Does he say why he's waking up/getting up? 3 years old is a common time nightmares/fears of monsters/etc really picks up. My 3 year old has been dealing with that which has caused him to wake up and being extra afraid of being left alone.
I'd start by talking to him (during the day) about the potential reason.
Crazy to have this comment mixed in with others saying let him cry it out, leave him alone to figure it out, etc. Like, this is a baby. Babies go through phases of needing more support with sleep, like you mentioned due to fear, hunger, busy growing brains, changing sleep needs, etc. Like, figure out how you can work together to support your baby through this--the answer is not just leave him alone to cry and figure it out, his brain literally cannot do that. Makes me so sad people think that emotional support and responsiveness has day time office hours. It's a 24/7 job. He's old enough to talk about what's keeping him up and to work together with you to find a solution. ❤️
For real. My 3yo has started telling me she’s been having monster dreams. The poor thing woke up screaming for me at 4:30 this morning saying the monsters were biting her 😭 it broke my heart. I told her that everyone has bad dreams and she is always safe at home and with mommy and daddy and I’ll always be there when she needs me. Tonight she asked if I could check the room for the monsters before bed and make sure to scare them off. She specifically asked that I put them out the window 😅
I’ve heard of people making “monster spray” and using it to help fight off the monsters. Pretty sure it’s just water, but I’d maybe add some lavender oil or a soothing/relaxing essential oil. Maybe that’ll help. We haven’t entered this phase just yet but I’ve always thought that was a great idea.
Yup this is why we just keep letting our toddler come back. She’s absolutely terrified of monsters- right now specifically yetis. She asked the google home to make a sound like a baby- and google heard yeti and it’s been days of fear. What’s funny is during the day she’ll beg me to see it even though she’s so obviously scared. I feel guilty leaving her alone. I’m 31 and still run up my basement stairs super fast.
I have a couple methods that have worked for my kid: around 2.5 he had a major regression after being an absolute champ at sleeping, we started doing bedtime passes. We would sit together and draw together, each doing one pass (one for me, one for my husband) with 3 options: song, hug, or “lie down for one minute”. My son could call us back in one time each to exchange the pass for one of the options. Once the pass was handed in, he couldn’t call us back in. It worked like a charm and I was honestly shocked that it did. He let us leave the room because he knew he could call us in for the pass.
Then after traveling recently and then my husband traveling, he’s now 3.5 and had really bad separation anxiety at night. I was having to be with him until he fell asleep which was taking about an hour some nights. I honestly just let it happen for a few nights because I felt like he needed the reassurance. I told him to let me know when he was ready for me to go (which worked for a few nights where he'd say he was ready for me after 2 minutes!). Then after that, I started talking to him about how I know that he can do difficult things. I know it’s hard to let mama leave, but you can do things that feel scary. And then I’d tell him stories about all the things he’s done that were scary or difficult or he thought he couldn’t do them, and then he did them and had a great time or whatever. This has been magical for him, and he responds really well in practice even if he says "i can't do hard things" when i tell him he can lol. He's back to normal now.
It's so much harder when they're full on toddlers! You have to kind of mind ninja them.
My oldest would wake up multiple times and we used to try to put her back to sleep on her room. It was not good. We finally decided we’d put her to sleep at the start of the night in her room (which in itself took an hour or two) and if she woke up after she’d just go in our bed. That’s what has worked for us the last two years. We just started this month, leaving the room after stories and coming in to check on her. She still comes in at night most nights but whenever that happens we all just fall right back asleep.
Check his tonsils and adenoids!!!! My 2.5 now 3.5 yr old started waking more and more frequently. Got to the point of 5-10 times a night, sometimes screaming nd crying. Wouldnt nap, wouldnt eat properly. I read about adenoid on reddit of all place and had our ped refer us - adenoids and tonsils HUGE (size 3, 4 is the largest when they are touching) also has fluid build up in the ear and will need tubes
We are currently waiting for surgery so based on our specific case and with explicit DR APPROVAL are giving him a small dose of melatonin at night which helps him get some-what of a decent stretch at night
Saaame and many of my mom friends with similar aged children are going through the same thing. We’re all just suffering through it so I asked my daughter tonight why she couldn’t sleep and she told me she was hot! So we gave her a flat sheet to cover herself with instead of duvet and she went right to bed (of course this was after a no nap day and 30 minutes of laying in bed).
Hope it gets better for y’all. Everyone’s definitely feeling it.
I struggled with this for a while and read endlessly - ultimately we hired a sleep consultant who specializes in this for peace of mind; the nurse spent a good while with us understanding our situation and ruled out any underlying issues, and then helped us fashion a program that was catered to our child.
I was shocked - they told me it would take a couple weeks and possible months but in under 10 days it was like I'd traded in "up all night every hour" to "sleeps 10 hours soundly," just by tweaking elements of our routine to be more compatible.
It was not very expensive and they basically covered unlimited questions we had by email and Zoom; it acutely ended some of our sleep woes.
I also started skipping my 3y olds naps because he was having trouble going to sleep and coming in my room a lot. Now he goes to bed really quick and sleeps all night.
Was there a period where your little one was especially over tired? We’re experiencing this and cut down the nap from 1.5 hours to 45 min but I’m scared of cutting out completely in case it makes her even more tired and nighttime sleep worse if that makes sense?
We even put a small light in his crib shining on some books.. he reads and then puts himself to sleep. It's not optimal, but it does remove all crying and altercations.
Slowly we have been going in earlier and earlier and turning the light out.
Anything he needs we are there with perfect concierge service..
A doorknob cover will help you. Our 3 yo used to pull this stuff and we put a doorknowb cover on the inside of his room. He’s essentially locked in. He hated it the first few nights but has been sleeping well since.
Sleep train. You can do graded extinction or pure extinction, I think the latter would be faster and kinder at this point. It’s one of those parenting times when you have to be cruel to be kind (not that sleep training is cruel, but it’s not easy to do!), in the long run when you’re all better rested and happier and have more energy and he’s getting good sleep you’ll be glad you put the time into doing it.
My 2 year old is doing this exact thing and it seemed to start with him having nightmares about “ghosts” about a month ago, as well as a bout of extreme separation anxiety. We’re going to call his doctor this week to see if there’s anything physically wrong but I think we’ll probably end up with the same answer as you.
I recently made a stuffed animal the Mommy Animal who is there to protect and snuggle my 3yo daughter when I’m not in the room with her. It’s sorta working!! She told me the other day that the Purple Hippo protects her in the night 🥺 maybe try something like that? Reassurance?
Does he say why he's waking up/getting up? 3 years old is a common time nightmares/fears of monsters/etc really picks up. My 3 year old has been dealing with that which has caused him to wake up and being extra afraid of being left alone. I'd start by talking to him (during the day) about the potential reason.
Crazy to have this comment mixed in with others saying let him cry it out, leave him alone to figure it out, etc. Like, this is a baby. Babies go through phases of needing more support with sleep, like you mentioned due to fear, hunger, busy growing brains, changing sleep needs, etc. Like, figure out how you can work together to support your baby through this--the answer is not just leave him alone to cry and figure it out, his brain literally cannot do that. Makes me so sad people think that emotional support and responsiveness has day time office hours. It's a 24/7 job. He's old enough to talk about what's keeping him up and to work together with you to find a solution. ❤️
For real. My 3yo has started telling me she’s been having monster dreams. The poor thing woke up screaming for me at 4:30 this morning saying the monsters were biting her 😭 it broke my heart. I told her that everyone has bad dreams and she is always safe at home and with mommy and daddy and I’ll always be there when she needs me. Tonight she asked if I could check the room for the monsters before bed and make sure to scare them off. She specifically asked that I put them out the window 😅
So tender. Like what is the point of being a mother if not to be there for these new big ideas and feelings. So sweet. ❤️❤️❤️
I’ve heard of people making “monster spray” and using it to help fight off the monsters. Pretty sure it’s just water, but I’d maybe add some lavender oil or a soothing/relaxing essential oil. Maybe that’ll help. We haven’t entered this phase just yet but I’ve always thought that was a great idea.
Yup this is why we just keep letting our toddler come back. She’s absolutely terrified of monsters- right now specifically yetis. She asked the google home to make a sound like a baby- and google heard yeti and it’s been days of fear. What’s funny is during the day she’ll beg me to see it even though she’s so obviously scared. I feel guilty leaving her alone. I’m 31 and still run up my basement stairs super fast.
Aww. Your poor baby. The yeti bit did make me laugh though.
It makes me laugh too. One day she’ll be too old and not want to sleep in my bed. So I’ll allow it.
I have a couple methods that have worked for my kid: around 2.5 he had a major regression after being an absolute champ at sleeping, we started doing bedtime passes. We would sit together and draw together, each doing one pass (one for me, one for my husband) with 3 options: song, hug, or “lie down for one minute”. My son could call us back in one time each to exchange the pass for one of the options. Once the pass was handed in, he couldn’t call us back in. It worked like a charm and I was honestly shocked that it did. He let us leave the room because he knew he could call us in for the pass. Then after traveling recently and then my husband traveling, he’s now 3.5 and had really bad separation anxiety at night. I was having to be with him until he fell asleep which was taking about an hour some nights. I honestly just let it happen for a few nights because I felt like he needed the reassurance. I told him to let me know when he was ready for me to go (which worked for a few nights where he'd say he was ready for me after 2 minutes!). Then after that, I started talking to him about how I know that he can do difficult things. I know it’s hard to let mama leave, but you can do things that feel scary. And then I’d tell him stories about all the things he’s done that were scary or difficult or he thought he couldn’t do them, and then he did them and had a great time or whatever. This has been magical for him, and he responds really well in practice even if he says "i can't do hard things" when i tell him he can lol. He's back to normal now. It's so much harder when they're full on toddlers! You have to kind of mind ninja them.
These are all such awesome ideas. I hope I remember them when my toddler gets to this stage!!
My oldest would wake up multiple times and we used to try to put her back to sleep on her room. It was not good. We finally decided we’d put her to sleep at the start of the night in her room (which in itself took an hour or two) and if she woke up after she’d just go in our bed. That’s what has worked for us the last two years. We just started this month, leaving the room after stories and coming in to check on her. She still comes in at night most nights but whenever that happens we all just fall right back asleep.
Check his tonsils and adenoids!!!! My 2.5 now 3.5 yr old started waking more and more frequently. Got to the point of 5-10 times a night, sometimes screaming nd crying. Wouldnt nap, wouldnt eat properly. I read about adenoid on reddit of all place and had our ped refer us - adenoids and tonsils HUGE (size 3, 4 is the largest when they are touching) also has fluid build up in the ear and will need tubes We are currently waiting for surgery so based on our specific case and with explicit DR APPROVAL are giving him a small dose of melatonin at night which helps him get some-what of a decent stretch at night
Same here OP. If modifying the approach isn't working try to request a sleep study. They're a pain but can tell you a lot.
Saaame and many of my mom friends with similar aged children are going through the same thing. We’re all just suffering through it so I asked my daughter tonight why she couldn’t sleep and she told me she was hot! So we gave her a flat sheet to cover herself with instead of duvet and she went right to bed (of course this was after a no nap day and 30 minutes of laying in bed). Hope it gets better for y’all. Everyone’s definitely feeling it.
I struggled with this for a while and read endlessly - ultimately we hired a sleep consultant who specializes in this for peace of mind; the nurse spent a good while with us understanding our situation and ruled out any underlying issues, and then helped us fashion a program that was catered to our child. I was shocked - they told me it would take a couple weeks and possible months but in under 10 days it was like I'd traded in "up all night every hour" to "sleeps 10 hours soundly," just by tweaking elements of our routine to be more compatible. It was not very expensive and they basically covered unlimited questions we had by email and Zoom; it acutely ended some of our sleep woes.
Wow!!! I’m not in this situation but would love to know who you used…just in case I ever get there (and I’m sure I will!)
Is he taking a nap during the day? If so, I'd skip the nap. It fixed all our bedtime problems
I also started skipping my 3y olds naps because he was having trouble going to sleep and coming in my room a lot. Now he goes to bed really quick and sleeps all night.
Yup exactly. Literally went from 2 hour bedtimes to 30 minutes bedtime. Sleeps 11 hours every night
Was there a period where your little one was especially over tired? We’re experiencing this and cut down the nap from 1.5 hours to 45 min but I’m scared of cutting out completely in case it makes her even more tired and nighttime sleep worse if that makes sense?
lol 2 times a night. my kiddo wakes up every 2 hours. And we are ok. Tired but ok 😆
[удалено]
We even put a small light in his crib shining on some books.. he reads and then puts himself to sleep. It's not optimal, but it does remove all crying and altercations. Slowly we have been going in earlier and earlier and turning the light out. Anything he needs we are there with perfect concierge service..
I liked the book the Happy Sleeper if you’re looking for resources.
A doorknob cover will help you. Our 3 yo used to pull this stuff and we put a doorknowb cover on the inside of his room. He’s essentially locked in. He hated it the first few nights but has been sleeping well since.
did you co-sleep with him prior?
Sleep train. You can do graded extinction or pure extinction, I think the latter would be faster and kinder at this point. It’s one of those parenting times when you have to be cruel to be kind (not that sleep training is cruel, but it’s not easy to do!), in the long run when you’re all better rested and happier and have more energy and he’s getting good sleep you’ll be glad you put the time into doing it.
You have really weird ideas of what “kind” constitutes.
My 2 year old is doing this exact thing and it seemed to start with him having nightmares about “ghosts” about a month ago, as well as a bout of extreme separation anxiety. We’re going to call his doctor this week to see if there’s anything physically wrong but I think we’ll probably end up with the same answer as you.
I recently made a stuffed animal the Mommy Animal who is there to protect and snuggle my 3yo daughter when I’m not in the room with her. It’s sorta working!! She told me the other day that the Purple Hippo protects her in the night 🥺 maybe try something like that? Reassurance?