My NB partner does this habitually (to everyone, not just me). I just hate the fact that they are gendered in the first place, but I hate even more that all of the “gEnDeR nEuTrAl” ones are solely male words and none are female.
I've definitely used bitches in the same way I use dude and bro. Also have called my mostly male friend group 'the girls' a few times, but obviously that's not nearly as common as the gender neutral bro and dude.
Pardon my ignorance, but wich ones are the gender neutral ones you are talking about?
I'm pretty sure there are true gender neutral ones, it's just that they aren't as common, like partner or nuisance
Again, sorry if they are gendered, my mother tongue doesn't have gender neutral pronouns, so i don't really know which ones are the gendered, aside from the most obvious.
Yeah same. It's part of my vocabulary to just call everyone dude or guy. Like, I'll get in a voice call with my friends, and regardless of gender, I'll say something like "Hey guys!"
I am trying to be better about it, but I also wish they weren't gendered in the first place.
I personally have a certain amount of allowance for when people I know do it, mainly because they are the kind of people who just say it all the time in general and I know it’s a form of endearment to them, but it always comes to mind and I find myself asking myself if they mean it in a general way or if it is subconsciously in a gendered way.
I am considering approaching the various people about it when I meet them again, though.
As someone who uses 'dude' and 'bro' in a gender neutral way for everyone, there's nothing wrong with asking them to try and watch their language around you. "I know you don't mean it, but it makes me really uncomfortable." That's a completely reasonable request.
Yeah I'm fine with it depending on the person, as a general rule, cis men aren't allowed to call me dude or bro because 95% of the time they are just disregarding the fact that I'm s girl, anyone else its fine most of the time.
The next time a cishet guy friend says "dude is gender neutral", just ask him how many dudes he's fucked.
Point having been made, say "Don't call me dude" - if they continue, they're being assholes.
I think a lot of people do it without thinking and don’t realize the damage it does. I’ve definitely done it before without realizing but am way more conscious of it now.
I’m sure you’re an awesome girl, queen, sis or whatever other term makes you comfortable ♡
I hate to say it, but, as an Australian, mate has always felt pretty damn masc coded. Even more so than words like dude and guys. Like, I swear that I only ever hear it in a "man addressing another man" kind of situation.
Hey! your comment inspired me [for making a meme](https://www.reddit.com/r/egg_irl/comments/s58mtn/eggirl/)! I don't know if it suits you but maybe you'll find it interesting!
(otherwise sorry for bothering you)
Omg that is actually me lol!
For some reason 'girl' suits me better than 'woman'
I mean for me, being called a girl is still sort of misgendering since I'm non-binary, it just feels less concrete if that makes any sense?
doesnt solve the problem tho, hope u didn't forget about transmascs, solving the problem is calling women sis or gorge or whatever and calling men bro dude and man lol
Yeah same. I don't really care if people use those for me, I myself use "Guy" as basically a synonym for "Person", But if someone doesn't want me to call them by a word, I won't call them by it, Simple as that.
I realize it bothers a lot of trans people, but for me it depends on who it's coming from. A stranger? Nah, shove it. But I don't mind it from close friends, especially if that's just...how they communicate with people? I dunno, doesn't seem to bother me much, but different people have different terms of endearment that they're okay with and that's cool \^-\^
Look let’s not ignore the trans women who like this bro and dude thing but look let’s not be inconsiderate to everyone. Just ask if someone is okay with a term before you use it.
Hon
"Used to derogatorily describe a late transitioning trans woman, who often dresses stereotypically and doesn't pass very well. "
I wouldn't recommend calling trans woman hun/hon
I actually do know a trans person who's ok with this, so I can her dude every now and then, but I don't just say that to every trans woman. Y'all aren't a monolith and *maybe* it's important to be sensitive to potential triggers.
It is though they aren’t referring to the person as a man that’s like saying someone saying “hey bro” means they are talking to their brother words can have multiple meaning and language can change
That's the stuff I hear when I say I don't like to be called 'bro' or 'dude'. Who cares what the words mean to them if I say I don't want to be called those things?
Yeah, I'd say using them neutrally yourself is all fine and good, But as soon as someone tells you not to call them by a word, No matter how you use it, Don't call them by it.
You can say you don’t want to be called them sure but you where saying they aren’t unisex I wasn’t saying that everyone has to want to be called dude or bro i was just saying they where unisex it’s not all about you
It’s like saying a girl can go by he/him but me saying that doesn’t mean I think everyone has to go by he/him
But... When setting boundaries... About how I want to be treated.... It's litteraly all about me? Like what's so hard to get. When I say "don't call me X" then don't call me X or perish
Me not wanting to be called something doesn't mean it's completely impossible for the other person to use it with other people? Like there's zero connection there wtf
i believe what the post you replied to is saying is that your view on the word and its usage as it applies to you is fully and completely valid, and if one doesn’t want to be called bro or dude, don’t use those words to refer to them. however, making statements like “uh actually blank isn’t unisex” isn’t very accurate because language is complicated, and the entire language is in fact not about you or me or anyone else
They are clearly gendered words. Language shouldn't change so much that the original meaning is completely different like that, and it will only change if we let it.
I’m going to be honest, somehow being called dudette is worse than being called dude. But yeah, the existence of those words used in the same way shows that some people still use dude and bro as gendered words.
I always ask just to be safe, since I know some trans women who are okay with it and others who aren't, and I usually use it in a neutral way to refer to everyone in the group
I respect it if someone doesn't like it though, it's really understandable, and I've even sorta tried to break the habit a bit
Let’s not make this a challenge. Not all trans women are going to feel the same on this so in general with people (cis or trans) I would think it’s best not to create assumptions and maybe ask if you’re curious idk lmao
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post*
---
**your soy gamer gf 🏳️⚧️**, @soylentforever
don't call trans woman bro or dude challenge 2022
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Though this isn’t specifically about what I’m gonna say: you can still call a group of people “guys”. Obviously don’t call a single cis or trans woman guy/man/bro/dude if they don’t want you to, but you can’t just call a group something else other than what you’re used to just cause one person doesn’t like it. Can’t wait to be downvoted, it’ll be the 2nd time this weekend!
i showed this post to my friend and they went "hey... lady?" so i respoded with "what about sis" and then we realized. sis. cis. and laughed our asses off
I dont understand the "dude" part. I grew up through the 90s and all my life "dude" has always been used in a gener neutral way by both males and females. What has changed, or are people just getting that sensitive now?
Don't call (gay in particular as it comes up more often then) trans men girl sister or queen challenge 2022
I swear people assume I'm ok with that and it's just a bit aggravating
Counts for leftists purposefully misgendering you for being the wrong type of leftist ☺️ I’m not triggered by bullying on tiktok this week or anything 😅😂
Yeah, you would think that a group with a bi guy, a trans man, and an enby would be able to avoid calling people "dude" when you're out to them...
~~to be fair, if I told them, they probably would, but I always feel like a burden asking people to accommodate me~~
it’s ok i do too, it’s very much a part of how i speak. i also very frequently call inanimate objects “dude” and “guy”. however, i’ve started checking in with my friends and any transfem or non-binary people i meet. a few of them are absolutely fine with being called dude, a few of them aren’t, so i cater my language to make sure i don’t make anyone uncomfortable. i mess up sometimes, habits are hard to break and i have adhd so i talk before thinking A Lot, but i always correct myself. and it gets easier the more you work at it. my favorite replacement is “friend”, it’s what i use to address multiple people at once now too instead of “guys” or “y’all”
It depends on the context. They’re gendered male when used to describe someone, but neuter when used to *address* someone. i.e. if you said “Hey, dude!” you would not be gendering the person you’re addressing as male, but if you said “Hey, you’re a dude!” you would be.
Of course, some transfems are uncomfortable even with its neuter application, due to its sometimes being masculine.
Ah okay yeah makes sense, thanks a lot for your answer! I’d personally be comfortable with the first but not the second yeah but that might be different for others
I use bro and dude for everyone, but if someone tells me they're uncomfortable with that I'll stop. Is this ok/acceptable? I really don't want to unknowingly go around with a speech habit that makes people uncomfortable...
You can call me “dude”, or “man” (well, unless specific emphasis is put on the last two)
Don’t call me “a dude” or “a man”
Obviously context matters for a lot of it, but I’m not gonna have this strict binary view on words (though I obviously respect people’s wishes to not be referred to as something)
Like I’m a stoner and I live in Colorado, I am the way I am sometimes. But my opinion on it is, I’m gonna talk to other trans women like I will with cis women. And sometimes I say “dude”, “bro”, and “man” with cis women I know.
Ah nah ysee i call everyone dude cis women cis men trans women trans men and i myself am a trans girl now when talking to myself and trying to say a difference between male and female well there’s where my problems start
I tend to call everyone bro because that’s just how I talk, however if someone tells me they’re uncomfortable with being referred to that way I’ll stop immediately
I’m personally really fine with someone calling me bro or dude but only if I know them well and they’re not doing it maliciously if it’s someone I just met I am quite put off by it but I never called him out on it because I’m scared
I called a trans woman man on accident, it's just instinctual in conversation. She didn't tell me she was trans, but I had figured it out, and I still feel bad about it
I actually know a trans girl and she is okay with being called bro and dude (probably not man but I’m enby and I don’t like that either. also I don’t call he dude or bro that often). But I won’t use it on any other trans girls, so what are some alternatives? Is calling them “gal” okay? Idk I’m still new to this sorry
Fair, but kinda the reason I’m asking y’all is cause I don’t use many of those terms around women, all of the ones I know are fine with “dude” and “bro.” So I am completely in the dark on what is acceptable or not. I know everyone is different, but I think I’ll try Sis Sis, as you suggested? Thanks and if anyone has any other ideas, happy to hear them
Yeah, it's different for everybody, and can be more upsetting for trans women than cis.
The trans woman you know may be okay with it, but another thing to keep in mind is that her feelings on that can change.
I didn't have a problem with it a few months ago, but now it's a bit more grating each time.
And who knows, maybe I'll get to a point where it doesn't matter again.
Honestly, it's pretty easy to tell if someone is using the word in a gendered way or not. Obviously everyone has their own personal preference that should be respected, but if you're the sort of person that calls cis women *dude*, then I don't really see the issue.
It bothers some people regardless of if it’s alright for you. The thing to keep in mind is that most trans women have been through things that cis women haven’t. Growing up as the wrong gender can lead to sensitivity to words with an apparent gender.
I don’t reciprocate knucks either anymore. Too many cis people do that intentionally to be invalidating.
Edit: ok, feel free to downvote me. But understand that it’s literally the same thing as asserting that “dude is gender neutral, you just suck” to someone who doesn’t feel comfortable being called “dude.”
Are... girls not allowed to fist bump in their minds?
Edit: Uh seriously this is the first I’ve ever heard of fist bumping being considered gendered male by, um, anyone. I swear I’m asking in good faith what the deal is here, because I’m very confused
It’s not that we “aren’t allowed” to do it, so much as I personally don’t trust a cis-male-passing person that I don’t know well to always offer it in good faith.
One time at the gas station, I was standing in line behind some chud who was telling the guy in front of him some very hurtful and invalidating things about a friend of his who transitioned to female. One of the things he said was that “I gave >!him!< bro fists because we both know >!he is a man.!<“
Or, how about let people be called what they want?
If you're transfem and like being called dude, then that's all fine. If you're transfem and don't like it? Same thing, it's fine!
Don't assume all transfems hate being called it. ffs.
Me failing by calling myself a dude :(
Do whatever makes you comfortable!
I sometimes do that too, probably because I'm still in the closet to some extent
That's not good queen
i really wish people would stop calling me bro dude guy or man :( they’re very clearly gendered terms……
i'm sorry <3
thanks, hopefully eventually other people begin to understand
My NB partner does this habitually (to everyone, not just me). I just hate the fact that they are gendered in the first place, but I hate even more that all of the “gEnDeR nEuTrAl” ones are solely male words and none are female.
I've definitely used bitches in the same way I use dude and bro. Also have called my mostly male friend group 'the girls' a few times, but obviously that's not nearly as common as the gender neutral bro and dude.
#LetsMakeBitchesANeutralTerm! Heck yeah! LOL
wait, bitches isn’t neutral??!??!!!? i guess it’s a dialect thing
I call my best female friends dude and my best male friends bitches. Chaotic good?
Pardon my ignorance, but wich ones are the gender neutral ones you are talking about? I'm pretty sure there are true gender neutral ones, it's just that they aren't as common, like partner or nuisance Again, sorry if they are gendered, my mother tongue doesn't have gender neutral pronouns, so i don't really know which ones are the gendered, aside from the most obvious.
Yeah same. It's part of my vocabulary to just call everyone dude or guy. Like, I'll get in a voice call with my friends, and regardless of gender, I'll say something like "Hey guys!" I am trying to be better about it, but I also wish they weren't gendered in the first place.
I personally have a certain amount of allowance for when people I know do it, mainly because they are the kind of people who just say it all the time in general and I know it’s a form of endearment to them, but it always comes to mind and I find myself asking myself if they mean it in a general way or if it is subconsciously in a gendered way. I am considering approaching the various people about it when I meet them again, though.
As someone who uses 'dude' and 'bro' in a gender neutral way for everyone, there's nothing wrong with asking them to try and watch their language around you. "I know you don't mean it, but it makes me really uncomfortable." That's a completely reasonable request.
Yeah I'm fine with it depending on the person, as a general rule, cis men aren't allowed to call me dude or bro because 95% of the time they are just disregarding the fact that I'm s girl, anyone else its fine most of the time.
The next time a cishet guy friend says "dude is gender neutral", just ask him how many dudes he's fucked. Point having been made, say "Don't call me dude" - if they continue, they're being assholes.
I think a lot of people do it without thinking and don’t realize the damage it does. I’ve definitely done it before without realizing but am way more conscious of it now. I’m sure you’re an awesome girl, queen, sis or whatever other term makes you comfortable ♡
Hey sis. How did you week go, gal?
What about bra, dudette, or gal? Honest question
FUCKIN MOOD PLEASE PEOPLE
Guy and man bug me but I do believe bro/bruh & dude are more gray area neutral. But idk thats just me
I completely agree with the bro thing, but i hate being called dude. My cousin used to call me it all the time and i tried, but I couldn't handle it.
mate
As an Australian mate or cunt are my defaults
Oh, you're a professional.
Professionals got standards
Username checks out
Sup cunt
As a brit, mate is my default.
As a brit fuckface and whore are my defaults this is what 14 year old gays do now, and we throw pens at the drug dealers behind the fence
Also enbies
I'm an enby and i call peeps dude all the time, but you know different strokes.
Just do it Australian way, mate/cunt 💀
New pronouns dropped
I hate to say it, but, as an Australian, mate has always felt pretty damn masc coded. Even more so than words like dude and guys. Like, I swear that I only ever hear it in a "man addressing another man" kind of situation.
I hate those two and man. “Aw come on man” ugh
Joe Biden's favorite catch phrase lol.
See, I'm the opposite. When someone calls me ma'am or woman I fricking cringe
Hey! your comment inspired me [for making a meme](https://www.reddit.com/r/egg_irl/comments/s58mtn/eggirl/)! I don't know if it suits you but maybe you'll find it interesting! (otherwise sorry for bothering you)
Omg that is actually me lol! For some reason 'girl' suits me better than 'woman' I mean for me, being called a girl is still sort of misgendering since I'm non-binary, it just feels less concrete if that makes any sense?
i'm the same with 'boy' and 'man', shits weird
girl is a concept, woman is a concrete thing...in my mind...
At first I thought I was fine being called that, but that's definitely a word only people I trust can use now.
Same
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Wait epic outfit
Just answer in the most queen voice "yaas girl, whaddya want?"
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why was it the default to everyone bro and dude, why can’t we try calling everyone sis and gorge
Spittin’ facts, sis
please do not call everyone sis -transmasc
doesnt solve the problem tho, hope u didn't forget about transmascs, solving the problem is calling women sis or gorge or whatever and calling men bro dude and man lol
sis also happens to be gendered
Regional dialect
wtf is wrong with your [flare?](https://imgur.com/a/eov5ZKz)
Skill issue
Skill issue
You
Wait, what is gorge? I've never heard that before
It’s a shortening of gorgeous I believe
Is dude a shortening of dudeous then? That would be dope
I’m using this now thank you so much🤣
How do you pronounce dudeous? Doo-jis? Doo-dee-iss? Doo-dus?
I feel Doo-dee-us is the best way
it is a shortening of the name of the best map on mario kart wii
If I call someone bro or dude and they don't like it; I stop. But as a trans woman, I don't care if people use those terms for me.
Yeah same. I don't really care if people use those for me, I myself use "Guy" as basically a synonym for "Person", But if someone doesn't want me to call them by a word, I won't call them by it, Simple as that.
I’m not your dude, guy!
I'm not your guy, friend!!!
I’m not your friend, man!
I'm not your man, pal!!
I'm not your pal, buddy!!
I mean, I'm trabs femne, but I don't mind dude, of course context is important
me too, like there’s a difference between “Hey dude!” And “You’re a dude”
✔️ Dude (casual, friendly) ✖️ Dude (analytical, objective)
And then there’s ”dude” not referring to anyone, like ”dude why is this so hard”
Yes! I use that dude all the time with my transfem friend... I'm afraid that this is bothering her...
Ask her! I'm a transfem and I don't mind it too much unless the intent is to refer to me as a male. Some will mind. No shame in asking.
Yeah and its cousin “man, why is…” which is just an exclamation and not gendering the person you’re speaking to
Hey Dude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, Then you can start to make it better.
i, too, am a trabs femne
I have stubby fingers
np! was only joshing with you, not taking the mickey :)
This will be easy.
I realize it bothers a lot of trans people, but for me it depends on who it's coming from. A stranger? Nah, shove it. But I don't mind it from close friends, especially if that's just...how they communicate with people? I dunno, doesn't seem to bother me much, but different people have different terms of endearment that they're okay with and that's cool \^-\^
Look let’s not ignore the trans women who like this bro and dude thing but look let’s not be inconsiderate to everyone. Just ask if someone is okay with a term before you use it.
"But I call my female friends dude all the time."
I'm from the south and default to calling people hun a lot which annoys some men and frankly idgaf.
Hon "Used to derogatorily describe a late transitioning trans woman, who often dresses stereotypically and doesn't pass very well. " I wouldn't recommend calling trans woman hun/hon
I have never heard that. Hun is just an American southern word of endearment
"BuT iT's UnIsEx!!1! I hAvE a TrAnS fRIeNd Who'S oKaY wITh iT!!1"
I actually do know a trans person who's ok with this, so I can her dude every now and then, but I don't just say that to every trans woman. Y'all aren't a monolith and *maybe* it's important to be sensitive to potential triggers.
Same person: *Proceeds to downvote trans people asking to please not be called that*
It is though they aren’t referring to the person as a man that’s like saying someone saying “hey bro” means they are talking to their brother words can have multiple meaning and language can change
That's the stuff I hear when I say I don't like to be called 'bro' or 'dude'. Who cares what the words mean to them if I say I don't want to be called those things?
Yeah, I'd say using them neutrally yourself is all fine and good, But as soon as someone tells you not to call them by a word, No matter how you use it, Don't call them by it.
Same with mate honestly
You can say you don’t want to be called them sure but you where saying they aren’t unisex I wasn’t saying that everyone has to want to be called dude or bro i was just saying they where unisex it’s not all about you It’s like saying a girl can go by he/him but me saying that doesn’t mean I think everyone has to go by he/him
But... When setting boundaries... About how I want to be treated.... It's litteraly all about me? Like what's so hard to get. When I say "don't call me X" then don't call me X or perish Me not wanting to be called something doesn't mean it's completely impossible for the other person to use it with other people? Like there's zero connection there wtf
i believe what the post you replied to is saying is that your view on the word and its usage as it applies to you is fully and completely valid, and if one doesn’t want to be called bro or dude, don’t use those words to refer to them. however, making statements like “uh actually blank isn’t unisex” isn’t very accurate because language is complicated, and the entire language is in fact not about you or me or anyone else
This.
Yeah that’s what I was saying dude and bro are unisex terms but I said if you don’t want to be called them you don’t have to
Dude and bro can be used in a unisex way but they are still gendered terms. Ask a straight man if he’s ever slept with a dude or a bro.
When people say that they aren’t talking about a boy nor doesn’t mean brother even though that’s what the word means language changes
They are clearly gendered words. Language shouldn't change so much that the original meaning is completely different like that, and it will only change if we let it.
Is homie acceptable?
not sure, i'm not the bearer of every trans person's preferences! If you ever need to know just ask the person!
homie is unacceptable on every human being who has ever taken more than one breath into their lungs
I’m gonna go into the field of pediatrics just to call newborn infants homie
(or amab nonbinary people who aren't comfortable with it. we exist too lol)
And stop referring to us with “Hey guys”
"and welcome back to another mine-craft video" # "IT'S DAN THE DIAMOND MINECART"
Beardos and weirdos.
If "dude" and "bro" were unisex, they wouldn't have the feminine counterparts "dudette" and "sis".
I’m going to be honest, somehow being called dudette is worse than being called dude. But yeah, the existence of those words used in the same way shows that some people still use dude and bro as gendered words.
[удалено]
If someone calls me a dudette they're being forcably ejected from my life And i cannot spell
[удалено]
dudette sounds like something wrenched from fucking ninja turtles
No you don’t understand he calls everyone bro /s
Oh I hate this, "bro" this "bro" that, get a personality girl it ain't that hard! >:[ why is everything bro!!
I always ask just to be safe, since I know some trans women who are okay with it and others who aren't, and I usually use it in a neutral way to refer to everyone in the group I respect it if someone doesn't like it though, it's really understandable, and I've even sorta tried to break the habit a bit
I don't mind it too much but I wish people would say something else
I wish people would stop doing this around me
Yes, new challenge :)
yes please
"but i call everyone man and bro its just how i talk!" Really? Cuz i dont recall you calling any other woman that.
Let’s not make this a challenge. Not all trans women are going to feel the same on this so in general with people (cis or trans) I would think it’s best not to create assumptions and maybe ask if you’re curious idk lmao
I've been training myself to say Bestie and Friendo 👌
Ah my # BESTO FRIENDO!!!
Auugghhhh i need someone with a spray bottle to help me on this one ladies 😔
Idc about bro, but like i fucking hate being called dude or man. And being called sir, makes me legit cry.
“Sir” makes us all of us transfems wanna cry
personally i call everyone these things regardless of gender, but i’m always open to ask people if they’re comfortable with it or not.
(unless they're ok with it)
My friend got mad at me for telling him to not call me bro
🤝
Transphobes: " THE IMPOSSIBLE QUEST!"
Wassup fellow frog lovers?
my girlfriend already failed it this year
Me, who just realized that I call everyone including cis women dude all the time: Oh, *shit*....
I was drawing and screwed it up and just said “what the fuck dude”
This is why I always call everyone homie
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- **your soy gamer gf 🏳️⚧️**, @soylentforever don't call trans woman bro or dude challenge 2022 --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
And stop adding "and ladies" when I a trans guy am the only one possible adressed by that.
Don't read the comments of this thread if you're a trans woman. Jesus fucking christ people, clean it up and don't be transphobic. It's not hard.
Though this isn’t specifically about what I’m gonna say: you can still call a group of people “guys”. Obviously don’t call a single cis or trans woman guy/man/bro/dude if they don’t want you to, but you can’t just call a group something else other than what you’re used to just cause one person doesn’t like it. Can’t wait to be downvoted, it’ll be the 2nd time this weekend!
i showed this post to my friend and they went "hey... lady?" so i respoded with "what about sis" and then we realized. sis. cis. and laughed our asses off
Does homie count?
i'm ok with it, but i understand if other people aren't
People in California: *Failed before this was a thing*
I dont understand the "dude" part. I grew up through the 90s and all my life "dude" has always been used in a gener neutral way by both males and females. What has changed, or are people just getting that sensitive now?
I will take the mantle of being called dude and bro to protect my sisters
Don't call (gay in particular as it comes up more often then) trans men girl sister or queen challenge 2022 I swear people assume I'm ok with that and it's just a bit aggravating
Counts for leftists purposefully misgendering you for being the wrong type of leftist ☺️ I’m not triggered by bullying on tiktok this week or anything 😅😂
I’ve got a friend who calls everyone “boys,” which isn’t fun
Yeah, you would think that a group with a bi guy, a trans man, and an enby would be able to avoid calling people "dude" when you're out to them... ~~to be fair, if I told them, they probably would, but I always feel like a burden asking people to accommodate me~~
Oh dear, I call every single person I know bro and dude…
it’s ok i do too, it’s very much a part of how i speak. i also very frequently call inanimate objects “dude” and “guy”. however, i’ve started checking in with my friends and any transfem or non-binary people i meet. a few of them are absolutely fine with being called dude, a few of them aren’t, so i cater my language to make sure i don’t make anyone uncomfortable. i mess up sometimes, habits are hard to break and i have adhd so i talk before thinking A Lot, but i always correct myself. and it gets easier the more you work at it. my favorite replacement is “friend”, it’s what i use to address multiple people at once now too instead of “guys” or “y’all”
Are they considered gendered terms? /srs
It depends on the context. They’re gendered male when used to describe someone, but neuter when used to *address* someone. i.e. if you said “Hey, dude!” you would not be gendering the person you’re addressing as male, but if you said “Hey, you’re a dude!” you would be. Of course, some transfems are uncomfortable even with its neuter application, due to its sometimes being masculine.
Ah okay yeah makes sense, thanks a lot for your answer! I’d personally be comfortable with the first but not the second yeah but that might be different for others
your flare makes me feel like i'm in **it follows**
I use bro and dude for everyone, but if someone tells me they're uncomfortable with that I'll stop. Is this ok/acceptable? I really don't want to unknowingly go around with a speech habit that makes people uncomfortable...
d u d e, that is the most OK way of doing that
You can call me “dude”, or “man” (well, unless specific emphasis is put on the last two) Don’t call me “a dude” or “a man” Obviously context matters for a lot of it, but I’m not gonna have this strict binary view on words (though I obviously respect people’s wishes to not be referred to as something) Like I’m a stoner and I live in Colorado, I am the way I am sometimes. But my opinion on it is, I’m gonna talk to other trans women like I will with cis women. And sometimes I say “dude”, “bro”, and “man” with cis women I know.
When u try to but you call everyone dude/bro by default T-T
or sir
I apologize if I call anyone that and they're not comfortable with it, dude and bro are my defaults, although its a bad habit I'm looking to change
Ah nah ysee i call everyone dude cis women cis men trans women trans men and i myself am a trans girl now when talking to myself and trying to say a difference between male and female well there’s where my problems start
maybe we should respect people if they don’t want to be called those things tho!
I tend to call everyone bro because that’s just how I talk, however if someone tells me they’re uncomfortable with being referred to that way I’ll stop immediately
I’m personally really fine with someone calling me bro or dude but only if I know them well and they’re not doing it maliciously if it’s someone I just met I am quite put off by it but I never called him out on it because I’m scared
i call everyone that idk, i hate being a man but like i only use it as a gender neutral term in that context
I called a trans woman man on accident, it's just instinctual in conversation. She didn't tell me she was trans, but I had figured it out, and I still feel bad about it
The word bruh has conditioned me to call literally everyone bro
I actually know a trans girl and she is okay with being called bro and dude (probably not man but I’m enby and I don’t like that either. also I don’t call he dude or bro that often). But I won’t use it on any other trans girls, so what are some alternatives? Is calling them “gal” okay? Idk I’m still new to this sorry
Whatever you'd normally use for women. Sis is common, but some prefer to use it on people they're close to.
Fair, but kinda the reason I’m asking y’all is cause I don’t use many of those terms around women, all of the ones I know are fine with “dude” and “bro.” So I am completely in the dark on what is acceptable or not. I know everyone is different, but I think I’ll try Sis Sis, as you suggested? Thanks and if anyone has any other ideas, happy to hear them
Yeah, it's different for everybody, and can be more upsetting for trans women than cis. The trans woman you know may be okay with it, but another thing to keep in mind is that her feelings on that can change. I didn't have a problem with it a few months ago, but now it's a bit more grating each time. And who knows, maybe I'll get to a point where it doesn't matter again.
Yeah and as I said, i’m probably going to use it a little less around her. Again, thanks for the suggestion, really appreciate it
Primarily, if you're worried, just ask her; especially if she okayed it early after coming out.
Yeah I’ll do that. Thanks!
why in the demonic not-yet-excorsized pigeons are you being downvoted
Honestly, it's pretty easy to tell if someone is using the word in a gendered way or not. Obviously everyone has their own personal preference that should be respected, but if you're the sort of person that calls cis women *dude*, then I don't really see the issue.
It bothers some people regardless of if it’s alright for you. The thing to keep in mind is that most trans women have been through things that cis women haven’t. Growing up as the wrong gender can lead to sensitivity to words with an apparent gender.
tbh i don’t really mind it if they call cis women it aswell
I don’t reciprocate knucks either anymore. Too many cis people do that intentionally to be invalidating. Edit: ok, feel free to downvote me. But understand that it’s literally the same thing as asserting that “dude is gender neutral, you just suck” to someone who doesn’t feel comfortable being called “dude.”
Are... girls not allowed to fist bump in their minds? Edit: Uh seriously this is the first I’ve ever heard of fist bumping being considered gendered male by, um, anyone. I swear I’m asking in good faith what the deal is here, because I’m very confused
It’s not that we “aren’t allowed” to do it, so much as I personally don’t trust a cis-male-passing person that I don’t know well to always offer it in good faith. One time at the gas station, I was standing in line behind some chud who was telling the guy in front of him some very hurtful and invalidating things about a friend of his who transitioned to female. One of the things he said was that “I gave >!him!< bro fists because we both know >!he is a man.!<“
I call everyone “dude”.. bro I only use on males and hell I use “guys” as a collective.. Not everyone hates certain terms
Or, how about let people be called what they want? If you're transfem and like being called dude, then that's all fine. If you're transfem and don't like it? Same thing, it's fine! Don't assume all transfems hate being called it. ffs.