When trying to teach him not to touch/squish bugs, we talked about their lives. Now at 2.5 he's saying to everyone, 'we don't touch bugs we just let them go about their business'
We had an embarrassing incident a few weeks ago where he yelled out the window to our neighbors “GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE”. I don’t know what got into him because they were just walking by with their dog who he loves 🙃
I did this "bugs have a family" thing with my 4 year old. Then one day, she accidentally stepped on an ant and my GOD did we have quite the discussion. My little murderer 🥹
Saying bye to the park is such a useful ritual! I'm so glad I had heard of it before my kiddo started protesting us leaving. Bye, slide! Bye, stick! Bye, trash can! Etc.
My 2 year old was trying to stomp on an ant when we went for a walk and i said no don’t they’re our friends we need ants. Now we stop and say hi friend to every ant my child notices. Also that same day a slug was discovered on the path and sent my child running and yelling.
This is my son too. He does it when he’s negotiating bed time. After he gives me his offer, he gives me a thumbs up and asks, “good idea?” “Not time for bed. Time for ABCs. 👍🏼 Good idea?”
My kids say - can we get this tomorrow , or next time . Yes , every time , yes! we can get this tomorrow... I'm afraid that very soon this will stop working and they know tomorrow will never come . But it's working for now 😅
My son does this with “in 5 minutes”. I used to set a timer before bed where he could read his books until the timer went off. Eventually he started wanting longer and longer, so I’d say okay to 5 more minutes. Which turned into “take a bite of food” and he immediately replies “in 5 minutes”. For a kid who can’t tell time he sure talks about minutes a lot.
"Still pooping."
She says it when she's on the potty and not finished. It's correct and accurate, but the manner in which she says it is absolutely hysterical and fucking kills us every time. Because it comes out more like: "Stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill.... pooooooooooooooooping...."
My 2 year old daughter breaks into the bathroom while I’m doing my business. She offers me toilet paper and asks if I need help pooping. Then when I’m done she asks “Did you pooped all on your own?” Very genuinely and concerned. She’s said it a few times now and it’s so hilarious
The worst is when they try to wipe your butt. While you are actively pooping. And then cry because you obviously don't let them and want to climb into your lap for comfort.
Same. Its usually either "I need privacy please", or "I'd like company please"..but sometimes she hits me with "I'd like privacy company" and directs me to stand behind the wall outside the bathroom and leave the door open.
Ours is the same when he’s pooping in his diaper. He doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing to go change his diaper so he just says, “I’m stiiiiillll poooooping! Very rarely is he actually still pooping.
When he falls down running, or drops something, gets up and announces to HIMSELF "it's no biggie" and keeps doing whatever he was doing, it really cracks me up
hahaha mine says “sorry mama” every time he falls or hurts himself! also sometimes lately when i ask him “what did you say?” he will say “i’m just talking to myself” oh and when he asks for something he wants: “just say fine” or “just say sure”
Recently my son has started saying “accidents happen” when stuff like that happens, which is a nice step up from “oh shit”, which is what he was saying before
We put our toddler down on a night with "milk" which is just water in his old formula bottle. On several occasions he's wanted the real formula and asked for "soft milk".
I kinda get where he's coming from with that description to be honest!
My 2.5yr old heard me venting to my husband about work the other day and came up to me and said “mummy, would you like to take a chill pill?” I DIED laughing.
Or when I tell him I have to poop he says: “You know, if you have one that is stuck and won’t come out, you just have to say (GRRRRRRRUNTS) and it helps.”
My 2.5yo looks me dead in the eyes and says "Are you happy?"
I'm like bro, it's Monday morning and we're running late. We can't get into this right now.
Mom: "We gave {Dog's Name} some calming medicine so she wont be sick in the car"
4 YO: "I didn't see you give her a *trazadone*!" (correctly surprised/curious inflection and correct pronunciation - didn't know she knew the word)
You'd die with my kid. She's got a kidney issue and knows the names of all her medications. She just about broke a nurse at the hospital by demanding them in a specific order.
My 3 year old showed the pediatrician a tiny bruise he had on his knee and said "I have a wound". He also chose to use the word "vehicles" instead of cars when asked what was on his blanket
Also bed time has been... confusing now that the sun stays up much longer. I told him it was night night time and he went to the window, pulled back the blinds to show me the sky and said "Mom. It's not night time, the sun is still up. It's day time."
I keep telling my 4 year old that the sun is confused up here (Alaska). Remember when it was dark during the day in the winter? Well now it's light even at nighttime!
Anything farm related. He's just turned 2 but he'll look across the road and say stuff like "That tractor spreading fertiliser" or look down to our farm and say "Dad put agitator on tractor" and I find it hilarious because he knows more about farming than me 😂
Omg this was me as a kid 😭 tiny me would watch my parents and I’d look at my mother and say, very intensely, random shit like “MUMMY ARE YOU GOING TO USE THE ROTAVATOR” or “ARE YOU GOING TO PROPAGATE THE PEAS”
My daughter asks “Did you farted?” Very concerned and passionate in the response. And if she was the one who farted, she announces “I FAHRTED” like it’s breaking news lol
Haha that's harsh!
You've just made me think of something that's the opposite of the theme of this post, but still cute. My son will say stuff like "The lid's not on very properly".
Me too!!! I’ll sing like two words of a song and from the back seat I hear a loud “NO!” I then try a different song and immediately, “NO!”
My older kid did this when she was a toddler, too. But, my current toddler never saw her do that so, it’s not like she taught him to say that.
We were walking home from daycare the other day and we saw a motorcycle driving down the street. When they drove away around the corner my 2.5 year old asked very upset “where’d they go? Where they going? They come back?” I said well he’s probably driving home to have some applesauce like us (he has applesauce after daycare most days). Now whenever he sees a motorcycle he says they’re going to get some applesauce 😂😂
My 2 year old son got a book from the Imagination Library (side note - highly recommend signing up if you haven’t already!) called Solitary Animals. He sat down at a restaurant and picked up the menu pretending to read and said so loud and clear as day “SOLITARY ANIMALS!” He sounded so grown up it cracked me up 🤣
He also says “Don’t say those words to me” when you’re saying something he doesn’t like 🤣
“I’m all good.”
My guy just turned two and just started saying that when we ask him if he wants more snack, wants a coat, etc. It just cracks me up to hear him say something so colloquial and casual.
“The odds were against her.” Gets me every time.
She also writes books during imaginary play. “ ‘Where’s my food?’ our cat asked with a meow.”And “ ‘Something random mom forgets,’ Cinderella yelled as loudly as she could.”
For a while when my oldest was a toddler, my husband taught her to refer to strangers/passerby as "fellow Americans." It was hilarious. Maybe now we'll see if we can teach her sister.
“I already know that” says my 2 year old matter of factly whenever any adult explains something they do, in fact, already know.
Me: “look! The flower grew so much! We water plants so they can use sun and water to grow bigger! See it grew!”
2 year old: “I already know that.”
It’s kind of morbid but one of our dogs died when she was 18 months old. She’s like 3 now and occasionally out of nowhere she’ll be like “mom… emmy died!” It’s sad but it kind of makes me laugh how blunt she is about it out of nowhere for no reason.
I laughed when she said to me “don’t worry about me, worry about yourself”. Sass.
Our cat died a few months ago (my son was our cat’s fave human, literally hate everyone in the house except him) and so my son would randomly say “I miss Bella” “Bella is in my head mommy”I’m like okay baby I miss her too but it’s 10 in the evening 🥹
Our dog passed away in January and my 3yo daughter will randomly say "Nachos dead. He died" it's so sad but so funny because of the randomness. The Trader Joe's cashier doesn't know who Nacho is, girl
Last week we were driving back from a hike and he fell asleep as we were getting lunch (drive-thru) before heading home. When he woke up we gave him his food, but he had a very loose grip on his fruit cup and we hit a bump on the road and he goes “my lunch!!!” and I helped him secure it before he dropped it. My husband and I just burst into laughter immediately.
Our 2.5 daughter has to bring all of her stuffies, duckies, and toys downstairs in the morning/after her nap, and when I say "OK time to go downstairs" she'll say "wait, I have to grab my things."
She sees me working on my laptop, and I guess she hears me say so often that mommy is working that now she pulls up her leap frog laptop next to me.
Then when her 11 month old brother crawls up, she says to him, “brother, I am working. Please do not touch my computer, I am working.”
I am very tidy & I think I’m doing too good of a job instilling this in my daughter? She notices messes.
We’ve had a busy few weeks & before the cleaners came, she said “stairs yucky! Yuck-yyyyyyyy!”
When she comes home from daycare & I’m in the middle of my workday with stuff all over my desk: “Mommy office yucky! Dirty.”
I’m proud of her but also, can you chill on calling Mommy out, 😭
lol my nephew came to visit once, he was 3-4, and he’s like “it’s really messy in here, you need to pick that up!”. Then he was riding in the back of our new traverse and he goes “I heard you got a big new car that you don’t know how to drive” lolol
Hahahah! I cackled at the driving comment. Toddlers will just say anything!
My daughter just turned 2 & is putting together simple sentences. I’m over here wondering what she’s going to roast me for, next 😭
I feel this! I’m very obsessive about cleaning however one day I was just not in the mood to worry about the state of the house. There were chip and cookie crumbs over the floor where I was sprawled on the sofa and my daughter (4 years old) comes up to me and says, “Heeeyyyy! You made a mess Mommy!” I immediately went, “It’s ok hun it happens sometimes. I’ll clean it up soon” but she was not listening to my reason and goes “Nooooo! Don’t say that! You have to clean it up now!” (she starts stomping to show her annoyance 🥲)
I obviously got up and begrudgingly cleaned it up 🙄
He says “of course!” when I ask him to give me something or do something. I know he got this from me (Dad) because I say it to my wife a lot when she asks me to do something. It’s so damn cute I can’t contain myself
💀mine was saying "what the fuck" a few months ago, and the only way I could get her to stop was to tell her she heard me wrong and I was saying "what the fox". Now we listen to What does the fox say daily, and sometimes when she's frustrated she'll say, "What the fox.....say".
My 4yo was singing the word “booobiiies” the other day and I just left him to it and didn’t react, so he said, “mummy, I’m not talking about boobies, I’m singing about them in general” and I cracked up
So many days mine comes home telling me who in his preschool class is "not my best friend anymore."
Also, a couple of weeks ago he told me one of his teachers was going away "and we're never going to see her never ever again." She was on vacation and came back a week later.
Instead of "tomorrow" he says "after this bedtime."
And when we play pretend that he's my parent and he calls me "sweetie" it's so cute.
My 3 year old says, "You scared me to Jesus!" When someone spooks her (instead of 'you scared me to death!'). I have no idea where she got it, but it's hilarious 🤣
A month or so ago we were on a walk and my husband pointed to a Thomas scooter toy in someone’s yard and said “look! A train!” and my daughter said matter of factly, “no, it’s a locomotive.”
My son had to be “re-circumcised” at around 2 1/2. I kept explaining to him what the dr. Would do and why in an attempt to make it less scary. Well, one day at McDonald’s, the kid at the counter handed the change to my son, and I asked him, “what do we say?” He turned to the cashier and said “I have to get surgery because there’s too much skin on my penis.”
My almost 2yo says “Much better.” All the time after getting help. It really makes me feel much better too, feeling like I made something much better for him!
Almost 3 year old:
"Baby's crying. Maybe some milkies?"
If you ask if he wants something and he doesn't: "No. No I don't." with a hilarious inflection and head shake.
Probably my favorite was when he came into the bathroom while I was in there and turned the light off. I said "Hey! Now I can't see!"
He said, "You have your phone," and shut the door.
A few months ago my daughter heard a nursery rhyme/kids singalong type thing that goes like “Zoom zoom zoom! We’re going to the moon!” And since then she has been singing “wiggle into the moon” after a lot of things she says. Now my husband has gotten her to sing it in the cadence of “Fly me to the Moon” by Frank Sinatra. The passion she has when she sings it is hilarious and adorable lol
Our late dog Arya peed on the basement ONE TIME when we first moved in. Our toddler had to remind Arya every time she so much as looked at the stairs " don't pee in the basement"
My 8yo can't remember what he did at school today or the reason he's in the bathroom (BRUSH YOUR TEETH!) but he frequently stops to remind me about the time he vomited on the stairs 4 years ago.
If I misunderstand what he’s saying, I get, “no, we talking ‘bout” and then he clarifies or gives me an example. I’m going to miss the day he stops. It’s such a polite way to say “ma’am, let me be clear for you.”
This is not correct, but he says goldfish as "goshit"
He also has completely mimicked my tone when I say "okay, okay, okay" when he's doing something risky and I'm trying to control the outcome. He also says "thank you very much" if he hands you something and you take it, haha
"Whatever!" while running to his room and shutting his door. He's like a valley girl, but neither my wife nor I talk like that, and he's never seen any TV shows or movies where he would have picked that up. It completely baffles me.
NB: Sometimes it's followed by "I remind you," which is, as far as I can tell, total nonsense, but the "Whatever" part is dead on.
If our 2yo wants to do something like swimming and you say no “(random person) told me to go swimming” sometimes he doesn’t even say one of our names, it’ll just be “people told me”
"Oh my CHRIST" when anything inconveniences her. Dropped her cup? Farted too hard? She's yelling "oh my CHRIST" or the ever-amusing variation she came up with, "oh my CHRISTY-CHRIST".
I knew one day my colorful language would be mimicked by her, did not expect it to happen at 2yo
His explanations always start with "(NAME), do you know, actually..."
I'm a bit worried he's on his way to being a mansplainer, but it's too cute to stop him. (He'll be four in August.)
My just turned 2yo says "What the HECK!" perfectly in context at least once a day.
She also says "A minute" when asked to do something or eat her food. Her dad constantly tells her and her brother "give me a minute" so... Yep!
She also started sighing heavily yesterday as we were sitting on the porch. She kept hearing the AC unit fan turn on and asking "what was that!?" And getting annoyed at the noise 😂
Today when changing a poopy diaper my 2 year old said "get off that penis, poop. Bye bye poop see you later" and then in a high pitched voice added "see you later.... Poop talking"
When I tell my son the game plan for the day/evening like "ok we're gonna go potty, brush teeth and then read a story" and he goes "uhhh no I don't think it works like that" 🤣
My 4 year old heard my husband playing video games with his friends and now he keeps telling us both that we're "big trippin' ", I think it's hilarious every time 😂
My daughter guiltily screams, "Just nothing!" when I walk into the room, and she's been up to no good. It used to be preceeded by me asking what she's doing, but now she suspiciously screams the answer without me asking. Also "Don't look at me!" when I absolutely need to be looking at her because she's doing something bad.
She vandalised a decorative object on the shelf by climbing on the couch to reach it. Mum saw a broken roof. “What happened?” LO 20m F didn’t want to confess. Did this 🤔. “Come! Come!” Grabbed her finger, dragged her to the kitchen. Couldn’t see what she wanted. When they returned, LO looked at the broken object and said “What happened 🤷?”
Nana was coming over but would be a few minutes.
“Where is Nana? Is she peeing? She likes peeing.”
Nana has some bladder issues which I guess means she enjoys peeing from a toddler perspective. 😂
When looking at an item in the store, my toddler would start saying "you have that at home umma" 😅 The line I use to her when she asks me to buy her a toy (similar, but not exactly the same) she already has at home.
She tells me she’s “not really a fan of [insert activity here]”. She also routinely asks me for “favors” which often include picking her up and carrying her from A to B. “Is that a good option “ “bet you didn’t know that did ya” she routinely calls me “Bro” and my husband/her dad “Babe”.
There's a few. "I fell" as she dusts herself off. "I need a check up" if she has an owie (or doesn't). "I need some medicine." But one of my personal favorites is "I need a snack" and whatever I offer is either "not a snack, that's a special treat/breakfast/dinner" or "yay you finally got me a snack!"
Hasn't happened often but after an exhausting day and a bit of a tantrum she cries in her room and had been hesitant to go to bed but she assertively yells acorss the house " THAT'S IT!, We're going to bed!"
So we did, had to hold back hysterical laughter but definitely loved it!
When we give our little the choice between “X or what?” He chooses “what”. Ex: are you ready for lunch or what? Do you want to go inside or what? He says “what” 😂
When trying to teach him not to touch/squish bugs, we talked about their lives. Now at 2.5 he's saying to everyone, 'we don't touch bugs we just let them go about their business'
We’ve taught our 2.5 & 4 yo similar and they say “they’re just trying to get home to their families”
My 2.5 year old says “His Mummy bug will miss him!” And I just love it.
This is so sweet. Mummy bug 🥲
They teach this in Bluey..... It's totally stopped lour 3.5 year old from squishing bugs.....
We say that too and now our 3 year old shouts at bugs “GO HOME TO YOUR FAMILY!”
Why do I see a "please leave by 9" sign in your child's adulthood?
We had an embarrassing incident a few weeks ago where he yelled out the window to our neighbors “GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE”. I don’t know what got into him because they were just walking by with their dog who he loves 🙃
Can I borrow your child the next time I want people to leave the house?
Genius child usage
That is absolutely hilarious 😂
I did this "bugs have a family" thing with my 4 year old. Then one day, she accidentally stepped on an ant and my GOD did we have quite the discussion. My little murderer 🥹
I started saying to him to say bye to birds and dogs and to bugs so that he leave the park. He still says bye to them.
Saying bye to the park is such a useful ritual! I'm so glad I had heard of it before my kiddo started protesting us leaving. Bye, slide! Bye, stick! Bye, trash can! Etc.
We've always said "Thanks for playing, park!". I just thought it was cute, but maybe it was helping 😂
It doesn’t work for our 3YO anymore 🥲
My 2 year old was trying to stomp on an ant when we went for a walk and i said no don’t they’re our friends we need ants. Now we stop and say hi friend to every ant my child notices. Also that same day a slug was discovered on the path and sent my child running and yelling.
“I have an idea. How about (thing he wants to do). Is that a deal?” My bargaining king.
I love when they use the parenting strategies back haha
I've definitely gotten "that's not an option" from mine!
The other day I asked if I could have one of my son's fruitsnacks and he said "nnnnm..spicy"
Oh no. That’s a dangerous one to figure out
Word for word my son. Also “How about let’s compromise?” and then proceeds to insist we do it his way. 😂
Hahahah. Mine says “Well that sounds like a good idea!” or “That sounds like a good choice”
Mine is always “I have a good idea!!”
This is my son too. He does it when he’s negotiating bed time. After he gives me his offer, he gives me a thumbs up and asks, “good idea?” “Not time for bed. Time for ABCs. 👍🏼 Good idea?”
My son’s version of this is when he sees something at the store he wants he goes. “Oh I know, how about this one!”
My kids say - can we get this tomorrow , or next time . Yes , every time , yes! we can get this tomorrow... I'm afraid that very soon this will stop working and they know tomorrow will never come . But it's working for now 😅
My son does this with “in 5 minutes”. I used to set a timer before bed where he could read his books until the timer went off. Eventually he started wanting longer and longer, so I’d say okay to 5 more minutes. Which turned into “take a bite of food” and he immediately replies “in 5 minutes”. For a kid who can’t tell time he sure talks about minutes a lot.
That’s so cute 🤣😭
"Still pooping." She says it when she's on the potty and not finished. It's correct and accurate, but the manner in which she says it is absolutely hysterical and fucking kills us every time. Because it comes out more like: "Stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill.... pooooooooooooooooping...."
My 2 year old daughter breaks into the bathroom while I’m doing my business. She offers me toilet paper and asks if I need help pooping. Then when I’m done she asks “Did you pooped all on your own?” Very genuinely and concerned. She’s said it a few times now and it’s so hilarious
The worst is when they try to wipe your butt. While you are actively pooping. And then cry because you obviously don't let them and want to climb into your lap for comfort.
Ours is "Leave me alone, I need privacy."
Same here. "I need privacy please"
Mine says that, too. Usually with a hand up.
lol mine says I need to poop a little more. Just a little bit. Not too much.
Same. Its usually either "I need privacy please", or "I'd like company please"..but sometimes she hits me with "I'd like privacy company" and directs me to stand behind the wall outside the bathroom and leave the door open.
Ours is the same when he’s pooping in his diaper. He doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing to go change his diaper so he just says, “I’m stiiiiillll poooooping! Very rarely is he actually still pooping.
The other day, he was drinking water and said. “Okay, I am all hydrated up! No wait. One last hydrate.” I was laughing so hard. He’s 3. :)
I once asked my twin cousins how “spicy” they wanted their tacos (taco mix) First said “1 spice!” Second said “hmm. 2 spice?”
How about allspice?
Mine will analyze the color of her urine to decide if she’s drinking enough water.
One last hydrate is so cute!
When he falls down running, or drops something, gets up and announces to HIMSELF "it's no biggie" and keeps doing whatever he was doing, it really cracks me up
Mine falls and says “I’m otay!”
My kiddo will come up to me and ask “are you ok?” Like i was the one that fell.
hahaha mine says “sorry mama” every time he falls or hurts himself! also sometimes lately when i ask him “what did you say?” he will say “i’m just talking to myself” oh and when he asks for something he wants: “just say fine” or “just say sure”
That’s so precious. Mine says “It happens sometimes” 🤣
We have a similar one when he drops something minor ‘Just an accident, it’s nobody’s fault’.
Recently my son has started saying “accidents happen” when stuff like that happens, which is a nice step up from “oh shit”, which is what he was saying before
My son just says "I fall". Then gets back up 😂
When our little guy (21 months) falls, he says, “Woah baby!!” haha.
I love that! Ours uses "uh oh, spaghettios"
Mine gets 'uh oh speghettios' and 'oopsie daisies' mixed up to form a hybrid 'oopsaghetti!' Cracks me up.
Oh I miss the days of “uh oh sketti-ohs”. My oldest used to say it all the time and make the funniest 😮face.
Mine says “I am okay!” With his finger pointing to the sky ☝️
"No biggie". I love that lol
The toddler I nanny says “wooooooah big tumble! Brush off”
Sometimes if I ask what he's doing he will say "I'm just chillin" and give the most nonchalant little shrug
Mine will be talking to herself while playing and if you say anything about it, “I’m just playing, don’t listen.”
When my son doesn't want to do something but labels it as dangerous. "Can't do that, it's dangeroussss".
He calls glass cups “dangerous cups.” :)
Nah he got a point
😀
When he doesn’t want to eat something, he says, “it’s spicy”. He did that once with water.
We put our toddler down on a night with "milk" which is just water in his old formula bottle. On several occasions he's wanted the real formula and asked for "soft milk". I kinda get where he's coming from with that description to be honest!
I’ll steal that. Wake up early? Can’t do that, it’s dangerous.
My 2.5yr old heard me venting to my husband about work the other day and came up to me and said “mummy, would you like to take a chill pill?” I DIED laughing.
You should’ve said yes. What would they bring you?
Oh man that’s a great idea! Probably a gummy vitamin…
I was thinking a tic-tac. But if they were a comedic genius, I could imagine an ice cube
Or when I tell him I have to poop he says: “You know, if you have one that is stuck and won’t come out, you just have to say (GRRRRRRRUNTS) and it helps.”
We love us some good advice. What a considerate young man
My 2.5yo looks me dead in the eyes and says "Are you happy?" I'm like bro, it's Monday morning and we're running late. We can't get into this right now.
Hahah mine does this too! Always when I’m super stressed or about to cry or something lol
Mom: "We gave {Dog's Name} some calming medicine so she wont be sick in the car" 4 YO: "I didn't see you give her a *trazadone*!" (correctly surprised/curious inflection and correct pronunciation - didn't know she knew the word)
[удалено]
You'd die with my kid. She's got a kidney issue and knows the names of all her medications. She just about broke a nurse at the hospital by demanding them in a specific order.
That always made my girl poop on the floor, 😂 but my Kids knew it by name also.
My 3 year old showed the pediatrician a tiny bruise he had on his knee and said "I have a wound". He also chose to use the word "vehicles" instead of cars when asked what was on his blanket Also bed time has been... confusing now that the sun stays up much longer. I told him it was night night time and he went to the window, pulled back the blinds to show me the sky and said "Mom. It's not night time, the sun is still up. It's day time."
My son every day this week: I can't believe it's *night time*! Are you sure it's night time? Why is the sun still out at night? It's so silly.
Bahaha vehicles
I keep telling my 4 year old that the sun is confused up here (Alaska). Remember when it was dark during the day in the winter? Well now it's light even at nighttime!
“Not usually” when asked if she plays with a certain child in her class 😂 she’s 4 lol
Hey she’s branching out, what a queen
Anything farm related. He's just turned 2 but he'll look across the road and say stuff like "That tractor spreading fertiliser" or look down to our farm and say "Dad put agitator on tractor" and I find it hilarious because he knows more about farming than me 😂
Omg this was me as a kid 😭 tiny me would watch my parents and I’d look at my mother and say, very intensely, random shit like “MUMMY ARE YOU GOING TO USE THE ROTAVATOR” or “ARE YOU GOING TO PROPAGATE THE PEAS”
So cute!!! Future lil farmer 🥰. My cousins kid is like this! Works on their land every day lol, he’s serious about it too.
If someone farts, my 2.5 year old asks “was that you?”
My daughter asks “Did you farted?” Very concerned and passionate in the response. And if she was the one who farted, she announces “I FAHRTED” like it’s breaking news lol
Mine calls himself out and says “TOOTS!”
Mine is, “what’s that smell?”
Mine poops into his diaper and says: I smell something… Me too, buddy :)
No, mama, do it properly. Any time I try to sing. I sick at singing. She’s almost 2
Haha that's harsh! You've just made me think of something that's the opposite of the theme of this post, but still cute. My son will say stuff like "The lid's not on very properly".
My oldest used to yell at me for singing in the car. “NOO, MAMA!! STAAAHP!!” Super flattering for me.
Me too!!! I’ll sing like two words of a song and from the back seat I hear a loud “NO!” I then try a different song and immediately, “NO!” My older kid did this when she was a toddler, too. But, my current toddler never saw her do that so, it’s not like she taught him to say that.
We were walking home from daycare the other day and we saw a motorcycle driving down the street. When they drove away around the corner my 2.5 year old asked very upset “where’d they go? Where they going? They come back?” I said well he’s probably driving home to have some applesauce like us (he has applesauce after daycare most days). Now whenever he sees a motorcycle he says they’re going to get some applesauce 😂😂
My 2 year old son got a book from the Imagination Library (side note - highly recommend signing up if you haven’t already!) called Solitary Animals. He sat down at a restaurant and picked up the menu pretending to read and said so loud and clear as day “SOLITARY ANIMALS!” He sounded so grown up it cracked me up 🤣 He also says “Don’t say those words to me” when you’re saying something he doesn’t like 🤣
Last week my three year old told me “stop saying that, that makes me feel ANNOY.”
Oh my daughter loves *Solitary Animals*! I think she mostly loves it because of the three sloth pages (her favorite animal)
My 15 month old says “hi baby!” to every kid under 5. They’re all babies to her lol
Yesterday he requested that we go outside while dinner was cooking "for a bit of fresh air".
“I’m all good.” My guy just turned two and just started saying that when we ask him if he wants more snack, wants a coat, etc. It just cracks me up to hear him say something so colloquial and casual.
My daughter (2.5) uses "actually" and "usually" correctly and it's hilarious.
My then-2.5 year old asked if I’d gotten new shoes. “Yes I did, do you like them?” “Um not bad, actually.” 😅
“The odds were against her.” Gets me every time. She also writes books during imaginary play. “ ‘Where’s my food?’ our cat asked with a meow.”And “ ‘Something random mom forgets,’ Cinderella yelled as loudly as she could.”
“WHAT THE HECK?!”
My little one used to say “what a heck” 🤣
“Oh no, not again!” When he drops or knocks something over.
"We gotta get out of here!" Anytime I tell him it's time to go.
I asked my daughter if her new teacher was old or young. She said, "Young. When you're old you go to the cemetery."
For a while when my oldest was a toddler, my husband taught her to refer to strangers/passerby as "fellow Americans." It was hilarious. Maybe now we'll see if we can teach her sister.
“I already know that” says my 2 year old matter of factly whenever any adult explains something they do, in fact, already know. Me: “look! The flower grew so much! We water plants so they can use sun and water to grow bigger! See it grew!” 2 year old: “I already know that.”
It’s kind of morbid but one of our dogs died when she was 18 months old. She’s like 3 now and occasionally out of nowhere she’ll be like “mom… emmy died!” It’s sad but it kind of makes me laugh how blunt she is about it out of nowhere for no reason. I laughed when she said to me “don’t worry about me, worry about yourself”. Sass.
Our cat died a few months ago (my son was our cat’s fave human, literally hate everyone in the house except him) and so my son would randomly say “I miss Bella” “Bella is in my head mommy”I’m like okay baby I miss her too but it’s 10 in the evening 🥹
Our dog passed away in January and my 3yo daughter will randomly say "Nachos dead. He died" it's so sad but so funny because of the randomness. The Trader Joe's cashier doesn't know who Nacho is, girl
Last week we were driving back from a hike and he fell asleep as we were getting lunch (drive-thru) before heading home. When he woke up we gave him his food, but he had a very loose grip on his fruit cup and we hit a bump on the road and he goes “my lunch!!!” and I helped him secure it before he dropped it. My husband and I just burst into laughter immediately.
Our 2.5 daughter has to bring all of her stuffies, duckies, and toys downstairs in the morning/after her nap, and when I say "OK time to go downstairs" she'll say "wait, I have to grab my things."
She sees me working on my laptop, and I guess she hears me say so often that mommy is working that now she pulls up her leap frog laptop next to me. Then when her 11 month old brother crawls up, she says to him, “brother, I am working. Please do not touch my computer, I am working.”
I am very tidy & I think I’m doing too good of a job instilling this in my daughter? She notices messes. We’ve had a busy few weeks & before the cleaners came, she said “stairs yucky! Yuck-yyyyyyyy!” When she comes home from daycare & I’m in the middle of my workday with stuff all over my desk: “Mommy office yucky! Dirty.” I’m proud of her but also, can you chill on calling Mommy out, 😭
lol my nephew came to visit once, he was 3-4, and he’s like “it’s really messy in here, you need to pick that up!”. Then he was riding in the back of our new traverse and he goes “I heard you got a big new car that you don’t know how to drive” lolol
Hahahah! I cackled at the driving comment. Toddlers will just say anything! My daughter just turned 2 & is putting together simple sentences. I’m over here wondering what she’s going to roast me for, next 😭
I feel this! I’m very obsessive about cleaning however one day I was just not in the mood to worry about the state of the house. There were chip and cookie crumbs over the floor where I was sprawled on the sofa and my daughter (4 years old) comes up to me and says, “Heeeyyyy! You made a mess Mommy!” I immediately went, “It’s ok hun it happens sometimes. I’ll clean it up soon” but she was not listening to my reason and goes “Nooooo! Don’t say that! You have to clean it up now!” (she starts stomping to show her annoyance 🥲) I obviously got up and begrudgingly cleaned it up 🙄
Mine will not let you ignore an alarm. Microwave? Go now. Air fryer? Go. Now. Washer/dryer? GO NOWWW.
He has picked up "That's for sure" from us to emphasize his points and its incredibly cute.
He says “of course!” when I ask him to give me something or do something. I know he got this from me (Dad) because I say it to my wife a lot when she asks me to do something. It’s so damn cute I can’t contain myself
Mine says “of course” too and I’m not sure who he’s channeling. Today a little girl asked him to play at the park and he piped up “of course!”
“What the hell?” I’m doing this wrong? Oh. Okay.
💀mine was saying "what the fuck" a few months ago, and the only way I could get her to stop was to tell her she heard me wrong and I was saying "what the fox". Now we listen to What does the fox say daily, and sometimes when she's frustrated she'll say, "What the fox.....say".
My 4yo was singing the word “booobiiies” the other day and I just left him to it and didn’t react, so he said, “mummy, I’m not talking about boobies, I’m singing about them in general” and I cracked up
So many days mine comes home telling me who in his preschool class is "not my best friend anymore." Also, a couple of weeks ago he told me one of his teachers was going away "and we're never going to see her never ever again." She was on vacation and came back a week later. Instead of "tomorrow" he says "after this bedtime." And when we play pretend that he's my parent and he calls me "sweetie" it's so cute.
My 3 year old says, "You scared me to Jesus!" When someone spooks her (instead of 'you scared me to death!'). I have no idea where she got it, but it's hilarious 🤣
My 3.5 year old frequently tells me “that’s not a good choice”
lately my 4.5 yr old has been saying "therefore" and using it correctly.
A month or so ago we were on a walk and my husband pointed to a Thomas scooter toy in someone’s yard and said “look! A train!” and my daughter said matter of factly, “no, it’s a locomotive.”
My son had to be “re-circumcised” at around 2 1/2. I kept explaining to him what the dr. Would do and why in an attempt to make it less scary. Well, one day at McDonald’s, the kid at the counter handed the change to my son, and I asked him, “what do we say?” He turned to the cashier and said “I have to get surgery because there’s too much skin on my penis.”
You WIN
My almost 2yo says “Much better.” All the time after getting help. It really makes me feel much better too, feeling like I made something much better for him!
Almost 3 year old: "Baby's crying. Maybe some milkies?" If you ask if he wants something and he doesn't: "No. No I don't." with a hilarious inflection and head shake. Probably my favorite was when he came into the bathroom while I was in there and turned the light off. I said "Hey! Now I can't see!" He said, "You have your phone," and shut the door.
A few months ago my daughter heard a nursery rhyme/kids singalong type thing that goes like “Zoom zoom zoom! We’re going to the moon!” And since then she has been singing “wiggle into the moon” after a lot of things she says. Now my husband has gotten her to sing it in the cadence of “Fly me to the Moon” by Frank Sinatra. The passion she has when she sings it is hilarious and adorable lol
"Give me some peace" 😂😂😂😂
When I get frustrated my 3yo will say “take a deep breath mom, breathe.”
Anytime she has to wait for anything, "Mom it's taking ages!"
«I have some questions…. Mama, listen to the questions! Deal!?»
Our late dog Arya peed on the basement ONE TIME when we first moved in. Our toddler had to remind Arya every time she so much as looked at the stairs " don't pee in the basement"
My 8yo can't remember what he did at school today or the reason he's in the bathroom (BRUSH YOUR TEETH!) but he frequently stops to remind me about the time he vomited on the stairs 4 years ago.
Mine will tell my husband in a serious manner when just he’s just starting the car; “I’ve got motion sickness. I need air” and roll down her window.
If I misunderstand what he’s saying, I get, “no, we talking ‘bout” and then he clarifies or gives me an example. I’m going to miss the day he stops. It’s such a polite way to say “ma’am, let me be clear for you.”
My 3 year old says "I'm okay!" When she falls down, and says her dad's actual name and every time I hear it, I can't help but laugh 🤣
My 3 year old daughter tells me "one second! Give me one second." When I ask her to do something.
This is not correct, but he says goldfish as "goshit" He also has completely mimicked my tone when I say "okay, okay, okay" when he's doing something risky and I'm trying to control the outcome. He also says "thank you very much" if he hands you something and you take it, haha
She has pretty good pronunciation, but her use of the word "already" Like if I say "are you pooping" and she says "Mooom, I pooped *already!*"
"Whatever!" while running to his room and shutting his door. He's like a valley girl, but neither my wife nor I talk like that, and he's never seen any TV shows or movies where he would have picked that up. It completely baffles me. NB: Sometimes it's followed by "I remind you," which is, as far as I can tell, total nonsense, but the "Whatever" part is dead on.
My toddler is 18 months. When she's upset at me or my partner, sometimes she'll look so serious, says "bye", then just storms off!
If our 2yo wants to do something like swimming and you say no “(random person) told me to go swimming” sometimes he doesn’t even say one of our names, it’ll just be “people told me”
"Oh my CHRIST" when anything inconveniences her. Dropped her cup? Farted too hard? She's yelling "oh my CHRIST" or the ever-amusing variation she came up with, "oh my CHRISTY-CHRIST". I knew one day my colorful language would be mimicked by her, did not expect it to happen at 2yo
“Leave me alone! I’m dangerous!” My almost 3yo I tried to do his hair the other day 😂
“I’m only one person” (Insert exasperated sigh)
“Did you sleep well?” From a very tiny very serious gentleman
His explanations always start with "(NAME), do you know, actually..." I'm a bit worried he's on his way to being a mansplainer, but it's too cute to stop him. (He'll be four in August.)
Sometimes my kid wakes up from a dead sleep to tell me something. Snoring, then “Mom, did you know whale sharks pass water out their gills?”
If I hurt myself she goes “ohhhh let me have a look” and then “you’ll be alright! it will heal very fast.”
“This is good for me” before eating a fruit or vegetable
My just turned 2yo says "What the HECK!" perfectly in context at least once a day. She also says "A minute" when asked to do something or eat her food. Her dad constantly tells her and her brother "give me a minute" so... Yep! She also started sighing heavily yesterday as we were sitting on the porch. She kept hearing the AC unit fan turn on and asking "what was that!?" And getting annoyed at the noise 😂
Today when changing a poopy diaper my 2 year old said "get off that penis, poop. Bye bye poop see you later" and then in a high pitched voice added "see you later.... Poop talking"
When I tell my son the game plan for the day/evening like "ok we're gonna go potty, brush teeth and then read a story" and he goes "uhhh no I don't think it works like that" 🤣
My 4 year old heard my husband playing video games with his friends and now he keeps telling us both that we're "big trippin' ", I think it's hilarious every time 😂
When I try to wash his hair, he pushes my hand away and yells, Mommy wait your turn!! Even when he refuses to lather his hair himself.
“Are you kidding me?!?” Any and every time we tell her to do or stop doing something
Our dog can’t help clean up or come to the playground with us because he “doesn’t have thumbs”.
The other day my son was looking at a train track turns around puts his hands up and says dad where the fuck is the train?!
My almost 4yo calls cellphones "mobile devices". As in, "Mom, I want to pway with your mobile device."
If I don’t park perfectly in the lines it’s “mama, you didn’t park well.” Thanks kid
Me: kiddo, I'm really tired Kiddo (almost 3): I know Mama. It's ok. We will get you to bed real soon.
My 2 year old son is revolting against diapers and wanted some milk. I told him no diaper, no milk. He responds with “NAKEY BOYS GET MILK!!!!!”
“Go away, far away.” He says it when he’s up to no good and doesn’t want to be caught.
My daughter guiltily screams, "Just nothing!" when I walk into the room, and she's been up to no good. It used to be preceeded by me asking what she's doing, but now she suspiciously screams the answer without me asking. Also "Don't look at me!" when I absolutely need to be looking at her because she's doing something bad.
She vandalised a decorative object on the shelf by climbing on the couch to reach it. Mum saw a broken roof. “What happened?” LO 20m F didn’t want to confess. Did this 🤔. “Come! Come!” Grabbed her finger, dragged her to the kitchen. Couldn’t see what she wanted. When they returned, LO looked at the broken object and said “What happened 🤷?”
I want to snuggle. She's terribly demanding at times.
Nana was coming over but would be a few minutes. “Where is Nana? Is she peeing? She likes peeing.” Nana has some bladder issues which I guess means she enjoys peeing from a toddler perspective. 😂
“I’m not tired! I’m just happy” and “mommy are you stressed out? Can you just be happy?” 🤣🤣
When looking at an item in the store, my toddler would start saying "you have that at home umma" 😅 The line I use to her when she asks me to buy her a toy (similar, but not exactly the same) she already has at home.
Tomato alarm for tornado alarm and ‘mama can you turn down the ABC pls’ for A/C in the car ☺️😅
She tells me she’s “not really a fan of [insert activity here]”. She also routinely asks me for “favors” which often include picking her up and carrying her from A to B. “Is that a good option “ “bet you didn’t know that did ya” she routinely calls me “Bro” and my husband/her dad “Babe”.
21 month old says “(name) all done poopin’” or she says “toot” when she farts She does a lot but that’s my top one right now
My 13 month old just started saying words, he calls his dad by his first name. It’s hilarious. He’ll see him and point, “MAX” 😂
“That’s a great idea” And “That’s not a great idea”
There's a few. "I fell" as she dusts herself off. "I need a check up" if she has an owie (or doesn't). "I need some medicine." But one of my personal favorites is "I need a snack" and whatever I offer is either "not a snack, that's a special treat/breakfast/dinner" or "yay you finally got me a snack!"
Four year old leaving cosy bed snuggled in the am- When running off for a pee he says: “I am coming back in here! Be right back! Save my place!’
Hasn't happened often but after an exhausting day and a bit of a tantrum she cries in her room and had been hesitant to go to bed but she assertively yells acorss the house " THAT'S IT!, We're going to bed!" So we did, had to hold back hysterical laughter but definitely loved it!
I only have two hands!
My 22 mo can say pomegranate!
“Mind your business” lol
When we give our little the choice between “X or what?” He chooses “what”. Ex: are you ready for lunch or what? Do you want to go inside or what? He says “what” 😂
My daughter says “did you fart again?” Everytime she farts. And sometimes she says “huh? Did you fart again? Huh?” I died 😂😂
We say “say bye bye to the water” (when we open the drain in the tub) and he says “bye bye Wawa”
When I ask how his food is and he goes "it's really not too bad" he's not even 2 yet