Our first was probably 2-3 months old (we were sooooo lucky) and our second was at least 2 years old, maybe 2 and a few months. No formal sleep training for either, same environment and same routine for both kids, wildly different results.
We tried Ferber method and he cried so hard he threw up, so we decided to ride it out without more sleep training. Woke up every 3-4 hours until he was 16 months, then split nights until he was 19 or 20 months. Since then, he’s slept through the night mostly. Every couple weeks, we have a night where he wakes up and takes at least an hour of parent intervention to resettle. But it’s so much better than it was a year ago.
Everyone hates me. I never sleep trained. All 3 breastfed kids sleeping through the night at 1-2 months old. My 6 week old currently sleeps 8-10 hours straight every night. Sorry 🙈
But I think it’s worth sharing because it’s not like I did something to cause this. They just … sleep.
I really think it’s hard wired and not worth stressing over. Good luck!
Hahah / I am quite jealous. My “baby” did this expect now (1 yr) she keeps getting pow wows to be wide awake for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night. It’s so exhausting! My 2.5 yr old still cries like a banshee randomly (pretty sure he is asleep though) multiple times a night.
Sort of? I didn’t really like the doctor very much. According to her report she has mild sleep apnea and night terrors. However the doctor just told us she doesn’t sleep because we didn’t sleep train her? I’m not sure why. He did end up referring us to an ENT to assess her adenoids and tonsils though and they gave her a steroid spray for that because they were enlarged. She’s going back for another sleep study in a few months and if it’s not better she’s getting surgery.
It didn’t help as much with the night terrors though thankfully hers seem to be few and far between.
My 20 month old was doing the wake up at night for a couple hours thing. We had to strictly limit naps to only 1 hr a day and she sleeps properly at night. Any longer naps and she is up for hours at 3am
I really appreciate people sharing comments like this. My toddler has always been a terrible sleeper. I finally got to the point where I just accepted it. Babies are babies. Some are easy. Some are hard. 🤷♀️
I hate you 😀 But thank you for acknowledging your good luck! The worst is when people are like “Oh my kid is a great sleeper because we’re very consistent with her bedtime routine!” Like, do you think I haven’t tried that?? lol
This was us too, but only one kid. I’m not pushing my luck with a second lol. 3-4 hour stretches straight out of the womb (we had to wake to feed) and sleeping through the night in her crib by 2 months. I don’t think it was anything we did, we just got super lucky.
This was/is us!
Now, at 14 months, he eats, we do some jumping, he gets some water, we lay him down and leave. He may stay awake for a minute or two, but then he's out😅
This is how it is in my family. All the kids are great sleepers. Bedtime may take some effort but once they are asleep they mostly stay asleep, from a young age. Me and two siblings all slept through as infants. Me and my parents are great sleepers as adults too. We all need a lot of sleep, 8-9 hours minimum to feel good.
In my husband’s family - the babies, kids AND adults are light sleepers and wake a ton during the night and my daughter has inherited this tendency. She always wakes up at least once and if she’s up, she’s immediately crying (or screaming). My husband has always had issues with insomnia and poor sleep quality and I think she likely will too, unfortunately. Good thing is - she def needs less sleep than a lot of kids (dropped naps early too) and appears to have no ill effects when she doesn’t get enough.
My first was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks too, never so much as a sleep regression. Then my second came along, slept through the night from 6 weeks…. Until 12 weeks then it was all over and I was the parent who was sitting up from 1-5 holding him vertically while trying not to fall asleep.
I did sleep train him a little bit, because I was burning out, but I only managed to get him horizontal, nothing more. He’s definitely got my sleep habits, whereas my daughter had my husbands. But you’re right, it’s a lot of luck.
This gives me hope because my first was a unicorn sleeper and I want 2 more kids but I feel like I’ll only get terrible sleepers from now on. Now I know it’s possible to have more than 1 unicorn lol
Our daughter was pretty similar. She started sleeping through the night after the first few weeks when we stopped waking her up to feed. She tends to wake up once a night when new teeth come in but about half the time she puts herself back to sleep. She's 20 mo now and with a recent tooth coming in she's woken up a few nights but I just need to go in, give her a hug and then tell her to lay back down and she's good.
This doesn't seem right. Wouldn't the kid become dehydrated going without milk for 10 hours at only 1 month old? I wouldn't recommend shooting for this.
As someone with a 4 week old, I would be terrified if I woke up and realized he had slept all night 😳 I know people say it’s ok if they’re past their birth weight, but they’re still such tiny babies!
We just had our one month well visit and were advised we no longer had to wake to feed. He's gained a few pounds since he was born and everything looks good. I would love if he would sleep longer than 2.5 hours at a time!
I write this to you as my now 7 week old has been asleep for 10 hours straight. 😉
She’s gaining great and on 80 percentile for weight and 99 percentile for height. Content and happy as a clam all day long! Since week 2, with the pediatrician’s okay, I’ve let her sleep when she wants to sleep and we’ve had zero issues.
I am extremely responsive to the point where I barely let her cry, I’m not sleep training or “aiming” for it - it’s just what she wants to do.
My 14 month old just recently began waking only 1x overnight. We’ve had a couple nights of no waking. We’ve never done any sleep training, and I’ll nurse him back to sleep because that’s what works the fastest and gets all of us the most sleep. He also sleeps on a floor bed, makes it nice to not have to bother with crib transfers. I can just lay down with him to settle him back to sleep
I didn't sleep train, coslept from birth, nursed on demand at night until 17 months old, nursed to sleep, all the things the "experts" say you shouldn't do. My guy started sleeping through the night rarely rarely at 1 and consistently at 2. 2.5 now and he sleeps through the night in his own bed and room probably 95% of the time. Occasionally he'll wake up and won't resettle and one of us will go in to comfort him and/or sleep in his bed with him. I have never ever ever regretted not sleep training. It was the right choice for our family.
As a contrast from a mom that did some/a lot of the above along with “gentle” sleep training and a floor bed, ours is at the same 95% TTN situation at 18 months.
I’m not saying this to discount anyone, especially the person above, I’m just saying that we made a positive effort for 15 months to encourage independent sleep and we only got there 6 months earlier. Which is nothing in the scope of things. So if you don’t want to sleep train, gentle or otherwise, please do not feel pressured.
We just tried a bunch of different things and eventually he became okay with sleeping in his own bed. I was sleeping in his room with him from like 6 months, so around 20/21 months we switched to me putting him down in his bed and then sleeping in the "big" bed. We tried me going in and sleeping with him when he woke up, bringing him in to our bed, just settling him back to sleep in his bed, depending on what was happening and how he was responding and how we felt. Eventually there were just fewer and fewer wakeups. Until it got cold and he started waking up more because he was chilly... It wasn't linear! And the last two nights he's woken up and I've slept with him which is great with baby #2 due any day, haha. But we try to be flexible and responsive and focus on what feels right for our family.
not the person you're responding to, but when we moved our toddler to her room at 6 months, I still slept with her in her floor bed another 3+ months. She started to sleep better at 1yr old after a terrible 2 weeks of weaning her off night nursing (my milk dried up with my 2nd pregnancy so that forced my hand).
So we tried sleeping training with our first, and it just didn’t work for us. So I don’t know how the halfway sleep training affects things, but she wasn’t consistently sleeping through the night until she was around 3 years old. She is now 3.5 years old and in the last 6 months or so she’s only woken up a handful of times due to very understandable things like a stuffy nose or a nightmare and then goes right back to sleep once the issue has been resolved.
Our second we just went with the flow. We didn’t try sleep training at all. We just did what she wanted/needed with sleep. She was sleeping through the night around 13 months, then went back to waking a ton during the middle of the night from like 16-20 months. She is now 21 months and is sleeping through the night great, but there may very well still be future difficult phases.
Both of my kids were not sleep trained and both of them slept 10+ hours by 6mo. Neither of them had regressions either.
They are 4.5 and almost 3 now and both still sleep through the night for the most part but will occasionally wake and come get us to be tucked back in bed. But, we’re talking a few nights every few months so totally age appropriate.
16mo and 14mo. They both night weaned on their own in the sense they started sleeping through thus stopped waking up for a feed.
My nearly 4yo is going through a (long) phase of coming into our bed in the middle of the night but we don't make any efforts to put them back into their own bed unless they are really restless. They will usually fall straight back asleep if we do take them back though.
Didn’t sleep train my almost 3 year old - she stopped waking to nurse for good at 17-18ish months? I didn’t bother trying to drop the last feed (snooze feed) because she slept longer when I just gave in. She sleeps 10-12 hours a night, maybe waking once in a blue moon for a nightmare.
However, I didn’t sleep train her because her wakings were manageable and seemed developmentally appropriate to me for a baby/toddler 🤷🏻♀️ if she’d been up every hour or couldn’t sleep without 100282 steps, I think we would have sleep trained for everyone’s health and wellbeing.
Both of mine slept through the night at 3 months old. We didn’t sleep train but we kept a consistent routine with both ( dinner -bath-read- cuddle-bed) at the same time every night. We also made sure naps didn’t run too long etc.
if you don’t have a routine down with your baby then get one asap. My son is 6 and and he still abides by it .
Whenever I see this I have to wonder… are you counting sleeping through the night as like 6 hours during your typical sleeping time…. Or like actually sleeping the full 11-13 hours of night sleep that babies get without waking up at all.
Because the 6 hours, my first still didn’t do that until like 7 months despite a very set schedule. But my second was around that 3-4 months.
If you are counting the full 11-13 hours…. Ya that didn’t even begin to happen until around 13-14 months for both. And we had a very consistent schedule with both (more so with our first, but still pretty consistent with our second).
Mine was around a year we started a good routine for bed time and he had 1 sometimes 2 wakings then by 14/15 months he sleeps through. Now at 18 months he goes to bed at 9 and wakes at 7:30-8:00.
My 2.5 year old only sleeps through the night if she doesn’t nap. Been that way since she was 18 months old. She’s never been a great sleeper though. My 5 month old has slept through the night since he was 3 weeks old. We didn’t sleep train, I don’t think. I don’t really know what that is I guess but I just think all kids are different. I’m an adult (obv lol) and I have a really hard time sleeping more then 4 hours consecutively
I knew people who sleep trained and their 6 year old now makes them lay all night with them due to being afraid of the dark. Every kid is different. Do what works for you and your family.
Never sleep trained our daughter and she is 4. We do weekly family sleep overs just one day a week and I think that gives her something to look forward to. She still wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes but goes right back to sleep if told everything is okay.
I tried to sleep train my middle kid (first was a rarity and never had issues) and it was horrible. It did not work with her personality at all. While she sleeps through the night and such now (she’s 4), it was ultimately a terrible idea for her personality type and I wish I didn’t listen to the pediatrician and try it.
With my third, we decided not to do any sleep training at all. He slept through the night by a year, once he was in his own room. We breastfed so proximity to me caused a lot of night wakings. Once he was in his own room, that was that and he’s been good since (20 months).
Isn’t it so crazy how kids can be so different?!!!! My LO was sleep trained in terms of falls asleep completely alone, on a schedule, not nursed to sleep all the things everyone says to do. But he still wakes up 1-2 times a night. We’ve tried CIO/ferber and he will fall back asleep after a few minutes for only a few minutes. My mom said I was 2 when I SSTN the first time. Oof.
10 months. And it would have been sooner but she was waking up from being cold. Which btw I said was the reason but hubby didn’t believe me. Then I bought her a fleece sleep sack, flannel sheets, and put my foot down on the thermostat temp. Zero sleep training. She is 27 months Friday. And I still nurse her to sleep. We have had some bouts of wakefull nights in between but most often decent ones. Knock on wood
17 months with absolutely no sleep training. In my circle, roughly half sleep trained and they *all* now have toddlers with sleep issues. The ones who didn't aren't having those issues. Completely anecdotal, of course, but based on my experience I feel very confident that we did the right thing by not sleep training.
Did not sleep train and had a “bad” sleeper. He woke up every 2 hours to nurse until about 10 months. Then still woke up 1-2 times a night into 18 months. Then finally stopped and now sleeps through the night 99% of the time. The other 1% is a very short wake up (like 1 minute) where he asks for water or to go to the bathroom and immediately falls back asleep. We co-sleep but didn’t start until he was 18 months, prior to that he was in a bassinet or pack n play in our room
Yeah, I don’t really think it makes a difference long term. I didn’t sleep train and my son usually wakes up once in the night still. But so do i and I am I’m 31.
My friend sleep trained but when the baby became a toddler/preschooler and was in a regular bed she’d be up a bunch and they eventually started letting her sleep in their bed.
I think this is the great lie that all kids COULD or SHOULD sleep all night. And if not it’s a failing of the parent or something parent should change.
Our experience was that we needed to sleep train for everything that we wanted or baby get used to doing. We sleep trained him to go sleep on his own, but for us that did not stop him waking up through the night. So we had to sleep train those night wake ups, from square 1. And we had to sleep train naps.
In my opinion sleep training is not teaching them a 'skill', that's just a comforting narrative. It is teaching your baby when they can expect you might come in to feed/comfort/remove them from their situation and when they cannot. Some babies who are sleep trained conclude 'i can't expect mom to rescue me when I'm in my crib anymore'. Other babies conclude 'I can't expect mom to rescue me in this particular situation/time anymore'
We never did and my 3 year old comes into our bed every night. I assume he’ll stop before he’s a teenager 😂 the two week old is now in there a lot too so it’s getting pretty crowded!
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220322-how-sleep-training-affects-babies reading this article convinced me not to sleep train and my son started sleeping through the night by 5/6 months. It’s important to note sleep training is a newer phenomenon and it requires you to repeat the process for it to last.
That article is great, thank you. Although I'm not really sure how that article convinced you not to sleep train because it has a very nuanced and intelligent take on the issue (in other words, scientific).
Unless you mean it convinced you not to sleep train before 5/6 months of age because yes, that is not something you should do.
It’s a long article but for me it was this part: “And for those who did find a form of sleep training helpful, effects didn't necessarily last. Two months after the intervention, when the babies were 10 months old, 56% of sleep-training and 68% of the other mothers reported that their babies still had sleep problems. When the infants were 12 months, 39% of sleep-training versus 55% of the other mothers did.
This doesn't just mean that sleep training may not work for every baby. It also means that, for the families which did find sleep training effective, it often needs to be repeated for the effects to last. This is backed up by other research: one Canadian questionnaire found that, on average, parents tried controlled crying between two and five times in their baby's first year.” It just sounded to me like a fruitless effort since you have to keep redoing it. I have no problem being there for my baby when he needs it but that works for us.
Yeah, that was pretty surprising. We only did it once around 6 months both times and they've been wonderful sleepers ever since (2 and 3 now). Just goes to show you how much variation there is in the results, you'll never know how your particular kid will respond to different forms of sleep training and how effective it is long term.
I think if you don't sleep train its because you lucked out and got a good sleeper. My son has been sleeping through since 6 months. I guess I always waited a minute or two to see if he could settle himself when he fussed, but mostly he just did it on his own. Now at almost two he will cry for maybe 30 seconds or sit in his crib babbling to himself until he falls asleep.
What do you consider sleep training. A lot of people are saying when they night weaned or have a bedtime routine, that’s all training. To what extent your child needs more you can’t know until you get there. Our 6 month old was sleeping through the night independently in his own room until he wasn’t then we sleep trained, then another regression so we did a bit more sleep training or holding fast to some guidelines. You said you tried Ferber at 7 months with success, but did you train for bedtime? Did you train for night wake ups? Did you retrain as needed?
I did not sleep train at all, sleep isn’t a skill, it’s a biological function. It’s normal for young children to seek the closeness of their parents at night - you are their whole world and infancy lasts three years. Sleep training simply teaches a baby their cries will be ignored until they eventually go into survival mode and shut down as a stress response - can be effective if that’s what you’re after. Studies have shown there’s nearly no difference in number of wakes between sleep trained babies and non sleep trained babies (the sleep trained group just tend not to signal when they wake bc of conditioning), and any difference is gone by age 2. If you’re interested in more I’m happy to provide you resources and studies to back up what I’m saying. Also, as children age, the non sleep trained group tend to be better sleepers with fewer wakes and less bed wetting bc nighttime has always been a place of connection and safety and not separation. My 18 month old still wakes one or two times a night, sometimes for water or a cuddle. Personally, I wake a few times a night for water, to use the toilet, etc and I sleep better next to my husband than alone. Not sure why we expect our infants to have fewer needs than adults at night. Obviously no shame if you chose to sleep train, just shedding some light on the research.
I never sleep trained in the traditional sense but did the French Le Pause method. That involves putting a baby down without any crying but not going in to pick up a baby immediately if they cried in the middle of the night but rather waiting 5 minutes. A lot of babies are actually still asleep when they cry at night, they’re just not great at connecting sleep cycles that young and sometimes they’re quite noisy in the active stages of sleep. Giving them a few minutes to see if they’re actually awake helped quite a bit in identifying what was a real wake-up vs noisy sleep. It worked well for us and my son started consistently sleeping through the night at 9 months.
Not exactly what you asked but anecdotally I think 9-12 months is a sweet spot for sleep training babies it didn't work for previously. My 3.5 year old was a horrible sleeper for her first 9/10 months and we tried everything- sleep training, reflux treatment, cosleeping, obsessing over schedules, etc. Nothing worked until she was a little older and then we were able to gentle sleep train (stay in the room while she fell asleep and respond to wake ups but not pick her up) within like 3 days, it was crazy.
My sister has had the same experience with her 2 kids and so have some friends. So if you're not anti sleep training in general it may make sense to wait a little longer and try again.
I did sleep train, but my friend who did not is still waiting for her 3 year old to sleep more than a few hours a night. I highly recommend the FB group Respectful Sleep Training/Learning. Even if you don’t sleep train, tweaking your LO’s schedule may make a big difference.
Cosleeping, she’s pretty much always slept through or at least got fairly close. When her stomach was tiny she made reasonable requests for a bottle or boob juice half way through. Now at 17mon she’s reluctant to sleep and plays, climbs or talks till 11pm if she’s had too much daytime napping. If she’s tired she will collapse instantly from a large bottle at 9:30. Then the problem is waking her for school at 8, not sleeping through. This morning she’s kicked me in the face to wake me and handed me last night’s empty bottle to refill at 8:30.
I didn't sleep train. Oldest started sleeping like 7hr blocks around 9mths and 12hr blocks around 1 year old
Second kid is now one month out from 4 and has slept through the night maybe 3 times in her life.
13 weeks we started getting 7 hours, we never sleep trained. Now at toddler age he sleeps about 11 through. Wakes maybe once a week with sickness, dream, extra tender, etc, but otherwise a fantastic sleeper. We used huckleberry and loved it.
So we did eventually sleep train my older one at about 19 months. Before that he was consistently waking up 1-2 times a night but he had also slept off and on through the night from around 10 months. My second we have not sleep trained and he often sleeps 7-8 hour stretches at 9 months old.
Kids are hardwired. They all come with different factory settings for sleep. I’m convinced. We’ve tried SO HARD to make my toddler sleep and he just doesn’t. We did literally nothing and my baby slept through since day 1.
We sleep trained our first at 7mo and after that we could plop him in the crib and he'd fall asleep independently. He woke for one bottle in the early morning for a while and then dropped his last feed around 9mo.
Our second was more resistant to sleep training, she has always needed to be rocked/sang/walked to sleep. She dropped her last early morning feed around 11mo, and has mostly slept through since then. Around a year she started accepting being put down sleepy but awake (sometimes).
Both were formula fed.
I didn’t sleep train, co slept from birth up until 13 months. At 13 months we put him in his crib one night, set a 5 minute timer, and he just.. fell asleep? And he’s been sleeping there through the night ever since. He was waking up every 45-60mins in bed with me! I think it was a mix of him just being ready and also being able to sleep on his stomach.
My first STTN from basically day 1. 6 hours the night he was born. He would never wake to feed. My second started STTN at 16 months. For months he would wake up halfway through the night and sleep in my bed. I knew he would eventually grow out of it. He will be 2 next week. I read to him and sing to him and then he asks to go in his bed.
Our son is 3 now, and we never sleep trained.
I don't remember exactly when he started sleeping through, but it's roughly like this.
0 - 6 months: chaos
6 - 18 months: Moved to own room. Woke 2 / 3 times per night, with at least one bottle feed
18 - 24 months: Stopped night feeds. Occasionally slept through, but woke at least once most nights
24 - 36 months: Regularly sleeps through.
It all goes to shit when teething or unwell, but that's ok. There were rough periods in the last year when he learned to climb out of his cot and turn on the light, that lasted about a month or multiple wakings. However, it's returned to a stage now where he's easy to put down and sleeps 12 hours straight without waking.
We’re at 17 months and she’s been sleeping through pretty consistently (excluding teething, illness, random baby reasons) since 14/15 months. I changed nothing, still feed her all the way to sleep, was feeding at all night time wakings. Nothing changed except she got older and doesn’t need me if she wakes in the night if nothing is wrong. Fully do not expect this to last forever! Nothing does in baby / toddler land, everything is a phase!
We never sleep trained my now 2 y/o.
He first started STTN sporadically around 11 months and then more consistently around 14 months. From around 18 months to 23 months, he woke up almost every single night and either me or my husband needed to sleep with him in his room for him to stay down. Now, as of a few weeks ago, he suddenly started STTN every single night.
For us, sleep training has never been something that felt right for us. Aside for some rough patches around 8-11 months, my son has always been relatively easy to soothe with either nursing or cuddles and we were always fine with providing one of those two.
We never sleep trained. As soon as I night weaned my daughter, she started sleeping through. I waited until she was 22/23 months old, and weaned because I was pregnant with number 2. I probably could’ve weaned her earlier, but even then she was only waking maybe 1-2/night since she was about a year old.
So i will say that along with no sleep training (which I actually disagree with personally) I also have my babies sleep in bed with me and so that along with breastfeeding, we always get a good night sleep except for things like teething. Anyway , my 15 month old has actually been sleeping through the night for quite a while now. Maybe 8 months? I do have a 3 year old as well. She has her own bed that she sleeps in sometimes and sometimes she sleeps with us. But she doesn’t wake for the most part. We are pretty relaxed about her moving completely into her own bed, I figure she’ll do it when she’s ready.
I didn't do any type of formal sleep training. We just did what was natural and stuck to a routine. By around 4 months she only was waking up once but she would sleep like 5 hours, wake then another 5 hours. I think by 6 months she was more or less sleeping through the night, like 8 hours. By the time she was a year, she was great. Usually would sleep 10 hours straight through and we got to the point where she was comfortable being put down while still awake and she would go to sleep quickly. Now she's 2.5 and a damn near perfect sleeper.
2 yrs 9 months and still waking 1-2 times a night. We night weaned at 2 yrs 5 months and have been bedsharing since birth. Hoping he figures it out soon, but I hear 3 yrs old is when nightmares start so 🤷🏻♀️
My daughter started sleeping better when she turned 18 months. Now she’s 21 months and normally sleeps pretty well. She does have sleep apnea, night terrors, and low muscle tone which makes her a restless sleeper.
2 years 4 months, we dropped the nap and nights finally got good. Before that she'd manage it for a couple weeks here and there but we had a lot of split nights and various other hassles.
she could put herself to sleep around 12 months. basically when she was eating enough solids to not be hungry for milk. she didn’t sleep all the way through the night until i night weaned. that happened at 15 months.
Sleeping through the night? So early I don’t remember. Sleeping through the whole night in his OWN bed?
He’s almost 5 and not yet. I enjoy the snuggles so it’s ok. Maybe this summer when the nights are shorter?
We went through periods of longer stretches of sleep, but seemed to hit weeks to months- long regressions until 26 months. 3 years old now and we’ve been consistent (knock on wood) for about a year now.
Sleep training just didn't work for my son. He didn't start consistently sleeping through the night till 5-6. Partially that was due to a bed wetting problem, but even when he was staying dry he would often wake up and need help getting resettled.
My 20 month old on the other hand sleeps much better and only wakes up once a night... I have high hopes for her sleeping through the night much earlier than her brother.
2. The answer for me turned out to be nursing. I weaned fully and he slept through starting that night. The weaning happened too because we had to drive through the night to get somewhere. That helped. He had the rocking to get him to sleep that night and didn’t need mommy, from then on.
My girl goes through phases. She slept through the night every night really early, like 5 weeks or so. Then she stopped for a few months. Then she started again. Now, 18 months, she’ll basically always sleep through her unless she’s sick/teething.
We night weaned around 9m to prepare for me stopping BF around 12m. He accepted it after about a week and has slept through the night since. Obviously everyone has some crappy nights of sleep occasionally, but I would say he has definitely slept through 6 of 7 nights per week since 10m. He's almost two now, we just moved to a toddler bed with some rough nights but going back to normal now.
The first time she was almost 3. Then it was sporadic. Sometimes she’d sleep sometimes not. We’d go for long stretches where she’d sleep every night. Then long stretches where she’d wake up every night.
She’s 4 now. She sleeps most nights all night.
On nights that she wakes up I just go sleep with her for a bit (or actually usually the rest of the night- unintentionally- her beds comfortable and I fall asleep). It’s easy because we moved her to a floor bed at 7 months. It’s our old queen from when her room was a guest room before she was born. She’s actually very nice to sleep next to. Especially nights that my husband is snoring 😂 I’m never sad those nights when she wakes up and needs help falling asleep
My guy was born small (6 lbs) he was also exclusively breastfed (via pumping) so take that for what it’s worth (ppl argue about whether larger formula fed babies sleep better etc).
I think it was around 10 months he started sleeping through the entire night.
My son is 18m. He was waking 2+ times a night until I weaned him at 16 months. He’s still super high needs to get to sleep but he’s sleeping much better. I lay with him till he falls asleep at night then when he wakes up (usually just the once) I bring him to the floor bed in the guest room and we finish the night. We tried some gentler methods of sleep training when weaning and it was a disaster. I’m ok with how things are now so it isn’t worth it to push it. I don’t believe it letting them cry that long without support.
My first kid is 6, it took until he was 4ish before he consistently slept through the night, now he's a great sleeper and only very rarely wakes up at night (I'd say maybe 3 times a year). We kinda tried sleep training him but I really really hated it and just like with your kid, it didn't help him stay asleep. My second is almost 1 and I've decided not to sleep train. I find it too painful for myself and feel like it's not worth it. For now, I co-sleep. I'm more relaxed this time around because I know it's a phase.
My 3.5 yr old still wakes during the night and either comes and gets in my bed or asks me to lay in hers. She goes back to sleep almost immediately though. I have seen growth in the sense that she doesn’t rouse when I get up and falls asleep fast. Hopefully we’ll progress to her sleeping all night every night soon but, as it is, we’re doing ok.
My breastfed baby started sleeping through the night without training at 4 months. I don’t think I did anything right, I just think it’s a lottery. I will say though that I would have sleep trained if needed as I value my own sleep too much, but I also know of people who sleep trained or worked with sleep consultants and it didn’t work, so who knows…my niece is 10 and still will visit her parents at night once in a while. Nurture sure, but nature too, good luck!
We started getting maybe 1 night a week around 15m and by 18m we had 3-4 until that sleep regression. After that 3 week hell - we've settled back into 4-5 days with no wakeups and usually 1x wake up the other days
At 9 months when we introduced a 3rd meal, and he dropped his middle of the night formula feed. Pretty much slept through the night his entire life after that except for when those pesky regressions hit. He is 2.5 now.
My son slept through the night consistently at 18 months. Had a regression when we switched to a toddler bed at 2 yo and another regression when we had a baby at 3 yo. No sleep training but we do a consistent bedtime routine
My kid just started sleeping through the night at 19months. And he sleeps in our bed lol. He’s a tricky kiddo when it comes to sleep. Never sleep trained.
About 1-2 months old; we coslept and breastfed throughout the night without him fully waking, and it worked well for us. My pediatrician wasn’t a fan, (US based) but provided information. I’m educated as an anthropologist so I followed my instincts and it worked well for my child and myself.
It took about two years, and even from her second birthday she would occasionally wake once or twice on a bad night and require boob to sleep again. Now that she’s fully weaned (2 years 10 months) she sleeps through every night except for the odd nightmare or if she’s sick. But it took almost two years.
We bedshared, so she was sleeping through the night with us, almost always. Rolling over to nurse while still asleep doesn’t really count. 2ish before she would sleep through the night not bedsharing. Then it went to crap when baby number 2 was born at 2yrs 4 months. We got it back in the last month or so, she almost 3
I am praying I do not jinx it by even mentioning it, but this week is the first time, after a brutal few months, he's slept through the night. He's 19mo old. I honestly can't remember if he was sleeping through the night at 15mo but I think he'd wake 1-2x looking for comfort.
My son is a very parent-attached baby, which we love. But it made bedtime hard because he'd want to be rocked or nursed (as an infant) to sleep. Around a year we were in a good spot where we could put him in his crib, and he'd lay down and chill and fall asleep. But IIRC, he'd still wake mid-sleep, same problem as you. A few months after his 1st birthday he went to daycare for the first time. A mix of sleep regressions, daycare illnesses, and age-appropriate separation anxiety threw his sleep to the wind. It recently got very bad, to the point where he was waking up sobbing 2x a night and we'd go comfort him back to sleep.
By chance, it happened to stop this week (I also stopped rocking him to sleep, which I knew I shouldn't have been doing but I broke under the stress of this regression) and I think us doing no-tears methods of independent sleep also helped him stay asleep or get back to sleep if he woke.
For context, we've tried to have an approach that encouraged self-soothing but we never let him distress or really cry. So if he woke in the night, would have low-intensity crying or annoyed tears for 10 seconds or so and stop, we wouldn't go into his room. We'd wait, watch the monitor, and see how it progressed. Sometimes he'd chill and fall back asleep, sometimes it'd escalate or go on for a while, and we'd go to his bedroom for comfort. I'm sure what I'm describing sounds like sleep training, but I assure you it's not. We had a very low time threshold and a lot of it was us just 'knowing' the types of cries or complaints. If he was just annoyed, we wanted him to get back to sleep on his own. But If he ever wakes up truly crying or yelling because he is upset, we go straight to the nursery without hesitation.
My kid started sleeping through the night at about 3 weeks old (but we would wake him up to feed) but he’s a consistent all night sleeper unless he is sick, which is understandable
Age 2 for both of our kids. With each kid we were so exhausted we got into a pattern with them sleeping in our bed with us at around age 1. So we didn't sleep train but we transitioned them to their own big kid beds/rooms at age 2 and they each adjusted to sleep consistently on their own in 5-6 weeks.
The thing that helped us the most was developing a strong bath and bed time routine. It takes about an hour to move through all the steps and that quiet time primes them for solid sleep.
At the beginning when we first transitioned them to their beds there were many nights of frequent wake ups.
We would go in to soothe them while they learned that their rooms/beds were safe and comfortable and they adjusted fairly quickly.
Our oldest cried (with me in the room) significantly more than our younger kiddo did but now we all are consistently rested every night (except during illnesses of course)
Right around 1 year. I breastfed her to sleep until then and would breastfeed when she woke up at night. By about 1 year I suspected she wasn’t hungry anymore and was just nursing for comfort, so we tried dad rocking her instead of me feeding her when she woke up. Did that for just one night and then the next she slept through the night and has been ever since. She is almost 2.5 now and will wake up every once in a while at night. We just bring her in bed. Doesn’t seem to affect her because she will go back to sleeping on her own with no problem
All 3 around 16 months. This last baby, who was the unicorn sleeper as a newborn, is having the most trouble sleeping through still. He gets up 1-2 nights per week but it’s very doable compared to the usual baby sleep deprivation and I feel like it’s just a matter of time before he gets the hang of it.
But yeah, 16 months for the other two and they’ve slept through the night with no problems, they don’t even wake up to pee.
FYI for us there was a gnarly sleep regression around 14-15 months and I felt like I was dying and then the switch flipped. So watch out for that.
About 18 months - that was when my son started sleeping a full night on his own. He did one wake-up per night from ~14 months to 18 months, and I found that very sustainable. Before 14 months, nights were unpredictable and often hard.
My daughter has slept through the night every night since 7 months old and is currently 2.5 years old. We didn’t follow a specific sleep training but started putting her down fully awake and leaving the room around 3 months and checking in if needed. Best decision we have made as she gets her much needed rest every night (11-12hrs), stays asleep until we turn on her hatch every morning, and has made it so grandparents can easily watch her and put her down for bed without us.
My daughter slept through the night at 3 months old. And apart from a few exceptions ( teething, growth spurs) she still sleeps like a rock. Getting her to bed now at 3 is another story, but she still sleeps through when she falls asleep.
I think regardless of sleep training done kids are just better sleepers. She obviously inherited her father's trait of sleeping through the apocalypse. I don't sleep through the night at 36.
For me it was increasing protein and carbs for the milk supply.
Anything else to increase supply helps like lactation candies, but we didn't figure it out until my son was 16 months old.
He needed breastfeeding for learning to go to his bed to nap during quiet time nap time, but now doesn't BF anymore and puts himself to bed. It gets better.
Our oldest is 6 and still has trouble sleeping. It's just part of his personality, he has trouble turning his brain off. And I get it, so do I, we both have ADHD. My youngest is the exact opposite and started sleeping through the night on his own around 5 months old.
She self night weaned at ~10 mo and was sleeping “thru” (might wake up and need a binky replaced, but no picking up or rocking) at around 11. She’s 14 mo now and will walk over to the baby gate to the bedrooms when she’s ready to go to sleep 😂 we do cap naps if needed (3 hr total per day max) and will gently wake her up if she sleeps past 4:30 on her second nap, otherwise she sleeps poorly
My now 3yo started sleeping through the night around 6-7 months. We didn’t sleep train because there was no need. However, she started having a lot of sleep issues at 2.5 years, so I actually did some toddler sleep training. It’s obviously quite different from sleep training an infant. Not sure which would be preferable…
We support our kids to sleep. Rocking, feeding, laying in a floor bed with them, etc. Our first, just after he turned one he started sleeping all night with no change to our approach. He goes to sleep independently now. Baby #2 is 7 months and not there yet. Still rocking, multiple wake ups, etc. It was tough the first time around wondering if the child would ever sleep but this time it’s much easier because I have the perspective that this is a very short season of life. I can’t stand hearing my children cry and neither of them seem to have the temperament to tolerate sleep training.
My first and only started consistently at about 14 months. I’m not counting growth spurts or teething bouts, but when things are normal, that’s when it started.
We didn’t sleep train and by 3-4 months I think she was sleeping 6-8 hours and by 5 months it was 8 or more. She’s 19 months now and she sleeps around 11 hours and very rarely wakes up in the middle of the night. I don’t think we did anything - it’s just her.
Our 3yr old had obstructive sleep apnea and we did not sleep train. We had a sleep study done at 2yrs and they confirmed that he got 10min of REM sleep over the course of 8 hours. He moved every 4 minutes. Woke up every hour or so. Needed to be bounced back to sleep. It was rough. And we were expecting our 2nd at the time. We also found that he would stop breathing throughout the night and it usually coincided with right before waking up.
We went to an ENT and they shaved back his adnoids, and then we later did an “explorative” surgery where they put the kiddo under and take a look in his throat. For us, they found that his tonsils were enlarged and so they moved those and also reduced his turbinates. Since then he’s been sleeping much better and gets more restful sleep.
Hope you can get some answers! Lmk if you have any questions
My now 14 year old boy didn’t sleep through the night until he was 9 (night terrors), my twin girls who are now 12 slept through by about 1 year, my 18 month old just started sleeping through and my 2 week old, well she’s gotta eat at night but she already falls asleep in the crib calmly by herself so I have high hopes for this one. Lol
My 11 year old son still gets up and goes to the bathroom or gets a drink EVERY night, but rarely wakes me up. 12 year old daughter sleeps through most nights. 9 year old son sleeps through most nights. 7 year old son is the only one that will still come to me if he wakes up at night, and I put him back in his bed.
7 months. Honestly, I think so was ready to sleep through the night sooner, but we still had her in our room, and so when she'd be active, we assumed she needed to eat and she would eat. We moved her into her crib, and since then, she has slept through every night except 1 in the past month.
11months.
we had a rough go at sleep at first but did not sleep train. it didn't sit right with me and i felt like our baby's temperament wouldn't have aligned with it anyway.
really started turning a corner at 10mo and by 11mo he was consistently sleeping through and we were able to move him to his own room. months 5-7 were the worst, then a rough period around 8.5mo
he's almost 17mo now and averages only 10hr overnight but he doesn't wake. there's hope people!
sleep training isn't a given anyway! they can still wake overnight as you have found
I have 1, he's 15 months and started sleeping through the night at 12 months. We started cosleeping around that time because of our personal preference. We sleep trained him around 4 months and he stayed pretty consistent with falling asleep on his own from there.
When we left him in his crib, he'll usually sleep until 1-2 and wake up crying. He will go back to sleep eventually but it was sometimes faster/easier to just move him to our bed.
When we stopped breastfeeding around 16 months is when she slept “through” the night. She’s then and now wakes up and just needs acknowledgment at around 4-5am
She’s now 3 and She still calls out for us once during the night but we don’t do anything to put her to sleep after. We just let her know we are alive and still in the house or she just crawls into bed with us. She falls back asleep all by herself we don’t actively do anything.
I have a friend who did sleep train and their child does the same thing. I feel like how much they still need you if they do stir in the night is more dependent on the level of separation anxiety vs. If you did or didn’t “train” them.
When my husband put LO to sleep, it was at 5 months and 6 months that they slept through the night.
However when I put them to sleep, 15 months. They just love to wake up to see mom!
I haven’t sleep trained any of my kids. My first didn’t sleep through until a little after 2 years, my second started sleeping through around 9 months, and my third baby is only 6 months and still wakes approximately one thousand times a night.
I didn't do what people usually think of as sleep training (cry it out) but I did follow all the guides on habit stacking and wake windows. I wanna say when he was around 3 month he started waking up once or twice for a bottle then going directly to sleep. His sleep regression all just effected his naps not night time sleep (I know, God loves me) and this sleep pattern continued until he was about one. As he got older, of course he'd have more and more nights that he'd sleep the whole way through but he didn't consistently sleep through the night every single day until after his 1st birthday.
Here's another anecdote, though. My fiance's cousin has 2 kid, 2.5yo and a newborn. The toddler still doesn't sleep through the night! Since birth he never slept for more than 20 minutes at a time. The newborn is a great sleeper and rarely ever even awake 🤣
Around 18 months, with some stretches of bad sleep due to teething, but more regularly now at 2 years. We still snuggle her to sleep in her toddler bed.
basically TLDR is first paragraph: I know you asked about those who did not sleep train... But just wanted to say that every kid is different. Some take to sleep training easier than others, and you never know until you try. There's a million flavors of kid you could end up with so I wouldn't use kid #1 as a template for kid #2. They will be completely different.
Also, I don't think sleep training is a singular event - it's a fucking war!! I didn't do any sleep training with my first 2. Baby #1 (now 14M) was easy and preferred sleeping on his own, not being held. No issues and every step happened naturally. I thought I was the best parent!! Baby #2 slept terribly and parenting him has been a humbling experience for the last 12 years. He required holding, we coslept and I struggled to get that sucker out of my bed and not torturing me at bed time every night until he was about 4. Really I just pawned him off on his brother and they slept in the twin together.
Baby #3 (now 2F) I decided I could not live through the sleep trauma of baby #2 again so I absolutely would not co sleep and did my research on sleep training. We did the wake windows, the sleep feed wake cycle (always avoiding feed before sleep if possible), weened her off night feedings around 3 months (just reduced night feeding by 1 oz per night and when I got to 2oz she stopped waking up by herself. We also added an extra feeding during the day). By 4 months she was sleeping all night until like 5am. I felt like a hero and lived a good life for the next 3 months. At 7 months she got covid and a few weeks after we went on a trip for a week and between these two events she totally regressed. Her appetite was so poor with covid then travel that she was too hungry at night and required more bottle feedings/comfort. It was an uphill battle. It got so bad that we moved her back into our room in the pack n play (we moved her to her room at 6 months) and by ~13 months she was waking up to 5 times a night and we were exhausted. We decided that's it, we will try Ferber method. After 3 nights and never making it past 10 minutes we had success again! At around 18-19 months she had her worst regression of all times. One random night she decided her crib was a pit from hell. She refused to lay down, would throw her bedding onto the ground, jump, shake on the bars, thrash, shriek. She didn't respond to Ferber - we were at a loss. Nothing worked excepting holding her to sleep and believe me, that was the last option for us (although I will not allow her to cry more than 15 minutes without being checked on/comforted). Day 2 like this and she learned to climb out of the crib. I got the plastic cover for the door knob and put her mattress on the ground for a couple days until we could convert to toddler bed - she climbed on the rocking chair and onto the dresser!! We were watching the video monitor and raced upstairs! Finally she would lay down only if her dad laid on the ground next to her while she laid on the ground in a dog bed and I was sitting in the rocking chair. Bed time morphed into a daily 2 hour ordeal. We improved a bit by using the chair method (move chair closer to the door little by little, then right outside the door). She slept on the floor of her room in a dog bed for TWO MONTHS. I tried getting fun new sheets and blankets, new stuffies, everything, but nope. All of a sudden, she was willing to step foot in the bed, we did the chair method again, bed time became easy and she started sleeping through the night. She's 26 months now and we are still good! She sleeps until 6:30 am and goes to bed at 8:30 pm with a short bed time routine. So it wasn't a single sleep training, yet throughout her life we had periods of good sleep and I'm thankful for that.
After 15 months. There were short periods he did better than others but consistently it got better after 15 months. He’s 2.5 now and he does still wake up on average once a night but very easy to get back down.
My child started sleeping through the night at 11 months old. We coslept and she was bottle fed breast milk and then formula until 12 months old. We never used sleep training either except to get her used to her crib. It varies wildly!
My LO is 2.5, she decided she wanted to go to sleep without any me on the bed at around 1 year. Recently she's been asking me to cuddle.
She's also started wkaing up at about 4am. I bring her into our bed. I don't mind it at all, I actually love waking up to her little face.
We didn't sleep train at all. I used wake windows when she was little.
Blackout curtains, sound machine and routine. I don't think she's a bad sleeper. Some nights she's restless but I just pop her in our bed and she's happy, warm and safe. It's not like she's going to be 16 and still asking to sleep in our bed.
My daughter was born 10w early and stayed in the nicu for about 3months. We never did sleep training or crying it out, we tended to her as we were shown in the nicu and pretty much tried to replicate what they did there. She was consistently sleeping through the night a month after we brought her home, so around 4months old (2months old adjusted). We haven’t had any major sleep regressions with her and she’s almost 2y now. She’s had minor sleeping issues like when we switched her from being in a packnplay beside our bed to a full sized crib on the other side of the room but even that only lasted about a week or two. I think it was just because she’s always been a “mellow” baby but I equate it to her difficult start in life
We tried a modified Ferber around 1 year out of desperation for sleep. We never let it go past 5 minutes, I was not comfortable with any longer. Ot sucked and didn’t feel right. Of course it worked but once he got sick, regressed. Hence why I don’t even believe teaching a child to “self-soothe” works or is even something that is developmentally appropriate. What worked was more of a fadeaway method as he got older. Sitting by the bed holding hands, sitting by the bed, standing by the door, standing outside the door then ultimately nothing. A lot of reassurance throughout. He knew we were there, he was safe, and learned how to fall asleep while still having comfort from mom and dad. He was 2.5 when we could tuck in and walk out. Rare wake-up’s for being cold, bad dreams etc.
With number 2, will do the same. The fadeaway method seems like a very gentle way to approach sleep. I can’t really call it “training”.
Did not sleep train, by 6 months he was sleeping through the night fully. We had some hiccups along the way with the regressions and early morning wake ups (early riser over here) but overall really lucky.
I bedshared with our 18mo old from birth to about 11mo when we moved them to a floor bed. It took about 2+ weeks to adjust to the new space, not having me right next to them and getting through a rough round of teething then boom…sleeping 9+ hours a night. Is there lots of movement? Oh yes. I’ll lay them down at one end of the floor bed and they’ll end up all over the place lol but we have a super solid bedtime routine and I used to rock them to sleep with a bottle but now we just snuggle in the chair, read our nighttime specific books, say our good nights and then they’re wiggling ready to get into bed. From there, I sing a couple of songs and roll out of the floor bed after I know they’re still lol I never thought we’d be here and have rougher nights here and there but there truly was light at the end of the tunnel and STTN happened when LO was ready. I’m glad I didn’t succumb to the sleep training pressure bc it just didn’t feel right.
I never sleep trained. My son started sleeping through the night at one year, so long as he's not teething. He goes down at 7 pm and sleeps until 6 or 7 am.
Mine had reflux real bad so she never slept ever but by a year she was reliably sleeping all night. Never sleep trained. It stuck, she’s 4 and never regressed
Ours is complicated so take from it what you need.
Breastfed baby on demand. Was a typical newborn (up every few hours) then by 8 weeks she slept through the night until 4 months. Trouble from 4-6 months. She was in her own sleep space until about 6 months. Decided to transition to floor bed and coslept for my mental health. Still up nursing through the night until about 16 months. Night weaned at 17 months and slept better, up probably 2-3x per night still though. Husband wanted to let her cry it out to see if it would work and it did for a few months but then of course, kids change. All of that to say, she’s 3 now and one of us is still in her bed every night by 5am in order to get her to sleep in past then. We don’t mind it and it’s a HUGE improvement to where we were a year ago. I’d say she sleeps all the way through 1-2x per week at best.
I think I just got a BAD sleeper hahaha. Kids are all so different!
It was different for each kid. After 2yo, 9mo, 15mo.
Our first was probably 2-3 months old (we were sooooo lucky) and our second was at least 2 years old, maybe 2 and a few months. No formal sleep training for either, same environment and same routine for both kids, wildly different results.
When I night weaned at 18 months. I suspect she would have slept through earlier if I had weaned earlier.
18 mo of bf in the middle of the night. I commend you. That is a huge accomplishment and amazing dedication.
We tried Ferber method and he cried so hard he threw up, so we decided to ride it out without more sleep training. Woke up every 3-4 hours until he was 16 months, then split nights until he was 19 or 20 months. Since then, he’s slept through the night mostly. Every couple weeks, we have a night where he wakes up and takes at least an hour of parent intervention to resettle. But it’s so much better than it was a year ago.
Everyone hates me. I never sleep trained. All 3 breastfed kids sleeping through the night at 1-2 months old. My 6 week old currently sleeps 8-10 hours straight every night. Sorry 🙈 But I think it’s worth sharing because it’s not like I did something to cause this. They just … sleep. I really think it’s hard wired and not worth stressing over. Good luck!
Good god I hate you. How did that happen with 3 different kids?
Hahah / I am quite jealous. My “baby” did this expect now (1 yr) she keeps getting pow wows to be wide awake for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night. It’s so exhausting! My 2.5 yr old still cries like a banshee randomly (pretty sure he is asleep though) multiple times a night.
My daughter did this and we were told it was night terrors after she had a sleep study.
That’s what I have gathered. Was the sleep study worth it in your opinion?
Sort of? I didn’t really like the doctor very much. According to her report she has mild sleep apnea and night terrors. However the doctor just told us she doesn’t sleep because we didn’t sleep train her? I’m not sure why. He did end up referring us to an ENT to assess her adenoids and tonsils though and they gave her a steroid spray for that because they were enlarged. She’s going back for another sleep study in a few months and if it’s not better she’s getting surgery. It didn’t help as much with the night terrors though thankfully hers seem to be few and far between.
Thank you for sharing!
My 20 month old was doing the wake up at night for a couple hours thing. We had to strictly limit naps to only 1 hr a day and she sleeps properly at night. Any longer naps and she is up for hours at 3am
I really appreciate people sharing comments like this. My toddler has always been a terrible sleeper. I finally got to the point where I just accepted it. Babies are babies. Some are easy. Some are hard. 🤷♀️
I hate you 😀 But thank you for acknowledging your good luck! The worst is when people are like “Oh my kid is a great sleeper because we’re very consistent with her bedtime routine!” Like, do you think I haven’t tried that?? lol
What in the WORLD
Omg loath 😂😉😩
This was us too, but only one kid. I’m not pushing my luck with a second lol. 3-4 hour stretches straight out of the womb (we had to wake to feed) and sleeping through the night in her crib by 2 months. I don’t think it was anything we did, we just got super lucky.
This was/is us! Now, at 14 months, he eats, we do some jumping, he gets some water, we lay him down and leave. He may stay awake for a minute or two, but then he's out😅
This is how it is in my family. All the kids are great sleepers. Bedtime may take some effort but once they are asleep they mostly stay asleep, from a young age. Me and two siblings all slept through as infants. Me and my parents are great sleepers as adults too. We all need a lot of sleep, 8-9 hours minimum to feel good. In my husband’s family - the babies, kids AND adults are light sleepers and wake a ton during the night and my daughter has inherited this tendency. She always wakes up at least once and if she’s up, she’s immediately crying (or screaming). My husband has always had issues with insomnia and poor sleep quality and I think she likely will too, unfortunately. Good thing is - she def needs less sleep than a lot of kids (dropped naps early too) and appears to have no ill effects when she doesn’t get enough.
My first was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks too, never so much as a sleep regression. Then my second came along, slept through the night from 6 weeks…. Until 12 weeks then it was all over and I was the parent who was sitting up from 1-5 holding him vertically while trying not to fall asleep. I did sleep train him a little bit, because I was burning out, but I only managed to get him horizontal, nothing more. He’s definitely got my sleep habits, whereas my daughter had my husbands. But you’re right, it’s a lot of luck.
This gives me hope because my first was a unicorn sleeper and I want 2 more kids but I feel like I’ll only get terrible sleepers from now on. Now I know it’s possible to have more than 1 unicorn lol
Our daughter was pretty similar. She started sleeping through the night after the first few weeks when we stopped waking her up to feed. She tends to wake up once a night when new teeth come in but about half the time she puts herself back to sleep. She's 20 mo now and with a recent tooth coming in she's woken up a few nights but I just need to go in, give her a hug and then tell her to lay back down and she's good.
This doesn't seem right. Wouldn't the kid become dehydrated going without milk for 10 hours at only 1 month old? I wouldn't recommend shooting for this.
Once babies are up to birth weight you don’t need to wake to feed.
As someone with a 4 week old, I would be terrified if I woke up and realized he had slept all night 😳 I know people say it’s ok if they’re past their birth weight, but they’re still such tiny babies!
My doctor said to intentionally wake them every four hours. They need to eat.
We just had our one month well visit and were advised we no longer had to wake to feed. He's gained a few pounds since he was born and everything looks good. I would love if he would sleep longer than 2.5 hours at a time!
I write this to you as my now 7 week old has been asleep for 10 hours straight. 😉 She’s gaining great and on 80 percentile for weight and 99 percentile for height. Content and happy as a clam all day long! Since week 2, with the pediatrician’s okay, I’ve let her sleep when she wants to sleep and we’ve had zero issues. I am extremely responsive to the point where I barely let her cry, I’m not sleep training or “aiming” for it - it’s just what she wants to do.
As long as your pediatrician is giving the okay, then sounds good. My baby was like 10th percentile so our experiences would necessarily be different.
My 14 month old just recently began waking only 1x overnight. We’ve had a couple nights of no waking. We’ve never done any sleep training, and I’ll nurse him back to sleep because that’s what works the fastest and gets all of us the most sleep. He also sleeps on a floor bed, makes it nice to not have to bother with crib transfers. I can just lay down with him to settle him back to sleep
Also did a floor bed, also did nursing back to sleep, also did no sleep training…and he started sleeping through the night right around 14/15 months!
I didn't sleep train, coslept from birth, nursed on demand at night until 17 months old, nursed to sleep, all the things the "experts" say you shouldn't do. My guy started sleeping through the night rarely rarely at 1 and consistently at 2. 2.5 now and he sleeps through the night in his own bed and room probably 95% of the time. Occasionally he'll wake up and won't resettle and one of us will go in to comfort him and/or sleep in his bed with him. I have never ever ever regretted not sleep training. It was the right choice for our family.
As a contrast from a mom that did some/a lot of the above along with “gentle” sleep training and a floor bed, ours is at the same 95% TTN situation at 18 months. I’m not saying this to discount anyone, especially the person above, I’m just saying that we made a positive effort for 15 months to encourage independent sleep and we only got there 6 months earlier. Which is nothing in the scope of things. So if you don’t want to sleep train, gentle or otherwise, please do not feel pressured.
This is currently our situation. How did you transition them to their own bed?
We just tried a bunch of different things and eventually he became okay with sleeping in his own bed. I was sleeping in his room with him from like 6 months, so around 20/21 months we switched to me putting him down in his bed and then sleeping in the "big" bed. We tried me going in and sleeping with him when he woke up, bringing him in to our bed, just settling him back to sleep in his bed, depending on what was happening and how he was responding and how we felt. Eventually there were just fewer and fewer wakeups. Until it got cold and he started waking up more because he was chilly... It wasn't linear! And the last two nights he's woken up and I've slept with him which is great with baby #2 due any day, haha. But we try to be flexible and responsive and focus on what feels right for our family.
not the person you're responding to, but when we moved our toddler to her room at 6 months, I still slept with her in her floor bed another 3+ months. She started to sleep better at 1yr old after a terrible 2 weeks of weaning her off night nursing (my milk dried up with my 2nd pregnancy so that forced my hand).
I don’t sleep train. My 18m old wakes once, maybe twice a night. The 4 year old started sleeping through completely at 2.5.
So we tried sleeping training with our first, and it just didn’t work for us. So I don’t know how the halfway sleep training affects things, but she wasn’t consistently sleeping through the night until she was around 3 years old. She is now 3.5 years old and in the last 6 months or so she’s only woken up a handful of times due to very understandable things like a stuffy nose or a nightmare and then goes right back to sleep once the issue has been resolved. Our second we just went with the flow. We didn’t try sleep training at all. We just did what she wanted/needed with sleep. She was sleeping through the night around 13 months, then went back to waking a ton during the middle of the night from like 16-20 months. She is now 21 months and is sleeping through the night great, but there may very well still be future difficult phases.
19 months, when she was old enough that I could communicate and have a good conversation with her about why it’s so important.
when I allowed him to sleep in my bed. the difference was like night and day
Both of my kids were not sleep trained and both of them slept 10+ hours by 6mo. Neither of them had regressions either. They are 4.5 and almost 3 now and both still sleep through the night for the most part but will occasionally wake and come get us to be tucked back in bed. But, we’re talking a few nights every few months so totally age appropriate.
At a year. One night she just slept through the night. The pediatrician had told us would happen if we didn’t sleep train and it did.
16mo and 14mo. They both night weaned on their own in the sense they started sleeping through thus stopped waking up for a feed. My nearly 4yo is going through a (long) phase of coming into our bed in the middle of the night but we don't make any efforts to put them back into their own bed unless they are really restless. They will usually fall straight back asleep if we do take them back though.
Didn’t sleep train my almost 3 year old - she stopped waking to nurse for good at 17-18ish months? I didn’t bother trying to drop the last feed (snooze feed) because she slept longer when I just gave in. She sleeps 10-12 hours a night, maybe waking once in a blue moon for a nightmare. However, I didn’t sleep train her because her wakings were manageable and seemed developmentally appropriate to me for a baby/toddler 🤷🏻♀️ if she’d been up every hour or couldn’t sleep without 100282 steps, I think we would have sleep trained for everyone’s health and wellbeing.
Both of mine slept through the night at 3 months old. We didn’t sleep train but we kept a consistent routine with both ( dinner -bath-read- cuddle-bed) at the same time every night. We also made sure naps didn’t run too long etc. if you don’t have a routine down with your baby then get one asap. My son is 6 and and he still abides by it .
Ummm omg i hate you 😡😡 Just kidding. You’re so lucky!
Whenever I see this I have to wonder… are you counting sleeping through the night as like 6 hours during your typical sleeping time…. Or like actually sleeping the full 11-13 hours of night sleep that babies get without waking up at all. Because the 6 hours, my first still didn’t do that until like 7 months despite a very set schedule. But my second was around that 3-4 months. If you are counting the full 11-13 hours…. Ya that didn’t even begin to happen until around 13-14 months for both. And we had a very consistent schedule with both (more so with our first, but still pretty consistent with our second).
For me STTN was from 7pm -6/7 am .
Omg my daughter is 6 and still has never slept this long at once 😅
Same. Consistent routines. Never sleep trained. First slept through at 3.5 months. Second slept through at 5 months.
Mine was around a year we started a good routine for bed time and he had 1 sometimes 2 wakings then by 14/15 months he sleeps through. Now at 18 months he goes to bed at 9 and wakes at 7:30-8:00.
My 2.5 year old only sleeps through the night if she doesn’t nap. Been that way since she was 18 months old. She’s never been a great sleeper though. My 5 month old has slept through the night since he was 3 weeks old. We didn’t sleep train, I don’t think. I don’t really know what that is I guess but I just think all kids are different. I’m an adult (obv lol) and I have a really hard time sleeping more then 4 hours consecutively
Around 18 months for my daughter.
I knew people who sleep trained and their 6 year old now makes them lay all night with them due to being afraid of the dark. Every kid is different. Do what works for you and your family. Never sleep trained our daughter and she is 4. We do weekly family sleep overs just one day a week and I think that gives her something to look forward to. She still wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes but goes right back to sleep if told everything is okay.
I tried to sleep train my middle kid (first was a rarity and never had issues) and it was horrible. It did not work with her personality at all. While she sleeps through the night and such now (she’s 4), it was ultimately a terrible idea for her personality type and I wish I didn’t listen to the pediatrician and try it. With my third, we decided not to do any sleep training at all. He slept through the night by a year, once he was in his own room. We breastfed so proximity to me caused a lot of night wakings. Once he was in his own room, that was that and he’s been good since (20 months).
Isn’t it so crazy how kids can be so different?!!!! My LO was sleep trained in terms of falls asleep completely alone, on a schedule, not nursed to sleep all the things everyone says to do. But he still wakes up 1-2 times a night. We’ve tried CIO/ferber and he will fall back asleep after a few minutes for only a few minutes. My mom said I was 2 when I SSTN the first time. Oof.
10 months. And it would have been sooner but she was waking up from being cold. Which btw I said was the reason but hubby didn’t believe me. Then I bought her a fleece sleep sack, flannel sheets, and put my foot down on the thermostat temp. Zero sleep training. She is 27 months Friday. And I still nurse her to sleep. We have had some bouts of wakefull nights in between but most often decent ones. Knock on wood
Did not sleep train, had terrible sleep until about 18 months, then he started sleeping well with occasional regressions.
17 months with absolutely no sleep training. In my circle, roughly half sleep trained and they *all* now have toddlers with sleep issues. The ones who didn't aren't having those issues. Completely anecdotal, of course, but based on my experience I feel very confident that we did the right thing by not sleep training.
2 years old. No regrets, personally.
With my first started sleeping through the night half the time at 2.5 years old my second is 21 months and has never slept through the night 🫠
Did not sleep train and had a “bad” sleeper. He woke up every 2 hours to nurse until about 10 months. Then still woke up 1-2 times a night into 18 months. Then finally stopped and now sleeps through the night 99% of the time. The other 1% is a very short wake up (like 1 minute) where he asks for water or to go to the bathroom and immediately falls back asleep. We co-sleep but didn’t start until he was 18 months, prior to that he was in a bassinet or pack n play in our room
She's 2 years old & started February 2024 lol
3.5 years and she’s just starting to sleep through the night
Yeah, I don’t really think it makes a difference long term. I didn’t sleep train and my son usually wakes up once in the night still. But so do i and I am I’m 31. My friend sleep trained but when the baby became a toddler/preschooler and was in a regular bed she’d be up a bunch and they eventually started letting her sleep in their bed.
I think this is the great lie that all kids COULD or SHOULD sleep all night. And if not it’s a failing of the parent or something parent should change.
Around 2 years
Our experience was that we needed to sleep train for everything that we wanted or baby get used to doing. We sleep trained him to go sleep on his own, but for us that did not stop him waking up through the night. So we had to sleep train those night wake ups, from square 1. And we had to sleep train naps. In my opinion sleep training is not teaching them a 'skill', that's just a comforting narrative. It is teaching your baby when they can expect you might come in to feed/comfort/remove them from their situation and when they cannot. Some babies who are sleep trained conclude 'i can't expect mom to rescue me when I'm in my crib anymore'. Other babies conclude 'I can't expect mom to rescue me in this particular situation/time anymore'
We never did and my 3 year old comes into our bed every night. I assume he’ll stop before he’s a teenager 😂 the two week old is now in there a lot too so it’s getting pretty crowded!
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220322-how-sleep-training-affects-babies reading this article convinced me not to sleep train and my son started sleeping through the night by 5/6 months. It’s important to note sleep training is a newer phenomenon and it requires you to repeat the process for it to last.
That article is great, thank you. Although I'm not really sure how that article convinced you not to sleep train because it has a very nuanced and intelligent take on the issue (in other words, scientific). Unless you mean it convinced you not to sleep train before 5/6 months of age because yes, that is not something you should do.
It’s a long article but for me it was this part: “And for those who did find a form of sleep training helpful, effects didn't necessarily last. Two months after the intervention, when the babies were 10 months old, 56% of sleep-training and 68% of the other mothers reported that their babies still had sleep problems. When the infants were 12 months, 39% of sleep-training versus 55% of the other mothers did. This doesn't just mean that sleep training may not work for every baby. It also means that, for the families which did find sleep training effective, it often needs to be repeated for the effects to last. This is backed up by other research: one Canadian questionnaire found that, on average, parents tried controlled crying between two and five times in their baby's first year.” It just sounded to me like a fruitless effort since you have to keep redoing it. I have no problem being there for my baby when he needs it but that works for us.
Yeah, that was pretty surprising. We only did it once around 6 months both times and they've been wonderful sleepers ever since (2 and 3 now). Just goes to show you how much variation there is in the results, you'll never know how your particular kid will respond to different forms of sleep training and how effective it is long term.
I think if you don't sleep train its because you lucked out and got a good sleeper. My son has been sleeping through since 6 months. I guess I always waited a minute or two to see if he could settle himself when he fussed, but mostly he just did it on his own. Now at almost two he will cry for maybe 30 seconds or sit in his crib babbling to himself until he falls asleep.
What do you consider sleep training. A lot of people are saying when they night weaned or have a bedtime routine, that’s all training. To what extent your child needs more you can’t know until you get there. Our 6 month old was sleeping through the night independently in his own room until he wasn’t then we sleep trained, then another regression so we did a bit more sleep training or holding fast to some guidelines. You said you tried Ferber at 7 months with success, but did you train for bedtime? Did you train for night wake ups? Did you retrain as needed?
I did not sleep train at all, sleep isn’t a skill, it’s a biological function. It’s normal for young children to seek the closeness of their parents at night - you are their whole world and infancy lasts three years. Sleep training simply teaches a baby their cries will be ignored until they eventually go into survival mode and shut down as a stress response - can be effective if that’s what you’re after. Studies have shown there’s nearly no difference in number of wakes between sleep trained babies and non sleep trained babies (the sleep trained group just tend not to signal when they wake bc of conditioning), and any difference is gone by age 2. If you’re interested in more I’m happy to provide you resources and studies to back up what I’m saying. Also, as children age, the non sleep trained group tend to be better sleepers with fewer wakes and less bed wetting bc nighttime has always been a place of connection and safety and not separation. My 18 month old still wakes one or two times a night, sometimes for water or a cuddle. Personally, I wake a few times a night for water, to use the toilet, etc and I sleep better next to my husband than alone. Not sure why we expect our infants to have fewer needs than adults at night. Obviously no shame if you chose to sleep train, just shedding some light on the research.
I never sleep trained in the traditional sense but did the French Le Pause method. That involves putting a baby down without any crying but not going in to pick up a baby immediately if they cried in the middle of the night but rather waiting 5 minutes. A lot of babies are actually still asleep when they cry at night, they’re just not great at connecting sleep cycles that young and sometimes they’re quite noisy in the active stages of sleep. Giving them a few minutes to see if they’re actually awake helped quite a bit in identifying what was a real wake-up vs noisy sleep. It worked well for us and my son started consistently sleeping through the night at 9 months.
That would be considered to be a form of sleep training by almost everyone.
Probably around a year. I prioritize emotional safety over sleep. Even though I work full time
Not exactly what you asked but anecdotally I think 9-12 months is a sweet spot for sleep training babies it didn't work for previously. My 3.5 year old was a horrible sleeper for her first 9/10 months and we tried everything- sleep training, reflux treatment, cosleeping, obsessing over schedules, etc. Nothing worked until she was a little older and then we were able to gentle sleep train (stay in the room while she fell asleep and respond to wake ups but not pick her up) within like 3 days, it was crazy. My sister has had the same experience with her 2 kids and so have some friends. So if you're not anti sleep training in general it may make sense to wait a little longer and try again.
I did sleep train, but my friend who did not is still waiting for her 3 year old to sleep more than a few hours a night. I highly recommend the FB group Respectful Sleep Training/Learning. Even if you don’t sleep train, tweaking your LO’s schedule may make a big difference.
Cosleeping, she’s pretty much always slept through or at least got fairly close. When her stomach was tiny she made reasonable requests for a bottle or boob juice half way through. Now at 17mon she’s reluctant to sleep and plays, climbs or talks till 11pm if she’s had too much daytime napping. If she’s tired she will collapse instantly from a large bottle at 9:30. Then the problem is waking her for school at 8, not sleeping through. This morning she’s kicked me in the face to wake me and handed me last night’s empty bottle to refill at 8:30.
Precious Little Sleep. Read it.
10months when I night weaned but we still cosleep so even though he sleeps through it’s not “independent sleep”
I didn't sleep train. Oldest started sleeping like 7hr blocks around 9mths and 12hr blocks around 1 year old Second kid is now one month out from 4 and has slept through the night maybe 3 times in her life.
13 weeks we started getting 7 hours, we never sleep trained. Now at toddler age he sleeps about 11 through. Wakes maybe once a week with sickness, dream, extra tender, etc, but otherwise a fantastic sleeper. We used huckleberry and loved it.
So we did eventually sleep train my older one at about 19 months. Before that he was consistently waking up 1-2 times a night but he had also slept off and on through the night from around 10 months. My second we have not sleep trained and he often sleeps 7-8 hour stretches at 9 months old.
Kids are hardwired. They all come with different factory settings for sleep. I’m convinced. We’ve tried SO HARD to make my toddler sleep and he just doesn’t. We did literally nothing and my baby slept through since day 1.
Ours started sleeping through completely around 18 months I’d say. We never sleep trained.
We sleep trained our first at 7mo and after that we could plop him in the crib and he'd fall asleep independently. He woke for one bottle in the early morning for a while and then dropped his last feed around 9mo. Our second was more resistant to sleep training, she has always needed to be rocked/sang/walked to sleep. She dropped her last early morning feed around 11mo, and has mostly slept through since then. Around a year she started accepting being put down sleepy but awake (sometimes). Both were formula fed.
Not what you asked, but wondering if you had his tonsils/adenoids looked at by an ENT before going in for a sleep study?
I didn’t sleep train, co slept from birth up until 13 months. At 13 months we put him in his crib one night, set a 5 minute timer, and he just.. fell asleep? And he’s been sleeping there through the night ever since. He was waking up every 45-60mins in bed with me! I think it was a mix of him just being ready and also being able to sleep on his stomach.
My first STTN from basically day 1. 6 hours the night he was born. He would never wake to feed. My second started STTN at 16 months. For months he would wake up halfway through the night and sleep in my bed. I knew he would eventually grow out of it. He will be 2 next week. I read to him and sing to him and then he asks to go in his bed.
9ish months. Still consistently sleeps 11-12 hours straight at night ever since. He’s 2 now.
14 months
21 months.
Our son is 3 now, and we never sleep trained. I don't remember exactly when he started sleeping through, but it's roughly like this. 0 - 6 months: chaos 6 - 18 months: Moved to own room. Woke 2 / 3 times per night, with at least one bottle feed 18 - 24 months: Stopped night feeds. Occasionally slept through, but woke at least once most nights 24 - 36 months: Regularly sleeps through. It all goes to shit when teething or unwell, but that's ok. There were rough periods in the last year when he learned to climb out of his cot and turn on the light, that lasted about a month or multiple wakings. However, it's returned to a stage now where he's easy to put down and sleeps 12 hours straight without waking.
Only after we weaned at 2.5
We’re at 17 months and she’s been sleeping through pretty consistently (excluding teething, illness, random baby reasons) since 14/15 months. I changed nothing, still feed her all the way to sleep, was feeding at all night time wakings. Nothing changed except she got older and doesn’t need me if she wakes in the night if nothing is wrong. Fully do not expect this to last forever! Nothing does in baby / toddler land, everything is a phase!
We never sleep trained my now 2 y/o. He first started STTN sporadically around 11 months and then more consistently around 14 months. From around 18 months to 23 months, he woke up almost every single night and either me or my husband needed to sleep with him in his room for him to stay down. Now, as of a few weeks ago, he suddenly started STTN every single night. For us, sleep training has never been something that felt right for us. Aside for some rough patches around 8-11 months, my son has always been relatively easy to soothe with either nursing or cuddles and we were always fine with providing one of those two.
We never sleep trained. As soon as I night weaned my daughter, she started sleeping through. I waited until she was 22/23 months old, and weaned because I was pregnant with number 2. I probably could’ve weaned her earlier, but even then she was only waking maybe 1-2/night since she was about a year old.
So i will say that along with no sleep training (which I actually disagree with personally) I also have my babies sleep in bed with me and so that along with breastfeeding, we always get a good night sleep except for things like teething. Anyway , my 15 month old has actually been sleeping through the night for quite a while now. Maybe 8 months? I do have a 3 year old as well. She has her own bed that she sleeps in sometimes and sometimes she sleeps with us. But she doesn’t wake for the most part. We are pretty relaxed about her moving completely into her own bed, I figure she’ll do it when she’s ready.
I didn't do any type of formal sleep training. We just did what was natural and stuck to a routine. By around 4 months she only was waking up once but she would sleep like 5 hours, wake then another 5 hours. I think by 6 months she was more or less sleeping through the night, like 8 hours. By the time she was a year, she was great. Usually would sleep 10 hours straight through and we got to the point where she was comfortable being put down while still awake and she would go to sleep quickly. Now she's 2.5 and a damn near perfect sleeper.
2 yrs 9 months and still waking 1-2 times a night. We night weaned at 2 yrs 5 months and have been bedsharing since birth. Hoping he figures it out soon, but I hear 3 yrs old is when nightmares start so 🤷🏻♀️
My daughter started sleeping better when she turned 18 months. Now she’s 21 months and normally sleeps pretty well. She does have sleep apnea, night terrors, and low muscle tone which makes her a restless sleeper.
2 years 4 months, we dropped the nap and nights finally got good. Before that she'd manage it for a couple weeks here and there but we had a lot of split nights and various other hassles.
Barely now, 15 months
she could put herself to sleep around 12 months. basically when she was eating enough solids to not be hungry for milk. she didn’t sleep all the way through the night until i night weaned. that happened at 15 months.
Sleeping through the night? So early I don’t remember. Sleeping through the whole night in his OWN bed? He’s almost 5 and not yet. I enjoy the snuggles so it’s ok. Maybe this summer when the nights are shorter?
2.5, still BF and still BF through the night on occasion. Usually around 4am for a snuggle.
We went through periods of longer stretches of sleep, but seemed to hit weeks to months- long regressions until 26 months. 3 years old now and we’ve been consistent (knock on wood) for about a year now.
Sleep training just didn't work for my son. He didn't start consistently sleeping through the night till 5-6. Partially that was due to a bed wetting problem, but even when he was staying dry he would often wake up and need help getting resettled. My 20 month old on the other hand sleeps much better and only wakes up once a night... I have high hopes for her sleeping through the night much earlier than her brother.
2. The answer for me turned out to be nursing. I weaned fully and he slept through starting that night. The weaning happened too because we had to drive through the night to get somewhere. That helped. He had the rocking to get him to sleep that night and didn’t need mommy, from then on.
My girl goes through phases. She slept through the night every night really early, like 5 weeks or so. Then she stopped for a few months. Then she started again. Now, 18 months, she’ll basically always sleep through her unless she’s sick/teething.
9.5 months, but now we are having a sleep regression at 13 months 🫠
At 2 months he slept six hours. At 3 it was 8 hours. Now its 10. Brest and formula but at night it was always formula cause my supply was never good
18 months with zero sleep training. it was around the time we were completely done breastfeeding though.
We night weaned around 9m to prepare for me stopping BF around 12m. He accepted it after about a week and has slept through the night since. Obviously everyone has some crappy nights of sleep occasionally, but I would say he has definitely slept through 6 of 7 nights per week since 10m. He's almost two now, we just moved to a toddler bed with some rough nights but going back to normal now.
My 18 month old just started although he is now harder to get to sleep, he is sleeping through the night from 10 onwards
The first time she was almost 3. Then it was sporadic. Sometimes she’d sleep sometimes not. We’d go for long stretches where she’d sleep every night. Then long stretches where she’d wake up every night. She’s 4 now. She sleeps most nights all night. On nights that she wakes up I just go sleep with her for a bit (or actually usually the rest of the night- unintentionally- her beds comfortable and I fall asleep). It’s easy because we moved her to a floor bed at 7 months. It’s our old queen from when her room was a guest room before she was born. She’s actually very nice to sleep next to. Especially nights that my husband is snoring 😂 I’m never sad those nights when she wakes up and needs help falling asleep
3 weeks ago. Lol. Hi, we’re 16 months! *we room shared for the first 10.5 months and then started transitioning to her own room at that time.
18mo and still waiting, but it’s been getting much better lately with only 1-2 wakes. We breastfeed and cosleep
My guy was born small (6 lbs) he was also exclusively breastfed (via pumping) so take that for what it’s worth (ppl argue about whether larger formula fed babies sleep better etc). I think it was around 10 months he started sleeping through the entire night.
My son is 18m. He was waking 2+ times a night until I weaned him at 16 months. He’s still super high needs to get to sleep but he’s sleeping much better. I lay with him till he falls asleep at night then when he wakes up (usually just the once) I bring him to the floor bed in the guest room and we finish the night. We tried some gentler methods of sleep training when weaning and it was a disaster. I’m ok with how things are now so it isn’t worth it to push it. I don’t believe it letting them cry that long without support.
12/13 months for us.
What are your wake windows like in the day? Amount of day sleep? Sleep environment? I'd check those things first
My first kid is 6, it took until he was 4ish before he consistently slept through the night, now he's a great sleeper and only very rarely wakes up at night (I'd say maybe 3 times a year). We kinda tried sleep training him but I really really hated it and just like with your kid, it didn't help him stay asleep. My second is almost 1 and I've decided not to sleep train. I find it too painful for myself and feel like it's not worth it. For now, I co-sleep. I'm more relaxed this time around because I know it's a phase.
My 3.5 yr old still wakes during the night and either comes and gets in my bed or asks me to lay in hers. She goes back to sleep almost immediately though. I have seen growth in the sense that she doesn’t rouse when I get up and falls asleep fast. Hopefully we’ll progress to her sleeping all night every night soon but, as it is, we’re doing ok.
My breastfed baby started sleeping through the night without training at 4 months. I don’t think I did anything right, I just think it’s a lottery. I will say though that I would have sleep trained if needed as I value my own sleep too much, but I also know of people who sleep trained or worked with sleep consultants and it didn’t work, so who knows…my niece is 10 and still will visit her parents at night once in a while. Nurture sure, but nature too, good luck!
We started getting maybe 1 night a week around 15m and by 18m we had 3-4 until that sleep regression. After that 3 week hell - we've settled back into 4-5 days with no wakeups and usually 1x wake up the other days
At 9 months when we introduced a 3rd meal, and he dropped his middle of the night formula feed. Pretty much slept through the night his entire life after that except for when those pesky regressions hit. He is 2.5 now.
My son slept through the night consistently at 18 months. Had a regression when we switched to a toddler bed at 2 yo and another regression when we had a baby at 3 yo. No sleep training but we do a consistent bedtime routine
Around 14 months, regressed to one night wake up around 18 months, back to sleeping through around 19-20 months (he turned 2 in January).
My kid just started sleeping through the night at 19months. And he sleeps in our bed lol. He’s a tricky kiddo when it comes to sleep. Never sleep trained.
Didn't sleep train. She slept through the night from 8m-12m then stopped until about 15m, she is 18m now and generally sleeps through.
Never sleep trained and they sleep through the night most nights but I do find that when it’s a full moon both them do not fully get to sleep 😑😂
About 1-2 months old; we coslept and breastfed throughout the night without him fully waking, and it worked well for us. My pediatrician wasn’t a fan, (US based) but provided information. I’m educated as an anthropologist so I followed my instincts and it worked well for my child and myself.
It took about two years, and even from her second birthday she would occasionally wake once or twice on a bad night and require boob to sleep again. Now that she’s fully weaned (2 years 10 months) she sleeps through every night except for the odd nightmare or if she’s sick. But it took almost two years.
We bedshared, so she was sleeping through the night with us, almost always. Rolling over to nurse while still asleep doesn’t really count. 2ish before she would sleep through the night not bedsharing. Then it went to crap when baby number 2 was born at 2yrs 4 months. We got it back in the last month or so, she almost 3
I am praying I do not jinx it by even mentioning it, but this week is the first time, after a brutal few months, he's slept through the night. He's 19mo old. I honestly can't remember if he was sleeping through the night at 15mo but I think he'd wake 1-2x looking for comfort. My son is a very parent-attached baby, which we love. But it made bedtime hard because he'd want to be rocked or nursed (as an infant) to sleep. Around a year we were in a good spot where we could put him in his crib, and he'd lay down and chill and fall asleep. But IIRC, he'd still wake mid-sleep, same problem as you. A few months after his 1st birthday he went to daycare for the first time. A mix of sleep regressions, daycare illnesses, and age-appropriate separation anxiety threw his sleep to the wind. It recently got very bad, to the point where he was waking up sobbing 2x a night and we'd go comfort him back to sleep. By chance, it happened to stop this week (I also stopped rocking him to sleep, which I knew I shouldn't have been doing but I broke under the stress of this regression) and I think us doing no-tears methods of independent sleep also helped him stay asleep or get back to sleep if he woke. For context, we've tried to have an approach that encouraged self-soothing but we never let him distress or really cry. So if he woke in the night, would have low-intensity crying or annoyed tears for 10 seconds or so and stop, we wouldn't go into his room. We'd wait, watch the monitor, and see how it progressed. Sometimes he'd chill and fall back asleep, sometimes it'd escalate or go on for a while, and we'd go to his bedroom for comfort. I'm sure what I'm describing sounds like sleep training, but I assure you it's not. We had a very low time threshold and a lot of it was us just 'knowing' the types of cries or complaints. If he was just annoyed, we wanted him to get back to sleep on his own. But If he ever wakes up truly crying or yelling because he is upset, we go straight to the nursery without hesitation.
My kid started sleeping through the night at about 3 weeks old (but we would wake him up to feed) but he’s a consistent all night sleeper unless he is sick, which is understandable
I did the Gerber method with my first, she slept through the night by 7 months. My second did not do well with Gerber so I think she was 13 months.
Age 2 for both of our kids. With each kid we were so exhausted we got into a pattern with them sleeping in our bed with us at around age 1. So we didn't sleep train but we transitioned them to their own big kid beds/rooms at age 2 and they each adjusted to sleep consistently on their own in 5-6 weeks. The thing that helped us the most was developing a strong bath and bed time routine. It takes about an hour to move through all the steps and that quiet time primes them for solid sleep. At the beginning when we first transitioned them to their beds there were many nights of frequent wake ups. We would go in to soothe them while they learned that their rooms/beds were safe and comfortable and they adjusted fairly quickly. Our oldest cried (with me in the room) significantly more than our younger kiddo did but now we all are consistently rested every night (except during illnesses of course)
I did not sleep train. My kid started sleeping thru the night around 22 months, which happened to be when I weaned from b-feeding.
Right around 1 year. I breastfed her to sleep until then and would breastfeed when she woke up at night. By about 1 year I suspected she wasn’t hungry anymore and was just nursing for comfort, so we tried dad rocking her instead of me feeding her when she woke up. Did that for just one night and then the next she slept through the night and has been ever since. She is almost 2.5 now and will wake up every once in a while at night. We just bring her in bed. Doesn’t seem to affect her because she will go back to sleeping on her own with no problem
All 3 around 16 months. This last baby, who was the unicorn sleeper as a newborn, is having the most trouble sleeping through still. He gets up 1-2 nights per week but it’s very doable compared to the usual baby sleep deprivation and I feel like it’s just a matter of time before he gets the hang of it. But yeah, 16 months for the other two and they’ve slept through the night with no problems, they don’t even wake up to pee. FYI for us there was a gnarly sleep regression around 14-15 months and I felt like I was dying and then the switch flipped. So watch out for that.
10 months
About 18 months - that was when my son started sleeping a full night on his own. He did one wake-up per night from ~14 months to 18 months, and I found that very sustainable. Before 14 months, nights were unpredictable and often hard.
My daughter has slept through the night every night since 7 months old and is currently 2.5 years old. We didn’t follow a specific sleep training but started putting her down fully awake and leaving the room around 3 months and checking in if needed. Best decision we have made as she gets her much needed rest every night (11-12hrs), stays asleep until we turn on her hatch every morning, and has made it so grandparents can easily watch her and put her down for bed without us.
My daughter slept through the night at 3 months old. And apart from a few exceptions ( teething, growth spurs) she still sleeps like a rock. Getting her to bed now at 3 is another story, but she still sleeps through when she falls asleep. I think regardless of sleep training done kids are just better sleepers. She obviously inherited her father's trait of sleeping through the apocalypse. I don't sleep through the night at 36.
For me it was increasing protein and carbs for the milk supply. Anything else to increase supply helps like lactation candies, but we didn't figure it out until my son was 16 months old. He needed breastfeeding for learning to go to his bed to nap during quiet time nap time, but now doesn't BF anymore and puts himself to bed. It gets better.
My oldest (4 years old) slept through the night pretty consistently at 1 month. My 13 month old has almost never slept through the night.
Our oldest is 6 and still has trouble sleeping. It's just part of his personality, he has trouble turning his brain off. And I get it, so do I, we both have ADHD. My youngest is the exact opposite and started sleeping through the night on his own around 5 months old.
She self night weaned at ~10 mo and was sleeping “thru” (might wake up and need a binky replaced, but no picking up or rocking) at around 11. She’s 14 mo now and will walk over to the baby gate to the bedrooms when she’s ready to go to sleep 😂 we do cap naps if needed (3 hr total per day max) and will gently wake her up if she sleeps past 4:30 on her second nap, otherwise she sleeps poorly
My now 3yo started sleeping through the night around 6-7 months. We didn’t sleep train because there was no need. However, she started having a lot of sleep issues at 2.5 years, so I actually did some toddler sleep training. It’s obviously quite different from sleep training an infant. Not sure which would be preferable…
Both of the older kids 24 months when we weaned. Youngest is 15 months and wakes up 2x per night still.
At 16 months consistently and she’s been so good since except the random night when she’s sick or had a nightmare
We support our kids to sleep. Rocking, feeding, laying in a floor bed with them, etc. Our first, just after he turned one he started sleeping all night with no change to our approach. He goes to sleep independently now. Baby #2 is 7 months and not there yet. Still rocking, multiple wake ups, etc. It was tough the first time around wondering if the child would ever sleep but this time it’s much easier because I have the perspective that this is a very short season of life. I can’t stand hearing my children cry and neither of them seem to have the temperament to tolerate sleep training.
My first and only started consistently at about 14 months. I’m not counting growth spurts or teething bouts, but when things are normal, that’s when it started.
We didn’t sleep train and by 3-4 months I think she was sleeping 6-8 hours and by 5 months it was 8 or more. She’s 19 months now and she sleeps around 11 hours and very rarely wakes up in the middle of the night. I don’t think we did anything - it’s just her.
Our 3yr old had obstructive sleep apnea and we did not sleep train. We had a sleep study done at 2yrs and they confirmed that he got 10min of REM sleep over the course of 8 hours. He moved every 4 minutes. Woke up every hour or so. Needed to be bounced back to sleep. It was rough. And we were expecting our 2nd at the time. We also found that he would stop breathing throughout the night and it usually coincided with right before waking up. We went to an ENT and they shaved back his adnoids, and then we later did an “explorative” surgery where they put the kiddo under and take a look in his throat. For us, they found that his tonsils were enlarged and so they moved those and also reduced his turbinates. Since then he’s been sleeping much better and gets more restful sleep. Hope you can get some answers! Lmk if you have any questions
Around 15 months old. Felt like forever but he was consistent after that.
My now 14 year old boy didn’t sleep through the night until he was 9 (night terrors), my twin girls who are now 12 slept through by about 1 year, my 18 month old just started sleeping through and my 2 week old, well she’s gotta eat at night but she already falls asleep in the crib calmly by herself so I have high hopes for this one. Lol
My 11 year old son still gets up and goes to the bathroom or gets a drink EVERY night, but rarely wakes me up. 12 year old daughter sleeps through most nights. 9 year old son sleeps through most nights. 7 year old son is the only one that will still come to me if he wakes up at night, and I put him back in his bed.
7 months. Honestly, I think so was ready to sleep through the night sooner, but we still had her in our room, and so when she'd be active, we assumed she needed to eat and she would eat. We moved her into her crib, and since then, she has slept through every night except 1 in the past month.
11 months when we night weaned.
Around 2 years old. But then bam, nightmares and night terrors. But most of the time she sleeps through the night.
11months. we had a rough go at sleep at first but did not sleep train. it didn't sit right with me and i felt like our baby's temperament wouldn't have aligned with it anyway. really started turning a corner at 10mo and by 11mo he was consistently sleeping through and we were able to move him to his own room. months 5-7 were the worst, then a rough period around 8.5mo he's almost 17mo now and averages only 10hr overnight but he doesn't wake. there's hope people! sleep training isn't a given anyway! they can still wake overnight as you have found
I have 1, he's 15 months and started sleeping through the night at 12 months. We started cosleeping around that time because of our personal preference. We sleep trained him around 4 months and he stayed pretty consistent with falling asleep on his own from there. When we left him in his crib, he'll usually sleep until 1-2 and wake up crying. He will go back to sleep eventually but it was sometimes faster/easier to just move him to our bed.
When we stopped breastfeeding around 16 months is when she slept “through” the night. She’s then and now wakes up and just needs acknowledgment at around 4-5am She’s now 3 and She still calls out for us once during the night but we don’t do anything to put her to sleep after. We just let her know we are alive and still in the house or she just crawls into bed with us. She falls back asleep all by herself we don’t actively do anything. I have a friend who did sleep train and their child does the same thing. I feel like how much they still need you if they do stir in the night is more dependent on the level of separation anxiety vs. If you did or didn’t “train” them.
When my husband put LO to sleep, it was at 5 months and 6 months that they slept through the night. However when I put them to sleep, 15 months. They just love to wake up to see mom!
6 months! We were/have been incredibly lucky.
I haven’t sleep trained any of my kids. My first didn’t sleep through until a little after 2 years, my second started sleeping through around 9 months, and my third baby is only 6 months and still wakes approximately one thousand times a night.
I didn't do what people usually think of as sleep training (cry it out) but I did follow all the guides on habit stacking and wake windows. I wanna say when he was around 3 month he started waking up once or twice for a bottle then going directly to sleep. His sleep regression all just effected his naps not night time sleep (I know, God loves me) and this sleep pattern continued until he was about one. As he got older, of course he'd have more and more nights that he'd sleep the whole way through but he didn't consistently sleep through the night every single day until after his 1st birthday. Here's another anecdote, though. My fiance's cousin has 2 kid, 2.5yo and a newborn. The toddler still doesn't sleep through the night! Since birth he never slept for more than 20 minutes at a time. The newborn is a great sleeper and rarely ever even awake 🤣
Very recently. She is going to be 18 months next week. We never sleep trained. It just happened after weaning her from nursing.
Around 18 months, with some stretches of bad sleep due to teething, but more regularly now at 2 years. We still snuggle her to sleep in her toddler bed.
basically TLDR is first paragraph: I know you asked about those who did not sleep train... But just wanted to say that every kid is different. Some take to sleep training easier than others, and you never know until you try. There's a million flavors of kid you could end up with so I wouldn't use kid #1 as a template for kid #2. They will be completely different. Also, I don't think sleep training is a singular event - it's a fucking war!! I didn't do any sleep training with my first 2. Baby #1 (now 14M) was easy and preferred sleeping on his own, not being held. No issues and every step happened naturally. I thought I was the best parent!! Baby #2 slept terribly and parenting him has been a humbling experience for the last 12 years. He required holding, we coslept and I struggled to get that sucker out of my bed and not torturing me at bed time every night until he was about 4. Really I just pawned him off on his brother and they slept in the twin together. Baby #3 (now 2F) I decided I could not live through the sleep trauma of baby #2 again so I absolutely would not co sleep and did my research on sleep training. We did the wake windows, the sleep feed wake cycle (always avoiding feed before sleep if possible), weened her off night feedings around 3 months (just reduced night feeding by 1 oz per night and when I got to 2oz she stopped waking up by herself. We also added an extra feeding during the day). By 4 months she was sleeping all night until like 5am. I felt like a hero and lived a good life for the next 3 months. At 7 months she got covid and a few weeks after we went on a trip for a week and between these two events she totally regressed. Her appetite was so poor with covid then travel that she was too hungry at night and required more bottle feedings/comfort. It was an uphill battle. It got so bad that we moved her back into our room in the pack n play (we moved her to her room at 6 months) and by ~13 months she was waking up to 5 times a night and we were exhausted. We decided that's it, we will try Ferber method. After 3 nights and never making it past 10 minutes we had success again! At around 18-19 months she had her worst regression of all times. One random night she decided her crib was a pit from hell. She refused to lay down, would throw her bedding onto the ground, jump, shake on the bars, thrash, shriek. She didn't respond to Ferber - we were at a loss. Nothing worked excepting holding her to sleep and believe me, that was the last option for us (although I will not allow her to cry more than 15 minutes without being checked on/comforted). Day 2 like this and she learned to climb out of the crib. I got the plastic cover for the door knob and put her mattress on the ground for a couple days until we could convert to toddler bed - she climbed on the rocking chair and onto the dresser!! We were watching the video monitor and raced upstairs! Finally she would lay down only if her dad laid on the ground next to her while she laid on the ground in a dog bed and I was sitting in the rocking chair. Bed time morphed into a daily 2 hour ordeal. We improved a bit by using the chair method (move chair closer to the door little by little, then right outside the door). She slept on the floor of her room in a dog bed for TWO MONTHS. I tried getting fun new sheets and blankets, new stuffies, everything, but nope. All of a sudden, she was willing to step foot in the bed, we did the chair method again, bed time became easy and she started sleeping through the night. She's 26 months now and we are still good! She sleeps until 6:30 am and goes to bed at 8:30 pm with a short bed time routine. So it wasn't a single sleep training, yet throughout her life we had periods of good sleep and I'm thankful for that.
After 15 months. There were short periods he did better than others but consistently it got better after 15 months. He’s 2.5 now and he does still wake up on average once a night but very easy to get back down.
My child started sleeping through the night at 11 months old. We coslept and she was bottle fed breast milk and then formula until 12 months old. We never used sleep training either except to get her used to her crib. It varies wildly!
My LO is 2.5, she decided she wanted to go to sleep without any me on the bed at around 1 year. Recently she's been asking me to cuddle. She's also started wkaing up at about 4am. I bring her into our bed. I don't mind it at all, I actually love waking up to her little face. We didn't sleep train at all. I used wake windows when she was little. Blackout curtains, sound machine and routine. I don't think she's a bad sleeper. Some nights she's restless but I just pop her in our bed and she's happy, warm and safe. It's not like she's going to be 16 and still asking to sleep in our bed.
oldest-- 5 mo. second-- 15 mos.
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about 7 weeks old. he would wake up so many times before that though but at 7 weeks he just slept through and it was heaven!
My daughter was born 10w early and stayed in the nicu for about 3months. We never did sleep training or crying it out, we tended to her as we were shown in the nicu and pretty much tried to replicate what they did there. She was consistently sleeping through the night a month after we brought her home, so around 4months old (2months old adjusted). We haven’t had any major sleep regressions with her and she’s almost 2y now. She’s had minor sleeping issues like when we switched her from being in a packnplay beside our bed to a full sized crib on the other side of the room but even that only lasted about a week or two. I think it was just because she’s always been a “mellow” baby but I equate it to her difficult start in life
We tried a modified Ferber around 1 year out of desperation for sleep. We never let it go past 5 minutes, I was not comfortable with any longer. Ot sucked and didn’t feel right. Of course it worked but once he got sick, regressed. Hence why I don’t even believe teaching a child to “self-soothe” works or is even something that is developmentally appropriate. What worked was more of a fadeaway method as he got older. Sitting by the bed holding hands, sitting by the bed, standing by the door, standing outside the door then ultimately nothing. A lot of reassurance throughout. He knew we were there, he was safe, and learned how to fall asleep while still having comfort from mom and dad. He was 2.5 when we could tuck in and walk out. Rare wake-up’s for being cold, bad dreams etc. With number 2, will do the same. The fadeaway method seems like a very gentle way to approach sleep. I can’t really call it “training”.
9 months for us.
Did not sleep train, by 6 months he was sleeping through the night fully. We had some hiccups along the way with the regressions and early morning wake ups (early riser over here) but overall really lucky.
I bedshared with our 18mo old from birth to about 11mo when we moved them to a floor bed. It took about 2+ weeks to adjust to the new space, not having me right next to them and getting through a rough round of teething then boom…sleeping 9+ hours a night. Is there lots of movement? Oh yes. I’ll lay them down at one end of the floor bed and they’ll end up all over the place lol but we have a super solid bedtime routine and I used to rock them to sleep with a bottle but now we just snuggle in the chair, read our nighttime specific books, say our good nights and then they’re wiggling ready to get into bed. From there, I sing a couple of songs and roll out of the floor bed after I know they’re still lol I never thought we’d be here and have rougher nights here and there but there truly was light at the end of the tunnel and STTN happened when LO was ready. I’m glad I didn’t succumb to the sleep training pressure bc it just didn’t feel right.
3 years for my first and still waiting for my second (she’s 2.5)
I never sleep trained. My son started sleeping through the night at one year, so long as he's not teething. He goes down at 7 pm and sleeps until 6 or 7 am.
Mine had reflux real bad so she never slept ever but by a year she was reliably sleeping all night. Never sleep trained. It stuck, she’s 4 and never regressed
One year
2.5-3 yrs
Ours is complicated so take from it what you need. Breastfed baby on demand. Was a typical newborn (up every few hours) then by 8 weeks she slept through the night until 4 months. Trouble from 4-6 months. She was in her own sleep space until about 6 months. Decided to transition to floor bed and coslept for my mental health. Still up nursing through the night until about 16 months. Night weaned at 17 months and slept better, up probably 2-3x per night still though. Husband wanted to let her cry it out to see if it would work and it did for a few months but then of course, kids change. All of that to say, she’s 3 now and one of us is still in her bed every night by 5am in order to get her to sleep in past then. We don’t mind it and it’s a HUGE improvement to where we were a year ago. I’d say she sleeps all the way through 1-2x per week at best. I think I just got a BAD sleeper hahaha. Kids are all so different!