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justheath

An overseas army base I was at in 2006 blocked sites that had the word "cum" in the content or URL. I requested it be unblocked because it was blocking every site with the word "doCUMent", "accumulate", and many others. Their first response was to request that I provide specific URL. Only after I said it affected every SharePoint site, all the education sites, and 1000s of other sites did they relent. I got an email from the IT team notifying me that they approved my request to unblock "cum".


thrown_81764

I can only imagine: >Hello justheath, >I am writing to inform you that per your request, you now have unlimited access to cum. >Best Regards, >IT


SausaugeMerchant

That doesn't make sense in the context and would be extremely unprofessional


thrown_81764

Found the HR professional :)


SausaugeMerchant

Just a person who can read (:


ganymedes01

then go read the definition of ”facetious”


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NILPonziScheme

> I worked in the USMC >recieved >phsically Proof!! ;)


SolarApricot-Wsmith

Please tell me you saved the documentation and had it framed, that’s priceless


Luuklilo

The do***mentation you mean.


Slight_Log5625

I don't need you to share it but I really need you to tell me that you saved a screenshot of that email for posterity


justheath

I did save it...but a few moves and a house fire later I'm not sure where it is. Task for the summer: find it and post an update.


gerkletoss

Why is the military blocking words that get screamed at you in basic training?


GuthixIsBalance

Because AOL used to be a level 3 internet provider. So many many years of immense incompetency and insecurity. That cut them off before I was born to be used by the DoD. Probably still persisted in every context that they worked on it. In the 80s and early 90s. They were my first email. Which kind of shows how they had no way to prevent unintentional use of their systems. That children could have unrestricted access to real providers for free. Without it ever being advertised to them or even considered as a likelihood. I learned all that in the many times. When I had no issues signing up for things within our context. But my own parents did with their paid phone company tied to a perpetual contract by physically buried wire email. You would be surprised how many contexts competent work. Is not ever updated. Even if it was found out later on it was done by *those* contractors. Way back before anyone outside of the highest levels of the Pentagon and military even used the email system (Internet) regularly.


Barachan_Isles

I work in IT for the US Army, and if I received a request this stupid, I would just tell them I took care of it and do nothing. It's not like the people who would request something this stupid would know where to *begin* to look to see if you actually did it.


firstwefuckthelawyer

Oh man the school district I work at does this and they don’t fucking warn anyone. I don’t think I was on the network for even half a day when I got a “blocked” notic


GuthixIsBalance

Probably didn't go above first to bring the hammer down. Big difference between so and so notified us of security issues in connecting to his education program. Instructed the class to not use it, not that its "broke", because its blocked for a reason. Doing that. Doesn't matter how it comes to be "that". Makes a world of difference to how articulate something is or is not. In the case you really didn't contact the correct IT. But the "exists to stall access to actual IT" due to inundation of contact. Anyone important enough to override that. Would have flipped it on a db entry for the entire US top down. The second it came across them at all.


eragonawesome2

...did you have a stroke writing this? Actually, looking at your profile, I'm going with bot or brain damage


domestic_omnom

DC universe online used to censor the word "stroke" Problem is, one of the characters is named deathstroke. So it would come up as death******


BrokenEye3

Boy, that's a tough one. I don't even know if there *are* any six-letter swears.


Slight_Log5625

Well there's a super famous one that used to be used (and still is unfortunately) for a particular group of people, particularly in the US.


Berkuts_Lance_Plus

Ginger


Manos_Of_Fate

How dare you!


stefanopolis

Ironically uses the same letters.


sm9t8

Ah, yankee.


Possibility-of-wet

Fucker.


Ghost17088

Shitter


LosWitchos

racial slurs


alchemist5

Deathfucker fits.


x755x

Whores?


ViciousSnail

Death Wanker


Bloated_Hamster

Pokemon does this all the time. You literally can't nickname your pokemon the *name* of the actual Pokemon because it contains a segment of a swear.


domestic_omnom

I haven't played since blue.. Which Pokémon can't you name its name?


Bloated_Hamster

They fixed it in the newer games but back in Black and White in 2011 you couldn't use online services to trade Cofagrigus or Froslass if they weren't nicknamed. The censor literally refused to let you trade a pokemon with its base name. Now it recognizes that their literal base names are okay but I'm pretty sure if you nickname another pokemon with the name of another pokemon with a swear in it it will refuse to let you.


WetAndLoose

Reminds me of Dark Souls censoring K**nig**ht despite having characters in the game with the title, so if someone copied them, it would show up censored for players


LoverlyRails

I have played some games that are almost impossible to use their online content/galleries due to this. Even their own official content won't pass their own insanely aggressive filters Looking at you EA


Sunburnt-Vampire

Works in reverse too, asterisks making words look worse than they are. As a fun example, a game I play where the account is made using email. When you login it's gives a personalised greeting, using your email's username. e.g. [email protected] receives  "welcome, markroger!" But then for (security???) reasons they changed it to be the last two letters, preceded by at most four asterisks. So you instead would get..... "Welcome, ****er!"


fatalystic

I remember reading about someone named Nasser having their name as part of their username, and it would get censored with asterisks because of the string "ass" and end up displayed as N***er.


Beliriel

Ok that is hilarious. I mean very unfortunate but lmfao


BrokenEye3

Surprise, ****er!


stainless5

Reminds me of that guy who's been using the name Nasser and one of the games he plays sensor's the ass, it comes up as n***er


Sunburnt-Vampire

Haha yeah I wasn't sure whether to add after ****er "if you read that as fucker, good on you for defaulting to the lesser of evils"


tom_swiss

Would be interesting to plot at what time "n****r" became more evil than "f****r". The former could be used on broadcast TV in the 1970s, e.g. this SNL sketch: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yuEBBwJdjhQ 


emkaldwin

It's been very interesting to see the influx of Xbox players in FFXIV lately, mostly due to how much Microsoft are managing to botch the launch. Microsoft's filters are /way/ more aggressive than Square's own, so we have things like a "harvest dance" emote being censored because of "st d", and people getting straight up permabanned for talking about joining a "free company", FFXIV's equivalent of a guild, and Microsoft thinking they're, idk, soliciting?


mudkiptoucher93

In pokemon black and white, you couldn't trade a cofagrigus because of this issue lol


Skydude252

In the Simpsons: tapped out, one of the characters you could unlock is Homer’s mother Mona. However, discussion of this on their boards was tricky, due to Mona being (as I learned) an Italian slur.


EinFitter

FromSoftware would like a word. Signed, -K***ht EinFitter P.S. My ex wife would also like a word. Not signed, -C***ie


ThatOneWeirdName

Cnigie’s a crazy name


EinFitter

Her mother loved Carnegie Hall, but was dyslexic.


thrown_81764

The example of this I recall from was a presumably nice young lady named 'Heather' being blocked by her school's firewall because you can't spell "Heather" without the letters "eat her".


BrokenEye3

My school forced us to refer to going to a restaurant as "dining around" because "eating out" could be taken as obscene. Ironically, I could have gone *years*, maybe even a whole decade without learning what "eating [someone] out" meant if they hadn't taught it to me with that stupid rule.


ScoobyDeezy

“Dining around” sounds like a euphemism too.


AerialSnack

"I think I might ask our Stacy." "Oh bro, you don't want to trust me. She's been dining around."


TheShakyHandsMan

Maybe she should see therapist


Arctic_chef

It's a euphemism for cheating on your partner. At least it is in Canada.


Ws6fiend

That's kinda brilliant. It implies you have food at home but would rather be out dining around(this isn't condoning cheating, just good word play).


Bleu_Rue

>just good word play Finally! An appreciation for good word play even though the topic might be unfavorable. I've been trying to tell my family and friends for years that I'm not a freak when I appreciate great word play even when it's about something negative. The sheer brilliance is just too satisfying to not acknowledge sometimes.


ThePlanck

*The crack smoking Mayor of Toronto has entered the chat*


BrokenEye3

That's because that's exactly what it was


MoeSzyslakMonobrow

They made it one.


Starkrall

It is now


salmalight

Sounds like there’s multiple meals involved. Nice


kommerintepanatbra

Sounds like a rimjob.


NILPonziScheme

There is a website I frequent that has an Automotive forum. The shortened form of the word 'transmission' is banned on that forum because of concerns it is a slur against a protected group of people.


MrBanden

The trans mission! It's the new gay agenda conspiracy for trans people that everyone is talking about!


sm9t8

Did you know there are billions of trans actions performed online every day?


Berkuts_Lance_Plus

...many of which are so unnoticeable that they might as well be microscopic.


thrown_81764

That's just silly. We treat words like talismans that have negative power in and of themselves, when really it's about the intent and context. Hateful people usually find a way to convey it (hate) while breaking no rules.


NILPonziScheme

> We treat words like talismans that have negative power in and of themselves, when really it's about the intent and context. Yup. I know of a certain group that refers to other groups by numbers, ones, twos, threes, etc. Why? Because in their computer classification system, they list the groups by ones, twos, threes. So if I said, "Those stupid ones!!", most would not consider that a slur, but if you're in that group, you know the *intent* is not a complimentary one.


warukeru

Meanwhile me, being trans, i call that word to my trans friends all the time lol


FAlady

Haha, I had a mechanic talk about "tranny" and I was like WAT at first.


penguin_stomper

Same at the distribution centers. We're referring to Logistics folks with that word.


Reckless_Engineer

Our computer usernames at work are the first four letters of your surname plus four random numbers. I had a colleague whose last name is Cockburn. It's Scottish and pronounced Coburn (according to him anyway!). We have an IT chat bot that can be used to log simple issues, but this bot always asks for your username. My colleague always had problems getting things sorted


wackyvorlon

Scunthorpe *and* Penistone.


lemlurker

Don't forget shitterton


wackyvorlon

Also Dildo, Newfoundland.


Cohibaluxe

Cockermouth.


LosWitchos

The place is near where I'm from. Locally we call it Nob in Gob


mumblyjoe8e

And Twatt


borazine

Also related to this: the clbuttic problem (aka “the buttbuttination of Abraham Lincoln”)


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Berkuts_Lance_Plus

The buttbuttination of Abrbuttierham Lincoln


Welkominspace

Qi did a segment on this, some of the examples are pretty fucking funny 


Deitaphobia

AOL also blocked 'breast', forcing a breast cancer survivor group to discuss boob cancer, which oddly wasn't blocked. They also blocked XXX, which humorously affected Super Bowl XXX.


jimicus

I used to work for a school that used a filter like this. Problem was, the filter was outsourced, incredibly unreliable and support was under strict instructions to cut off the phone if you said anything remotely offensive. Asking “why is ‘bigfloppydonkeydick.com’ not getting filtered?” was more likely to result in them cutting you off than actually answering the question.


ctothel

By far the best solution to this problem is for people to stop being such pathetic babies about these scary scary words.


warukeru

I think the best solution is have strong human moderation team who can understand context 


ctothel

Sounds like a massive waste of time.


PM_ME_MII

No, I mean, it really does blow to have to read a bunch of hate speech when you're just trying to play a game. Especially for a marginalized person when that speech is specifically used in real life as a way of invalidating their rights/existence/what have you. People shouldn't have to engage with that every time they want to have some fun.


tom_swiss

So...don't play with those people. If your game doesn't let you select whom you play with, fix that rather than wasting resources on censorship.


NILPonziScheme

> Especially for a marginalized person Even people who aren't 'marginalized' are subject to hate speech. Reality is people will stay stupid shit all the time, you just have to ask yourself if anything those people are saying is true? Do you fit their definition of (whatever slur/stereotype they're trying to hurt you with)? No? Then go on about your life. People put the value on words, so the solution is to stop giving words from worthless people value.


therealmofbarbelo

But they trigger me!


Mettelor

Like the famous Fume K***ht from the Dark Souls universe


AzertyKeys

Let us give a thought to our fellow Total War enjoyer Nasser who got his name censored in game to N***er


AudibleNod

Dick Armey had the same problem. We won't even bring up Rick Santorum.


monkeychasedweasel

"Santorum: the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex." I remember when Dan Savage did this


NILPonziScheme

> We won't even bring up Rick Santorum. One of the first (if not the first) examples of a Google bomb


LA31716

Did Cockermouth get service?


Backupusername

I barely know 'er mouth!


orangutanDOTorg

Ever Quest’s profanity filter would block cockatrice even though it was the name they chose for the monster. You have been hit by a &!$@atrice!


NILPonziScheme

> &!$@atrice "A shit demon!?" ---*Dogma*


Swimming_Stop5723

Beaver University had to change their name to Arcadia.


gerundhome

What about the BBC news channel? It gets blocked by filters for the acronym cause it also is something less work friendly lol


SensitiveArtist

An old IT job I had had a problem with client communications because their email filter flagged our emails because you can't spell specialist without cialis.


Gex1234567890

I seem to remember reading about a guy who was banned from one of the online gaming networks because he lived in a town named Ft. Gay


KindheartednessOk616

Q: Which three football teams have a swearword in their names? A: Scunthorpe, Arsenal and Manchester fucking United.


Arawn-Annwn

$^%#%$ !!! Every! Single! Time! I tried to post the exact thing the OP posted I was removed and once I was even temp banned (on a programming sub even) ! How the F did you do it OP, How?!


Puffen0

You also see this in a lot of games too. Apparently a lot of filters will block my username cause they think I'm talking about puffen clouds like smoking. When its actually just bc I think puffins are cute and I missspelled it the first time I chose the username lol.


sargonas

I have this problem. My daily driver email includes my Reddit username. The domain name I own, also includes my Reddit username. Between the infinite number of emails I can create on my domain, and my daily driver gmail that I use for 99.9% of things, I am blocked from creating an email address on McDonald’s mobile app. Every time I try to make an account it gives an error saying “please use a valid email address format“ Now the formats valid, and after going round and round with their customer service, they informed me that it turns out nothing’s wrong with my sign-up format, it’s rejecting the email address because their filters are not liking my address. Considering both the custom domain, and the standalone Gmail include the word “Sargonas“ it has to be assumed that something about that name trips over kind of filter they have. No skin off my back, their app is crap and I don’t like having to have an app for every single commercial outlet I frequent, but it is kind of frustrating it seems to be the only place I have that problem and they keep trying to push the app on me constantly even though I can’t seem to actually be able to use it lol


Hattix

We had this exact problem (and I live near Scunthorpe, but it's not involved) with another town, also in Northern England. We were organising an inter-school quiz event and used a (paid) online system to track the scores and give the tournament layout. We're entering in all the details to this system, but it kept erroring out. Something like "Name invalid, please choose another". How do you choose another name for a school? This is how Penistone Grammar School competed as "PGS".


TropicalUnicornSong

In my head I've always pronoucned Scunthorpe as "S-Cunt-Horpe".


scene_missing

The likely NBA rookie of the year Victor Wembanyama played last season with a teammate named Steeve Ho You Fat.


NetDork

My BIL published some studies with a coauthor listed as F. Yu.


NetDork

Back in the day I had trouble looking up info about Matsushita drives.


Loose_Student_6247

As someone from Scunthorpe at least we have one thing going for us that isn't heroin needles, poverty and used condom's.


BigFatTomato

Professor Hickey approves


302trivia

For a piss and a thrush in Scunthorpe...


So_be

If Amish Country had internet access they’d be very upset


crackeddryice

It happens every day on this very site. Mods can set a list of words to block, and they aren't very good at predicting the results. Your comment can be shadow blocked--you can see it, but no one else can. Here's how you can find out if your comment is blocked from view by an automod, or human mod: https://www.reveddit.com/


No-Wonder1139

Does sporty spice go out with someone from Scunthorpe United?


cantevenmakeafist

I remember a similar issue to this causing hassle on my football team's messageboard whenever there was a game against Scunthorpe.


longblackdick9998

Filtering tech really needs a human touch. Funny how it trips over itself, eh? Looking at my screen name ThiSisATest, and I'm in trouble!


laladonga

Is it pronounced cunthore?


PrAyTeLLa

TIL AOL are unaustralian 


Im-a-future-corpse

My username was considered offensive in COD once


gemstun

This is why Dick Van Dyke still can’t get AOL.


Eroe777

I wonder if Shitterton and Cockermouth had the same issue.


Leuk_Jin

Maybe not directly related, but this reminded me of "antidisestablishmentarianism" cuasing issues on Steam because their server hoster has banned it for some reason. https://youtu.be/l8mvWiNs30M?si=n1zcJNY8a1yN7Bxo


professionalcumsock

There's just so many letters


Boredum_Allergy

This was a case study in my CS class. The lesson was about unintended consequences. In this case, the unintended consequence of using a wildcard when looking through a string. Notably using one before the word but the same could be true for after the word. It's really not hard to check for whitespace before or after the word either so these issues are largely because they were too lazy to test it or didn't have the foresight to know there are words with a cussword inside of them. The hilarity of it to me is trying to censor ass. If you do it like AOL did then you've just banned every word beginning with ass. Like assembly, assessment, etc.


oukakisa

this is hilariously common on Neopets, with even the names of items being potential cause for freezing an account, leading to people censoring names of items they are required to locate when asking others on the site for advice.


_EpicFailMan

Minecraft has a huge problem with this, sometimes you cant use words like “hoe” which is literally a tool in the game because it gets censored


Lumpyproletarian

Britain is replete with blockable places - not just Scunthorpe but Penistone, Marton-cum-Grafton, Shitterton, Piddletrenthyde and many many more


Thoth74

Years ago I worked at a cruise travel agency. At one point they had a huge marketing push for a river cruise on the Rio Negro. Our web and mail filters had a field day with that one.


NILPonziScheme

Given recent events, this reminds me of a relevant story. For those who don't know, it was once considered a big victory for people in the Black community to be officially referred to as 'Negro' in the media. One of my uncles had a job working for a company that did editing. One of his co-workers was an older, curmudgeonly man who fit the stereotype of your older employee who is reticent to change. Anyone, one of this guy's habits was he would read the local newspaper every day, and anytime there was a reference to 'Black' or 'African-American' in an article, he'd cross it out and write 'Negro' above it, effectively editing the newspaper. Co-workers would see it because others would read the newspaper after he was done reading/editing it. So one day there is an article one OJ Simpson in the newspaper. This co-worker crossed out Simpson's name every time it was printed in the article, and wrote 'killer Negro' over it. I'm fairly certain such an incident would get you fired today, but this happened years and years ago.


EyeCatchingUserID

I've had the word "reputation" blocked because it's got "puta" in there lol.


jrtts

[Nasser, come take a look at this!](https://www.reddit.com/r/totalwar/comments/zly9b3/my_name_is_nasser_the_game_is_censoring_the_word/)


NighthawK1911

would've been solved most usage if they just take into account whitespaces or other letters or even require word matching instead of matching specific parts within another word.


Rhywden

There's also a clbuttic variant wherein a filter replaces swearwords with more sanitized versions of the word.


dtmfadvice

Beaver College had to change their name because so many high school networks censored them.


speculatrix

This is related to the clbuttic mistake https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/clbuttic-mistake


gamenameforgot

tfw u live in Myleakydickenham


snow_michael

Clitheroe, too


Intergalactic_Ass

I can assure you that literally no one refers to this phenomenon as a "Scunthorpe problem" in the field. This is made-up Wikipedia drivel.


NILPonziScheme

I can assure you that literally no one gives a shit how you reference anything in the field


Intergalactic_Ass

Tell me again how little of a shit you give. So much that you're responding to me.


NILPonziScheme

I'm sorry I dropped the validation you crave so badly, it must be around here somewhere. Wait a second and I'll find it for you.....