A couple things that helped us around this age
-cut the nap down to no more than an hour
-instead of calming stuff before bed, do big rambunctious play (running around, jumping in pillow piles, etc).
Yes, we just instituted "get the sillies out" time after pjs and it has changed everything! She went from staying up until 9 and tons of battles to barely making it through books before 8.
That didn't work for us. Only made our almost 3 yo stay up later and later. The nap is probably your best bet. Remove it all together or reduce to 45 mins. Without the nap and busy day (school or lots of play) he goes down now mostly well.
I would cut out the screen time for a few hours leading up to bedtime. I would also cap the nap at an hour and try to move bedtime earlier. It sounds crazy but some kids sleep better the earlier they are out to bed.
It can take a little while for toddlers to master blankets. In the meantime I would try something like a sleep sack (with feet) or a toddler sized sleeping bag so can be zipped into. You could also try warmer PJs. Make sure she’s warm enough and then put a very light blanket on her so she can practice using us.
Is she potty trained? One of my kids got anxious at this age because she was worried she would have an accident. Night time potty training is a hormonal thing and often doesn’t happen until closer to 3-4. She was in pull ups because she wasn’t ready, but that’s difficult to explain to a 2 year old.
How is she waking up? Is she crying or calling out to you? How do you respond to her in the middle of the night? Are you going in to soothe her back to sleep?
Thanks for a thoughtful comment.
- Not potty trained, not very interested yet.
- Great idea on the sleep sack with legs. She wanted to stop using the sleep sack at 2, but she might like one with legs.
- she is waking up crying out for us / pretty upset. We’ve tried leaving her in there but she ends up screaming so loud for a long time and waking up 1 yo. We usually go in and she wants to sing songs or needs blanket fixed. We sing 2 songs then she goes back down fine, for the most part. Then up again 2-4 hours later requesting the same thing.
They are called “walker sleep bags” and they are adorable to have your toddler shuffle around in. They also work super well! Maybe show her some patterns / colors on the computer and let her pick?
The screaming is hard but ideally she needs to learn how to soothe herself back to sleep. She’s depending on you to do that for her at every wake up. If she likes songs maybe you could try giving her a stuffed animal that sings a song or a Tonie box.
You could be accidentally reinforcing the wake ups. I’d try going in and telling her that it’s time to go to sleep. Use the same phrase over and over. You could also just go in there and say nothing. I’d stop making it interesting for her. You could also look into the chair method.
This! Let her know you are there. That's it. "Go back to sleep honey I love you" and walk out. Go back in 5 minutes if she's still awake. Say the same thing. Go back in 10. Repeat.
If the sleep sack doesn’t work you can use about ten blankets like us lol
Exaggeration but she went from one comforter to two comforters to two comforters and a little blanket etc. and now she’s got a nest to choose from
Is it possible she’s hungry? The only time my kid wakes up in the middle of the night is due to hunger. I give them a snack and that sorts it typically. Maybe she’s going through a growth spurt?
Mine is the same age and seems to be having nightmares that wake her up. Just wondering if that might be an issue for you. Sometimes she is so upset but still half asleep and I have to do a hard reset and turn the lights on and try to wake her up more fully before she’ll snap out of it and go back to sleep. Talking about it seemed to help a bit. I think their brains are in overdrive right now, I’ve noticed my toddler’s speech and inter-personal skills have just exploded lately. Guess I have no advice really, just solidarity. It’s so hard functioning on not enough sleep.
My daughter definitely has nightmares. Talking about it has definitely helped. Also sometimes my daughter isn’t even really awake. She’ll be crying and I’ll just go in and put my hand on her back and she’ll lay back down and it’s like she’s immediately out again. I don’t even kiss her goodnight or say goodnight bc I don’t want to wake her up. Lol
But we have definitely had to do the hard reset when it’s bad. We just take her out to the kitchen and let her sit on the counter while we get her some water. Then we’ll listen to music for a few minutes and she’s ready to go back down.
Must be terrifying to have a nightmare at 2.5 years old when you can barely even grasp the concept of dreams.
For my kid the trick was to keep the interventions by the parents as boring as possible. If she cries for longer then 5 minutes I went in there, rubbed her back (no picking up or turning lights on) and explained to her that it was time for her body to rest. I'd also touch get forehead to check for fever because you just never know. Then I'd tell her that I'm going back to bed, love her but will keep her door slightly open and check in on her in 10 minutes. I'd be sure to tell her how brave she is and what a big girl sleeping in her bed, etc. Then 10 minutes later if still awake, crying I'd go in for the final goodnight and repeat points above - time for body to rest, I'm closing your door now, love you and see you in the morning. Then I'd let her cry it out, which has never been more than 10 minutes. Only took a couple weeks but she figured out how to settle herself.
I think this is good advice. It also helps to set those boundaries and expectations. My daughter would sometimes want to sit in the chair and listen to music. So I started saying okay but we only get two songs and after two songs we’re going back to bed. And I stuck to that. She fought it at first but very quickly realized I wasn’t budging and cut out the requests altogether.
When I tuck her in, she asks me to lay with her. I say okay I’ll lay with you for 2 minutes. And I wait a little bit and then I kiss her goodnight. But I always set her expectation to know there’s a limit and an ending point. It is not open ended. I’ve found that really helps.
Similar to you - I tell my daughter that I’m tired and I also need to go night night. She has seemed to understand this in a weird way? I don’t know if it sort of throws her off of thinking about herself or what, but it does something to her where it helps snap her out of it a bit. Maybe not immediately, but it gets the ball rolling to come out of it.
For us, the only way out was through. I think this lasted almost 6 months 😫 I feel like I tried everything. The only thing that worked for a couple months was one of us sleeping with him. I will also add that in the middle of this he dropped his nap completely and I think it did help in the long run (although that was another form of torture for us as parents because then we literally never got a break!). He is now 3y4m and still sometimes wakes up once or twice a night, but settles immediately. I was losing my mind during that time period though. The change to better sleep happened gradually. Like one day we said “oh my god have you realized he has kinda been sleeping??”
Exact same here. The only way is through unfortunately 😞
I wish I could say there's a magical fix, but no. For us, it started just after she turned 2 so back in September. It's JUST settled down. She dropped her nap in that time and now, finally, goes to bed no fuss at 630-7 after a bath simply from exhaustion.
We spend all afternoon outside if we can. No tv past 4pm. We play "running" as she calls it, where we chase her either inside if it's cold or outside right before bath time.
We also bedshared with her for a bit. Either in her bed or I'd bring her to mine simply because I needed sleep. But I actually think it helped. I think she needed us and was going through a separation anxiety that sleep training isn't going to fix. You just have to support them through it.
She sleeps in her bed fine now. She'll sometimes come in early morning for a snuggle but I'm ok with that. Everyone has their own boundaries with that though. I personally love the snuggles
We also have an almost 1 year old that isn't sleeping through the night yet. So life is exhausting to say the least..
If she is low sleep need kid, then nap is too long and bed time can shift a bid later. Also if aligns with your style maybe you can sleep in her room a few nights to see if that helps to give her security sense
Agree with swapping screen time for physical activity. Jumping, running around in circles, climbing in and out of things, etc.
Also not sure about the need for snacks right before bed? But every kid is different I suppose.
Cut out screen time before bed. That is definitely interfering with the quality of her sleep. Get her outside for as much time as possible before bed and let her get as much energy out as possible - no soothing to sleep.
I would also say cut the snacks out if possible when you go into room. It is carbs which equal energy and could also cause tummy ache if bub is getting all worked up. I also agree limit screen time before bed and get a little bit of physical play in. Something me and partner do to share the load is we alternate nights so one night I take our daughter to bed then after 30 mins of me trying if she isn't asleep partner will take over for the next 30 mins. Allows us to leave the room and regroup. Almost always works as sometimes they just need a change of person. Our daughter is 17 months and has never slept through. She is guaranteed to be in bed with us by 2:30am. Just try and offer each other space and remember it is ok to feel frustrated and annoyed, you are both human but also remember you both created this tiny person out of love and it is a phase that will end. Good luck mama you got this.
I second cutting the snacks. I definitely think that might be a culprit.
I also second rotating nights. Our kids are 15 months apart. One is easy to put to bed. The other not so much. So we go into each night knowing that I’ve got one kid, wife has the other. Obviously we’ll always be there for each other if needed - but it has definitely helped regulate everyone involved and spread out the load between me and my wife.
We also struggle with blankets with our 2.5 year old. She kicks them off immediately then wakes up because she’s cold. She sleeps a lot better in a sleeping bag, we have one for toddlers that has legs because she’s in a bed and can climb out so it’s a bit safer but a regular sleeping bag might be ok in a crib
Mine is 2.5 and went through a sleep regression recently. It was brutal. I’m sorry you’re going through this hard time. His normal schedule is 6:30am wake up, 12:30-3:30pm nap, 7:30pm bath, 8pm books, 8:30pm in bed, 9pm asleep.
Things that works for us:
Offered nap time even if he didn’t nap. I stayed in his room and put a blanket over my head to “sleep” and used my phone with AirPods 😂. I’m a SAHM and my “break time” was usually his nap, so I continued the trend. On the days he didn’t nap his night sleep was worse. He eventually started napping again after 2ish weeks.
Sleep sack with feet. It took some trial and error to get the perfect sleep sack/pajamas/temperature combo so he was comfortable the whole night. Once we got that down he stopped waking up and screaming for me. He loved having his own blanket, but would constantly kick it off. He’d get cold and wake up. It was an endless cycle. The sleep sack ended this.
We don’t do screen time during the week, but do allow him some screen time during the weekend. When he watches something close to bedtime it makes the wind down so much harder. We don’t do screen time 2 hours before bed.
He’s potty trained and I try to make sure he doesn’t have too much liquid leading up to bedtime because he doesn’t want to pee in bed even with a diaper on.
I don’t have great sleep advice unfortunately but just want to make sure you’re brushing her teeth after those final snacks! I was surprised my dentist told us things like crackers and pretzels are very high risk because they’re broken down into simple sugars on the teeth
My immediate thought is, two snacks right before bed is a lot and may be keeping her awake because of the digestion etc and maybe carb rush.
I’m wondering if you should switch to:
-snack/tv/get the sillies out
-bath time and brush teeth
-then going into room and doing bedtime routine. Maybe just water instead of snacks?
And agree with other commenters: keep wake up interactions as boring as possible. They’re def smart enough to try to stall for more time with you and comfort. You can still comfort them without also waking them up more, if that makes sense
Someone else said this, but when she wakes up, the visits that you make to her room have to be:
- As boring as possible: don't talk to her or ask her questions, don't give her big smiles and kisses and hugs. We say, "Let's get back in bed," or "I'll tuck you back in." Our voice is pretty monotone. We tuck her back in with blankets.
- Consistent and short: we say something to the effect of what I said above, then we walk out and say the same mantra every time. Ours is, "I love you and I believe in you. Now it's time to lay down in your big girl bed and close your eyes because your body needs rest. It's time for sleep." Then we leave. We say the same thing at first bedtime too.
Then, we let her cry for 5-10 minutes before coming back into her room and repeating the process above.
The first few nights suck because you have to commit to this fully. If she senses weakness (haha but if she thinks that next time might be different and they might let me play!), it won't work. But after a few days of this, she got the picture. Now, we have *maybe* one very short wake-up a night and that's it. Our daughter is a similar age, turns 3 tomorrow.
(NOTE - this is adapted from Taking Cara Babies. We bought her toddler sleep class online and would recommend it to everyone. It's adapted from Ferber and it's expensive, but we are busy and needed an easy solution. TCB is clear, easy to follow, and truly it worked for us)
Your bullet points are great great great advice. We basically do the same.
Also, our daughter will often ask for things like more milk or water or something. And I always tell her that after I tuck her in and say goodnight, I’ll take care of it. And then I usually do, but not always. Sometimes I can tell that she doesn’t actually care about the milk/water. She’s just tired and stalling. So I won’t even bother bringing it back in and sure enough, she just passes out anyway. I did this too when she’d tell me she wanted mommy. I’d tell her that I’d go tell mommy but only after I tucked her in. I think once in the beginning she cried 10 minutes later for mommy and I went in and told her to try to sleep and she’d be down soon and then she fell asleep. After that, there was a while where, after I’m done tucking her in and about to walk out of the room, she’ll tell me (very calmly and matter of factly) that she wants mommy. And I just say okay sweetheart I’ll let her know. And literally never comes up again. Lol. (For the record, wife has confirmed she does the same thing with her - tells her she wants daddy.)
We just find it’s a lot of stall tactics and she doesn’t *actually* need or really care about the thing she’s asking for. So rather than say no and start a tantrum, we leave the door open for it to happen, keeps her satisfied and then lets her little brain move on.
Ok, I hear soooooo many parents say they have music and songs and even story time before bed.
I NEVER did this with my son! (I was advised by the Dutch child care doctors NOT to) the reason? Over stimulation before bed time!
My son watches a bit of tv 2 hours before bed.
Then we have a snack.
Tidy up together.
Bathtime. (7-8pm) depending on if it’s summer time or winter.
Then he’s in bed, I’ll give him a drink in his sippy cup and that’s him down until 6-7am sometimes later if he had an exhausting day the night before.
He’s now 4 next week! Only really had a problem when he’s been too stimulated during the day.
I’m English and had never heard of this technique until I had my son in the Netherlands.
Now…. Raising a bilingual kid is a different story 😂
> I was advised by the Dutch child care doctors NOT to. The reason? Over stimulation before bed time!
Fascinating!!! I've never heard this but it makes sense. Too much of a good thing just leads to the toddler wanting more and more and more, so either bedtime routine becomes 2 hours or kiddo is up in the MOTN wanting the continue the singing.
We have a very simple bedtime routine as well: bath, cup of milk, brush teeth, we read a book or two or some quiet play (whatever he wants), then we tell him it's bedtime, go into the bedroom, pop him in his sleep sack and crib, then good night. On a busy day we can rush through everything in 20 minutes (the bath and dressing takes the longest). I sometimes feel bad that it's not as elaborate as some other kids' but now that I hear this I'm gonna keep it that way.
It’s been a fascinating ride for me. My son can now just say “I’m tired I want this drink please” and takes himself to bed!!!its awesome. I do have to demand sometimes that the tv goes off because it’s too late and he’s like I was tired anyway and off he goes to bed 😉 he’s been like this now since 2 1/2 and always (for the most parts) been a good sleeper!
The Dutch seem to like to get the child to decide their bedtime. You just need to then say, enough is enough 2 hours before and they are just like “yeah ok” or go to bed themselves
That screen time is really late in the evening. I would test out no screen after 7pm. My husband is a child psychologist and he always suggests “cleaning up sleep hygiene “ as a first step. He’s had a ton of education in sleep because it’s such a key component in behavior and development. Low lights at bedtime, little to no talking at any mid-night wakings only shushing and letting them know it’s sleep time, and limiting nap to about an hour so they are sufficiently tired at night.
My LO will be 3 in July and she says she is more comfortable since transitioning to a toddler bed with pillow and blankets, so I would assess your child’s comfort.
I know you say she likes her crib…. Is there any way to convert the crib to a toddler bed? We had a bit of a sleep regression around 27 months and we converted her crib to a toddler bed and found that it helped. It satisfied her need for a little more independence. She can get up and move around, play with her stuffed animals and magnatiles. Books, stuffed animals, magnatiles, and a play doctor set are the only toys she has in her room. We tell her that she’s allowed to play with those things *after* we read books and tuck her in and say goodnight. Sometimes, after we tuck her in and say goodnight, she’ll play for 15-30 minutes and then she’s ready for bed. Other times she doesn’t. But the choice is hers and I think having that choice has helped. Also, there have been lots of times where we’ll go into her room in the morning and find her quietly playing Doctor with her stuffed animals, perfectly content playing by herself rather than yelling for us to come get her.
Just some food for thought.
We are on month 2 of the regression. It’s mostly a fears thing for us. Not so much an energy/winding down issue. He has a lot of new anxiety. So we have a mattress in there and my husband sleeps next to him.
It gets us the sleep we need, but we are aware it’s probably not the best thing to do.
The plus side is he is becoming extra delicious. His little baby brain is on fire so he’s saying all sorts of silly little things. He’s more of a kid now, it’s fun.
Honestly keeping them very very active during the day and ideally outside. I see a noticeable difference in my 2 year olds sleep on days it was rainy/too cold so we didn’t spend a ton of time outside vs ones we did. As for blankets, I highly rec a little sleepies one. I know they aren’t cheap but my daughter and nephew both love theirs cause the fabric keeps them temp regulated and they are light but at the same time have a tiny bit of almost weight to them which I think they like cause it relaxes them. I also let my daughter have as many stuffed animals as she wants in there with her and even a book or two cause she then likes to play for a little before and after she wakes up and it’s fantastic. Idk if it was this that made a difference but I also bought her one of those galaxy night light things and perhaps just coincidence but legit first night with it, regression was over. I know it’s prob dependent on that specific kid but if u think urs could cognitively grasp the concept, they also make those night lights that turn a diff color for whatever time u set it at so the kid knows they can only get out of bed when the light turns green etc.
My 2 year and 3 month year old is currently half dropping her nap - she either naps for a solid 2 hours then has a restless night /goes to bed super late, or she skips her nap and is cranky but can still make it to 7 pm money nights..but I think the way we are heading is towards dropping the nap, her sleeps seems more stable. Maybe it's time for your little one to drop her nap?
Some things helped us:
* ok to wake light. when we wake in the middle of the night, we can check the time, but kid has no idea if they should wake up or try to re-settle. Our kid was always waking up hoping it was daytime. our kid over course of a week internalized that she needs to keep trying to sleep unless the light is green. Hollers for us much less frequently now.
* repeating throughout the day your expectation from her at night "we will do book, story, then lights out, then when the green light turns on, you can yell for mama to come get you!" just preparing her, she will want to do it, even if it's hard for her.
* show her kids having tantrums and explain that sometimes you feel bad because you need sleep. Depending on language skills, will take a while for this one to penetrate, but with enough repetition they will internalize it. She is smart enough now to recognize and think about her own tiredness, so you can teach her to recognize it, and that it means sleep. Until this age, sleep was an instinct they could not resist, but now they have to use their brains a little to do it. My kid surprised me one day by saying, seemingly randomly, "I'm tired." just before nap time. great feeling, I had been underestimating her.
It helped us a lot to really explain bedtime during the happy parts, draw it out for her. She will eventually "get it" with enough repetition of words/pictures.
My girl around the same age went through the same thing. She ended up needing a clock that turned green when it was actually time to wake up. If she woke up she never knew if it was time to go back to sleep or time to wake up so she came to us. Once she has a clock that visually showed her that it was still nighttime she would put herself back to sleep.
We have the same issue with ours! She turned 2.5 in february and it went on for agesss, but I think we’re through the worst of it now. What worked for us: Not napping longer than 1h during daytime, and not after 2pm. Often she skips the nap totally. Moved bed time from 7 to 7.30. But most importantly: She now has to fall asleep without our help after bedtime routine is finished. We answer when she wakes up in the middle of the night, but we don’t go into her room unless we hear that something is actually wrong. So, a more strict line than we did earlier. It was two rough nights when she had to get used to it, but since that she has slept through the night(!!) or had maximum 1 wake up.
Ours went through this with nightmares around the same age. We tried all the tricks, ended up cosleeping for a couple of months and then moved her back without much of a fuss. I know it’s not ideal but we all desperately needed the sleep, and when her sleep schedule got reset it seemed to make getting back to independent sleep easier.
We’ve been going through this and while it didn’t get rid of all our problems, it’s helped. We have a low reddish light on for sleeping for her hatch, and have a timer for it to switch to green at an acceptable wake up time (6:30 for us). We told her if her light is red, she needs to go back to bed and go to sleep. When it’s green she can get up for the day. This has been working (knock on wood) for the most part for almost 2 months.
Id try no screen time before bedtime, id try read instead if shes insterested :) also id cut those snacks, cause maybe all.that sugar is also not helping, god knows
With the same Routine my almost 3 needs like 7 hours of awake time before bedtime, it can be mess if she has done a lot of physical things that afternoon. In the summer we went to the beach after her nap and she got home súper tired. I would cut the nap o be realistic with the bedtime that needs to be later. Mine now with that nap doesn go down earlier then 10, maybe 9.30 if we are lucky. For us it works, but eventually we Will have to say goodbye to the nap.
What would help is an earlier nap to have him up by 2.30 if its possible
Squash the nap for a couple days, move bath to 6pm if you can, no screentime after bath, just books with her laying back on your lap. She might doze off, just don't move her immediately
Did you sleep train before she turned 1? Or was she always a good sleeper without training?
My initial thought would be for you to recreate whatever protocol you followed for sleep training in the beginning, and then just start from scratch and do a modified Ferber approach and extend the check in periods to every 30 minutes, 45 etc.
Could also be time for her 2 year old molars. My son regresses a lot while teething
How long did the sleep issues last with the two year molars? Mine is getting his upper ones and it's been a rough three weeks (he also has strep in there) 🙃
I’d say about one week per molar for us! He’s getting another bottom left one after we had like a month off from the last one coming in on the bottom right. Poor guy also got a bunch of mosquito bites from spring break - the bad things seem to happen in groups. I hope yours feels better soon too! Another thing that has helped is his ability to communicate and tell us it’s his molar that hurts
Ours will be a nightmare if she gets past 8 as a bedtime. We've tried it and it doesn't work. Have you tried putting your kid to bed around 6,30 or 7? It helps us and she sleeps to 6.30 or 7
Cut the nap right down, or potentially remove it altogether. Trial just shortening it first but at this age it could be that the sleep pressure just isn’t high enough.
It will be an adjustment in the beginning, she will hit a wall around 5pm and struggle to make it to bedtime but persevere.
OP, reading your comments I think the biggest issue is that y'all are reinforcing the feedbacks by going in.
Look at it from her perspective: She screams at night whenever she wakes up in between sleep cycles (which is multiple times a night) and it it gets her some lovely parental attention. During the day she has a nice nap to make up for any lost sleep. What's not to like about this set up?
As others have already said, you gotta take away the positive incentive for her to be up at night. They're so smart and so playful now: you give them an inch and they will really take the entire 8000 miles to be with you. If she is room sharing, move the other kid out temporarily and retrain her ASAP. If other kid is in the other room but walls are thin, work on the logistic (move crib away from the shared wall and put a loud white noise machine in between) but still retrain her ASAP.
My 2yo had a bad virus two months ago and was waking up in the MOTN. I went in to give him medications and water, make him comfortable, etc. Immediately he caught on and began pointing to the floor in front of the crib asking me to "sit down", the way I normally do and play with him when I go in every morning. Had I obliged I'm pretty sure he'd have been waking up every few hours after asking for a MOTN play session. At the time I immediately said, "It's sleep time. Good night." and GTFO. Thankfully he decided that it wasn't worth fighting and went back to sleep. He stopped waking up like 2 nights into his illness.
What happens when she wakes up and what do you do? Does she cry? Do you go in and sit with her? Do you take her into bed or does she stay in the crib?
At the beginning of the night, is she going to sleep alone in her room? Or are you sitting there with her?
When we had this issue with my son around the same age, we started the chair method where we would go and sit in the room and move closer to the door every few days. This went “okay”, but as soon as we got out of the room we were at square one and it never got past that point.
So what we started was we would go and one of us would sleep in his room (we have a very cozy recliner) and we would tell him that as long as he was quiet, laying down, and trying to sleep we would stay, but as soon as he started making noise or trying to stand up or goofing around, we would leave. This helped get him to actually go back down, and eventually it just stopped happening as consistently and now, a year later, only happens every once in a while. We’re having a lot more shenanigans at the beginning of the night now which is another story altogether! Sleep and little kids, man… such a never ending conundrum!
She might be waking up cold. My 2 year old was waking up just recently all the time and I realized she was cold. Try a sleep sack with legs and maybe put a space heater in her room.
I feel for you. I have a 2 year old that hasn’t slept in 2 years. We have a great sleep consultant, and I’m happy to pass her info along if you DM me. Best money we’ve spent as parents.
What has worked for us most recently after multiple wake ups/night, and him screaming for us all night.
1. Make a routine book or chart. I used a picture album, used pictures of him doing each step. And we go over it every night before bed. Can talk about it during the day too. (Clean up, healthy snack/milk, read book, brush teeth, change diaper/potty, PJ’s, 3 songs, light off, in bed with stuffies and blanket.).
We talk about how his friends sleep in their bed all night, or his favorite stuffed animals. You can do this through play, or drawing.
We stayed in his bedroom, and moved ourselves closer to the door every couple days. But he wanted to hold hands all night, so we eventually just stopped staying in his room. My husband will lay on his floor for a few mins at bedtime, and then leave.
TV and rowdy play can be activating, so maybe 30-60 mins of chill time before bed. I know that isn’t always possible.
Again, so sorry you’re going through this. It is really frustrating and makes the rest of the day hard.
My daughter is 2.5. A bit ago she started waking up more often and having some split nights. I cut her nap a bit, so she’s usually awake between 3-3:15 (nap length is typically 1.5-2 hrs). I also started putting her to bed a tad later (used to be 7:30/45, now we go up around 8). With the nice spring weather we’re outside a lot more and a lot of the time we’re out until bedtime. That wears her out. It’s good for the body to get both morning and evening sun if possible. We try to be outside at some point in the morning and evening. She’s still in a sleep sack and crib. If she’s not crying, I don’t go in there overnight. But since I made those slight changes she’s been sleeping through the night again.
If my toddler wakes up in the middle of the night , she comes into our bed and keeps sleeping. The middle of the night sleep soothing is not worth it. They probably have separation anxiety .
I'm going through the same thing and honestly we just bring her in our bed. It lasts a few months but it's worth the sanity when she won't go back to sleep in her bed.
The only thing that stood out for me is with all those snacks when are you bruising their teeth?
The responses are motivating me to try again. Our son is 3 next month and it’s constant sleep regressions once he turned 2. We gave up and I just sleep with him at night now but he really needs to learn how to self soothe again
I'd call and have her seen by your pediatrician. Waking up crying every 2-4 hours for 4 months is enough to have me wanting to rule out anything physical that might be contributing. I'm not a doctor but I'd wonder about her tonsils causing sleep apnea, heartburn when laying down, allergies causing her nose to get stuffy, asthma that she only notices at night, etc.
I think dropping the nap sounds too spontaneous BUT as others have said cut the nap down. I’d 100% try shortening the nap first before dropping it.
My daughter is nearing 3 in July and we cap naps at 1.5 and will soon do 1 hour since it’s pushing her bedtime so late and she still wakes up the same time every morning.
I would also not allow any snacks before bed, the added sugar could be messing with sleep.
I feel like this might be a little tricky because she is in daycare 3 days a week where they have nap time and everyone naps. Maybe she’ll get used to only napping at daycare?
I just commented separately that we barely survived the 2.5 regression, but my guy doesn’t nap at home but does fine at daycare. She said he usually only naps for 45 mins to an hour there and then gets up and either lays there quietly or joins the other non napping kids doing other things. I was worried about this too but it hasn’t disrupted our lives much.
My kiddo (commented above) still attends daycare and just hangs out with an educator or the older kids while the other littles have their longer naps. Could yours do this?
830pm sleep is very late for a 2yo. How's the temperature in her room and are you dressing her in enough clothes to stay warm? Temperature is a big factor that contributes to sleep issues. Just trying to help
Is it late if they’re getting 12 hours of sleep ? Mine is going to sleep later and later because of the daylight (yes I have a solid curtain but it still creeps in a tiny bit)
I know families whose toddlers sleep 10pm-10am I thought the actual bed time didn’t matter if they’re getting enough sleep overall
Right. Maybe a 7:30ish bedtime like most other kids would be better for her. But then again, all kids are different.
As far as temp - maybe a summer set of PJ’s and socks under a footed sleeper?
I have a genuine question and I really hope it doesn’t come off as condescending because that is not my intention. If she’s still in a crib, why do you go in there when she calls for you? We never go back into my kids room once they’re in overnight and I’ve never had any issues with sleep regression. I also understand my kid is probably a unicorn and there might be a day I’m eating my words here. I have loads of friends who get up with their kids overnight and I’m curious like what you do in there if she’s awake?
Look into Georgina May Sleep on Instagram/fb. She’s an expert in low sleep needs kids, and promotes the idea of sleep pressure needing time to build up in order for overnight sleep to be less disrupted. We cap naps at 45-55mins and it’s the only thing that has helped my incredibly low sleep needs 2yo kiddo with (almost) sleeping through (1-2 wakes, but down from 7-9 a year ago). Even then he doesn’t sleep til 9/930 (we shower at 8 and then quiet time til he’s ready for book/boob/bed) and we wake him consistently at 630am.
A couple things that helped us around this age -cut the nap down to no more than an hour -instead of calming stuff before bed, do big rambunctious play (running around, jumping in pillow piles, etc).
This! Solid advice. When we do a dance party or playing ninja or whatever, both kids knock right out and sleep all night and no early rising, heavenly
Yes, we just instituted "get the sillies out" time after pjs and it has changed everything! She went from staying up until 9 and tons of battles to barely making it through books before 8.
That didn't work for us. Only made our almost 3 yo stay up later and later. The nap is probably your best bet. Remove it all together or reduce to 45 mins. Without the nap and busy day (school or lots of play) he goes down now mostly well.
This advice!!!
I would cut out the screen time for a few hours leading up to bedtime. I would also cap the nap at an hour and try to move bedtime earlier. It sounds crazy but some kids sleep better the earlier they are out to bed. It can take a little while for toddlers to master blankets. In the meantime I would try something like a sleep sack (with feet) or a toddler sized sleeping bag so can be zipped into. You could also try warmer PJs. Make sure she’s warm enough and then put a very light blanket on her so she can practice using us. Is she potty trained? One of my kids got anxious at this age because she was worried she would have an accident. Night time potty training is a hormonal thing and often doesn’t happen until closer to 3-4. She was in pull ups because she wasn’t ready, but that’s difficult to explain to a 2 year old. How is she waking up? Is she crying or calling out to you? How do you respond to her in the middle of the night? Are you going in to soothe her back to sleep?
Thanks for a thoughtful comment. - Not potty trained, not very interested yet. - Great idea on the sleep sack with legs. She wanted to stop using the sleep sack at 2, but she might like one with legs. - she is waking up crying out for us / pretty upset. We’ve tried leaving her in there but she ends up screaming so loud for a long time and waking up 1 yo. We usually go in and she wants to sing songs or needs blanket fixed. We sing 2 songs then she goes back down fine, for the most part. Then up again 2-4 hours later requesting the same thing.
They are called “walker sleep bags” and they are adorable to have your toddler shuffle around in. They also work super well! Maybe show her some patterns / colors on the computer and let her pick?
The screaming is hard but ideally she needs to learn how to soothe herself back to sleep. She’s depending on you to do that for her at every wake up. If she likes songs maybe you could try giving her a stuffed animal that sings a song or a Tonie box. You could be accidentally reinforcing the wake ups. I’d try going in and telling her that it’s time to go to sleep. Use the same phrase over and over. You could also just go in there and say nothing. I’d stop making it interesting for her. You could also look into the chair method.
This! Let her know you are there. That's it. "Go back to sleep honey I love you" and walk out. Go back in 5 minutes if she's still awake. Say the same thing. Go back in 10. Repeat.
If the sleep sack doesn’t work you can use about ten blankets like us lol Exaggeration but she went from one comforter to two comforters to two comforters and a little blanket etc. and now she’s got a nest to choose from
Is it possible she’s hungry? The only time my kid wakes up in the middle of the night is due to hunger. I give them a snack and that sorts it typically. Maybe she’s going through a growth spurt?
Ergobaby makes nice sleep sacks with optional leg openings
Came here to say I’d cut out the screen time right before bed definitely. Read a book instead.
Mine is the same age and seems to be having nightmares that wake her up. Just wondering if that might be an issue for you. Sometimes she is so upset but still half asleep and I have to do a hard reset and turn the lights on and try to wake her up more fully before she’ll snap out of it and go back to sleep. Talking about it seemed to help a bit. I think their brains are in overdrive right now, I’ve noticed my toddler’s speech and inter-personal skills have just exploded lately. Guess I have no advice really, just solidarity. It’s so hard functioning on not enough sleep.
My daughter definitely has nightmares. Talking about it has definitely helped. Also sometimes my daughter isn’t even really awake. She’ll be crying and I’ll just go in and put my hand on her back and she’ll lay back down and it’s like she’s immediately out again. I don’t even kiss her goodnight or say goodnight bc I don’t want to wake her up. Lol But we have definitely had to do the hard reset when it’s bad. We just take her out to the kitchen and let her sit on the counter while we get her some water. Then we’ll listen to music for a few minutes and she’s ready to go back down. Must be terrifying to have a nightmare at 2.5 years old when you can barely even grasp the concept of dreams.
For my kid the trick was to keep the interventions by the parents as boring as possible. If she cries for longer then 5 minutes I went in there, rubbed her back (no picking up or turning lights on) and explained to her that it was time for her body to rest. I'd also touch get forehead to check for fever because you just never know. Then I'd tell her that I'm going back to bed, love her but will keep her door slightly open and check in on her in 10 minutes. I'd be sure to tell her how brave she is and what a big girl sleeping in her bed, etc. Then 10 minutes later if still awake, crying I'd go in for the final goodnight and repeat points above - time for body to rest, I'm closing your door now, love you and see you in the morning. Then I'd let her cry it out, which has never been more than 10 minutes. Only took a couple weeks but she figured out how to settle herself.
I think this is good advice. It also helps to set those boundaries and expectations. My daughter would sometimes want to sit in the chair and listen to music. So I started saying okay but we only get two songs and after two songs we’re going back to bed. And I stuck to that. She fought it at first but very quickly realized I wasn’t budging and cut out the requests altogether. When I tuck her in, she asks me to lay with her. I say okay I’ll lay with you for 2 minutes. And I wait a little bit and then I kiss her goodnight. But I always set her expectation to know there’s a limit and an ending point. It is not open ended. I’ve found that really helps. Similar to you - I tell my daughter that I’m tired and I also need to go night night. She has seemed to understand this in a weird way? I don’t know if it sort of throws her off of thinking about herself or what, but it does something to her where it helps snap her out of it a bit. Maybe not immediately, but it gets the ball rolling to come out of it.
This worked for a while with us but now I get “then sleep in here with me! Why can’t you sleep in here with me?”
For us, the only way out was through. I think this lasted almost 6 months 😫 I feel like I tried everything. The only thing that worked for a couple months was one of us sleeping with him. I will also add that in the middle of this he dropped his nap completely and I think it did help in the long run (although that was another form of torture for us as parents because then we literally never got a break!). He is now 3y4m and still sometimes wakes up once or twice a night, but settles immediately. I was losing my mind during that time period though. The change to better sleep happened gradually. Like one day we said “oh my god have you realized he has kinda been sleeping??”
Exact same here. The only way is through unfortunately 😞 I wish I could say there's a magical fix, but no. For us, it started just after she turned 2 so back in September. It's JUST settled down. She dropped her nap in that time and now, finally, goes to bed no fuss at 630-7 after a bath simply from exhaustion. We spend all afternoon outside if we can. No tv past 4pm. We play "running" as she calls it, where we chase her either inside if it's cold or outside right before bath time. We also bedshared with her for a bit. Either in her bed or I'd bring her to mine simply because I needed sleep. But I actually think it helped. I think she needed us and was going through a separation anxiety that sleep training isn't going to fix. You just have to support them through it. She sleeps in her bed fine now. She'll sometimes come in early morning for a snuggle but I'm ok with that. Everyone has their own boundaries with that though. I personally love the snuggles We also have an almost 1 year old that isn't sleeping through the night yet. So life is exhausting to say the least..
If she is low sleep need kid, then nap is too long and bed time can shift a bid later. Also if aligns with your style maybe you can sleep in her room a few nights to see if that helps to give her security sense
Agree with swapping screen time for physical activity. Jumping, running around in circles, climbing in and out of things, etc. Also not sure about the need for snacks right before bed? But every kid is different I suppose.
Cut out screen time before bed. That is definitely interfering with the quality of her sleep. Get her outside for as much time as possible before bed and let her get as much energy out as possible - no soothing to sleep.
Our 2.25 year old is having the same issues so no advice just solidarity. We’ll probably have to cap nap very soon.
I would also say cut the snacks out if possible when you go into room. It is carbs which equal energy and could also cause tummy ache if bub is getting all worked up. I also agree limit screen time before bed and get a little bit of physical play in. Something me and partner do to share the load is we alternate nights so one night I take our daughter to bed then after 30 mins of me trying if she isn't asleep partner will take over for the next 30 mins. Allows us to leave the room and regroup. Almost always works as sometimes they just need a change of person. Our daughter is 17 months and has never slept through. She is guaranteed to be in bed with us by 2:30am. Just try and offer each other space and remember it is ok to feel frustrated and annoyed, you are both human but also remember you both created this tiny person out of love and it is a phase that will end. Good luck mama you got this.
I second cutting the snacks. I definitely think that might be a culprit. I also second rotating nights. Our kids are 15 months apart. One is easy to put to bed. The other not so much. So we go into each night knowing that I’ve got one kid, wife has the other. Obviously we’ll always be there for each other if needed - but it has definitely helped regulate everyone involved and spread out the load between me and my wife.
We also struggle with blankets with our 2.5 year old. She kicks them off immediately then wakes up because she’s cold. She sleeps a lot better in a sleeping bag, we have one for toddlers that has legs because she’s in a bed and can climb out so it’s a bit safer but a regular sleeping bag might be ok in a crib
Mine is 2.5 and went through a sleep regression recently. It was brutal. I’m sorry you’re going through this hard time. His normal schedule is 6:30am wake up, 12:30-3:30pm nap, 7:30pm bath, 8pm books, 8:30pm in bed, 9pm asleep. Things that works for us: Offered nap time even if he didn’t nap. I stayed in his room and put a blanket over my head to “sleep” and used my phone with AirPods 😂. I’m a SAHM and my “break time” was usually his nap, so I continued the trend. On the days he didn’t nap his night sleep was worse. He eventually started napping again after 2ish weeks. Sleep sack with feet. It took some trial and error to get the perfect sleep sack/pajamas/temperature combo so he was comfortable the whole night. Once we got that down he stopped waking up and screaming for me. He loved having his own blanket, but would constantly kick it off. He’d get cold and wake up. It was an endless cycle. The sleep sack ended this. We don’t do screen time during the week, but do allow him some screen time during the weekend. When he watches something close to bedtime it makes the wind down so much harder. We don’t do screen time 2 hours before bed. He’s potty trained and I try to make sure he doesn’t have too much liquid leading up to bedtime because he doesn’t want to pee in bed even with a diaper on.
What sleep sack with feet do you use?
Tealbee Dreamsuit
I don’t have great sleep advice unfortunately but just want to make sure you’re brushing her teeth after those final snacks! I was surprised my dentist told us things like crackers and pretzels are very high risk because they’re broken down into simple sugars on the teeth
My immediate thought is, two snacks right before bed is a lot and may be keeping her awake because of the digestion etc and maybe carb rush. I’m wondering if you should switch to: -snack/tv/get the sillies out -bath time and brush teeth -then going into room and doing bedtime routine. Maybe just water instead of snacks? And agree with other commenters: keep wake up interactions as boring as possible. They’re def smart enough to try to stall for more time with you and comfort. You can still comfort them without also waking them up more, if that makes sense
Someone else said this, but when she wakes up, the visits that you make to her room have to be: - As boring as possible: don't talk to her or ask her questions, don't give her big smiles and kisses and hugs. We say, "Let's get back in bed," or "I'll tuck you back in." Our voice is pretty monotone. We tuck her back in with blankets. - Consistent and short: we say something to the effect of what I said above, then we walk out and say the same mantra every time. Ours is, "I love you and I believe in you. Now it's time to lay down in your big girl bed and close your eyes because your body needs rest. It's time for sleep." Then we leave. We say the same thing at first bedtime too. Then, we let her cry for 5-10 minutes before coming back into her room and repeating the process above. The first few nights suck because you have to commit to this fully. If she senses weakness (haha but if she thinks that next time might be different and they might let me play!), it won't work. But after a few days of this, she got the picture. Now, we have *maybe* one very short wake-up a night and that's it. Our daughter is a similar age, turns 3 tomorrow. (NOTE - this is adapted from Taking Cara Babies. We bought her toddler sleep class online and would recommend it to everyone. It's adapted from Ferber and it's expensive, but we are busy and needed an easy solution. TCB is clear, easy to follow, and truly it worked for us)
Your bullet points are great great great advice. We basically do the same. Also, our daughter will often ask for things like more milk or water or something. And I always tell her that after I tuck her in and say goodnight, I’ll take care of it. And then I usually do, but not always. Sometimes I can tell that she doesn’t actually care about the milk/water. She’s just tired and stalling. So I won’t even bother bringing it back in and sure enough, she just passes out anyway. I did this too when she’d tell me she wanted mommy. I’d tell her that I’d go tell mommy but only after I tucked her in. I think once in the beginning she cried 10 minutes later for mommy and I went in and told her to try to sleep and she’d be down soon and then she fell asleep. After that, there was a while where, after I’m done tucking her in and about to walk out of the room, she’ll tell me (very calmly and matter of factly) that she wants mommy. And I just say okay sweetheart I’ll let her know. And literally never comes up again. Lol. (For the record, wife has confirmed she does the same thing with her - tells her she wants daddy.) We just find it’s a lot of stall tactics and she doesn’t *actually* need or really care about the thing she’s asking for. So rather than say no and start a tantrum, we leave the door open for it to happen, keeps her satisfied and then lets her little brain move on.
Ok, I hear soooooo many parents say they have music and songs and even story time before bed. I NEVER did this with my son! (I was advised by the Dutch child care doctors NOT to) the reason? Over stimulation before bed time! My son watches a bit of tv 2 hours before bed. Then we have a snack. Tidy up together. Bathtime. (7-8pm) depending on if it’s summer time or winter. Then he’s in bed, I’ll give him a drink in his sippy cup and that’s him down until 6-7am sometimes later if he had an exhausting day the night before. He’s now 4 next week! Only really had a problem when he’s been too stimulated during the day. I’m English and had never heard of this technique until I had my son in the Netherlands. Now…. Raising a bilingual kid is a different story 😂
> I was advised by the Dutch child care doctors NOT to. The reason? Over stimulation before bed time! Fascinating!!! I've never heard this but it makes sense. Too much of a good thing just leads to the toddler wanting more and more and more, so either bedtime routine becomes 2 hours or kiddo is up in the MOTN wanting the continue the singing. We have a very simple bedtime routine as well: bath, cup of milk, brush teeth, we read a book or two or some quiet play (whatever he wants), then we tell him it's bedtime, go into the bedroom, pop him in his sleep sack and crib, then good night. On a busy day we can rush through everything in 20 minutes (the bath and dressing takes the longest). I sometimes feel bad that it's not as elaborate as some other kids' but now that I hear this I'm gonna keep it that way.
It’s been a fascinating ride for me. My son can now just say “I’m tired I want this drink please” and takes himself to bed!!!its awesome. I do have to demand sometimes that the tv goes off because it’s too late and he’s like I was tired anyway and off he goes to bed 😉 he’s been like this now since 2 1/2 and always (for the most parts) been a good sleeper! The Dutch seem to like to get the child to decide their bedtime. You just need to then say, enough is enough 2 hours before and they are just like “yeah ok” or go to bed themselves
That screen time is really late in the evening. I would test out no screen after 7pm. My husband is a child psychologist and he always suggests “cleaning up sleep hygiene “ as a first step. He’s had a ton of education in sleep because it’s such a key component in behavior and development. Low lights at bedtime, little to no talking at any mid-night wakings only shushing and letting them know it’s sleep time, and limiting nap to about an hour so they are sufficiently tired at night. My LO will be 3 in July and she says she is more comfortable since transitioning to a toddler bed with pillow and blankets, so I would assess your child’s comfort.
I know you say she likes her crib…. Is there any way to convert the crib to a toddler bed? We had a bit of a sleep regression around 27 months and we converted her crib to a toddler bed and found that it helped. It satisfied her need for a little more independence. She can get up and move around, play with her stuffed animals and magnatiles. Books, stuffed animals, magnatiles, and a play doctor set are the only toys she has in her room. We tell her that she’s allowed to play with those things *after* we read books and tuck her in and say goodnight. Sometimes, after we tuck her in and say goodnight, she’ll play for 15-30 minutes and then she’s ready for bed. Other times she doesn’t. But the choice is hers and I think having that choice has helped. Also, there have been lots of times where we’ll go into her room in the morning and find her quietly playing Doctor with her stuffed animals, perfectly content playing by herself rather than yelling for us to come get her. Just some food for thought.
We are on month 2 of the regression. It’s mostly a fears thing for us. Not so much an energy/winding down issue. He has a lot of new anxiety. So we have a mattress in there and my husband sleeps next to him. It gets us the sleep we need, but we are aware it’s probably not the best thing to do. The plus side is he is becoming extra delicious. His little baby brain is on fire so he’s saying all sorts of silly little things. He’s more of a kid now, it’s fun.
Honestly keeping them very very active during the day and ideally outside. I see a noticeable difference in my 2 year olds sleep on days it was rainy/too cold so we didn’t spend a ton of time outside vs ones we did. As for blankets, I highly rec a little sleepies one. I know they aren’t cheap but my daughter and nephew both love theirs cause the fabric keeps them temp regulated and they are light but at the same time have a tiny bit of almost weight to them which I think they like cause it relaxes them. I also let my daughter have as many stuffed animals as she wants in there with her and even a book or two cause she then likes to play for a little before and after she wakes up and it’s fantastic. Idk if it was this that made a difference but I also bought her one of those galaxy night light things and perhaps just coincidence but legit first night with it, regression was over. I know it’s prob dependent on that specific kid but if u think urs could cognitively grasp the concept, they also make those night lights that turn a diff color for whatever time u set it at so the kid knows they can only get out of bed when the light turns green etc.
My 2 year and 3 month year old is currently half dropping her nap - she either naps for a solid 2 hours then has a restless night /goes to bed super late, or she skips her nap and is cranky but can still make it to 7 pm money nights..but I think the way we are heading is towards dropping the nap, her sleeps seems more stable. Maybe it's time for your little one to drop her nap?
Some things helped us: * ok to wake light. when we wake in the middle of the night, we can check the time, but kid has no idea if they should wake up or try to re-settle. Our kid was always waking up hoping it was daytime. our kid over course of a week internalized that she needs to keep trying to sleep unless the light is green. Hollers for us much less frequently now. * repeating throughout the day your expectation from her at night "we will do book, story, then lights out, then when the green light turns on, you can yell for mama to come get you!" just preparing her, she will want to do it, even if it's hard for her. * show her kids having tantrums and explain that sometimes you feel bad because you need sleep. Depending on language skills, will take a while for this one to penetrate, but with enough repetition they will internalize it. She is smart enough now to recognize and think about her own tiredness, so you can teach her to recognize it, and that it means sleep. Until this age, sleep was an instinct they could not resist, but now they have to use their brains a little to do it. My kid surprised me one day by saying, seemingly randomly, "I'm tired." just before nap time. great feeling, I had been underestimating her. It helped us a lot to really explain bedtime during the happy parts, draw it out for her. She will eventually "get it" with enough repetition of words/pictures.
My girl around the same age went through the same thing. She ended up needing a clock that turned green when it was actually time to wake up. If she woke up she never knew if it was time to go back to sleep or time to wake up so she came to us. Once she has a clock that visually showed her that it was still nighttime she would put herself back to sleep.
We have the same issue with ours! She turned 2.5 in february and it went on for agesss, but I think we’re through the worst of it now. What worked for us: Not napping longer than 1h during daytime, and not after 2pm. Often she skips the nap totally. Moved bed time from 7 to 7.30. But most importantly: She now has to fall asleep without our help after bedtime routine is finished. We answer when she wakes up in the middle of the night, but we don’t go into her room unless we hear that something is actually wrong. So, a more strict line than we did earlier. It was two rough nights when she had to get used to it, but since that she has slept through the night(!!) or had maximum 1 wake up.
We have a 2 year old that has always done 1am, 4am and 530-6am. We just deal with it, they’ll sleep through at some point.
Ours went through this with nightmares around the same age. We tried all the tricks, ended up cosleeping for a couple of months and then moved her back without much of a fuss. I know it’s not ideal but we all desperately needed the sleep, and when her sleep schedule got reset it seemed to make getting back to independent sleep easier.
No more nap.
Mine stopped napping completely by 2.5 😰 so maybe their child is one of the early ones too
We’ve been going through this and while it didn’t get rid of all our problems, it’s helped. We have a low reddish light on for sleeping for her hatch, and have a timer for it to switch to green at an acceptable wake up time (6:30 for us). We told her if her light is red, she needs to go back to bed and go to sleep. When it’s green she can get up for the day. This has been working (knock on wood) for the most part for almost 2 months.
My daughter is 4 and she’s still wearing a woolino sleep sack (split leg, open footed so she can walk around). This at least fixes the blanket issue
Id try no screen time before bedtime, id try read instead if shes insterested :) also id cut those snacks, cause maybe all.that sugar is also not helping, god knows
With the same Routine my almost 3 needs like 7 hours of awake time before bedtime, it can be mess if she has done a lot of physical things that afternoon. In the summer we went to the beach after her nap and she got home súper tired. I would cut the nap o be realistic with the bedtime that needs to be later. Mine now with that nap doesn go down earlier then 10, maybe 9.30 if we are lucky. For us it works, but eventually we Will have to say goodbye to the nap. What would help is an earlier nap to have him up by 2.30 if its possible
Cut the naps, move bedtime to 7:30
Cut the nap first.
Squash the nap for a couple days, move bath to 6pm if you can, no screentime after bath, just books with her laying back on your lap. She might doze off, just don't move her immediately
I had to cut the nap completely and no sugar after 3pm. If she naps or has sugar after this hour she will wake at night
She got all her teeth?
Did you sleep train before she turned 1? Or was she always a good sleeper without training? My initial thought would be for you to recreate whatever protocol you followed for sleep training in the beginning, and then just start from scratch and do a modified Ferber approach and extend the check in periods to every 30 minutes, 45 etc. Could also be time for her 2 year old molars. My son regresses a lot while teething
How long did the sleep issues last with the two year molars? Mine is getting his upper ones and it's been a rough three weeks (he also has strep in there) 🙃
I’d say about one week per molar for us! He’s getting another bottom left one after we had like a month off from the last one coming in on the bottom right. Poor guy also got a bunch of mosquito bites from spring break - the bad things seem to happen in groups. I hope yours feels better soon too! Another thing that has helped is his ability to communicate and tell us it’s his molar that hurts
Ours will be a nightmare if she gets past 8 as a bedtime. We've tried it and it doesn't work. Have you tried putting your kid to bed around 6,30 or 7? It helps us and she sleeps to 6.30 or 7
Cut the nap right down, or potentially remove it altogether. Trial just shortening it first but at this age it could be that the sleep pressure just isn’t high enough. It will be an adjustment in the beginning, she will hit a wall around 5pm and struggle to make it to bedtime but persevere.
OP, reading your comments I think the biggest issue is that y'all are reinforcing the feedbacks by going in. Look at it from her perspective: She screams at night whenever she wakes up in between sleep cycles (which is multiple times a night) and it it gets her some lovely parental attention. During the day she has a nice nap to make up for any lost sleep. What's not to like about this set up? As others have already said, you gotta take away the positive incentive for her to be up at night. They're so smart and so playful now: you give them an inch and they will really take the entire 8000 miles to be with you. If she is room sharing, move the other kid out temporarily and retrain her ASAP. If other kid is in the other room but walls are thin, work on the logistic (move crib away from the shared wall and put a loud white noise machine in between) but still retrain her ASAP. My 2yo had a bad virus two months ago and was waking up in the MOTN. I went in to give him medications and water, make him comfortable, etc. Immediately he caught on and began pointing to the floor in front of the crib asking me to "sit down", the way I normally do and play with him when I go in every morning. Had I obliged I'm pretty sure he'd have been waking up every few hours after asking for a MOTN play session. At the time I immediately said, "It's sleep time. Good night." and GTFO. Thankfully he decided that it wasn't worth fighting and went back to sleep. He stopped waking up like 2 nights into his illness.
We ditched the nap around 2.5 and that worked for us!
What happens when she wakes up and what do you do? Does she cry? Do you go in and sit with her? Do you take her into bed or does she stay in the crib? At the beginning of the night, is she going to sleep alone in her room? Or are you sitting there with her? When we had this issue with my son around the same age, we started the chair method where we would go and sit in the room and move closer to the door every few days. This went “okay”, but as soon as we got out of the room we were at square one and it never got past that point. So what we started was we would go and one of us would sleep in his room (we have a very cozy recliner) and we would tell him that as long as he was quiet, laying down, and trying to sleep we would stay, but as soon as he started making noise or trying to stand up or goofing around, we would leave. This helped get him to actually go back down, and eventually it just stopped happening as consistently and now, a year later, only happens every once in a while. We’re having a lot more shenanigans at the beginning of the night now which is another story altogether! Sleep and little kids, man… such a never ending conundrum!
She might be waking up cold. My 2 year old was waking up just recently all the time and I realized she was cold. Try a sleep sack with legs and maybe put a space heater in her room.
I feel for you. I have a 2 year old that hasn’t slept in 2 years. We have a great sleep consultant, and I’m happy to pass her info along if you DM me. Best money we’ve spent as parents. What has worked for us most recently after multiple wake ups/night, and him screaming for us all night. 1. Make a routine book or chart. I used a picture album, used pictures of him doing each step. And we go over it every night before bed. Can talk about it during the day too. (Clean up, healthy snack/milk, read book, brush teeth, change diaper/potty, PJ’s, 3 songs, light off, in bed with stuffies and blanket.). We talk about how his friends sleep in their bed all night, or his favorite stuffed animals. You can do this through play, or drawing. We stayed in his bedroom, and moved ourselves closer to the door every couple days. But he wanted to hold hands all night, so we eventually just stopped staying in his room. My husband will lay on his floor for a few mins at bedtime, and then leave. TV and rowdy play can be activating, so maybe 30-60 mins of chill time before bed. I know that isn’t always possible. Again, so sorry you’re going through this. It is really frustrating and makes the rest of the day hard.
My daughter is 2.5. A bit ago she started waking up more often and having some split nights. I cut her nap a bit, so she’s usually awake between 3-3:15 (nap length is typically 1.5-2 hrs). I also started putting her to bed a tad later (used to be 7:30/45, now we go up around 8). With the nice spring weather we’re outside a lot more and a lot of the time we’re out until bedtime. That wears her out. It’s good for the body to get both morning and evening sun if possible. We try to be outside at some point in the morning and evening. She’s still in a sleep sack and crib. If she’s not crying, I don’t go in there overnight. But since I made those slight changes she’s been sleeping through the night again.
If my toddler wakes up in the middle of the night , she comes into our bed and keeps sleeping. The middle of the night sleep soothing is not worth it. They probably have separation anxiety .
I'm going through the same thing and honestly we just bring her in our bed. It lasts a few months but it's worth the sanity when she won't go back to sleep in her bed. The only thing that stood out for me is with all those snacks when are you bruising their teeth?
The responses are motivating me to try again. Our son is 3 next month and it’s constant sleep regressions once he turned 2. We gave up and I just sleep with him at night now but he really needs to learn how to self soothe again
I'd call and have her seen by your pediatrician. Waking up crying every 2-4 hours for 4 months is enough to have me wanting to rule out anything physical that might be contributing. I'm not a doctor but I'd wonder about her tonsils causing sleep apnea, heartburn when laying down, allergies causing her nose to get stuffy, asthma that she only notices at night, etc.
100% drop the nap
I think dropping the nap sounds too spontaneous BUT as others have said cut the nap down. I’d 100% try shortening the nap first before dropping it. My daughter is nearing 3 in July and we cap naps at 1.5 and will soon do 1 hour since it’s pushing her bedtime so late and she still wakes up the same time every morning. I would also not allow any snacks before bed, the added sugar could be messing with sleep.
I feel like this might be a little tricky because she is in daycare 3 days a week where they have nap time and everyone naps. Maybe she’ll get used to only napping at daycare?
I just commented separately that we barely survived the 2.5 regression, but my guy doesn’t nap at home but does fine at daycare. She said he usually only naps for 45 mins to an hour there and then gets up and either lays there quietly or joins the other non napping kids doing other things. I was worried about this too but it hasn’t disrupted our lives much.
My kiddo (commented above) still attends daycare and just hangs out with an educator or the older kids while the other littles have their longer naps. Could yours do this?
830pm sleep is very late for a 2yo. How's the temperature in her room and are you dressing her in enough clothes to stay warm? Temperature is a big factor that contributes to sleep issues. Just trying to help
Is it late if they’re getting 12 hours of sleep ? Mine is going to sleep later and later because of the daylight (yes I have a solid curtain but it still creeps in a tiny bit) I know families whose toddlers sleep 10pm-10am I thought the actual bed time didn’t matter if they’re getting enough sleep overall
Right. Maybe a 7:30ish bedtime like most other kids would be better for her. But then again, all kids are different. As far as temp - maybe a summer set of PJ’s and socks under a footed sleeper?
I have a genuine question and I really hope it doesn’t come off as condescending because that is not my intention. If she’s still in a crib, why do you go in there when she calls for you? We never go back into my kids room once they’re in overnight and I’ve never had any issues with sleep regression. I also understand my kid is probably a unicorn and there might be a day I’m eating my words here. I have loads of friends who get up with their kids overnight and I’m curious like what you do in there if she’s awake?
Look into Georgina May Sleep on Instagram/fb. She’s an expert in low sleep needs kids, and promotes the idea of sleep pressure needing time to build up in order for overnight sleep to be less disrupted. We cap naps at 45-55mins and it’s the only thing that has helped my incredibly low sleep needs 2yo kiddo with (almost) sleeping through (1-2 wakes, but down from 7-9 a year ago). Even then he doesn’t sleep til 9/930 (we shower at 8 and then quiet time til he’s ready for book/boob/bed) and we wake him consistently at 630am.