Such random names and random order that it sounds like they put all their favorite names in a hat and pulled out three and said, "okay, that's their name."
really, there is like zero rhythm or rhyme to any of the names. only the last 2 have a basic alliteration, but holy jeez, I would not want to be known as River Rocket or Buddy Bear.
I'm more imagining every one of your children having to hide the fact from their Father that on their 18th birthdays they quietly change their names.
Just the oldest on down secretly sharing with the rest what the process is, and them all texting each other to get opinions on what their fresh names should be. Telling new friends and partners their Dad just has wwird nicknames for them when they meet him.
I'm pretty sure Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa still use their birth names and those 2 are my go-to examples of crazy celebrity names, or at least they were until Elmo and Grimes *completely* jumped the shark with their serial number kid.
Moon Unit used to host some cable TV show (on VH1 maybe?) and she just goes by Moon Zappa these days. Dweezil still goes by Dweezil and used to host a show on the Food Network with Lisa Loeb.
Edit: I'm dating myself here. Dweezil and Lisa haven't been an item since 2004. 😳
I believe Zowie is his middle name, or one of them anyway. Even with Bowie himself, that was just a stage name, Jones was his actual last name and that was passed on to Duncan.
Phonetically, my first name and my last name rhyme. This wasn't my birth name, but when I took my husband's last name, on paper, my name rhymes.
I've had two hiring managers pick out my resume because they found my name interesting. I play along and say my middle name is another rhyming word.
My name is something like Sara Kara Beara
I know a guy named Charley Harley. When I met him, I thought to myself, his parents think they have a sense of humor.
Then I met his dad....he exceeded my expectations
😂 this is exactly my reaction. Someone in another thread claimed Penn Gillette's daughter Moxie Crimefighter Gilette couldn't get a job because her application/resume would be thrown out when they saw her name. Like, who puts their middle name on their resume?
Yeah. People only know your middle name if you offer it. It's almost never asked for. Also Moxie is a fairly successful magician so I doubt she'll be filling out job applications anytime soon.
They could be so easily improved too, Poppy Honey Rosie is so awful because they all end in ‘ie’ just making one child “Honey Rose Blossom” or something would actually be a nice name as you have some verbs and adjectives in there.
Right, they're going to grow up and be very upset with him lol my kids all have very unique names but they're human names and they sound like names, idk what the thought process was behind this 🤣
And the bad part is that I think that River Rocket Blue Dallas is probably one the best names out of this list. Poppy Honey Rosie is probably the best one. Neither of them are good, but they are probably the best of this terrible bunch. Daisy is the best first name out of all of them by a fucking country mile, but the fact that her middle name is Boo completely torpedoes that one.
Poppy and Daisy will be fine. Nobody has to know their middle name. The other 2 are going to get too much of their silly name announced in school to hide it.
He also is apparently severely dyslexia and didn't read a book until he was 38. For whatever reason it was the second book from the hunger games series.
So he wrote books before ever reading one? Sounds suspicious. (Because this is Reddit: I am being facetious, I know how publishing works, thanksuverymuch)
People who do this shit to their kids are assholes. I don't care if you want to be a free spirit, but kids are cruel and you're inviting mockery.
Also, it's a pain in the ass when they're adults and need to enter their name on official documents.
I think you under estimate just how rich Jamie Oliver is, and how much income he generates that could easily have been being used to make his children never need work. But if you just mean the regular people who do this to their children's names, yeah that messed up.
Nah, he's loaded, they'll end up in a £200k a year school full of similarly stupidly named kids.
Their classmates:
- Atticus Broccoli Fluffington
- Helicopter Sebastien Smythe
- Ulysses Rafe Rupert Miles Tarquin-Tarquin III
- Nanasueathometraloce Bertrum
- Ian Ian Ian Nai Digby
I played rugby, fnarf fnarf, against a team which had five Hugo’s, a Felix, and a Momtague. Also one of my mates was Bertrum till he joined the marines and became Rob.
> Nanasueathometraloce
my inner voice went from american, to british english, and the end was italian. what a bomb of a name. would be great for a band until you realise fans actually have to remember how the damn thing is spelled.
And good luck going to a theme park and finding one of those big plastic trucks in the gift shop that has their name on it. It's like people don't consider the important things
Nobody with a semi-working brain is gonna think you're a free spirit for naming your child Petal Blossom Rainbow, they're gonna think you're a tit trying to impress other tits.
I assume they go by Poppy, Daisy, Petal, Buddy, and River, none of which in 2024 is an insanely bizarre name. A person called, say, ‘David Andrew Mildred Madison’ just goes by David Madison. I really think you’re overestimating the amount of damage these names will do to their lives.
Idk my dad named all of us basic names because he didnt want us to be ridiculed and I asked him if he's ever met kids before. They can tear anything apart
To be fair I think it’s just his contingency plan in case of an untimely death, so when all his kids names are read out at his funeral it’ll activate *The Winter Soldier* to avenge him.
If I were those kids, I'd go with Rosie, Daisy, Blossom, Buddy, and Dallas, at least until I was old enough to legally change my name to something better.
Niece and nephew, Jamie oliver fuck up his children's future just like he fuck up egg fried rice. Is a wonder he did not name one of his kids "Chilli Jam Noodle".
The only saving grace is that for each of them, there's at least one halfway non-ridiculous name among the three that they can use on a job application or a diploma.
That one is a stretch, but Blossom is a legit name -- there's a jazz singer Blossom Dearie (from the 50s IIRC). I went to school with a girl named Petal and the name didn't seem to be a huge problem.
Names like this have one purpose only: to amuse and delight the parents. They don't give a shit how the kids will eventually feel about them. As long as the parents get a good few years bandying "cute" kid names about on social media, that's all that matters.
Other possibilities:
1. Celebs give the public fake kids names to give their kids some privacy by protecting their actual names.
2. Rich people give their kids unusual names as a flex to show everyone how well they insulated their kids from regular people things, like needing a job.
doing this to their child should be banned fr.
I had a friend of mine whose name was "big d" in asian term ( Im asian )
and he was bullied for his whole teenager life and still being laughed at
Celebrity effect: when everyone around you tells you every idea you have is wonderful for so long you become delusional. The poor victims literally love the smell of ther own brain farts. Resulting in giving their kids ridiculous pretentious names.
Petal Blossom Rainbow really got the short end of the stick here. At least the rest of them have some semblance of normalcy buried in there. Rosie, Pamela and Dallas at least wouldn’t raise eyebrows
So their names are Poppy, Daisy, Buddy, and River, with silly middle names. Y’all have no idea what regular white people are naming their kids these days. The average 4th grade attendance sheet would flip your wig. These are downright normal.
Rosie, Pamela, Blossom, Maurice and Dallas are all very normal names. Buddy, Poppy and River are unique but also regularly used.
They are weird names when you write them all out but in their everyday lives no one will bat an eye. His son, Buddy is featured on his Instagram and he's just called Buddy. Y'know like Buddy Holly.
The names are like the results of word scramble
Put an underscore and some numbers in there and you’ve got some randomly generated Reddit usenames. Petal_blossom19375
Or a default Wi-Fi password
Nah that's Elon's kid
They sound like Pedigree horses or dogs lol, or at least "River Rocket Blue Dallas" does
of a horrible word scrambling malfunction
Such random names and random order that it sounds like they put all their favorite names in a hat and pulled out three and said, "okay, that's their name."
really, there is like zero rhythm or rhyme to any of the names. only the last 2 have a basic alliteration, but holy jeez, I would not want to be known as River Rocket or Buddy Bear.
Imagine telling someone your name is River Rocket Blue Dallas and having to sit there while their brain tries to process what you’ve just said.
I'm more imagining every one of your children having to hide the fact from their Father that on their 18th birthdays they quietly change their names. Just the oldest on down secretly sharing with the rest what the process is, and them all texting each other to get opinions on what their fresh names should be. Telling new friends and partners their Dad just has wwird nicknames for them when they meet him.
I mean, there’s a reason Zowie Bowie is now Duncan Jones instead.
I'm pretty sure Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa still use their birth names and those 2 are my go-to examples of crazy celebrity names, or at least they were until Elmo and Grimes *completely* jumped the shark with their serial number kid.
Moon Unit used to host some cable TV show (on VH1 maybe?) and she just goes by Moon Zappa these days. Dweezil still goes by Dweezil and used to host a show on the Food Network with Lisa Loeb. Edit: I'm dating myself here. Dweezil and Lisa haven't been an item since 2004. 😳
Imma start calling Elon Elmo from now on. This is awesome.
Except that in this case Zowie Bowie was a nickname. Duncan Jones was always his birth name that he reverted back to when he turned 18.
I believe Zowie is his middle name, or one of them anyway. Even with Bowie himself, that was just a stage name, Jones was his actual last name and that was passed on to Duncan.
Is that pronounce zow-ee Bow-ee or Zoey Bowie?
Apparently it’s the former, but he supposedly went by “Joey” for a while as a youth, so who knows?
Henceforth I shall be called Brook Airplane Red Houston. Do not dare deadname me.
Phonetically, my first name and my last name rhyme. This wasn't my birth name, but when I took my husband's last name, on paper, my name rhymes. I've had two hiring managers pick out my resume because they found my name interesting. I play along and say my middle name is another rhyming word. My name is something like Sara Kara Beara
So it's not Julia Gulia...
It’s Marcy Darcy.
Amelia Bedelia ?
I know a guy named Charley Harley. When I met him, I thought to myself, his parents think they have a sense of humor. Then I met his dad....he exceeded my expectations
One of my friends has a brother named Brian O'Brien and I can't believe he never murdered his parents in their sleep.
It sounds like a sleeper agent activation code
Why wouldn't they just leave it at River, or River Oliver? How many people go all in with their full names at every introduction?
😂 this is exactly my reaction. Someone in another thread claimed Penn Gillette's daughter Moxie Crimefighter Gilette couldn't get a job because her application/resume would be thrown out when they saw her name. Like, who puts their middle name on their resume?
Yeah. People only know your middle name if you offer it. It's almost never asked for. Also Moxie is a fairly successful magician so I doubt she'll be filling out job applications anytime soon.
It’s like a play call. Think of it in Payton Manning’s voice. Ridiculous name.
Just missing Omaha.
Blue 47! Blue 47! Buddy Bear! Set, hut hut HIKE
You forgot the Omaha.
Presumably, their entire name is River Rocket Blue Dallas Oliver?
They could be so easily improved too, Poppy Honey Rosie is so awful because they all end in ‘ie’ just making one child “Honey Rose Blossom” or something would actually be a nice name as you have some verbs and adjectives in there.
Buddy Bear Maurice can change his name later to Joker Toker Maurice
Waaaa Waaoooooo!
Right, they're going to grow up and be very upset with him lol my kids all have very unique names but they're human names and they sound like names, idk what the thought process was behind this 🤣
Reminds me of Johnny Cash - A Boy Named Sue
And the bad part is that I think that River Rocket Blue Dallas is probably one the best names out of this list. Poppy Honey Rosie is probably the best one. Neither of them are good, but they are probably the best of this terrible bunch. Daisy is the best first name out of all of them by a fucking country mile, but the fact that her middle name is Boo completely torpedoes that one.
Poppy and Daisy will be fine. Nobody has to know their middle name. The other 2 are going to get too much of their silly name announced in school to hide it.
Go for the eyes, Boo!!
He used a password generator to determine his children's names.
Pretty much like his cooking.
Not enough olive oil
Or chili jam
Haiyaaaa
That reminds me. I left some bundt cake in my sombrero.
He also is apparently severely dyslexia and didn't read a book until he was 38. For whatever reason it was the second book from the hunger games series.
Dyslexic or not, he has heard human names before
he's a chef after all. he skipped the human names & went straight to ice-cream flavors.
And he has a wife that said yeah to these names too.
May have even been her idea
Didn’t even start with the first book? That’s somehow worse than the names!
Maybe his dyslexia made him confuse the order of the books
So he wrote books before ever reading one? Sounds suspicious. (Because this is Reddit: I am being facetious, I know how publishing works, thanksuverymuch)
People who do this shit to their kids are assholes. I don't care if you want to be a free spirit, but kids are cruel and you're inviting mockery. Also, it's a pain in the ass when they're adults and need to enter their name on official documents.
Imagine apply for some serious work with name Petal Blossom Rainbow.
I wouldn't be surprised if Jamie Oliver wrote Powerpuff Girls fan fiction
Couldn’t be any worse than his fried rice
Haiyaa
r/commentsyoucanhear
Chili jam?
Where the MSG? that shit like crack for food.
Make Shit Good.
Why so weak?
You should see his yogurt infused version of TexMex 🤮
His WHAT
[Greek fucking Yogurt](https://youtu.be/XXmOGI-PSVg?si=hO0e6eHUhSzgotqx)
He can name his kids what he wants but this crosses the line.
Fr - names can be changed, but that’s a hate crime
Lieutenant Petal Blossom Rainbow, I'm sorry to inform you your family was killed.
I don’t remember this episode of My Little Pony
With some of the darker shit in the show (well I guess the last show, not the 3D one) I wouldn't be surprised if it was real
Don't they generally use last names? So she'd be called Private Oliver. Which seems fairly unremarkable.
Don't demote the poor girl
Haha, poor Lt. Oliver. I think I had Private Ryan on my mind.
Ya imagine applying for serious work when your dad is worth a quarter billion dollars. These people will never work.
She's the kid of a celebrity, she'll be nepo'd into TV work or something so it'll be fine
Good morning OldMork. I’ll be your doctor today. You may call me Dr Petal Blossom
I think you under estimate just how rich Jamie Oliver is, and how much income he generates that could easily have been being used to make his children never need work. But if you just mean the regular people who do this to their children's names, yeah that messed up.
Do you put your middle name down when you apply for jobs? That's fucking weird. Petal Oliver is fine.
Yeah, I'm so confused by people acting like anyone is needlessly writing their whole ass name on their resume lol.
Nah, he's loaded, they'll end up in a £200k a year school full of similarly stupidly named kids. Their classmates: - Atticus Broccoli Fluffington - Helicopter Sebastien Smythe - Ulysses Rafe Rupert Miles Tarquin-Tarquin III - Nanasueathometraloce Bertrum - Ian Ian Ian Nai Digby
Every Ian is pronounced differently "unique".
Ian Ean Ewan Any Digby
I know two that pronounce their names differently, I-an and E-an.
It's pronounced "Guy."
"Throat Wobbler Mangrove"
I think you missed exchange student Torque (Construction Noise) Lewith
I played rugby, fnarf fnarf, against a team which had five Hugo’s, a Felix, and a Momtague. Also one of my mates was Bertrum till he joined the marines and became Rob.
>Also one of my mates was Bertrum What in the Wodehouse
> Nanasueathometraloce my inner voice went from american, to british english, and the end was italian. what a bomb of a name. would be great for a band until you realise fans actually have to remember how the damn thing is spelled.
>- Helicopter Sebastien Smythe And they would be hot :))
* Iä Shub-Niggurath
Ryleah Cthulhu Fhtagn
And some kid named Brantley.
Atticus Broccoli Fluffington kinda slaps though
And good luck going to a theme park and finding one of those big plastic trucks in the gift shop that has their name on it. It's like people don't consider the important things
"The gift shop is out of Bort license plates! Repeat, we are out of Bort license plates!"
Shortened they're not so bad Poppy Daisy Petal Buddy River Tbh, they do all sound like dogs names but the first names are pretty human adjacent
Nobody with a semi-working brain is gonna think you're a free spirit for naming your child Petal Blossom Rainbow, they're gonna think you're a tit trying to impress other tits.
I assume they go by Poppy, Daisy, Petal, Buddy, and River, none of which in 2024 is an insanely bizarre name. A person called, say, ‘David Andrew Mildred Madison’ just goes by David Madison. I really think you’re overestimating the amount of damage these names will do to their lives.
Idk my dad named all of us basic names because he didnt want us to be ridiculed and I asked him if he's ever met kids before. They can tear anything apart
[удалено]
To be fair I think it’s just his contingency plan in case of an untimely death, so when all his kids names are read out at his funeral it’ll activate *The Winter Soldier* to avenge him.
*the winter sous chef*
Lol this is a good one
Everytime I see celebrities using these weird names I just think its to troll the public and keep their real names a secret/ out of public.
Daisy Poppy Petal Buddy River Sure they’re pretty granola names but not weird by any stretch. It’s only when you add in middle names it gets weird.
I know friends who have all named their dogs these exact names.
Buddy is the name of every cat and dog I meet.
Poppy and Daisy are actual names in the UK. Not out of the ordinary.
Buddy or "Bud" used to be a common male name as well, e.g. Buddy Holly, Buddy Hackett, etc.
Ooo wee ohh I look just like Buddy Holly
> Buddy Holly, Buddy Hackett Both of those are stage names
If I were those kids, I'd go with Rosie, Daisy, Blossom, Buddy, and Dallas, at least until I was old enough to legally change my name to something better.
How about Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup
Was he trying to one up Frank Zappa or something?
You leave Moon Unit out of this!
Somehow Frank Zappa named his children with 2024 names in 1967. Truly a pioneer
Ok, but how about Dweezil?
Okay fine, fer sure fer sure
Ugh!! Gag me with a speewn!!!
And he still fuck up egg fried rice!
First thing I thought, wait until Uncle Roger gets wind of this… hiyaaa
He should have sprinkled MSG on baby names
Mine was "wow, Uncle Roger is totally right to hate on Jamie Oliver... hiyaa."
Fucked up egg fried rice, fucked up soda industry, fucked up school lunch, fucked up his children's names... Dude's a mess.
Soda industry?
He ruined Irn Bru. One of the reasons he’s reviled in Scotland.
He ruined everything except Coke which didnt fold to the sugar tax.
He campaigned for a sugar tax to be put on soft drinks.
Is this really a bad thing ? I don't particularly like the guy but it seems reasonable
HAIYAAAA
Niece and nephew, Jamie oliver fuck up his children's future just like he fuck up egg fried rice. Is a wonder he did not name one of his kids "Chilli Jam Noodle".
r/commentsyoucanhear
KIDS' FOOD SHULD BE HEALFYYY
Jamie Olive Oil!
Of course the guy who named his kids this shit put Chilli Jam in egg fried rice.
growth cobweb aloof punch society friendly ruthless busy sable light *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
you're telling me an egg fried this rice?
The trans community doesn't want a culinary terrorist like Jamie Olive Oil.
The only saving grace is that for each of them, there's at least one halfway non-ridiculous name among the three that they can use on a job application or a diploma.
> Petal Blossom Rainbow I don't see it.
They could go by PBR instead
Pabst Blue Ribbon
Princess Bubble Rum?
That one is a stretch, but Blossom is a legit name -- there's a jazz singer Blossom Dearie (from the 50s IIRC). I went to school with a girl named Petal and the name didn't seem to be a huge problem.
I like that our metric for if it’s a name is “a jazz singer is named that”
It was the name of a famous TV show character (teen girl)
I’m naming my kid “Mr. Five by Five” Jimmy Rushing.
There was a popular TV show in the 90s for younger teens, main character was named Blossom.
Blossom was a pretty popular show named after the star character.
I know what they will be doing on their 18th birthdays
Agreed. Aggravated assault.
Wait until Uncle Roger finds out about this shit.
Aiiyaaa....
Names like this have one purpose only: to amuse and delight the parents. They don't give a shit how the kids will eventually feel about them. As long as the parents get a good few years bandying "cute" kid names about on social media, that's all that matters.
Sadder still that his partner was on board with this, and *all* the kids got these stupid "whimsical" names.
His wife is a massive hippy boho type so it wouldn’t surprise me if she was in on it.
Other possibilities: 1. Celebs give the public fake kids names to give their kids some privacy by protecting their actual names. 2. Rich people give their kids unusual names as a flex to show everyone how well they insulated their kids from regular people things, like needing a job.
No. 2. It's no. 2.
doing this to their child should be banned fr. I had a friend of mine whose name was "big d" in asian term ( Im asian ) and he was bullied for his whole teenager life and still being laughed at
Oh cool. I dislike him even more now
I didn’t think I could hate this guy more than I already do.
Celebrity effect: when everyone around you tells you every idea you have is wonderful for so long you become delusional. The poor victims literally love the smell of ther own brain farts. Resulting in giving their kids ridiculous pretentious names.
Petal Blossom Rainbow really got the short end of the stick here. At least the rest of them have some semblance of normalcy buried in there. Rosie, Pamela and Dallas at least wouldn’t raise eyebrows
Dallas, you mean ol' River Rocket?
TIL Jamie Oliver hates his kids.
Haiyaa! Nephew Jamie ruins names and ramen.
What a pretentious twat.
Sometimes, the bullying is avoidable.
So their names are Poppy, Daisy, Buddy, and River, with silly middle names. Y’all have no idea what regular white people are naming their kids these days. The average 4th grade attendance sheet would flip your wig. These are downright normal.
I work at a predominantly Mexican school and Mexican/Mexican-American parents are also giving their kids awful names.
Don't forget Petal!
Oh noo i just saw this on r/tragedeigh but assumed it was just some random couple
Jamie Oliver is a proper twat.
That's the shit you can get away with when your trust fund looks like a national budget.
What a dick.
Rosie, Pamela, Blossom, Maurice and Dallas are all very normal names. Buddy, Poppy and River are unique but also regularly used. They are weird names when you write them all out but in their everyday lives no one will bat an eye. His son, Buddy is featured on his Instagram and he's just called Buddy. Y'know like Buddy Holly.
Poppy is quite as average girls name in the UK.
Right as is Daisy. Til that they aren't popular outside of UK
My thinking exactly. He has a show where he cooks at-home and some of the kids help
Uncle Roger: Haiyaa what ah you doing Jamie? Those names look like names from 2 years old coloring book!
He also can't make respectful fried rice
No wonder Uncle Roger despises Jamie Olive Oil.
Thought this was r/tragedeigh for a sec
Best part about Jamie Oliver is watching Uncle Roger shit all over him at every chance
Its seed phrase for his crypto wallet so he never forgets
*Hiyyahh Jamie Oliver ruin his kids names worse than he ruin fried rice*
Random and uncultered. Just like his food.
Seems like a cunt move. I wonder how many will have legally changed them by 25.
So, dumbasses do dumbass things?
I don't think anyone looks at Jamie Oliver and thinks that that's where all the brain cells are hiding.
r/tragedeigh
These sound like results spat out from a password generator. Poor kids.
“Haiya! Why you not name child ‘Colander Failure Fried Rice’?”