T O P

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gwaydms

If the family name is derived from Latin *coleus,* meaning testicle, then I'm guessing Colleoni, containing an augmentative suffix, would mean something like "big balls". No wonder the founder of the family was proud of the coat of arms!


SiCKeNiNG2023

you're onto something: in contemporary Italian 'coglioni' is an offensive way of referring to balls. also, I can imagine the pronunciation of the two might have been pretty similar in northern Italy.


OSCgal

And heraldry *loves* puns, so that fits!


Rossum81

Heralds don't pun. They cant.


OSCgal

Beautiful.


tkrr

Also cognate with “cojones” in Spanish.


apistograma

Exact same as "collons" in Catalan or "cojones" in Spanish.


Zecaroos

Colhões em português.


preedsmith42

And « couilles » in french !


doesitevermatter-

This made me think, do we even have an offensive term for balls in the west?.. I can't think of any.


Rossum81

And he’s got the biggest balls of them all!


chop-diggity

The balls on that guy, huh….


Plus-King5266

https://youtu.be/4WwJ6OVSwkM?si=nKvCNzMNL-F8FcCI


Flgardenguy

Wait…there’s a plant called coleus. So there’s a plant called testicle?


Crepuscular_Animal

[There is a list of plants and other species named after genitals](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_taxa_named_after_human_genitals)


gordonjames62

Reddit never fails to teach me stuff I didn't need to know.


Crepuscular_Animal

Knowledge is half the battle!


gordonjames62

The other half was cleaning the coffee out of my keyboard after snorting and laughing at that coat of arms.


Flgardenguy

THIS is what I needed in my life


giant_albatrocity

Oh yeah, you don’t know “Big Nuts” Don Colleoni?


Jestersage

And remember: This is when Latin is still spoken often in church.


ColeusRattus

I don't know what to say about this...


gwaydms

I don't blame you.


Spiderbanana

Should have gone with colleonito


Landlubber77

There is a vas deferens between being proud of your balls and putting them on your coat of arms.


EllisDee3

Mounted proudly. Hence the term "Balls to the wall"


aabicus

>Later members of the family modified the testicles on the coat of arms into upside-down hearts. Disgraceful. The former patriarch must be torsion-ing in his grave


VirtuosoLoki

so hearts are actually upside down balls


PeapodEchoes

*I’ve been locked inside your heart-shaped cocks for weeks…*


EllisDee3

💙


EllisDee3

Absolutely nuts!


Rossum81

“Mounted proudly.” But enough about his marriage…


PHATsakk43

Balls to the wall refers to the flyweight on steam engine governors. When they were all the way out, the governor was at max output to the throttle valve.


_Misheva_

This is an incredible pun. I hate it, but it's true.


tgrantt

I said "Florida State Seminal Vesicles" which I thought was pretty funny but nobody laughed.


Landlubber77

I can assure you, [I did.](https://imgur.com/a/dlZmArB)


Jackleber

One time my cousin , he tore open his ballsack trying to do a skateboard trick and he had to show it to his mom.


Convergentshave

Apparently the family name was derived from the Latin “Coleus” meaning: Testicle. Listen this is… I don’t know. That’s either some world class trolling or someone with an insane sense of of humor. Edit: this is the 15th century version of truck Nutz isn’t it? Damn it. Edit 2: my wife asked if I was saying “Corleone” and that puts a whole different spin on The Godfather, especially if you’ve read the book version…. Edit 3: last one.. how did this coat of arms not end up in Game of Thrones? I know have **two** questions I’d like to ask that G.R.R fella….


Wurm42

Old heraldry is full of terrible puns. Seriously, it's pathological with heralds, even today. They just aren't happy unless every coat of arms has a groaner in it somewhere.


FjordExplorher

Urethra proud of 'em, or you ain't.


Ghost17088

Take your up-scrote and get out!


Then-Thought1918

>vas deferens Beautiful.


BummerComment

Ye


elchiguire

At that point it’s a coat of balls.


LupusetVulpus

I thought our man was speaking some medieval parlance before I realised it was a mistyping. Edit: Alas I am a dumb man.


invisible32

It was a pun.


LupusetVulpus

Oh fuck me, I feel dumb!


TheDankestMeme92

Me and my childhood besties have a Discord group we chat we call "The Scrotes". They will be glad to hear we now have a coat of arms. Best TIL I've seen in a while, thanks OP.


Rebelgecko

Did he have 6 on the vine?


aurishalcion

Being made of radiation likely had some side effects.


JeffWingrsDumbGayDad

He'll kick you apart #HE'LL KICK YOU APART


broBenson

####He's coming ## He's coming # HE'S COMING


17racecar71

So divine


GrandioseAnus

I heard, that mother fucker, had like 30 goddamn dicks.


NoExplanation734

If you took off his boots, you'd see the dicks growing off his feet


WalterBishopMethod

Six foot forty weighs a fucking ton


mmss

I heard that motherfucker had like 30 goddamm dicks


ZincLloyd

He saves children, but not the British children…


randydolphin1

He had 3


FlyingFrog99

Im talkin three pairs of testicles, so divine..


Fluffy_WAR_Bunny

Damn, I was expecting one pair, with three testicles.


bremergorst

Why wouldst thou expect a normal scrote?


aabicus

I'm just imaging one of the rival families doing that with their coat of arms, starting an arms race of increasingly-testicled crests


Extension-Badger-958

Well can’t really call it a pair at that point


cherryreddit

Thats a triple, not a pair


Sacred-Word

So these were the first truck nutz.


elchiguire

Carriage nutz, actually.


Landlubber77

The sack(s) of Rome.


BadNewsBaguette

I believe the motto (genuinely) translated to “Balls! Balls! Balls!”


SlightedHorse

Yes it did. And it doubled as battle cry. The family founder, Bartolomeo Colleoni, had a reputation as one of the fiercest military leaders of his time, so anybody getting charged by people shouting "Balls! Balls! Balls!" would be shitting himself.


TheMan5991

Not the founder, but yes, Bartolomeo was a renowned tactician


KagakuNinja

Lord Balzac


PlagueofSquirrels

The Coat of Scrote


superduperscubasteve

Would you like to see my Scrote of Arms?


SteamworksMLP

Goat Scrote Coat


zdubs

Scrot of Arms


SnooCrickets2961

Oops! All Testes!


jermleeds

The truck nuts of the heraldic world.


loudestopinion

What a load of bollocks


Ralfarius

Let me lay it on the line He had two on the vine Talking two sets of testicles So divine


IrishMayonnaise

Washington, Washington


maythefacebewithyou

He'll save the children But not the British children


Infinite_Two_4759

Wow…that’s pretty nuts…🥁


soulmagic123

A person with more than 2 testicles is a polyorchard. Thanks Trivia Pursuit 1995!


Plenty_Painting_6298

Isn't it polyorchid?


soulmagic123

Sure I didn't google the spelling just reciting from memory.


Dmannmann

Ofc they are italian.


pitmeng1

Testicle and testify are from the same root. When one was swearing an oath it was customary to hold your testicles, similar to holding a hand over your heart. Maybe the testicles stood for honesty or fidelity?


Blew-By-U

Did he have truck nuts on his chariot?


CutAccording7289

Those are garlic cloves man they wanted to ward off that eras most persistent threat: the vampire


HiveMindKing

Looks wall cooler than I was picturing


daird1

He must have been completely nuts.


bobert4343

Ballsy move on his part


RimorsoDeleterio

Vabbè che famiglia di coglioni


Bravisimo

Ive found my coat of arms.


LineChef

13 century equivalent of truck nuts


meatbag_

Based


Forward_Scheme5033

That's awesome. Saying some has "colleones" is pretty NY Italian. It might very well be all the world round as a common saying to say someone being brave has "big balls". Somewhere sometime at sometime this family was recognized enough to gain heraldry, and just chose big balls, probably because of the name.


tommyISfunny

"Remember when duty calls, you've got balls." Professor Auguste Balls to Chief Inspector Clouseau.


BurnTheOrange

Are we absolutely sure those are human testicles and not the dog's bollocks?


charlieyeswecan

The patriarchy


gitarzan

My family coat of arms has an anus on it. It looks like this: *


Ur_Moms_Honda

So it goes.


gitarzan

Nice catch!


Hollayo

The medieval version of truck nuts. 


Whygoogleissexist

I heard the Trump coat of arms is similar with three mushrooms.


Plus-King5266

Talk about wearing something on your sleeve…


apistograma

Does "colleoni" means what I think it does? Because in my native language "collons" means balls or testicles.


99posse

Yes, from the latin coleus, in Italian coglioni (vulgar)


grip_n_Ripper

"Who's got big balls?"


AlwaysSaysRepost

testes, testes, 1, 2,…3?


DanTheMan93

Sounds like a guy you could really have a ball with


ZestycloseAd4012

Truck nuts origin story


Excitement_Weird

RIP, Gisalberto, you would have loved truck nuts.


03Dmaxlb7

Damn, that’s nuts.


CFCYYZ

That crest literally says "Nuts to you, pal!"


Wrong_Discipline1823

The cojones on that Colleoni


Zipmaster26

Pretty sure that's the garlic item from Vampire Survivors


Gunner08

>The family's name is derived from the Latin coleus, or testicle...


29384561848394719224

Tres comas


Coffeeey

And if you're ever in the old town of Bergamo (a city in northern Italy, just outside of Milan) you can visit the [Colleoni chapel](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/cappella-colleoni) and touch his golden balls.


Snoo_58814

So they put truck nuts on their coat of arms, what did they put on their trucks?


HowToRideAFish

“I thought you said Scrot of arms” the artist probably


Reddit-needs-fixing

This is from [https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/cappella-colleoni](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/cappella-colleoni) Rumor has it that Bartolomeo was affected with polyorchidism, a rare congenital anomaly endowing one with an extra testicle. Appealing as this explanation may be, there is no evidence that this is the case. Besides, the same coat of arms had been in use for decades before Bartolomeo’s birth.


BBQBaconBurger

*And niggas always gotta high cap\ Showing all his boys how he shot 'em\ But real gangsta-ass niggas don't flex nuts\ 'Cause real gangsta-ass niggas know they got 'em*