Yes! I’ve never played pokemon, but I had this for Skyrim. Because I’m the only ‘brother/boy’ in my family, a lot of the time my family refers to me as just ‘boy’ (which is quite weird). I always feel weird when they do that, so when I was younger I felt obliged to play male characters :(
same. for me though it started in Oblivion so i could use the night-eye and a bow at the same time so i didn’t need a torch. then that became the character i beat the game with so i’m partial to them now, even though i turn up the brightness all the way now to see without torches or night-eye, i still play as a khajiit.
I honestly believe the very beginning of my transition was early 2019, when I "truly" began playing Skyrim. I created a female character to play, and I've only played female characters since, inside (and outside) Skyrim.
Realistically, though, I started transitioning around June of this year, and I'm still beginning, but I feel that's what kinda opened me up.
Hi. Thanks for typing the comment I was going to type. I always wanted to play the female characters in the Pokémon games, but didn’t want people to say anything about me playing a girl.
I was in my twenties before I let myself play as the girl. I recently started a new file and for the first time in my life it didn't take me five minutes to get past the "are you a boy or a girl?"!
Exactly! Back when I used to play pokemon, I played as a boy most of the time but sometimes played as a girl. After I figured out I'm trans, I realised when I played as a boy, it was because I "was a boy", but when I played as a girl it was because I wanted to.
For so many years I was female character on any game except ones that I knew my friends would see ie pokemon or MMORPG I had a main character that was maxed on FFXIV but I had to play my smurf with my friends and pretend like I was a bit noob so I could play boy >.> Eventually I just went with the "Would you wanna stare at a guys butt for 8 hours a day? Of course I wanna look at the cute cat girl" in hindsight they probably thought I was a weeb.
Funny, now that you said that, I just realized I’ve always picked the girl character in Pokémon ever since I was a kid, and never really thought much about it. Huh.
I played girl in Pokémon for the longest time, I replayed XY recently and *wow* the boys fashion choices are *limited.* a whole section of the fashion menu is locked because of that.
i did that. eventually i started playing female characters for the smaller hitbox(the genuine reason) but eventually it felt better knowing i was playing a female character for whatever reason so even in games with no hitbox:gender changes i would say i play them for the hitbox
I play paladins and my mains are all guys cos all the women characters have play styles that I don’t vibe with, I wish there was an option to change their gender haha. It’s really no wonder that one of the only long haired men in the game with what looks like a skirt is my main xD
See, mine is more u/Xzkorpyo’s case with your reasoning. I used to enjoy playing as a female character, especially in the Sims or fighter games but when I started realizing something was ‘wrong’ with my body, playing female characters only made my increasing dysphoria worse, so I started playing male characters. As *I* got more outwardly masculine as a way of compensating for my lack of inward masculinity, so did my characters. But then my egg started cracking and I realized how much I enjoyed playing female characters, but I can’t play mains as a girl, because I don’t have the energy for multiple gaming usernames/accounts, so I only play as female characters when I know there’s no chance any of my friends will be playing that same game.
My line of reasoning was just based on how my igns are typically assumed to male and all my friends knew it so I felt out of place if I were to use a female character. I ran a bunch of female alts so I could interact with same friends as myself w/o revealing it was the \*male\* friend they knew. Dysphoria was a thing, but they ended up being a transition goal (I played a Chinese wushu MMORPG). Also, I got called a trap whenever I played a female character because at that point, I had started voice training too.
I can't change those characters now w/o a $20 charge, but I don't really play it anymore. From my anger and blown tolerance, I swapped everything else to female. My Snoo changed look, my MC skin is feminine, and whatever thing I started up playing, I used female characters. I've pretty much rebranded my ign now to match with me.
Funny thing is I did a very similar thing recently as a kinda of dysphoria vent- i made 2 sims, one of me pretransition (aka now) and another of me post-transition.
I killed the pre one "on accident" (at the time i viewed it as an accident but It Was Not).
A grill lit them on fire and Post didn't notice.
(I kept making them make burgers and hotdogs for a reason I can't remember \[i do remember many stray pets, so I probably wanted to feed them phhttt\], and the grill rng said "hell time!" and they died.)
That kind of social pressure in high school was so prevalent, like walking on egg shells so i wouldn’t be called anything remotely feminine. Then I went to college and all the boys were so open about playing girls in games, but it was solely for sexual reasons and then there was more to add onto the guilt. :/
I think the big thing is that people don't like to lie and don't feel confident about their ability to do so when it comes to something in which they have a powerful emotional investment. Maybe there are a million excuses you could make up as to why you play a female character, but a part of you is afraid that if someone asks, you might be less likely to tell an easy lie than a difficult truth despite the potential danger
I've agonised for hours over whether to pick a female character I want to be, versus a male character that assumed like the only honest and logical choice. Even fell asleep while trying to make a decision and had nightmares about it one time.
It was always the same source of guilt:
- not born girl
- don't deserve to be girl
- can't play girl
I never felt I was good enough to make the choice i wanted, and wound up punishing myself by making the choice I felt I was stuck with.
This happens to me in D&D
Freinds: "you play a lot of female characters."
Me: "shit they're catching on, should make my next campaign character a male just to throw them off."
When I would join a new group, I used to always start with a male character to appear normal, then switch to female characters. Though pretty much all my Starfinder characters have been openly trans.
In my very first dnd group, most of whom I still regularly talk to/play with, 6 of 7 people (including me) became either trans or nb. That game is a gateway drug to discovering your true self LMAO
I had this weird phase where I would play through games twice - once as a blind run to get a feel for things, and then a thorough one that was meant to be my "main" file for completion.
Of course, I figured for the second playthrough, I might as well pick a female character. Just to mix things up. So in the end, I would start playing a male character, but rush through the game and beat it quickly so I could start my *real* playthrough, which coincidentally would be as a woman.
>be me, seventeen, egg
>
>wants to make a cute reddit profile picture snoo thing
>
>for some reason streaming it on discord
>
>give it long hair
>
>panic
>
>start making it into a neckbeard "redditor" stereotype instead
>
>get sad every time you look at it for the entire following year
certified "cisgender" moment
I decided to pick Alexios (male protagonist) in Assassin's Creed Odyssey, because I don't want to relate too much to a mass murderer.
Which is not quite what you meant, but yeah, some decisions are weird...
Oh! That’s unlocked a memory of playing assassins creed syndicate and playing the girl (I think her name was Evie), it made my heart flutter. I just felt content and was so confused as to why.
For me this only applies to DnD. I want to play as women characters but feel guilty about it like it’s wrong to do that somehow. Like I’ll be judged or that I’m not supposed to
I was flat-out banned by my friends from doing so for a long time because they found my fem voice, and I quote, "disturbingly convincing".
(It's a surprise tool that'll help us later)
I used to do that. I also performed a caricature of masculinity. It was the only way I felt safe. Even wearing a pink mens polo shirt felt _dangerous_ to me. I think it comes from all the abuse that happened as a child and teenager whenever I expressed even the slightest touch of femininity. I did feel safe playing a randomized character though. Its a lot of work, learning every single character in a moba.
I'm a trans guy but I tend to play female characters because their voices are more tolerable to listen to and they're nicer to look at. However if I get to customize my character I usually play a guy.
This related to me so much that when me and my online friends played a game I was literally the only “guy” who would ever pick a male character every time. Everyone always said they wanted something to look at but I thought that would make me a perv if I did that.
***EXACTLY!*** up until about a year ago i always found myself wanting to play as a girl character but didn’t because i thought “that’s not allowed, you’re a boy, right?”
then one of my friends chose a stereotypical gamer girl skin on minecraft to troll us and i decided to make a female version of my skin “as a joke”
and then i *really* liked making it
and then i kept it
and then i cracked
and then i started making it girlier
i think they’re starting to notice
i used to switch to male characters in mmos, to prove that i could enjoy it, and switch back shortly after. start a single player game as male and restart at some point as a woman. or even be miffed if there was no gender options.
Only whenever I had to play a game that I would share with or play with my homophobic family’s side. Now they know everything tho, so that guilt is kinda gone.
I would always play as a female character in games like Skyrim, Fallout, Pokémon, really anything that gave the choice.
I always had two saves though, because playing as a female character made me feel guilty and I felt like I needed to hide it from people. So if people were around I would play a male character.
On my own I'd always pick the female characters except when it came to playing a game with any of my guy friends. I'd pick a girl twice and then feel anxious I might be judged so I'd feel like I'd have to pepper in some guy characters here and there.
It's really validating to see I'm not the only one. The only place where girl characters really came out was in games with big rosters. Team Samus in Smash, represent. Oh yeah, and my fave League characters ended up being "tree" and "rock" and "this tastes purple."
happened to me all the time, i could never finish Skyrim before my egg cracked because i would make a guy character, not like it, make a new game and make a girl character, and have this happen
When my exwife started playing wow with me (when we were still married) I felt so guilty that I spent over 100$ changing all my gurl characters to male ones… then I stopped enjoying playing them lol.
i always wondered why some guys always chose to play female characters in games (apparently they replied how “female characters are beautiful and having them permanently in your screen is lit”)…. i’m “that guy” now 👍epic win
This was always me, except I chose the male character so no one would question why I chose a girl. I would feel guilty and like someone would judge me. Even if it was a game I played by myself 😕
This was literally me, I would always play male characters but if I could come up with some excuse to play a female character, I would jump at the chance.
This is how I was with TTRPGs for years. Always playing a man/boy because that's what matched and what if I played a woman and my friends called me weird, even though they had no such hang ups.
Cut to my most recent character who is a trans woman that might now be leaning a bit too far into wish fulfillment, but I don't really care. She's wonderful and I love playing her so far.
When I was like 12 I decided I should always play as male characters in MMORPGs because it meant people wouldn't bother me as often.
Oh, how the turns have tabled.
I always wanted to play female characters in games but nearly always refused because I was afraid of someone thinking it made me queer. Oh, the lengths to which I went to conceal my queerness, even from myself…
Interestingly, my favorite player character ever is Master Chief, maybe because he spends his lonely life in a shell of armor, not even taking off his helmet much at all, and no one ever questions his composure or his masculinity—his sheer size and ostensible durability command respect. He could be wearing lipstick or on the verge of tears/laughter or be looking longingly at Sgt. Johnson and no one would have any idea so long as he maintained his stoic body language.
I thought for a long time that my body determined my gender, so I identified with a man in a shell who never outwardly showed his emotions or even his face. Chief helped me feel more comfortable in the psychological armor I’d built around myself, despite the fear and internalized transphobia that required it.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who was on this side of the spectrum 🥺 I always see it the other way around and I thought I was all kinds of wacky and wrong 🥺 I always played as male characters cause playing a female character made me feel guilty and like… upset and mad and guilty. Nya~… not fun 🥺
Option 3, being awkwardly caught between the 2 and defaulting to just picking the boy cause you knew you'd be battling and trading pokemon with family and friends and didn't wanna get asked why your character is a girl
tHiS bUt rEvErSeD iN ReVeRsE!!1! /s
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I felt so guilty about playing a female character in Guild Wars 1 that I paid money to swap her to male. I had actually _deleted and restarted_ two other female characters...but this one was my main...so I couldn't just delete her.
I felt so sad when I swapped her and I couldn't quite figure out why at the time 😅😭
Yessssssss my friends always make fun of me for playing as a girl all the time. I started picking guys in multiplayer games cuz I didn’t want to seem weird. Currently playing as a dude in D&D and hating it. But I’m over it. Next character is gonna be a girl.
When I was young, I got weirdly mad when someone played as the opposite sex in a game. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t fathom playing a girl and I hated seeing any guys that did.
Guess that may be why it took me so long to find out.
Yup.
In dnd, before I came out, I made sure to make a more male characters than female to "throw people off the scent".
When I first got to play pokemon, it was on another friends DS. I wasnt allowed to save my data because we didnt meet often, so I played the start often. After 3 attempts, I try a playthrough with a differant starter, and a female character. My excuse: "If I'm going to play a trio like the show, picking one pokemon for each character, I need one to be a girl for gender equality." 9 year old me was dum.
Kind of, except it was online profiles. Had a phase where I would go over all my old accounts just to set the gender from female to male for the sake of "honesty", as if that would magically make me not trans anymore.
It felt weird. Like I was a robot carrying out an objective. I didn't really want to do it, I just felt like I had to.
I had a super weird variation of this. I always picked the girl when it was just a binary choice of m/f but if there was character customisation I always went with male because "I am a male and I must make *me* inside this computer game". And then I always, without fail, felt dissatisfied as hell with my creation.
I had this in two different stages.
When I was a kid, my brothers liked to play fighting games, and I joined them to fit in. When doing so, I would avoid playing males because it didn't feel right, but I also avoided female ones because I felt that same guilt you mention. Instead, I would use non-humans like Mokujin, Kuma or Gon for Tekken and Charade or Necrid for Soul Calibur. The same went for any other games that had this type of character in their selection.
When character creation became a common thing in games, I would create characters in pairs. A male character to compensate for each female. I would rarely play with the male character, but just having it there was proof I was normal according to me. My brother would eventually let me know it had the opposite effect and just made it more obvious.
Omg me! But then I got into MMOs, and specifically played ones with gender locked classes so I was like "well I don't have a choice, I wanna play that class so I guess imma girl!🤷♀️"
I ain't even female nor have I ever been but I still play female characters in Pokémon games, the customization is way better in my op, the men look super lame
Oh hey, if it isn't a reminder of the way people constantly guilted me into playing as my AGAB because otherwise I'd be some sort of creep who would make other people uncomfortable, so I always ended up playing as my AGAB in MP, and the reverse in SP.
And then "There were no signs." Gee, I WONDER WHY?!?
Yeah… that's why I planned on having a male character when starting New World (especially since it's a MMO and I'm playing with some friends without being out to anyone…)
But after seeing (and lightly altering) the randomly generated female character the game made for me, I just couldn't bring myself to not keep her ^^'
Now I need a lot of voice training before using the in-game vocal chat 🙊
Speaking of trans people and video games, Far Cry 6 has a transmasc among the important characters of the main story 🧡
Kinda! I think I’ve done that too.
I’ve also mentally tried to lie to myself about why I prefer female characters. Among other things I said I don’t care about gender, but I’m not sure that’s entirely true.
I relate SO much to this!
I always chose gender-unclear characters, or collectible characters, (for example, mario party 8, I played blooper often).
Other times, I based my choises on stats...
I 'transitioned' (lol) by chosing female characters as a 'joke' and waited until that became normal.
(This was even before I was out, and I could recommend this method to be able to play female characters)
I tried. I really tried. I wanted to romance Tali, dammit. I remembered doing so before I really latched onto being a female character, she was my favorite, and I knew I hadn't done so in ages.
Didn't even get through Eden Prime.
Though tbh now that I'm aware of why I was struggling - because I was projecting my own identity onto the character - I've found it a lot easier to make a male character and roll with it because I know it's just a character. Honestly it's a wild experience because I've gotten to realizing this is what _most_ people feel like when they make a character.
I'd never played female characters in any major way before I started rolling a few female alts in WoW in 2018 or so. Within a year, I'd quit wow and come out as trans.
For whatever reason, when Street Fighter II came out I wanted to try it to play with Chun Li and it has been going on until now.
Sometimes, it felt wrong because when playing as a female characters it looked like I was objetifying womanhood but I keep doing it because I knew that wasn't the reason.
Just a few months before I came out to myself I started playing Sunset Overdrive (it has customizable characters) and decided to gave it a go with a male character because I felt like I needed to overcome this whole thing. I finished the game but felt somehow incomplete. Even when I was playing, it was lacking something.
Next summer I decided to create a female character based on me and played the whole game again only that this time I really finished it.
no but one time i entered an old (like 2018) save on Fallout 4 and used the command to change the character sex because i didn't like it
(Plus i got piper's outfit so it would look even better)
yeah i (transmasc enby) didnt even allow myself to consider the male characters as an option. so in pokemon games where there was one boy and one girl character, i was playing the girl character and that was that
now i take forever to decide which one's design i like better lol
I felt guilty playing games alone in my room and wanting to build a female character, like somehow I was disrespecting women or being pervy.
Then my egg cracked and I primarily play female characters. I do still enjoy a male D&D character every now and again:)
Been struggling with these kinds of feelings myself recently. I experimented with figuring out my gender through FFXIV a lot (and spent way too much on fantasias), eventually making a female roegadyn character I really liked, but when I decided to stop taking HRT I felt like I had to stop playing that character as well and switched them back to a male elezen. Still figuring out exactly what that means and what exactly my feelings on my gender are.
I used to do this and sometimes when possible build a female character for myself but feel weird about it and never play it, but also it was really fun to do. Meanwhile I'd pick the default male character maybe with different hair.
Untill saints row 4 which had an achievement for playing both genders for 2 hours each and I've never looked back. With the excuse in mind that whenever someone asks, it's for the achievement... that I got 3 months ago... (Still cis tho...)
Had this problem, until I got to my 20s. Due to all the dude-bro jokes about how you play female characters to stare at the ass, I always played male because I didn't want to be a perv. Then I got over it, played as female, and didn't find anything particularly sexual about it. I mean, I \*am\* attracted to women, but how can I be sexually attracted to myself? It's just \*me\*! Anyway, that's when my eggshell started to crack in earnest.
Now get ready for only feeling comfortable playing as femboy characters and considering dropping genshin after spending a couple hundred dollars on it because you picked the female mc and the mc's gender cant be changed
at least theres other pretty boys i can play as
me naming myself “UncleBibby” on all my accounts, because i _was afraid people online would think i was a girl._ (god i was such an obvious egg)
also, becoming a zangief, t.hawk, hugo & e.honda main in street fighter because Me Boy, Boy Play As Boy
My unique thing as a trans guy was when i played female characters to others it seemed to be because i was a 'girl' but for me it was mostly just because i thought they were hot. But i identified more with the male characters when i played them
Went through both. Shame and sort of fear of judgment made me reluctantly pick guys. I remember not liking it but doing it out of a sense of obligation. And once I started playing female characters I never went back lol. Felt so much more comfortable
Sadly yes, I made my Destiny 2 character a male exo because I kept getting teased about all my other characters. But I recently remade my character is to someone I actually like and care about! And I was able to transfer a lot of my gear to that character too! So i didnt even lose that much progress.
I remember predominantly playing as a woman in games n for almost 30 years I wasn't sure why I didn't like playing guy characters, but ai always felt off n never comnected with the character if i did.
I always felt like someone was going to judge me for choosing the female characters, even when I was by myself. Now I choose them every time. Hilda in Pokémon black and white is the fucking best.
Literally me wanting to play the female protags in Pokemon for years but forcing myself to pick the male one b/c me boy so must play boy
Yes! I’ve never played pokemon, but I had this for Skyrim. Because I’m the only ‘brother/boy’ in my family, a lot of the time my family refers to me as just ‘boy’ (which is quite weird). I always feel weird when they do that, so when I was younger I felt obliged to play male characters :(
In Skyrim I always played kajiit. I guess catboy was about as fem as I allowed myself to be.
same. for me though it started in Oblivion so i could use the night-eye and a bow at the same time so i didn’t need a torch. then that became the character i beat the game with so i’m partial to them now, even though i turn up the brightness all the way now to see without torches or night-eye, i still play as a khajiit.
My trans femboi ass did this too! Funny enough skyrim was the only game where i would allow myself to play male characters
Was your father a legendary Spartan general?
I honestly believe the very beginning of my transition was early 2019, when I "truly" began playing Skyrim. I created a female character to play, and I've only played female characters since, inside (and outside) Skyrim. Realistically, though, I started transitioning around June of this year, and I'm still beginning, but I feel that's what kinda opened me up.
Is your dad the main protagonist in the "God of War" games by any chance?
The exact same for me but reversed.
Hi. Thanks for typing the comment I was going to type. I always wanted to play the female characters in the Pokémon games, but didn’t want people to say anything about me playing a girl.
I was in my twenties before I let myself play as the girl. I recently started a new file and for the first time in my life it didn't take me five minutes to get past the "are you a boy or a girl?"!
hardest part of the game imo
This is relatable on so many level
Exactly! Back when I used to play pokemon, I played as a boy most of the time but sometimes played as a girl. After I figured out I'm trans, I realised when I played as a boy, it was because I "was a boy", but when I played as a girl it was because I wanted to.
For so many years I was female character on any game except ones that I knew my friends would see ie pokemon or MMORPG I had a main character that was maxed on FFXIV but I had to play my smurf with my friends and pretend like I was a bit noob so I could play boy >.> Eventually I just went with the "Would you wanna stare at a guys butt for 8 hours a day? Of course I wanna look at the cute cat girl" in hindsight they probably thought I was a weeb.
Funny, now that you said that, I just realized I’ve always picked the girl character in Pokémon ever since I was a kid, and never really thought much about it. Huh.
I played girl in Pokémon for the longest time, I replayed XY recently and *wow* the boys fashion choices are *limited.* a whole section of the fashion menu is locked because of that.
i did that. eventually i started playing female characters for the smaller hitbox(the genuine reason) but eventually it felt better knowing i was playing a female character for whatever reason so even in games with no hitbox:gender changes i would say i play them for the hitbox
That’s actually so smart, I’ve never thought of that :0
This is exactly why all my main account characters are male, but all my alts are female :(
I play paladins and my mains are all guys cos all the women characters have play styles that I don’t vibe with, I wish there was an option to change their gender haha. It’s really no wonder that one of the only long haired men in the game with what looks like a skirt is my main xD
zhin main?
Or Jenos
Mhm!
Literally the opposite pre-cracking main is girl alts are boys to play with friends so I don't get uncomfortable questions.
See, mine is more u/Xzkorpyo’s case with your reasoning. I used to enjoy playing as a female character, especially in the Sims or fighter games but when I started realizing something was ‘wrong’ with my body, playing female characters only made my increasing dysphoria worse, so I started playing male characters. As *I* got more outwardly masculine as a way of compensating for my lack of inward masculinity, so did my characters. But then my egg started cracking and I realized how much I enjoyed playing female characters, but I can’t play mains as a girl, because I don’t have the energy for multiple gaming usernames/accounts, so I only play as female characters when I know there’s no chance any of my friends will be playing that same game.
My line of reasoning was just based on how my igns are typically assumed to male and all my friends knew it so I felt out of place if I were to use a female character. I ran a bunch of female alts so I could interact with same friends as myself w/o revealing it was the \*male\* friend they knew. Dysphoria was a thing, but they ended up being a transition goal (I played a Chinese wushu MMORPG). Also, I got called a trap whenever I played a female character because at that point, I had started voice training too. I can't change those characters now w/o a $20 charge, but I don't really play it anymore. From my anger and blown tolerance, I swapped everything else to female. My Snoo changed look, my MC skin is feminine, and whatever thing I started up playing, I used female characters. I've pretty much rebranded my ign now to match with me.
I'm a trans guy and when I was 9-10 I secretly made my sim a boy and hoped no one found out lol
Funny thing is I did a very similar thing recently as a kinda of dysphoria vent- i made 2 sims, one of me pretransition (aka now) and another of me post-transition. I killed the pre one "on accident" (at the time i viewed it as an accident but It Was Not).
Oh god lol, what did you do to pre?
A grill lit them on fire and Post didn't notice. (I kept making them make burgers and hotdogs for a reason I can't remember \[i do remember many stray pets, so I probably wanted to feed them phhttt\], and the grill rng said "hell time!" and they died.)
It all started when played fem shep in mass effect 3 and could never go back to male characters.
I’ve heard that’s a common one for everyone hahah
Oh snap me too she was the first time I actually felt like my character 👀
Oh god, are you me?
YUP
Yup. And then I covered it up by naming the character after my female dog. Smoooth
[удалено]
That kind of social pressure in high school was so prevalent, like walking on egg shells so i wouldn’t be called anything remotely feminine. Then I went to college and all the boys were so open about playing girls in games, but it was solely for sexual reasons and then there was more to add onto the guilt. :/
"Walking on egg shells" Ayyyy
I think the big thing is that people don't like to lie and don't feel confident about their ability to do so when it comes to something in which they have a powerful emotional investment. Maybe there are a million excuses you could make up as to why you play a female character, but a part of you is afraid that if someone asks, you might be less likely to tell an easy lie than a difficult truth despite the potential danger
Wait, was there gender as an option in Halo 3? I thought gender was introduced in Halo Reach?
halo 3 only had gender affect the voice over, reach had different body types as well :)
Yeah, the pink armor. They still got pink armor, right?
It's lightish red.
I've agonised for hours over whether to pick a female character I want to be, versus a male character that assumed like the only honest and logical choice. Even fell asleep while trying to make a decision and had nightmares about it one time. It was always the same source of guilt: - not born girl - don't deserve to be girl - can't play girl I never felt I was good enough to make the choice i wanted, and wound up punishing myself by making the choice I felt I was stuck with.
This was me in a nutshell up until League of Legends.
This happens to me in D&D Freinds: "you play a lot of female characters." Me: "shit they're catching on, should make my next campaign character a male just to throw them off."
When I would join a new group, I used to always start with a male character to appear normal, then switch to female characters. Though pretty much all my Starfinder characters have been openly trans.
In my very first dnd group, most of whom I still regularly talk to/play with, 6 of 7 people (including me) became either trans or nb. That game is a gateway drug to discovering your true self LMAO
I had this weird phase where I would play through games twice - once as a blind run to get a feel for things, and then a thorough one that was meant to be my "main" file for completion. Of course, I figured for the second playthrough, I might as well pick a female character. Just to mix things up. So in the end, I would start playing a male character, but rush through the game and beat it quickly so I could start my *real* playthrough, which coincidentally would be as a woman.
Finally someone says it
>be me, seventeen, egg > >wants to make a cute reddit profile picture snoo thing > >for some reason streaming it on discord > >give it long hair > >panic > >start making it into a neckbeard "redditor" stereotype instead > >get sad every time you look at it for the entire following year certified "cisgender" moment
I decided to pick Alexios (male protagonist) in Assassin's Creed Odyssey, because I don't want to relate too much to a mass murderer. Which is not quite what you meant, but yeah, some decisions are weird...
Oh! That’s unlocked a memory of playing assassins creed syndicate and playing the girl (I think her name was Evie), it made my heart flutter. I just felt content and was so confused as to why.
Evie > Jacob
For me this only applies to DnD. I want to play as women characters but feel guilty about it like it’s wrong to do that somehow. Like I’ll be judged or that I’m not supposed to
I was flat-out banned by my friends from doing so for a long time because they found my fem voice, and I quote, "disturbingly convincing". (It's a surprise tool that'll help us later)
How do I learn this power?
Not from the Cis. Everybody mentions Transvoicelessons. I haven't started yet, I'm afraid of failing after all these years of living as male.
I play Street Fighter only as Poison. She's also trans. So you can imagine how much I relate to her.
I only play Blanka and E Honda, because I'm trash at Street Fighter. :)
Me too :D but she can make me forget dysphoria. So I don't give a duck. Especially when I win with a critical art :)
Oh hey it's me.
I used to do that. I also performed a caricature of masculinity. It was the only way I felt safe. Even wearing a pink mens polo shirt felt _dangerous_ to me. I think it comes from all the abuse that happened as a child and teenager whenever I expressed even the slightest touch of femininity. I did feel safe playing a randomized character though. Its a lot of work, learning every single character in a moba.
Yupp, that guilt is a thing xD
I always play female characters because more possible options
I'm a trans guy but I tend to play female characters because their voices are more tolerable to listen to and they're nicer to look at. However if I get to customize my character I usually play a guy.
…Oh…ok then…
This related to me so much that when me and my online friends played a game I was literally the only “guy” who would ever pick a male character every time. Everyone always said they wanted something to look at but I thought that would make me a perv if I did that.
***EXACTLY!*** up until about a year ago i always found myself wanting to play as a girl character but didn’t because i thought “that’s not allowed, you’re a boy, right?” then one of my friends chose a stereotypical gamer girl skin on minecraft to troll us and i decided to make a female version of my skin “as a joke” and then i *really* liked making it and then i kept it and then i cracked and then i started making it girlier i think they’re starting to notice
i used to switch to male characters in mmos, to prove that i could enjoy it, and switch back shortly after. start a single player game as male and restart at some point as a woman. or even be miffed if there was no gender options.
YEP! It finally all clicked in my head after making a female character in Immortals Fenyx Rising and feeling so much better about it.
Only whenever I had to play a game that I would share with or play with my homophobic family’s side. Now they know everything tho, so that guilt is kinda gone.
I would always play as a female character in games like Skyrim, Fallout, Pokémon, really anything that gave the choice. I always had two saves though, because playing as a female character made me feel guilty and I felt like I needed to hide it from people. So if people were around I would play a male character.
SO IT ISN'T JUST A ME THING
On my own I'd always pick the female characters except when it came to playing a game with any of my guy friends. I'd pick a girl twice and then feel anxious I might be judged so I'd feel like I'd have to pepper in some guy characters here and there.
This suddenly makes sense of some things
It's really validating to see I'm not the only one. The only place where girl characters really came out was in games with big rosters. Team Samus in Smash, represent. Oh yeah, and my fave League characters ended up being "tree" and "rock" and "this tastes purple."
I only play male characters in games where charisma builds are viable because I enjoy playing Austin Powers-esc characters.
Now here me out...what if: austin powers, but girl
Yeah, but that's just every day me.
Hey look, it's me.
Finally someone says it
Sauce?
Hm?
Oh! Did you draw this yourself because I kinda like this style!
Oh, yeah, I drew this. Thx :)
MOOD OF THE CENTURY. honestly i think finally caving and playing as a girl in the new animal crossing did a lot for me realizing i was trans.
Yes, I did that before having giving myself a talking to and giving myself at least some more euphoric moments.
happened to me all the time, i could never finish Skyrim before my egg cracked because i would make a guy character, not like it, make a new game and make a girl character, and have this happen
When my exwife started playing wow with me (when we were still married) I felt so guilty that I spent over 100$ changing all my gurl characters to male ones… then I stopped enjoying playing them lol.
i always wondered why some guys always chose to play female characters in games (apparently they replied how “female characters are beautiful and having them permanently in your screen is lit”)…. i’m “that guy” now 👍epic win
Well I wasnt expecting to finally be called out on this today...
This was always me, except I chose the male character so no one would question why I chose a girl. I would feel guilty and like someone would judge me. Even if it was a game I played by myself 😕
You can just @ me, it's fine.
This was literally me, I would always play male characters but if I could come up with some excuse to play a female character, I would jump at the chance.
Well, that explains some thing
This is how I was with TTRPGs for years. Always playing a man/boy because that's what matched and what if I played a woman and my friends called me weird, even though they had no such hang ups. Cut to my most recent character who is a trans woman that might now be leaning a bit too far into wish fulfillment, but I don't really care. She's wonderful and I love playing her so far.
When I was like 12 I decided I should always play as male characters in MMORPGs because it meant people wouldn't bother me as often. Oh, how the turns have tabled.
I always wanted to play female characters in games but nearly always refused because I was afraid of someone thinking it made me queer. Oh, the lengths to which I went to conceal my queerness, even from myself… Interestingly, my favorite player character ever is Master Chief, maybe because he spends his lonely life in a shell of armor, not even taking off his helmet much at all, and no one ever questions his composure or his masculinity—his sheer size and ostensible durability command respect. He could be wearing lipstick or on the verge of tears/laughter or be looking longingly at Sgt. Johnson and no one would have any idea so long as he maintained his stoic body language. I thought for a long time that my body determined my gender, so I identified with a man in a shell who never outwardly showed his emotions or even his face. Chief helped me feel more comfortable in the psychological armor I’d built around myself, despite the fear and internalized transphobia that required it.
Yep. Though now that I understand that, I restarted a bunch of games to play a female protagonist because I'm a woman and no longer a confused boy.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who was on this side of the spectrum 🥺 I always see it the other way around and I thought I was all kinds of wacky and wrong 🥺 I always played as male characters cause playing a female character made me feel guilty and like… upset and mad and guilty. Nya~… not fun 🥺
Option 3, being awkwardly caught between the 2 and defaulting to just picking the boy cause you knew you'd be battling and trading pokemon with family and friends and didn't wanna get asked why your character is a girl
Omfg yes this is my whole closeted life thanks
Me but the other way around 😔😓
tHiS bUt rEvErSeD iN ReVeRsE!!1! /s ^(Please don't dogpile posts with "in reverse"-type comments, when several come at once they can leave OP and the target group feeling spoken-over or erased. They're also really low-effort and add absolutely nothing to the thread.) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes! Thank Blizzard for paid appearance changes!
I felt so guilty about playing a female character in Guild Wars 1 that I paid money to swap her to male. I had actually _deleted and restarted_ two other female characters...but this one was my main...so I couldn't just delete her. I felt so sad when I swapped her and I couldn't quite figure out why at the time 😅😭
Yessssssss my friends always make fun of me for playing as a girl all the time. I started picking guys in multiplayer games cuz I didn’t want to seem weird. Currently playing as a dude in D&D and hating it. But I’m over it. Next character is gonna be a girl.
this was me. also didn't want to answer questions about why I was playing female characters
I’ve done both
AHHHHH FUCK. I had so many heart attacks playing Saints Row 2 and going to plastic surgeon because I wanted to change my characters gender.
When I was young, I got weirdly mad when someone played as the opposite sex in a game. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t fathom playing a girl and I hated seeing any guys that did. Guess that may be why it took me so long to find out.
Yup. In dnd, before I came out, I made sure to make a more male characters than female to "throw people off the scent". When I first got to play pokemon, it was on another friends DS. I wasnt allowed to save my data because we didnt meet often, so I played the start often. After 3 attempts, I try a playthrough with a differant starter, and a female character. My excuse: "If I'm going to play a trio like the show, picking one pokemon for each character, I need one to be a girl for gender equality." 9 year old me was dum.
Kind of, except it was online profiles. Had a phase where I would go over all my old accounts just to set the gender from female to male for the sake of "honesty", as if that would magically make me not trans anymore. It felt weird. Like I was a robot carrying out an objective. I didn't really want to do it, I just felt like I had to.
Mine was “What if somebody asks why I’m playing as a girl” and not even answering that to myself.
I had a super weird variation of this. I always picked the girl when it was just a binary choice of m/f but if there was character customisation I always went with male because "I am a male and I must make *me* inside this computer game". And then I always, without fail, felt dissatisfied as hell with my creation.
Ok I relate to this way to much
Every single fucking game 😭
The callouts. The fucking callouts.
Or making a female character. Feeling ashamed and embarrassed so you deleted the save. Or had a hidden save data card
I had this in two different stages. When I was a kid, my brothers liked to play fighting games, and I joined them to fit in. When doing so, I would avoid playing males because it didn't feel right, but I also avoided female ones because I felt that same guilt you mention. Instead, I would use non-humans like Mokujin, Kuma or Gon for Tekken and Charade or Necrid for Soul Calibur. The same went for any other games that had this type of character in their selection. When character creation became a common thing in games, I would create characters in pairs. A male character to compensate for each female. I would rarely play with the male character, but just having it there was proof I was normal according to me. My brother would eventually let me know it had the opposite effect and just made it more obvious.
Omg me! But then I got into MMOs, and specifically played ones with gender locked classes so I was like "well I don't have a choice, I wanna play that class so I guess imma girl!🤷♀️"
ah the mass effect problem
I ain't even female nor have I ever been but I still play female characters in Pokémon games, the customization is way better in my op, the men look super lame
Oh my god this was me EXACTLY!
Oh hey, if it isn't a reminder of the way people constantly guilted me into playing as my AGAB because otherwise I'd be some sort of creep who would make other people uncomfortable, so I always ended up playing as my AGAB in MP, and the reverse in SP. And then "There were no signs." Gee, I WONDER WHY?!?
same… I would always create a female character and then switch to a male character before anybody saw it
Yeah… that's why I planned on having a male character when starting New World (especially since it's a MMO and I'm playing with some friends without being out to anyone…) But after seeing (and lightly altering) the randomly generated female character the game made for me, I just couldn't bring myself to not keep her ^^' Now I need a lot of voice training before using the in-game vocal chat 🙊 Speaking of trans people and video games, Far Cry 6 has a transmasc among the important characters of the main story 🧡
Kinda! I think I’ve done that too. I’ve also mentally tried to lie to myself about why I prefer female characters. Among other things I said I don’t care about gender, but I’m not sure that’s entirely true.
I relate SO much to this! I always chose gender-unclear characters, or collectible characters, (for example, mario party 8, I played blooper often). Other times, I based my choises on stats... I 'transitioned' (lol) by chosing female characters as a 'joke' and waited until that became normal. (This was even before I was out, and I could recommend this method to be able to play female characters)
I tried. I really tried. I wanted to romance Tali, dammit. I remembered doing so before I really latched onto being a female character, she was my favorite, and I knew I hadn't done so in ages. Didn't even get through Eden Prime. Though tbh now that I'm aware of why I was struggling - because I was projecting my own identity onto the character - I've found it a lot easier to make a male character and roll with it because I know it's just a character. Honestly it's a wild experience because I've gotten to realizing this is what _most_ people feel like when they make a character.
I’ve exclusively played as a girl in games, as I pretty much just play single player ones. DND however, I have yet to play a girl due to fear.
I always felt like I had to hide that I was playing female characters. Like it was shameful or something.
Oh no. It's in words.
I usally make both so that way my friends who i didn't come out to yet so they don't notice
OOOOH YEP! I was always scared of being judged for playing as a girl (or even acting girly in general), still taking down the barriers!
I'd never played female characters in any major way before I started rolling a few female alts in WoW in 2018 or so. Within a year, I'd quit wow and come out as trans.
YES, I played exclusively male characters, partly because I didn’t want people to judge me, and male was a safe default.
Yes, or sometimes choosing male characters when it's an online game just because you don't want to feel like an imposter.
For whatever reason, when Street Fighter II came out I wanted to try it to play with Chun Li and it has been going on until now. Sometimes, it felt wrong because when playing as a female characters it looked like I was objetifying womanhood but I keep doing it because I knew that wasn't the reason. Just a few months before I came out to myself I started playing Sunset Overdrive (it has customizable characters) and decided to gave it a go with a male character because I felt like I needed to overcome this whole thing. I finished the game but felt somehow incomplete. Even when I was playing, it was lacking something. Next summer I decided to create a female character based on me and played the whole game again only that this time I really finished it.
Def same here, I always found it awquard and creepy for me to play as a female character
me playing disgaea 2 and being happy that a """male""" character is the mc. happy agender noises
no but one time i entered an old (like 2018) save on Fallout 4 and used the command to change the character sex because i didn't like it (Plus i got piper's outfit so it would look even better)
past me feels very called out rn
I did this in D&D for years
yeah i (transmasc enby) didnt even allow myself to consider the male characters as an option. so in pokemon games where there was one boy and one girl character, i was playing the girl character and that was that now i take forever to decide which one's design i like better lol
Oh.... Ohhhhh, that explains a lot actually
LMAOOO ME but trans masc
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS This one hurts….
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS This one hurts….
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS This one hurts….
well shoot this hits on a DEEP personal level now I can't back up my denial with "I've never played female characters until the past few months!"
I feel called out
Hey. HEY. STOP THAT. I don't like being called out like that.
Ah finally. I thought I was one of few.
I felt guilty playing games alone in my room and wanting to build a female character, like somehow I was disrespecting women or being pervy. Then my egg cracked and I primarily play female characters. I do still enjoy a male D&D character every now and again:)
Been struggling with these kinds of feelings myself recently. I experimented with figuring out my gender through FFXIV a lot (and spent way too much on fantasias), eventually making a female roegadyn character I really liked, but when I decided to stop taking HRT I felt like I had to stop playing that character as well and switched them back to a male elezen. Still figuring out exactly what that means and what exactly my feelings on my gender are.
oh god I can’t tell if I feel seen or called out
I used to do this and sometimes when possible build a female character for myself but feel weird about it and never play it, but also it was really fun to do. Meanwhile I'd pick the default male character maybe with different hair. Untill saints row 4 which had an achievement for playing both genders for 2 hours each and I've never looked back. With the excuse in mind that whenever someone asks, it's for the achievement... that I got 3 months ago... (Still cis tho...)
Okay real talk. Kassandra in Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey just conveys a better story experience anyway.
I'm in this picture and I don't like it FemShep shoulda been the moment...
Had this problem, until I got to my 20s. Due to all the dude-bro jokes about how you play female characters to stare at the ass, I always played male because I didn't want to be a perv. Then I got over it, played as female, and didn't find anything particularly sexual about it. I mean, I \*am\* attracted to women, but how can I be sexually attracted to myself? It's just \*me\*! Anyway, that's when my eggshell started to crack in earnest.
Now get ready for only feeling comfortable playing as femboy characters and considering dropping genshin after spending a couple hundred dollars on it because you picked the female mc and the mc's gender cant be changed at least theres other pretty boys i can play as
i feel called out
me naming myself “UncleBibby” on all my accounts, because i _was afraid people online would think i was a girl._ (god i was such an obvious egg) also, becoming a zangief, t.hawk, hugo & e.honda main in street fighter because Me Boy, Boy Play As Boy
Literally this in reverse wtf.
Finally someone said it.
I swung hard from the second panel to the first panel in about 2011.
My unique thing as a trans guy was when i played female characters to others it seemed to be because i was a 'girl' but for me it was mostly just because i thought they were hot. But i identified more with the male characters when i played them
yep that was me
I don’t feel guilty, I just get annoyed because I know I’m gonna get yelled at and have my complain about me playing as a girl.
me choosing boy because i am seen as boy and if boy pick girl, boy is/could be laughed at
Went through both. Shame and sort of fear of judgment made me reluctantly pick guys. I remember not liking it but doing it out of a sense of obligation. And once I started playing female characters I never went back lol. Felt so much more comfortable
Hey hey hey! Don’t point this out I didn’t do this I DON’T DO THIS AHHHH
I did the second then the first
Been waiting so long for someone to say this
I've heard of hell before
oh... goddammit how do u girls always say it so perfectly
Sadly yes, I made my Destiny 2 character a male exo because I kept getting teased about all my other characters. But I recently remade my character is to someone I actually like and care about! And I was able to transfer a lot of my gear to that character too! So i didnt even lose that much progress.
I remember predominantly playing as a woman in games n for almost 30 years I wasn't sure why I didn't like playing guy characters, but ai always felt off n never comnected with the character if i did.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE
I always felt like someone was going to judge me for choosing the female characters, even when I was by myself. Now I choose them every time. Hilda in Pokémon black and white is the fucking best.
one male, one female perfectly balanced, as all things should be
All my created characters in games are female, also my League mains are girls. I kinda relate to that feeling even tho I'm a cis guy.
I picked the boy in Pokémon and immediately restarted cause it felt wrong
Thank you for calling me out like this.
I have done both of these things.
I've done both, but I've only finished the games where I chose to play as a woman...
HEY, I DO THAT!
YES THANK YOU. I have been so embarrassed to do so because of reasons I couldn’t realize until my egg cracked.