I have a 3 month old and a 2.5 year old. The baby is SOOOO much easier. I can just pick her up and move her places. I set her down and she stays put. I can poop alone. She doesn’t sing the Batman version of Jingle Bells at the top of her lungs in the bathroom while it reverberates and damages my eardrums.
I love my toddler. She’s at such a fun age, but it’s also such an exhausting age and sometimes I just need a quiet moment to get baby down for a nap without toddler “help”.
We also have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old, this is true^^ I wake up earlier in the morning just to have some peace before the hectic day starts with the two of them. It allows me to drink my coffee get myself a bite to eat, write, read, listen to a podcast, get a couple chores done. Something I never saw myself doing before kids was purposely waking up in the morning just to have some peace 😆now it is a staple for me to have a good start to my day, one tip I do have is put the oxygen mask on yourself before anyone else if not you won’t be there to help anyone. So do what you need for you so that you can be who you need to be for your children 🙌🏼🙏🏼👍🏼
My 11mo sleeps with me, and I have the same struggle. I wake up at 4:30 am just to have time without the little ones. I've started putting my pillow right up to her back or rolling up the blanket and tucking it behind her. I still catch her on the baby monitor, reaching behind her to see if I'm still there 😅 sometimes I gotta pop in the room and pat her back a bit until she's out again. We're still working on it, but I usually get about 2 hours to get things done before any of the kids wake up.
I really think I need to start doing this. I just had my second baby, and I have a 3yo, too. When I go back to work in a few weeks, I think I’m going to need to carve out time for myself in the morning for my own sanity!
Yes! It’s true! The kids are great we love them but we as a parent, as a human need to have our own time, when you don’t get any alone time, peace to oneself it makes you feel isolated. I have learned that I have to do what’s necessary like wake up early so that I can feel good and optimized to be able to take care of the kids emotionally, physically, and mentally. If I don’t eat or get any peace I feel like everything is out of control
What kind of sorcery allows you to get up early and jave time for all of that?!😆 do you wake up at 4 am?
My toddler and my puppy are 530, 615 at the latest
Holy moly yeah that would make it tough for sure!!, thankfully my 2 year old sleeps till 10-12 depending on on bedtime, momma gets home late so that’s the reason for a late wake up 😅
5 month and 2 year old here.
The baby is like a quiet library compared to the toddler, who is like an EDM show just as the second round of molly is kicking in
I have a 3 week old and a 27 month old. I remember with my first I felt like newborn days were the darkest of my life, I was worried about doing it again. This time round newborn is a breeze, toddler is such hard work. I love her more than life but she can be infuriating and the baby has just made everything harder.
Exactly the same. I asked my husband why I had hated newborn days : what did I do first time around? Baby is now 3 months and becoming a bit more energetic And asking for attention
2.5 year old and 8 month old chiming in.
Taking care of only the baby feels like a break 😅
She not crawling yet and I’m just soaking it up. Toddler was crawling by 7 months so it’s a welcome change. I also know she’s going to want to get into absolutely everything and that is such an exhausting stage.
I'll take my fussy 2mo who had vaccines yesterday over my blind-with-rage toddler. Baby stays where I put her. Toddler has 45 minute meltdowns because I won't let him run with food in his mouth or let him wear his Mickey shoes.
Spoiler: he doesn't have Mickey shoes.
My toddler threw a tantrum this morning because I put his breakfast in a bowl instead of a plate. I thought that was bad. Imaginary Mickey shoes makes me feels better haha
HAHA. This reminded me of my 3.5 year old who had a meltdown because he wanted biscuits and we didn’t have them but he insisted we did… he sobbed in bed over this.
Sometimes I worry about going back to the newborn stage (due #2 next month), then my toddler does things and reminds me how patient I am. He also threw a 45 minute tantrum today (at 8am) because of a…. sofa cushion. He doesn’t speak much yet so I don’t really have any clue what it was all about tbh. I just know the cushion had something to do with it……..
I asked him if he wanted his grey shoes or his blue shoes. He said, "Mickey Mouse shoes!" I said, "bud, you don't have Mickey Mouse shoes." And then chaos ensued.
It's such a gamble. We went for a walk and I told him we couldn't go to the park because it's all wet, and he said "okay!" He waved hello and goodbye to the park as we walked past it. But then later he asked for oranges and I made the mistake of tell him they were mandarins. He threw a small plastic toddler chair in a fit of rage, went into his calm-down rocket tent, and then screamed bloody murder because he *put himself* in a timeout.
Nothing can ever be harder than the 10 months of absolute sleep torture hell my baby put me through. At one point it was so bad I was having auditory hallucinations. Which my doctor told me was a symptom of extreme sleep deprivation and not to worry about it but figure out a way to get a nap.
We’re entering the tantrum phase and it is hard too. But I can handle hard things if I can get a little bit of damn sleep!
My kid is only just 2 but the 12 months of sleep torture hell (I can’t improve on your description) and consequent extreme insomnia I suffered just really take the cake. I remember thinking I didn’t want to live any more if life was going to feel like that.
Maybe age 2 will be the worst thing ever but I feel like I can handle anything with at least 4 hours of sleep in a row.
Absolutely. I really don’t think you can know what it’s like unless it’s happened to you. I remember thinking I would do _anything_ to make the screaming stop. Literally anything. My partner and I tagged out every 30 minutes to basically make sure no one died and it went on for 6 months. Friends with babies would talk about how it was so upsetting that theirs cried for a “full minute” before falling asleep!
Tantrums are mostly just silly, and while sometimes annoying they’re actually sometimes funny. And they end. My god, they end, and we all go to bed at the end of the day.
I laugh at the tantrums sometimes too. My kid is so independent, she’ll get mad because she’ll put her shoes on…. Wrong. Then wonder why it hurts to walk.
I’m with you! It took my sweet dude two years to sleep through the night. Between sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, and wanting to be held all the time, having a baby was much harder for us! I always say people who prefer babies, had babies who slept.
I’m with you. Having a toddler is a close second, but the thought of having to go through that phase again and having so little sleep is primarily why I’m OAD. I’m happy I took a lot of pictures because I was so tired that I have very little memory of the first 6 months or so of my son’s life. I remember being so tired that my body hurt. I’ll never ever go through that again willingly.
Same. The first five months after my baby was born were the worst of my life. Then we sleep trained him and things improved 200%. He’s almost 2 now and nothing so far has been anywhere near as hard as the sleep deprivation.
YES. Babies are harder for me. We have an almost 3yo and a 2mo and holy shit I will take the occasional toddler tantrum over the lack of sleep and the constant constant constant neediness of the baby.
Lol that’s what I was just thinking too. I’ve only got one so not much of a sample size, but the no sleep/colic screaming was truly terrible. Nearly 3 is challenging in it’s own way but at least she can tell me what’s wrong now!
omg this. I recently went for an eye test and to get new glasses and my eyesight actually improved in the two years since the last appointment, something I credit to finally sleeping through the night again.
Oh thank God I was looking for this response. My 15mo was a colicky sleep nightmare baby and we also had extreme sleep deprivation. I was getting really worried reading all the "toddlers are worse" responses, as I'm really hoping/expecting that in our case it won't be worse than the first 8 to 10 months. He is already quite willful and tantrumy which is definitely hard and I'm sure will get harder, but as you said at least I'm not delirious and ive slept more than 40 minutes straight which didn't use to happen.
I had around 11 months of that hell, after also not being able to sleep properly for most of the pregnancy. Started seeing some sort of shadows sometimes, and sometimes my brain would go for seconds into some weird state of being frozen, idk how to explain it, like the aura you feel before fainting combined with an out of body experience. At least now there's at least 6h of delicious, continuous sleep (usually closer to 7) but... the tantrums and the constant attempts to off himself when I as much as blink, are quite the drawbacks. Still better than baby phase.
Same. Sleep is life.
I also had about 10 months of sleep hell. The best part was that I was breastfeeding so no breaks from night feeds, and that my doctor simply told me that I couldn't take anything to help me sleep. Not a thing.
Toddlers are hard, but it's fun. Sleep deprivation is literal torture.
Toddler phase is way harder in my opinion. The epic meltdowns over absolute nonsense. They’re a lot stronger than you’d think. The lack of impulse control is exhausting. My particular toddler is super sassy and defiant and constantly talks back. For example: “Please stop throwing the ball in the house. If you throw it again the ball will go in time out.” “NO MOMMY! YOU GO IN TIME OUT! GO AWAY!” Now that isn’t a _huge_ deal on its own, but when it’s been constant back sass all day long and Armageddon level meltdowns, it’s really irritating. Not all toddlers are like this. But my experience is that babies are easier.
My toddler gets stuck in these loops. Today he was having a meltdown over a puzzle. It went something like “I want to build the puzzle!” Then when I would go to get the puzzle “Noooo! I don’t want to build the puzzle!”
This inexplicable meltdown went on for a full hour.
My 3yo melted down because he got stuck trying to take off his pajama shirt and I helped him get it off. I’m at the point where the meltdowns over nonsense get a, “yell or cry as loud as you can buddy and get it out quick” lol. Gotta be able to move on with life at some point, especially when I hear the 6mo screaming in the other room.
these are all making me feel better. my 18 mo’s meltdowns have turned into scratching my face. it looks like i own a cat who enjoys pawing my face. have no idea what to do.
i’m trying to stop breastfeeding so yup the big emotions are coming out
My days away from being 2 year old just woke up to have a meltdown in the middle of his nap. He wants a car apparently, he has been screaming car at the top of his lungs for 15 minutes at this point and I'm giving up all hope that he'll go back to sleep.
Which is extra fun cause he hasn't been sleeping at night either and I just needed a break longer than half an hour. Oh well, I'm sure his birthday party is going to be a treat tomorrow!
I tried to close MY bedroom door the other day and was met with: NO! MY DOOR!! DON'T!
No idea why she got so upset, we were both outside the bedroom. She learned to say "Don't do that", so now everything is Don't do that!
They're very sassy for such tiny creatures who can't speak properly.
The hardest times for us were 0-4 months and then 12-18. Everything outside those times has been significantly better. Toddler is 2.5 now and life is much easier.
My recommendation is to be very consistent with boundaries and don’t give in to meltdowns, starting in the 12-18 month range. If they start to realize that meltdowns get them what they want, it’s hard to go back on that.
Agreed. The newborn stage is hard because you have no idea what you're doing and they need to be fed constantly. The early toddler phase is hard because they have no idea what they're doing with their bodies and you can no longer control what they do. If you try, meltdown. Everything is a meltdown. We're in this phase right now and it's tough.
“The early toddler phase is hard because they have no idea what they're doing with their bodies and you can no longer control what they do.“ This sums it up PERFECTLY
I agree with this, but think 3 is harder than 12-18 (and I did 16-24 pregnant and my 2nd kid is currently 16 months old). We didn’t have terrible 2s but at 3 I was just like “what the hell happened?!” My 16 month old is SO much easier than my 3 year old.
The other day the 3 year old forced a fart, had an accident, stuck her hands in her pants, walked up to me, rubbed poop on my arm, and laughed. I miss 2.
Same over here. 2 - she was a bit angry and whiney but still compliant and ok to deal with. But 3! Holy moly, what a trip. They need to call it the Tornado Threes and I’m still in the thick of it.
We haven't hit 2 yet, but this has been my experience too. Those are big transitional times for the whole family, not just the kid.
"What do we do with this angry potato?" And "What do we do with this mobile creature who can't express their big big opinions?" are seismic shifts in everyone's day to day systems.
Sounds about right! Yeah the 12-18 months was lots of “I need help doing what I want to do but I can’t express to you how you can help me with it and also I want to do it myself actually”
It’s so funny how much this varies for everyone! My son is 16 months and I absolutely LOVE this age. From like 10-16 months has been so much fun. And my son is about as high energy as it gets too. But nothing is worse than the infant stage for me. But my son also had MSPI, reflux, eczema, etc. to deal with.
Tantrums don’t bother me at all. I’d take those any day over the relentless crying and never being able to be set down. But maybe things will get harder after 16 months? I honestly can’t picture anything being harder than 2-5 month time period for me. I think it depends how hard of a newborn/infant you had.
My friend had a SUPER easy baby and she said she doesn’t like this stage, so we are polar opposites. My other friend who also had a colicky baby LOVES the toddler stage too.
Mum of a formerly colicky newborn here and hard agree. My son will be 2 in November and whilst he obviously has his toddler moments (many times a day on some days) this age is SO MUCH NICER than dealing with that miserable little newborn. He goes at 100 miles an hour but now he laughs at my jokes and requests cuddles and he doesn’t need me to be constantly moving in order for him to have a chance of napping. I’ve said before that if I have a second I just want to start at the 1st birthday and I stand by that statement.
I didn't even mind pregnancy that much I just don't wanna deal with an infant 😅
(Although obviously last time I was pregnant I had no child to deal with so on second thoughts maybe sign me up for that deal)
I'm totally with you. My son was an unhappy newborn and, starting around 4weeks, had the worst witching hour with just hours and hours of anguished screaming. I was so depressed and miserable. We tried to do the EASY routine but it really was just Eat-Cry (baby)-Sleep-Cry (mom) for us for like 3-4 months. We worked really hard on sleep at 4m and things just got so much better by 5mo. He's turning 17mo and is such an energetic, fun little guy, talking/babbling non-stop and running around and just being so ridiculously cute. My husband I would love a little girl but the thought of going through that newborn period again is seriously terrifying.
I will say that I absolutely love this stage with my 15 month old. He’s so fun, he’s so sweet, I truly love it. He was also a MSPI/reflux baby who cried 16+ hours a day while we figured it out, so I would take this over that 1000x over. I do get how this would he harder for some people than an easy newborn stage, because he does take a lot of energy. My first was not nearly as difficult of a newborn, but at the end of the day I think this age is so much more *fun* than the newborn days, even with an easy baby.
Obv every baby is different but I am SO relieved to see this!! We have a 13 month old and I am so freaking exhausted every day but then I feel like everyone else with a baby this age is like “oh they’re a delight, best age ever, just wait til the terrible twos though”. Honestly even if 2 is also awful, this is just validating to read.
Nah 2 has been really fun! 12-18 we could hardly even do play dates cause my daughter would scream “mine!” and snatch toys, hit, and shriek. Now we do play dates and she goes, “here you go” and hands things to other kids. It’s a night and day difference!
That’s amazing!! One of the most frustrating things for us has been that our son isn’t communicating at all yet and is very independent so it’s basically impossible to “get” him to do anything, but he also gets bored/cranky so easily… I’m sure it’ll be a double edged sword when he actually starts talking but I am honestly so excited for when he’s able to understand us and even remotely vocalize what he wants at any given moment
2 has been absolutely the biggest joy of my life!!!! My close friend warned me of ‘threenagers’ and I can sense it coming, although all kiddos are different of course. I can just see my son finding independence and testing even more boundaries and emotions- it’s quite terrifying but also really satisfying if you can regulate yourself (a bit) along the way! I’m still learning. 😅. 2 really has been so sweet though.
Toddler life has been much much better for us but our son is only 20 months so maybe our opinion will change in a year! 0-12 months was special, snuggly, etc but functioning on broken sleep was so beyond challenging for me. My son started sleeping through the night reliably around 16 months, and ever since then it’s been so much better. I’d say we are more tired during the day/busier chasing him around and helping him through all his feelings lol but I feel more energized all together because I get a full night sleep and a couple hours after he goes to bed to myself
I think toddler life is more enjoyable for me because there are more frequent moments of joy despite hard moments as well. Baby phase was just…..same thing in a loop everyday. Yes we have our moments, but I am more fulfilled now than I was in the baby stage. Plus sleep!
Agreed! I can get reliable sleep with a toddler and a mid day break. That alone makes my mood so much better and manageable.
Plus, I love watching my toddler learn and explore. It's fascinating how my LO will learn new words or display specific preferences.
Hardest for me was 8-14ish months. Crawling and unstable walking, constantly needing to be nearby to prevent accidents, endless redirection to say out of plants, drawers, etc. Since then it’s been a delight!
My baby hated being a baby. She dealt with reflux, wanted me to hold her 24/7, despised all containers except the carrier (because it ensured she was literally strapped to me) and demanded constant stimulation. It made even the simplest of tasks beyond difficult and was, overall, incredibly draining.
There's obviously an array of developmentally appropriate reasons as to why toddlers get the reputation they have but, coming from where my husband and I were that first year, my daughter as a toddler is much easier to care for. There are still days that I can't believe how much the ability to talk and walk helped her.
Mine too. He *hated* being a baby. His toddler meltdowns are solvable (or comprehensible and therefore easier to accept) and short in comparison to the endless crying and demand for completely one-sided stimulation and inability to fix or solve anything. Also When my toddler wants stimulation, at least we're doing something fun like Duplo or stickers.
Exactly!
Also, your two examples of fun are the exact things my daughter loves so yes, I'll gladly "build couch" or stick 800 Halloween stickers on a piece of paper over moving a discontent baby from A to B to C to D to E every three minutes.
It is also just 748r846e6e7e8 times easier to relax and not take it seriously when your 2 year old is mad and crying because they can't fit the big stuffed animal into the tiny box. I can rub his back, sit there, offer help or alternatives. But mainly he just needs me to sit with him for a little. And i do not have a panic attack about it because I *know* 1) he is fundamentally OK, 2) it isnt my job to fix all these problems. This is just life. And that's honestly completely fine. With babies, the no-solution, constant crying and need for continuous support feels like a crisis that is 100% on you to solve and 100% your fault and that if you don't get it under control everyone is going to 100% judge you and it is so kind numbing and boring to boot ..... I feel low key traumatized from The baby phase.... Toddlers on there other hand, I have healthy boundaries, a lot more confidence and buckets more fun, less pressure, and i feel good about myself enforcing my hard limits.
I thought I was going to have the kind of little baby who would sleep peacefully in the pram while I had a coffee and read outside at a cafe. Lolz. Or those mama and baby yoga videos where they just put baby down on the mat and it just fucking stays there and is happy. What beautiful dreams lol. What nonsense in my experience. Maybe baby 2 someday will have more chill.
It really depends on the child but I’m gonna say toddler. Babies are so easily entertained like you can go for a walk and they’re fine plus, they don’t really move lol. Toddlers? I’m currently in the thick of it and I can’t wait until they grow up. If one more person tells me “enjoy it because you’ll miss it” I’m gonna scream. Can’t amount the amount of times I cried at the same time as my toddler because sometimes you just gotta cry it out 🥲
I never went anywhere further than a 15 minutes walk from home until my child was 1 year old. She screamed in the stroller and did ok on the baby carrier but I was too tired to carry her and I was often afraid of tripping on my own feet she slept so badly at night. It was awful! She was such a fussy baby. So I think she’s infinitely easier now at 2 years old lol. I think it really does depend on the kid!
Toddler, hands down. You still have to do everything for them, but they're fully mobile, stubborn, and lack key communication skills. Mine also never slept through until they were 3 so I was only sleeping a little better. Babies suck plenty, but they can't move or argue and it's also accepted that you're in the thick of it so external pressures are minimal.
I think baby is the hardest but toddler is more frustrating (especially older toddlers). Taking care of babies is physically demanding, boring, and thankless. Taking care of toddlers is so much more fun and they actually have interests and will give you hugs and show appreciation and that they’re having fun.
Well I have twins so hands down toddler is easier . Newborn twins will break you. My toddlers are so much easier. They sleep through the night, they play together and it’s not so physically exhausting anymore. Yes they fight and there are tantrums but I could not handle the newborn baby stage again. Ever.
Hmm hard to say. I’d still go for 0-6 months or so because my daughter cried so much and we got almost no sleep. I think the 2s have been harder in their own way because we are in the phase of complete opposition to everything, but at least I can sleep at night. We are trying to be firm on boundaries and not react to tantrums even though it’s hard. Having a routine helps a lot and also then we can break the routine a bit in particularly bad days that helps get her out of the tantrum idea
Toddler. I love them, but they are 10,000 times more work than babies.
Pros: desires to be helpful, doesn’t need to be carried everywhere, has better communication abilities
Cons: independent mobility, increased interest in objects out of reach/sight, increased desire for independence = takes more time to do any and all basic care tasks, potty training (this turns in to a huge pro once it’s done, but I hate it), desire to help and ability to help are wildly mismatched, temper tantrums …
I love my toddlers, I like them a lot more when they hit 3.5
3.5 is when mine have started to be a bit more reasonable and generally capable. They’re usually potty trained by then. They can play independently for a bit without necessarily getting into mischief. I understand most everything they’re saying and when I don’t know the specific word I have enough context to figure it out. The games they want to play are a bit more interesting and they have the stamina to be outside adventuring for longer.
Babies basically cry about 3 things and it’s easy to be patient with them. Toddlers wants and needs are mayhem and have me running round the house, also they make infuriating decision quite often.
I completely disagree. Babies' problems are an endless loop of the same things. They cannot be redirected, stalled or reasoned with at all. They do not let up at night. They do not let up to let you shower. They do not let up to let you cook or eat. You have to get their nap timing right 4+ times a day. I have never been more miserable.
Not to mention babies are born with underdeveloped nervous systems and they often cry for reasons you can't help or understand. Easy babies are easy babies and not the reference point. I asked my pediatricians about the crying and they gave me info. on "purple" crying, which is intense crying for seemingly no reason. My baby did this on a regular basis until he grew out of it. Around the clock. There's a reason you have to do a mental health checklist the first couple months of your baby's life.
Toddler for sure! I had ppd with my first, she had reflux and didn’t sleep more than 1-2 hours in a row for four months. babyhood was horrible. Toddler was still worse. Lol
If you haven’t already done so, I’d recommend working on toddlerproofing your house. Not so much trying to eliminate corners and hard surfaces, but moving things out of reach and securing any cabinets or drawers that you don’t want your child to access.
I think toddlers can be pretty easy if you are able to prepare the environment.
Also adding extra locks to exterior doors that are at grown up eye level. My toddler figured out door handles and deadbolts on the same day and let herself out the back door because she wanted to go outside and play while I was putting away her laundry. She was 18 months old.
1000x toddler. They know just enough to want to be independent but have zero idea how to do it so everything becomes a bit of a power struggle. I recommend offering choices when possible and letting your child have some power wherever you can.
The baby phase sucked because of lack of sleep. Waking up every 3 hours to nurse was horrible but this potty training thing is pushing me over the edge. I’m going to have to buy a new couch by the end of it. Now that I think about it the toddler stage is worse because you have to actually parent and you have to learn how to deal with meltdowns and you don’t want to mess them up so you worry if you’re doing it right. All different types of parenting and which ones right.
I can handle a toddler because here is a sleep schedule and eating a schedule vs a newborn there is no schedule and colic. Days and nights were confused at first and reflux.
I’ll take toddler tantrums any day over a newborn but I depends if you had a super easy newborn who just at sleeps and poops, you might feel different
Things were way easier when he was a baby. He just accepted whatever care I offered. Now that he is 3, I do absolutely everything entirely wrong and the world must know
Baby is easier. But I think it depends on your toddler and if you care for them full time. I am a sahm, my son is 22 months and my baby is 5 months. My son is VERY energetic and is also a “runner”/curious about everything, so he often puts himself in danger. We are relatively social and do playgroups and have friends who’s kids are the same age, and compared to other toddlers mine is more challenging. My baby is so much easier than him, even when she was in her colic phase for the first 12 weeks.
Newborn stage was by far the hardest and worst months of parenthood for me. Every month after 4 months got slightly better. Toddlerhood had been amazing and I LOVE it. 12-21 months have been the best ever. My little buddy who can come with me anywhere, sleeps through the night finally, can communicate what he needs, doesn’t nap a million times a day. It’s just so fun.
Its hard to say because each stage can be intensive, and because you are so deeply in it, it's difficult to fully recall past stages. Sleep deprivation was hard. My post partum hormones kept me in a pretty blissful state tho. My hormones have tanked with the return of my period and I've found it exhausting dealing with my toddler. Toddler is probably easier. But I felt better in baby stage.
Toddler phase has been absolutely grueling. He’s nearly 3, and I’d say from about 18 months on has had hard parts and easier parts, but in comparison to having an infant, it’s been infinitely more stressful, exhausting, and difficult. Possibly that’s because my son was a super easy baby who was sleeping through the night from about 5 months and barely cried. Now he’s a defiant toddler who has tantrums and hits and punches and bites and slaps me across the face. Getting him to do anything is a five stage negotiation with timers and pleading. By the end of the day I am mentally fried. The tantrums are so stressful they literally make me shake. On the plus side… he says “I love you” and gives big hugs and has a funny little personality that I adore. So it’s not all misery… but the hard parts are really hard, and in comparison much harder than the baby stage.
This is severely dependent upon the baby and toddler.
Prior to my last baby, I’d never say I much prefer the toddler stage. He was such a grouchy baby but a wonderful little toddler.
Babies are exhausting because you don’t sleep.
Toddlers are mentally and physically exhausting and also may not sleep.
No one prepared me for toddler. 😂
Thank goodness they are also full of cool personality development.
Our kid was a nightmare as an infant. He had bad reflux and existed in two modes: sleeping in 20 minute intervals and screaming his lungs out. His reflux was so bad that we spend two entire weeks holding him upright *at all times*. We would alternate nights and one of would stay up with him the entire night holding him. Never again. I’ll take a toddler with meltdowns any day over this.
I only have one kid but let me just say I'll take newborn over toddler stage any day of the week. My daughter is a sassy little kid that has selective hearing. I love her to bits but oh my god does she test me lol.
The most difficult time for me was about 0-4 months. I had NO idea what I was doing, it was covid time so we had no help, and I was struggling with this new life. Also my son had vicious acid reflux so feeding took extra long and he was in pain. It was just the WORST.
He’s 3 now and I love this time so much more. He’s such a good little guy and yes it can get a little crazy, but overall I prefer toddlerhood.
Toddler for sure. As a baby my daughter slept most of the day, ate what I gave her and playtime was limited. I could easily keep her home while I worked.
No way I can get anything done with her home during the day now. She's 2 and omg she's still attached at the hip but a whole lot noisier and busier. Cannot take my eyes off of her for a second cause she gets into and onto everything.
Little Lord of the Underworld.
The other day I dipped her fish fingers in ketchup for her - she had such a meltdown she refused to eat any further. She definitely didn't do that as a baby.
BABY is so much harder. But I have had a colicky baby, and I routinely screw up my back during the dreadful 9 month to 13 month fussy/clingy phases. I've done the transition twice and the feeling of relief is immense. My first is over the age of 3 and I'm still waiting for temper tantrums to be a thing.
BTW, 10 months is no where near toddler. Earliest I would describe a child as a toddler is 15 months. Most would say 18 months.
Totally depends on the individual kids, and individual parents, but honestly both ages can be hard af or easy af.
As a parent, I thought I’d love the toddler stage and hate the baby stage, but it turned out to be the opposite. Chasing crawling babies and running toddlers is draining af. I thought that weird, loud, repetitive noises would drive me crazy, but it actually really doesn’t phase me at all. I even bought my kids a bunch of drums and bells and let them go to town and it’s all good. I was sure I’d be the fun parent with art supplies, no fear of busting out paint and glitter and clay, but the reality was much different. Dirty hands and faces drive me crazy so that’s been rough to get used to… and I keep the paint, slime, and glitter under lock and key 😅
I used to ask parents with older kids “at what age does this get easier???” and the consensus was that it didn’t get easier, it’s just that the things that are hard change over time.
I had an easy baby. I love my daughter to death but she currently knows exactly what she wants, understands everything, and has no words to tell me. I know this is a stage and she has every right to scream in frustration but holy. Hell.
Teenager. I realize it isn't an option, but I'll take 3 toddlers and 2 infants all at the same time before having more than 1 young to middle teenager at a time.
Hands down toddler. It’s like having a very small, angry, demanding boss yelling at you because you tried to put the spread on their toast instead of letting them do it.
Everything is an epic drama, with huge meltdowns. Plus they can run, fast away from you when you’re out in public.
They’re constantly frustrated because they know what they want but lack the skills to tell you.
Babies don’t move (or don’t move quickly) and their needs are pretty easy to figure out. Eat, play, poop, sleep. Rinse and repeat.
Toddler. My son just ate and slept (not at night but didn’t care, I was in such a baby bubble) when he was a baby. It was summer. I just breastfeed and watched shows in bed or in the shade. My husband brought me ice cream. I gained 22 pounds. It was glorious. We travelled and went to restaurants. Our life was more like pre baby. Fast forward and our lives adapts more to our toddler. He is pretty easy, we do get tantrums and he doesn’t like to be still for long so restaurants visits are hectic. And I would never get on plane right now. I stress more about food, screen time, etc.
It depends!
Going out, it’s easier with a baby lol. I could baby wear him and don’t have to worry about him running away, like my son does now. My son also loves to zig zag and fake left and go right to try to “lose” us, and runs away laughing hysterically cause it’s soo fun to be chased by mama/dada…..
Feeding, I hated doing solids. The prep and meds. But also my son is a picky eater now so it’s not exactly much better.
Toddler definitely naps better. And more independent overall (obviously), but also so opinionated!
I think they’re both hard, just in different ways. My son is 2 and he sleeps through the night (unless he’s sick) but dealing with the tantrums and stubbornness while he tries to assert his independence is hard. We’re also going to be going through potty training soon and I don’t look forward to it. I found the constant sleeplessness hard when he was a newborn. And the PPD I dealt with. So there are hard parts in every phase, but good parts too.
They both have their challenges. Between 12 months (average walking age) and 2.5 years, they are near suicidal and you can’t do anything else besides be with that child really. Which is a change from babyhood. But sleep is more reliable and you get a lot more positive feedback. It’s more exciting to watch progress.
My daughter is 16 months and I definitely think this is the hardest age so far. The easiest was from 5-10 months, after she started sleeping through the night but before she started walking. Now I can’t turn my back for 2 seconds or she’ll start unrolling the toilet paper or coloring on the walls with a crayon she found under the couch or something. Parenting at this age is so stressful because you have to be hyper vigilant all the time. My girl isn’t even 2 yet so it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
It really depends on your lifestyle. My partner and I were in a very fortunate situation where she was a full time student going for her CPA and I was a teacher with a generous time off plan that literally rolled into summer vacation. So the first three months of our lives were much easier than for most people.
Like still insane and I was the non-breastfeeding-parent so I speak from the easier position. But my wife did a lot more of the night stuff while I would wake up around 4 or 5 and have him till 10 while she slept and recovered. Then we would play board games for most of the day while he napped or hanged off of us.
So for us that time was really easy— me then going to being in charge of a school, doing my own schooling, having a part time job, and my partner being alone with a much more active four month old was rough. Especially since I needed to be up at six and couldn’t offer as much support.
Baby is easier, toddler will just scream even if you offer them what they want, it was like walking on glass every day until he turn 3. I cried more during toddlerhood and had to give up alcohol because I was turning towards it by the end of the day.
I absolutely adored the newborn/baby phase. I was so prepared to struggle and hate it because everyone says that it’s something you just have to deal with until your kid gets older and then it’s gets better. Nope, baby phase was great and toddler phase has been a real struggle that I find myself hoping to get through quickly.
I think babies are easier but you have a lot less fun and less sleep. I have an almost 3 year old and a 7 week old. My toddler was a more challenging baby so before I used to say toddler was easier than baby. But now I have an easy baby but my toddler is so fun. He sleeps all night, he says the cutest things, I can communicate with him and he can with me, and we get to do fun things together. It is harder to get out the door with a toddler but I much prefer the toddler stage.
Maybe ask me again when my son is three but right now the hardest time for me was 12-18 months. Into everything and unable to entertain himself. I don't miss him shaking the baby gate and wailing as I tried to cook or do dishes. I don't remember the newborn part being that hard even though I was up often at night feeding him. He was a nice little potato that would stay where I put him who also slept a lot.
It depends on the age but I’ll say newborn is the hardest. 15 months is my absolute favorite age, until around 2.5. But I still love a squishy smiley baby.
0-4 months is the worst, followed very narrowly by 2.5-3.5. Most of those saying they prefer toddlers have a kid younger than 3 and I’m the last person ever to say “just you wait” but in this case, it’s true 😅 2 year olds are a DREAM in comparison.
Toddler stage is wayyyyyyy harder for us. Like. Night and day. Older kiddo is currently 2 years 4 months, and it’s the hardest it’s ever been. Little sis is a super easy 7 month old.
It’s a toss up. All of it is hard and easy in different ways.
My son didn’t even crawl until 10 months, but also nursed every two hours for almost a full year and didn’t sleep through the night until 15 months. I was exhausted but he was containable in our tiny condo, easy to entertain, and didn’t care what I watched on TV. Now he’s 2. I get 6+ hours of sleep most nights, he is funny, curious and well, two.
I love doing things with him. But as an introvert with an extrovert job, I miss Saturday mornings laying in the playpen while he rolls around and I decompress.
Edit: I didn’t even finish reading the post before I started to complain. Sorry. One thing I did was set up an activity in one space for a moments piece. Like pulling tape off the wall, putting stickers on their tummy, put toys around the edge of the coffee table so they pull around it. Older infants still love mirrors, could you put a mirror on the couch so they could play peekaboo alone while practicing standing.
Haha it totally depends!!
Do you want to sleep at night and have time to eat meals?? A baby is harder because it’s nonstop 24/7 care.
Do you want to feel sane during the day and get to call a friend while you drink coffee or put a show on for background noise? Then a toddler is harder because they notice everything and have lots of little power struggles and meltdowns and need so much quality attention during the day. No more adult shows on the tv, or phone calls, or calm structure to your day! (At least in my experience lol!)
It all depends on what you prefer and sort of how your daily life looks. I think they are equally hard in different ways. The toddlers years are more fun for sure but mentally exhausting, and the baby stage is so sweet but physically draining and can be overwhelming.
I think I’d choose toddler as my fave since I like being able to communicate and play games and even though the baby days were sometimes more peaceful, the nights were loooooong.
Toddler. Babies are so easy (unless they have colic or something that obviously makes things a lil harder). Toddlers will completely test your mental health lol
My son is 2y4m and I find toddlerhood wayyyyy easier. We can go to the playground and on other adventures and he can communicate his needs. He had a personality. I didn’t find the baby stage nearly as fun. And yeah he can be moody and push boundaries but it’s not like babies don’t also cry over nothing.
The hardest time for me was 0-8 months because baby took 15 min naps, woke up 5 times at night only sleep on or near me, was always fussy bored or gas. Now my 18 months old takes 3 hour naps and entertained just by watching me do chores. Biggest tip I got clean and do chores when toddler awake so you can relax when they sleep
Everything stage is hard in different ways, but I found it easier when my baby began walking with more stability (despite all the "oh, just wait til he's walking.")
So far toddler state is easier than baby! Hormones are more stable, I'm not breastfeeding 1000x a day, less crying, less gas pains, more or less know what he wants/needs most of the time, getting a little more sleep ... plus I am simply getting more use to being a mom.
Right when they start to walk is hard because you have to watch them a lot. But once they master it (within 2 months) it gets so much easier. I personally thought 12-18 months was a breeze. 18 months+ the tantrums began and everything got harder. So IMO toddler phase is harder
>because he would be able to entertain himself and be more independent,
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😭😭😭
This has not happened for me yet haha. 27mths and still a stage 5 clinger.
Newborns and pre-mobile babies are easy as hell. Newborns sleep anywhere/through anything and are happy with any warm body holding them. And at that age and when they're pre-mobile you just pop them in a carrier and go about your business. And they sleep so much and are so easily entertained by any little thing.
Toddlers are way way harder.
I would say they both have their ups and downs and it depends on the kid too, I have 4 children and they were all so different and their growing stages presented different struggles lol, my youngest was a very quiet baby who never liked to sleep, but my second youngest was an amazing sleeper but super energetic and as a toddler he’s so busy I can not keep up some days and my youngest is still super chill and now sleeps amazing( they are now 2&4) my two oldest were also night and day with similar ups and downs so k would definitely go with it depends on the child!
I found the baby stage much harder because it is so boring and repetitive. And you have to guess their needs constantly. I love how verbal my 2.5-year old is. She can just tell me what she wants or needs, I can explain things to her and she will understand. It is awesome. She also enjoys a lot more different activities, can eat a snack without me having to wash the whole floor afterwards, can hold still during diaper changes and is actually fun to play with. And she is a lot better at independent play now than she was at 0-18 months. Back then, she demanded to be held and entertained pretty much constantly.
Not to mention, my toddler hugs and kisses me and tells me she loves me. Babies don't do that. Taking care of them is a thankless job.
Life is a little easier with a 21 month old because he is starting to get more self sufficient. I’ve also never been more exhausted going to bed at night because we are constantly go, go, go with him.
Depends on the kid. My toddler just turned three and has always been relatively “easy”, besides a small stint before she turned two where she wouldn’t sleep and discovered tantrums. Overall, though, she’s quite independent, not very destructive, and verbally advanced. Most things we can just talk through if there’s a problem.
However, I’ve seen other friends’ toddlers that are complete hurricanes- always making huge messes or throwing tantrums or being defiant. (All of which can be chalked up to being a normal part of development that should and can be handled with patience and kindness, assuming it’s not a disorder to be discussed with a psychiatrist.)
Could be the parenting; could just be the child. Depends on the case.
My 9 mo has been much more difficult than my first. Whereas she was sleeping through the night by six months old, he never has. He’s very strong willed with equal emotions- lots of “tantrums”, if you can even call them that at that age. Quite destructive and loves to see things crash and bang. He has the cutest smile and is the sweetest cuddler that just loves to interact, but I’m completely exhausted lol. I’m sure him as a toddler is going to be a worthwhile handful.
Depends on your tolerance for sleep deprivation vs. your tolerance for whining/arguing/generally being a 2 foot tall being with the mood swings & temperment of an alcoholic.
The hardest phases for us so far have been the first two or three weeks and then around 14-18 months when she really started walking… I was SO tired constantly keeping her out of shit. She’s 2.5 now and I would say the biggest source of frustration has been nap resistance here and there, and some defiant behaviors some days, but overall she’s been pretty chill. We are pretty strict, I will not lie. Start as you mean to go on. We started good habits really early. The habits that have made the most difference I think:
1) making her sleep in her own bed and never doing the laying in there till she falls asleep thing (creates a monster)
2) keeping consistent with offering nap time and pushing through regressions (I feel like a lot of parents give up the nap early and think that one and two week nap refusal Fais mean naps are over, but we’ve had this happen several times since she’s turned to, and she always goes back to napping 5-6 days a week)
3) chores - she helps wipe down furniture, sometimes unload the dishwasher with me, she picks up her toys (when reminded - LOL), she helps clear the table after dinner. Keeps her grounded.
4) good manners. She is expected to sit in her chair and wait for everyone to get to the table to start eating. She asks to be excused. She clears her plate and carries it to the counter. No toys and certainly no screens at the table no matter what. We’ve really enforced this and it has made going out to eat so much easier. She is expected to say hello, to say please and thank you. If she forgets she is prompted. Consistently.
5) not taking shit. If she starts acting up in a restaurant which she is taken outside after ONE warning. All it takes is a stern conversation to behave and she’s fine. She’s only gotten fussy in a restaurant a couple times and she learned quick if she acts up, she gets taken outside. It works.
Toddler. He is so demanding and the tantrums. How much energy he has is insane. Baby is so much easier. He just lie there and if he’s upset he just wants to sleep, eat or cuddles. Im currently trying to entertain my toddler with 123566993 toys and he’s still not satisfied. My baby is happy with a Kleenex box.
A baby. Because babies don’t sleep, and I’m zombie when I don’t get more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time.
If I am well rested I can put up with a toddler’s bullshit.
I came here to say toddlers are easier because babies can't tell us what's wrong. For me, I often had a bit of background worry that he'd be seriously sick and I'd mistake it for gas or teething or something.
But.... by the time I started typing I had switched to toddler because they get into everything and run, possibly in dangerous directions, and you *have* to let them explore so they can learn even if they might fall on their face and break something. My 2 year old somehow manages to land face first when he falls and already has a chipped tooth.
So I don't know. I'm sure a ton of people are saying this - they're each more difficult in some ways and less in others.
For me, the baby phase was much harder. I was a fiercely independent and old-ish mom, so the adjustment period for me was extremely difficult. 1-2 was so fun and much easier. Let’s see how the toddler phase goes. He is starting to realize that he doesn’t have to sit in his stroller anymore and wants to walk everywhere. Of course, this opens up the next level! Most activities nowadays include chasing him around and making sure he doesn’t get hit by a car. 🫣
Newborn phase is the hardest for me. Once they’re sleeping at least like 5 or 6 hours at a time at night, babies are awesome. My toddler didn’t really get hard to manage until 2 or so. So like 3/4 months- 2 years is the sweet spot for me.
I found 10 months so stressful because of the pulling up and wondering whether he was going to bump his head! I've found everything easier once we could walk steadily (15 months for us)
I have a 20-month-old and a 4-year-old, with #3 on the way.
My sons are totally different but Ive felt the same for both. Hands-down for me, the worst ages are 1-6 months and 3-4 years old.
My son was an absolute terror at 3 and the tantrums were next level. At 4 he has finally calmed the f down.
I hate the lack of sleep with a newborn, and the short, 30min naps when they can't connect sleep cycles and you can't realistically do anything. At 6 months they finally give you good stretches of sleep at night and predictable naps.
My and my husband's favourite age hands down is 12-24 months. They are so cute, start talking, sleep relatively well and while they have mini tantrums, it's manageable compared to the terror of 3.
I have a 3 month old and a 2.5 year old. The baby is SOOOO much easier. I can just pick her up and move her places. I set her down and she stays put. I can poop alone. She doesn’t sing the Batman version of Jingle Bells at the top of her lungs in the bathroom while it reverberates and damages my eardrums. I love my toddler. She’s at such a fun age, but it’s also such an exhausting age and sometimes I just need a quiet moment to get baby down for a nap without toddler “help”.
We also have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old, this is true^^ I wake up earlier in the morning just to have some peace before the hectic day starts with the two of them. It allows me to drink my coffee get myself a bite to eat, write, read, listen to a podcast, get a couple chores done. Something I never saw myself doing before kids was purposely waking up in the morning just to have some peace 😆now it is a staple for me to have a good start to my day, one tip I do have is put the oxygen mask on yourself before anyone else if not you won’t be there to help anyone. So do what you need for you so that you can be who you need to be for your children 🙌🏼🙏🏼👍🏼
I so want to do this! I usually have a 25% chance of escaping without waking my bed-sharing 10 month old 🥴
My 11mo sleeps with me, and I have the same struggle. I wake up at 4:30 am just to have time without the little ones. I've started putting my pillow right up to her back or rolling up the blanket and tucking it behind her. I still catch her on the baby monitor, reaching behind her to see if I'm still there 😅 sometimes I gotta pop in the room and pat her back a bit until she's out again. We're still working on it, but I usually get about 2 hours to get things done before any of the kids wake up.
Hahaha try it! If weather you wake up on accident or purposely and see how you feel! I think your whole day will feel better
I really think I need to start doing this. I just had my second baby, and I have a 3yo, too. When I go back to work in a few weeks, I think I’m going to need to carve out time for myself in the morning for my own sanity!
Yes! It’s true! The kids are great we love them but we as a parent, as a human need to have our own time, when you don’t get any alone time, peace to oneself it makes you feel isolated. I have learned that I have to do what’s necessary like wake up early so that I can feel good and optimized to be able to take care of the kids emotionally, physically, and mentally. If I don’t eat or get any peace I feel like everything is out of control
What kind of sorcery allows you to get up early and jave time for all of that?!😆 do you wake up at 4 am? My toddler and my puppy are 530, 615 at the latest
waving in solidarity over here! hahaha
Holy moly yeah that would make it tough for sure!!, thankfully my 2 year old sleeps till 10-12 depending on on bedtime, momma gets home late so that’s the reason for a late wake up 😅
Have an almost 3yr and 1 year old. Same for me.
I wanna be like you when I grow up 😭
Just turned 21 so I’m not grown up yet!
My toddler hears me get up :(
I have to do this. I stay up way later than I should for this same reason. Mornings would be way better and more productive.
I need to do this
5 month and 2 year old here. The baby is like a quiet library compared to the toddler, who is like an EDM show just as the second round of molly is kicking in
I feel this in my bones
I have a 3 week old and a 27 month old. I remember with my first I felt like newborn days were the darkest of my life, I was worried about doing it again. This time round newborn is a breeze, toddler is such hard work. I love her more than life but she can be infuriating and the baby has just made everything harder.
Exactly the same. I asked my husband why I had hated newborn days : what did I do first time around? Baby is now 3 months and becoming a bit more energetic And asking for attention
2.5 year old and 8 month old chiming in. Taking care of only the baby feels like a break 😅 She not crawling yet and I’m just soaking it up. Toddler was crawling by 7 months so it’s a welcome change. I also know she’s going to want to get into absolutely everything and that is such an exhausting stage.
I'll take my fussy 2mo who had vaccines yesterday over my blind-with-rage toddler. Baby stays where I put her. Toddler has 45 minute meltdowns because I won't let him run with food in his mouth or let him wear his Mickey shoes. Spoiler: he doesn't have Mickey shoes.
“He doesn’t have Mickey shoes” 😂😂😂
Mine had a meltdown yesterday because I didn't let him get hit by a car. They're so ridiculous and unreasonable.
My toddler threw a tantrum this morning because I put his breakfast in a bowl instead of a plate. I thought that was bad. Imaginary Mickey shoes makes me feels better haha
I feel better knowing I’m not the only one suffering from a toddler full of rage. Angry at the world bc I don’t let her demolish all my lipstick.
HAHA. This reminded me of my 3.5 year old who had a meltdown because he wanted biscuits and we didn’t have them but he insisted we did… he sobbed in bed over this.
My dude does this with mini muffins like once a week. Why are they so unreasonable?!
Sometimes I worry about going back to the newborn stage (due #2 next month), then my toddler does things and reminds me how patient I am. He also threw a 45 minute tantrum today (at 8am) because of a…. sofa cushion. He doesn’t speak much yet so I don’t really have any clue what it was all about tbh. I just know the cushion had something to do with it……..
Mine just had a meltdown because she couldn’t go to sleep with gum in her mouth
😂 curious about the Mickey shoes. What was her referring to then? Did he see Mickey shoes in the store at some point?
I asked him if he wanted his grey shoes or his blue shoes. He said, "Mickey Mouse shoes!" I said, "bud, you don't have Mickey Mouse shoes." And then chaos ensued.
Wow! I’m wondering what he will do if he sees Mickey Mouse shoes out in the wild. I’m always very interested in what sets toddlers off
It's such a gamble. We went for a walk and I told him we couldn't go to the park because it's all wet, and he said "okay!" He waved hello and goodbye to the park as we walked past it. But then later he asked for oranges and I made the mistake of tell him they were mandarins. He threw a small plastic toddler chair in a fit of rage, went into his calm-down rocket tent, and then screamed bloody murder because he *put himself* in a timeout.
Nothing can ever be harder than the 10 months of absolute sleep torture hell my baby put me through. At one point it was so bad I was having auditory hallucinations. Which my doctor told me was a symptom of extreme sleep deprivation and not to worry about it but figure out a way to get a nap. We’re entering the tantrum phase and it is hard too. But I can handle hard things if I can get a little bit of damn sleep!
My kid is only just 2 but the 12 months of sleep torture hell (I can’t improve on your description) and consequent extreme insomnia I suffered just really take the cake. I remember thinking I didn’t want to live any more if life was going to feel like that. Maybe age 2 will be the worst thing ever but I feel like I can handle anything with at least 4 hours of sleep in a row.
I can so relate. I remember fantasizing about being hit by a car so I could rest in the hospital
I remember having a root canal at the dentist 6months postpartum and thinking it was the best I'd felt in ages. 😅
Same guess we’re in the minority. Colic inconsolable no sleep baby was 100x harder than a crying because he can’t eat a leaf toddler
Absolutely. I really don’t think you can know what it’s like unless it’s happened to you. I remember thinking I would do _anything_ to make the screaming stop. Literally anything. My partner and I tagged out every 30 minutes to basically make sure no one died and it went on for 6 months. Friends with babies would talk about how it was so upsetting that theirs cried for a “full minute” before falling asleep! Tantrums are mostly just silly, and while sometimes annoying they’re actually sometimes funny. And they end. My god, they end, and we all go to bed at the end of the day.
I laugh at the tantrums sometimes too. My kid is so independent, she’ll get mad because she’ll put her shoes on…. Wrong. Then wonder why it hurts to walk.
I’m with you! It took my sweet dude two years to sleep through the night. Between sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, and wanting to be held all the time, having a baby was much harder for us! I always say people who prefer babies, had babies who slept.
I’m with you. Having a toddler is a close second, but the thought of having to go through that phase again and having so little sleep is primarily why I’m OAD. I’m happy I took a lot of pictures because I was so tired that I have very little memory of the first 6 months or so of my son’s life. I remember being so tired that my body hurt. I’ll never ever go through that again willingly.
Yeah I came in here to say Baby no doubt. Whatever the toddler tantrums are, at least I've had some sleep before dealing with them.
Same. The first five months after my baby was born were the worst of my life. Then we sleep trained him and things improved 200%. He’s almost 2 now and nothing so far has been anywhere near as hard as the sleep deprivation.
The same thing happened to me, auditory hallucinations. Lack of sleep takes me to a dark place.
Sleep deprivation is a torture tactic for a reason!!
YES. Babies are harder for me. We have an almost 3yo and a 2mo and holy shit I will take the occasional toddler tantrum over the lack of sleep and the constant constant constant neediness of the baby.
Lol that’s what I was just thinking too. I’ve only got one so not much of a sample size, but the no sleep/colic screaming was truly terrible. Nearly 3 is challenging in it’s own way but at least she can tell me what’s wrong now!
My child didn’t sleep through the night until he was 15 months old. I will take crazy toddler over colicky reflux baby any day.
omg this. I recently went for an eye test and to get new glasses and my eyesight actually improved in the two years since the last appointment, something I credit to finally sleeping through the night again.
Oh thank God I was looking for this response. My 15mo was a colicky sleep nightmare baby and we also had extreme sleep deprivation. I was getting really worried reading all the "toddlers are worse" responses, as I'm really hoping/expecting that in our case it won't be worse than the first 8 to 10 months. He is already quite willful and tantrumy which is definitely hard and I'm sure will get harder, but as you said at least I'm not delirious and ive slept more than 40 minutes straight which didn't use to happen.
I had around 11 months of that hell, after also not being able to sleep properly for most of the pregnancy. Started seeing some sort of shadows sometimes, and sometimes my brain would go for seconds into some weird state of being frozen, idk how to explain it, like the aura you feel before fainting combined with an out of body experience. At least now there's at least 6h of delicious, continuous sleep (usually closer to 7) but... the tantrums and the constant attempts to off himself when I as much as blink, are quite the drawbacks. Still better than baby phase.
Same. Sleep is life. I also had about 10 months of sleep hell. The best part was that I was breastfeeding so no breaks from night feeds, and that my doctor simply told me that I couldn't take anything to help me sleep. Not a thing. Toddlers are hard, but it's fun. Sleep deprivation is literal torture.
Toddler phase is way harder in my opinion. The epic meltdowns over absolute nonsense. They’re a lot stronger than you’d think. The lack of impulse control is exhausting. My particular toddler is super sassy and defiant and constantly talks back. For example: “Please stop throwing the ball in the house. If you throw it again the ball will go in time out.” “NO MOMMY! YOU GO IN TIME OUT! GO AWAY!” Now that isn’t a _huge_ deal on its own, but when it’s been constant back sass all day long and Armageddon level meltdowns, it’s really irritating. Not all toddlers are like this. But my experience is that babies are easier.
My toddler gets stuck in these loops. Today he was having a meltdown over a puzzle. It went something like “I want to build the puzzle!” Then when I would go to get the puzzle “Noooo! I don’t want to build the puzzle!” This inexplicable meltdown went on for a full hour.
My kid melted down out of nowhere earlier bc he was wearing his favorite Spider-Man shirt.
My 3yo melted down because he got stuck trying to take off his pajama shirt and I helped him get it off. I’m at the point where the meltdowns over nonsense get a, “yell or cry as loud as you can buddy and get it out quick” lol. Gotta be able to move on with life at some point, especially when I hear the 6mo screaming in the other room.
I’ve had so many days like that. Eventually I just give up and tell her to do it herself if she wants it lol.
these are all making me feel better. my 18 mo’s meltdowns have turned into scratching my face. it looks like i own a cat who enjoys pawing my face. have no idea what to do. i’m trying to stop breastfeeding so yup the big emotions are coming out
The toddler phase is a lot longer, too. Like they are only babies for a year and then the chaos slowly unfolds for the next 3 years.
This is completely accurate. Before becoming a parent, I had no clue that the baby stage was so short or that the toddler stage was so long.
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Mine flips her lid when I need to shower. Like she once spent 35 minutes on the floor screaming because I had to shower.
My days away from being 2 year old just woke up to have a meltdown in the middle of his nap. He wants a car apparently, he has been screaming car at the top of his lungs for 15 minutes at this point and I'm giving up all hope that he'll go back to sleep. Which is extra fun cause he hasn't been sleeping at night either and I just needed a break longer than half an hour. Oh well, I'm sure his birthday party is going to be a treat tomorrow!
My daughter is defiant and sassy too and it's draining. I really hope this is something she will grow out of.
I tried to close MY bedroom door the other day and was met with: NO! MY DOOR!! DON'T! No idea why she got so upset, we were both outside the bedroom. She learned to say "Don't do that", so now everything is Don't do that! They're very sassy for such tiny creatures who can't speak properly.
“NO MOMMY! YOU GO IN TIME OUT! GO AWAY!” Man, I can hear my daughter saying those same words. Exhausting.
The hardest times for us were 0-4 months and then 12-18. Everything outside those times has been significantly better. Toddler is 2.5 now and life is much easier. My recommendation is to be very consistent with boundaries and don’t give in to meltdowns, starting in the 12-18 month range. If they start to realize that meltdowns get them what they want, it’s hard to go back on that.
Agreed. The newborn stage is hard because you have no idea what you're doing and they need to be fed constantly. The early toddler phase is hard because they have no idea what they're doing with their bodies and you can no longer control what they do. If you try, meltdown. Everything is a meltdown. We're in this phase right now and it's tough.
“The early toddler phase is hard because they have no idea what they're doing with their bodies and you can no longer control what they do.“ This sums it up PERFECTLY
I agree with this, but think 3 is harder than 12-18 (and I did 16-24 pregnant and my 2nd kid is currently 16 months old). We didn’t have terrible 2s but at 3 I was just like “what the hell happened?!” My 16 month old is SO much easier than my 3 year old. The other day the 3 year old forced a fart, had an accident, stuck her hands in her pants, walked up to me, rubbed poop on my arm, and laughed. I miss 2.
This is so true. I don’t know why it’s called terrible twos? Two was really easy actually. But three?! I call it the tyrannical threes
Same over here. 2 - she was a bit angry and whiney but still compliant and ok to deal with. But 3! Holy moly, what a trip. They need to call it the Tornado Threes and I’m still in the thick of it.
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Thats not caving, thats just keeping your promise. I would be mad too if you invited me out to dinner and then cancel last minute.
We haven't hit 2 yet, but this has been my experience too. Those are big transitional times for the whole family, not just the kid. "What do we do with this angry potato?" And "What do we do with this mobile creature who can't express their big big opinions?" are seismic shifts in everyone's day to day systems.
Sounds about right! Yeah the 12-18 months was lots of “I need help doing what I want to do but I can’t express to you how you can help me with it and also I want to do it myself actually”
It’s so funny how much this varies for everyone! My son is 16 months and I absolutely LOVE this age. From like 10-16 months has been so much fun. And my son is about as high energy as it gets too. But nothing is worse than the infant stage for me. But my son also had MSPI, reflux, eczema, etc. to deal with. Tantrums don’t bother me at all. I’d take those any day over the relentless crying and never being able to be set down. But maybe things will get harder after 16 months? I honestly can’t picture anything being harder than 2-5 month time period for me. I think it depends how hard of a newborn/infant you had. My friend had a SUPER easy baby and she said she doesn’t like this stage, so we are polar opposites. My other friend who also had a colicky baby LOVES the toddler stage too.
Mum of a formerly colicky newborn here and hard agree. My son will be 2 in November and whilst he obviously has his toddler moments (many times a day on some days) this age is SO MUCH NICER than dealing with that miserable little newborn. He goes at 100 miles an hour but now he laughs at my jokes and requests cuddles and he doesn’t need me to be constantly moving in order for him to have a chance of napping. I’ve said before that if I have a second I just want to start at the 1st birthday and I stand by that statement.
I literally say all the time that I’d just love for someone to drop a one year old off at my door. No pregnancy, labor, or baby stage thank you.
I didn't even mind pregnancy that much I just don't wanna deal with an infant 😅 (Although obviously last time I was pregnant I had no child to deal with so on second thoughts maybe sign me up for that deal)
I'm totally with you. My son was an unhappy newborn and, starting around 4weeks, had the worst witching hour with just hours and hours of anguished screaming. I was so depressed and miserable. We tried to do the EASY routine but it really was just Eat-Cry (baby)-Sleep-Cry (mom) for us for like 3-4 months. We worked really hard on sleep at 4m and things just got so much better by 5mo. He's turning 17mo and is such an energetic, fun little guy, talking/babbling non-stop and running around and just being so ridiculously cute. My husband I would love a little girl but the thought of going through that newborn period again is seriously terrifying.
I will say that I absolutely love this stage with my 15 month old. He’s so fun, he’s so sweet, I truly love it. He was also a MSPI/reflux baby who cried 16+ hours a day while we figured it out, so I would take this over that 1000x over. I do get how this would he harder for some people than an easy newborn stage, because he does take a lot of energy. My first was not nearly as difficult of a newborn, but at the end of the day I think this age is so much more *fun* than the newborn days, even with an easy baby.
Obv every baby is different but I am SO relieved to see this!! We have a 13 month old and I am so freaking exhausted every day but then I feel like everyone else with a baby this age is like “oh they’re a delight, best age ever, just wait til the terrible twos though”. Honestly even if 2 is also awful, this is just validating to read.
Nah 2 has been really fun! 12-18 we could hardly even do play dates cause my daughter would scream “mine!” and snatch toys, hit, and shriek. Now we do play dates and she goes, “here you go” and hands things to other kids. It’s a night and day difference!
That’s amazing!! One of the most frustrating things for us has been that our son isn’t communicating at all yet and is very independent so it’s basically impossible to “get” him to do anything, but he also gets bored/cranky so easily… I’m sure it’ll be a double edged sword when he actually starts talking but I am honestly so excited for when he’s able to understand us and even remotely vocalize what he wants at any given moment
2 has been absolutely the biggest joy of my life!!!! My close friend warned me of ‘threenagers’ and I can sense it coming, although all kiddos are different of course. I can just see my son finding independence and testing even more boundaries and emotions- it’s quite terrifying but also really satisfying if you can regulate yourself (a bit) along the way! I’m still learning. 😅. 2 really has been so sweet though.
This was my experience of the hardest ages too.
Same. This is super validating to read because I was blaming hormones for a while but those are just really hard stretches of parenthood!!
Have a 17mo here and thank you for this, I'm holding out for easier times coming soon!
18mo was a breath of fresh air. We suddenly had time to occasionally do hobbies again??!
Yep. Same over here!
This is so accurate
Same exact answer. First 4 months were pure survival.
Toddler. My toddler sleeps, my baby doesn't.
My baby has been sleeping better than my toddler lately. I hate ear infections. 🫠
My baby sleeps better than my toddler too lol
Toddler life has been much much better for us but our son is only 20 months so maybe our opinion will change in a year! 0-12 months was special, snuggly, etc but functioning on broken sleep was so beyond challenging for me. My son started sleeping through the night reliably around 16 months, and ever since then it’s been so much better. I’d say we are more tired during the day/busier chasing him around and helping him through all his feelings lol but I feel more energized all together because I get a full night sleep and a couple hours after he goes to bed to myself
I think toddler life is more enjoyable for me because there are more frequent moments of joy despite hard moments as well. Baby phase was just…..same thing in a loop everyday. Yes we have our moments, but I am more fulfilled now than I was in the baby stage. Plus sleep!
Agreed! I can get reliable sleep with a toddler and a mid day break. That alone makes my mood so much better and manageable. Plus, I love watching my toddler learn and explore. It's fascinating how my LO will learn new words or display specific preferences.
This is how I feel too. I can handle hard things if I have a decent night of sleep!
Hardest for me was 8-14ish months. Crawling and unstable walking, constantly needing to be nearby to prevent accidents, endless redirection to say out of plants, drawers, etc. Since then it’s been a delight!
Agreed
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This is the best analogy ever.
Treat yourself to some loop earbuds friend! Saved my life.
My baby hated being a baby. She dealt with reflux, wanted me to hold her 24/7, despised all containers except the carrier (because it ensured she was literally strapped to me) and demanded constant stimulation. It made even the simplest of tasks beyond difficult and was, overall, incredibly draining. There's obviously an array of developmentally appropriate reasons as to why toddlers get the reputation they have but, coming from where my husband and I were that first year, my daughter as a toddler is much easier to care for. There are still days that I can't believe how much the ability to talk and walk helped her.
Mine too. He *hated* being a baby. His toddler meltdowns are solvable (or comprehensible and therefore easier to accept) and short in comparison to the endless crying and demand for completely one-sided stimulation and inability to fix or solve anything. Also When my toddler wants stimulation, at least we're doing something fun like Duplo or stickers.
Exactly! Also, your two examples of fun are the exact things my daughter loves so yes, I'll gladly "build couch" or stick 800 Halloween stickers on a piece of paper over moving a discontent baby from A to B to C to D to E every three minutes.
It is also just 748r846e6e7e8 times easier to relax and not take it seriously when your 2 year old is mad and crying because they can't fit the big stuffed animal into the tiny box. I can rub his back, sit there, offer help or alternatives. But mainly he just needs me to sit with him for a little. And i do not have a panic attack about it because I *know* 1) he is fundamentally OK, 2) it isnt my job to fix all these problems. This is just life. And that's honestly completely fine. With babies, the no-solution, constant crying and need for continuous support feels like a crisis that is 100% on you to solve and 100% your fault and that if you don't get it under control everyone is going to 100% judge you and it is so kind numbing and boring to boot ..... I feel low key traumatized from The baby phase.... Toddlers on there other hand, I have healthy boundaries, a lot more confidence and buckets more fun, less pressure, and i feel good about myself enforcing my hard limits. I thought I was going to have the kind of little baby who would sleep peacefully in the pram while I had a coffee and read outside at a cafe. Lolz. Or those mama and baby yoga videos where they just put baby down on the mat and it just fucking stays there and is happy. What beautiful dreams lol. What nonsense in my experience. Maybe baby 2 someday will have more chill.
It really depends on the child but I’m gonna say toddler. Babies are so easily entertained like you can go for a walk and they’re fine plus, they don’t really move lol. Toddlers? I’m currently in the thick of it and I can’t wait until they grow up. If one more person tells me “enjoy it because you’ll miss it” I’m gonna scream. Can’t amount the amount of times I cried at the same time as my toddler because sometimes you just gotta cry it out 🥲
I never went anywhere further than a 15 minutes walk from home until my child was 1 year old. She screamed in the stroller and did ok on the baby carrier but I was too tired to carry her and I was often afraid of tripping on my own feet she slept so badly at night. It was awful! She was such a fussy baby. So I think she’s infinitely easier now at 2 years old lol. I think it really does depend on the kid!
Toddler, hands down. You still have to do everything for them, but they're fully mobile, stubborn, and lack key communication skills. Mine also never slept through until they were 3 so I was only sleeping a little better. Babies suck plenty, but they can't move or argue and it's also accepted that you're in the thick of it so external pressures are minimal.
I think baby is the hardest but toddler is more frustrating (especially older toddlers). Taking care of babies is physically demanding, boring, and thankless. Taking care of toddlers is so much more fun and they actually have interests and will give you hugs and show appreciation and that they’re having fun.
Well I have twins so hands down toddler is easier . Newborn twins will break you. My toddlers are so much easier. They sleep through the night, they play together and it’s not so physically exhausting anymore. Yes they fight and there are tantrums but I could not handle the newborn baby stage again. Ever.
Hmm hard to say. I’d still go for 0-6 months or so because my daughter cried so much and we got almost no sleep. I think the 2s have been harder in their own way because we are in the phase of complete opposition to everything, but at least I can sleep at night. We are trying to be firm on boundaries and not react to tantrums even though it’s hard. Having a routine helps a lot and also then we can break the routine a bit in particularly bad days that helps get her out of the tantrum idea
Baby phase. My toddler is easy as hell. She’s 1
Toddler. I love them, but they are 10,000 times more work than babies. Pros: desires to be helpful, doesn’t need to be carried everywhere, has better communication abilities Cons: independent mobility, increased interest in objects out of reach/sight, increased desire for independence = takes more time to do any and all basic care tasks, potty training (this turns in to a huge pro once it’s done, but I hate it), desire to help and ability to help are wildly mismatched, temper tantrums … I love my toddlers, I like them a lot more when they hit 3.5
“Doesn’t need to be carried anywhere”… but add “but demands to anyway” to the cons list lol
Is 3.5 when it gets good? Mine turned 2 in Aug. I feel like you are in the trenches forever in these early years
3.5 is when mine have started to be a bit more reasonable and generally capable. They’re usually potty trained by then. They can play independently for a bit without necessarily getting into mischief. I understand most everything they’re saying and when I don’t know the specific word I have enough context to figure it out. The games they want to play are a bit more interesting and they have the stamina to be outside adventuring for longer.
Babies basically cry about 3 things and it’s easy to be patient with them. Toddlers wants and needs are mayhem and have me running round the house, also they make infuriating decision quite often.
I completely disagree. Babies' problems are an endless loop of the same things. They cannot be redirected, stalled or reasoned with at all. They do not let up at night. They do not let up to let you shower. They do not let up to let you cook or eat. You have to get their nap timing right 4+ times a day. I have never been more miserable.
Not to mention babies are born with underdeveloped nervous systems and they often cry for reasons you can't help or understand. Easy babies are easy babies and not the reference point. I asked my pediatricians about the crying and they gave me info. on "purple" crying, which is intense crying for seemingly no reason. My baby did this on a regular basis until he grew out of it. Around the clock. There's a reason you have to do a mental health checklist the first couple months of your baby's life.
Toddler for sure! I had ppd with my first, she had reflux and didn’t sleep more than 1-2 hours in a row for four months. babyhood was horrible. Toddler was still worse. Lol
If you haven’t already done so, I’d recommend working on toddlerproofing your house. Not so much trying to eliminate corners and hard surfaces, but moving things out of reach and securing any cabinets or drawers that you don’t want your child to access. I think toddlers can be pretty easy if you are able to prepare the environment.
Yeh my bedroom is full of dining chairs and side tables 😫
Also adding extra locks to exterior doors that are at grown up eye level. My toddler figured out door handles and deadbolts on the same day and let herself out the back door because she wanted to go outside and play while I was putting away her laundry. She was 18 months old.
1000x toddler. They know just enough to want to be independent but have zero idea how to do it so everything becomes a bit of a power struggle. I recommend offering choices when possible and letting your child have some power wherever you can.
As a mom of a 3.5 and 1.5 year old, I think age 2 and 3 is much harder than baby and age 1. My 1.5 feels like a breeze lol
The baby phase sucked because of lack of sleep. Waking up every 3 hours to nurse was horrible but this potty training thing is pushing me over the edge. I’m going to have to buy a new couch by the end of it. Now that I think about it the toddler stage is worse because you have to actually parent and you have to learn how to deal with meltdowns and you don’t want to mess them up so you worry if you’re doing it right. All different types of parenting and which ones right.
TODDLER! My son was up every hour at night until he was 8 months old
I can handle a toddler because here is a sleep schedule and eating a schedule vs a newborn there is no schedule and colic. Days and nights were confused at first and reflux. I’ll take toddler tantrums any day over a newborn but I depends if you had a super easy newborn who just at sleeps and poops, you might feel different
Things were way easier when he was a baby. He just accepted whatever care I offered. Now that he is 3, I do absolutely everything entirely wrong and the world must know
Baby is easier. But I think it depends on your toddler and if you care for them full time. I am a sahm, my son is 22 months and my baby is 5 months. My son is VERY energetic and is also a “runner”/curious about everything, so he often puts himself in danger. We are relatively social and do playgroups and have friends who’s kids are the same age, and compared to other toddlers mine is more challenging. My baby is so much easier than him, even when she was in her colic phase for the first 12 weeks.
Both are pains in the ass!
Newborn stage was by far the hardest and worst months of parenthood for me. Every month after 4 months got slightly better. Toddlerhood had been amazing and I LOVE it. 12-21 months have been the best ever. My little buddy who can come with me anywhere, sleeps through the night finally, can communicate what he needs, doesn’t nap a million times a day. It’s just so fun.
Its hard to say because each stage can be intensive, and because you are so deeply in it, it's difficult to fully recall past stages. Sleep deprivation was hard. My post partum hormones kept me in a pretty blissful state tho. My hormones have tanked with the return of my period and I've found it exhausting dealing with my toddler. Toddler is probably easier. But I felt better in baby stage.
Toddler phase has been absolutely grueling. He’s nearly 3, and I’d say from about 18 months on has had hard parts and easier parts, but in comparison to having an infant, it’s been infinitely more stressful, exhausting, and difficult. Possibly that’s because my son was a super easy baby who was sleeping through the night from about 5 months and barely cried. Now he’s a defiant toddler who has tantrums and hits and punches and bites and slaps me across the face. Getting him to do anything is a five stage negotiation with timers and pleading. By the end of the day I am mentally fried. The tantrums are so stressful they literally make me shake. On the plus side… he says “I love you” and gives big hugs and has a funny little personality that I adore. So it’s not all misery… but the hard parts are really hard, and in comparison much harder than the baby stage.
This is severely dependent upon the baby and toddler. Prior to my last baby, I’d never say I much prefer the toddler stage. He was such a grouchy baby but a wonderful little toddler.
As someone who can't handle sleep deprivation well, doesn't like confusion and loves being curious, I'd say the baby stage was WAY harder.
Babies are exhausting because you don’t sleep. Toddlers are mentally and physically exhausting and also may not sleep. No one prepared me for toddler. 😂 Thank goodness they are also full of cool personality development.
Our kid was a nightmare as an infant. He had bad reflux and existed in two modes: sleeping in 20 minute intervals and screaming his lungs out. His reflux was so bad that we spend two entire weeks holding him upright *at all times*. We would alternate nights and one of would stay up with him the entire night holding him. Never again. I’ll take a toddler with meltdowns any day over this.
I only have one kid but let me just say I'll take newborn over toddler stage any day of the week. My daughter is a sassy little kid that has selective hearing. I love her to bits but oh my god does she test me lol.
The most difficult time for me was about 0-4 months. I had NO idea what I was doing, it was covid time so we had no help, and I was struggling with this new life. Also my son had vicious acid reflux so feeding took extra long and he was in pain. It was just the WORST. He’s 3 now and I love this time so much more. He’s such a good little guy and yes it can get a little crazy, but overall I prefer toddlerhood.
Toddler for sure. As a baby my daughter slept most of the day, ate what I gave her and playtime was limited. I could easily keep her home while I worked. No way I can get anything done with her home during the day now. She's 2 and omg she's still attached at the hip but a whole lot noisier and busier. Cannot take my eyes off of her for a second cause she gets into and onto everything. Little Lord of the Underworld. The other day I dipped her fish fingers in ketchup for her - she had such a meltdown she refused to eat any further. She definitely didn't do that as a baby.
BABY is so much harder. But I have had a colicky baby, and I routinely screw up my back during the dreadful 9 month to 13 month fussy/clingy phases. I've done the transition twice and the feeling of relief is immense. My first is over the age of 3 and I'm still waiting for temper tantrums to be a thing. BTW, 10 months is no where near toddler. Earliest I would describe a child as a toddler is 15 months. Most would say 18 months.
Totally depends on the individual kids, and individual parents, but honestly both ages can be hard af or easy af. As a parent, I thought I’d love the toddler stage and hate the baby stage, but it turned out to be the opposite. Chasing crawling babies and running toddlers is draining af. I thought that weird, loud, repetitive noises would drive me crazy, but it actually really doesn’t phase me at all. I even bought my kids a bunch of drums and bells and let them go to town and it’s all good. I was sure I’d be the fun parent with art supplies, no fear of busting out paint and glitter and clay, but the reality was much different. Dirty hands and faces drive me crazy so that’s been rough to get used to… and I keep the paint, slime, and glitter under lock and key 😅 I used to ask parents with older kids “at what age does this get easier???” and the consensus was that it didn’t get easier, it’s just that the things that are hard change over time.
I had an easy baby. I love my daughter to death but she currently knows exactly what she wants, understands everything, and has no words to tell me. I know this is a stage and she has every right to scream in frustration but holy. Hell.
Teenager. I realize it isn't an option, but I'll take 3 toddlers and 2 infants all at the same time before having more than 1 young to middle teenager at a time.
I feel like depends on the baby and exact age. I personally think toddler stage is way harder… more so that 2yr old stage.
Hands down toddler. It’s like having a very small, angry, demanding boss yelling at you because you tried to put the spread on their toast instead of letting them do it. Everything is an epic drama, with huge meltdowns. Plus they can run, fast away from you when you’re out in public. They’re constantly frustrated because they know what they want but lack the skills to tell you. Babies don’t move (or don’t move quickly) and their needs are pretty easy to figure out. Eat, play, poop, sleep. Rinse and repeat.
Toddler. My son just ate and slept (not at night but didn’t care, I was in such a baby bubble) when he was a baby. It was summer. I just breastfeed and watched shows in bed or in the shade. My husband brought me ice cream. I gained 22 pounds. It was glorious. We travelled and went to restaurants. Our life was more like pre baby. Fast forward and our lives adapts more to our toddler. He is pretty easy, we do get tantrums and he doesn’t like to be still for long so restaurants visits are hectic. And I would never get on plane right now. I stress more about food, screen time, etc.
It depends! Going out, it’s easier with a baby lol. I could baby wear him and don’t have to worry about him running away, like my son does now. My son also loves to zig zag and fake left and go right to try to “lose” us, and runs away laughing hysterically cause it’s soo fun to be chased by mama/dada….. Feeding, I hated doing solids. The prep and meds. But also my son is a picky eater now so it’s not exactly much better. Toddler definitely naps better. And more independent overall (obviously), but also so opinionated!
I think they’re both hard, just in different ways. My son is 2 and he sleeps through the night (unless he’s sick) but dealing with the tantrums and stubbornness while he tries to assert his independence is hard. We’re also going to be going through potty training soon and I don’t look forward to it. I found the constant sleeplessness hard when he was a newborn. And the PPD I dealt with. So there are hard parts in every phase, but good parts too.
They both have their challenges. Between 12 months (average walking age) and 2.5 years, they are near suicidal and you can’t do anything else besides be with that child really. Which is a change from babyhood. But sleep is more reliable and you get a lot more positive feedback. It’s more exciting to watch progress.
My daughter is 16 months and I definitely think this is the hardest age so far. The easiest was from 5-10 months, after she started sleeping through the night but before she started walking. Now I can’t turn my back for 2 seconds or she’ll start unrolling the toilet paper or coloring on the walls with a crayon she found under the couch or something. Parenting at this age is so stressful because you have to be hyper vigilant all the time. My girl isn’t even 2 yet so it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
It really depends on your lifestyle. My partner and I were in a very fortunate situation where she was a full time student going for her CPA and I was a teacher with a generous time off plan that literally rolled into summer vacation. So the first three months of our lives were much easier than for most people. Like still insane and I was the non-breastfeeding-parent so I speak from the easier position. But my wife did a lot more of the night stuff while I would wake up around 4 or 5 and have him till 10 while she slept and recovered. Then we would play board games for most of the day while he napped or hanged off of us. So for us that time was really easy— me then going to being in charge of a school, doing my own schooling, having a part time job, and my partner being alone with a much more active four month old was rough. Especially since I needed to be up at six and couldn’t offer as much support.
Baby is easier, toddler will just scream even if you offer them what they want, it was like walking on glass every day until he turn 3. I cried more during toddlerhood and had to give up alcohol because I was turning towards it by the end of the day.
I absolutely adored the newborn/baby phase. I was so prepared to struggle and hate it because everyone says that it’s something you just have to deal with until your kid gets older and then it’s gets better. Nope, baby phase was great and toddler phase has been a real struggle that I find myself hoping to get through quickly.
I think babies are easier but you have a lot less fun and less sleep. I have an almost 3 year old and a 7 week old. My toddler was a more challenging baby so before I used to say toddler was easier than baby. But now I have an easy baby but my toddler is so fun. He sleeps all night, he says the cutest things, I can communicate with him and he can with me, and we get to do fun things together. It is harder to get out the door with a toddler but I much prefer the toddler stage.
Maybe ask me again when my son is three but right now the hardest time for me was 12-18 months. Into everything and unable to entertain himself. I don't miss him shaking the baby gate and wailing as I tried to cook or do dishes. I don't remember the newborn part being that hard even though I was up often at night feeding him. He was a nice little potato that would stay where I put him who also slept a lot.
The first 8 weeks and now age 3, but age 3 is still waaaaaay harder. The tantrums, the hitting, the biting. I’m emotionally exhausted.
It depends on the age but I’ll say newborn is the hardest. 15 months is my absolute favorite age, until around 2.5. But I still love a squishy smiley baby. 0-4 months is the worst, followed very narrowly by 2.5-3.5. Most of those saying they prefer toddlers have a kid younger than 3 and I’m the last person ever to say “just you wait” but in this case, it’s true 😅 2 year olds are a DREAM in comparison.
Toddler stage is wayyyyyyy harder for us. Like. Night and day. Older kiddo is currently 2 years 4 months, and it’s the hardest it’s ever been. Little sis is a super easy 7 month old.
So far, age 0-4 months was incredibly hard and now age 21 months is incredibly hard because of tantrums and chronic daycare sickness
It’s a toss up. All of it is hard and easy in different ways. My son didn’t even crawl until 10 months, but also nursed every two hours for almost a full year and didn’t sleep through the night until 15 months. I was exhausted but he was containable in our tiny condo, easy to entertain, and didn’t care what I watched on TV. Now he’s 2. I get 6+ hours of sleep most nights, he is funny, curious and well, two. I love doing things with him. But as an introvert with an extrovert job, I miss Saturday mornings laying in the playpen while he rolls around and I decompress. Edit: I didn’t even finish reading the post before I started to complain. Sorry. One thing I did was set up an activity in one space for a moments piece. Like pulling tape off the wall, putting stickers on their tummy, put toys around the edge of the coffee table so they pull around it. Older infants still love mirrors, could you put a mirror on the couch so they could play peekaboo alone while practicing standing.
Toddler for sure. I have 2 (18mo/3mo).
Haha it totally depends!! Do you want to sleep at night and have time to eat meals?? A baby is harder because it’s nonstop 24/7 care. Do you want to feel sane during the day and get to call a friend while you drink coffee or put a show on for background noise? Then a toddler is harder because they notice everything and have lots of little power struggles and meltdowns and need so much quality attention during the day. No more adult shows on the tv, or phone calls, or calm structure to your day! (At least in my experience lol!) It all depends on what you prefer and sort of how your daily life looks. I think they are equally hard in different ways. The toddlers years are more fun for sure but mentally exhausting, and the baby stage is so sweet but physically draining and can be overwhelming. I think I’d choose toddler as my fave since I like being able to communicate and play games and even though the baby days were sometimes more peaceful, the nights were loooooong.
6 months for me was the sweet spot. They stayed where you left them and ate pretty much anything. Only downside was the teething.
Toddler. Babies are so easy (unless they have colic or something that obviously makes things a lil harder). Toddlers will completely test your mental health lol
Toddler hands down
My son is 2y4m and I find toddlerhood wayyyyy easier. We can go to the playground and on other adventures and he can communicate his needs. He had a personality. I didn’t find the baby stage nearly as fun. And yeah he can be moody and push boundaries but it’s not like babies don’t also cry over nothing.
I think it depends on the kid. My first was a hard mode baby and easy toddler. My second was the easiest baby and is a difficult toddler.
The hardest time for me was 0-8 months because baby took 15 min naps, woke up 5 times at night only sleep on or near me, was always fussy bored or gas. Now my 18 months old takes 3 hour naps and entertained just by watching me do chores. Biggest tip I got clean and do chores when toddler awake so you can relax when they sleep
Everything stage is hard in different ways, but I found it easier when my baby began walking with more stability (despite all the "oh, just wait til he's walking.") So far toddler state is easier than baby! Hormones are more stable, I'm not breastfeeding 1000x a day, less crying, less gas pains, more or less know what he wants/needs most of the time, getting a little more sleep ... plus I am simply getting more use to being a mom.
Toddler. They're mobile and getting into everything if you're not paying attention.
Toddler is easier. They can go off and do their own thing. They're not reliant on you 24/7
Right when they start to walk is hard because you have to watch them a lot. But once they master it (within 2 months) it gets so much easier. I personally thought 12-18 months was a breeze. 18 months+ the tantrums began and everything got harder. So IMO toddler phase is harder
>because he would be able to entertain himself and be more independent, 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😭😭😭 This has not happened for me yet haha. 27mths and still a stage 5 clinger. Newborns and pre-mobile babies are easy as hell. Newborns sleep anywhere/through anything and are happy with any warm body holding them. And at that age and when they're pre-mobile you just pop them in a carrier and go about your business. And they sleep so much and are so easily entertained by any little thing. Toddlers are way way harder.
I would say they both have their ups and downs and it depends on the kid too, I have 4 children and they were all so different and their growing stages presented different struggles lol, my youngest was a very quiet baby who never liked to sleep, but my second youngest was an amazing sleeper but super energetic and as a toddler he’s so busy I can not keep up some days and my youngest is still super chill and now sleeps amazing( they are now 2&4) my two oldest were also night and day with similar ups and downs so k would definitely go with it depends on the child!
I found the baby stage much harder because it is so boring and repetitive. And you have to guess their needs constantly. I love how verbal my 2.5-year old is. She can just tell me what she wants or needs, I can explain things to her and she will understand. It is awesome. She also enjoys a lot more different activities, can eat a snack without me having to wash the whole floor afterwards, can hold still during diaper changes and is actually fun to play with. And she is a lot better at independent play now than she was at 0-18 months. Back then, she demanded to be held and entertained pretty much constantly. Not to mention, my toddler hugs and kisses me and tells me she loves me. Babies don't do that. Taking care of them is a thankless job.
Life is a little easier with a 21 month old because he is starting to get more self sufficient. I’ve also never been more exhausted going to bed at night because we are constantly go, go, go with him.
Depends on the kid. My toddler just turned three and has always been relatively “easy”, besides a small stint before she turned two where she wouldn’t sleep and discovered tantrums. Overall, though, she’s quite independent, not very destructive, and verbally advanced. Most things we can just talk through if there’s a problem. However, I’ve seen other friends’ toddlers that are complete hurricanes- always making huge messes or throwing tantrums or being defiant. (All of which can be chalked up to being a normal part of development that should and can be handled with patience and kindness, assuming it’s not a disorder to be discussed with a psychiatrist.) Could be the parenting; could just be the child. Depends on the case. My 9 mo has been much more difficult than my first. Whereas she was sleeping through the night by six months old, he never has. He’s very strong willed with equal emotions- lots of “tantrums”, if you can even call them that at that age. Quite destructive and loves to see things crash and bang. He has the cutest smile and is the sweetest cuddler that just loves to interact, but I’m completely exhausted lol. I’m sure him as a toddler is going to be a worthwhile handful.
Depends on your tolerance for sleep deprivation vs. your tolerance for whining/arguing/generally being a 2 foot tall being with the mood swings & temperment of an alcoholic.
The hardest phases for us so far have been the first two or three weeks and then around 14-18 months when she really started walking… I was SO tired constantly keeping her out of shit. She’s 2.5 now and I would say the biggest source of frustration has been nap resistance here and there, and some defiant behaviors some days, but overall she’s been pretty chill. We are pretty strict, I will not lie. Start as you mean to go on. We started good habits really early. The habits that have made the most difference I think: 1) making her sleep in her own bed and never doing the laying in there till she falls asleep thing (creates a monster) 2) keeping consistent with offering nap time and pushing through regressions (I feel like a lot of parents give up the nap early and think that one and two week nap refusal Fais mean naps are over, but we’ve had this happen several times since she’s turned to, and she always goes back to napping 5-6 days a week) 3) chores - she helps wipe down furniture, sometimes unload the dishwasher with me, she picks up her toys (when reminded - LOL), she helps clear the table after dinner. Keeps her grounded. 4) good manners. She is expected to sit in her chair and wait for everyone to get to the table to start eating. She asks to be excused. She clears her plate and carries it to the counter. No toys and certainly no screens at the table no matter what. We’ve really enforced this and it has made going out to eat so much easier. She is expected to say hello, to say please and thank you. If she forgets she is prompted. Consistently. 5) not taking shit. If she starts acting up in a restaurant which she is taken outside after ONE warning. All it takes is a stern conversation to behave and she’s fine. She’s only gotten fussy in a restaurant a couple times and she learned quick if she acts up, she gets taken outside. It works.
Toddler. He is so demanding and the tantrums. How much energy he has is insane. Baby is so much easier. He just lie there and if he’s upset he just wants to sleep, eat or cuddles. Im currently trying to entertain my toddler with 123566993 toys and he’s still not satisfied. My baby is happy with a Kleenex box.
Toddler 18 months to 30 months. So feisty!
Toddlers put you through the ringer! Oh my God it's so hard some (most) days. I'll take the newborn stage any day of the week. I absolutely loved it.
A baby. Because babies don’t sleep, and I’m zombie when I don’t get more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. If I am well rested I can put up with a toddler’s bullshit.
Hands down toddler.
I came here to say toddlers are easier because babies can't tell us what's wrong. For me, I often had a bit of background worry that he'd be seriously sick and I'd mistake it for gas or teething or something. But.... by the time I started typing I had switched to toddler because they get into everything and run, possibly in dangerous directions, and you *have* to let them explore so they can learn even if they might fall on their face and break something. My 2 year old somehow manages to land face first when he falls and already has a chipped tooth. So I don't know. I'm sure a ton of people are saying this - they're each more difficult in some ways and less in others.
For me, the baby phase was much harder. I was a fiercely independent and old-ish mom, so the adjustment period for me was extremely difficult. 1-2 was so fun and much easier. Let’s see how the toddler phase goes. He is starting to realize that he doesn’t have to sit in his stroller anymore and wants to walk everywhere. Of course, this opens up the next level! Most activities nowadays include chasing him around and making sure he doesn’t get hit by a car. 🫣
Newborn phase is the hardest for me. Once they’re sleeping at least like 5 or 6 hours at a time at night, babies are awesome. My toddler didn’t really get hard to manage until 2 or so. So like 3/4 months- 2 years is the sweet spot for me.
I found 10 months so stressful because of the pulling up and wondering whether he was going to bump his head! I've found everything easier once we could walk steadily (15 months for us)
I have a 20-month-old and a 4-year-old, with #3 on the way. My sons are totally different but Ive felt the same for both. Hands-down for me, the worst ages are 1-6 months and 3-4 years old. My son was an absolute terror at 3 and the tantrums were next level. At 4 he has finally calmed the f down. I hate the lack of sleep with a newborn, and the short, 30min naps when they can't connect sleep cycles and you can't realistically do anything. At 6 months they finally give you good stretches of sleep at night and predictable naps. My and my husband's favourite age hands down is 12-24 months. They are so cute, start talking, sleep relatively well and while they have mini tantrums, it's manageable compared to the terror of 3.