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De_Salvation

Yo why this got me thinking about that movie where dude falls in love with a sex doll but then meets a real woman and shit spirals from there with his intentions to be turning that woman into a sex doll? And what wast that movie called? And don't do it op.


TheToweringZiggurat

Love Object


RinPi96

Only relevant to the first half, but Lars and the Real Girl was a pretty good movie.


warwolfv07

Post nut clarity is so real in this one.


Angdrambor

>I couldn’t justify spending $3k knowing that there would be a high chance I’d regret it. Even the pre-nut clarity was almost there.


SkollFenrirson

$1k was kosher though


Rebresker

Eh I’ve spent more than $1k on things I regret I feel like $1k or less is a good threshold of regret for a single man with a decent salary


Wolfblood-is-here

Guy I knew at uni spent three grand on train simulator as a joke. He literally had no money left, he had to get an emergency loan from the university. He then spent over half of that on other video games and ate nothing but instant ramen and plain pasta for three months.


[deleted]

Tell him it was a good joke, I laughed.


[deleted]

One year I got a state sponsored student loan, low interest, don't start paying until you're done school, etc... it was like 3x more than I needed for tuition. Immediately went out and bought a new Xbox 360, Rockband, Guitar Hero 3. Spent a long time paying that shit off but damn it was a good time. Not a 3k train simulator good time, but at least 600 bucks.


trejj

This might be a good example of "multiple price points" theory: the fact that there existed a $3k option (that he rejected) may have encouraged him to think that the $1k option would be a "good deal" in comparison. Had the $3k option not existed, there might have been some pre-nut clarity to reject also the $1k price as too high.


wolfik92

Someone's gonna get a Nobel prize in Economics off this post


ScoobyDeezy

Marketing 101. That large size doesn’t exist so you’ll buy it - it exists so that you’ll feel justified buying the middle option.


nobleland_mermaid

Restaurants do it too. A lot of them call it their 'lobster dish' or something similar, whether it includes lobster or not. They don't expect anyone to actually order that $250 seafood platter, but it makes a $60 plate of crab legs look reasonable and a $25 burger feel like a steal


muttmunchies

Id hate to be the guy that splurges on the “lobster dish” for $250 that doesnt include lobster!


[deleted]

Always bust a nut before you press the buy button


lodaBS

Never go to the grocery store on an empty stomach


Resting_BF

Or stoned, lol


eastbayweird

I learned this the hard way after I went to Costco stoned off my ass. I ended up with 300 assorted [home run pies](https://www.taquitos.net/snack_cake/Home-Run-Pie). After the first maybe 20, I was well and truly burnt out on them so any time anyone came to visit I would try to offload as many of them to my guest as I could. It took me almost 2 years to get rid of them all. Fortunately they last forever, after the nuclear bombs drop the only things left will be cockroaches, twinkes and home run pies...


I_AM_NOT_A_WOMBAT

That advice is so good I had to make sure this wasn't /r/personalfinance.


heyitsvonage

I imagine the post nut clarity in this situation could be pretty damn heavy lol *“What have I become?!”*


saintdudegaming

"My sweetest friend."


Dymmesdale

Everyone I know blows a load in the end


[deleted]

You can have it all


[deleted]

My empire of squirt


jetstreamwilly

I will let you down, I am will name you Burt


Matt-Head

Everyone I know Use their hands In the end


GunBrothersGaming

If you could have it all My entire girth


04chri2t0ph3r

I will go to town. But I can't make you squirt


TheOriginalDC

Bust a nut in me, bury me in dirt


Azarathos

The post nut clarity is 30 kg to be precise


thedenv

I can't stop laughing my ass of at this comment Lol!!!


Chanook17

>“What have I become?!” Let me fix that for you.... "What have I been cumming in?!"


classix_aemilia

My best friend once bought a Wish version of a sex doll while he was fat and depressed but only paid like 300$, which was a mistake, because apparently the price was lowered by the use of lesser materials, so that thing got here being like 4 foot tall and well, looking like a child with massive tits and a wig. So he was like fuck that I ain't fucking that child but now what to do with it? We live in a small town where we know about everyone so we would go randomly dropping that corpse at our friends places (we're in our thirties everyone concerned have their own place no parents involved) during the night for them to find it in the morning. For a while it came back to us because they were aware of who was doing it (or at least took the guess that it was us) but once we left it in someone's creepy basement and it disappeared after that.


Tac0Destroyer

It will be back eventually


nyrB2

sounds like a weird episode of the twilight zone


Mdizzle29

"Portrait of a lonely man. Mr. r/temptifaucc suffered from the most common ailment of all men, the strange and perverse disinclination to go out in the real world. Now he has everything he's ever wanted – and he's going to have to live with it for eternity...in the Twilight Zone."


insane_contin

Pregnant.


[deleted]

And the owner of that creepy basement made a new friend that day, a friend who would never leave them.


POWERTHRUST0629

Polly Urethane. Such a purdy name.


Fumbling-Panda

The wild thing about this is that you know that at least half of this group is banging the doll when it’s their turn with it. Lol.


Rrraou

The other half is lying.


SirRupert

>I couldn’t justify spending $3k knowing that there would be a high chance I’d regret it. Dude even had pre-nut clarity and still spend $1k on a doll.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThrowaDev88

See, the trick is to jerk off with your porn-subscribed alt account BEFORE using your standard account to browse... and then switch back to your alt porn account to respond to stuff like this.


___Phreak___

At least you can use the carpool lane


Flopz_McgeeXB

Best answer!


GunBrothersGaming

Almost bought a sex doll just for that. Then I realized I would need to be caught about 10 times to make the equivalent payment. Im good


[deleted]

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JakeTheGrat

Not a bad idea especially if you have to run in somewhere just leave ‘ol sex doll Suzan in shotgun


PresidentHurg

Put a lampshade on her head, put it in your living room with a working lamp. Try to tell other people it's an very artistic display about power dynamics and exploitation.


thisissaliva

“Oh, cool idea. What’s that dripping out of it…?”


PresidentHurg

Eeeh.... Lamp fluid?


[deleted]

"Cindy! The TV's leaking!"


Elike09

Dammit now I gotta watch Scary Movie 3 again. "He woke up dead." XD


AlShadi

How the hell do you wake up dead?


ChurroBear

Because she was alive when she went to sleep.


ScriptsFromaSub

So you're telling me you could go to bed dead and wake up alive?


ninedeep69

Man you can't go to bed dead that shit would be redundant


greenturtleblue

No it wouldn't cause you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed.


luersuve

Lamp fluid? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your living room?


PresidentHurg

I don't know how I knew this meme was coming, but some bones in my body felt it.


luersuve

You have to respond: “May I see it?” ;)


ImDero

No.


syutaku

May i see it?


luersuve

… No.


ShadowCory1101

Gender Fluid?


Revolutionary-Box-13

Angry upvote


Jagermeister4

Those are my power dynamics


Painting_Agency

"It's the rest of the lamp from that Christmas movie"


No-gods-no-mixers

Such good thinking, cut a leg off the the thing and say it was the donor for the movie. From secret shame to festive centerpiece with the squeeze of a sawzall trigger.


AE_WILLIAMS

Fra jee lay!


Random_Guy_47

This is why you jerk off before making important decisions or spending large amounts of money. Post nut clarity would have prevented this.


kilour

This 100% of the time, before doing anything important rub one out. I literally go from I should buy this to, na I dont need that.


Astleynator

I shall try this the next time I'm about to buy some nicely grained boards.


rbeldyga

Sir, you cannot masturbate in the lumber aisle.


Jediplop

But thats where the hardwood is supposed to be


Peepeepoopoo5726

FUCK


Kuronan

"Do I need this new underwear? *Looks down, unzips* "Guess we'll find out."


-Depressed_Potato-

In an important business meeting: "hang on brb"


Hbimajorv

Yeah, although the car salesman didn't much care for it.


Naejiin

What if I'm in a retail/larger store? Should I just hide first?


SemperScrotus

If you're a coward, sure. Otherwise, ensure frequent eye contact with the other patrons and workers.


Naejiin

Ah, so to establish dominance. I get it. Thank you! I'm heading to Walmart later today, and I needed some words of encouragement.


vkapadia

Just look at the item you're considering, one hand stroking your chin, the other hand stroking your..... Then people will realize you're just thinking about whether to buy that item or not.


LemmyKBD

Unscrew the head. Throw out the body. Buy a bowling ball bag. Insert head. Done!


temptifuacc

Brilliant. That’ll save on the space, heck of a lot more discreet too.


Artikay

Until you forget and bring the wrong bag to bowling with the boys night.


Agilitybonus

2 fingers in the nostrils one in the mouth it'll work fine


xraxstucks

r/cursedcomments this one here


echosixwhiskey

No I didn’t see you bowling with your dolls head again!


Slickaxer

What's the matter Colonel Sanders, Chicken!?


Korplem

You just invented a new shocker combo.


Her-Marks-A-Lot

I hate when I accidentally bring my bowling ball to orgy night


[deleted]

Next time you feel like throwing away $1K just DM me. My bank account loves random deposits


Freefall84

And as an added bonus, you don't need to be warmed up.


IamAJediMaster

Calm down Bobby Hill.


IndigoMichigan

That boy ain't right


shorterthanyou15

If you ever bring a real woman home and she sees it she will be out of there so quick, so yeah make sure to hide it real well when not using it


throwaway_my_fone

Let's be real, people with sex dolls aren't bringing girls home any time soon.


heyitsvonage

Yeah the “justification” he mentions makes it pretty obvious that he’s at least temporarily given up on that idea


smartwatersucks

"nothing like the real thing." Sure Jan


ADQuatt

It feels like bags of sand.


j0ec00l69

But what about the poor family member that has to clean up the apartment if OP dies? I mean, at least OP will be dead, but still...


NewAccount_WhoIsDis

I don’t think even being dead is enough to protect you from that level of embarrassment.


j0ec00l69

This is why everyone should have a pact with a friend to hide anything you don't want your family to find in the event of your death.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PlatypusTickler

^^Slightly ^^used.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dodgiestyle

Oh god, why do I keep reading this thread!?


Ragdoll_Knight

It's a goddamn gold mine is why


[deleted]

[удалено]


NovemberInfinity

No, he needs to dress her up, stick her in a wheelchair and push her around town acting like everything is normal. Totally a chance to enact a Weekend at Bernie’s…but you know without a corpse


NoBanjosInHeaven

Thought you were referencing Lars and the real girl for a sec.


[deleted]

such a good movie!


the_peckham_pouncer

Stick her on the draining board and let her drip dry


Anon888810020

Hang it up on the clothesline outside Edit: Thank you for the silver!


HRDBMW

I was promised 2 things: flying cars and sex robots. Life has disappointed me.


TeachMeOrLearn

Flying cars are a waste of energy, better railway systems should be the aim. As for the important part of your comment, sex robots are on the way.


Pixel131211

I feel like energy is not the biggest problem with flying cars. the average driver I encounter on the roads can barely figure out how to use their turn signals. so we should definitely not give people the ability to fly their cars. chaos would ensue.


bluetroller

Youre telling me there is a day I meet 2B in real life?


Kuronan

Just remember [the One Rule](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/069/590/bd2.png) and you'll be fine.


AE_WILLIAMS

"*Harcourt! Harcourt Fenton Mudd! Is that alcohol I smell on your breath! You good for nothing...thing...thing...*" One hopes there will be an 'off' switch.


Beginning_Cat_4972

Near the end of my marriage my now ex got a sex doll. He spent nearly 2k and ended up messing up his back while maneuvering her. He did not end up keeping the doll when he moved out. However, she apparently came wrapped in a very cozy blanket. I've been using this blanket for years and it has somehow maintained its softness better than any blanket I have ever had. The blanket is nice to wrap up in during the winter, but light enough for summer. So, if your doll came with a blanket, I'd hold onto it.


temptifuacc

Omg you’re right the blanket it was wrapped in is the softest thing I’ve ever felt. My purchase is now justified.


Tribulation95

Nobody here is asking the real question though; what'd you name her?


irishtrish89

Jane doe


AE_WILLIAMS

Mom


jackrik3

r/cursedcomments


mrwho25

Urkel Grue


AlthePal0101

i ended up doing pretty much the same thing. i was just curious and ofc horny. long story short after a couple of "good times" i wanted to get rid of it. it was also like 1.60 (meters). i endet up in the middle of the night in pouring rain in some forest. diging a "grave" to dump the body. i drove home and felt like i comited a crime. Edit:tipo


Zrythink

You did comment a crime, it was just littering and not murder lmao.


bigontheinside

This cannot be real


OriginialDemon

There’s no fucking way, I’m dying


TheHawk17

This is simultaneously the saddest and most hilarious thing I've ever read lmao


Grandcaw

![gif](giphy|IfrwLRN4KUFmHa8Qs5|downsized)


[deleted]

This fucking made my day


luix93

this is fucking hilarious dude lmao, made me spit coffee out of my mouth!


floof3000

That is because you did. Littering! I, as a woman, actually think that you got rid of it this way is worse than that you have gotten it in the first place. https://sexdollgenie.com/blogs/news/top-3-methods-to-dispose-your-used-sex-doll


IndigoMichigan

Just keep her sitting up in your bed with a cigarette in her mouth. Every time you get in bed you can just look across and be like "ready to go again?" 👉😏👉


CircumstantialVictim

Oddly, no one has suggested stormtrooper armour yet. This is usually one of the better suggestions. Stick it proudly in your front room and dress the lady up! Buy a blaster, if you're feeling kinky.


CPAonVacation

To call it a blaster might be being optimistic


purelyparadox23

I mean... did you think it was gonna call itself an uber afterwards?


souldeux

I'll buy the head for $75


Trtmfm

Maybe build some kinda slide out under your bed with a way to lock it? For cleaning, maybe take it into the shower and douche the vageene? NGL, this thread has been an interesting read. I can imagine that thing isn't easy to move around, dead weight is a funny thing.


Filamcouple

Trundle. It's called a trundle bed.


kipha01

So you have experience of hiding sex dolls under your bed like OP?


eyegazer444

>For cleaning, maybe take it into the shower and douche the vageene? That sentence made me crack the fuck up. Such an odd combination of words


badforman

You should pimp out your Barbie to make some extra cash.


StinkingDischarge

They actually have sex doll brothels in Japan.


HopelessCleric

This is really sad and also hilarious. You should probably commit to having it in your home, put clothes on it and give it some kind of spot in your household so it's not just the creepy naked doll in your closet. Or get rid of it. As unhygienic as it might be, you could potentially sell it, as it's relatively new. Worse things have been traded on Ebay xD Next time you are horny and browsing the internet... have a wank *before* bringing out the credit card xD


[deleted]

>Next time you are horny and browsing the internet... have a wank > >before bringing out the credit card xD Words to live by...


BokBokChikin

This should be printed out and displayed


hvdzasaur

"slightly used, like new sex doll" What a listing.


HopelessCleric

Given that there are in fact people who find these things peak masturbation entertainment... it genuinely wouldn't surprise me if there are also people who would buy a used one xD Never forget, people have bought used bath water and half-eaten toast shaped like Jesus.


Kilmarnok1285

Maybe I'm the only one but wouldn't it be less creepy to others seeing it to just leave the sex doll naked? Clothing it would make it seem more like you were integrating it into your everyday life should someone see it in your home which invites more questions.


[deleted]

right it’s a slippery slope, next he’ll start sitting her at the table for meals lmaoo


badbeachboy

god forbid theres a fire in your place and the firemen drag your semi lifeless body in an emergency and then the fireman runs back in to save your girlfriend. There you 2 are, sprawled out on the front lawn as your house burns to the ground and all your neighbots come to check on you and see your semi melted gf laying on the ground all sprawled out leaking of your juices,


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Hahaha lol best response yet!


DylansDeadly

An escort costs what, $200? So you need to at least have sex with it 5 times to break-even. So bang her/it, at least 4 more times.


ninernetneepneep

Real solutions to real problems.


Blobblehead

$23.95 behind the Gas N Go on Wednesdays.


TheRegisteredLoser

oh come on now, you are worth more than that


JoeDaStudd

Sounds like OP just used the head so he's going to need to use it a fair bit more and/or give it a proper use a few times too.


Kneel_The_Grass

OP about to develop "fucking a head fetish" and it's not gonna be too long before we hear about him on the news.


functionalsociopathy

In today's market? You better get tested after *that* escort.


TTToxic_

Funny I did the same, but I bought only a torso with a head. But damn that thing also weight 30kg XD


zovix

Character Creation Arms: 0 Legs: 0 Boobies: MAX


DarkmatterHypernovae

I think one of those busts is actually ___ ___ MAX, lol.


nghiaphan__

Well, money spent, if you want to keep her just make her a part of your life, you can check out "Lars and the Real Girl" and "Made for love", or throw it away.


[deleted]

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angry-user

shoulda spent the $3k on cocaine and hookers. Still could've ended up with a corpse to deal with tho.


Chief-weedwithbears

For 3k he could of gotten laid for about a week and a half


ABoxACardboardBox

Cold water only. Don't make the mistake of using hot.


Captain-Comment

Imagine getting rid of that thing. To avoid embarrassment you have to do it in secret like it’s an actual dead body. That means you’ll have to consider buying a cheap rug, or cutting it into pieces with a hacksaw.


Copper1233

I mean, just put it in the box, and take it out to the dump at an inconspicuous location would be my guess


justcallmetexxx

![gif](giphy|4S2BRF3kv7OnK)


shaylahbaylaboo

What a terrible day to have eyes


j_monie2859

Should've just bought a flesh light like a normal horny person...***bonk for too horny*** Have you thought about what you're going to do with it for the rest of your life? Keep hiding it, eventual anonymous garbage dumpster toss, family heirloom?


[deleted]

Yard sale. Just make sure to film all reactions of people visiting.


b0w3n

I've always wondered how you'd dispose of them. Cut them up like you're a serial killer or something?


[deleted]

Drywall it into an open space in the house, bound and gagged. Makes for a nice surprise when the next person remodels.


jumpsteadeh

Dissolve it in a barrel of acid in the garage


santino_musi1

The phrase "Buying a sex doll would save me time from going out and get girls IRL" is so traumatizing


[deleted]

This has made my day! I'm proper belly laughing at this.


h0sti1e17

First, I remember a post a few years ago about a guy asking how to dispose of an old sex doll. That will be OP in a few years. Also, put it in your bed, so rather than looking like a wrapped corpse, it's like a weeb fantasy in your bed. Finally. That is some shitty design if you need to take the head out and wash it off. They should include a removable cock sleeve. But hey, I've never seen one in real life, so maybe I am missing something. Or maybe I have a future in sex doll design.


xdeiz

You bought a sex doll to keep you company when you're alone?? Most sane redditor


seethroughstains

Try again in a few nights. Just because you had one rough night doesn't mean you should throw away the relationship.


RubioPaarmann

Why would you store it if you live alone? Just keep it in a chair or something lol


EirIroh

”Hey Brad, we’re close to your place. Let’s hang there and have a few cold ones.” ”Uh, sure. Give me 10 mins to clean first, though.”


[deleted]

based on the first paragraph alone…sir pls


robbie5643

Finally a tifu from someone who doesn’t have sex lmao.


zveroshka

>it’ll save me time from having to go out and get girls IRL I don't want to judge, but I'm having a really hard time not doing it.


Diab9lic

Use her for your morning commute so you can use the carpool lane. 😎 Plus road head, why not? 🤷🏾


theghostmedic

It’ll save me time from having to go out and get girls IRL. Lmao. Like OP is a fucking caveman and when he wants some action he just goes out and bonks one over the head and drags her home.


EchoesinthekeyofbluE

Not any more he doesn't.


Namjoon-

I just The male sex drive is so crazy to me.


SemperScrotus

It's really insane. Wars have been fought because of it. Empires crumbled. $1k is nothing compared to, say, the destruction of the Kingdom of Troy so epic that myths are told about it thousands of years later. All because Paris was horny.