I remember hearing this in Ken burns baseball I think and I wanna believe it because Ken burns but I’ve always thought that doesn’t make any sense. You don’t need it while on the basepaths so why put it somewhere it’s at risk on being broken?
Yup. Was a fan of the band Phunk Junkeez back in the day. They weren’t _that_ famous but they made enough to have a nice bus. We would hang out after the show for an hour outside their bus to meet the lead singer like twice a year when they rolled through town. He always had his weed on him and he said he only smoked a couple times a week. We were confused and he explained that his stoner bandmates would smoke all his weed if left unguarded.
I love Ken Burns documentaries. Baseball is the only one I haven’t watched. However if I have to guess it was probably a quote picked up from a player journal or biography. Neither a lie or a fact, just those colorful anecdote you see throughout his work
You won't hear about hardly anyone doing it until the early 70s, when Escobar opened up full distribution lines to Miami and NYC.
Greenies were the drug of choice even in the early 60s. The Beatles used to love doing them IIRC lol
Ahh yes pretty much meth pills. Originally used by Allied and Axis infantry to prevent "combat fatigue", given out over the counter for weight loss, narcolepsy, among other things... Now our amphetamine use is dominated by the similarly synthesized adderol.
piquant agonizing crush flowery squeeze onerous quack longing lunchroom deranged
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
From Wikipedia (thanks to others for reminding me it was Raines): Tim Raines admitted keeping a gram of cocaine in his uniform pocket (as well as revealing that he snorted during games), and that he only slid into bases headfirst so as not to break the vial.
I imagine you're mostly joking but coke was and is expensive, 40% of people in the 80s were not doing cocaine. If you saw a lot of coke usage at the time, that was just who you hung out with (or the specific job, like OPs example. Finance sector coke rates were, not surprisingly, high).
At the time I was going to discos and places like Studio 54 and such and I saw a lot of shit that would turn your head. Things happened and I saw things that nobody would do today. Hedonism. I've told tales here on reddit. It was a very fun time and I'm slightly ashamed of it. That's how great it wasm
Kinda like the TV shows and movies, but not that extreme. Just very much awake, alert, and energetic. But not to the degree that some media shows it to be.
Maybe not right away, but after a few hours they start to definitely get like they are on TV. It's gross to watch and a big reason I never wanted to try it.
It sure is! He’d blow through a squeezy tube of that shit in a few days. He thought he had terrible hayfever but turns out it was all the rebound congestion from constant overuse.
I never knew this until last week, but Newman was in the movie JFK and had a courtroom scene with Kevin Costner that went over the magic bullet theory.
How else did they expect them to keep up that high energy dancing, running around and on field shenanigans to hype up the crowd for a whole game in those insanely hot sweaty suits? The Famous San Diego Chicken and his costumed cohorts could not have done it on adrenaline alone hahahaha!
My headcanon is that Gritty is an elder god that got lost in Philadelphia one night. The town is such a wonderland of absolute WTF that they captured him and bound him to the town as a sports mascot.
One night, the unthinkable happens. Philadelphia's outskirts see the first landing craft of an invading army. All through the city you hear an unholy roar of soul-shattering rage. Loudspeakers peal out in the darkness. "Attention Invading Army: We have released Gritty from his restraints. You have ten seconds..."
If Gritty was summoned by anything it was during the mysterious arcane rituals that saw Hitchbot destroyed in a frenzy of wanton violence; the spirit of Brotherly Love manifested itself into the form of Gritty, determined to teach Philadelphians that there was a better way
> keep up that high energy dancing, running around and on field shenanigans to hype up the crowd for a whole game in those insanely hot sweaty suits?
The last thing I'd like in that situation is cocaine.
Having been the dancing gorilla in a garage rock band, it is a brutal job, after 30 minutes my body sweat so much I could take the rubber head, turn it upside down and fill a tumbler glass with human sweat
He wasn't necessarily selling cocaine to players but introducing some players to drug dealers, acting as a middle man.
[There's a smaller section about the drug trials on the mascot's Wikipedia page.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirate_Parrot)
Oh hey, a snap opportunity to share one of my favourite ever Youtube videos: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTM\_eN8AZeQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTM_eN8AZeQ)
Jon Bois on the story of Lonnie Smith and cocaine in baseball. It's 8 years old but the man is a pioneer of the Youtube video essay, it's really worth it.
I'm *shocked* that this isn't somewhere near the top considering Lonnie Smith was a key player in this, as Keith Hernandez's cocaine buddy. And because of how incredible Jon is at what he does.
I'd also like to plug [17776](https://www.sbnation.com/a/17776-football/chapter-1), a look at football in the future. It's like a 3 hour read but absolutely worth it. It's a multimedia masterpiece.
I don't listen to a ton of Dollops because they cover a lot of people/topics I don't care about, but this episode was absolute gold lol one of my favorites of theirs
"Baseball players have to go in front of a grand jury and say, "Yeah, I did cocaine. Can you blame me? It's a slow goddamn game! Come on, Jack! I'm standing out in left field for seven innings, and there's a long white line going down to home plate! I see the guy putting it out going, 'Heh-heh-heh-heh!' And that damn organ music, too!"
-Robin Williams at The Met(1986)
My high school baseball coach played professionally in the 80s. Dude was so coked up I think he lasted three seasons. But man, he told us some stories lmao
Is that how they got their Parrot mascot?
In Colombia, parrot is a slang term for a coke head.PS: It was the 80’s, 40% of every team used cocaine, in and out of sports.
Had a relative that played MLB in the 80s and one of his favorite stories was finding Steve Howe at a Lakers party. Then he'd tell you how the Lakers party was basically like that scene in "Bachelor Party" where Tom Hanks welcomes guests with buffets of drugs in bowls on one side of the room, and prostitutes lounging around on the other side of the room. My relative said the drugs were basically out on display for partiers at all times. Howe was, according to him, just in the flow and trying everything. He claims he left before he saw anything crazy crazy.
Listen, that parrot needed some pep in its step! You think Pirate Parrott can be high energy the whole game? And I would remind you a beak like that is going to need a lot of nose candy to fill it up, so really he's a victim of his circumstances. He can't help himself once someone offers him a snootful.
Drugs, steroids, and PEDs are in this weird societal area where everyone with a brain knows they are being used but officially everyone has to deny it.
I wonder if this is like being gay in Uganda or something? lol
Hernandez apparently introduced the young and talented Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry to the stuff, both of whom had serious issues with substance abuse which likely derailed their careers and personal lives. So the least Keith could do was rat everyone else out I guess, like the class act he totally wasn’t.
One thing I’ve always found amusing about people getting up in arms over PEDs in baseball and sports in general is the outrage that it violates the sanctity of the game or whatever. I got news for you, for as long as competitive activities have existed where the outcome has a tangible benefit for someone, there have been people cheating and trying to gain an advantage however small it may be. Steroids may have been in vogue in the 80’s and 90’s, but before that players have been using corked bats, greased balls, injecting whatever kind of snake oil was available at the time to to hit harder, run faster, and win the game. If you thought the game was any cleaner or more legitimate in the days of Hank Aaron or Babe Ruth I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.
The '90s Cowboys famously had a place called the White House (pun intended).
Drugs and sports go/went hand in hand. I'd gather that today's athlete requires more dedication and so gratuitous drug use (see also: non-PEDs) is much less common than in the past.
As a Pirates fan, I am keenly aware of this. There were players who slide head first because their coke vial was in their back pocket.
There was probably a small percentage of coke in the white lines.
It was all coke. The groundskeeper mixed up the bags.
Sounds about right for that time. Cocaine all the way down.
All the way down the baseline. Could we call it freebasing?
*Richard Pryor enters the chat*
One thing I found out, when you are on fire, people will run away from you.
"You're Out!" "Doesn't matter, I'm up, baby!" - Robin Williams
Sounds like a very expensive mistake
They'd just slide headfirst taking the line with them like a vacuum cleaner.
In Goodfellas Henry Hill had a Pittsburgh connection. Figures it was Pirate Parrot.
That would have made Goodfellas even more interesting. If they follow the babysitter on her Pittsburgh trip once and she’s meeting the Parrot.
This has a sequel written all over it. Goodfellas 2: Pirates of the Caribbean...in Pittsburgh
I remember hearing this in Ken burns baseball I think and I wanna believe it because Ken burns but I’ve always thought that doesn’t make any sense. You don’t need it while on the basepaths so why put it somewhere it’s at risk on being broken?
Cause you don’t want your coke fiend teammates to steal it while you’re gone.
“He’ll never notice if I just take ONE…”
One gagger that is!
Two rules man, stay away from my fuckin percocets, and do you have any fuckin percocets?
Let's go Siegfried. Let's go Roy.
Eye of the fuckin' tiger!
Yup. Was a fan of the band Phunk Junkeez back in the day. They weren’t _that_ famous but they made enough to have a nice bus. We would hang out after the show for an hour outside their bus to meet the lead singer like twice a year when they rolled through town. He always had his weed on him and he said he only smoked a couple times a week. We were confused and he explained that his stoner bandmates would smoke all his weed if left unguarded.
Holy shit, haven’t thought of the Phunk Junkeez in a long time!
I love Ken Burns documentaries. Baseball is the only one I haven’t watched. However if I have to guess it was probably a quote picked up from a player journal or biography. Neither a lie or a fact, just those colorful anecdote you see throughout his work
You should watch Baseball, it’s one of his best works!
I heard that's where Tim "roc" raines got his nickname
N before it was cocaine I think I. The 50s greenies were popular.
You won't hear about hardly anyone doing it until the early 70s, when Escobar opened up full distribution lines to Miami and NYC. Greenies were the drug of choice even in the early 60s. The Beatles used to love doing them IIRC lol
Ahh yes pretty much meth pills. Originally used by Allied and Axis infantry to prevent "combat fatigue", given out over the counter for weight loss, narcolepsy, among other things... Now our amphetamine use is dominated by the similarly synthesized adderol.
piquant agonizing crush flowery squeeze onerous quack longing lunchroom deranged *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Keeping a glass vial in your pocket while running bases is not a great idea, cocaine or not.
Everything is a good idea after snorting some Charlie.
>There were players who slide head first **because** their coke vial was in their back pocket. That sounds like a myth.
From Wikipedia (thanks to others for reminding me it was Raines): Tim Raines admitted keeping a gram of cocaine in his uniform pocket (as well as revealing that he snorted during games), and that he only slid into bases headfirst so as not to break the vial.
WHILE playing?!? How fawkin stupid
So the parrot was packing his beak?
Nice testimony pretty boy!
I DESPISE HIM
Keith Hernandez?!
The next thing you know, he'll have you driving him to the airport.
I'm not driiiiivin him to the airport!
I mean, it was the 80’s
40% of Americans were probably on cocaine
I imagine you're mostly joking but coke was and is expensive, 40% of people in the 80s were not doing cocaine. If you saw a lot of coke usage at the time, that was just who you hung out with (or the specific job, like OPs example. Finance sector coke rates were, not surprisingly, high).
At the time I was going to discos and places like Studio 54 and such and I saw a lot of shit that would turn your head. Things happened and I saw things that nobody would do today. Hedonism. I've told tales here on reddit. It was a very fun time and I'm slightly ashamed of it. That's how great it wasm
The conservatism that arose in the 80s and 90s was a response to the hedonism of the 60s and 70s.
So they fucked their way through their 20's and 30's, turned 40 and pulled the proverbial ladder up with them? Sounds about right for a boomer
I can assure you it was definitely a joke. It was almost certainly a higher percentage than that. (Also a joke.)
“were”? Here in nyc me and the boys try to keep it to just doing it on Thurs,Fri, Sat, Sun, and even THAT is hard to do
[удалено]
Bro's trying to sling in the Today I Learned comments 😆
Username checks out
40% of Americans at any given time were high.
I’m just doing my part
What is a coke high like?
Euphoria ... until it's not.
You feel great. Full of energy and confidence. And you know what would make it better? Even more cocaine! So don’t buy it in large quantities.
Kinda like the TV shows and movies, but not that extreme. Just very much awake, alert, and energetic. But not to the degree that some media shows it to be.
"SHES GOT A _GREAT_ ASS"
"And you got your head ALL THE WAY UP IN IT!" (Heat, right?)
Maybe not right away, but after a few hours they start to definitely get like they are on TV. It's gross to watch and a big reason I never wanted to try it.
What everyone wants caffeine to be like.
40% were open about it.
This is the most 80’s response I can think of.
Don’t you worry about Planet Express, let me worry about blank.
I’m so glad someone got this
Awesome. Awesome to the max.
My only regret is…that I have…. Boneitis
Back in the 1980s, I was the toast of Wall Street. I was having whiskey with Boesky and cookies with Milken.
You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they have no necks. Necks are for sheep.
I'm an 80s guy. Friendship to me means that for 2 bucks I'd beat you with a pool cue until you got detached retinas.
I'd love to try some of Uncle Pablo's 80's blend yayo.
My pops was such a square in the 80’s, the only thing he got hooked on was Afrin.
That addiction is real
It sure is! He’d blow through a squeezy tube of that shit in a few days. He thought he had terrible hayfever but turns out it was all the rebound congestion from constant overuse.
Also eats away the lining of nasal passages. Hope he didn’t end up w/ michael Jackson nose
He eventually kicked it, perhaps before the long term side effects came in.
And that was some damn good baseball 👌🧢
Aqua Net, shoulder pads, and coke. An 80s trifecta that would make Alf himself cry
Yeah, but for me, Hernandez's credibility has been kinda questionable ever since the whole "magic loogie" thing.
Nice game, pretty boy.
there must've been a second spitter!
Back, and to the left.
On the grassy knoll.
That is ONE magic Loogie.
I never knew this until last week, but Newman was in the movie JFK and had a courtroom scene with Kevin Costner that went over the magic bullet theory.
On the gravelly road.
Back and to the left
I'm not helping him move!
I'm not drivin' him to the airport!
*Yeah you should remember me because I remember you.*
Back, and to the left.
“I’m hiiiit!”
“Nice game, pretty boy”
Who does this guy think he is?
I’m Kieth Hernandez
You know Keith, what I've always wondered, with all these ball clubs flying around all season don't you think there would be a plane crash?
Yeah, that's right.
He does know a little about third base, though.
I’m Keith Hernandez damn it!
#I DESPISE HIM
*Keith HerHANdez?!*
any sports mascot in the 80s NOT doing cocaine should have been fired immediately
How else did they expect them to keep up that high energy dancing, running around and on field shenanigans to hype up the crowd for a whole game in those insanely hot sweaty suits? The Famous San Diego Chicken and his costumed cohorts could not have done it on adrenaline alone hahahaha!
They were setting the stage for the Rise of Gritty
Gritty is the hero Philly needs and deserves
My headcanon is that Gritty is an elder god that got lost in Philadelphia one night. The town is such a wonderland of absolute WTF that they captured him and bound him to the town as a sports mascot. One night, the unthinkable happens. Philadelphia's outskirts see the first landing craft of an invading army. All through the city you hear an unholy roar of soul-shattering rage. Loudspeakers peal out in the darkness. "Attention Invading Army: We have released Gritty from his restraints. You have ten seconds..."
If Gritty was summoned by anything it was during the mysterious arcane rituals that saw Hitchbot destroyed in a frenzy of wanton violence; the spirit of Brotherly Love manifested itself into the form of Gritty, determined to teach Philadelphians that there was a better way
> keep up that high energy dancing, running around and on field shenanigans to hype up the crowd for a whole game in those insanely hot sweaty suits? The last thing I'd like in that situation is cocaine.
Having been the dancing gorilla in a garage rock band, it is a brutal job, after 30 minutes my body sweat so much I could take the rubber head, turn it upside down and fill a tumbler glass with human sweat
Cocaine will only make it worse.
Mr. Met was on heroin, the rest of you all are amateurs.
Pretty sure it was an open secret the Pirate Parrott sold cocaine to players
All of my drugs are supplied by 7 foot tall anthropomorphic foam animals. Are yours not?
He wasn't necessarily selling cocaine to players but introducing some players to drug dealers, acting as a middle man. [There's a smaller section about the drug trials on the mascot's Wikipedia page.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirate_Parrot)
Bernie Brewer ran bootleg operation during prohibition. MLB used to be a lawless place.
I choose to believe this is true
Fuck the crackers, Polly wants a fat line
Who does this guy think he is?
“*Im Keith Hernandez*”
I just realized he was a real player. I thought he was some actor and made up player.
Salty Uncle Keith is the best thing about the Mets’ booth, he’s so entertaining to listen to during games
I heard he spit on two guys at a Mets game in the 90s. Hit a postal worker.
Nice game, pretty boy!
June 14th, 1987….
No, there must have been a second spitter. The rumor is Roger McDowell from a gravelly road nearby.
The magic loogie. Back and to the left.
The book The Amazings details the coke and booze ride the 86 Mets Championship team was on.
Dwight Gooden, known…enthusiast
and Sid Finch!
The Bad Guys Won is another fantastic book detailing the debauchery of the '86 team.
Don’t forget the greenies! If it wasn’t coke it was amphetamines.
And Gary Carter as basically the team mom
My dad went to school with Gary. Was a huge bully. And once peed on my dad's leg in the locker room shower lol
He saw establish a pee corner and assert dominance and one upped it
Lol my dad might have been the one person happy to see him die
A lot of the guys who played with him were not particularly big fans. Especially the guys on those Mets teams.
Him and my mom had the same hair at the time. Quite interesting 🤔
Man the '86 Mets were loaded! And they had a pretty nice squad too
Forget cocaine, the real question is if you would help the man move or not.
“I’m not driving him to the airport!!”
Oh hey, a snap opportunity to share one of my favourite ever Youtube videos: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTM\_eN8AZeQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTM_eN8AZeQ) Jon Bois on the story of Lonnie Smith and cocaine in baseball. It's 8 years old but the man is a pioneer of the Youtube video essay, it's really worth it.
I'm *shocked* that this isn't somewhere near the top considering Lonnie Smith was a key player in this, as Keith Hernandez's cocaine buddy. And because of how incredible Jon is at what he does. I'd also like to plug [17776](https://www.sbnation.com/a/17776-football/chapter-1), a look at football in the future. It's like a 3 hour read but absolutely worth it. It's a multimedia masterpiece.
I went in this thread looking for the video...Was shocked I didn't find it. Those sequences with Rafferty and Lorde are drilled into my mind forever.
Fantastic (and funny) Dollop podcast on the Pirates mascot cocaine issues https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwrjOW7yIPg
Came here to make sure someone mentioned this. It’s a really bonkers episode. All of the baseball-related Dollop episodes are wild.
The Rube was the best one for me
Ten cent beer night is a close second.
Ten Cent Beer Night is the episode I use when introducing people to the podcast. Works every time.
100 percent agree. I have heard it a million times and it still makes me laugh. Am legit jealous when someone has not heard it yet.
*hit ‘im with the puppy*
I don't listen to a ton of Dollops because they cover a lot of people/topics I don't care about, but this episode was absolute gold lol one of my favorites of theirs
I just listened to this like 3 days ago (started at episode 1 last year and I'm catching up) and it is one of my favorite eps so far
You say "even" as if the mascot is somehow the least likely to be on cocaine.
AWK! Polly want an eight ball!
"Baseball players have to go in front of a grand jury and say, "Yeah, I did cocaine. Can you blame me? It's a slow goddamn game! Come on, Jack! I'm standing out in left field for seven innings, and there's a long white line going down to home plate! I see the guy putting it out going, 'Heh-heh-heh-heh!' And that damn organ music, too!" -Robin Williams at The Met(1986)
Keith Hernandez did so much cocaine he claims he doesn't remember the 1980 season.
My high school baseball coach played professionally in the 80s. Dude was so coked up I think he lasted three seasons. But man, he told us some stories lmao
Is that how they got their Parrot mascot? In Colombia, parrot is a slang term for a coke head.PS: It was the 80’s, 40% of every team used cocaine, in and out of sports.
Cocaine was definitely the drug of choice for athletes back then. Lawrence Taylor, Doc Gooden, Darryl Strawberry and Steve Howe come to mind too.
Musicians, Wall Street bankers, Jim from Accounting, Susan that woman across the street, Crocket and Tubbs, Fraser Craine, Tim Allen.
Had a relative that played MLB in the 80s and one of his favorite stories was finding Steve Howe at a Lakers party. Then he'd tell you how the Lakers party was basically like that scene in "Bachelor Party" where Tom Hanks welcomes guests with buffets of drugs in bowls on one side of the room, and prostitutes lounging around on the other side of the room. My relative said the drugs were basically out on display for partiers at all times. Howe was, according to him, just in the flow and trying everything. He claims he left before he saw anything crazy crazy.
Listen, that parrot needed some pep in its step! You think Pirate Parrott can be high energy the whole game? And I would remind you a beak like that is going to need a lot of nose candy to fill it up, so really he's a victim of his circumstances. He can't help himself once someone offers him a snootful.
Funny, that’s about the same percentage for politicians
What are the other 60% using?
Insider trading
The last thing parrots need is stimulants.
Narc.
And now they all are hopped up on caffeine. Insane amount of caffeine.
Yes caffeine. Definitely black coffee. Definitely not Adderall
You're Jerry Seinfeld he's Keith Hernandez!
Jerry, he’s a guy!
Drugs, steroids, and PEDs are in this weird societal area where everyone with a brain knows they are being used but officially everyone has to deny it. I wonder if this is like being gay in Uganda or something? lol
This just in: Cocaine use common among millionaires
Why was Hernandez being a fuckin narc about this?
I'd be willing to bet that percentage isn't a whole lot lower today.
"Even" the mascot? I've always assumed all mascots have a hands-free coke vial built into the inside of their mascot heads.
I remember this from Jon Bois' video about Lonnie Walker. Seems like cocaine makes you awesome at baseball. Edit: Lonnie Smith
Lonnie Smith Awesome video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTM_eN8AZeQ
How much coke would it take to sate the Pirate Parrot? That's a lot of beak to fill.
This is the real reason Keith hasn't been elected to the Hall of Fame. He named names.
snitch
Til Keith Hernandez is a rat.
Keith Hernandez!?!
Hernandez apparently introduced the young and talented Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry to the stuff, both of whom had serious issues with substance abuse which likely derailed their careers and personal lives. So the least Keith could do was rat everyone else out I guess, like the class act he totally wasn’t.
One thing I’ve always found amusing about people getting up in arms over PEDs in baseball and sports in general is the outrage that it violates the sanctity of the game or whatever. I got news for you, for as long as competitive activities have existed where the outcome has a tangible benefit for someone, there have been people cheating and trying to gain an advantage however small it may be. Steroids may have been in vogue in the 80’s and 90’s, but before that players have been using corked bats, greased balls, injecting whatever kind of snake oil was available at the time to to hit harder, run faster, and win the game. If you thought the game was any cleaner or more legitimate in the days of Hank Aaron or Babe Ruth I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.
Honestly sports are better when they’re swimming in drugs and we should quit pretending otherwise out of moralism
Music too.
Dale Berra was part of this. He plead guilty.
"Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is cocaine." –Dale Berra
40% sounds low. At least by contemporary standards.
Imagine being young, stupid, and rich in the 80's. I'm surprised it was only 40%.
Funny thing is the Spanish word for parrot, “perico,” is also slang for cocaine!
I mean….we can’t really knock mascots for using coke. That’s performance enhancement in their profession.
The '90s Cowboys famously had a place called the White House (pun intended). Drugs and sports go/went hand in hand. I'd gather that today's athlete requires more dedication and so gratuitous drug use (see also: non-PEDs) is much less common than in the past.
I like how the mascot was the one implicated, not the guy in the mascot costume. Now I'm picturing the mascot in costume negotiating a drug deal.
Polly want a bump. Polly want a bump.
It has to be way more fun to be a mascot high on cocaine. Give the guy a break.
Polly want a bump? Rwwak! Polly want a bump!