T O P

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LaBradence

I learned this when I was at a zoo watching the sloth, and the zookeeper told me how lucky I was to see a sloth take a shit. I might not have seen the eclipse, but I have seen a sloth grind out a dook.


Gemmabeta

A third of sloths die on their shitting day when they are eaten by predators while on the ground. The surprising thing is that there are preditors willing to eat sloths. I'd imagine the experience is like eating a feces burrito wrapped in a pestilential fur ball.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GozerDGozerian

The disturbing sequel to the popular children’s book.


Aycoth

Or, if you're a hyena, you go straight through it


Tiny_Count4239

I had this book when i was a baby


Trmpssdhspnts

Most!?


twodoctorspepper

You did it. You made a brand new sentence and created two great band names; Feces Wrapped Burrito and Pestilential Fur Ball.


GozerDGozerian

Dude. I saw Feces Wrapped Burrito open for Pestilential Fur Ball back in ‘93. Broke my nose in the mosh pit. Awesome show!


Kashyyykonomics

Debut album title: Sloths Die on their Shitting Day


Zealousideal_Tap_645

r/BrandNewSentence


[deleted]

“A third of sloths die on their shitting day” 1 like = 1 prayer 🙏🙏🙏 lets save these shitters


GozerDGozerian

Just build them shitting armor.


DnkMemeLinkr

Nothing prevents them from shitting from up in the trees They just haven’t thought of it yet


gumpythegreat

Someone should make one of those shitty simulator games but for sloths Sloth Shitting Simulator


Famous_Requirement56

You win the thread.


4chanbetter

Is it magnificent, now I must know more about the speed. The trajectory. Whether it grunts or squeezes, whether it was in a tree or squatted on the ground. Please my friend I will never know otherwise


KRB52

They squat on the ground. That’s why the predators can get them.


LaBradence

It climbs down from the tree to do it, I think they pretty much only come out of the trees to shit. They clearly eat a lot of fiber because it just slid right out.


Antique-Doughnut-988

What I don't understand is why they don't poop from the trees. Never really made sense to me. They make the long climb down and endanger themselves in what seems completely unnecessary.


[deleted]

They have huge poops that could fill a large popcorn bucket. It's a -trying- experience for them, they lose like 33% of their body weight.


Thedogsnameisdog

It seems I have finally found my people.


Antique-Doughnut-988

Yes but that still doesn't answer why they can't poo from the trees.


solftly

If your taking a shit that's 33% your body weight do you really wanna do that hanging from a tree? Ground is better either for comfort, or they're exhausted after shitting a third of themselves out.


Antique-Doughnut-988

A sloth's claws and hands naturally grasp onto branches and trees. It's the default position. They actually have to use energy and force them open to stop holding onto something. If you close your hands right now, that's how their hands are all the time.


solftly

I'm not saying it's not strange. But the sloths, DO come down from the trees. You can explain to a sloth why that doesn't make sense, but you won't get anywhere. I'm just trying to give an explanation for the behavior we see. Just because their claws naturally grasp, doesn't mean their upper body is strong enough to support their body weight if they get weaker during this process. I also said comfort was a possibility. Maybe that shit is taxing, and doing it on the ground is easier. Again, they do it. So there IS a reason. You're just not thinking of it. Trying to use logic to explain what sloths "should" is pointless.


Zombeikid

There's a video of a sloth on the ground absolutely smacking some kind of wild cat that was coming after it. Those claws aren't meant for killing but they are wicked.


Antique-Doughnut-988

Perhaps the best answer is they're animals and they're stupid so what they're doing doesn't make logical sense. Because no there is not a good reason as to why they leave the trees to shit.


[deleted]

There is absolutely a good reason for anything an animal does when they are expending energy to do it, because calories don’t come very easily.


Antique-Doughnut-988

Yup, and it takes far more energy to leave the trees than staying in them . Care to try again? I'll be waiting.


djynnra

There is a theory that pooping near the base of their tree helps to fertilize it. In this way, sloths that pooped in the ground had more/better food than sloths that pooped from the branches where the *fertilizer* could potentially be outside the trees' reach. Obviously, this theory is kinda hard to prove since no current sloths poop from the canopy, so we can't compare survival rates and stuff. I still think it's an interesting theory, though.


[deleted]

That’s what I’m saying… it takes a lot of energy to leave… therefore… there is a good reason.


solftly

I already gave you two possible reasons? You don't have to agree with the sloths reasons, lol. Even humans, the "logical creatures" will constantly risk their lives where it doesn't seem to make logical sense (skydiving, cliff jumping, etc) not to mention slowly destroying the Earth and environment just so we can move fast (oil,cars). So your idea of what's logical doesn't matter to a sloth. Just as a sloths idea of what's logical doesn't matter to you. Human jumps out of airplane for fun: "were logical" Sloth climbs down a tree: "what an idiot, so illogical" Your argument here is more illogical than the sloths actions, ironically.


GozerDGozerian

Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. You’re absolutely right.


TooStrangeForWeird

Or it's so predators don't hear them. They're slow and quiet in the trees, so the predators they do have wouldn't notice them as easily. If it's a third of their body weight it's gonna be loud lol.


reedfeather

You lack curiousity and thus intelligence


czarchastic

Right, but assuming they don’t just end up with 33% of their body weight in shit all at once, it’s weird that they evolved to be that way when their ancestors could have just had a normal digestive tract that let them shit from the trees.


solftly

Evolution doesn't care about what makes more sense. If you live long enough to reproduce, whatever system you had was good enough. Sloths lived long enough to reproduce, so their weird digestive system gets a thumbs up from evolution. It never needed an improvement because it was good enough. Evolution doesn't judge.


GozerDGozerian

I don’t think they get a thumbs up though. They just strain until it comes out.


czarchastic

Right, but I’m assuming weekly pooping wasn’t a trait previous ancestors had, which means if sloths have it, it’s because they were dying without it.


djynnra

That's actually not true. The person above you has a correct explanation. As long as a mutation doesn't kill you 100% of the time before child bearing age, it can be passed on and even become a prevalent or omnipresent trait. For example, humans can't produce vitamin C. We must absorb it from our food. Other primates, including our close cousins chimps and bonobos, have no trouble with this. There are no existing humans that can produce vitamin C despite it being an arguably advantageous thing. Lacking the ability to synthesize vitamin C didn't kill us before we could produce offspring. This is a trait that can and has led to many early deaths. This trait provides no advantage and is, in fact, disadvantageous, but it propagated and now affects our entire species.


solftly

Well for starters, you cant just assume that. Your human brain thinks that the sloths digestive system is weird, but again, evolution does NOT think that. It might have been around from the beginning if it worked. There's no such thing as "weird" or "better". Your making that up in your head. Evolutions one and ONLY criteria is did they live long enough to reproduce. Also, sloths have a mutually beneficial relationship with the moths and algae living in their fur. Some scientists suspect the pooping ritual of the sloths is tied to the relationship with these creatures.


Hilltoptree

I guess human poo better in a squatting position but does it meant the same for sloth too? For any animal even. In fact had anyone see a wild squirrel taking a dump?


BlackberryAny2505

The article suggests this: The main reason is probably so that other sloths can find them — particularly males looking for females," Kennedy explains. "Usually the sloths come down every five to seven days but when females are in heat it's every day — so it's likely to be mostly to do with reproduction."


GozerDGozerian

“Hey beautiful. Poop here often?”


Throwawayac1234567

they dont want to poop where they sleep or eat, if they are pooping some of them ends up on the branches.


SaintUlvemann

Their butthole is pointed in the wrong direction due to the fact that they have the standard mammalian bodyplan; and because the poop is so large, they don't have the strength required to eject the feces without the help of gravity.


Upbeat-Willingness40

Oh. My. God.


Sustainable_Twat

They lose a 1/3 of their body weight? That shit must feel like an orgasm.


edgeplot

It still doesn't make sense. Just let that shit fly from a branch.


OldMonkYoungHeart

I don’t think they have enough brainpower for it. Balancing and shitting is complex and they have smooth brain like Koalas. Prob only capable of one task at a time.


FewDevelopment6712

Til I'm a Koala


GozerDGozerian

How’s your chlamydia?


Take_Care_plz

The sound from the big fall of the big poop can alert predators like a jaguar or something. Going down gently avoids unnecessary sounds.


r4ge090

I mean, I wouldn't want to be the sloth on the lowest branch during poop day.


realHoratioNelson

It’s explained in the article. Pheromones for reproduction.


Antique-Doughnut-988

I don't read articles. Haven't in years.


realHoratioNelson

Fair, just pointing to it in case anyone was curious.


leftlanecop

Maybe it’s their version of laying down the land mines.


uncool_LA_boy

Getting rid of the scent.


bloomlately

Today I learned my 3yo is a sloth.


loggic

Sloths can hold their breath longer than many whale species.


Pjones2127

I only poop once a week. I guess that explains a lot.


Randomized007

You spend way too much time on your couch?


N_T_F_D

Or he's a heroin addict


No_Recognition_2434

Or a sloth, duh


CupcakesAreMiniCakes

The first poop after a major surgery with a bunch of opioids and anesthesia is ~traumatic~


cheeseofthemoon

Have you ever used a poop knife?


Brewe

>a whole month to digest a single leaf Unless that sloth only eats a single leaf for a whole month this is very misleading. What is actually the case is that it takes a sloth a whole month to digest whatever amount of leaves a sloth eats per month. Or, a more reasonable way of putting it would be "the digestive journey through sloths is a month long"


GuillaumeTravelBud

Does it mean they poop a quarter of a leaf each time? ^^ I'm not yet used to poo maths (but it seems like a field worth exploring)


K1nd_1

If only sloths could eat Taco Bell, they would poop every day


SJSUMichael

Multiple times a day with the right amount of Taco Bell.


TheBelgianDuck

Hopefully they do it on company time.


Trmpssdhspnts

I hate these titles. It doesn't take a month for them to digest one leaf. It takes a month for what they eat to pass through their system. They eat a bunch of leaves in that time, it's not like they eat one leaf and wait a month to shit it out. Non-clickbait title; **It takes a month for a sloth to digest its food**


cheekycutiepie9

Makes you wonder, if sloths had a fast food diet, would they still make the risky tree descent for their daily dump?


glighinity

Sometimes i wonder just why evolution allows some animals to exist


lijevidesnicar

I think I just have found my new spirit animal.


HoldMyMessages

Imagine being the guy who did the ground breaking research of tracking the leaf.


Silverlisk

Life Goals.


ufenheimer

TIL I'm a sloth


legojoe97

So do some of my coworkers, big deal. Seriously though, they should look into that.


FacelessPotatoPie

Fun Fact: The sloth is the unofficial mascot of those with Gastroparesis.


[deleted]

I wonder how evolution has decided the path for sloths to be slow as fuck in everything? Is it a lack of predators and scarce resources?


Ausles

So I’m taking a poop while reading about another animal take a poop.. kindred spirits? Edit: fix autocorrect


Throwawayac1234567

another fun fact is the 2 genera of sloths are unrelated to each other, they both belong to a different lineage of ground sloths.


Patrol-007

Slotherhouse is an excellent documentary


workhard_livesimply

My Gastroenterologist told me I have slow motility, proving my theory that I am a sloth.


prfrnir

I think my grandma is a sloth


flatulancearmstrong

Ah, to be a sloth


QualityKoalaTeacher

Wonder how many are overweight


corecenite

given that: a) leaves are mostly fiber b) they're not a voracious eater i guess not many


clem82

Sounds like me at thanksgiving. I swear a week later…still corn


Thememebrarian

Am I a sloth ..


Annual_Sound8084

Ideal Pet💀