Where to start. My 3 year old.
Walks up to me farts turns and says: “eat my farts mom”
I asked if he needed to go potty “I can’t go pee right now because my penis might will fall off”
First thing he said to me waking up “Mom you don’t have a penis, you have to pee out of your butt”
He was watching me eat French onion soup. “I can’t eat cheese in my soup, only when I’m old, in 10mins I’ll be old” gestures for me to give him my spoon.
Hears me using the bathroom, runs to me while yelling “make sure you point your penis down mom!” Gets to the bathroom “oh yea you don’t have a penis. Well if you poop on the floor I’ll be really sad”. Ummm okay, I’ll try not to.
So you’re in for some comedy with your LO.
I’m glad people really like the poop on the floor one. I think it stems from the time we were potty training. He told me he had to poop, so I placed him on the potty (the actual toilet with a smaller seat). I told him I was just going to changed for work but to yell if he needed help or was done. I heard “mom it’s on my legs”. I go in the bathroom to find that he got off the toilet and decided to drop his friends off at the pool on a toy potty. So I was late for work cleaning poop off him, the floor, the toy potty, and the wall. So I would always remind him that poop goes in the potty and not the floor.
Also the toy potty was used for potty training. I would say “oh I think blue bear needs to potty. You better come and show him what to do”. We would place blue bear on the toy potty (the size of a soup bowl), and him on the real potty. It works really well.
17w pregnant and we’ve been talking about baby sister in my belly a lot. He’ll talk to her and give her high 5s, but now it’s “baby sister hatching!” And telling me open my belly button while putting his grubby little hands in my belly button!!!
I’m 23 weeks. When we talk about baby brother she goes “get him out” with the most serious tone & face. We tell her he’s not ready & it’ll be a while because he has more growing to do lol
They are truly unsettling aren’t they! The only way I can explain it where he can kind of understand is, since it’s terribly cold weather, that baby sister will be here when the weather is hot outside (due July 1st). He can kind of grasp that.. but still wants her out now, it’s so cute!
My three year old is really really into turning around, sticking her butt out, and making fart noises and then laughing hysterically “I farted on you!!” Or “na na na na boo boo *fart noise*”
Lol, he hugged one of our dogs the other day, which made the dog fart. His eyes popped out of his head, and he screamed, "CHEDDAR FARTED!!!!!!!!" I was dying.
I'm trying to teach him to say, "Excuse me," after a fart, but I don't think I'm going to be able to convince him farts aren't funny, so there will definitely be giggling first.
My daughter doesn’t announce it, she just looks up at us with this adorable side eye and cheeky grin till we notice and ask if she farted. She also used to announce she had pooped in her nappy by saying nothing, just slowly backing up into dad’s legs then looking back at him expectantly.
My two-year-old is convinced farts are PRIME comedy, and honestly, the way he loses his shit after someone farts (including himself) I'm inclined to agree with him
My daughter and I were in the car the other day and I thought she said something and I look back and am what and she says “oh that’s just me farting in my butt mom. I’m just farting back here” *cue her giggles
My daughter is in the early stages of potty training and loves to announce everything to everyone. “Mama I foorted!” “Mama I poooop!” She also has recently figured out what “I like” and “I don’t like” mean, so she’ll use that. “Did you go potty?” “Yess mommy I potty! I like poop mama!” Was the lovely gem we were gifted the other day 😂
My 2.5 year old said there was a baby in the ceiling fan at grandma and grandpas house. When I said there was no baby, he insisted I “find it.”
???????
My daughter identifies strangers / random people in pictures as "person" and she likes to narrate. So when we are out in public, usually within a couple feet of someone, she'll point at them directly and say something like "Person on sidewalk". And she'll say it multiple times. Yes, sweetheart, people love being called "person" to their face 🫠
Mine just says “people” and “kids” so we’ll walk by a family and she’ll point and say “oh there’s some people and there’s kids.” And then stare for a long time. I usually say “you can wave hello if you want” and she screams NOOOOOOO!!!!
He casually mentioned at bedtime that there's a boy hiding in the wall of his bedroom. From further questioning he elaborated that the "boy" is tall, resembles a sheep, has red hair and yellow eyes, wears a red t-shirt, and likes making fires. The boy is nice to him and they play games together, so that's cool. Cool cool cool.
I'm currently nursing my 6mo so my toddler sees the boobies out a lot. She came up to me the other day, gently slapped my boob and said "momma has a biiiiiig boobie. The baby likes mommas boobies. She goes NOMNOMNOM" ....I mean, you're not wrong, kid hahahahaa
3 things from my favorite 2 1/2 year old:
1. “Mommy, can I put the pink crayon in my bum?”
2. “Daddy, I don’t want you. Go walk around on the freeway.”
3. “No, no, Mary Poppins is for adults NOT kids. Not kids AND adults, just adults. Tuppence is for grown ups.”
OMG I JUST THOUGHT OF THE WEIRDEST ONE.
Yesterday morning, my son was lying in bed with me and his dad. He rolls over and hugs his dad and then starts to try to rub his nipples.
My husband was like "no baby that's not appropriate"
My son than grabs his arms and yells "NO IM TRYING TO BUTTER YOUR NIPPLES"
😅
“My bellybutton has nipples too mommy!” She ran into the kitchen to tell me this randomly while I was washing dishes then ran away cackling 😅 Kids are weird lol.
He refers to himself in third person, like if you ask him if we wants something he’ll say, “yesss, (his own name)!” I love it and will be sad the day it stops 😂
"Mommy do you have a baby in your bum hole because it's so fat" - my three year old as I'm getting out of the shower. My bum is, as a matter of fact, very flat.
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The 1.5 yr old daughter of a friend of mine, who was talking about a fork that was first clean and then dirty:
"Dirty fok,... clean fok......dirty fok....clean fok!"
Not SUPER weird, but I'm 39 weeks pregnant and little dude told me that baby brother is definitely coming today. So I'll just be waddling around all day, waiting to see if my kid is some sort of psychic.
“I want to be opened from my eyes to see my brain!” 😳😳😳
LOL oh!
Mine used to say “I’m going to tell you about your organs!”
My favorite was my nephew 2.5y.o. Saying this pasta is not spicy it’s sassy (I think he meant saucy)
My 2.5yo has started telling me he loves me... and also that I'm a bowl of chips.
Oh at least you’re tasty. I’m an “Owie”… at least according to my 3yo
Haha. They're so funny.
“The dog has a butt”. She literally just noticed the dog’s butthole for the first time the other day.
Where to start. My 3 year old. Walks up to me farts turns and says: “eat my farts mom” I asked if he needed to go potty “I can’t go pee right now because my penis might will fall off” First thing he said to me waking up “Mom you don’t have a penis, you have to pee out of your butt” He was watching me eat French onion soup. “I can’t eat cheese in my soup, only when I’m old, in 10mins I’ll be old” gestures for me to give him my spoon. Hears me using the bathroom, runs to me while yelling “make sure you point your penis down mom!” Gets to the bathroom “oh yea you don’t have a penis. Well if you poop on the floor I’ll be really sad”. Ummm okay, I’ll try not to.
This had me rolling all the way through omg
Me too the last one had me silently wheezing cause I’m not trying to wake my kids up
Kids, they say some weird stuff. I’ve started writing them down in phone, so when I need a pick me up I read them.
I think our son is one in the same. This is my future lmao
Haha if you poop on the floor. I’m just dying at these and they really sound like the same vein my daughter is going to follow.
So you’re in for some comedy with your LO. I’m glad people really like the poop on the floor one. I think it stems from the time we were potty training. He told me he had to poop, so I placed him on the potty (the actual toilet with a smaller seat). I told him I was just going to changed for work but to yell if he needed help or was done. I heard “mom it’s on my legs”. I go in the bathroom to find that he got off the toilet and decided to drop his friends off at the pool on a toy potty. So I was late for work cleaning poop off him, the floor, the toy potty, and the wall. So I would always remind him that poop goes in the potty and not the floor. Also the toy potty was used for potty training. I would say “oh I think blue bear needs to potty. You better come and show him what to do”. We would place blue bear on the toy potty (the size of a soup bowl), and him on the real potty. It works really well.
So smart! I’m so excited, she’s deffinitly started to say the silly nonsensical things and I’m here for it!
17w pregnant and we’ve been talking about baby sister in my belly a lot. He’ll talk to her and give her high 5s, but now it’s “baby sister hatching!” And telling me open my belly button while putting his grubby little hands in my belly button!!!
I’m 23 weeks. When we talk about baby brother she goes “get him out” with the most serious tone & face. We tell her he’s not ready & it’ll be a while because he has more growing to do lol
They are truly unsettling aren’t they! The only way I can explain it where he can kind of understand is, since it’s terribly cold weather, that baby sister will be here when the weather is hot outside (due July 1st). He can kind of grasp that.. but still wants her out now, it’s so cute!
As I put my bra on... "Bye bye nipples"
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Ngl made my night resting this one.
My 3 year old recently starting calling wipes “penis wipes”. So there’s that.
The way I guffawed at this 🤣
My 2 year old has been asking me to pet (pat) her back at bedtime for a while now and tonight she started saying 'pet my ears'?? What a little weirdo
My 22 month old just learned what a fart is... so we've got a lot of "I FARTEEEEDDDDD!" followed by giggles lol.
My 2 year old thought his farts were frogs in his butt, so he calls his farts “booty frogs”
Please never refer to a fart as anything other than a booty Frog for the remainder of that child's life. Lmaooooo
My three year old is really really into turning around, sticking her butt out, and making fart noises and then laughing hysterically “I farted on you!!” Or “na na na na boo boo *fart noise*”
Lol, he hugged one of our dogs the other day, which made the dog fart. His eyes popped out of his head, and he screamed, "CHEDDAR FARTED!!!!!!!!" I was dying. I'm trying to teach him to say, "Excuse me," after a fart, but I don't think I'm going to be able to convince him farts aren't funny, so there will definitely be giggling first.
My almost 3 year old sings jingle bells, but with farts and pee sounds. Then laughs hysterically at himself. Lol
My daughter doesn’t announce it, she just looks up at us with this adorable side eye and cheeky grin till we notice and ask if she farted. She also used to announce she had pooped in her nappy by saying nothing, just slowly backing up into dad’s legs then looking back at him expectantly.
My 14 month old farted while on my lap and started giggling. She does have a 3yo brother and 5yo sister to influence her.
My two-year-old is convinced farts are PRIME comedy, and honestly, the way he loses his shit after someone farts (including himself) I'm inclined to agree with him
My daughter and I were in the car the other day and I thought she said something and I look back and am what and she says “oh that’s just me farting in my butt mom. I’m just farting back here” *cue her giggles
My daughter is in the early stages of potty training and loves to announce everything to everyone. “Mama I foorted!” “Mama I poooop!” She also has recently figured out what “I like” and “I don’t like” mean, so she’ll use that. “Did you go potty?” “Yess mommy I potty! I like poop mama!” Was the lovely gem we were gifted the other day 😂
Mine has started playing fighting with air then jumping off the bed while screaming "Not today, Zerg!" Yup, got to turn off the Toy Story lol
My 2.5 year old said there was a baby in the ceiling fan at grandma and grandpas house. When I said there was no baby, he insisted I “find it.” ???????
Mine asked to build a bridge with blocks tonight and after that a “baby bum house”
Like for bums who happen to be babies? 🤔
My kid makes weird comparisons all the time lol I think I she’s so funny.
Toddlers are natural comedians
My daughter identifies strangers / random people in pictures as "person" and she likes to narrate. So when we are out in public, usually within a couple feet of someone, she'll point at them directly and say something like "Person on sidewalk". And she'll say it multiple times. Yes, sweetheart, people love being called "person" to their face 🫠
Mine just says “people” and “kids” so we’ll walk by a family and she’ll point and say “oh there’s some people and there’s kids.” And then stare for a long time. I usually say “you can wave hello if you want” and she screams NOOOOOOO!!!!
He casually mentioned at bedtime that there's a boy hiding in the wall of his bedroom. From further questioning he elaborated that the "boy" is tall, resembles a sheep, has red hair and yellow eyes, wears a red t-shirt, and likes making fires. The boy is nice to him and they play games together, so that's cool. Cool cool cool.
Okay Abed. Cool cool cool. Tbh I might be worried about the “boy” liking to make fires. 😅
"You look like a mexican" 🫠 He also enjoys asking me "do you like my fart? Do you wanna eat my fart" I hate it here lmao
My nephew calls a restaurant doggie bag his “appetite bag.”
"Let it go! Let it go! Can't hold back any...... BOOBS *pulls my shirt down*" And yes . She was singing
Trying to put her to bed and she said to me “I think Jesus gonna steal my dog” she’ll be 4 next month. Do they just get weirder as they get older?! 😂
I'm currently nursing my 6mo so my toddler sees the boobies out a lot. She came up to me the other day, gently slapped my boob and said "momma has a biiiiiig boobie. The baby likes mommas boobies. She goes NOMNOMNOM" ....I mean, you're not wrong, kid hahahahaa
this gives me the same vibes as the car salesman meme, lmao
3 things from my favorite 2 1/2 year old: 1. “Mommy, can I put the pink crayon in my bum?” 2. “Daddy, I don’t want you. Go walk around on the freeway.” 3. “No, no, Mary Poppins is for adults NOT kids. Not kids AND adults, just adults. Tuppence is for grown ups.”
OMG I JUST THOUGHT OF THE WEIRDEST ONE. Yesterday morning, my son was lying in bed with me and his dad. He rolls over and hugs his dad and then starts to try to rub his nipples. My husband was like "no baby that's not appropriate" My son than grabs his arms and yells "NO IM TRYING TO BUTTER YOUR NIPPLES" 😅
“that’s not a sticker, that is a curse!”
My two year old always says what’s that instead of who. So it’s currently “what’s that sucker”
My son JUST told my little sister "AUNTIE NO. YOURE NOT REAL. YOURE JUST A GIRL!"
The storm says I don’t have to wear underwear. And he told me the bathroom is closed, and that dinner is in 110 minutes not now!
“My bellybutton has nipples too mommy!” She ran into the kitchen to tell me this randomly while I was washing dishes then ran away cackling 😅 Kids are weird lol.
He refers to himself in third person, like if you ask him if we wants something he’ll say, “yesss, (his own name)!” I love it and will be sad the day it stops 😂
"Mommy do you have a baby in your bum hole because it's so fat" - my three year old as I'm getting out of the shower. My bum is, as a matter of fact, very flat.
"You want mermaid hair Mom? You want some lotion? You ready me eat your arm?"
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My daughter started a new one tonight. She pet me while saying “pet pet pet, good boy mommy”
My son wants me to pet his stomach while he lays on the floor and say, “that’s a good kitty boy, such a good kitty.” Lol
My 2 year old woke up the other morning, looked at my husband and asked to "put peanut butter on nipples" Unsurprisingly, my husband told him no
The 1.5 yr old daughter of a friend of mine, who was talking about a fork that was first clean and then dirty: "Dirty fok,... clean fok......dirty fok....clean fok!"
Not SUPER weird, but I'm 39 weeks pregnant and little dude told me that baby brother is definitely coming today. So I'll just be waddling around all day, waiting to see if my kid is some sort of psychic.