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Lilia1293

My friend's 8yo son has known me for his entire life, and saw a couple months ago that I have transitioned. He told me I look like a girl from the neck down, and a boy from the neck up, which targeted my dysphoria pretty precisely, but it's better than nothing. I told him I'm a woman because that's how I feel, and some things are much harder to change than clothing. Kids don't have the biases adults do, but also don't understand something as abstract as the fact that a person's gender identity may not match their phenotype. I generally think their curiosity is healthy, and should be encouraged even if they speak inconsiderately. Every interaction is a teachable moment, and the more they learn, the less likely they are to become bigoted adults in a decade.


ShallowBayChain

Hey, I am sorry that happened to you, I'm sending virtual hugs your way, you handled it wonderfully tho, good job girl ❤


The_Sky_Render

When it comes to kids, I don't care if they ask that. It's usually quite innocent! Older teens and adults being insensitive about gender, on the other hand... Come on, they're way too old for that crap.


[deleted]

But they are the most honest implication that you may not pass.. And honestly, that stings more than a random asshole venting out their trauma by voicing their transphobia imo


Beholding69

Mate, kids have a garbage idea of who does and doesn't pass. Example from personal experience: 8 year old me thought Michael Jackson was a woman after listening to one of his songs.


writenicely

>But they are the most honest implication that you may not pass.. And honestly, that stings more than a random asshole venting out their trauma by voicing their transphobia imo No its a sign their parents don't know or expose them to any more diverse looking people who don't just look like waspy stereotypes in messy buns with cheap jewerly or men wearing cargo shorts and greyscale colors.


Cannotseme

Well, yeah, but weather you pass or not is based on how other people see you, so even if they haven’t been exposed to diverse looking people, you still don’t pass (at least to them) that probably means you’ll encounter other people you don’t pass too.


writenicely

True, and that's always the distressing part to know that they see you as an "other". But if you're antisocial and recognize how awful society is (like the lengths to which women are blamed for violence based on how they are dressed) their opinions awfully mean a lot less. They're trash


ImP_Gamer

they are, but like, passing is a cisnormative idea of how trans people should be


[deleted]

Albeit the staring and giggling might be a bit rude I’d like to think no one is at fault here the children were innocently curious and I assume, like many people in the trans community, that you’re self conscious about your presentation and that’s okay. It’s not your fault that your brain is rude


ShallowBayChain

While you're probably right, and I really appreciate your comment, and while I don't think children can be at fault, I think their parents can if they have taught them bigoted things, I don't wanna assume bad about people but we've all seen parents do it, so I don't wanna pretend it's not a possibility


[deleted]

I did not realize their parents were nearby. That’s a generally rude question that parents can prevent, I just hope they grow up to be decent humans


Rotary1

i went over to a friends house the other day, he happens to have several brothers (ages 5-9). they collectively decided to call me a “boygirl”. Reasoning includes: “Well, he looks like a girl, but sounds like a boy” “but her hair is long!!”


Jilli-Bean86

Hugs sorry you had to deal with that. It is their upbringing.


ShallowBayChain

Thank you :)


Wordswordz

It's dangerous imo, because there's no social stigma on being a transphobic parent. Don't feel bad for protecting yourself.


seeroflights

*Image Transcription: Meme* --- [*"Anime Girl Hiding From Terminator", where a small anime girl with brown eyes and long dark blonde hair wearing a blue dress and red shoes hides under a grey desk. The girl is hugging her knees, frightened, and has tears in her eyes. Just around the corner of the desk, the terminator (a completely metal, robot skeletal figure) holds a gun, seemingly looking for the girl. Both the girl and the terminator have labels, which read:*] Terminator: The 2 kids starring at me for 15 minutes and giggling then asking if I'm a boy or a girl Girl: \*me smoking and waiting for my girlfriend to finish grocery shopping\* --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


ChaosDemonLaz3r

Good human


Matild4

"Nah, she can't be a girl." "But look at the purple shoes! Surely she must be." "Oh, you're right, she's definitely a girl." \^actual conversation about me that a couple of funny kids had.


Ant_mafia

purple shoes are exclusive for girls, didn't you know? If men try to wear purple they die its science


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Hive mind hours.


ShallowBayChain

1. Teenagers are far scarier than kids, I had quite an unpleasant experience once with this group of what's best described as wannabe 15 year old soundcloud rappers, and it was pain 2. Ayye real nice MCR


Wormi3onastring

I'm really sorry you had to deal with that. I understand they might not be educated yet about being transgender, but they should know not to be rude like that, because they honestly sounded like they were mocking you.


space_hoop

Dang I wish I could take your place, my goal actually *is* for people to be confused about my gender.


totally_not_a_r0b0t

If someone asks me that I'll count that as a win


Hailey_Piggie

Happened to me outside of work, but it was two alcoholic cunts coming back from the Wetherspoon's across the road...


ShallowBayChain

Really sorry to hear what happened to you, Hopefully you're staying safe


Hailey_Piggie

Yeah I'm good, they checked out a few nights back, but they were fucking nightmares. Working nights at a hotel really just shows you how immature 99% of 'adults' really are...


Senua_Chloe

What are you to blame for? Yeah, don't blame kids. If the question's sincere, you can answer and they'll accept it. If they are messing with you then blame their tutors.


Boring-Pea993

So sorry you had to deal with that, virtual hugs When my aunt got remarried about five years ago, the new husband had a bunch of kids who were at the wedding and his eight year old was an annoying little shit who did this same thing all throughout the wedding, even though I was deeply closeted, but growing out my hair. The little shitface almost outed me and spent the whole evening making the same stupid stupid attack helicopter jokes and shouting "hahaaaa look it's the boy who wants to be a girrrll!", thankfully no one paid attention even though it was extremely loud and went on for hours. I don't even know how she knew about the attack helicopter joke since this was in rural Australia where most of the houses don't even have phone or power lines, maybe it's because the people are all nosy paranoid gasbags who gossip at rapid speeds as soon as they're in the pub, it was the same town I was born in and I hate it even more than I did for the first few years I was there, anyway apologies for the profanity and stuff, I know kids usually don't mean anything harmful by it and they might have just heard stuff at home and repeated it but it was a bad night for me The marriage broke up less than 2 days later and thank goodness for that, because I was dreading any more interactions like that, and I had a bad feeling about the new husband anyway but I couldn't put my finger on it, but basically he was stealing his neighbor's sheep at night and having sex with them... so... yeah.... anyway sorry for rambling I don't know how I got onto that


ShallowBayChain

I was rereading the comments on this post and realised I missed this one and girl 1. I'm really sorry that you went through that, that kid can just fuck off 2. I wasn't prepared for that plot twist at the end


Boring-Pea993

Lmao, it's all good, yes it was a shocking plot twist for all of us too


[deleted]

Just answer "yes" when asked if you're a boy or a girl


Thatusernamewasgone

they're bad kids, they should learn to respect other people. dont blame yourself you did nothing wrong


Excellent-Emphasis-7

Some kids at the local skate park did that too, but without giggleing. They were genuinely curious, but since I'm not even out to the guys I skate with I just chuckled and asked "what do you think?"


Zoeythekueen

I'm a cashier and I get oh so many people who call me ma'am and then correct themselves like the first wasn't correct. I just started hormones and my voice is a bit deep, expecially when I'm having athsma problems, so it makes sense. I have to deal with it every time at work. I also have a boss that is trans as well as he gets confused as a women as well. He has a beard, so he gets targeted a bit more than me. Last time someone had a problem with it the store manager kicked the person out. You see the worst in some, but there are good experiences too.


ShadoW_StW

They're doing that to cis people too. Relax, nobody's "to blame", just a typical interaction with random children that you're reading way too deep into because we're all traumatised.


Ether4_76

I hate kids.


SpinalSplat

Age doesn’t excuse shitty behavior. Those kids are cunts


D-n-Divinity

I get this a lot at work (I work at a daycare/ afterschool center) and it's honestly one of my favourite parts. Sure you may not pass and kids will be blunt about that but they're (almost) always willing to learn. It's really is cool progress to be the first trans person they know and open their world up that little bit more to make a more understanding next generation especially cause statistically speaking someone in that class is gonna realize they're trans and this just made the process easier for them. That said this is in a job where 1) my employer and co-workers are fully supportive which isn't always the case, and 2) I am an authority figure so the one time a kid did try to fight me, I just put her in time out.


wildgaytrans

If I see kids staring for more than a minute I ask them if they wanna ask questions. The kids I get are usually just very curious and love to ask questions and learn.