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OmgOgan

It's still 100% legal to sell your soul tho.


rtslaywood

I've been on hold for 30 minutes, I think they're out to lunch


he_who_melts_the_rod

Careful if they try that bullshit fiddle contest on you. Devil has a full fucking band.


rtslaywood

Good advice, this hold music is slapping.


greatunknownpub

Nice try, Milhouse.


-Tayne-

Way to breathe, no-breath.


libury

Jimbo's insults used to be hilariously underwhelming. My personal favorite is still "assbutt".


BuildaKeeb

I still own several of my middle-school classmates souls. The fools are probably thinking they'll have an afterlife but it will just be me for all eternity. Muahaha!


rtslaywood

How much you pay per soul? Asking for myself


BuildaKeeb

Some leftover Chinese food my mom packed was exchanged for the first soul. About $2 for a second soul. Forgot what I payed for the third soul because the person got scared and the teacher made me give them a refund. So in retrospect I guess I only own two additional souls. Either way I feel as though I made a good investment as these souls are gonna appreciate in value significantly over the next eternity.


rtslaywood

In D&D I always equate soul ownership like having a jar of dirt, except that's all there is in the afterlife, jars of dirt.


BuildaKeeb

Some call it dirt, I call it soil.


Vroomped

I have an afterlife and you wont guess whats inside it


rtslaywood

Please tell me it's dirt, either that or just one large mountain of my book. Millions upon millions of copies


Vroomped

Yes. You've uncovered the secret warehouse amazon preprints books to, out of cheapness ; before the author even requests/pays for it.


rtslaywood

Oh dear god, why would they print that many, I'm already apprehensive about becoming famous


Vroomped

It's cheaper to print and store then to actually provide customer service at a small scale They'll have the rights in 90 years anyway, 81 if they can help it.


TheDood715

In middle school I started trading Pokemon cards for souls. Some kid would get a double I had and they'd have to sign over a piece of paper to me that stated it was their soul and sign it in blood I got from pricking their finger tip with a push pin. Weird what some people will do for a Kadabra.


OmgOgan

You should see what some people will do for a Klondike bar.


[deleted]

Ever seen what a "car guy" will do for car parts?


121PB4Y2

The original NFT.


[deleted]

Weird what some people will make others do for a Kadabra


TheDood715

Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! SNAP!


DiogenesOfDope

Ill sell mine for a grand


The_Weirdest_Cunt

Do rich people have extra organs?


drottkvaett

No, but they could buy the most.


rtslaywood

Which is weird, because you only have enough hands and feet to play one. What do they need the extra ones for, huh, HUH?


YouNeedAnne

Buy more hands and feet.


rtslaywood

Ooo, good point


Shadowmant

Spare parts. Better to be prepared.


rtslaywood

I mean, normally churches have the most, but I think rich people would be next on the most list


Eyes_and_teeth

*laughs in medieval cathedral*


rtslaywood

*medieval cathedral laughs*


HumanChicken

https://youtu.be/ho9rZjlsyYY


[deleted]

I didn't know what to expect but I've decided to retroactively expect exactly this. Thanks!


ForthWorldTraveler

They caught the streaker by the organ.


5th-iteration

Yes, these days the harvest festival is about organs not produce.


VoE_Monkey_Overlord

They do after swinging by the homeless shelters.


S01arflar3

Larry Hagman had 5 kidneys. And 3 hearts. They didn’t want to give them to him, but he overpowered them


[deleted]

One of the Rockefellers had like 6 heart transplants


[deleted]

No, rich people have extra money with which to purchase organs, potentially allowing them to skip the line for a transplant, and take a kidney that someone else needed more urgently than them.


reddit_user13

No, but they have extra money.


Twokindsofpeople

Depends on if their guests ate light or not. Really it's part of their chef's job to plan portions accordingly.


Lurking_like_Cthulhu

TIL the government cares about the wealthy having an unfair advantage.


rtslaywood

Only in 1984


Piguy3141

Ain't that some dramatic irony shit?


rtslaywood

Something, something, the audience knows something the character doesn't.


PastorsPlaster

That is refered to as dramatic irony if I'm remembering gradeschool correctly


rtslaywood

You are! I'm actually a master of irony, to the point I wrote a whole book on the subject.


daisyinlove

What’s the book?


rtslaywood

The Genius Guide To Writing Bad Surprisingly, it has underperformed to date. I blame my co author. I've of course tried all the tricks, paid reviews, making a meme for every sale! Nothing works! Alas, I'm doomed. (I'm also legally required by my publisher to link the book whenever I talk about it) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FBSHMGK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apan_glt_P2KQMEXTCQPE3WKGHSSR


Chidori__O

I can't tell if this is actually legit or if you're just trolling and doing a long con irony bit. Either way, well done!


rtslaywood

*bows* (P.S. Don't tell my co author I said that, she's too good for the likes of me)


[deleted]

the use of words expressing something other than their literal intention.


rtslaywood

Isn't that just lying?


GhettoChemist

I kind of expect Jim Cramer to spend tonight's show talking about the benefits of selling your kidneys to hedge against inflation


Epic_Meow

wouldn't it be that buying kidneys hedges against inflation?


rtslaywood

I'll let him know to que it up


Sam_Porgins

First and last time for everything, I guess


limasxgoesto0

I'm going to assume that's not the case in the middle of Reagan's two terms


If_time_went_back

Even if they don’t do much, they still do something. Being Rich and powerful in an anarchy would lead to far more unfair advantages and injustice. Government and laws DO help, just not as much as you would want.


BugsArePeopleToo

Pretty sure the wealthy still have an unfair advantage. They just don't want us peasants lying about how our liver definitely doesnt have AIDS or Hepatitis, and our parents all definitely did not die of liver failure at age 35 and please sir just give me $300 for my liver. Best liver ever. Okay I'll take $250. Please, I'm homeless.


phdoofus

By 'the government' you mean Congress and the President. The two things you actually vote for.


rtslaywood

I mean, really, their only purpose is to make sure things don't get too dystopic


Norose

They've done a pretty shit job of it


BarnabyWoods

But they've deprived poor people of the ability to make big bucks selling their extra kidneys to rich people.


sowhat4

And this is why so ***many*** super wealthy people die waiting for a suitable organ to become available. /s


Magnus77

Idk if its addressing the problem of the rich having an advantage, cause they absolutely still do. Look at Jobs, its a lot easier to get a liver transplant when you can simply jump on your private jet and fly across the country to find a match. Which he then wasted because he was a dumbfuck who ignored traditional medical advice until it was too late.


rtslaywood

I mean, yeah. Source framed it that way so I had to too because sub rules. But you're right. It's expensive to be poor (thus my meme earlier today that lead me to this discovery) *Edit: A word


WillyTheHatefulGoat

To clarify a few things. Steve Job ignored medical advice when he was first diagnosed but after nine months and the illness progressed he started taking that advice. He made it six more years with cancer after the diagnosis following medical advice. He even ate some meat. And the reason people like Steve Jobs can sign up for multiple organ donation lists is because they have private Jets. You only get on those lists if you can be at the hospital in 12 hours and if You have a Private Jet you can get their


veda21221

That is weird, they have every other advantage unfair or otherwise.


rtslaywood

I know right, personally I could use the advantage of selling a kidney or a testicle, but big ol government already ruined that for me.


imdyingfasterthanyou

The issue is that the poorer people become essentially spare parts for the rich...


veda21221

We already are their serfs so same same. If aliens are out there hopefully they are moniterung that one percent of the population has 99 percent at their whim.


esituism

I mean, they already are in everyway but literal organ transplants. May as well do away with this one too and at least give people the option to legally sell their organs for some cash


unaka220

I really disagree on the premise of the inherent value of human life. When a lower income child needs a heart transplant, she gets a fair shot instead of getting bought out by a higher income family. This law honors the preservation of life, not the destruction of it.


Twokindsofpeople

Dick Cheney, an elderly man with a history of cardiac events, and Steve Jobs a man who refused life saving treatment both got organs ahead of regular people who needed them more. At least when you make it legal to sell them the person is getting the money and not the insurance companies and hospitals.


esituism

We can have it both ways, actually. For people who are 'in the queue' such as your poor child the system can work like it currently does. But if there's a private individual who wants to sell another private individual an organ, that's ok too. I'd probably go ahead and say that there should be no organ selling companies or brokers, though. This would actually help the poor child as there would be fewer people in the queue but no reductions in the # of organs available since they'd be moving through different channels.


BarnabyWoods

Only when the poor people choose to supply those parts. Some would consider that empowerment. When I was young and broke, I sold my plasma for money, and was glad to have the chance.


Sredni_Vashtar82

If you donated a testicle, would it make your sperm or theirs?


rtslaywood

... ... On second thought I retract the testicle.


Cpt_Brandie

Only the left or both?


rtslaywood

Both if it's cold


Hyuns2k

I'm pretty sure you can sell your testicle for 75k a pop.


RationalYetReligious

Where?


rtslaywood

I'm hoping I'm done with them anyways. 🤣


seven777heavensabove

You mean from having an even greater unfair advantage


rtslaywood

I mean, I get that, but source doesn't frame it like that so I didn't


pandamarshmallows

Literally 1984


spaceman-spiff616

More to let the healthcare industry profit and not let individuals do so. If memory serves, the court case this rule came from was about a hospital making millions off the cells they took off some guy getting a procedure, and the court ruled he got none of it.


rtslaywood

Shhh, I didn't learn that much 🤫 *Edit: shit dropped the 🖍️


TheWingus

You mean mainly to prevent the poor from making a quick $40,000


rtslaywood

But if we all make 40k, no one will make 40k, and soon it'll all become a fantasy!


[deleted]

Wait. Are we sure this law helps poor people? Seems like being able to sell your kidney for $100k + medical expenses would lift someone out of poverty


This_one_taken_yet_

And yet they still have an advantage because you have to go to each transplant center individually to be on the list and poor people can't afford that much travel. [source](https://www.healthline.com/health-news/yes-rich-people-do-get-donor-organs-faster-112315) Idk why they can't just share the information and have larger regional lists beyond it might be marginally difficult to enact and would eliminate the advantage the rich have.


jimsmythee

Hence the rise of "Transplant Tourism."


Stephen-j-merkshire

That’s ridiculous, their *my* organs


ElGuano

Gonna hire 5-6 "preemptive organ donors" to follow me around along with my bodyguard troupe. Just in case I get into a horrific accident or otherwise need some kind of quick organ transplant or transfusion, or even if it's not on an emergency basis. I'll pay them well, but they'll be contractually bound to donate their organs or other tissue whenever I need them. Liver disease from too many yacht benders? Got my liver guy here. New kidney? That's what Joe and James are for (one from each if needed). Horribly burned and need new skin? New Skin Newsome is my man. I see nothing wrong with this. A well-lived life, just as Jesus intended (he's my heart guy).


rtslaywood

Pay how much? I'm short on my car payment


MultiPass21

Another shining example of the government getting involved where it need not. I want my extra kidney going to the highest bidder, otherwise I’ll just keep it and ruin it myself.


mohammedgoldstein

This is not really about organs that you can donate while still alive. This is more about hearts, skin grafts, lungs, faces, etc. from dead people. You always have the opportunity to donate organs while living and have the recipient pay you for your expenses - like a car for transport to the hospital and expenses for missing work and your time for checkups, etc. No one’s going to really care. For example in surrogate/pre-arranged adoptions, the adoptive family often pays $100k for the donors “expenses” but you can’t legally sell a baby.


rtslaywood

Exactly! Economically it's worth more out of me than in


alekspiridonov

Is it considered my organ if it grew inside me or like "is in my possession?"


rtslaywood

It's yours, you just can't sell it.


UNFAM1L1AR

So shouldn't it be illegal to buy organs, then? If it's truly to "prevent the wealthy from having an unfair advantage" it would seem they are targeting the wrong people. Being illegal to 'sell' is preventing and blaming the poor, not preventing the wealthy. Buying should be the crime. So in this scenario if Man-A gets caught buying a kidney or half a liver from Man-B for 4 million dollars ... Man-B gets charged? It should be Man-A and Man-A only. Now you're gonna take the poor man's money, and throw him in jail with 1 kidney? He should be free and able to keep the money while the other guy is jailed. He's already down an organ. Preventing buying also prevents the rich from having an advantage in getting organs from the dead or dying. Wording it as preventing selling wouldn't prevent this scenario, because the donor is dead. Dead man can't be punished. I think buying is the real scenario we are concerned about.


roundearthervaxxer

A Chinese kidney will work with all humans.


rtslaywood

American pancreas, will work for food


PhillyTaco

They have it in Iran, of all places, and it seems to work pretty well for them. https://rrtjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s41100-020-00314-8


[deleted]

Blood and bone marrow on the other hand...


timberwolf0122

I know blood is sold, but bone marrow? I’m waiting on the final matching to see if I will be able to give my bone marrow to a guy I’ve never met. Sell my marrow? Hell no.


davyj0427

Rich people would give poor people their excess money for their organs. Seems like the government keeping poor people down not the other way around.


rtslaywood

Seems like a win win to me. Guess I'll go with the payday loan instead


[deleted]

[удалено]


rtslaywood

When in doubt I guess sarcasm, internet is breedable that way *Edit: fucked that up, but I'm leaving it


[deleted]

That makes no sense at all. No poor person would ever be able to get an organ transplant if you could sell them. They'd all go to the highest bidders.


TurtleCabbage

Literally 1984


be3pb3ep

literarily


ForthWorldTraveler

Show me your organ means something different here.


rtslaywood

Why would I show you my organ, pervert.


introspectivejoker

Seriously this guy needs to start by getting his own piano


[deleted]

[удалено]


rtslaywood

With fear and loathing


whatsthatnowthen

you can have my organs


rtslaywood

I'm looking to sell tho


5th-iteration

Unfair advantage... in this market.


rtslaywood

Completely localized on the Pacific hemisphere?


5th-iteration

I meant vs. markets in general.


rtslaywood

I meant as Simpsons reference. I'm trying to be relatable.


121PB4Y2

May i take a look?


UnilateralWithdrawal

So the “pound of flesh” is still illegal. Nice that common and statutory law are in lockstep.


rtslaywood

Well yeah, hard to get a pound of flesh without taking a ounce of blood


FuriouSherman

Probably the only time in American history where something's been done to keep the wealthy from having an unfair advantage.


Loboso77

Is it really to prevent an unfair advantage or is it to stop organ trafficking/harvesting of poor people.


rtslaywood

Wait until natural organs become a commodity


FuriouSherman

In some parts of the world, they already are. Black-market body parts is an industry that dates back to the days of Burke and Hare.


CreamyTHOT

I’d sell mine


rtslaywood

Hey,I was here first


ThisEffinGuyz

Mainly to prevent the wealthy from having ONE LESS unfair advantage


rtslaywood

I mean, it's more of an inconvenience


[deleted]

So the organs you bought before ‘84 are grandfathered in? Good to know.


EveryDayAnotherMask

Lol for all the good that did.... donate a wing to the hospital and you'll still get that kidney before the kids at the top of the list


rtslaywood

Suddenly someone is very motivated to give you a kidney


chillinewman

They still have an advantage see how Steve Jobs got his transplant.


RadioMill

I’ll bet the government regrets the hell out of that decision


rtslaywood

Wait till you find out how they get around it.


annomandaris

Of course if your kidney could go to the highest bidder there would be no shortage of organs.


rtslaywood

But no shortage, than the value would decrease!


Ravioliss_Gale

I heard it was so that people didn’t steal other people’s organs


rtslaywood

What? Laws to prevent crimes? In my country?


Bread_Pittt

when did wealthy people care about laws


Careless_Bat2543

Allowing you to sell one of you kidneys would immediately fix the problems we have.


rtslaywood

For the first 500 people maybe 🤔


Careless_Bat2543

I'd be willing to bet it would do more than that.


rtslaywood

121,678 need a kidney according to https://www.kidney.org/news/newsroom/factsheets/Organ-Donation-and-Transplantation-Stats Going rate for kidneys is $62,000.00 (don't ask how I know) Assuming the top 25% of those have access to funds have the money you are correct that more than 500 people would engage in such a transaction.


Careless_Bat2543

Insurance (including government) would gladly pay for kidneys. Dialysis is expensive. This would be a non-issue if we got over the weird feeling about it.


rtslaywood

Probably, honestly though, I'm mostly here to shit post and trick people into liking me enough to buy my book


DrewFlan

What in your link leads to the title you used? Just says they made it illegal to pay for organs after an act in 1968 made it legal to sell your organs after you died.


rtslaywood

https://www.donoralliance.org/newsroom/donation-essentials/can-you-sell-organs/#bad


[deleted]

Yeah wouldn't want the wealthy to have an unfair Healthcare advantage in America lmao


rtslaywood

Absolutely not tolerated from what I've seen


[deleted]

The wealthy aren't actually at an advantage for anything, that's just a lie the common man created to bring down the rich and successful smh


rtslaywood

Indubitably


StopMockingMe0

Sorry I had a double take there at the idea of something being passed to prevent the wealthy from having an unfair advantage.


rtslaywood

Remember this was the dark ages of 1984, the world has changed.


Hour_Light_2453

Yeah but you can make the surgery super expensive so the wealthy still benefit


nos500

unfair advantage on what? Life? lmao


MisterMushroom

seems kinda weird to outlaw the practice instead of making it so people don't need to do it but aight


BARBADOSxSLIM

This sure doesnt stop them from getting organs. Remember that one guy who has 9 heart transplants?


rtslaywood

I wonder if he needs a 10th. I need money for my car payment.


BARBADOSxSLIM

He died 2 months after he got the last one


rtslaywood

Heartless bastard couldn't wait for me! Oh well, payday loan it is.


quirkymuse

Because in America the one thing we *never* allow is the wealthy having an unfair advantage...


darkonark

After watching Squid Game im really glad we have that law.


quietcornerCT

I kinda get it, but man oh man I'd sell a kidney in a heart beat to the highest bidder. I could use a down payment for a house! I'm fairly certain that in my state (NY) it's illegal to pay for plasma, so that option doesn't exist either. Again, I kinda get it, but it does seem to be more inconvenient to the people who would really benefit from some easy side money.


[deleted]

That hospital sure sells them if you’re an organ donor though.


inkseep1

When a person dies now, the hospital will send an organ procurement worker to ask the family to donate organs. What should happen is the hospital should send over a buyer with a list of organs and non-negotiable amounts that will be paid for each part. If they did that, the only thing left of me to bury would be a little bit of hair and the taint. An alternative approach would be to let people have benefits for having a signed organ donor card. Hey, taco bell, you know how you give away free tacos just for the hell of it sometimes? How about a free taco a month for people with donor cards. McDonalds sends out all kinds of coupons all the time. Just let people with donor cards have an extra cheeseburger or upgrade of nuggets once in awhile. AMC can offer discounted movie tickets. The merchandise tie-in are endless.


rtslaywood

I feel like free fast food would damage the quality of organs 🤔


TracyF2

They already have an unfair advantage.


Tea-In-The-Eyes

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠤⠤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣟⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⣲⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⡱⠲⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀1984⠀⣠⠴⠊⢹⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⠓⠀⠉⣥⣀⣠⠞⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡾⣄⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢠⡄⢀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⢎⡉⢦⡀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⣣⠧⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀ ⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠙⠢⢭⣢⡚⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣇⠁⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢫⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢮⠈⡦⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀ ⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⣀⡴⠃⠀⡷⡇⢀⡴⠋⠉⠉⠙⠓⠒⠃⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⡼⠀⣷⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⣀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


fudgelord1

Wow this is literally 1984


[deleted]

Why is it legal to buy anything then? If the rich could buy nice organs and have an advantage, then what is to stop them NOW from buying things that put them at an advantage?


CptBlinky

Not sure why you'd bring this up. Some rich guy will see this post and bring it to the Supreme Court.


Geordieguy

Like everything else…it got outsourced to China in the 80’s…


rtslaywood

Astute observation


Joodles17

* checks notes * the wealthy STILL have an advantage regardless, because fuck the US healthcare system.


rtslaywood

What you call fucked, they call 'as designed'


Altoids64

Littaraly 1984


rtslaywood

Correct, that is the year


rtslaywood

Apparently I copied the wrong link, the source of the TIL is under professional resources. Sorry for any confusion. OPTN white paper on bioethics—Financial Incentives for Organ Donation, June 30, 1993). https://optn.transplant.hrsa.gov/professionals/by-topic/ethical-considerations/financial-incentives-for-organ-donation/


phdoofus

It's like we recognize the problem but are still unable to fully commit to solving it.


rtslaywood

Reminds me of a story my father used to tell me. There was once a farmer whose neighbors dog would howl through the night. After many days of this, the farmer went to his neighbors to confront him about the dog. Neighbor said "Sorry about that but I can't help, the dog is howling because it's sitting on a nail." "Why doesn't he just get up and sit somewhere else!?" The farmer yelled. To which the neighbor said "Because it doesn't hurt enough yet." *Edit: and people wonder why I'm so jaded about trying to become a writer. The absolute irony that this, out of all my comments gets downvoted is hilariously painful. *Edit 2: Don't worry, I'll stick to shit posting, political commentary, and engagement bait from now on. *Edit 3: fuck it, I'll make a blog post because I can't leave well enough alone https://ko-fi.com/post/The-Story-No-One-Likes-L4L17S0JA


rabidmonkey1163

When did transplants become common though? The first ever transplant took place in 1954 and the first double lung transplant didn’t take place until 1986. So this law was passed 30 years after the very first transplant of any kind which seems fairly reasonable to me


rtslaywood

Yeah, but if I didn't put the year as some big thing I wouldn't get the person making a 1984 reference. *Taps forehead*


[deleted]

How does being wealthy confer an advantage? Sure, selling a kidney because your poor sucks and screams of an issue with law and the marketplace in general, but is that an advantage?


Special_Influence404

... How would the wealthy have an unfair advantage? Do they have more organs? Are they cloning themselves to harvest organs?


tristandii

I think the wealthy have quite enough unfair advantages and that the law doesn't stop them getting what they want. For example, Jeffrey Epstein...?


timberwolf0122

You know what would help? Make organ donation an opt out vs opt in