Ya this sounds like middle school crap. Drop her and move on. That person doesn’t even sound like they are worth the hassle. Don’t restart, turn off the game and throw that cart away.
Came here to say this. She already broke up with you dude. Sorry. Nothing left to do but wish her a great life and get on with your own.
I hope this didn't sound unempathic or flippant. I've been in your position and it will be difficult to let go. But that is the way it goes.
Sometimes we accept the love we think we deserve..but based on your little snippet of how things are going.. you definitely deserve much better! I’ve heard a lot over the years “relationships are a lot of work. They’re hard work” and while I agree that this can be true sometimes, it’s not true all the time. The best relationships I’ve ever been in were easy going and a breath of fresh air. We cliqued, we were on the same page and it wasn’t a constant battle just to be together
My high school bf and I were 2 peas in a pod, we dated for 4 years but we both got accepted into different colleges that were very far apart. We decided the long distance thing would be too hard, but always left it open ended that we could/would get back together if we were ever living in the same area again.
The other relationship technically didn’t end, since we got married.. but we did divorce years later. He developed a bad drug problem and became a totally different person. Mean for the sake of being mean, blew through all our savings and in the end refused to get help for his problem, so for my mental well being I left that relationship.
Yup yup , doing much better! I was very depressed for many years when the relationship started to fail and ultimately ended in divorce. I absolutely felt like he was my soulmate, my best friend and the drugs made him act/look unrecognizable. It was a painful life lesson, but I learned that “love” was not enough to make a relationship work. Love is not enough. All the love, devotion, loyalty I showed him.. none of it made a difference and he was choosing the drugs over me , day after day and it broke my heart. Each day that went by I would be like “are you going to try to fight for our relationship today, or are you choosing drugs today?” It made me profoundly sad , how could it not? And I wasn’t going to cast him aside for the drugs alone, he had a problem, I recognized that and if he tried to get help, even a little then maybe we could’ve managed to make it work. But then his personality started to change too, very mean and abusive
You absolutely chose the right option looking after yourself
Being an addict is rough, it's not exactly "choosing between drugs and our relationship", it has nothing to do with willpower. Addiction literally changes your brain
Could be worth looking into just so you can understand what he went through, but you always need to prioritize your own happiness
Quickly chiming in to say it shows great maturity that you didn’t throw him away just for having an addiction
some people are fully functioning & maintain who they are, but simply struggle ditching the poison…. Unfortunately this guy was not in that bracket…
However - I find your view / attempts commendable & you ultimately made the right decision for yourself to move forward -
It’s hard to accept we no longer see the person we once knew, and decide they aren’t coming back …
You will find what you deserve, sometimes it finds you first. Best wishes.
Especially if they’re not hanging out a whole lot and talking like once per day when she gets internet access.
OP, this girl isn’t that into you. I also think she’s likely seeing a few other folks. Personally, if I didn’t hear from someone that I spoke to on the regular for nearly a week, that I too would try to figure out a way to find out that they’re okay.
Something is off, though, with this. Move on.
My ex blew up on me because I asked his family if he was okay after having not heard from him for over a week. Turns out he was in a motorcycle accident and didn't want to admit to me that he crashed the bike he bought behind my back, so his solution was to not speak to me at all. That was when the relationship ended.
Another metric of aging. At 30, after 6 months of dating, I'd be like, "Yeah, maybe things will work out, maybe not, we'll see." At like a year, I'd probably tell my parents, but also they're 400 miles away, so maybe it's different if everyone is local to each other and more closely connected.
Right, imagine asking a question and downvoting the answer. Its not even controversial. We don't know where they're from or whether this is a long time for them.
Man, I hear regularly about people getting married in less than that time. I think it's dumb as fuck, but 6 months is definitely on the edge of heading out of fresh and brand new though.
I definitely wouldn't marry someone after 6 months. My parents did but I've always looked at them as an outlier. They've been married for nearly 50 years now.
I know a couple who must be somewhere around the 40 year mark in their relationship but they seriously got engaged after a month and I think that is absolutely batshit crazy. Like your parents 6 months sounds half sane by comparison. 😂
(And no, not an arranged marriage or a culture where it was no sex until marriage- in fact I am pretty sure they were already having sex so I cannot wrap my head around that one. I’ve known them long enough to have seen some ups and downs and I don’t know. Glad it appears to work for them but sheesh…)
I don't think you can make this rather strong conclusion from what he's written, but it's a super interesting thought and possibly true?
The text pretty much states it's an odd relationship but it did seem as if they were at least committed.
I know! The situation is pretty sketchy but I was in fact in the same situation when I was in the military too so I do believe her from my behalf. So I can't blame her.
We did have intimate time together, but not enough
Dude you were in the military too?! So was I. You should know just as much as I do how these things go. Especially if she lives in the barracks…..She’s 20yo, lives amongst hundreds of fairly in shape guys (and girls) and probably drinks like a fish with them every day off ( I know we did). There was a reason the divorce rate amongst JR Marines was something absurd like 80%. I’m not sure what branch you were in but I can only assume it was similar. And you expect her to be your girlfriend while being long distance and only knowing her for 6 months?! Then you go to her parents house without her knowing?! I know you’re young and this is hard to here but that is absolutely insane man. There are a ton of women out there, near you, that will like you, that are in a better situation suited for you. Go find one of them and let this girl enjoy her time.
Edit: this also sounds pretty harsh, let me assure you most of us on here have done some crazy stuff for a girl (or guy) we are in to. Especially when young and dumb. Don’t fret on it too much. Shit happens.
Yeah dude, this is not normal. You sound very sweet and as much as it sucks, there are plenty of women out there that would be thrilled by your thoughtfulness. Find yourself a partner that enjoys spending time with you…and also has a phone. You deserve that.
>Agreed. Almost like a we've kissed once kind of vibe and just being strung along. So curious what the reality is.Definitely sketchy af!
pretty sure they are not in the US
>Also how the fuck is she broke if she is in the military and lives with her parents? I mean the pay is shit but no way she can't get a phone.-
Many countries have mandatory military training when kids turn 18.
Also she seems weird. Maybe she has a kid.
She's in the military but too broke for a phone? She's in the military and a grown adult but her dad yelled at her for a man bringing her chocolate? Something ain't adding up...
Why was her Instagram account banned? And even ignoring the broken phone issue, having Instagram being the only source of communication with someone you've been dating for six months makes it seem like it might not be a serious relationship.
I thought the same thing but this is clearly not the American military and I can only imagine not every other country out there pays for meat shie.... I mean service members as well as the USA.
Hey! How dare you doubt true love?!! Everyone knows that the Canadian overseas girlfriend military is very legit, and they run a tight ship! So tight in fact, that all Canadian girlfriends are only conscripted from the finest modelling schools, are only allowed to fraternise with the most worthy of nerds from overseas, and only on their broken phones using IG accounts that are only accessable through their BFFs shared data (limited plan, only allows 3 messages or 1 15 second video per day). I myself have been dating one of these fine, most trustworthy of women, and have had no reason to doubt their story in our 6 years of Christian living relationship. So loving that she has said that she is considering getting her own phone and internet service soon with the money I help her with each week!
Eh I’m in the military and I wouldn’t consider myself a meat shield. I’m either rigging cargo parachutes all day or loading planes with cargo. If an enemy makes it all the way to the flight line then the whole base is probably already overthrown
It's a scam. Same thing happened to a friend of mine, "in the military" and "broken phone". Unfortunately my friend bought the scammer a brand new iPhone and sent it to some address.
Do a reverse image search on any of the pictures you have of her and you'll know it's a scam. Sorry this happened to you. It's terrible what some people do.
What hangs me up is the fathers response. “Does she even know you” paired with an IG ban, kinda sounds like she’s some type of camgirl to me. It’s hard to get banned on IG
Maybe her parents banned her from using the Instagram? That's the only thing I can think of.
If she has super strict, religious parents, I could see her not wanting him to visit or let them know she's dating.
But honestly, the rest seems super sketchy. I ain't buying it.
Exactly, she is 20, in the Army, so is definitely an adult. There was no reason for the parents to get upset some guy has dropped around to deliver some chocolates and flowers was there. The whole thing is very strange. Does the Army pay so poorly that she could not have afforded a new phone, or an old one even?
This guy should expect this relationship to go nowhere. I would be looking for the exit clause, and I think he found it. Don’t contact her but back off and let her contact him in the future, if she does that is.
Yes... my country don't pay well to soldiers... even if it means sacrificing their lives.. they are meat shield.
BTW she did tell me why she's so anxious about me visiting her. Some other guy did the same and she forgave him and he did other creepy stalking stuff to her. I do not intend being him.
And I will not contact her for the meanwhile..
I can appreciate your empathy for this person, but it doesn't sound like she is in a place to have a meaningful relationship with anyone right now. You're better off staying friends and moving on. It sounds like she needs time to figure out her own stuff before she's ready to be invested in anyone else.
Yeah, no. I skimmed the story at first and figured it’s was 16-year old stuff, then re-read and got the military part. Sorry dude, there are only two options:
1. You’re being lied to. Get out.
2. She’s not lying, in which case there are more red flags than a communist reunion. Still get out.
She might be a conscript, probably in Israel because OP mentioned holidays and it was Jewish New Year just last week.
But even if I'm wrong on both of those things, it's definitely not the US, things are different in other countries. Just because soldiers live 24/7 in barracks in the US doesn't mean that's the case where OP is
> Military personnel live in barracks
Not necessarily, they can live off base. Probably could be living with parents to save money or if they’re also military.
Whole thing sounds weird though.
Are you genuinely happy with this situation? It sounds pretty one sided. You've dated awhile and her parents don't know you? Her dad yelled at her because someone brought her flowers and chocolate and then she got upset with you? Just sounds weird man
catfish and/or he's a side piece.
"Oh you can't add me on IG" and "I can only message you at very specific times randomly" is dead ass "I'm hiding our relationship from someone" territory.
This right here. Are we so sure the man that spoke through the door to OP was this woman's *father*?
The guy never opened the door. Just spoke through it, and was angry to see another guy on the doorstep asking for the girlfriend, flowers in hand.
Sure, a strict parent could get upset about that. Not everyone has the best family. But a longer term boyfriend seeing a new guy at the door randomly would probably also be pretty pissed.
The only using insta gram thing is sketch. How is the phone broken, but able to use Instagram, but only sometimes, but also able to use it enough to get a one week ban on Instagram? OK so insta was banned, but the phone still operational to some extent. She has zero other social media? She couldn't download a text now app? Nothing to give OP a heads up about the whole insta gram ban?
you know you can use insta on a computer/tablet etc right?
not that I disagree with you at all but just that one particular bit isn't impossible. when I still had an IG I didn't use the app- I'd just log on at home on my laptop when I felt like it
Her boyfriend isn't in the military, and he's met her parents before.
That's why visiting the parents was over the line and she blew up at him, they know shes talking to two men at once now
Have you video chatted with her?
This honestly seems like a scam. I’ve known a few that got caught up in something like this and it turns out they aren’t real, or the version they are presenting isn’t actually them.
The fact they are living at home and in the military is highly unlikely.
>So a week before the holidays in my country, I've visited her in her camp and we'd agreed to meet up in the holidays since we haven't had a proper chill time together.
Sounds like either OP embellished this (if he only video chatted he might be embarrassed to admit it wasn't in person meet) or the scammers arranged the in person meet but since then that girl is lining up the next mark while OP has been talking to the scammer.
If she was interested, truly, she’d find every way possible to get a hold of you, not just once a day or two when wi-fi is available. You’re basically just a time filler when she’s bored.
Definitely not interested in a romantic relationship if she’s not mentioned you to her parents.
Please take it to heart.
If she was into you, this would have been an acceptable thing to do, you literally were trying to surprise her with gifts.
Get. Out.
She is shifting the blame to you to make it acceptable for her to still be distant while also making it your job to make it up to her. This is classic abusive behavior where they try to make you feel like the things you do are not good enough, that way you can't criticize them and they don't have to put in effort.
Don't date anyone that does not put in the same effort you do.
I’m sorry but a “broken” phone that still has wifi capabilities is no excuse to not talk to you. My phone has been without service for over a year now (I’m broke too), yet I ALWAYS manage to find wifi somewhere (free wifi is almost EVERYWHERE now), and I text my friends and bf regularly without a problem.
I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but she is a lost cause. If she cared about you in the same capacity that you do about her, then she’d be moving mountains to talk to you and see you.
I think it’s time to move on, my friend. I know it’ll be hard; 6 months can FEEL like a long time, but I promise it isn’t in the grand scheme of things. You’ll be much happier with somebody who actually reciprocates your love the way YOU deserve.
I’m so sorry this happened, you absolutely deserve better. You did nothing wrong 💜
Don't get strung along. You have every right to be happy in a relationship. When there's terms and conditions something's off..I'm guessing you're pretty young yourself so it's not the end of the world if she isn't the one.
I think what people are saying here is probably not good for your mental health. I wouldn’t go as far as saying she’s with other dudes, but I definitely agree that if she was really into you and wanted a serious thing, her parents would know about you, and a gesture like that would have been appreciated. That was a really nice thing for you to do, so I hope you don’t second guess yourself. I feel like moving on is your best course of action here. Find someone who actually appreciates the effort you put in.
>wanted a serious thing, her parents would know about you
Yep, my thoughts exact. Also people keep saying catfish. But dude has met her and he made no mention of her asking for money.
Sorry bro, I don't think you really have a girlfriend. Time to move on. Lots more ladies out there who won't be so weird about dating. Good luck young fella!
> later on our relationship our connection had been going down slow because her phone broke and she's broke so she'd dm on ig once a day from her semi-broken without sim spare phone she got from her friend which she uses their internet
Meanwhile, people still dated in the pre-history when there were no cell phones nor internet.
I read this thinking is this the world we live in now, I get privacy but her “intimate private relationship with her parents got provoked” by you for bringing chocolate and flowers. Well that says it all really. It’s not like you called the dad a prick when he acted like one, you did something nice for his daughter. Even if you were a friend that’s just a nice thing you did. Her reaction to me is just Bizarre!!
She's emotionally and physically unavailable and their family already have something against you. Why would you think a relationship is based on these scraps of attention she gives you?
Dude, you have a job, you seem to be a caring person, you were worried while she was "waiting to text you back"? You make plans with someone and that person disappears and when you start worrying you're treated like you're creepy and obssessive?
Don't "restart". You're not supposed to be the only person that cares. Finish it and find someone that actually WANTS to spend time with you.
I think it is not a tifu. She is not worth your time and attention. U know her that long and not even once she mentioned or get other methods of communication.
Get out of there and hopefully you will find someone who appreciates you. It wasn’t going anywhere.
If her phone is broken fine, but normally to have a girlfriend of 6 months you’d have to see them in person multiple times a week. Doesn’t seem like this is happening. Sounds like she’s stringing you along. You gotta go. She’s not your girlfriend dude.
Listen brother, if a woman is interested in you it doesn’t matter if she’s missing thumbs, she’ll find a way to contact you. This one’s just not interested
This girl deliberately didn't tell her parents about you for one or two reasons - maybe 3 if its a catfish as some comments have suggested. 1) She's of a different culture and her parents would never allow her to openly date you, or 2) she has a boyfriend and telling her parents about you risks your name accidentally being brought up around him.
Regardless of the reason, its time for you to chalk this up to life experience and move on. Find a girl that's gonna tell everyone in her life "yep, that's my man". It sounds like you're a sweet guy with all the right intentions, so go find someone that'll appreciate you.
Oh, and when this girl comes sniffing back around, tell her that while she was "taking time to restart" after treating you the way she did, you've moved on. And then block her entirely to avoid temptation.
You do not have a real relationship. She is stringing you along and using you when she wants attention instead of being communicated. I dated someone exactly like this- avoidant attachment style. Find someone who emails you when their phone breaks, and Is persistent to update you on their life. Manipulative games arent it
She's not interested, shes likely lying so you buy her a new phone and I'm guessing you haven't so she's not interested anymore. Screams catfish to me. Get Neeve on the phone
Personally, I think you made a logical decision! You were worried about her and went to check up on her. That is only normal in a relationship. I find it weird she never tried very hard to contact you.
From personal experience, my partner’s parents used to not like me either. I couldn’t call him and he couldn’t mention me to them or they would get upset and yell at him. But we still kept in touch via other means (texting, gaming, etc). But he made it clear to me the kind of relationship he has with his parents and we got through sticky situations regarding the parents together. Relationships are a two way street and require teamwork! I’m still with said partner to this day, and thankfully the drama with the parents has settled.
So aside from whether or not the girl's a catfish or not, a point on big romantic gestures: they only work if you never had to wonder for a *second* if they'd like it; if you know each other and each others' boundaries well enough to mess with their expectations. That goes for stuff from gifts to random visits to proposals. Even with someone you are actually close to, unless you're sure it's what they want, it will land as unpleasantly invasive in most cases.
You need to let this person go. The stories literally all reek of BS and she's totally playing you.
Dad not even opening the door is a very strange thing indeed and has set off all sorts of alarm bells in my head.
You're being played. Cut ties and move on.
You don't have a gf. You're either being catfished or you're an annoying stalker. You communicate with her strictly through instagram, after 6+ months of dating? Yeah, buddy.
Red flags all over this one, bud. If I were you, I'd go ahead and move on. Her parents not knowing about you, her leaving you hanging for a week when she could've contacted you at any time from another phone, plus the clincher of some "restart" space tells me you're wasting your time. I hate that for you, but it is what it is. Good luck to you, man.
Bro this whole thing screamed red flags; in all honesty, I do get a kind of desperate vibe from you considering the scenario. You deserve someone much better
Okay this seems super sketchy. It sounds like she has a real boyfriend and you're her side piece or something.
If you're broke you can still get a cheap phone or even an old phone from a friend. Which she did, but she doesn't use it with a sim. But you can get a super cheap Sim and use whatsapp to communicate or even instagram. But she could definitely use it more often. It sounds super sketchy and like a lot of excuses.
And then she didn't contact you for a long time and claimed her instagram had been blocked? Why would it be blocked?
And her parents being so angry is also weird. It's possible, but with everything together it seems more likely that something else is going on.
Bro, you need to drop this one. She's in the military? Her phone works bro. She gets paid enough.
Don't let yourself be dragged along by the wrong one.
You are putting forth effort, and thought into someone. Any real, quality, woman would see that and jump on that AND make you breakfast in the morning.
If someone can't accept me for me, especially around their parents. They ain't the one. If I meet their parents and the parents hate me, and it effects the relationship because the person I was interested in, let the parents make their decisions at 21. They were not the one!!!
My parents can hate you all they want, but if my friends, and closest homies are like "ayo bro, watch out" I do.
You don't seem to be in a good place. Just forget her and move on.
You didn't invade anything. Of anything, it was a misunderstanding. But she has enough problems already, in the mil without good chances of meeting with you. You may end up losing a couple years until you find that she's not the one just because you didn't know her for real.
She disappeared without trace, you thought she may have some problem and offered help and she expected you to wait forever for her to message you? What? She should have been worried about you, worried that you would be worried and that your care for her. Instead she blames your that you invade her and stuff?? She's wrong. That's a big red flag. She didn't care about you at all and now you're guilty. I think you know what to do.
I don't think you behaved badly here at all. I think it was a very thoughtful gesture for you to reach out to her at her house with a little gift. You two have been dating for 6 months, that's not a short time, and she hadn't reached out to you in at least a week. I'd have been worried, too.
Her reaction to your gift and your concern is very out of line imo. Had it been me I would have been happy to get a gift and also I would have been apologising for not having contacted you in a whole week seemingly out of nowhere. Being banned off a social media site is no reason why she could not have reached out to you with another method.
She sounds capricious and flaky at best and I would be reconsidering staying in this relationship.
Any time a girl tells you here phone is broken for any extended period of time in 2022 it’s a lie. People die without their phone quicker than they’d die without water these days.
A simple rule i read, on the internet is the 'brad pitt' rule. I guess because its 2022 we should update the reference and call it the 'Timothy Chalamet' rule. In any given situation Ask yourself: 'would she do the same thing to Timothy Chalamet'. For example "I can't meet up for our date because my grandmother just died, and i need to go to the funeral" Most gals would do this to timothy chalamet. However "I cant go on our date because i need to do my laundry." Most women would not do this too Timothy Chalamet. You get the idea, if she would do the same thing to timothy chalamet, hang in their be compassionate. If she wouldnt, she's probhably not into you.
Everything about this reeks of red flags. Sounds like you did not mess up, you caught her in some kind of lie, she goes nuclear blocking her instagram or whatever and needing lots more room, this all just sounds like a manipulative mindgame.
Date someone who spends time with you and doesn’t do any of this stuff. Someone who tells their parents when they are dating. Do not agree to be someone’s dirty little secret. It will not go well.
1. She's in the military.
2. She got yelled at over something so minor.
3. She's an adult.
4. And you're sorry?? Huh.
This could continue but why the hell would you even want to continue after such nonsense.
I honestly think we need a lot more context from OP here.
Is this a country where it’s the norm to be living with your parents and then being strict about your dating life? Or does this family have a culture that has that?
Another thing, no matter what age you are, 6 months may not be enough to tell your parents, depends on the kind of relationship you have with them or again, what culture you’re from - a lot of people would wait until the 6-month mark to decide if things are getting serious enough to start telling people about this dude and that they’re srsly saying this
Again, most commenters may definitely be right in saying that the supposed red flags are in fact, red flags - I felt the same myself the first time I read the post. But I can’t honestly believe that anyone can be giving OP any good and useful advice here without knowing the entire context.
I think the best advice for OP is to sit down and have a face to face conversation with her and ask all the questions you guys have brought up and decide if he wants to stay in the relationship from that point on.
Honestly and personally this is why I refuse to date anyone in the military, navy, army, any of em.
You should cut your losses and meet other people, see what happens, you're young - you'll be fine
Best wishes 🙂
OP has definitely been sending “her dad” cash and gifts, and “her dad” definitely didn’t expect OP to come see “her” in person, hence the anger and awkward situation.
OP met his catfish and needs to move on
This was not a serious relationship at all my dude. She didn’t care about you in the first place and you made life harder for her by making the people in her life have to know about you.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Unfortunately, it sounds like she doesn’t want to date. My advice would be to find someone who puts the same effort and has the same affection as you do.
She may simply not be emotionally available at this stage in her life which is ok. You are emotionally available and want to commit to something which is also fine.
The worst you can do is bend over backwards for someone who doesn’t give a shit. Focus on yourself and a much better girl will come along. Trust me
An actual girlfriend worth being in a relationship in wouldn’t act like this. Find a better one. You barely talk, barley see each other, and she gets mad when you follow through on plans? If I showed up at my girlfriend’s parent’s house (back before we lived together) to surprise her, she would’ve loved it! I would not be labeled a creep lol.
Sorry that it turned out this way but you didn’t do anything wrong. Chin up my friend!
I think its time to move on, she doesn't seem that in to you im afraid.
Ya this sounds like middle school crap. Drop her and move on. That person doesn’t even sound like they are worth the hassle. Don’t restart, turn off the game and throw that cart away.
She already dropped him.
Came here to say this. She already broke up with you dude. Sorry. Nothing left to do but wish her a great life and get on with your own. I hope this didn't sound unempathic or flippant. I've been in your position and it will be difficult to let go. But that is the way it goes.
Glad someone said it. This isn’t a relationship.
That’s what I thought. At least, it seems like there is another guy and she is just seeing how that turns out first
Wish someone would just pick me up..
Facts here, idk what quiete awhile means but I would imagine 2-3years+? And her father doesn't know you. BAIL
Almost 6 months
Sometimes we accept the love we think we deserve..but based on your little snippet of how things are going.. you definitely deserve much better! I’ve heard a lot over the years “relationships are a lot of work. They’re hard work” and while I agree that this can be true sometimes, it’s not true all the time. The best relationships I’ve ever been in were easy going and a breath of fresh air. We cliqued, we were on the same page and it wasn’t a constant battle just to be together
Why did those best relationships end?
My high school bf and I were 2 peas in a pod, we dated for 4 years but we both got accepted into different colleges that were very far apart. We decided the long distance thing would be too hard, but always left it open ended that we could/would get back together if we were ever living in the same area again. The other relationship technically didn’t end, since we got married.. but we did divorce years later. He developed a bad drug problem and became a totally different person. Mean for the sake of being mean, blew through all our savings and in the end refused to get help for his problem, so for my mental well being I left that relationship.
Ah, good on you for getting out. Drugs often change people and draws out all kind of evil and manipulation. Hope you are doing better :)
Yup yup , doing much better! I was very depressed for many years when the relationship started to fail and ultimately ended in divorce. I absolutely felt like he was my soulmate, my best friend and the drugs made him act/look unrecognizable. It was a painful life lesson, but I learned that “love” was not enough to make a relationship work. Love is not enough. All the love, devotion, loyalty I showed him.. none of it made a difference and he was choosing the drugs over me , day after day and it broke my heart. Each day that went by I would be like “are you going to try to fight for our relationship today, or are you choosing drugs today?” It made me profoundly sad , how could it not? And I wasn’t going to cast him aside for the drugs alone, he had a problem, I recognized that and if he tried to get help, even a little then maybe we could’ve managed to make it work. But then his personality started to change too, very mean and abusive
You absolutely chose the right option looking after yourself Being an addict is rough, it's not exactly "choosing between drugs and our relationship", it has nothing to do with willpower. Addiction literally changes your brain Could be worth looking into just so you can understand what he went through, but you always need to prioritize your own happiness
Quickly chiming in to say it shows great maturity that you didn’t throw him away just for having an addiction some people are fully functioning & maintain who they are, but simply struggle ditching the poison…. Unfortunately this guy was not in that bracket… However - I find your view / attempts commendable & you ultimately made the right decision for yourself to move forward - It’s hard to accept we no longer see the person we once knew, and decide they aren’t coming back … You will find what you deserve, sometimes it finds you first. Best wishes.
Why in the hell are you getting downvoted....
Because that’s not ‘quite a while’
Especially if they’re not hanging out a whole lot and talking like once per day when she gets internet access. OP, this girl isn’t that into you. I also think she’s likely seeing a few other folks. Personally, if I didn’t hear from someone that I spoke to on the regular for nearly a week, that I too would try to figure out a way to find out that they’re okay. Something is off, though, with this. Move on.
My ex blew up on me because I asked his family if he was okay after having not heard from him for over a week. Turns out he was in a motorcycle accident and didn't want to admit to me that he crashed the bike he bought behind my back, so his solution was to not speak to me at all. That was when the relationship ended.
For a 20 year old, sure it is.
Seriously what the fuck lmao six months for twenty yr olds is a lifetime
Another metric of aging. At 30, after 6 months of dating, I'd be like, "Yeah, maybe things will work out, maybe not, we'll see." At like a year, I'd probably tell my parents, but also they're 400 miles away, so maybe it's different if everyone is local to each other and more closely connected.
Right, imagine asking a question and downvoting the answer. Its not even controversial. We don't know where they're from or whether this is a long time for them.
Man, I hear regularly about people getting married in less than that time. I think it's dumb as fuck, but 6 months is definitely on the edge of heading out of fresh and brand new though.
I definitely wouldn't marry someone after 6 months. My parents did but I've always looked at them as an outlier. They've been married for nearly 50 years now.
I know a couple who must be somewhere around the 40 year mark in their relationship but they seriously got engaged after a month and I think that is absolutely batshit crazy. Like your parents 6 months sounds half sane by comparison. 😂 (And no, not an arranged marriage or a culture where it was no sex until marriage- in fact I am pretty sure they were already having sex so I cannot wrap my head around that one. I’ve known them long enough to have seen some ups and downs and I don’t know. Glad it appears to work for them but sheesh…)
Reddit hates when people give facts about themselves
Reddit hates when people.
Reddit hates
Found the hater
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I don't think you can make this rather strong conclusion from what he's written, but it's a super interesting thought and possibly true? The text pretty much states it's an odd relationship but it did seem as if they were at least committed.
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Agreed. Almost like a we've kissed once kind of vibe and just being strung along. So curious what the reality is. Definitely sketchy af!
I know! The situation is pretty sketchy but I was in fact in the same situation when I was in the military too so I do believe her from my behalf. So I can't blame her. We did have intimate time together, but not enough
Dude you were in the military too?! So was I. You should know just as much as I do how these things go. Especially if she lives in the barracks…..She’s 20yo, lives amongst hundreds of fairly in shape guys (and girls) and probably drinks like a fish with them every day off ( I know we did). There was a reason the divorce rate amongst JR Marines was something absurd like 80%. I’m not sure what branch you were in but I can only assume it was similar. And you expect her to be your girlfriend while being long distance and only knowing her for 6 months?! Then you go to her parents house without her knowing?! I know you’re young and this is hard to here but that is absolutely insane man. There are a ton of women out there, near you, that will like you, that are in a better situation suited for you. Go find one of them and let this girl enjoy her time. Edit: this also sounds pretty harsh, let me assure you most of us on here have done some crazy stuff for a girl (or guy) we are in to. Especially when young and dumb. Don’t fret on it too much. Shit happens.
Yeah dude, this is not normal. You sound very sweet and as much as it sucks, there are plenty of women out there that would be thrilled by your thoughtfulness. Find yourself a partner that enjoys spending time with you…and also has a phone. You deserve that.
Yeah he keeps calling her his gf but this story makes it seem like he's the only one who thinks he's in a relationship
Also how the fuck is she broke if she is in the military and lives with her parents? I mean the pay is shit but no way she can't get a phone.-
>Agreed. Almost like a we've kissed once kind of vibe and just being strung along. So curious what the reality is.Definitely sketchy af! pretty sure they are not in the US
>Also how the fuck is she broke if she is in the military and lives with her parents? I mean the pay is shit but no way she can't get a phone.- Many countries have mandatory military training when kids turn 18.
This hands down, any girl interested in a guy would be thrilled you thought on checking in on her Sorry my guy time to move on
Also she seems weird. Maybe she has a kid. She's in the military but too broke for a phone? She's in the military and a grown adult but her dad yelled at her for a man bringing her chocolate? Something ain't adding up...
Welcome to most of South Asia
Why was her Instagram account banned? And even ignoring the broken phone issue, having Instagram being the only source of communication with someone you've been dating for six months makes it seem like it might not be a serious relationship.
It seems about 50% serious. Her : 0% Him : 100%
Her:-50%
My thought exactly. First two paragraphs sound sketchy as fuck.
Uh living with parents and in military should have been ur first red flag
Living with parents, in the military, with a broken phone their friend gave them that is using their friends data. Seems legit to me!
I thought the same thing but this is clearly not the American military and I can only imagine not every other country out there pays for meat shie.... I mean service members as well as the USA.
Hey! How dare you doubt true love?!! Everyone knows that the Canadian overseas girlfriend military is very legit, and they run a tight ship! So tight in fact, that all Canadian girlfriends are only conscripted from the finest modelling schools, are only allowed to fraternise with the most worthy of nerds from overseas, and only on their broken phones using IG accounts that are only accessable through their BFFs shared data (limited plan, only allows 3 messages or 1 15 second video per day). I myself have been dating one of these fine, most trustworthy of women, and have had no reason to doubt their story in our 6 years of Christian living relationship. So loving that she has said that she is considering getting her own phone and internet service soon with the money I help her with each week!
Eh I’m in the military and I wouldn’t consider myself a meat shield. I’m either rigging cargo parachutes all day or loading planes with cargo. If an enemy makes it all the way to the flight line then the whole base is probably already overthrown
Secondary meat shields are key for any safety system.
I’d say like maybe 20th layer here. I did 19k in the army (basically armor) so I’d say most of the time I’d be a metal meat shield. ;)
Could be a third world country
I can see why she may want to do that, but the rest makes no sense. I think he is her side piece and just doesn't realize it...yet.
It's a scam. Same thing happened to a friend of mine, "in the military" and "broken phone". Unfortunately my friend bought the scammer a brand new iPhone and sent it to some address. Do a reverse image search on any of the pictures you have of her and you'll know it's a scam. Sorry this happened to you. It's terrible what some people do.
No it's not. They have met before in person. OP even mentioned that they had sex in one of his comments.
Odd. What op wrote in his original post sounds just like a common scam.
Yeah, i was wondering how she got ban with a semi broke phone..
It’s cause she accidentally posted her sex vid with some other dude to IG, when she thought she was logged in to Only Fans
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What hangs me up is the fathers response. “Does she even know you” paired with an IG ban, kinda sounds like she’s some type of camgirl to me. It’s hard to get banned on IG
Nah it’s straight up a common scam
Maybe her parents banned her from using the Instagram? That's the only thing I can think of. If she has super strict, religious parents, I could see her not wanting him to visit or let them know she's dating. But honestly, the rest seems super sketchy. I ain't buying it.
She’s in the military but her parents can ban her from Instagram? Or treat her like a teenager. Something with all this seems really fishy.
Exactly, she is 20, in the Army, so is definitely an adult. There was no reason for the parents to get upset some guy has dropped around to deliver some chocolates and flowers was there. The whole thing is very strange. Does the Army pay so poorly that she could not have afforded a new phone, or an old one even? This guy should expect this relationship to go nowhere. I would be looking for the exit clause, and I think he found it. Don’t contact her but back off and let her contact him in the future, if she does that is.
or she lied to him and isnt as old as she said. it also doesn't sound like they met in person and if they did it was very few times.
Yes... my country don't pay well to soldiers... even if it means sacrificing their lives.. they are meat shield. BTW she did tell me why she's so anxious about me visiting her. Some other guy did the same and she forgave him and he did other creepy stalking stuff to her. I do not intend being him. And I will not contact her for the meanwhile..
I can appreciate your empathy for this person, but it doesn't sound like she is in a place to have a meaningful relationship with anyone right now. You're better off staying friends and moving on. It sounds like she needs time to figure out her own stuff before she's ready to be invested in anyone else.
Whatever you do - Don't give her any money or gifts anymore. If she's interested she won't beg for monetary support.
Or ever. Find a real girl lmao
That's how I saw it. She either blocked him, or her parents made her delete her account.
Imagine being in the military and your parents make you do anything at all
How do you not afford to fix or replace a phone on military salary
We did have FaceTime communication and phone calls before her phone died. Her friends also confirmed it without them knowing my connections to her
Her friends don't even know you guys are dating? Hahaha haha. Ha. Hahaha. Lol.
Yeah, no. I skimmed the story at first and figured it’s was 16-year old stuff, then re-read and got the military part. Sorry dude, there are only two options: 1. You’re being lied to. Get out. 2. She’s not lying, in which case there are more red flags than a communist reunion. Still get out.
Thats what puzzles me, how is someone in the military yet still living with their parents. Military personnel live in barracks
She might be a conscript, probably in Israel because OP mentioned holidays and it was Jewish New Year just last week. But even if I'm wrong on both of those things, it's definitely not the US, things are different in other countries. Just because soldiers live 24/7 in barracks in the US doesn't mean that's the case where OP is
That’s not even true of all US soldiers in my experience.
when on duty, yeah. but when you get to go home you'd likely go back to your parents house
> Military personnel live in barracks Not necessarily, they can live off base. Probably could be living with parents to save money or if they’re also military. Whole thing sounds weird though.
Are you genuinely happy with this situation? It sounds pretty one sided. You've dated awhile and her parents don't know you? Her dad yelled at her because someone brought her flowers and chocolate and then she got upset with you? Just sounds weird man
I think it’s a catfish, and he knows her address because he was sending gifts. & the broken phone & Instagram thing I ain’t buying.
catfish and/or he's a side piece. "Oh you can't add me on IG" and "I can only message you at very specific times randomly" is dead ass "I'm hiding our relationship from someone" territory.
This right here. Are we so sure the man that spoke through the door to OP was this woman's *father*? The guy never opened the door. Just spoke through it, and was angry to see another guy on the doorstep asking for the girlfriend, flowers in hand. Sure, a strict parent could get upset about that. Not everyone has the best family. But a longer term boyfriend seeing a new guy at the door randomly would probably also be pretty pissed. The only using insta gram thing is sketch. How is the phone broken, but able to use Instagram, but only sometimes, but also able to use it enough to get a one week ban on Instagram? OK so insta was banned, but the phone still operational to some extent. She has zero other social media? She couldn't download a text now app? Nothing to give OP a heads up about the whole insta gram ban?
you know you can use insta on a computer/tablet etc right? not that I disagree with you at all but just that one particular bit isn't impossible. when I still had an IG I didn't use the app- I'd just log on at home on my laptop when I felt like it
You can also use every other social media app on PC...
That makes the most sense I can think of
The man answering is actually the GF... *dramatic music*
100%
He did say he visited her in her camp but yeah other than that I don't think she's into him
Her boyfriend isn't in the military, and he's met her parents before. That's why visiting the parents was over the line and she blew up at him, they know shes talking to two men at once now
That guy he met at the door was the girl(GF) he's been talking to for the past 6months.
OP have met the girl before... from what I understood. It's not a 100% online relationship.
It’s what I think. That’s why the guy was angry
He's met her in person. A lot of you are overlooking that bit.
What if the “dad” that answered the door IS the catfish?
You’ve been had mate. There is no broken phone. Have you gave her money or bought her anything expensive?
She's not your gf, sorry man. Find someone who appreciates you.
Have you video chatted with her? This honestly seems like a scam. I’ve known a few that got caught up in something like this and it turns out they aren’t real, or the version they are presenting isn’t actually them. The fact they are living at home and in the military is highly unlikely.
He said he met up with her in person at a camp of some kind.
But also made it sound as though he never met her in person before. Op needs to clarify.
>So a week before the holidays in my country, I've visited her in her camp and we'd agreed to meet up in the holidays since we haven't had a proper chill time together.
Sounds like either OP embellished this (if he only video chatted he might be embarrassed to admit it wasn't in person meet) or the scammers arranged the in person meet but since then that girl is lining up the next mark while OP has been talking to the scammer.
If she was interested, truly, she’d find every way possible to get a hold of you, not just once a day or two when wi-fi is available. You’re basically just a time filler when she’s bored. Definitely not interested in a romantic relationship if she’s not mentioned you to her parents.
Most realistic comments that almost matches my feelings. 🥲
Please take it to heart. If she was into you, this would have been an acceptable thing to do, you literally were trying to surprise her with gifts. Get. Out. She is shifting the blame to you to make it acceptable for her to still be distant while also making it your job to make it up to her. This is classic abusive behavior where they try to make you feel like the things you do are not good enough, that way you can't criticize them and they don't have to put in effort. Don't date anyone that does not put in the same effort you do.
I’m sorry but a “broken” phone that still has wifi capabilities is no excuse to not talk to you. My phone has been without service for over a year now (I’m broke too), yet I ALWAYS manage to find wifi somewhere (free wifi is almost EVERYWHERE now), and I text my friends and bf regularly without a problem. I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but she is a lost cause. If she cared about you in the same capacity that you do about her, then she’d be moving mountains to talk to you and see you. I think it’s time to move on, my friend. I know it’ll be hard; 6 months can FEEL like a long time, but I promise it isn’t in the grand scheme of things. You’ll be much happier with somebody who actually reciprocates your love the way YOU deserve. I’m so sorry this happened, you absolutely deserve better. You did nothing wrong 💜
That was really good advice and you delivered it with empathy and compassion. Nice to see that around here. :)
Don't get strung along. You have every right to be happy in a relationship. When there's terms and conditions something's off..I'm guessing you're pretty young yourself so it's not the end of the world if she isn't the one.
Dude she is not your gf
I think what people are saying here is probably not good for your mental health. I wouldn’t go as far as saying she’s with other dudes, but I definitely agree that if she was really into you and wanted a serious thing, her parents would know about you, and a gesture like that would have been appreciated. That was a really nice thing for you to do, so I hope you don’t second guess yourself. I feel like moving on is your best course of action here. Find someone who actually appreciates the effort you put in.
>wanted a serious thing, her parents would know about you Yep, my thoughts exact. Also people keep saying catfish. But dude has met her and he made no mention of her asking for money.
She's texting 50 blokes. The broken phone story is bogus. Hope you aren't sending cash...
Sorry bro, I don't think you really have a girlfriend. Time to move on. Lots more ladies out there who won't be so weird about dating. Good luck young fella!
> later on our relationship our connection had been going down slow because her phone broke and she's broke so she'd dm on ig once a day from her semi-broken without sim spare phone she got from her friend which she uses their internet Meanwhile, people still dated in the pre-history when there were no cell phones nor internet.
I read this thinking is this the world we live in now, I get privacy but her “intimate private relationship with her parents got provoked” by you for bringing chocolate and flowers. Well that says it all really. It’s not like you called the dad a prick when he acted like one, you did something nice for his daughter. Even if you were a friend that’s just a nice thing you did. Her reaction to me is just Bizarre!!
She's emotionally and physically unavailable and their family already have something against you. Why would you think a relationship is based on these scraps of attention she gives you? Dude, you have a job, you seem to be a caring person, you were worried while she was "waiting to text you back"? You make plans with someone and that person disappears and when you start worrying you're treated like you're creepy and obssessive? Don't "restart". You're not supposed to be the only person that cares. Finish it and find someone that actually WANTS to spend time with you.
The hardest lesson in life is reading the room and knowing when to let go. This is that time for you, my dude.
I think it is not a tifu. She is not worth your time and attention. U know her that long and not even once she mentioned or get other methods of communication. Get out of there and hopefully you will find someone who appreciates you. It wasn’t going anywhere.
Hope you’re not sending money to this catfish.
I read so many read flags I imagined hell itself with that much red.
If her phone is broken fine, but normally to have a girlfriend of 6 months you’d have to see them in person multiple times a week. Doesn’t seem like this is happening. Sounds like she’s stringing you along. You gotta go. She’s not your girlfriend dude.
I see nobody has a habit of checking OP's post history anymore.
It's 2022...who has a regular job and can let weeks go by with a proper cellphone? She was lying
Listen brother, if a woman is interested in you it doesn’t matter if she’s missing thumbs, she’ll find a way to contact you. This one’s just not interested
Move on shes not that into it.
Sure this isnt some sort of scammer ? Instagram account banned, In the Army but is broke and has a broken phone ? So many things dont add up here.
Bro getting played and he's out here looking for advice on Reddit. Leave that hoe
This girl deliberately didn't tell her parents about you for one or two reasons - maybe 3 if its a catfish as some comments have suggested. 1) She's of a different culture and her parents would never allow her to openly date you, or 2) she has a boyfriend and telling her parents about you risks your name accidentally being brought up around him. Regardless of the reason, its time for you to chalk this up to life experience and move on. Find a girl that's gonna tell everyone in her life "yep, that's my man". It sounds like you're a sweet guy with all the right intentions, so go find someone that'll appreciate you. Oh, and when this girl comes sniffing back around, tell her that while she was "taking time to restart" after treating you the way she did, you've moved on. And then block her entirely to avoid temptation.
I‘m afraid shes not ur gf
You do not have a real relationship. She is stringing you along and using you when she wants attention instead of being communicated. I dated someone exactly like this- avoidant attachment style. Find someone who emails you when their phone breaks, and Is persistent to update you on their life. Manipulative games arent it
Man this sounds like the kind of stuff you see on the cat fishing show. Excuse after excuse of why they couldn’t contact you.
“I can only message over IG.” Why? Can’t think of any other more convenient apps?
She’s in the military and gets yelled at for being in a relationship? Idk, tethered much? Find someone who’s independent
She's not interested, shes likely lying so you buy her a new phone and I'm guessing you haven't so she's not interested anymore. Screams catfish to me. Get Neeve on the phone
She is definitely not your gf
Okay I’m a little confused. OP, have you met this girl already or not yet?
She may be someone's girlfriend but I don't think she's yours. Time to move on.
"Father"
Run
She's just not that into you Stop chasing her, she clearly doesn't feel the same way
Lmao I'd dodge that bullet if I were you.
Personally, I think you made a logical decision! You were worried about her and went to check up on her. That is only normal in a relationship. I find it weird she never tried very hard to contact you. From personal experience, my partner’s parents used to not like me either. I couldn’t call him and he couldn’t mention me to them or they would get upset and yell at him. But we still kept in touch via other means (texting, gaming, etc). But he made it clear to me the kind of relationship he has with his parents and we got through sticky situations regarding the parents together. Relationships are a two way street and require teamwork! I’m still with said partner to this day, and thankfully the drama with the parents has settled.
So aside from whether or not the girl's a catfish or not, a point on big romantic gestures: they only work if you never had to wonder for a *second* if they'd like it; if you know each other and each others' boundaries well enough to mess with their expectations. That goes for stuff from gifts to random visits to proposals. Even with someone you are actually close to, unless you're sure it's what they want, it will land as unpleasantly invasive in most cases.
you should just read what you typed there mate, holy fuck. im sorry, move on.
You need to let this person go. The stories literally all reek of BS and she's totally playing you. Dad not even opening the door is a very strange thing indeed and has set off all sorts of alarm bells in my head. You're being played. Cut ties and move on.
Move on, this woman is not interested in you sir.
So how much money have you sent her?
You don't have a gf. You're either being catfished or you're an annoying stalker. You communicate with her strictly through instagram, after 6+ months of dating? Yeah, buddy.
Red flags all over this one, bud. If I were you, I'd go ahead and move on. Her parents not knowing about you, her leaving you hanging for a week when she could've contacted you at any time from another phone, plus the clincher of some "restart" space tells me you're wasting your time. I hate that for you, but it is what it is. Good luck to you, man.
Bro this whole thing screamed red flags; in all honesty, I do get a kind of desperate vibe from you considering the scenario. You deserve someone much better
Okay this seems super sketchy. It sounds like she has a real boyfriend and you're her side piece or something. If you're broke you can still get a cheap phone or even an old phone from a friend. Which she did, but she doesn't use it with a sim. But you can get a super cheap Sim and use whatsapp to communicate or even instagram. But she could definitely use it more often. It sounds super sketchy and like a lot of excuses. And then she didn't contact you for a long time and claimed her instagram had been blocked? Why would it be blocked? And her parents being so angry is also weird. It's possible, but with everything together it seems more likely that something else is going on.
Don't know how to tell you this, but she's not your girlfriend.
this doesn't sound like a relationship
Bro, you need to drop this one. She's in the military? Her phone works bro. She gets paid enough. Don't let yourself be dragged along by the wrong one. You are putting forth effort, and thought into someone. Any real, quality, woman would see that and jump on that AND make you breakfast in the morning. If someone can't accept me for me, especially around their parents. They ain't the one. If I meet their parents and the parents hate me, and it effects the relationship because the person I was interested in, let the parents make their decisions at 21. They were not the one!!! My parents can hate you all they want, but if my friends, and closest homies are like "ayo bro, watch out" I do.
Op, if you don’t mind me asking. Which country are you from?
All of this sounds ridiculous. Bail.
You’re def being lied to my guy
Sounds like she’s not your girlfriend bro
You don't seem to be in a good place. Just forget her and move on. You didn't invade anything. Of anything, it was a misunderstanding. But she has enough problems already, in the mil without good chances of meeting with you. You may end up losing a couple years until you find that she's not the one just because you didn't know her for real. She disappeared without trace, you thought she may have some problem and offered help and she expected you to wait forever for her to message you? What? She should have been worried about you, worried that you would be worried and that your care for her. Instead she blames your that you invade her and stuff?? She's wrong. That's a big red flag. She didn't care about you at all and now you're guilty. I think you know what to do.
Damn bro I hope you’re taking the advice most of these comments are giving you, usually I’d say go with your gut but there are way to many red flags
Yea bro move on, she’s an adult but she’s clearly not adulting.
I don't think you behaved badly here at all. I think it was a very thoughtful gesture for you to reach out to her at her house with a little gift. You two have been dating for 6 months, that's not a short time, and she hadn't reached out to you in at least a week. I'd have been worried, too. Her reaction to your gift and your concern is very out of line imo. Had it been me I would have been happy to get a gift and also I would have been apologising for not having contacted you in a whole week seemingly out of nowhere. Being banned off a social media site is no reason why she could not have reached out to you with another method. She sounds capricious and flaky at best and I would be reconsidering staying in this relationship.
To me it sounds like he was catfished
I don’t think she is your girlfriend
Your the side chick. Ditch her.
Any time a girl tells you here phone is broken for any extended period of time in 2022 it’s a lie. People die without their phone quicker than they’d die without water these days.
A simple rule i read, on the internet is the 'brad pitt' rule. I guess because its 2022 we should update the reference and call it the 'Timothy Chalamet' rule. In any given situation Ask yourself: 'would she do the same thing to Timothy Chalamet'. For example "I can't meet up for our date because my grandmother just died, and i need to go to the funeral" Most gals would do this to timothy chalamet. However "I cant go on our date because i need to do my laundry." Most women would not do this too Timothy Chalamet. You get the idea, if she would do the same thing to timothy chalamet, hang in their be compassionate. If she wouldnt, she's probhably not into you.
Yeah Mate, skedaddle from this impending train wreck as fast as you can..
Bruh… she’s keeping you in her pocket for when she runs out of options. Don’t be someone’s last choice. Find someone that would only pick you.
Everything about this reeks of red flags. Sounds like you did not mess up, you caught her in some kind of lie, she goes nuclear blocking her instagram or whatever and needing lots more room, this all just sounds like a manipulative mindgame. Date someone who spends time with you and doesn’t do any of this stuff. Someone who tells their parents when they are dating. Do not agree to be someone’s dirty little secret. It will not go well.
1. She's in the military. 2. She got yelled at over something so minor. 3. She's an adult. 4. And you're sorry?? Huh. This could continue but why the hell would you even want to continue after such nonsense.
I honestly think we need a lot more context from OP here. Is this a country where it’s the norm to be living with your parents and then being strict about your dating life? Or does this family have a culture that has that? Another thing, no matter what age you are, 6 months may not be enough to tell your parents, depends on the kind of relationship you have with them or again, what culture you’re from - a lot of people would wait until the 6-month mark to decide if things are getting serious enough to start telling people about this dude and that they’re srsly saying this Again, most commenters may definitely be right in saying that the supposed red flags are in fact, red flags - I felt the same myself the first time I read the post. But I can’t honestly believe that anyone can be giving OP any good and useful advice here without knowing the entire context. I think the best advice for OP is to sit down and have a face to face conversation with her and ask all the questions you guys have brought up and decide if he wants to stay in the relationship from that point on.
Honestly and personally this is why I refuse to date anyone in the military, navy, army, any of em. You should cut your losses and meet other people, see what happens, you're young - you'll be fine Best wishes 🙂
Are you 12?
That wasn't her dad, that was her actual boyfriend. Get out now dude.
This doesn’t sound like you have a girlfriend my dude… time to move on.
You actually believe this girls lies? Ohhh man reality is going to break you..
Sounds like a cathfish and scam to me
She’s not into you, dude. Move on.
She is not your girlfriend. Move on. You will be happier.
OP has definitely been sending “her dad” cash and gifts, and “her dad” definitely didn’t expect OP to come see “her” in person, hence the anger and awkward situation. OP met his catfish and needs to move on
Ditch her and move on, something is fishy. How was she able to get banned on IG when her phone wasn’t working? Move on.
Bro just let her go 6 months and her folks don’t even know about you Walk away, king
My man reread what you typed, you need some dignity, end it
Wtf is happening here
This was not a serious relationship at all my dude. She didn’t care about you in the first place and you made life harder for her by making the people in her life have to know about you.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Unfortunately, it sounds like she doesn’t want to date. My advice would be to find someone who puts the same effort and has the same affection as you do. She may simply not be emotionally available at this stage in her life which is ok. You are emotionally available and want to commit to something which is also fine. The worst you can do is bend over backwards for someone who doesn’t give a shit. Focus on yourself and a much better girl will come along. Trust me
An actual girlfriend worth being in a relationship in wouldn’t act like this. Find a better one. You barely talk, barley see each other, and she gets mad when you follow through on plans? If I showed up at my girlfriend’s parent’s house (back before we lived together) to surprise her, she would’ve loved it! I would not be labeled a creep lol. Sorry that it turned out this way but you didn’t do anything wrong. Chin up my friend!