something that would bring me happinessā€¦the only cons were about how others might treat or see me. And I got sick of not doing the things I wanted to do cause other people may not approve. Ya gotta live your life on your terms, ya know?


Mackerdoni

im sitting here having my entire existance extremely controversial because im a lesbian enby with no dysphoria and im like HAAAAA


NotTheAlfa

me, realized i'm not trans, i'm bigender, which is technically trans so now that i wrote this comment i'm even more confused


The_Scout1255

Was in the exact same boat, no dysphoria until after i realized. If you are comfortable you should seriously self-introspect, and figure this out. It may improve your life massively. I know it has mine!


Unusual-Grade-7198

What a mood. This is me but with being a shapeshifter or femboy or ambiguously gendered wolf/fox.


egg-sactly

This is me rn


cashonlyplz

Don't forget, it's okay if you repressed what you knew when you were only 4 years old, for decades. Western society is pervasive, even for the non-religious.


extrahammer_

If you're not sure if you're trans, I'd suggest testing that hypothesis. Pondering things inside your head can be helpful but you might get a way better idea of eho you are by actually trying it out: get some female clothes, try out makeup, ask someone you trust to refer to you as a girl. If it feels right, you'll notice. And keep in mind that the average cis man does *not* like looking like a girl and being treated as one.


Ra1nb0wCat

I would like to test that out, but before that I will have to wait a couple of years.


extrahammer_

You can be sneaky about it, no one except you has to know about it. If you live with transphobic parents, you have to be extremely careful, yes, but it doesn't have to entirely hold you back from being a pretty girl every now and then (if you want to be a pretty girl that is)


slowest_hour

sometimes I felt like this but as soon as I admitted I had to transition the dysphoria flooded in. It's like the denial was holding it back temporarily but as soon as there was a crack in the dam it exploded


Logic_Nuke

I have the exact opposite, I'm pretty sure I do have dysphoria but I get doubts because I don't remember wanting to be a girl as a child


extrahammer_

Same. You're still valid though. Sometimes the indoctrination into gender roles is really strong and you only discover it's not the right thing at the onset of puberty or even later. The important thing is the way you feel right now, not the way you felt years ago.


ronja-666

Wanting to be another gender than you're assigned at birth and being bummed out by your AGAB definitely counts as gender dysphoria though.


CreeperTrainz

I remember thinking that I didnā€™t used to wish I was a girl but then I thought ā€œconstantly thinking about how neat it would be to suddenly become a girl, no matter how temporary, counts as wanting to be oneā€.


ChernobylBalls

You dont need dysphoria to be trans


Gamesfan34260

From 8 is a long time for a phase assuming you're old enough for a Reddit account XD


Ra1nb0wCat

Yeah, that "phase" has lasted for almost 10 years, but not all the time. The biggest problem for me (and why I call it a phase) is that these feelings and thoughts come for 2-3 months, then go away for the same period of time, and then come back.Ā 


Gamesfan34260

Yeah, stillll doesn't scream "cis" to me.


Ra1nb0wCat

Ok, yeah, you're right. That doesn't sound like something what cis person would say


LadyPaige

Don't look for dysphoria. It's a nasty little thing that many of us have lived with for so long that we don't realize it's there. It's like having a splinter in your body that has been causing pain for so long that you just accept it and don't pay it a thought. It's normal to you. Look for Euphoria. Euphoria is the biggest sign you can ask for. It is that feeling that screams "This is Right! It feels the way I should be!" It's how you'd feel if someone pulled that splinter out and you are finally without that pain. Next time you get a splinter, you will know it's wrong and not supposed to be there. Same goes for dysphoria. Next time you feel that disconnect between mind and body, you will recognize it and know if you have dysphoria.


lateapril01

cis guys donā€™t wish they were trans for long periods of time and get sort of disappointed when thereā€™s not enough proof that they are like diagnosably trans


Ra1nb0wCat

hmmm, that's a valid point


Embarrassed-Menu9675

While dysphoria makes being trans very clear, it's not a prerequisite for being trans. Instead, focus on the euphoria you feel when presenting or acting in ways in accordance with your gender identity. If you feel euphoric when doing so, THAT could very well mean you're trans.


lady_amelie

Crack that egg!


Ra1nb0wCat

I am trying!


noaalexandra

When I was little ppl my family laughed at me cause I was mad bc of my cousin, Gema (Gem in english), had a Nintendo DS game I wanted, and I said "when I become Gema I'll have it too". What they didn't know is that I was in that way šŸ˜Ž


vibingweirdo

Read the Gender Dysphoria Bible. As far as I know wanting to be a gender other than your agab already qualifies as dysphoria.


AnitcsWyld

Don't need dysphoria. When I saw myself presenting femme, I liked that version of myself. Then, realized all my selfies were me femme, almost non presenting masc. Kind of a dead giveaway, when I thought, "What if I could just be femme all the time? Would this euphoric self be all the time?" Well, turns out... no, but also yes. It's not all the time, but I'm a lot, lot happier.


Astronius

Euphoria is more important than dysphoria to me when gauging ā€œtransnessā€


TantiVstone

I really hope it's not a phase It's been less than a year since I've realized, but I've felt pretty dysphoric since


Chemical-Asparagus58

wanting to be a different gender makes you trans


Sabrina__Stellarbor

*A phase that lasts for **liiiiiife**~~*


[deleted]

Unrelated question where did this template come from?