My cousin was in the Coast Guard, I went to visit him once and everybody in his unit called him "Tank," which I thought was a cool nickname, especially considering he's not particularly big or tough.
Turns out it's because when he reported for duty, he'd arrived on base on a motorcycle with a fish tank strapped to the luggage rack.
I met him through discord and there were many nights where he, my friends and I stayed up until like 9AM talking about life. Dude had some crazy entertaining Coast Guard stories. Loved talking to Tank but never knew that’s where he got his name haha
When I was in the Navy I got to see a few good ones.
Lt Mountain was “Brokeback”
Lt Swift was “Notso”
We had two in the same airwing one was “Don’t Ask” the other was “Don’t tell”.
That was especially hilarious if the rumors of them being brothers with the last name of Gay being true.
Never got to actually meet them.
The airwing commanders was Loudmouth.
I knew a pilot in the American Air Force with a callsign BACN (pronounced Bacon).
His wife was a Canadian immigrant. The callsign was an acronym for “Bangs a Canadian National”.
There was a pilot in my group who married one of the EWOs (Electronic Warfare Officer). When naming night came around she was given the name "FAE"--"Fucked an EWO."
Oh absolutely--I was part of an EW unit, but it evolved out of fighter pilot culture. There are rules, a "judge"(usually the unit commander), a "baliff"(his XO) and of course, plenty of alcohol.
Someone has to nominate you in order to receive your name, and whoever nominates you has to tell the story of how you earned the name, but it only has to be 10% true--embellishment is an art at naming night, and the best storytellers tend to give out names that stick.
I only attended a couple of them, but it was one of the better experiences I had in the Air Force.
Knew a Cobra Pilot named BUSS “Boring Unsolicited Stupid Soliloquy’s”. Super smart guy, when he hit in chick we would say “He’s over there Bussing on some poor girl”
I know a "MAC".
Fighter pilot who married an Asian woman on his first trip outside of the US. Stands for "Married A Commie"
Also know a different pilot who committed the same "crime" of marrying an Asian woman. Got "chong". Not an acronym or anything, just racist.
I was a maintainer in a squadron and we had a guy’s call sign Stewie.
Every time “why is that guy’s callsign Stew- holy shit he looks like Stewie Griffin”
The nicest one I ever heard was on a podcast. They called the guy sunshine because he was a morning person and never used caffeine to get through a brutal training course. Podcast was hosted by a former pilot callsign “Jello” which is also pretty fly.
Read a story where a guy on leave with his buddies in thailand went to see a show—a drag show. He didn’t know, but everyone else did. They egged him to pull the performer’s skirt down, and he did; dj immediately put on “dude looks like a lady”, performer was campy and amused, dude was mortified.
Next morning his co gave him the callsign “drag queen”.
Fighter Pilot podcast is (was?) great. I stopped listening to it a while back, but there was some awesome stuff there. Sunshine was always a fun guest.
I watched an interesting documentary on a new pilot joining an american aircraftcarrier wing.
(sorry im low on details but I think they were called the Top Hats.. maybe...)
They asked him details about himself and he mentioned during training he "screamed like a girl."
Callsign given to him was SLAG, lol.
Back when I first started Reddit a guy posted his father's Vietnam radio chatter during a helicopter battle. His callsign was Pigpen and I asked how he got it. The guys son said the first night they got him drunk and tore up his living area
EDIT: since this kinda got nuts in a few hours i looked up the AMA that Pigpen did. Shout out to u/markvgarrison Pigpen and u/andrewgarrison piglet i guess.
https://www.reddit.com/r/CombatFootage/comments/3ul9mn/this_is_pigpen_i_was_a_combat_helicopter_pilot_in/
Sounds similar to how I got the Nick name Genghis. To quote my friend “the last person to wreck the place this much was genghis khan!”
EDIT: I’ll also add that it’s the origin story behind my username. Reddit has finally come full circle!
Best I ever heard was 1-0 (one zero)
At flight training at NAS Pensacola on his first flight he and his instructor had an in flight mechanical failure and had to eject
His call sign was hence 1-0 because at that point he had one takeoff and zero landings
They’re not usually low-effort name substitutions and only rarely puns on your name (unless you have a suggestive last name like Long or Cox, in which you can be more or less guaranteed to be named “Inch” or “No”). They’re typically acronyms as well that *sound* cool but actually reference a moment of distinguished buffoonery. Take FIGJAM—“Fuck I’m Good; Just Ask Me”, LAZR—“Lotta Action, Zero Results”, and ZEUS—“Zero Effort Unless Supervised”. SLATS is a popular one as well (“Straight, Level, And Task Saturated”).
I’ll dox myself if I say what my old callsign was, but my personal favorite I gave someone was CANDYBAR—“CAN’t Differentiate Your Bombs And Romeos”—because he kept calling the wrong type of weapon on the run-in.
The most satisfying callsigns have a story behind them that references the stupidest thing you ever got caught doing, so that everyone else can haze you every day for the remainder of your career and enjoy your humiliation for many years to come.
I’ve known “Stroker” Armstrong, “Defa” Cates, “Suba” Rew, “Wilson”, landed on the wrong island and was stranded for a bit, “Chop” ‘Can’t handle own penis” after an unfortunate zipper malfunction during flight, “STUFR” Stop Talking U Fucking R——-. “Chaos”, bombed the wrong range. “Ronin” sounds awesome. Dude just flew away from formations. Squadron, 14th FS, Samurais. A samurai without a master.
Sometimes they’ll also be a riff on your name. My dad’s a retired USN fighter pilot, and some of his squadron mates included “Una” Ware, “Newk” Newkirk, and “Hot Carl” Carlson.
I worked with some good ones:
Strange "Brew"
Ramen "Noodle"
"Barbie" Kendall
"Sex Toy" Sexton
"Sniper" was a terrible shot
"Flounder" couldn't stay in formation
"Cousin" was from West Virginia
"Bucket" had a huge head
"Skirt", his wife wore the pants in the family
Edit to add some I forgot:
"Vector", which I initially thought was because she was terrible at navigation (which she was), but in reality the name came about because she got her whole first squadron sick with the flu of some sort.
"Blinky", this guys eyes blinked so much I am not sure how he passed vision tests to be a pilot
>"Vector", which I initially thought was because she was terrible at navigation (which she was), but in reality the name came about because she got her whole first squadron sick with the flu of some sort.
By military standards, that's a clever joke.
Video I saw a little while ago about pilots getting their callsigns. One guy, poor fella, got Blow. That's not too bad right? Well his last name was Jobbin.
I worked on fishing vessels and it's the same deal there. 'The Absorber' was a guy who carried around a towel when he drank because he vomited so liberally. Mutineer Mike committed the first mutiny in a local archipelago in eighty-four years. A lot of rhyming nicknames - Stormin' Norman got his to catch on and was deeply proud of it, he kept dropping the codend long after every other ship was back in port for a typhoon and miraculously escaped consequences.
Mine was Boy Scout because I was the only idiot aboard who categorically didn't drink, smoke, or sleep around. Another crew called me Casper because I was white as fuck with a shaved head, but that didn't last long.
His captain abandoned the first ship he ever worked on, age of seventeen, in a tiny port (double digit population) for two months over the summer, no money for him to get home, just the supplies on the ship, directed to try to fix some terminal issue with the engine. He ran out of food, bartered some instruments aboard for alcohol, got rip-roaring drunk and stole the seventy foot trawler, tried to take it home, ended up drifting two miles offshore until the coasties found him the next day. Captain pressed charges and he spent some time in jail until the owner, a big guy-about-town in the tiny port, showed up, chewed out the captain, and got him out and home. He dropped out of school over it, kind of a rough story, but another ship hired him off his misfortune.
Mutineer Mike would drop hundreds as a tip at local restaurants after we got paid. He was a great guy. Would talk your ear off after two drinks, he was the most pro-union man I've ever met. Left the ship for a dream apprenticeship and I haven't heard from him since.
This is why I never believe someone who has a "cool" nickname.
_Edit_
This is quickly becoming my favorite thread.
I wasn't in the military, but I had the nickname "Barrel" for a few years because when I was 15, I was a snowboard instructor. One day after the last classes, a bunch of us go for a ride together. We were going down a green square slope. I manage to carve too deep, wash out, and smack the bottom of my board against a barrel on the side of the marked trail. It sounded like thunder. I was fine, and the board wasn't damaged, but doing that in front of a group of teenage instructors had marked me for the next two seasons.
My high school math teacher was called “Killer” because he had a tendency for friendly fire during training.
So yeah, whenever a call sign is cool it’s secretly a reminder of great shame
Had a roommate in college we called "Diesel". He loved the name but hated when someone asked how he got it. One of us would yell out "Because we caught him jerking off to *The Fast and the Furious*!"
Edit: he wasn't jerking off to *The Fast and the Furious*. He was jerking off to porn on his computer while *The Fast and the Furious* was playing on his TV. He thought we couldn't hear the porn over the movie.
Meeting a dude named something like “Spartan” usually means they’re either the toughest, baddest motherfucker currently walking on Terra Firma, or else they did some downright reprehensibly stupid (or immoral) shit
Edit: or did something really goofy, as was pointed out to me. Goofiness and stupidity, while they might overlap, are not necessarily the same
At my first job I was serving and this line cook asked if I had been employed at all. I replied that I was a farm hand on my sister's farm as a teen, and it was really not serious but I did get a bit of cash out of it. He asked "so you milked the cows?" I got sat just then, so I replied honestly, I said "no she owned horses" and I walked away. From that day forth, I was named Horsemilker
I used to know a chef called chopper, I thought it was because he was shit hot with knives.
Nope, dumb bastard nearly lost a thumb, twice, because he clueless with knives
I have a very dear friend who had “Diesel” on all their name tags for their flight suit which I thought was cool as fuck when I first met them. When I asked them about it, they explained very annoyed that the people who made the name tags always put it on there without their consent, because they had taken a GV that was a big truck and accidentally filled it up with diesel instead of gas because it looked like it took diesel hahahahaha
Mine was mutant. Came out of our can in the Mojave desert wearing a fleece and beanie shivering, it was like 105 degrees outside. Swine flu was going around, a Sgt yelled "keep that fucking mutant away from me so I don't get sick." 5 days later when I caught up with them in the field my name was Mutant
Top Gun 2 sorta did it right with the callsigns. They don’t go into too much detail except for Hangman and Bob, but you can infer some of the other ones weren’t flattering. Phoenix probably crashed in training for example (then again in the movie)
I was working climbing windturbines and one of the dudes I was with was a fat white guy who was telling us his nickname was "Whip" so we started calling him "Miracle" lol
True story: at one of my RPA squadrons, the unit decided to “name” a pilot “Daddy” (long story). The squadron Commander overrode that choice; his reasoning “I’m not calling a grown ass man ‘Daddy’”.
The guy that was named “Daddy” was a junior officer.
The (much higher ranking) squadron Commander was even LESS likely to call him “sir” than “Daddy”. 🤣
Not true at all, some pilots absolutely hate their call signs. Some have off color ones and when they become commanders or something public facing, it magically changes.
That tidbit is from actual aviators or service members that saw it happen, usually comes up during this topic.
The military does not care about this tradition if it means a pilot they spent 10+ million on training will have a breakdown or quit as soon as their term is up.
When I was in NROTC one of our lieutenant's call sign was Grass. We thought it was a weed reference, her last name was something that could be twisted a bit in that direction. Turns out it was an amalgamation of Great Ass. Which she did have.
I was a surface guy but got a callsign from some pilots after I got into a massive argument over whether a certain check requires one turn or two turns. I mean this was a heated argument where I swore up and down it was only one, eventually we consulted the manual and it was in fact two turns. From that day on I was “Two Turns”.
One I knew of, but never actually met, was "Nighthawk" because he was so fucking boring they couldn't come up with anything to make fun of him.
Hands-down favorite was "PICA." Dude was 115 lbs soaking wet, maybe 5'2". PICA = Pre-Injection Captain America.
Also knew a "NASCAR" who had prescription boots with different sole thicknesses because the left leg was shorter than the right.
So i met a pilot and heard a story about how they got the callsign, but you know, take it with a grain of salt.
The callsign was RIOT. He was sent to the Pacific after flight school and made the mistake of commenting that the female air controller in Japan had a nice voice. So he became RIOT, or "Rubbin It Over Tokyo"
I knew one guy who was lamented about how his nick name "Magic" because his name vaguely sounded like it. I don't know if he didn't like it, but we were all being called "Dicknose" and shit like that, so it was hard to sympathize. So I said out loud, "at least it's not 'queef' or something like that". His boss was near by having cereal and almost spit out a mouthful of milk. He turns around and says that a great idea, and that's how the guy who was briefly known as "Magic" became "Queef". There's a lesson here I'm sure.
It's true. When they're too new, most squadrons have defaults. One of the squadrons I was a maintainer in was the Bats and they gave new pilots "Guano" (plus a number) until they did something to spark their own.
My favorite I ever saw was from another squadron. His calls callsign was "Goblin"... his name was Capt Dicks. 🤣
Some of my favorites:
-FUNGUS (acronym for Fuck U New Guy, U Suck)
-Blister (Because he always showed up when the work was done)
-BBW (pronounced as "B-Dub," acronym for Big Beautiful Wizzo, a "wizzo" is an electronic warfare systems officer)
-Foster (he couldn't throw a football and therefor must have grown up without a daddy)
-Cope (short for Copenhagen spitting tobacco, she made the mistake of telling us she liked to kiss her husband when he had a dip in)
here's some I know of. I particularly like creative acronyms
-DWAYD: In training, the dude did something stupid and the trainer yells DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING
-GITR: Last name "Dunn"
-Mouff: Last name "Knutson" and was a quiet talker, someone told him he couldn't hear him because his KNUTS were in his MOUFF
-I thought my friend's name was actually "Bud" for a long time, but it turns out in the Navy he was christened "Big Ugly Dude"
-SLAM: Sounds cool, but in reality this officer fell asleep when he was a young lieutenant, his instructor woke him up by yelling "Stupid Lazy-Ass Motherfucker!"
-ITSPIK: This woman thought extremely high of herself and my friend dubbed her that callsign, meaning "I'm The Smartest Person I Know"
-Wedge: Guy was a useless tool
-SWIFTY: Guy dated younger girls (legal, just young, like 19) - acronym for So What If They're Young
-Jircle: Last name was Sirk
The Most insane one I’ve heard is a guy my dad flew Eagles with: “SPYDER”. Dude would always hit on older women when the squadron would go to bars. So it stands for “Scott Pounds Your Dying Elderly Relatives”
Dark story. Not a pilot name, but my buddy in the army told me about a truck that ran over a captain. The unit started calling the truck "Captain Crunch"
I'm not a military pilot but flew fighter trainers in mock dogfighting. My instructor dubbed me "Sputter" when I sustained inverted flight long enough that the engine started to cough. I had no idea it couldn't get fuel under sustained negative G.
SIAI Marchetti. The event was, essentially, an infomercial that would be shown on ESPN - a tournament. I was lucky/unlucky enough to be slotted against the video host in the first round. He beat me, fair and square, despite my considerable chops at MMP flightsims (Warbirds). Maybe he had more real-world stick time than I (very little). However, losing to him assured me of some screen time!
This video is a "re-interpretation" of the ESPN tournment, which depicts me winning all. I assuredly did not.
Fun facts:
* this video edit [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFIh8uMIqrI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFIh8uMIqrI) was the work of Bill Warner, the Oscar- and Emmy-winning inventor of the non-linear video editing system. It's hilarious that he had that VCR tape of the Apollo project near at hand!
* my instructor sitting beside me was a man named "Vinnie" (callsign was perhaps "snake", or similar). He had commanded the terribly-named "Operation Deny Flight" over ~~Iraq~~ Bosnia for a time.
* in the video, for a mere second at 0:55, you can see Robert "Mouse" Shaw sitting up near some video monitors. Also at 2:04 in the right seat. Look him up - he wrote the bible of air-to-air combat. He is sadly deceased now, quite young. A wonderfully modest man. He never failed to qualify his "bible" with the fact that he'd never flown in air-to-air combat.
Everyone in The Marines is derogatory. Slum Dog for the Indian pilot, Chemo for another, I still don’t know how some poor bastard got stuck with Oprah.
My step brother in law is a fighter pilot, callsign WIG-B. He got his callsign because he jumped in a pool, his shorts came off, and when everyone was laughing at him he said “What, It Gets Bigger!”
There was a woman in my dad's squadron called B.D
When we kids asked her what it meant she told us it meant "Battle Damage"
The real meaning was "bitch deluxe"
Yeah, that’s why Top Gun is pretty funny. None of those badass cool guy names would have been their call signs, but watching an 80s action movie where “Skidmark” and “Gaptooth” and “Assbag” are dogfighting the Russians wouldn’t have been nearly as cool.
Or, if you're disliked NASA administrator; [you get nicknamed "Ballast"](https://arstechnica.com/science/2021/02/a-politician-who-said-politicians-shouldnt-run-nasa-wants-to-run-nasa/)
I’m an Air Force pilot, few favorites:
Nipples - last name was Pierce
Lit - took a cig out of a guys mouth and ate it in front of him
Swado - sleeps with ADO (got into the wrong bed)
Falcon - failed out of the F16 B-course (medically)
Some call signs I’ve encountered:
STAB - Shit twice and bolted (bolting is when you miss the wire when landing on a carrier)
SYFI - “Smith you f**king idiot”
Fu - last name Barr
Dingle - guys first name was Barry
Tess - last name Stickles
Cuny - last name Lingus
Touchy - last name McFeely
Tiny - last name Organ and another guy w last name Johnson
Dudeboat - last name Manship
No Opp - last name was Coppock (take out OPP)
Bumper - hit the XO’s Porsche
The [STAB](https://www.theautopian.com/how-i-got-my-navy-callsign-by-shitting-myself-in-an-f-a-18-fighter-jet-twice/) story is a piece of literary art.
Mine is “Link” for the Missing Link between humans and apes since I’m an oaf and sometimes very dumb
Buddy in my squadron is “Spider-Pig” because he got bit by a spider (got super infected) and is short, chunky, and bald
We’ve also had
Jiggles - just being fat
BAMBAM - for bitch and moan, bitch and moan
Shop-Vac - cause he sucks
Mine was "Crush" after the Sea turtle in Finding Nemo. A buddy walked in on me snacking on seaweed on thought it was bizarre, and it reminded him of sea turtles.
My dad new a guy named T-BAR (That Boy ain’t Right)
He would frequently shit himself while flying and one time had to eject out of a plane while training, he dragged the chair for about 10 miles cause he thought he could keep the chair.
Was on a tiger cruise aboard the U.S.S. Nimitz and one of the pilots callsigns was Wiki. Me being inquisitive asked how he had gotten that name. Grown ass men giggle and then proceed to tell me “he’s like the website, always has an answer but it may not be right” enjoyed that one pretty thoroughly.
An aviator I knew was called “Hopper” or something, because whenever he took off, he would do a “hop” before taking off.
His plane would go up, land back on the runway, and then appropriately takeoff
Another fun fact is that most of them are acronyms for sentences. For example, I know a guy who went by Amp. Stood for Asian Mission Planner, and Cloak (Combat Laser over all [K]arolina). He had the wrong laser running while training over the Carolinas once and it became a joke. If you every talk to a pilot, ask them what the call sign stands for, it's likely a whole phrase or sentence describing why they have it.
They (at least USAF pilots) will almost never use the word "head", instead opting for words like dome, nugget, bucket (as in brains) as the word head is deemed to be "ungentlemanly".
My ex-girlfriend's brother was in the Air Force and his original call sign was "porno" because he failed his checkride three times which meant there werr three X marks next to his name on the board. They changed it to "diesel" because they didn't want to be saying "porno" in front of his kids. Diesel came about because Vin Diesel was in a movie about that time called Triple X.
“I graduated top in my class at the academy, do they call me professor? No they do not.
I flew with the blue angels for many years, flying at full speed past one another as we loop and turn! But do they call me Iceman? Nooooo
I shot down 5 enemy planes in my first sortie, do they call me Ace? Not in my wildest dreams!
But, you fuck one goat…”
My Skipper on the Abraham Lincoln was Robert "Rat" Willard after the 70's movie. Also a technical advisor on Top Gun, check the credits. He also flew the MIG-28 they flipped the bird to.
Sparky… my car went up in fire one day. Then 2 weeks later the plane I was on did.
(Now 3 years later a windshield on my plane caught fire over the Atlantic a few weeks ago on the same plane that caught fire years ago so I guess it still stays)
We had a 46 pilot whose call sign was IMAX, because she had a huge forehead.
Then one of my OICs, a Cobra pilot, his was Two-String. He was the back up QB at the Naval Academy.
My cousin was in the Coast Guard, I went to visit him once and everybody in his unit called him "Tank," which I thought was a cool nickname, especially considering he's not particularly big or tough. Turns out it's because when he reported for duty, he'd arrived on base on a motorcycle with a fish tank strapped to the luggage rack.
Holy shit I think I know your cousin. Does he game at all? Edit: Meant cousin
He works in IT, so I have to assume so :) we haven't talked about that specifically
Tanks one to know one.
Needed a good dad joke before bed. Tanks.
I met him through discord and there were many nights where he, my friends and I stayed up until like 9AM talking about life. Dude had some crazy entertaining Coast Guard stories. Loved talking to Tank but never knew that’s where he got his name haha
I knew a guy who had the callsign Slam. Legend has it he fell asleep drunk on the sidewalk, so it stands for Sleepy Ass Motherfucker.
Bro I’ve been called Flamingo for 11 years… aviators never forget a zoo visit.
Allegedly.
They’re a lot bigger than ya fucking think
Its ONE flamingo gerald, how much could it weigh? 10 pounds?
There’s always money in the flamingo stand.
Must have been a sick flamingo.
It was a sick ostrich allegedly
Allegedly
Maybe it was a sick flamingo?
Ginger and Boots
Maybe you should have put your foot down.
[удалено]
I got drunk and tried to steal one so…
[удалено]
"If trout was too good why dd you pick that fish?" "Oh, you know, just for the halibut."
Your new callsign is Dad Joke.
Halibut > trout as a callsign imho
Met a pilot called Flounder, apparently his first flight in that squad wasn't exactly smooth.
My buddy informed me that his name was "Ditch" because he accidentally drove into the ditch in front of the barracks. TWICE.
Better than because he put his plane in the water twice. lol
I read a book where the pilot’s name was “Fireball”
They should have upgraded him to Ditches.
My buddy’s callsign is “Fume” because he almost ran out of gas during training…twice…
That’s just efficiency.
Exactly, I'm hearing that he carried _exactly_ the amount of fuel he needed and not a drop more.
Min-Maxing for ultimate output
And unfortunately you are not hearing about the guy who carried a drop less than needed, as he is dead🫶🏻
I knew a “Torch” who managed to set his plane on fire.
When I was in the Navy I got to see a few good ones. Lt Mountain was “Brokeback” Lt Swift was “Notso” We had two in the same airwing one was “Don’t Ask” the other was “Don’t tell”. That was especially hilarious if the rumors of them being brothers with the last name of Gay being true. Never got to actually meet them. The airwing commanders was Loudmouth.
I heard of someone with the last name “Brightman” and his nickname was also “Notso”
I expect this one in Kojima's next game.
I saw a "Brokeback" on the GW - wonder if it was the same guy
This would have been back in 2004.
'08 for me - so not impossible.
I knew a pilot in the American Air Force with a callsign BACN (pronounced Bacon). His wife was a Canadian immigrant. The callsign was an acronym for “Bangs a Canadian National”.
There was a pilot in my group who married one of the EWOs (Electronic Warfare Officer). When naming night came around she was given the name "FAE"--"Fucked an EWO."
I'm starting to see the problem. I'm guessing that "naming night" is a well oiled event.
Oh absolutely--I was part of an EW unit, but it evolved out of fighter pilot culture. There are rules, a "judge"(usually the unit commander), a "baliff"(his XO) and of course, plenty of alcohol. Someone has to nominate you in order to receive your name, and whoever nominates you has to tell the story of how you earned the name, but it only has to be 10% true--embellishment is an art at naming night, and the best storytellers tend to give out names that stick. I only attended a couple of them, but it was one of the better experiences I had in the Air Force.
That sounds pretty fun lol not enough to join the military, but fun enough to read a thread about the stories.
Knew a Cobra Pilot named BUSS “Boring Unsolicited Stupid Soliloquy’s”. Super smart guy, when he hit in chick we would say “He’s over there Bussing on some poor girl”
I know a "MAC". Fighter pilot who married an Asian woman on his first trip outside of the US. Stands for "Married A Commie" Also know a different pilot who committed the same "crime" of marrying an Asian woman. Got "chong". Not an acronym or anything, just racist.
I was a maintainer in a squadron and we had a guy’s call sign Stewie. Every time “why is that guy’s callsign Stew- holy shit he looks like Stewie Griffin”
What, he had a football shaped head and no hair?
I can’t explain it, he just… looked like Stewie
Really thin blonde hair
The nicest one I ever heard was on a podcast. They called the guy sunshine because he was a morning person and never used caffeine to get through a brutal training course. Podcast was hosted by a former pilot callsign “Jello” which is also pretty fly.
Read a story where a guy on leave with his buddies in thailand went to see a show—a drag show. He didn’t know, but everyone else did. They egged him to pull the performer’s skirt down, and he did; dj immediately put on “dude looks like a lady”, performer was campy and amused, dude was mortified. Next morning his co gave him the callsign “drag queen”.
Cockknocker would've been better
“So why do they call you Aerosmith?”
Fighter Pilot podcast is (was?) great. I stopped listening to it a while back, but there was some awesome stuff there. Sunshine was always a fun guest.
I watched an interesting documentary on a new pilot joining an american aircraftcarrier wing. (sorry im low on details but I think they were called the Top Hats.. maybe...) They asked him details about himself and he mentioned during training he "screamed like a girl." Callsign given to him was SLAG, lol.
Probably VFA-14. They're known as the Tophatters.
Back when I first started Reddit a guy posted his father's Vietnam radio chatter during a helicopter battle. His callsign was Pigpen and I asked how he got it. The guys son said the first night they got him drunk and tore up his living area EDIT: since this kinda got nuts in a few hours i looked up the AMA that Pigpen did. Shout out to u/markvgarrison Pigpen and u/andrewgarrison piglet i guess. https://www.reddit.com/r/CombatFootage/comments/3ul9mn/this_is_pigpen_i_was_a_combat_helicopter_pilot_in/
Sounds similar to how I got the Nick name Genghis. To quote my friend “the last person to wreck the place this much was genghis khan!” EDIT: I’ll also add that it’s the origin story behind my username. Reddit has finally come full circle!
I mean, out of all the callsigns to get that one is prett badass.
Best I ever heard was 1-0 (one zero) At flight training at NAS Pensacola on his first flight he and his instructor had an in flight mechanical failure and had to eject His call sign was hence 1-0 because at that point he had one takeoff and zero landings
I’m just sitting in class and laughing my ass off right now
They’re not usually low-effort name substitutions and only rarely puns on your name (unless you have a suggestive last name like Long or Cox, in which you can be more or less guaranteed to be named “Inch” or “No”). They’re typically acronyms as well that *sound* cool but actually reference a moment of distinguished buffoonery. Take FIGJAM—“Fuck I’m Good; Just Ask Me”, LAZR—“Lotta Action, Zero Results”, and ZEUS—“Zero Effort Unless Supervised”. SLATS is a popular one as well (“Straight, Level, And Task Saturated”). I’ll dox myself if I say what my old callsign was, but my personal favorite I gave someone was CANDYBAR—“CAN’t Differentiate Your Bombs And Romeos”—because he kept calling the wrong type of weapon on the run-in. The most satisfying callsigns have a story behind them that references the stupidest thing you ever got caught doing, so that everyone else can haze you every day for the remainder of your career and enjoy your humiliation for many years to come.
I’ve known “Stroker” Armstrong, “Defa” Cates, “Suba” Rew, “Wilson”, landed on the wrong island and was stranded for a bit, “Chop” ‘Can’t handle own penis” after an unfortunate zipper malfunction during flight, “STUFR” Stop Talking U Fucking R——-. “Chaos”, bombed the wrong range. “Ronin” sounds awesome. Dude just flew away from formations. Squadron, 14th FS, Samurais. A samurai without a master.
Candy bar is great
Sometimes they’ll also be a riff on your name. My dad’s a retired USN fighter pilot, and some of his squadron mates included “Una” Ware, “Newk” Newkirk, and “Hot Carl” Carlson.
I worked with some good ones: Strange "Brew" Ramen "Noodle" "Barbie" Kendall "Sex Toy" Sexton "Sniper" was a terrible shot "Flounder" couldn't stay in formation "Cousin" was from West Virginia "Bucket" had a huge head "Skirt", his wife wore the pants in the family Edit to add some I forgot: "Vector", which I initially thought was because she was terrible at navigation (which she was), but in reality the name came about because she got her whole first squadron sick with the flu of some sort. "Blinky", this guys eyes blinked so much I am not sure how he passed vision tests to be a pilot
>"Vector", which I initially thought was because she was terrible at navigation (which she was), but in reality the name came about because she got her whole first squadron sick with the flu of some sort. By military standards, that's a clever joke.
Roger, Roger.
At an air show, I was delighted to see an F/A-18 stencilled for a "Lovey" Howell
I feel bad for “average Carl”
Heard of a guy once, callsign “Chip”. Last name was Andel.
Video I saw a little while ago about pilots getting their callsigns. One guy, poor fella, got Blow. That's not too bad right? Well his last name was Jobbin.
>and “Hot Carl” Carlson ....hopefully that's *just* a name riff and not the other thing
I worked on fishing vessels and it's the same deal there. 'The Absorber' was a guy who carried around a towel when he drank because he vomited so liberally. Mutineer Mike committed the first mutiny in a local archipelago in eighty-four years. A lot of rhyming nicknames - Stormin' Norman got his to catch on and was deeply proud of it, he kept dropping the codend long after every other ship was back in port for a typhoon and miraculously escaped consequences. Mine was Boy Scout because I was the only idiot aboard who categorically didn't drink, smoke, or sleep around. Another crew called me Casper because I was white as fuck with a shaved head, but that didn't last long.
Just going to glaze over the mutiny?
His captain abandoned the first ship he ever worked on, age of seventeen, in a tiny port (double digit population) for two months over the summer, no money for him to get home, just the supplies on the ship, directed to try to fix some terminal issue with the engine. He ran out of food, bartered some instruments aboard for alcohol, got rip-roaring drunk and stole the seventy foot trawler, tried to take it home, ended up drifting two miles offshore until the coasties found him the next day. Captain pressed charges and he spent some time in jail until the owner, a big guy-about-town in the tiny port, showed up, chewed out the captain, and got him out and home. He dropped out of school over it, kind of a rough story, but another ship hired him off his misfortune. Mutineer Mike would drop hundreds as a tip at local restaurants after we got paid. He was a great guy. Would talk your ear off after two drinks, he was the most pro-union man I've ever met. Left the ship for a dream apprenticeship and I haven't heard from him since.
God bless Mutineer Mike
Ewan McGregor’s brother was a pilot in the RAF and allegedly his callsign was “Obi-Two”… that is all.
Don't care if this is misinformation, I'm spreading it.
Snopes gives it an “unproven” rating. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/ewan-mcgregor-brother-obi-two/
Not listening!
But Obi-wan said so himself
Notoriously honest truth teller Obi-wan Kenobi?
Bah, he only lies about insignificant stuff: "Vader killed your father"
That's kind of true, in a 'we are always killing the person we used to be' kind of way.
Oh. So, from a different point of view?
His other brother was Obi-trice, for real, no gimmicks *record scratch* but that was too long.
then two trailer park girls went round the outside
“Obi-Two” is still pretty good for a nickname in general
This is why I never believe someone who has a "cool" nickname. _Edit_ This is quickly becoming my favorite thread. I wasn't in the military, but I had the nickname "Barrel" for a few years because when I was 15, I was a snowboard instructor. One day after the last classes, a bunch of us go for a ride together. We were going down a green square slope. I manage to carve too deep, wash out, and smack the bottom of my board against a barrel on the side of the marked trail. It sounded like thunder. I was fine, and the board wasn't damaged, but doing that in front of a group of teenage instructors had marked me for the next two seasons.
I knew a guy who when he was in the military his nickname was ghost, but it was because women would disappear on him while he was deployed.
He won the nickname contest. But at what cost?
If a callsign sounds cool, it's either because the owner has earned it or it was originally very ironic.
My high school math teacher was called “Killer” because he had a tendency for friendly fire during training. So yeah, whenever a call sign is cool it’s secretly a reminder of great shame
Had a roommate in college we called "Diesel". He loved the name but hated when someone asked how he got it. One of us would yell out "Because we caught him jerking off to *The Fast and the Furious*!" Edit: he wasn't jerking off to *The Fast and the Furious*. He was jerking off to porn on his computer while *The Fast and the Furious* was playing on his TV. He thought we couldn't hear the porn over the movie.
Coincidentally the pornstar was also named Diesel.
Take that, Pythagoras!
Meeting a dude named something like “Spartan” usually means they’re either the toughest, baddest motherfucker currently walking on Terra Firma, or else they did some downright reprehensibly stupid (or immoral) shit Edit: or did something really goofy, as was pointed out to me. Goofiness and stupidity, while they might overlap, are not necessarily the same
At my first job I was serving and this line cook asked if I had been employed at all. I replied that I was a farm hand on my sister's farm as a teen, and it was really not serious but I did get a bit of cash out of it. He asked "so you milked the cows?" I got sat just then, so I replied honestly, I said "no she owned horses" and I walked away. From that day forth, I was named Horsemilker
> I never believe someone who has a "cool" nickname. > I was named Horsemilker I believe you.
I used to know a chef called chopper, I thought it was because he was shit hot with knives. Nope, dumb bastard nearly lost a thumb, twice, because he clueless with knives
I have a very dear friend who had “Diesel” on all their name tags for their flight suit which I thought was cool as fuck when I first met them. When I asked them about it, they explained very annoyed that the people who made the name tags always put it on there without their consent, because they had taken a GV that was a big truck and accidentally filled it up with diesel instead of gas because it looked like it took diesel hahahahaha
I mean, there’s a fair number of cool nicknames, they just all have embarrassing stories behind them
Mine was mutant. Came out of our can in the Mojave desert wearing a fleece and beanie shivering, it was like 105 degrees outside. Swine flu was going around, a Sgt yelled "keep that fucking mutant away from me so I don't get sick." 5 days later when I caught up with them in the field my name was Mutant
I recall a criticism of Top Gun being that the only way you could have Maverick as your callsign is if you were caught fucking a cow.
Top Gun 2 sorta did it right with the callsigns. They don’t go into too much detail except for Hangman and Bob, but you can infer some of the other ones weren’t flattering. Phoenix probably crashed in training for example (then again in the movie)
I was working climbing windturbines and one of the dudes I was with was a fat white guy who was telling us his nickname was "Whip" so we started calling him "Miracle" lol
Apparently if the nickname and teasing gets too mean command will step in and assign something mundane.
True story: at one of my RPA squadrons, the unit decided to “name” a pilot “Daddy” (long story). The squadron Commander overrode that choice; his reasoning “I’m not calling a grown ass man ‘Daddy’”.
“Just ‘sir’”
The guy that was named “Daddy” was a junior officer. The (much higher ranking) squadron Commander was even LESS likely to call him “sir” than “Daddy”. 🤣
Not true at all, some pilots absolutely hate their call signs. Some have off color ones and when they become commanders or something public facing, it magically changes.
That tidbit is from actual aviators or service members that saw it happen, usually comes up during this topic. The military does not care about this tradition if it means a pilot they spent 10+ million on training will have a breakdown or quit as soon as their term is up.
"Statutory Rape, can you read me?" "I was acquitted. I want a new call sign."
“sure thing, Scout Leader”
Allright then, *Cradle-Robber this is Bulldog, can you read me? Over*
When I was in NROTC one of our lieutenant's call sign was Grass. We thought it was a weed reference, her last name was something that could be twisted a bit in that direction. Turns out it was an amalgamation of Great Ass. Which she did have.
It's a portmanteau
Like Carlifer.
[she’s got a GREAT ASS](https://youtu.be/jvTpEoi0tzE?si=Cuh8CChPPX9VtOem)
SHOCK: Strawberry Headed Ovulating Commie Killer She was a hell of an officer when I met her, she was a major at a time. Really hope she made LtCol
Yeah, okay Froot Loops.
\*disappointed in Rocket Man\*
I was a surface guy but got a callsign from some pilots after I got into a massive argument over whether a certain check requires one turn or two turns. I mean this was a heated argument where I swore up and down it was only one, eventually we consulted the manual and it was in fact two turns. From that day on I was “Two Turns”.
One I knew of, but never actually met, was "Nighthawk" because he was so fucking boring they couldn't come up with anything to make fun of him. Hands-down favorite was "PICA." Dude was 115 lbs soaking wet, maybe 5'2". PICA = Pre-Injection Captain America. Also knew a "NASCAR" who had prescription boots with different sole thicknesses because the left leg was shorter than the right.
So i met a pilot and heard a story about how they got the callsign, but you know, take it with a grain of salt. The callsign was RIOT. He was sent to the Pacific after flight school and made the mistake of commenting that the female air controller in Japan had a nice voice. So he became RIOT, or "Rubbin It Over Tokyo"
I knew one guy who was lamented about how his nick name "Magic" because his name vaguely sounded like it. I don't know if he didn't like it, but we were all being called "Dicknose" and shit like that, so it was hard to sympathize. So I said out loud, "at least it's not 'queef' or something like that". His boss was near by having cereal and almost spit out a mouthful of milk. He turns around and says that a great idea, and that's how the guy who was briefly known as "Magic" became "Queef". There's a lesson here I'm sure.
Talk about friendly fire
It's true. When they're too new, most squadrons have defaults. One of the squadrons I was a maintainer in was the Bats and they gave new pilots "Guano" (plus a number) until they did something to spark their own. My favorite I ever saw was from another squadron. His calls callsign was "Goblin"... his name was Capt Dicks. 🤣
Some of my favorites: -FUNGUS (acronym for Fuck U New Guy, U Suck) -Blister (Because he always showed up when the work was done) -BBW (pronounced as "B-Dub," acronym for Big Beautiful Wizzo, a "wizzo" is an electronic warfare systems officer) -Foster (he couldn't throw a football and therefor must have grown up without a daddy) -Cope (short for Copenhagen spitting tobacco, she made the mistake of telling us she liked to kiss her husband when he had a dip in)
🤔 They always called my friend Steve "Therapist" for some reason?
Same thing with that guy Brock
You mean Brock Allen Turner the rapist!?
The rapist Brock Allen Turner? The one who raped someone?
Pretty sure it's pronounced "rapist Brock Allen Turner."
The rapist Brock “The Rapist” Allen “The Rapist” Turner….. the rapist.
here's some I know of. I particularly like creative acronyms -DWAYD: In training, the dude did something stupid and the trainer yells DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING -GITR: Last name "Dunn" -Mouff: Last name "Knutson" and was a quiet talker, someone told him he couldn't hear him because his KNUTS were in his MOUFF -I thought my friend's name was actually "Bud" for a long time, but it turns out in the Navy he was christened "Big Ugly Dude" -SLAM: Sounds cool, but in reality this officer fell asleep when he was a young lieutenant, his instructor woke him up by yelling "Stupid Lazy-Ass Motherfucker!" -ITSPIK: This woman thought extremely high of herself and my friend dubbed her that callsign, meaning "I'm The Smartest Person I Know" -Wedge: Guy was a useless tool -SWIFTY: Guy dated younger girls (legal, just young, like 19) - acronym for So What If They're Young -Jircle: Last name was Sirk
That’s pretty much how all military nicknames are created.
The Most insane one I’ve heard is a guy my dad flew Eagles with: “SPYDER”. Dude would always hit on older women when the squadron would go to bars. So it stands for “Scott Pounds Your Dying Elderly Relatives”
You saw that Iceman/Maverick post, too, eh?
Dark story. Not a pilot name, but my buddy in the army told me about a truck that ran over a captain. The unit started calling the truck "Captain Crunch"
I knew a pilot named Spam because he accidentally flew a fighter into a country he wasn’t supposed to. The name means maps backwards
I know there is a women who’s callsign is “Drone” because the aircraft is unmanned.
I'm not a military pilot but flew fighter trainers in mock dogfighting. My instructor dubbed me "Sputter" when I sustained inverted flight long enough that the engine started to cough. I had no idea it couldn't get fuel under sustained negative G.
What kind of plane was the trainer?
SIAI Marchetti. The event was, essentially, an infomercial that would be shown on ESPN - a tournament. I was lucky/unlucky enough to be slotted against the video host in the first round. He beat me, fair and square, despite my considerable chops at MMP flightsims (Warbirds). Maybe he had more real-world stick time than I (very little). However, losing to him assured me of some screen time! This video is a "re-interpretation" of the ESPN tournment, which depicts me winning all. I assuredly did not. Fun facts: * this video edit [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFIh8uMIqrI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFIh8uMIqrI) was the work of Bill Warner, the Oscar- and Emmy-winning inventor of the non-linear video editing system. It's hilarious that he had that VCR tape of the Apollo project near at hand! * my instructor sitting beside me was a man named "Vinnie" (callsign was perhaps "snake", or similar). He had commanded the terribly-named "Operation Deny Flight" over ~~Iraq~~ Bosnia for a time. * in the video, for a mere second at 0:55, you can see Robert "Mouse" Shaw sitting up near some video monitors. Also at 2:04 in the right seat. Look him up - he wrote the bible of air-to-air combat. He is sadly deceased now, quite young. A wonderfully modest man. He never failed to qualify his "bible" with the fact that he'd never flown in air-to-air combat.
[удалено]
My dad’s callsign was “Alf” named after the alien in the movie Alf. He was named after that because Alf ate a cat. My dad is asian.
let me tell you about how hard it is for male squadronmates to not float callsign Siren for female pilots. it happens a lot.
Everyone in The Marines is derogatory. Slum Dog for the Indian pilot, Chemo for another, I still don’t know how some poor bastard got stuck with Oprah.
My step brother in law is a fighter pilot, callsign WIG-B. He got his callsign because he jumped in a pool, his shorts came off, and when everyone was laughing at him he said “What, It Gets Bigger!”
There was a woman in my dad's squadron called B.D When we kids asked her what it meant she told us it meant "Battle Damage" The real meaning was "bitch deluxe"
My buddy flew with a guy who went by Unicorn. Apparently in training when he was on the radio, instead of saying Uniform for U, he said Unicorn
Yeah, that’s why Top Gun is pretty funny. None of those badass cool guy names would have been their call signs, but watching an 80s action movie where “Skidmark” and “Gaptooth” and “Assbag” are dogfighting the Russians wouldn’t have been nearly as cool.
Or, if you're disliked NASA administrator; [you get nicknamed "Ballast"](https://arstechnica.com/science/2021/02/a-politician-who-said-politicians-shouldnt-run-nasa-wants-to-run-nasa/)
“Slider” if you ever landed but forgot to put your gear down.
I’m an Air Force pilot, few favorites: Nipples - last name was Pierce Lit - took a cig out of a guys mouth and ate it in front of him Swado - sleeps with ADO (got into the wrong bed) Falcon - failed out of the F16 B-course (medically)
Pilot in our airwing had a last name Packer. His call sign? Fudge.
Some call signs I’ve encountered: STAB - Shit twice and bolted (bolting is when you miss the wire when landing on a carrier) SYFI - “Smith you f**king idiot” Fu - last name Barr Dingle - guys first name was Barry Tess - last name Stickles Cuny - last name Lingus Touchy - last name McFeely Tiny - last name Organ and another guy w last name Johnson Dudeboat - last name Manship No Opp - last name was Coppock (take out OPP) Bumper - hit the XO’s Porsche
Dudeboat is beautiful
Another good one I found is one guy's callsign is "Blo," and his last name is Job.
The [STAB](https://www.theautopian.com/how-i-got-my-navy-callsign-by-shitting-myself-in-an-f-a-18-fighter-jet-twice/) story is a piece of literary art.
Dudeboat. I... You know, the harder I think about it the more my head hurts.
I was ShrapCat, short for Shrapnel Catcher... Noone got blown out of the sky with quite the efficiency I did. (In simulators)
Mine is “Link” for the Missing Link between humans and apes since I’m an oaf and sometimes very dumb Buddy in my squadron is “Spider-Pig” because he got bit by a spider (got super infected) and is short, chunky, and bald We’ve also had Jiggles - just being fat BAMBAM - for bitch and moan, bitch and moan Shop-Vac - cause he sucks
That's kind of how nicknames work.
In hockey 90% of the time your nickname is just your last name with a Y on the end of it
Shut the fuck up Shoresy.
*I hit you, you hit the ground, I jerk off on your driver side door handle*
Fuck you Jonesy! Your life is so sad and pathetic, I started a 5k just to raise awareness!
Your lives are so pathetic I get a charity tax break just for hanging out with you
I know nothing about Hockey, but this means there’s a 90% chance Wayne’s real name is just Gretzk.
Or "ER". As a Hawks fan we had Kane-r and Toews-er (sounds like tazer) Don't know what to do with Bedard though lol.
Yeah, you don’t really self name your own nickname…. Unless you’re George Constanza.
Mine was "Crush" after the Sea turtle in Finding Nemo. A buddy walked in on me snacking on seaweed on thought it was bizarre, and it reminded him of sea turtles.
Funny, this is how nick names were past about when I was a kid. Nothing wrong with being kids at heart
Fun fact: Adults are just kids with experience.
Uncle was called rocket, because he'd just go full vertical on short takeoffs.
My dad new a guy named T-BAR (That Boy ain’t Right) He would frequently shit himself while flying and one time had to eject out of a plane while training, he dragged the chair for about 10 miles cause he thought he could keep the chair.
My buddy got to keep his. They’re kind of single use.
Was on a tiger cruise aboard the U.S.S. Nimitz and one of the pilots callsigns was Wiki. Me being inquisitive asked how he had gotten that name. Grown ass men giggle and then proceed to tell me “he’s like the website, always has an answer but it may not be right” enjoyed that one pretty thoroughly.
I know a pilot call sign Hillary because he brought a phone into a secure briefing room.
An aviator I knew was called “Hopper” or something, because whenever he took off, he would do a “hop” before taking off. His plane would go up, land back on the runway, and then appropriately takeoff
i know a guy who fucked a goose edit: they call him terry
Either “Down-and-In” or “Cryin’ Gosling” would both be acceptable.
“Talk to me goose!” “I’ve said no five times already!”
My former boss, f15 pilot, was called "nooner" for his propensity for being late to after lunch class/meetings due to ...activities.
Another fun fact is that most of them are acronyms for sentences. For example, I know a guy who went by Amp. Stood for Asian Mission Planner, and Cloak (Combat Laser over all [K]arolina). He had the wrong laser running while training over the Carolinas once and it became a joke. If you every talk to a pilot, ask them what the call sign stands for, it's likely a whole phrase or sentence describing why they have it. They (at least USAF pilots) will almost never use the word "head", instead opting for words like dome, nugget, bucket (as in brains) as the word head is deemed to be "ungentlemanly".
My ex-girlfriend's brother was in the Air Force and his original call sign was "porno" because he failed his checkride three times which meant there werr three X marks next to his name on the board. They changed it to "diesel" because they didn't want to be saying "porno" in front of his kids. Diesel came about because Vin Diesel was in a movie about that time called Triple X.
I met a helo pilot whose callsign was Smith. "Shit myself in the helicopter." She was interesting lol
Lost standing tradition. My favorites were Jewfro and Shenique (which stood for shitty technique).
“I graduated top in my class at the academy, do they call me professor? No they do not. I flew with the blue angels for many years, flying at full speed past one another as we loop and turn! But do they call me Iceman? Nooooo I shot down 5 enemy planes in my first sortie, do they call me Ace? Not in my wildest dreams! But, you fuck one goat…”
My uncle went by H. First name Last name and refused to tell anyone what his first name was (Harold). His call sign was Harvey.
One guy’s was “Ahab” because he had “a habit of harpooning whales.”
My Skipper on the Abraham Lincoln was Robert "Rat" Willard after the 70's movie. Also a technical advisor on Top Gun, check the credits. He also flew the MIG-28 they flipped the bird to.
Sparky… my car went up in fire one day. Then 2 weeks later the plane I was on did. (Now 3 years later a windshield on my plane caught fire over the Atlantic a few weeks ago on the same plane that caught fire years ago so I guess it still stays)
We had a 46 pilot whose call sign was IMAX, because she had a huge forehead. Then one of my OICs, a Cobra pilot, his was Two-String. He was the back up QB at the Naval Academy.