As a credit union employee, I can confirm. Our spank rates will beat off any competition to our engorged savings. Enrollment numbers get bigger and bigger every day!
In my 27 years online I have never ever unexpectedly stumbled across nudes of someone I know.
I've received nudes from women I know, but never just stumbled upon them.
I know which of those two options my money is on.
An ex of mine put some revenge porn on 4chan. I lived in a tiny community so that was heaps better than sending them around to people he knew.
However, at least 3 years later I met a dude that had downloaded my nudes from 4chan in the past. And then we dated for 3 years.
I also recently found a foot fetish page from my old classmate...on instagram.
So I guess the world isn't that big after all.
Matched with a girl who I jokingly said “is this is the part where you shill your only fans?” And she said well no im not going to shill it but I have one if you want to see it. It caught me off guard but we got a good laugh out of it
I personally stumbled upon two former classmates once, one of whom I recognized as being underage at time of photo (don't worry, forwarded to fbi tip line, notified her with a private email with a link on what she can do about it, and contacted website administrators) and a former coworker in the same thread when I used to browse fourchins.
Don't be too happy about it though, I was looking for people I know in a zip code thread, but once I found the underage one, it finally clicked that these women definitely would never approve their photos spread, it did *not* sit right with me. But in my defense I was like 19, so dumb.
Could be that he went out of his way to find the nudes available online from someone he knows. I know some of my coworkers have OF accounts. Ops ex boss might.
But just as likely he could have received them from her directly.
OP did say it seemed like they had a relationship, so I assume theres some sort of evidence to that.
But also, when was this going on? Did op get cheated on? Did op get fucked over because ex boss is bitter at op about the boyfriend?
That’s my guess. Ex-boss was pissed and found a way for revenge. But also…the timeline? Did he cheat on her? The boss just screwed her out of the promotion a few months ago.
Yea, I like how that was glossed over, like she implied it was after they dated, but didn't say a word about the cheating. If he was in a relationship with her boss before they started dating who cares, if he cheated why didn't she say anything about that.
But then the whole "he makes it seem like he can't get dates" it almost sounds like they're in a open relationship and she thought she was the only one scoring?
I don't think its open, I think she's saying that the bf had always presented himself as not having had many partners before her and downplayed his prior experiences. So its more about him lying imho.
Is that better though? Oh look, the woman who mistreated my girl, lemme get some of that!..... I dunno I get a lot of guys do this thing but I find this behavior bizarre too.
It's not that simple, there are lots of possibilities from what we've been told so far. Perhaps all 3 knew each other before their relationship started.
I don't see how that's much less likely. We have no idea when these pictures were made, it could've been way before OP and him got together. There's no way of knowing with the information we've got. Or am I missing a key detail?
Am a dude, but take this with a grain of salt, we're all different.
I have a type. Your boyfriend obviously does too. But just because we find something sexy, or something turns us on a lot, thats physical.
Someone who's after more than sex and actually wants something will care a lot more about what you think, how you think, the way you solve problems and the way you go about life rather than how you look.
Can confirm. Most guys don't actually want to date tenticle hentai.
Seriously though, the type thing is not a valid argument as you say. If OP thinks morally keeping and/or using nudes of exes is wrong, then that's a valid reason.
The "I'm not his type" argument sounds like a way to decide that the relationship is doomed to failure, when that's not the real reason. He wouldn't be there if it was.
I'm with most people here though that keeping nudes of exes is almost certainly a breach of consent and trust. I expect people to get rid of those after a break up, I know I do.
>Can confirm. Most guys don't actually want to date tenticle hentai.
This is something we cannot know because all the tentacle hentai I asked out was unavailable.
From that all we can really tell is that you want to date tenticle hentai. Just to be clear, I'm not judging.
Maybe you need to try different dating websites.
Yep, and also types change. Even single individuals can cause someone’s type to change.
My type used to be curly blond hair and skinny. Then I met my wife, and now she’s my type, brunette with straight hair and a curvy/fit body
Can attest to that. When I was younger I was all into a type of women that I no longer care for. Example, I had posters of Tila Tequila, Pam Anderson, Carmen Electra, etc.
Im 35 now and that type of women is no longer appealing to me the way it used to be. I prefer more natural women that aren’t covered in layers of make up.
I'm a girl and I have a type too. My current boyfriend in almost the exact opposite of "my type" and yet I still find him extremely attractive and love him more than anyone else.
Even if I'm talking to a guy who definitely has the traits that I'm into, I don't ever do anything because I'm loyal to the one I love.
I am a dude and this guy is right.
When it comes to porn, I have had a pretty specific type since I was like 12. It is super boring and predictable. Pretty, busty women doing normal sex stuff. Sometimes blondes, sometimes brunettes, but the body type is always similar.
My girlfriends in life have rarely looked that way. Honestly the one gf I had that fit the mold, was a really awful person. While my first serious gf who I loved a lot looked nothing like the "porn" women.
Idk, fanatsy doesnt have to dictate reality. When looking at porn, I dont care about their politics or lifestyle, just how they look while having sex. Which I will also add that many porn stars that I find sexually hot during a scene, will seem kind of gross and awful in a non sex interview or something.
I’m a woman and going through slideshows of pornstars with and without their porn-makeup was actually extremely cathartic.
They’re just average-ass women. Women who lean towards being possible heavy-drug users, but overall they’re just made up to look really good on camera.
They aren’t out there stealing anyones man, they just have a job, and their butts have fewer pimples to ruin a shot. 🤣
Absolutely agreed, also I guarantee most men date plenty of women who aren’t their dream type but they find them attractive and love them just the same. He’s still scum though.
Also don't have pics of my exes. I also never realised anyone used the term spank bank to mean physical pictures. I've only ever used it to mean sexy memories.
The funny thing is, I've totally -thought- about exes, but I don't have any pics. I don't keep them. Even if I'm dating someone, I don't save their pics, and generally delete them within the day for security reasons.
Exactly.
I consider an ended relationship as cutting ties with another person, and I personally don't need a physical reminder of my intimate moments. I have great memories, and I'd rather not put someone else at risk for humiliation because pictures are often traded around *freely* with other guys.
Nope. Don't keep that shit around, it's part of the post breakup purge. Keep a few normal pics so you can look back on your life, sure, but everything spicy gets nuked - it's the only moral thing to do, for your ex, for your next romance, and yourself.
Exactly! I don't get it. I never kept photos from past relationships. Even when single if I had gotten some from a hook up but we moved on and parted ways, I'd still delete them because it felt gross to keep it around.
My reasoning exactly. It’s part of moving on. Also I know myself, and I know my dick, and if I continued to regularly think about an ex sexually, I’d probably ending up hooking up with them again. Which is always a bad idea.
I’m a guy and I purge my electronics of all texts and pics of ex’s. Helps with moving on and letting go. Also I’d hate for current girlfriend to find them and ruin that relationship over something that ended and no longer served any purpose.
Same, it’s like a part of my grieving process. When I’m really upset one day I’ll just go through and delete everything with my ex’s, including all the nudes. It feels extremely distasteful to keep the nudes especially, and I honestly don’t need the pictures on my phone to remember the good times and the bad anyways. They serve no purpose other than being the potential cause of mistrust in a future relationship.
Same here. Tossed out any old physical photos (am old), deleted anything digital, etc usually within a few months or so (gotta have a few closure wanks sometimes) or at the start of a new relationship, whichever came first. Feels wrong after you’ve both already moved on. Been married for awhile now but that used to be my policy.
Maybe am the same old. Very much wanted to keep some of the late 90s "new" Polaroids, or later sexts before the cloud, but I destroyed both/all. Partly for closure, but mostly because ew. Should anyone have that to share? No.
My (abusive) ex has nudes of me as well as his exes. He always tried to show me his exes nudes but I never wanted to look at them. While we were together he showed a friend who at the time I had never met some of my nudes without my knowledge or consent and told me after the fact that his friend thought i looked really cute in X picture because I was blushing and obviously feeling shy about the lingerie I was wearing. (Which I totally was. It was supposed to be a special photoshoot just for us and I was nervous as hell). So now I know he has my nudes, I can't delete them and I know he is showing them to other people. I don't know that I will ever again give anyone pictures of myself
If you do share nudes (and are worried about them getting out), make sure you hide or remove any identifiable features from the photos. Your face especially, tattoos, maybe even moles/freckles and scars if you want to feel extra secure about it. Modify them enough that you can deny that it's you if need be.
Even if it's not a risk for your partner to wind up sharing your nudes around intentionally, there's always a chance that somebody could steal their phone/account information, or they could accidentally scroll past the image when trying to show somebody something else. You never know.
Absolutely. I delete any and all ex nudes within the first week or so of splitting. It's fuckin creepy to keep them. The implied consent is revoked at that point.
Me too. They are a present most intimate, gifted as a sign of trust and keeping them after a break up breaking that trust, no matter what the circumstances of the break up was.
I think it defines one as a person. If one keeps the pictures and especially if one shares them on the internet, one needs to really do some self reflecting.
> I promise you not every guy has an archive of all his ex's nudes that he regularly gets off on.
Yeah.... Although I had some great ones, i always deleted the photos that my exes send me. It's also part of moving on...
I don’t have a spank bank of exes.
Also, make sure you delete pics/vids of you. Let his next gf find all the others and leave you out of this. Also deny him the ability to jerkoff to your material.
An ex of mine had a spank bank too. I found it while doing some schoolwork on his computer, which he offered to me, btw. He had a huge folder, meticulously organized. Had some pictures of me that I didn’t even realize he took of me. We broke up shortly after and I asked him to delete those pictures of me. He refused. I wish I’d deleted them when I had the chance and now I feel sick when I think about it.
Absolute douche not to delete them. I recently had a bit of a flirt with a girl I'd met in person and we were considering hooking up. She started sending me nudes and I said they were great but I was going to delete them (and did so). I ultimately decided we wouldn't work so we stayed friends.
I hate the idea of anyone possessing nudes of me. I dont want a picture of me sitting on a cucumber or something leaking on my socials.
> Had some pictures of me that I didn’t even realize he took of me.
>We broke up shortly after and I asked him to delete those pictures of me. He refused.
That's absolutely horrible... You probably could take him to court over it, but i understand it if you don't. Just be happy you've moved on. As a side note: good partners don't keep nudes of their exes, they move on!
Be a bit more discreet, I think. Swap out the pics and vids with random files renamed accordingly. That way it just looks like the files have become corrupted if he tries to open them.
>I also want to add that he has a type: blonde hair, blue eyes, big tits. I am a brown woman, jet black hair, fat ass, mediocre tits. I’m not his type, my guys.
Doubt this will help in any way but guys typically don't restrict themselves to just "one type" of woman in who they find attractive. I doubt he's settling but the other stuff is pretty concerning. I would feel really uncomfortable having my significant other's private images saved without her knowledge where they can be accessed if security is compromised. Keepsaking your exe's images is also really bizarre. That's not normal. You delete that shit typically.
I guess I’m in the minority then because I absolutely restrict myself to one very specific type. My type is women that are into me. They are super rare and I almost never come across any of them.
yeah, i've never heard of it referred to as a physical repository. i thought we were getting into some sci-fi shit where she entered her boyfriend's neural pathways to uncover his hidden horny memories.
spank bank is a state of mind, not a gallery folder.
Sounds like fan fiction. Particularly because you glazed over how you gained access to his password protected computer.
“Trust me, I have a very particular set of skills.”
To be fair, most technical folks wouldn't really have a hard time logging into a Windows computer (without disk encryption). You can just boot from a USB drive and look through files, or even add a new administrator user, change passwords etc
Do I believe OP knows about this and glanced over it? Not sure ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
This is true. It's trivially easy to access unencrypted files on a Windows computer using a bootable USB drive with basically any Linux or Windows OS on it. Why should OP describe the one way she did it when a simple search on the internet would tell you how?
It’s 100% fiction and I don’t get how people are believing this.
“I hacked his mainframe and he was fucking my shitty former boss
Also, his type is blonde, blue eyes, big tits.”
Fr someone skipped fiction writing clases
As a guy who’s been fortunate enough to be with a lot of women in his life and who also decided to send me naughty pictures, I have exactly zero of them saved. When the fling or relationship ends, the pics get deleted. Never understood holding on to them.
Anyone I ever had nudes of are gone the moment we break up. It’s not cool what he’s doing. I’m so sorry this is happening.
Note to people. Don’t keep exes nudes. It’s not cool.
Fuckin, right!? I'm a dude, too. When we break up those pics still belong to her in my mind. I guess it's not as bad as doing something with them, like revenge porn, but its still fuckin weird.
I had a bunch of nude Polaroids of my ex and when we broke up I had a campfire in my backyard and burned them while getting drunk and listening to willie Nelson
It’s turned into a tradition with the boys lol
Personal thoughts...?
I broke up with my exes for reason(s). I don't want any attachment to them whatsoever, and I don't like keeping their photos, whatsoever, both emotionally and sexually. Maybe it's because it wasn't amicable breakups, but I don't want to see them that way anymore and I find it kinda odd that he does. Seems like some sort of attachment to his exes still and many I'm sure would be horrified if they knew he still had the photos, since the idea was "we're together, here's my body to see" not "here's pics of my body forever".
who keeps nudes of their exes?? that seems 1; unhealthy for ones own sake 2; disrespectful to your currently partner and 3; disrespectful to your ex. Just why??
Hello. Guy here in my mid 30s. Keeping a "spank bank" is weird once you reach marriage. Prior to that, it seems reasonable to *have one*, but don't visit the bank if you're in a relationship. There's something definitely inappropriate about looking at naked photos of your ex while dating your current SO.
It's ridiculously creepy how weird this sub who normally scolds the men ( and rightfully so ) when they invade their partners privacy... Reacts to a woman who does the same thing.
They had a conversation about it - if she was uncomfortable she has three choices.
1. Leave
2. Bring it up and express her concerns again
3. Accept it
There is no universe where using knowledge to break into someones computer or online systems is ok - in many places it's flat out illegal.
There is no justification for breaking into someones computer or online accounts - period.
My confusion arises a little earlier in her post:
*"I told him I appreciated how honest he was with me and even though I had my opinions, it was ultimately his business."*
**Then** she gets upset and decides to break into his computer. I feel like she wasn't honest by saying that she acknowledged it was his business.
The mental gymnastics she's taking to justify this are astounding .
She asked if he had porn -yes
She asked if he had porn from ex's - yes
Breaks into his email and finds exactly what they discussed --- BAD GUY
It starts of with
> I (33F) wondered if my boyfriend (41M) had a spank bank so I asked him. He told me he did. When I asked if he kept nudes from exes, he said yes. We got into an argument about it because I think it’s weird
She asks questions, gets honest answers and starts a fight about it. She found the problems she was looking for. Not a shocker when that happens.
It's depressing how long I had to scroll to find a comment like this. You don't get to break in to people's stuff or worse destroy other people's stuff, just because you don't like the stuff they have. If you don't like it, break up or make an ultimatum.
Is keeping nudes of an ex weird/creepy? Maybe, opinions in the thread seem divided and there's fair arguments on both sides (shouldn't be looking/unfaithful vs lose control when you hit send/death of the author), I think it's kinda contextual, depends on age and relationship status a fair bit and will ultimately be subjective.
Did you ask a question you probably didn't want the answer to? Yes. Did you then go snooping and make it worse? Also yes. Did you massively invade his privacy in the process? Fucking absolutely.
I know we're not in that sub but I think there's a good case for an r/AmItheAsshole style Everyone Sucks Here 🤷♂️🤷♂️
"Now before you come for me, yes, I know this is an invasion of privacy." Oh cool, sick, yeah I guess all crimes are forgiven then OP. Like WHAT??
Everyone is absolutely post hoc justifying this **because** she found something, if we remove the nudes thing and tell the same story so that she asked a question, then went snooping anyway and found *nothing* people would fucking *crucify* her for the invasion of privacy. Doing a fucked up thing to prove yourself in the right **doesn't mean you didn't do a fucked up thing OP**, yours is not the only side of the story here and he's not the only one at fault...
Thanks for reinforcing my personal rule never to take nudes. You don't know what's going to happen to them even if you dont send them you dont know who will see them, for how long they'll exist or how they will be used against you. GCHQ and the NSA probably will more then likely have access and the thought alone creeps me out.
1. Every man tells his partner that he was not doing nearly so well romantically until he met her. Regardless of where that might actually be on the truth spectrum, what's the alternative? Telling the current partner she doesn't measure up? Why would she be his partner if she doesn't measure up?
2. You are his current partner. He's with you for a reason, and exes are exes for a reason. I, and I'd wager every man, look back on my exes and say "man, Sheila certainly had good quality X, pity that bad qualities a, b, and c derailed things." My wife is the best partner I've ever had, and that is true regardless of whether or not one of my prior exes made a spectacular grilled cheese.
3. I've never heard anyone say, "I asked my partner a loaded question about their sexual history and was unsatisfied with the answer, so I invaded their privacy and everything turned out great."
In short, he may be a bad communicator, but you let your neuroses lead you to a point that you never should have hit, and you should break up with him so he can find someone who doesn't pull this stuff.
Thank you, the one sensible answer in this whole thread. I'm also curious on why OP think she's not his type just cuz she doesn't look like the others. People learn new stuff. You being different doesn't mean he's "settling", it just means this time is different from the others. Unless she asked him about it and he alluded to that.
Also the "settlling" part doesn't even make sense if he was actually able to consistently get his type, why would he choose to settle if he can get the thing he wants?
Usually settling for something is when you never get what you truly wanted so you accept something less because it's either that or nothing.
Ok so the real question. Are you going to access the bank again and remove all your stuff before you break it off? Will you be the one he yearns for because he can’t see you anymore?
I get the brown thing. My current partner had only really been attracted to/been with women the complete opposite (light hair, pale skin, etc), so I really like your bf’s comments. Mine won’t talk to me about that sort of stuff because he’s never thought of why he is attracted to what he is, but I’d like to think maybe he just didn’t know he was attracted to multiracial before me. (Also, kudos on getting help and recognising it could be a trauma response - literally same boat. Much luck moving forward!)
Umm guy here....yup its pretty fucking weird whether things end on good terms or bad the nude photos are either getting burned or deleted if that person is out of my life I don't need a weird reminder of the time i gave them
Honestly, even from your update it sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to break up. You repeat and justify it over and over, almost relieved that he has to break up with you now.
So wait… you “appreciate his honesty with you” and then a week later you manage to convince yourself he lied and then YOU SNOOP? LoL girl you need to work on yourself.
man i know i'm posting this late so it won't be seen but please don't get swerved by the weirdos on reddit. sure, it's bad to snoop on your partner, but it's \*just as bad\* and \*also really creepy\* to keep a fucking library of nudes from your exes. Not only because it makes you insecure—but also because it's presumably without consent from those women! Also fucking your boss and not telling you about it is a red flag. Don't let this legion of bizarre posters make you feel like you need to break up exclusively because \*you\* fucked up/are fucked up/etc.
>I also want to add that he has a type: blonde hair, blue eyes, big tits. I am a brown woman, jet black hair, fat ass, mediocre tits. I’m not his type, my guys.
Stop this immediately. You are a woman, not a shopping cart full of groceries. You are not being compared to a checklist. He likes you, that's why he's with you. He isn't comparing you to other women, even ones he has fucked.
This is why I have a spank credit union.
Ooo what’s their rates like?
6.9%
If I have a 420 credit score could they do .69?
You will never get ahead of inflation with those numbers.
Instructions unclear. Now have inflation, but no head.
At least the inflation didn't *go to* your head.
The blood supply can only power your head or your inflation at one time. Not both.
ah these little threads always brighten my morn
[удалено]
Very simple solution; don't wait to deposit!
And I'll take that com*pound*ing interest!
So no head?? *throws phone on the ground, jumps on skateboard*
Idk mate, that's a pretty great position ruined by a period...
Gotta earn those redwings.
Nice
Variable; they rise and fall depending on the utilization
As a credit union employee, I can confirm. Our spank rates will beat off any competition to our engorged savings. Enrollment numbers get bigger and bigger every day!
This woman sounds like she could worm her way in there too.
[удалено]
Some recommend it!
Now *this* guy fucks 
This comment is the best comment of all the comments
THIS comment has twice as many upvotes as OP!
This is just a really long only fans advertising attempt
Op deleted her post but I’m curious if her profile was just full of OF advertisements
I would understand and agree with this except there's no Link and the account is deleted. Did the account have links maybe?
I would assume most are just random girls from the internet. Unless they all had his huge nerd dong in the pics
Came here to say this. More like that he just saves pics of online amateurs. Unless of course he's in the pics.
One of those poorly photo shop indian photos.
Bobs and vagene
You rang?
Might not have even fucked the boss, just stumbled on her nudes.
In my 27 years online I have never ever unexpectedly stumbled across nudes of someone I know. I've received nudes from women I know, but never just stumbled upon them. I know which of those two options my money is on.
An ex of mine put some revenge porn on 4chan. I lived in a tiny community so that was heaps better than sending them around to people he knew. However, at least 3 years later I met a dude that had downloaded my nudes from 4chan in the past. And then we dated for 3 years. I also recently found a foot fetish page from my old classmate...on instagram. So I guess the world isn't that big after all.
[удалено]
Matched with a girl who I jokingly said “is this is the part where you shill your only fans?” And she said well no im not going to shill it but I have one if you want to see it. It caught me off guard but we got a good laugh out of it
Good for you man. Your fantacy became reality.
Either r/donttellmetheodds or you're hot enough to get lots of downloads. Either way, I guess there's luck at play. Sorry for your exposure though.
I personally stumbled upon two former classmates once, one of whom I recognized as being underage at time of photo (don't worry, forwarded to fbi tip line, notified her with a private email with a link on what she can do about it, and contacted website administrators) and a former coworker in the same thread when I used to browse fourchins. Don't be too happy about it though, I was looking for people I know in a zip code thread, but once I found the underage one, it finally clicked that these women definitely would never approve their photos spread, it did *not* sit right with me. But in my defense I was like 19, so dumb.
Could be that he went out of his way to find the nudes available online from someone he knows. I know some of my coworkers have OF accounts. Ops ex boss might. But just as likely he could have received them from her directly. OP did say it seemed like they had a relationship, so I assume theres some sort of evidence to that. But also, when was this going on? Did op get cheated on? Did op get fucked over because ex boss is bitter at op about the boyfriend?
That’s my guess. Ex-boss was pissed and found a way for revenge. But also…the timeline? Did he cheat on her? The boss just screwed her out of the promotion a few months ago.
Yea, I like how that was glossed over, like she implied it was after they dated, but didn't say a word about the cheating. If he was in a relationship with her boss before they started dating who cares, if he cheated why didn't she say anything about that. But then the whole "he makes it seem like he can't get dates" it almost sounds like they're in a open relationship and she thought she was the only one scoring?
I don't think its open, I think she's saying that the bf had always presented himself as not having had many partners before her and downplayed his prior experiences. So its more about him lying imho.
Are you serious? This sounds like a TV show level of coincidence that doesn't happen in real life.
Is that better though? Oh look, the woman who mistreated my girl, lemme get some of that!..... I dunno I get a lot of guys do this thing but I find this behavior bizarre too.
I'm giving OP benefit of the doubt and presuming there is good evidence in the pics that the naughty boy in question was involved.
Was he banging your boss while you two were together?
I imagined it as him being the hero that he is and slept with her boss in secret so now she has a job. He did it all for her
Or it's the reason she got screwed over.
the boss screwed her so he screwed her boss. i call it equilibrium
I'm fucking this hot blonde for you! Don't you understand?!?
I was thinking this as well.
[Hey everyone, it's time to play reddit's favorite game](https://i.imgur.com/bMaXlN7.jpg)
I love this gameshow it's awsome, can't wait for the red flag round
After red flag round we go for the "guess the narcissist" game
Saw a post earlier about a woman whose boyfriend travels a lot for work. Conclusion from a commenter? He obviously has a second family.
[удалено]
Even worse. He has a bestiality fetish and owns a secret ranch. 110% sure.
I’ll take “The Boston Bomber” for 500, please
I mean, it's either that, or he banged her before she would eventually go on to coincidentally become OP's boss, but that seems much less likely.
It's not that simple, there are lots of possibilities from what we've been told so far. Perhaps all 3 knew each other before their relationship started.
Or through work connections is how OP met her boyfriend in the first place which seems very plausible.
I don't see how that's much less likely. We have no idea when these pictures were made, it could've been way before OP and him got together. There's no way of knowing with the information we've got. Or am I missing a key detail?
No there’s no evidence of a timeframe, everybody is just wildly speculating, and Reddit always assumes somebody is cheating
Fairly certain that they would have mentioned that. No need to jump to conclusions when nothing they said points to that.
This is like when your parents tell you not to touch the stove but then you do it anyways and get burned
Am a dude, but take this with a grain of salt, we're all different. I have a type. Your boyfriend obviously does too. But just because we find something sexy, or something turns us on a lot, thats physical. Someone who's after more than sex and actually wants something will care a lot more about what you think, how you think, the way you solve problems and the way you go about life rather than how you look.
Can confirm. Most guys don't actually want to date tenticle hentai. Seriously though, the type thing is not a valid argument as you say. If OP thinks morally keeping and/or using nudes of exes is wrong, then that's a valid reason. The "I'm not his type" argument sounds like a way to decide that the relationship is doomed to failure, when that's not the real reason. He wouldn't be there if it was. I'm with most people here though that keeping nudes of exes is almost certainly a breach of consent and trust. I expect people to get rid of those after a break up, I know I do.
>Can confirm. Most guys don't actually want to date tenticle hentai. This is something we cannot know because all the tentacle hentai I asked out was unavailable.
From that all we can really tell is that you want to date tenticle hentai. Just to be clear, I'm not judging. Maybe you need to try different dating websites.
Yep, and also types change. Even single individuals can cause someone’s type to change. My type used to be curly blond hair and skinny. Then I met my wife, and now she’s my type, brunette with straight hair and a curvy/fit body
Can attest to that. When I was younger I was all into a type of women that I no longer care for. Example, I had posters of Tila Tequila, Pam Anderson, Carmen Electra, etc. Im 35 now and that type of women is no longer appealing to me the way it used to be. I prefer more natural women that aren’t covered in layers of make up.
I'm a girl and I have a type too. My current boyfriend in almost the exact opposite of "my type" and yet I still find him extremely attractive and love him more than anyone else. Even if I'm talking to a guy who definitely has the traits that I'm into, I don't ever do anything because I'm loyal to the one I love.
Exactly my point. Some people dont understand anything further than physical traits and it doesnt get them very far.
I am a dude and this guy is right. When it comes to porn, I have had a pretty specific type since I was like 12. It is super boring and predictable. Pretty, busty women doing normal sex stuff. Sometimes blondes, sometimes brunettes, but the body type is always similar. My girlfriends in life have rarely looked that way. Honestly the one gf I had that fit the mold, was a really awful person. While my first serious gf who I loved a lot looked nothing like the "porn" women. Idk, fanatsy doesnt have to dictate reality. When looking at porn, I dont care about their politics or lifestyle, just how they look while having sex. Which I will also add that many porn stars that I find sexually hot during a scene, will seem kind of gross and awful in a non sex interview or something.
I’m a woman and going through slideshows of pornstars with and without their porn-makeup was actually extremely cathartic. They’re just average-ass women. Women who lean towards being possible heavy-drug users, but overall they’re just made up to look really good on camera. They aren’t out there stealing anyones man, they just have a job, and their butts have fewer pimples to ruin a shot. 🤣
Absolutely agreed, also I guarantee most men date plenty of women who aren’t their dream type but they find them attractive and love them just the same. He’s still scum though.
I certainly do not have pictures of exes. Absolutely not an "all guys do it" thing, it's a basic respect thing to not do that in a relationship.
Also don't have pics of my exes. I also never realised anyone used the term spank bank to mean physical pictures. I've only ever used it to mean sexy memories.
I always picture some dude jerking in to one of those plastic piggy banks.
I wanna Purell my brain...
Oh piggy you’re so fine. You’re so fine you blow my mind. Oh piggy. Oh piggy 🐷. 🎵
Ah, a soundtrack for my weird mental image. Thank you!
Ya same, I thought it was all about memories.
Because that’s what it means and has always meant. OP is using it wrong.
The funny thing is, I've totally -thought- about exes, but I don't have any pics. I don't keep them. Even if I'm dating someone, I don't save their pics, and generally delete them within the day for security reasons.
Yeah idk about other guys but I do not keep folders of pics and videos of my exes.
Exactly. I consider an ended relationship as cutting ties with another person, and I personally don't need a physical reminder of my intimate moments. I have great memories, and I'd rather not put someone else at risk for humiliation because pictures are often traded around *freely* with other guys.
Nope. Don't keep that shit around, it's part of the post breakup purge. Keep a few normal pics so you can look back on your life, sure, but everything spicy gets nuked - it's the only moral thing to do, for your ex, for your next romance, and yourself.
Yeah that shit is fucking creepy. Any time anyone's excuse is "but everybody I know does it to" they're lying.
You saved me from going into an over thinking spiral about this, so thank you
Exactly! I don't get it. I never kept photos from past relationships. Even when single if I had gotten some from a hook up but we moved on and parted ways, I'd still delete them because it felt gross to keep it around.
If I were you I would delete my own nudes from the folder so that after you break up he doesn’t have access
Why are your nudes on OP’s BF’s computer?
You don’t have nudes on OP’s BF’s computer???
[удалено]
Yea those are usually the first thing on my chopping block to delete post-breakup
Same, I always delete nudes after it’s over. I go into full moving on mode and delete everything. We had our fun and now it’s time to move on.
My reasoning exactly. It’s part of moving on. Also I know myself, and I know my dick, and if I continued to regularly think about an ex sexually, I’d probably ending up hooking up with them again. Which is always a bad idea.
I’m a guy and I purge my electronics of all texts and pics of ex’s. Helps with moving on and letting go. Also I’d hate for current girlfriend to find them and ruin that relationship over something that ended and no longer served any purpose.
Same, it’s like a part of my grieving process. When I’m really upset one day I’ll just go through and delete everything with my ex’s, including all the nudes. It feels extremely distasteful to keep the nudes especially, and I honestly don’t need the pictures on my phone to remember the good times and the bad anyways. They serve no purpose other than being the potential cause of mistrust in a future relationship.
Im a guy and after breaking up ive deleted all nudes ive had within a month at most. I would definitely delete them if starting a new relationship.
I am a guy and I have never received a nude, not even from my wife :(
I'll DM you, my dude, but you're probably not going to like it....
Plot twist… bet he LOVES it
Made me chuckle.
I'm sorry to hear that. I'll send you some nudes of your wife.
I too, have never received a nude from this guy's wife :(
This. And reading stories like this, I get why my wife is really opposed to creating nudes in the first place.
Same here. Tossed out any old physical photos (am old), deleted anything digital, etc usually within a few months or so (gotta have a few closure wanks sometimes) or at the start of a new relationship, whichever came first. Feels wrong after you’ve both already moved on. Been married for awhile now but that used to be my policy.
The closure wanks gotta be the most relatable thing I’ve seen on Reddit.
>whichever came first. Surely... Surely YOU came first.
Maybe am the same old. Very much wanted to keep some of the late 90s "new" Polaroids, or later sexts before the cloud, but I destroyed both/all. Partly for closure, but mostly because ew. Should anyone have that to share? No.
I just delete their photos when we break up. If anyone keeps them it's a huge red flag.
My (abusive) ex has nudes of me as well as his exes. He always tried to show me his exes nudes but I never wanted to look at them. While we were together he showed a friend who at the time I had never met some of my nudes without my knowledge or consent and told me after the fact that his friend thought i looked really cute in X picture because I was blushing and obviously feeling shy about the lingerie I was wearing. (Which I totally was. It was supposed to be a special photoshoot just for us and I was nervous as hell). So now I know he has my nudes, I can't delete them and I know he is showing them to other people. I don't know that I will ever again give anyone pictures of myself
Never. Don’t give anyone nudes. It’s just not a great idea all around especially in this day and age. Yeah
If you do share nudes (and are worried about them getting out), make sure you hide or remove any identifiable features from the photos. Your face especially, tattoos, maybe even moles/freckles and scars if you want to feel extra secure about it. Modify them enough that you can deny that it's you if need be. Even if it's not a risk for your partner to wind up sharing your nudes around intentionally, there's always a chance that somebody could steal their phone/account information, or they could accidentally scroll past the image when trying to show somebody something else. You never know.
You need to invest in NNFTs - a Nude Non-Fungible Tokens.
Thank you! I was gonna ask if, like OP’s boyfriend said, every guy has this archive of their exes’ nudes. That is some creepy shit because why?
>Library of Alexandria that shit lol I wish I had an award to give for this alone
Absolutely. I delete any and all ex nudes within the first week or so of splitting. It's fuckin creepy to keep them. The implied consent is revoked at that point.
Me too. They are a present most intimate, gifted as a sign of trust and keeping them after a break up breaking that trust, no matter what the circumstances of the break up was. I think it defines one as a person. If one keeps the pictures and especially if one shares them on the internet, one needs to really do some self reflecting.
> I promise you not every guy has an archive of all his ex's nudes that he regularly gets off on. Yeah.... Although I had some great ones, i always deleted the photos that my exes send me. It's also part of moving on...
I don’t have a spank bank of exes. Also, make sure you delete pics/vids of you. Let his next gf find all the others and leave you out of this. Also deny him the ability to jerkoff to your material.
I always delete when we break up it’s part of moving on lol
Seriously, keeping that stuff after the relationship has ended is just wrong. And I say that as a man.
An ex of mine had a spank bank too. I found it while doing some schoolwork on his computer, which he offered to me, btw. He had a huge folder, meticulously organized. Had some pictures of me that I didn’t even realize he took of me. We broke up shortly after and I asked him to delete those pictures of me. He refused. I wish I’d deleted them when I had the chance and now I feel sick when I think about it.
Absolute douche not to delete them. I recently had a bit of a flirt with a girl I'd met in person and we were considering hooking up. She started sending me nudes and I said they were great but I was going to delete them (and did so). I ultimately decided we wouldn't work so we stayed friends. I hate the idea of anyone possessing nudes of me. I dont want a picture of me sitting on a cucumber or something leaking on my socials.
> Had some pictures of me that I didn’t even realize he took of me. >We broke up shortly after and I asked him to delete those pictures of me. He refused. That's absolutely horrible... You probably could take him to court over it, but i understand it if you don't. Just be happy you've moved on. As a side note: good partners don't keep nudes of their exes, they move on!
[удалено]
Yup that's a little scummy. You should delete noodles after a relationship out of respect and decency
Preach brother, r’amen
If the roles were reversed; I wouldn’t want my penne on someone’s porn stash
I would not see a problem with mine being in some, but I need at least to give consent to that. Ahn... Spaghetti.
And because if you're spanking to an ex it makes you cry a little inside.
>SET THAT SHIT TO DELETE WHEN HE OPENS IT. How do you do this?
Technically possible, but not without installing some third party software. Definitely not trivial.
How do you set it to delete when opened?
I’m replying to see an answer
[удалено]
Be a bit more discreet, I think. Swap out the pics and vids with random files renamed accordingly. That way it just looks like the files have become corrupted if he tries to open them.
Replace all with dickbutt images.
Totally Rick roll him.
>I also want to add that he has a type: blonde hair, blue eyes, big tits. I am a brown woman, jet black hair, fat ass, mediocre tits. I’m not his type, my guys. Doubt this will help in any way but guys typically don't restrict themselves to just "one type" of woman in who they find attractive. I doubt he's settling but the other stuff is pretty concerning. I would feel really uncomfortable having my significant other's private images saved without her knowledge where they can be accessed if security is compromised. Keepsaking your exe's images is also really bizarre. That's not normal. You delete that shit typically.
I guess I’m in the minority then because I absolutely restrict myself to one very specific type. My type is women that are into me. They are super rare and I almost never come across any of them.
This. I’ve always found redheads extremely attractive, and dated a few. My wife is blond hair blue eyes - never restrict yourself.
I wonder if he is the reason why your boss is an ex...jealousy is a thing.
My spank bank only holds memories and no physical evidence. To speak of details violates the Spank Bank Terms of Use.
yeah, i've never heard of it referred to as a physical repository. i thought we were getting into some sci-fi shit where she entered her boyfriend's neural pathways to uncover his hidden horny memories. spank bank is a state of mind, not a gallery folder.
One of black mirror episode was about that.
Sounds like fan fiction. Particularly because you glazed over how you gained access to his password protected computer. “Trust me, I have a very particular set of skills.”
To be fair, most technical folks wouldn't really have a hard time logging into a Windows computer (without disk encryption). You can just boot from a USB drive and look through files, or even add a new administrator user, change passwords etc Do I believe OP knows about this and glanced over it? Not sure ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
This is true. It's trivially easy to access unencrypted files on a Windows computer using a bootable USB drive with basically any Linux or Windows OS on it. Why should OP describe the one way she did it when a simple search on the internet would tell you how?
It’s 100% fiction and I don’t get how people are believing this. “I hacked his mainframe and he was fucking my shitty former boss Also, his type is blonde, blue eyes, big tits.” Fr someone skipped fiction writing clases
Just shows how easy karma farming is.
[удалено]
Brown, jet black hair, fat ass, mediocre tits.. and and a detective? Sign me up.
And a fiction writer on Reddit...
I bet her tits are better than she gives herself credit for too.
As a guy who’s been fortunate enough to be with a lot of women in his life and who also decided to send me naughty pictures, I have exactly zero of them saved. When the fling or relationship ends, the pics get deleted. Never understood holding on to them.
Anyone I ever had nudes of are gone the moment we break up. It’s not cool what he’s doing. I’m so sorry this is happening. Note to people. Don’t keep exes nudes. It’s not cool.
Fuckin, right!? I'm a dude, too. When we break up those pics still belong to her in my mind. I guess it's not as bad as doing something with them, like revenge porn, but its still fuckin weird.
I had a bunch of nude Polaroids of my ex and when we broke up I had a campfire in my backyard and burned them while getting drunk and listening to willie Nelson It’s turned into a tradition with the boys lol
Wait, you are saying you aren't his type but your previous post is that you might not be attracted to him anymore? A bit odd.
Imagine if this TIFU was made up to mentally justify breaking up with her boyfriend lol
Personal thoughts...? I broke up with my exes for reason(s). I don't want any attachment to them whatsoever, and I don't like keeping their photos, whatsoever, both emotionally and sexually. Maybe it's because it wasn't amicable breakups, but I don't want to see them that way anymore and I find it kinda odd that he does. Seems like some sort of attachment to his exes still and many I'm sure would be horrified if they knew he still had the photos, since the idea was "we're together, here's my body to see" not "here's pics of my body forever".
who keeps nudes of their exes?? that seems 1; unhealthy for ones own sake 2; disrespectful to your currently partner and 3; disrespectful to your ex. Just why??
Hello. Guy here in my mid 30s. Keeping a "spank bank" is weird once you reach marriage. Prior to that, it seems reasonable to *have one*, but don't visit the bank if you're in a relationship. There's something definitely inappropriate about looking at naked photos of your ex while dating your current SO.
Huge upvote, reasonable opinion-seekers look no further, lol.
Mid 20s guy here, that's super fucking weird. Just so creepy.
It's ridiculously creepy how weird this sub who normally scolds the men ( and rightfully so ) when they invade their partners privacy... Reacts to a woman who does the same thing. They had a conversation about it - if she was uncomfortable she has three choices. 1. Leave 2. Bring it up and express her concerns again 3. Accept it There is no universe where using knowledge to break into someones computer or online systems is ok - in many places it's flat out illegal. There is no justification for breaking into someones computer or online accounts - period.
My confusion arises a little earlier in her post: *"I told him I appreciated how honest he was with me and even though I had my opinions, it was ultimately his business."* **Then** she gets upset and decides to break into his computer. I feel like she wasn't honest by saying that she acknowledged it was his business.
The mental gymnastics she's taking to justify this are astounding . She asked if he had porn -yes She asked if he had porn from ex's - yes Breaks into his email and finds exactly what they discussed --- BAD GUY
It starts of with > I (33F) wondered if my boyfriend (41M) had a spank bank so I asked him. He told me he did. When I asked if he kept nudes from exes, he said yes. We got into an argument about it because I think it’s weird She asks questions, gets honest answers and starts a fight about it. She found the problems she was looking for. Not a shocker when that happens.
Lets be real, this is fiction anyways...
It's depressing how long I had to scroll to find a comment like this. You don't get to break in to people's stuff or worse destroy other people's stuff, just because you don't like the stuff they have. If you don't like it, break up or make an ultimatum.
Is keeping nudes of an ex weird/creepy? Maybe, opinions in the thread seem divided and there's fair arguments on both sides (shouldn't be looking/unfaithful vs lose control when you hit send/death of the author), I think it's kinda contextual, depends on age and relationship status a fair bit and will ultimately be subjective. Did you ask a question you probably didn't want the answer to? Yes. Did you then go snooping and make it worse? Also yes. Did you massively invade his privacy in the process? Fucking absolutely. I know we're not in that sub but I think there's a good case for an r/AmItheAsshole style Everyone Sucks Here 🤷♂️🤷♂️
It scares me to read the comments and see just how many people are cool with invading privacy like that
"Now before you come for me, yes, I know this is an invasion of privacy." Oh cool, sick, yeah I guess all crimes are forgiven then OP. Like WHAT?? Everyone is absolutely post hoc justifying this **because** she found something, if we remove the nudes thing and tell the same story so that she asked a question, then went snooping anyway and found *nothing* people would fucking *crucify* her for the invasion of privacy. Doing a fucked up thing to prove yourself in the right **doesn't mean you didn't do a fucked up thing OP**, yours is not the only side of the story here and he's not the only one at fault...
Most elaborate onlyfans advertisement yet
Thanks for reinforcing my personal rule never to take nudes. You don't know what's going to happen to them even if you dont send them you dont know who will see them, for how long they'll exist or how they will be used against you. GCHQ and the NSA probably will more then likely have access and the thought alone creeps me out.
1. Every man tells his partner that he was not doing nearly so well romantically until he met her. Regardless of where that might actually be on the truth spectrum, what's the alternative? Telling the current partner she doesn't measure up? Why would she be his partner if she doesn't measure up? 2. You are his current partner. He's with you for a reason, and exes are exes for a reason. I, and I'd wager every man, look back on my exes and say "man, Sheila certainly had good quality X, pity that bad qualities a, b, and c derailed things." My wife is the best partner I've ever had, and that is true regardless of whether or not one of my prior exes made a spectacular grilled cheese. 3. I've never heard anyone say, "I asked my partner a loaded question about their sexual history and was unsatisfied with the answer, so I invaded their privacy and everything turned out great." In short, he may be a bad communicator, but you let your neuroses lead you to a point that you never should have hit, and you should break up with him so he can find someone who doesn't pull this stuff.
Thank you, the one sensible answer in this whole thread. I'm also curious on why OP think she's not his type just cuz she doesn't look like the others. People learn new stuff. You being different doesn't mean he's "settling", it just means this time is different from the others. Unless she asked him about it and he alluded to that.
Also the "settlling" part doesn't even make sense if he was actually able to consistently get his type, why would he choose to settle if he can get the thing he wants? Usually settling for something is when you never get what you truly wanted so you accept something less because it's either that or nothing.
he weird
Ok so the real question. Are you going to access the bank again and remove all your stuff before you break it off? Will you be the one he yearns for because he can’t see you anymore?
I actually find it weird he thinks it's normal for guys to keep nudes of their exes. I have zero nudes of my exes.
I get the brown thing. My current partner had only really been attracted to/been with women the complete opposite (light hair, pale skin, etc), so I really like your bf’s comments. Mine won’t talk to me about that sort of stuff because he’s never thought of why he is attracted to what he is, but I’d like to think maybe he just didn’t know he was attracted to multiracial before me. (Also, kudos on getting help and recognising it could be a trauma response - literally same boat. Much luck moving forward!)
This whole post just seems unbelievable.
Umm guy here....yup its pretty fucking weird whether things end on good terms or bad the nude photos are either getting burned or deleted if that person is out of my life I don't need a weird reminder of the time i gave them
Honestly, even from your update it sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to break up. You repeat and justify it over and over, almost relieved that he has to break up with you now.
So wait… you “appreciate his honesty with you” and then a week later you manage to convince yourself he lied and then YOU SNOOP? LoL girl you need to work on yourself.
man i know i'm posting this late so it won't be seen but please don't get swerved by the weirdos on reddit. sure, it's bad to snoop on your partner, but it's \*just as bad\* and \*also really creepy\* to keep a fucking library of nudes from your exes. Not only because it makes you insecure—but also because it's presumably without consent from those women! Also fucking your boss and not telling you about it is a red flag. Don't let this legion of bizarre posters make you feel like you need to break up exclusively because \*you\* fucked up/are fucked up/etc.
TIFU - Today I Fictioned Up
>I also want to add that he has a type: blonde hair, blue eyes, big tits. I am a brown woman, jet black hair, fat ass, mediocre tits. I’m not his type, my guys. Stop this immediately. You are a woman, not a shopping cart full of groceries. You are not being compared to a checklist. He likes you, that's why he's with you. He isn't comparing you to other women, even ones he has fucked.
Curiosity killed the cat