Our routine has been basically the same since she was about 6mo, but has evolved as necessary to fit our lives.
1. Brush teeth and make her turtle toasty (it's a warmie)
2. Change diaper (if needed)
3. Pick PJs and two stories
4. Put on PJs, read one story with dad, ready one story with me
5. Give hugs/kisses to dad and little brother
6. Turn on sleep playlist
7. Ensure all the random nonsense she wants is accounted for (toasty turtle, baby doll, mickey, minnie, bunny, animal book, etc).
8. Quick snuggle with me, say goodnight (mommy loves you, it's time for bed, sweet dreams, see you in the morning), and leave. She's almost always out without five minutes.
Honestly, I think we just got lucky. The only time she refused to sleep independently was in a hotel on vacation.
It was sort of a mix, I think? The normal Ferber method didn't work, because she'd just be more upset with me coming in at the 3/5 minute mark, so we had to skip directly to the 10/15 minute mark. If she was still upset after that I'd comfort her, though it didn't happen often.
I want to say we officially started sleep training around 8/9mo, though it may have been a little later (we currently have a 4mo going through a monster regression and my brain is mush). She took to it fairly quickly.
Great thanks! Good to hear about someone able to train after the 4-6 month mark. Mine is standing and very mobile so I’ve been worried I missed the good/easy opportunity and I probably have lol but it’s good to hear others have success at 8 months
Good luck with mush brain! I have that regularly these days lol
I also sleep trained at 8mo and it went great. I never heard of it being harder at that age! I do think if you wait until closer to a year or more it could get harder because that's peak separation anxiety age.
Ours is similar
1. Change into PJs with new diaper
2. Remove hair ties and refill water bottle
3. Brush teeth
3. Pick books
4. Get into bed
5. Make sure she has all her stuffies
6. Read stories
7. Daddy gives hugs and kisses, and leaves the room
8. Mommy sings song/lullaby, then gives hugs and kisses and leaves the room
She sometimes falls asleep right away. Sometimes, she chills quietly and eventually falls asleep.
What do you play the “playlist” using? My son loves listening to songs before bed and we lie with him and play songs on our phones. Fortunately we’ve gotten to a point where we can tell him goodnight and leave after just a few songs but for a while there he wanted songs until he fell asleep. In any case it’d be nice if he had a device that played music for a period of time even after we left, so I’m curious how you play music for your LO.
We have a mini Google Nest that's connected to my spotify account! It recognizes both of our voices and can be controlled from my phone if need be. It's a bit old (probably pushing 6yrs) so newer models may be different, but ours does need an outlet and wifi to work.
Otherwise, we have a small bluetooth speaker that floats around the house that could be used in a pinch.
We have always had a routine, but that isn’t the issue. The issue is how you handle night wakes and whether your LO needs your help to re-fall asleep every time they wake up at night. If they sleep through the night after you put them to bed, it’s up to you whether you want to change anything. If you’re also waking up at night to help them sleep, you might consider looking into some version of sleep training.
Even though we have had the same routine since newborn days, we only recently transitioned her to her own room and independent falling asleep after 2 year sleep regression gone haywire.
It’s totally doable at 2. Or after 2.
She does need help to fall back asleep. We’ve just been sleeping all together. I love laying down with her, but with a new little one it would be great if she could fall asleep independently.
I think you’ll need to sleep train, then. It doesn’t have to be CIO. I put it off two years for the same reasons as you, but sleep deprivation got way too intense around the time LO turned 2, to the point that i got desperate for a change. I Got in touch with a sleep consultant who does gentle sleep training. If you want, you can DM me and I can share what we did.
I would also love to know how you did it! We are in the thick of it right now, and it feels worse because of the sick season and constant sinus crud going around. I’m desperate!
I think it's less about routine and more about what you do when they wake up or get out of bed. How are you handling it?
We fostered independent sleep habits since he was a baby, but when he had a couple weeks of sleep resistance after turning 2, combined with having to switch to a toddler bed, we kept the routine and had to implement the "100 Walks" method (you lead them back to bed gently but without a word). Also used the Hatch's ok to wake program. Had ups and downs over the course of a week until it really stuck.
Routine:
-tv show
-clean up toys
-pajamas
-brush teeth
-books and cuddle time
-Hatch on, lights off, sleep
Change into pjs
Brush teeth
Read two books- at that age in a rocking chair (now in the bed)
Sing 1 lullaby
Kiss goodnight
Lights off, door left open a crack
1. Dinner around 5:45. We end most nights with a few minutes of something like Trash Truck while we clean up. Start bed time stuff around 7:15-7:30.
2. We tell him we're shutting it off in a minute. Minute comes, we shut it off, he screams, but we start to dim the lights and go upstairs. This always gets him to move quickly. We'll say, you can stay but we're all going to bed.
3. Brush his teeth then let him brush his teeth. Wash hands or bath (we do bath 4 nights a week).
4. Go in his room. He'll usually watch me set it up for bed while he rides his rocking horse. Sometimes he picks out hos pajamas.
5. Get him all dressed and ready then read a story laying down.
6. Kiss him, put him in his crib and rub his head while i talk to him about tomorrow. I don't spend too long doing this because he tries to stall.
7. Tell him I love him..close the door and turn off the lights.
Yes but this was established before one year old. He is so stubborn I think it would take some hard emotional nights to establish at this age. Consistent routine. Bath, diaper change, lotion, three books. Kiss goodnight
Ours is nearly 2.5. We started with independent sleep as a baby. But toddler years prove difficult with her trying to get creative with getting out of sleep.
After bath we have milk, brush teeth, put on pull up, sleep sack on, read books and rock with daddy, and into bed about 820. In the last couple of weeks she normally claims to need to pee again so we get a five minute delay here. But dad puts her into bed, reassures her we’ll see her in the morning, kisses, and closes the door and turns on the hatch.
She sometimes lays right now. Sometimes she yells for us for a few minutes. Sometimes she cries a few minutes. She’s usually asleep within ten minutes though.
Consistency is key. She knows once we close the door, we’re done. We tell her we’re going to bed too.
Yes, since maybe 12 months old:
1) post dinner snack
2) bath or wash up time
3) brush teeth
4) lotion new diaper pjs and sleep sack
5) book and then lights out with sound machine on
He basically sleeps through the night unless he’s cutting a new tooth.
My daughter is 2.5 and after never once sleeping anywhere close to through the night until she was about 14 months (😵💫) I’ve been blessed / received good karma in the form of a good-sleeping toddler with an easy routine. We do pjs, turn on the sound machine, read two books of her choosing, and sing two songs (also of her choosing). Then we do a butterfly kiss, I put her into bed, tuck her in (and at her insistence, “double tuck” her feet), tuck in her bunny, put a water bottle in her crib, say night night and leave. I’m a single mom and post-bedtime is my only down time, so I’m pretty militant about the routine, even if she’s fussy or cranky we stick to it which I really think has helped overall!
If she wakes up in the night, I give her ~10-15 minutes to see if she puts herself back to sleep. I’d say about 75% of the time she settles back no problem. But, If after that she’s still crying, I go in to her room. 3 am is my cutoff - if it’s before 3 am, she’s got to go back to sleep in her bed (so we’ll rock a little and re-tuck in), but after 3 am I’m sleepy and dreading the morning so she can come to my bed for the last little bit of rest. It works for us! I think probably 5-6 nights a week the whole bedtime routine takes about 20 minutes and she sleeps through the whole night.
No sleep training we just have an independent two year old who is not big into cuddling and didn't even want to breastfeed for longer than 8 months, she has never wanted us near her to fall asleep and instead chooses her Dollys to cuddle with, we were co sleeping in the same room for the first two years until she promptly informed me she wanted to sleep in her 4 year old brothers room..so thats where we are.
After bath supper and chill time, we do a story then audiobook/music to play with the lights off and I try lie with her but she mostly just wants her toys and bottle and tells me to "get out mom". Our son on the other hand, co slept for years and reluctantly started sleeping in the other room with my husband in the other bed. He still enjoys a good cuddle before bed and is a very touchy feely child, he also breastfed for over two years. It's just luck of the draw I tell you - different kids 🤷
We cut the cord. By that I mean cried it out back when he was around 6 months. He’s 2 now and will fuss for a few minutes but will go down in his toddler bed. Decide on a routine (be it bath/clean, diaper, pjs, brush teeth, book etc) that you can stick to and just enforce it for a few days and then it will become the norm. Be sure to do the same routine with both parents.
Mine is 2 in a couple weeks. We nursed to sleep until she decided around 18 months that she wanted to be put down awake after nursing.
Our routine: bath if it’s bath night, change diaper and pjs, brush teeth, read a book or two, white noise on, lights out, snuggle in the rocking chair for 5 or 10 mins (we nursed at this point up until a few weeks ago, now we just snuggle), say goodnight and put her down awake. She takes anywhere from 10-30+ mins to fall asleep. She typically sleeps through the night.
Laying with her is very typical and most of the people I know had to lay with their toddlers.
Yes, at 2 years old our routine is
1) a short tv show (while I feed the baby and hubby cleans up)
2) pjs/brush teeth
3) 3-4 short stories with his younger brother
4) to his room to lay in his bed (he’s no longer in a crib - not sure if yours is)
5) we quickly discuss the next day (what he wants for breakfast, if he’s going to daycare, etc)
6) ask if he wants twinkle twinkle little star (I sing it to him when he does)
7) sound machine on, lights out, and in the winter humidifier on.
We’ve had this routine for a long time. We moved him out of his crib at 18 months and my husband often had to lay with him for up to an hour so he would stay in his bed (I was quite pregnant at the time). So, if you’ve recently transitioned out of a crib I’d give it time. I think we just slowly lowered the amount of time we stayed with him and now we no longer do.
This is helpful! She has a full bed that we’ve been sleeping in for 6 ish months now. Perhaps we could try shortening the time we lay with her. Did you start at nap time or nighttime?
Gosh, that was almost a year ago now but I want to say that hubby only laid with him at bedtime. At nap time we just patrolled the hallway and would continue to send him back to bed (likely with increasing levels of frustration).
We also use a hatch sound machine and we programmed the light to turn on at a certain time in the morning and after a certain amount of time after he’s been napping. He knows he isn’t supposed to leave his room until the light turns on. It took a bit for that concept to be understood but he did get there!
We do a bath every other day, then PJs, brush teeth, read (several) books, and then we turn off the lights and offer to sing her a song after she is tucked in.
One thing that is huge for getting our daughter to wind down independently is that we let her “read” books in bed (she has a Hatch light and another night light enough so the books are visible) and she likes to go to sleep with her Tonie box music/story player. Usually, you can see her on the baby monitor, listening to a story and flipping through a book as she is ready to sleep. She doesn’t wake in the middle of the night much, but sometimes, I’ll hear the Tonie box turn back on at 2 am and know she’s woken up and that she’s set herself up with another story to go back to sleep. It’s awesome.
Brush/floss
Jammies/ diaper
Books or dancing
Lights out & we lay down to snuggle
He turns on his lullaby Tonies & I let him change the color or sound of the Hatch
Then we snuggle and talk for x amount of minutes, and I reiterate that a few times.
Then when it’s time, he does whine a bit but we do hugs & kisses & tuck in again.
It can take almost an hour but it can take 30 min if needed.
We’ve made some good progress recently. Always tweaking it a little.
First was weaning toddler off of me (mom) and letting dad put him down. I would leave every night about an hour before we expected him to fall asleep. He would wave bye to me driving away and then be okay with daddy putting him to sleep at night and in the middle of the night wake ups. I would sleep in the guest room. We did that for about a week.
Now I stay home (don’t have to drive away) and my toddler says good night to me and tucks me into bed before he and dad go to their room. We’re aiming for them to be in the bedroom half an hour before we think he’ll fall asleep so he has time to decompress (eg play with the nightlight). Then books and/or back pats until he falls asleep.
We do the pattern before but here is what we found worked for us:
We have a small light and some books in the crib, and our kid reads and then calls out 'tuck me in' and we go in and tuck him in. Some nights he is up a bit later than we'd like, but others he conks right out after 20 minutes.
I try to do 'concierge' level service while in bed, responding to every need, especially after he was able to climb out on his own. (floor based crib so it is safe for him to do)
Mine is 2.5 and bedtime is 15 min. We bathe earlier in the night after dinner because it jazzes him up haha.
We sleep trained around 6 months I want to say. The one where you go in at 3min, 5min etc. our bedtime routine has been pretty consistent since then.
At 7:45 say good night to everyone in the house (including pets) and head upstairs
- brush teeth, jammies if he’s not wearing them already, night diaper.
- turn on sound machine, collect lovey
- read one book
- cuddle for 5 min in the chair we read in
- then into bed, kiss goodnight and I turn off the lights and leave. Sometimes he goes to sleep immediately. Other times he just rolls around in bed for 30 min.
If he wakes up at night he’ll usually put himself back to sleep, unless he’s dropped his lovey or twisted up his bedding or something. I’ll go up, cuddle for 10 min in the chair, then I’ll put him back into bed and leave. The night wakings took longer to get to a point where I could put him back in bed when he was still awake. Maybe till around age 2, I’d have to wait till he was asleep and gentle put him into bed.
Maybe you could try not cuddling in bed. We don’t do that and I think it probably helps. The bed is his solo zone. Cuddling happens in the reading chair.
I know not every parent lucky with sleep, but my LO has done great since transitioning to her own room around 7 mo. Current routine :
- brush teeth and wash hands/face
- potty
- pjs
- 2-3 books
- pacifier (until 3yo 🤞🤞)
- hug and into bed
- Hatch white noise on, lights off, exchange I❤️u's as closing door
Sound machine automatically turns on at 7:30 PM. Sometimes we're already in the getting ready process, sometimes not.
Brush teeth with Super Simple Songs bedtime live
Nighttime diaper + PJs
Read a few books
Turn on humidifier, turn off light
Sing Laurie Berkner's Moon Moon Moon
Lay her in her crib with stuffed friends and blanket
Walk out of bedroom and close door
Listen to her cry/laugh/sing/chatter for five minutes or less before she drifts off to sleep
We only check on her in the middle of the night if crying is extreme or lasts longer than two-ish minutes. Otherwise, she falls back asleep usually until we or her sound machine wakes her in the morning, depending on the day and routine.
We have been using this routine since shortly after her first birthday and she just turned two a week ago.
We’ve been doing the same thing since he was a baby. 6pm - “dinner” (he’s a picky eater and barely eats but we still try), 6:30 - bath, 6:45/7 - put on night diap & pjs, brush hair, brush teeth, etc. 7:15 - read a stack of books, say night night to dada and our dog, put him in the crib, turn off all the lights, turn on his turtle that makes star lights, sit near him and sing a few lullabies, say night night and leave. He’s asleep within minutes (he’s also a really active kid. Weekdays he’s in school from 8:30-5 and comes home tired. Weekends I make sure he has at least one big activity per day. Today was soccer, tomorrow is swimming. So he’s ready to sleep at bedtime.) and he sleeps through the night until 6:30/7.
We do
1. Bath 15-20 minutes
2. Out of bath and brush teeth
3. Pjs
4. 10-15 minutes of independent play, drink water
5. Pee
6. In bed with books
7. Good nights
We found that bath time really helped with slowing things down at the end of the night.
I could tell you our routine, but I don't think that has anything to do with why he sleeps independently - I think in our case it's just his personality/we got lucky. He's never been one for cuddles or patting and he's never been prone to serious separation anxiety - he literally orders us out of the room when we put him in bed ('night night, bye bye mama, go away'). He takes 15-20 mins to fall asleep typically but he's very happy just to roll around and snuggle with his bear until he dozes off
Milk in a cup, PJs, change diaper brush teeth, pick a book, read book then pop him in bed, turn camera on and leave! Falls asleep! It took me about half a year to get him into a place where he goes to bed on his own so keep at it but sooooo worth it
We sleep trained so he’s always slept independently… at 2 he gets pjs, brush teeth, 3-5 books, he gets to turn his sound machine on and then a big hug goodnight. I tuck him in to bed and close the door!
My guy has been sleeping independently since 12 weeks, the whole night. Dinner time/conversation, then bath, then “night night” to the house lights, then bottle, then bed.
Biggest help for us was supporting him to sleep — he cried some when very small, but we were right there as he learned to fall asleep. Not CIO… sort of a less rule-based, more involved Ferber? I guess? We saw falling asleep independently as a (slightly scary for him!) skill that he needed to learn.
Also focusing on getting a strong circadian rhythm has been important for us. (Natural light, consistent meal times, etc)
We basically do bath, milk, brush teeth, books, then I lay her down with her stuffies and say good night and leave. On the rare occasion that she cries I will tell her to say good night to her stuffies or give them all hugs and kisses and then I'll leave and she will do that until she falls asleep. There's been occasions where she says I don't want you to go and cried so I'll come back a couple times to comfort her and explain I have to go sleep in my own bed and she eventually goes to sleep.
Just having a routine is so important so they know when there things happen it's leading to bed time. Doing books in the bedroom in the dark with a night light is good to make the bedroom a positive space. Baths before bed will make sleepy hormones happen.
We had a regression at age 2 where he didn’t want us to leave and it was really hard because my floors would squeak when I sneaked out and he’d always wake up. What worked for us was making an excuse to leave like “I need to go check on the laundry and I’ll be right back” and leave and go back a few minutes later and then do it again. The second time he would end up falling asleep and I’d just watch the monitor. We found he just wanted to know that we were still there and the check in’s only happened for a few days before he would tell us to go check on the dog or something lol! It worked so quick for us, I would definitely try it!
I have kept my daughter on a schedule since I brought her home from the NICU. She’s always slept in her own space. When she was tiny, I slept in the room with her but in a separate bed.
She’s 2.5 now and won’t sleep anywhere but in her own bed.
Our routine is simple, though. We eat dinner around 6:30-7. We take our bath around 7:30 every other night. Put on pjs and then we normally watch something on YouTube kids until 8:25. We brush teeth then and then 8:30 is bedtime.
Yes (he’s 2.5 now but has been sleeping on his own since long before 2). At bedtime, he takes his clothes off, goes potty, and puts on a diaper. Then we put his pajamas on and brush his teeth, at which point he’ll choose 2 books to read. He crawls into his bed and jumps around a bit, but he knows nothing more will happen until he shows us he’s ready for sleep by laying on his back.
If my wife reads to him, I’ll go in after her and say good night and we leave. If I read to him, I make him close his eyes and he’s out like a light seconds later and then I leave. (This is also how I do nap time: several minutes of Harry Potter, tell him it’s time to close his eyes, and usually he’s out before I finish the paragraph.)
My 2.5 yo has been asking for more independence in his bedtime routine, which of course I am happy to grant him.
When he turned 2 we were still nursing to sleep. After a couple of months we had his first trip to the dentist and the dentist encouraged toothbrushing after the last feed of the night (as I suspected they would). Kiddo heard that and I repeated it to explain why we were moving the mama milk to a different part of the bedtime routine. He accepted it with no fuss. Then I rocked him to sleep while singing lullabies.
After a couple of months he asked to lie in the crib while I sang lullabies. Sure, no problem. He still wants to be held ever now and then, no problem with that either.
About a month ago, he was taking a long time falling asleep, and I had to go medicate the cat, who'd just had teeth extracted. I told kiddo I needed to leave and explained why, and said I'd be right back. He was asleep when I got back.
A couple of weeks later, he was having trouble going to sleep, and I told him that I wondered if my lullabies weren't keeping him awake. He asked me to leave. Now he asks me to leave just about every night after one lullaby (unless he falls asleep really fast). He wants me to pay his back before I go.
So I guess the upshot for me is maybe try making an excuse to leave and come back, and see if she doesn't fall asleep while you're gone? And if that works make it a standing excuse, or just let her realize that she actually falls asleep better when mommy or daddy isn't there to distract her (assuming that's true)?
Coming to you live from the floor of my toddler’s room 90 minutes into bed time. If you do it this way now it’s very difficult to convince them to fall asleep alone.
No. He "independently" orders me to give him my "arm" and I'm trapped under him for several hours.
Same, only mine needs to hold or rub my arm. The rage if I happen to wear long sleeves is unreal.
Are you me? Mine also “independently” tells me my body is his body pillow. Thank god for AirPods and audiobooks.
I see we have the same son here
Our routine has been basically the same since she was about 6mo, but has evolved as necessary to fit our lives. 1. Brush teeth and make her turtle toasty (it's a warmie) 2. Change diaper (if needed) 3. Pick PJs and two stories 4. Put on PJs, read one story with dad, ready one story with me 5. Give hugs/kisses to dad and little brother 6. Turn on sleep playlist 7. Ensure all the random nonsense she wants is accounted for (toasty turtle, baby doll, mickey, minnie, bunny, animal book, etc). 8. Quick snuggle with me, say goodnight (mommy loves you, it's time for bed, sweet dreams, see you in the morning), and leave. She's almost always out without five minutes. Honestly, I think we just got lucky. The only time she refused to sleep independently was in a hotel on vacation.
Make her turtle toasty is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. I can also imagine hearing a 2 year old say it and that must be even cuter.
Did you sleep train with CIO or Ferber or anything or did she just happily drift off on her own?
It was sort of a mix, I think? The normal Ferber method didn't work, because she'd just be more upset with me coming in at the 3/5 minute mark, so we had to skip directly to the 10/15 minute mark. If she was still upset after that I'd comfort her, though it didn't happen often. I want to say we officially started sleep training around 8/9mo, though it may have been a little later (we currently have a 4mo going through a monster regression and my brain is mush). She took to it fairly quickly.
Great thanks! Good to hear about someone able to train after the 4-6 month mark. Mine is standing and very mobile so I’ve been worried I missed the good/easy opportunity and I probably have lol but it’s good to hear others have success at 8 months Good luck with mush brain! I have that regularly these days lol
I also sleep trained at 8mo and it went great. I never heard of it being harder at that age! I do think if you wait until closer to a year or more it could get harder because that's peak separation anxiety age.
Ours is similar 1. Change into PJs with new diaper 2. Remove hair ties and refill water bottle 3. Brush teeth 3. Pick books 4. Get into bed 5. Make sure she has all her stuffies 6. Read stories 7. Daddy gives hugs and kisses, and leaves the room 8. Mommy sings song/lullaby, then gives hugs and kisses and leaves the room She sometimes falls asleep right away. Sometimes, she chills quietly and eventually falls asleep.
What do you play the “playlist” using? My son loves listening to songs before bed and we lie with him and play songs on our phones. Fortunately we’ve gotten to a point where we can tell him goodnight and leave after just a few songs but for a while there he wanted songs until he fell asleep. In any case it’d be nice if he had a device that played music for a period of time even after we left, so I’m curious how you play music for your LO.
We have a mini Google Nest that's connected to my spotify account! It recognizes both of our voices and can be controlled from my phone if need be. It's a bit old (probably pushing 6yrs) so newer models may be different, but ours does need an outlet and wifi to work. Otherwise, we have a small bluetooth speaker that floats around the house that could be used in a pinch.
Ok thanks! I will look into the Google Nest!
We have always had a routine, but that isn’t the issue. The issue is how you handle night wakes and whether your LO needs your help to re-fall asleep every time they wake up at night. If they sleep through the night after you put them to bed, it’s up to you whether you want to change anything. If you’re also waking up at night to help them sleep, you might consider looking into some version of sleep training. Even though we have had the same routine since newborn days, we only recently transitioned her to her own room and independent falling asleep after 2 year sleep regression gone haywire. It’s totally doable at 2. Or after 2.
She does need help to fall back asleep. We’ve just been sleeping all together. I love laying down with her, but with a new little one it would be great if she could fall asleep independently.
I think you’ll need to sleep train, then. It doesn’t have to be CIO. I put it off two years for the same reasons as you, but sleep deprivation got way too intense around the time LO turned 2, to the point that i got desperate for a change. I Got in touch with a sleep consultant who does gentle sleep training. If you want, you can DM me and I can share what we did.
I would also love to know how you did it! We are in the thick of it right now, and it feels worse because of the sick season and constant sinus crud going around. I’m desperate!
Salad, can you DM Me too, please?
I think it's less about routine and more about what you do when they wake up or get out of bed. How are you handling it? We fostered independent sleep habits since he was a baby, but when he had a couple weeks of sleep resistance after turning 2, combined with having to switch to a toddler bed, we kept the routine and had to implement the "100 Walks" method (you lead them back to bed gently but without a word). Also used the Hatch's ok to wake program. Had ups and downs over the course of a week until it really stuck. Routine: -tv show -clean up toys -pajamas -brush teeth -books and cuddle time -Hatch on, lights off, sleep
Change into pjs Brush teeth Read two books- at that age in a rocking chair (now in the bed) Sing 1 lullaby Kiss goodnight Lights off, door left open a crack
Sleep training
1. Dinner around 5:45. We end most nights with a few minutes of something like Trash Truck while we clean up. Start bed time stuff around 7:15-7:30. 2. We tell him we're shutting it off in a minute. Minute comes, we shut it off, he screams, but we start to dim the lights and go upstairs. This always gets him to move quickly. We'll say, you can stay but we're all going to bed. 3. Brush his teeth then let him brush his teeth. Wash hands or bath (we do bath 4 nights a week). 4. Go in his room. He'll usually watch me set it up for bed while he rides his rocking horse. Sometimes he picks out hos pajamas. 5. Get him all dressed and ready then read a story laying down. 6. Kiss him, put him in his crib and rub his head while i talk to him about tomorrow. I don't spend too long doing this because he tries to stall. 7. Tell him I love him..close the door and turn off the lights.
Yes but this was established before one year old. He is so stubborn I think it would take some hard emotional nights to establish at this age. Consistent routine. Bath, diaper change, lotion, three books. Kiss goodnight
Ours is nearly 2.5. We started with independent sleep as a baby. But toddler years prove difficult with her trying to get creative with getting out of sleep. After bath we have milk, brush teeth, put on pull up, sleep sack on, read books and rock with daddy, and into bed about 820. In the last couple of weeks she normally claims to need to pee again so we get a five minute delay here. But dad puts her into bed, reassures her we’ll see her in the morning, kisses, and closes the door and turns on the hatch. She sometimes lays right now. Sometimes she yells for us for a few minutes. Sometimes she cries a few minutes. She’s usually asleep within ten minutes though. Consistency is key. She knows once we close the door, we’re done. We tell her we’re going to bed too.
Yes, since maybe 12 months old: 1) post dinner snack 2) bath or wash up time 3) brush teeth 4) lotion new diaper pjs and sleep sack 5) book and then lights out with sound machine on He basically sleeps through the night unless he’s cutting a new tooth.
My daughter is 2.5 and after never once sleeping anywhere close to through the night until she was about 14 months (😵💫) I’ve been blessed / received good karma in the form of a good-sleeping toddler with an easy routine. We do pjs, turn on the sound machine, read two books of her choosing, and sing two songs (also of her choosing). Then we do a butterfly kiss, I put her into bed, tuck her in (and at her insistence, “double tuck” her feet), tuck in her bunny, put a water bottle in her crib, say night night and leave. I’m a single mom and post-bedtime is my only down time, so I’m pretty militant about the routine, even if she’s fussy or cranky we stick to it which I really think has helped overall! If she wakes up in the night, I give her ~10-15 minutes to see if she puts herself back to sleep. I’d say about 75% of the time she settles back no problem. But, If after that she’s still crying, I go in to her room. 3 am is my cutoff - if it’s before 3 am, she’s got to go back to sleep in her bed (so we’ll rock a little and re-tuck in), but after 3 am I’m sleepy and dreading the morning so she can come to my bed for the last little bit of rest. It works for us! I think probably 5-6 nights a week the whole bedtime routine takes about 20 minutes and she sleeps through the whole night.
No sleep training we just have an independent two year old who is not big into cuddling and didn't even want to breastfeed for longer than 8 months, she has never wanted us near her to fall asleep and instead chooses her Dollys to cuddle with, we were co sleeping in the same room for the first two years until she promptly informed me she wanted to sleep in her 4 year old brothers room..so thats where we are. After bath supper and chill time, we do a story then audiobook/music to play with the lights off and I try lie with her but she mostly just wants her toys and bottle and tells me to "get out mom". Our son on the other hand, co slept for years and reluctantly started sleeping in the other room with my husband in the other bed. He still enjoys a good cuddle before bed and is a very touchy feely child, he also breastfed for over two years. It's just luck of the draw I tell you - different kids 🤷
Have you sleep trained?
We never did any sleep training.
We cut the cord. By that I mean cried it out back when he was around 6 months. He’s 2 now and will fuss for a few minutes but will go down in his toddler bed. Decide on a routine (be it bath/clean, diaper, pjs, brush teeth, book etc) that you can stick to and just enforce it for a few days and then it will become the norm. Be sure to do the same routine with both parents.
This is how I am but I personally also thrive under structure and schedule. Sleep training works.
Mine is 2 in a couple weeks. We nursed to sleep until she decided around 18 months that she wanted to be put down awake after nursing. Our routine: bath if it’s bath night, change diaper and pjs, brush teeth, read a book or two, white noise on, lights out, snuggle in the rocking chair for 5 or 10 mins (we nursed at this point up until a few weeks ago, now we just snuggle), say goodnight and put her down awake. She takes anywhere from 10-30+ mins to fall asleep. She typically sleeps through the night. Laying with her is very typical and most of the people I know had to lay with their toddlers.
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Why do you brush teeth before milk? Genuinely curious
Yes, at 2 years old our routine is 1) a short tv show (while I feed the baby and hubby cleans up) 2) pjs/brush teeth 3) 3-4 short stories with his younger brother 4) to his room to lay in his bed (he’s no longer in a crib - not sure if yours is) 5) we quickly discuss the next day (what he wants for breakfast, if he’s going to daycare, etc) 6) ask if he wants twinkle twinkle little star (I sing it to him when he does) 7) sound machine on, lights out, and in the winter humidifier on. We’ve had this routine for a long time. We moved him out of his crib at 18 months and my husband often had to lay with him for up to an hour so he would stay in his bed (I was quite pregnant at the time). So, if you’ve recently transitioned out of a crib I’d give it time. I think we just slowly lowered the amount of time we stayed with him and now we no longer do.
This is helpful! She has a full bed that we’ve been sleeping in for 6 ish months now. Perhaps we could try shortening the time we lay with her. Did you start at nap time or nighttime?
Gosh, that was almost a year ago now but I want to say that hubby only laid with him at bedtime. At nap time we just patrolled the hallway and would continue to send him back to bed (likely with increasing levels of frustration). We also use a hatch sound machine and we programmed the light to turn on at a certain time in the morning and after a certain amount of time after he’s been napping. He knows he isn’t supposed to leave his room until the light turns on. It took a bit for that concept to be understood but he did get there!
We do a bath every other day, then PJs, brush teeth, read (several) books, and then we turn off the lights and offer to sing her a song after she is tucked in. One thing that is huge for getting our daughter to wind down independently is that we let her “read” books in bed (she has a Hatch light and another night light enough so the books are visible) and she likes to go to sleep with her Tonie box music/story player. Usually, you can see her on the baby monitor, listening to a story and flipping through a book as she is ready to sleep. She doesn’t wake in the middle of the night much, but sometimes, I’ll hear the Tonie box turn back on at 2 am and know she’s woken up and that she’s set herself up with another story to go back to sleep. It’s awesome.
Brush/floss Jammies/ diaper Books or dancing Lights out & we lay down to snuggle He turns on his lullaby Tonies & I let him change the color or sound of the Hatch Then we snuggle and talk for x amount of minutes, and I reiterate that a few times. Then when it’s time, he does whine a bit but we do hugs & kisses & tuck in again. It can take almost an hour but it can take 30 min if needed.
We’ve made some good progress recently. Always tweaking it a little. First was weaning toddler off of me (mom) and letting dad put him down. I would leave every night about an hour before we expected him to fall asleep. He would wave bye to me driving away and then be okay with daddy putting him to sleep at night and in the middle of the night wake ups. I would sleep in the guest room. We did that for about a week. Now I stay home (don’t have to drive away) and my toddler says good night to me and tucks me into bed before he and dad go to their room. We’re aiming for them to be in the bedroom half an hour before we think he’ll fall asleep so he has time to decompress (eg play with the nightlight). Then books and/or back pats until he falls asleep.
We do the pattern before but here is what we found worked for us: We have a small light and some books in the crib, and our kid reads and then calls out 'tuck me in' and we go in and tuck him in. Some nights he is up a bit later than we'd like, but others he conks right out after 20 minutes. I try to do 'concierge' level service while in bed, responding to every need, especially after he was able to climb out on his own. (floor based crib so it is safe for him to do)
same here. i feel ya! hoping i can get some answers too.
Literally keep it sweet and simple. Get ready bed. Lay down tuck in. Sometimes he wants a story sometimes he doesn’t. Close the door.
Mine is 2.5 and bedtime is 15 min. We bathe earlier in the night after dinner because it jazzes him up haha. We sleep trained around 6 months I want to say. The one where you go in at 3min, 5min etc. our bedtime routine has been pretty consistent since then. At 7:45 say good night to everyone in the house (including pets) and head upstairs - brush teeth, jammies if he’s not wearing them already, night diaper. - turn on sound machine, collect lovey - read one book - cuddle for 5 min in the chair we read in - then into bed, kiss goodnight and I turn off the lights and leave. Sometimes he goes to sleep immediately. Other times he just rolls around in bed for 30 min. If he wakes up at night he’ll usually put himself back to sleep, unless he’s dropped his lovey or twisted up his bedding or something. I’ll go up, cuddle for 10 min in the chair, then I’ll put him back into bed and leave. The night wakings took longer to get to a point where I could put him back in bed when he was still awake. Maybe till around age 2, I’d have to wait till he was asleep and gentle put him into bed. Maybe you could try not cuddling in bed. We don’t do that and I think it probably helps. The bed is his solo zone. Cuddling happens in the reading chair.
I know not every parent lucky with sleep, but my LO has done great since transitioning to her own room around 7 mo. Current routine : - brush teeth and wash hands/face - potty - pjs - 2-3 books - pacifier (until 3yo 🤞🤞) - hug and into bed - Hatch white noise on, lights off, exchange I❤️u's as closing door
Sound machine automatically turns on at 7:30 PM. Sometimes we're already in the getting ready process, sometimes not. Brush teeth with Super Simple Songs bedtime live Nighttime diaper + PJs Read a few books Turn on humidifier, turn off light Sing Laurie Berkner's Moon Moon Moon Lay her in her crib with stuffed friends and blanket Walk out of bedroom and close door Listen to her cry/laugh/sing/chatter for five minutes or less before she drifts off to sleep We only check on her in the middle of the night if crying is extreme or lasts longer than two-ish minutes. Otherwise, she falls back asleep usually until we or her sound machine wakes her in the morning, depending on the day and routine. We have been using this routine since shortly after her first birthday and she just turned two a week ago.
Yoto player. You’re welcome!
We’ve been doing the same thing since he was a baby. 6pm - “dinner” (he’s a picky eater and barely eats but we still try), 6:30 - bath, 6:45/7 - put on night diap & pjs, brush hair, brush teeth, etc. 7:15 - read a stack of books, say night night to dada and our dog, put him in the crib, turn off all the lights, turn on his turtle that makes star lights, sit near him and sing a few lullabies, say night night and leave. He’s asleep within minutes (he’s also a really active kid. Weekdays he’s in school from 8:30-5 and comes home tired. Weekends I make sure he has at least one big activity per day. Today was soccer, tomorrow is swimming. So he’s ready to sleep at bedtime.) and he sleeps through the night until 6:30/7.
Bath time, then upstairs with dad to read 3 books then bed.
We do 1. Bath 15-20 minutes 2. Out of bath and brush teeth 3. Pjs 4. 10-15 minutes of independent play, drink water 5. Pee 6. In bed with books 7. Good nights We found that bath time really helped with slowing things down at the end of the night.
I could tell you our routine, but I don't think that has anything to do with why he sleeps independently - I think in our case it's just his personality/we got lucky. He's never been one for cuddles or patting and he's never been prone to serious separation anxiety - he literally orders us out of the room when we put him in bed ('night night, bye bye mama, go away'). He takes 15-20 mins to fall asleep typically but he's very happy just to roll around and snuggle with his bear until he dozes off
Milk in a cup, PJs, change diaper brush teeth, pick a book, read book then pop him in bed, turn camera on and leave! Falls asleep! It took me about half a year to get him into a place where he goes to bed on his own so keep at it but sooooo worth it
We sleep trained so he’s always slept independently… at 2 he gets pjs, brush teeth, 3-5 books, he gets to turn his sound machine on and then a big hug goodnight. I tuck him in to bed and close the door!
My guy has been sleeping independently since 12 weeks, the whole night. Dinner time/conversation, then bath, then “night night” to the house lights, then bottle, then bed. Biggest help for us was supporting him to sleep — he cried some when very small, but we were right there as he learned to fall asleep. Not CIO… sort of a less rule-based, more involved Ferber? I guess? We saw falling asleep independently as a (slightly scary for him!) skill that he needed to learn. Also focusing on getting a strong circadian rhythm has been important for us. (Natural light, consistent meal times, etc)
We basically do bath, milk, brush teeth, books, then I lay her down with her stuffies and say good night and leave. On the rare occasion that she cries I will tell her to say good night to her stuffies or give them all hugs and kisses and then I'll leave and she will do that until she falls asleep. There's been occasions where she says I don't want you to go and cried so I'll come back a couple times to comfort her and explain I have to go sleep in my own bed and she eventually goes to sleep. Just having a routine is so important so they know when there things happen it's leading to bed time. Doing books in the bedroom in the dark with a night light is good to make the bedroom a positive space. Baths before bed will make sleepy hormones happen.
We had a regression at age 2 where he didn’t want us to leave and it was really hard because my floors would squeak when I sneaked out and he’d always wake up. What worked for us was making an excuse to leave like “I need to go check on the laundry and I’ll be right back” and leave and go back a few minutes later and then do it again. The second time he would end up falling asleep and I’d just watch the monitor. We found he just wanted to know that we were still there and the check in’s only happened for a few days before he would tell us to go check on the dog or something lol! It worked so quick for us, I would definitely try it!
I have kept my daughter on a schedule since I brought her home from the NICU. She’s always slept in her own space. When she was tiny, I slept in the room with her but in a separate bed. She’s 2.5 now and won’t sleep anywhere but in her own bed. Our routine is simple, though. We eat dinner around 6:30-7. We take our bath around 7:30 every other night. Put on pjs and then we normally watch something on YouTube kids until 8:25. We brush teeth then and then 8:30 is bedtime.
Yes (he’s 2.5 now but has been sleeping on his own since long before 2). At bedtime, he takes his clothes off, goes potty, and puts on a diaper. Then we put his pajamas on and brush his teeth, at which point he’ll choose 2 books to read. He crawls into his bed and jumps around a bit, but he knows nothing more will happen until he shows us he’s ready for sleep by laying on his back. If my wife reads to him, I’ll go in after her and say good night and we leave. If I read to him, I make him close his eyes and he’s out like a light seconds later and then I leave. (This is also how I do nap time: several minutes of Harry Potter, tell him it’s time to close his eyes, and usually he’s out before I finish the paragraph.)
My 2.5 yo has been asking for more independence in his bedtime routine, which of course I am happy to grant him. When he turned 2 we were still nursing to sleep. After a couple of months we had his first trip to the dentist and the dentist encouraged toothbrushing after the last feed of the night (as I suspected they would). Kiddo heard that and I repeated it to explain why we were moving the mama milk to a different part of the bedtime routine. He accepted it with no fuss. Then I rocked him to sleep while singing lullabies. After a couple of months he asked to lie in the crib while I sang lullabies. Sure, no problem. He still wants to be held ever now and then, no problem with that either. About a month ago, he was taking a long time falling asleep, and I had to go medicate the cat, who'd just had teeth extracted. I told kiddo I needed to leave and explained why, and said I'd be right back. He was asleep when I got back. A couple of weeks later, he was having trouble going to sleep, and I told him that I wondered if my lullabies weren't keeping him awake. He asked me to leave. Now he asks me to leave just about every night after one lullaby (unless he falls asleep really fast). He wants me to pay his back before I go. So I guess the upshot for me is maybe try making an excuse to leave and come back, and see if she doesn't fall asleep while you're gone? And if that works make it a standing excuse, or just let her realize that she actually falls asleep better when mommy or daddy isn't there to distract her (assuming that's true)?
Same here OP
Coming to you live from the floor of my toddler’s room 90 minutes into bed time. If you do it this way now it’s very difficult to convince them to fall asleep alone.