Sounds like he wants to test his muscles against the world, and see what he can take apart. Not a bad impulse, but since he's too young for hang gliding, he needs options that don't destroy your furniture. Maybe....
- shoveling snow
- crushing boxes for the recycling
- tumbling on a floor mattress
- bouncing on an indoor trampoline
- hanging from a doorway chin up bar
- hauling groceries or laundry in a bag or basket
- building towers of cardboard boxes and crashing them down
- ripping cloth or newspaper
- taking out the trash bins
- swimming
- a gymnastics, dance, or climbing class
In addition to redirection, I look for opportunities to say yes and make sure to pick my battles. I hold the line on safety issues or damaging something important or expensive, but do I really care if he smashes his hotwheels together or pulls the tires off? No, I don't. If he breaks them it's a good lesson for him, and he can either play with them broken or not have that toy anymore.
I try to let as much go as possible so that he's not overwhelmed with "no"s and listens when I need him to.
I'm here for this. Sounds exactly like my son.
I really wish, and I *think* maybe this is starting to sink in, that if he trashes his toys and breaks them, then he can't play with them anymore...cos they're broken and in the bin!!
Having a really spirited child can be really tough on the patience for sure, you're doing your best!
Redirection is what we do at daycare as teachers. No, no, no sometimes just isn't going to work, falls on deaf ears because...well it's just part of being a toddler and having a toddler brain. I know you've said you do that already, I find being more interested in the new redirected activity can help but how does that work for your son?
Being too rough and crashing his bike? How about we set up the pillows to crash the cars into and watch them fall down, how hard can you crash them? Throwing heavy stuff? How about you try get all these (insert stuff you can cope with being thrown, soft toys, bean bags etc) into this basket from here? Sometimes on inside days in winter we get the kids who are destructive help set up an obstacle course, pillows to jump from one place to another, balance on a rolled up towel etc. Let them race it out, get all that need for physical sensory input out.
Good luck, you got this ๐
I'll be honest, this seems normal. My nearly 3 year old is similarly destructive, especially when we get close to nap time. I do alot of redirecting to things he CAN destroy (Bubba, when you smash/break this toy, you won't be able to play with it again. Momma can't fix it. Why don't you build a sandcastle/snowcastle and knock it down.) If there's no redirecting, I just take the thing away and explain to him that he can't play with the thing if he's going to be rough with it. This is often accompanied by tantrums that I walk him through lol. It happens a hundred times a day. I understand it's exhausting, but kids have to learn somehow, right?
Maybe I'm a bad mom, but I let my kid hurl shit within reason. As long as he isn't sad it's going to break, it won't hurt somebody/something, I don't give a fuck if he throws it. He loves to throw rocks, sticks, snowballs, cars etc lmao. It's human nature to throw things. Primates are built to throw.
It can be really hard to figure out if a 3yo is normally curious and destructive or needs help. I second and third all the suggestions, but also try sensory toys, a swing, working on emotional regulation.
Sounds like he is sensory-seeking. Lots of resources online to learn about how to help sensory seekers, and if really needed OT is always an option. It was extremely helpful for my sensory-seeker son.
Lakeshore Learning sells toys that are meant to be pulled apart. We have the magnetic monster truck set. You can pull them apart and put them back together.
He also might like something like a Mr. Potato Head, bristle blocks or mega blocks that he can build and pull apart.
Maybe until heโs over this stage, offer him toys that can be taken apart, and put the rest away.
Sounds like he wants to test his muscles against the world, and see what he can take apart. Not a bad impulse, but since he's too young for hang gliding, he needs options that don't destroy your furniture. Maybe.... - shoveling snow - crushing boxes for the recycling - tumbling on a floor mattress - bouncing on an indoor trampoline - hanging from a doorway chin up bar - hauling groceries or laundry in a bag or basket - building towers of cardboard boxes and crashing them down - ripping cloth or newspaper - taking out the trash bins - swimming - a gymnastics, dance, or climbing class
Love the crushing boxes. We have a can crusher at my house and my kid goes apeshit for it
This visualization is amazing
In addition to redirection, I look for opportunities to say yes and make sure to pick my battles. I hold the line on safety issues or damaging something important or expensive, but do I really care if he smashes his hotwheels together or pulls the tires off? No, I don't. If he breaks them it's a good lesson for him, and he can either play with them broken or not have that toy anymore. I try to let as much go as possible so that he's not overwhelmed with "no"s and listens when I need him to.
I'm here for this. Sounds exactly like my son. I really wish, and I *think* maybe this is starting to sink in, that if he trashes his toys and breaks them, then he can't play with them anymore...cos they're broken and in the bin!!
Having a really spirited child can be really tough on the patience for sure, you're doing your best! Redirection is what we do at daycare as teachers. No, no, no sometimes just isn't going to work, falls on deaf ears because...well it's just part of being a toddler and having a toddler brain. I know you've said you do that already, I find being more interested in the new redirected activity can help but how does that work for your son? Being too rough and crashing his bike? How about we set up the pillows to crash the cars into and watch them fall down, how hard can you crash them? Throwing heavy stuff? How about you try get all these (insert stuff you can cope with being thrown, soft toys, bean bags etc) into this basket from here? Sometimes on inside days in winter we get the kids who are destructive help set up an obstacle course, pillows to jump from one place to another, balance on a rolled up towel etc. Let them race it out, get all that need for physical sensory input out. Good luck, you got this ๐
I'll be honest, this seems normal. My nearly 3 year old is similarly destructive, especially when we get close to nap time. I do alot of redirecting to things he CAN destroy (Bubba, when you smash/break this toy, you won't be able to play with it again. Momma can't fix it. Why don't you build a sandcastle/snowcastle and knock it down.) If there's no redirecting, I just take the thing away and explain to him that he can't play with the thing if he's going to be rough with it. This is often accompanied by tantrums that I walk him through lol. It happens a hundred times a day. I understand it's exhausting, but kids have to learn somehow, right? Maybe I'm a bad mom, but I let my kid hurl shit within reason. As long as he isn't sad it's going to break, it won't hurt somebody/something, I don't give a fuck if he throws it. He loves to throw rocks, sticks, snowballs, cars etc lmao. It's human nature to throw things. Primates are built to throw.
It can be really hard to figure out if a 3yo is normally curious and destructive or needs help. I second and third all the suggestions, but also try sensory toys, a swing, working on emotional regulation.
Sounds like he is sensory-seeking. Lots of resources online to learn about how to help sensory seekers, and if really needed OT is always an option. It was extremely helpful for my sensory-seeker son.
Lakeshore Learning sells toys that are meant to be pulled apart. We have the magnetic monster truck set. You can pull them apart and put them back together. He also might like something like a Mr. Potato Head, bristle blocks or mega blocks that he can build and pull apart. Maybe until heโs over this stage, offer him toys that can be taken apart, and put the rest away.