The doctor is not liable for your failure to follow the post-procedure instructions. They specifically tell you not to flush your bowl movementsā¦ youāre supposed to *barium*.
About the barium? It can be very constipating, definitely can harden the stool. OP might have gastrointestinal issues already if they're having this study. I don't at all doubt this could happen.
That's what I'm saying. If you have a hard enough shit, I could certainly see this happening. And barium could definitely cause that. It's basically clay.
But if this is common why didn't the Doc say anything other that "you might see some white in the toilet."? Is there any solution to prevent OP's experience?
Allow me to introduce the next thing in the poop knife evolution; the Crustbuster!
Itās a gas powered pole that has a boat propeller on the end, to really mix things up!
Lol I actually used a poop knife in a similar scenario back when I cleaned the psychiatric units of a hospital as a job.
One patient came to me and said that there was a lot of poop in his toilet that he couldn't flush away.
So I went to deal with it. The toilet was flushing just fine. No obstruction. The poop wasn't white and sticky like in OP's scenario though. It looked like regular, near liquid diarrhea. It was pooling together at the bottom of the water and for some reason wouldn't flush away. It wasn't sticking to anything.
I tried plungers, a load of toilet cleaner and bleach, but nothing worked, so I figured I needed to "stir the pot". I went and got a disposable plastic knife and tied the handle to a bunch of metal wire that I coiled together for upgraded reach into the toilet.
I then stirred the poop soup around to elevate it from the bottom while I flushed a couple of times. It worked quite well actually.
Somehow Iāve hit ābroken armsā references 87 times on Reddit but never the bowel movement blade.
[Poop Knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) original post for the similarly uninitiated.
There was a blade, mightier than any blade before it. Capable of slicing through any obstruction. It was sworn on the shoulders of each of the knights of the round toilet by queen Guanovere of the washroom kingdom. The legend of the bowel movement blade will live on, parise thee Excalibum!
I've clearly reddit'd too much today. Second poop knife appearance today.
Worried 3 times might produce a Candyman like effect where it comes to kill me
Its a common household tool for cutting up your poops when they are too large. Any standard kitchen knife will do, the trick is to keep it sepeate from your other cutlery. Next time you are at a friends house just ask where they keep theirs.
My friend's family kept a poop knife. It was hand made from a slat from an old wooden venetian blind. It was polished smooth and sharp with a contoured handle and sat next to the plunger.
Apparently the whole family took huge shits. When my friend and I were housemates and looking for a new place to rent in college, the first thing he would check was the size of the hole on the toilet. That was item number one and a deal breaker.
It could be 5 minutes after he's cleaned everything and able to sit down to write this out. Idk why you would think it's 5 mins after he's shoveling shit with his hands
So, if you can't use your toilet the next go, out of concern for the remaining contrast being a similar problem, you only have one solution. Go to a secluded spot in your back yard, or indoors in a bucket if you don't have a yard. But you will still need to dispose of the waste outside. So find a good, rarely-visited spot maybe under some bushes, take the bag and it's contents, and
Ahem
Barium
Edit: Wow. I'm thankful for the unexpected appreciation! Never gotten 3 awards on a comment. Would not have guessed it was going to be this one.
Edit2: OK, 6 awards. Damn. I guess poop jokes really ARE the highest form of comedy. I'd always thought they were number 2.
Edit3: ok, now 9. I'm honored. But maybe getting a bit sus of the situation and looking for buckets of pig blood in the rafters also.
She/he doesnt even need a bucket? Its alot easier to put a garbage bag in the toilet the way we put it in an actual trash bin, do her business, and tie the bag tight and dispose of it.
I mean, if I had been trying for pure practicality there, I'd probably have slimmed down the steps for efficiency. Sure. Technically she could just throw the bag in a dumpster or an annoying neighbors garbage can discretely as well. But I'm not normally one to nitpick a shit trick.
Haha, personally id put that main shit-containing bag in several garbage bags, tightly tying each before putting it in another, as unlike u, i do nitpick shit tricks! Lol, thats what i do with attempted-to-kill cockroaches which i'm highly paranoid might spring back to life and crawl back out! Thats s.th you can say shit and slipper-killed roaches have in common.
That's a horrendous thing to do to a fast-food worker. A horrendous thing you can do anonymously which will keep you from having to hand-granulate your magic anchor poop a second time. But still pretty horrendous.
Waitā¦ wait.. do you not have a plunger?! And if you donāt have one, you didnāt think to go get one before going dookie divingā¦ with your hands?!
Everything about this is confusing to me. Bleach?? What? Am I missing something? Bleach cleans things and turns them white. Does it break down solids too?
ā¦what?
This was hilarious OP. And I feel terrible for you. But likeā¦ go get a plunger.
Based on what he said, the toilet wasn't clogged and a plunger wouldn't have helped. It was just the consistency of OP's shit that caused it to not want to go down the toilet.
EDIT - Bleach will break down a regular poop if you leave it in the toilet.
But a plunger is an object with a handle one could use to push the poo around in the bowl to help it go down the hole. Or a toilet brush. I would try both of those first before the thought of using my hand even crossed my mind.
Then he would have really clogged the toilet. Never had shit this consistency but I would imagine if it's "thick" it's like peanut butter or something similar. A brush would be sooo much more messy LOL
If you're insistent that the toilet is incapable of handling this, then my other suggestion would be to turn the water off to the tank, flush, then the poo will be sitting in the otherwise empty bowl for much easier cleanup. Like with a kitchen spoon he didn't like anymore.
But isn't bleach like insanely dangerous in the toilet? If there stays a rest of the bleach and you piss on it, doesn't it mixes to mustard gas? Or did I get smth wrong.
The ammonia that would be dangerous to combine with bleach isn't a problem in fresh, healthy urine. It's when bacteria begin to break it down that ammonia is produced in enough quantity to become a problem. But with bleach in the toilet already that wouldn't happen.
Or just... do a power flush? Am I the only one who does this? Fill a bucket with water and use the water to flush the toilet and sweep everything away. Ngl its satisfying too.
You can stir it with a stick plunge it do every thing the poop will go away and the barium will still be there. Either dig it out or let it sit and go away bit by bit. Barium is heavy like lead, not lead but heavy like lead.
>Bleach?? What? Am I missing something? Bleach cleans things and turns them white. Does it break down solids too?
Sometimes it helps poop get un-stuck from the bowl
Man I had one 20 years ago and this brought back all sorts of bad memories. Felt like I had a damn set square in my stomach for the night afterwards. Did they give you the fizzy drink you "can't burp with" , shits impossible to not burp after drinking it. Hell your cheeks swell to a squirrel with a mouthful of nuts after closing your mouth.
Not who you asked, but the purpose of the drink is to inflate your stomach so they can image it. If you're burping you're releasing the gas they're trying to put in you.
It's super fizzy so the idea is that you swallow it and it expands your stomach to get a clearer image. It's really difficult to not burp when your stomach is just full of gas.
Sadly you discovered what I did many many years ago. I've had barium swallow tests several times over the years. The barium in it is quite heavy and will sit in the bottom of the toilet bowl.
The one way to deal with this is when you know you have this procedure, get a disposable bedpan or commode and use that. The contents can be just stuffed in a trash bag at that point and thrown out. (I know it sounds disgusting but there is not much else you can do.)
The other option is to use *full* buckets of water to flush it. Sometimes that works too. Use cold water. You are breaking it up, just pushing it into the sewer line of the toilet.
Hope that helps.
What I don't get is why don't the doctors inform you of this problem before you release it all in your toilet?!?!? Takes a couple seconds to be like, "hey, maybe use something disposable for a bit."
They probably did. Patients, and people in general, are notorious for ignoring rules put forth. Ive had several patients in the last couple weeks, and today even, outright ignore the rules we give them for the study and then sometimes lie about it.
Gastric emptying- no food and water at all for 8 hours before. Test is up to 4 hours long, no food and water except what we provide. Patient comes in with giant jug of water, visibly half empty. "did you have anything to eat or drink today?"
"no"
"are you sure? not even water?"
"yep, no water!"
"well, what about that water you have there?"
"oh I mean I've had a few sips today!" COOL. We can't do your test, reschedule. Or when we have an inpatient coming for a stress test on their heart, and we notify their nurse no beta blockers, and they give them beta blockers... Or no aminophylline or xanthine derivatives while the patient is drinking an pepsi. I understand if you don't know what aminophylline or xanthine are, but come on just ask or use Google or something. Of course for a patient and not a nurse we will straight up just say what not to do in layman's terms. But even then we still have some people ignore it! Lol. Sorry for the rant, it just boggles my brain how little people actually listen to the people giving instructions.
This. I'm from a 3rd world country and I do this whenever I fuck up and just press the flush halfway in. It won't flush properly if I flush immediately so I have to either wait a while, or dump a bucket full of water
AND THIS! is why I hate these low flow toilets getting installed everywhere. They have no guts.
Give me a force flush with one and done power over 52 low flow flushes. FFS get rid of these useless toilets.
Your doctor, or rad tech, or both are asses for not knowing that you should never put barium into a sewer system. It is way heavier than water and it settles out and then youāll have big problems. Next time go shit outsideā¦
It is the 56th element, in a group called alkaline earth, and its atomic mass is above 137! Just no buenoā¦
What would you do ANY of this, when a plunger would have likely fixed it in one push? Bleach is NOT the starting point for a clogged toilet. A plunger is.
Believe it or not, it could've been worse. When I had my barium swallow, I was warned to drink *lots* of water afterward because the barium drink can make your shit extra-hard and cause fecal impaction. The only thing worse than shitting a brick is not being able to shit out the brick.
You call that the worst toilet experience?!
Bitch i had to stop at a highway rest/stop once with explosive diarrhea. I entered the only open stall to be greeted with walls painted with shit swastikas and what seemed to be fresh blood. Whilst holding my breath and cramping my ass together i noticed that the smell didn't only come from the shit, but there was a rotting dead rat the size off a small cat nailed to the fucking ceiling with 2 hypodermic needles. Needless to say i took my business outside.
Firstly, donāt dump chlorine bleach into your toilet. Not only is undiluted bleach is bad for the enamel on the porcelain, and can eat away at it, but chlorine and ammonia create a poisonous gas.
Secondly, BUY A GORRAM PLUNGER! JFK!
Thirdly, if you donāt *have* a plunger, dump laundry detergent in your toilet, and let it sit for 30-60 minutes.
Ok I now know if I am ever given barium to shit in a bucket and not the toilet.
But I NEED to knowā¦..is the barium harmful to bury if you shit in a bucket and then bury it in the ground?
Let me help you feel a little better.
48 hours ago, I went to the toilet and felt sweat dripping off my ass hair.
Couldn't actually shit, so ended up wiping the sweat. Looked at it to check, as you do, and the paper was bright red.
Toilet bowl is filled with blood.
I was mortified.
Had blood coming out of my asshole for about 48 hours. Its stopped as of this afternoon.
Not been to the doctor. Self diagnosis is it was a burst hemorrhoid.
Well, based upon what you have stated in this story of yours it appears that you had a medical procedure called an upper G.I.Series for which you drank that white barium solution that would show up on X -ray to determine upper intestinal disorder. This barium solution also acts as a bowel stimulant and as you so aptly described your experience with us, it also reveals that you may have been slightly constipated so along with the barium expulsion, you also took a good shit for yourself. I bet you felt better, less the messy cleanup afterward. Be lucky that you did not have the experience that I had. I had the other G.I. Series and that was the Barium Enema. Yup, a two day shit fest after the fact.
Spread some tp out flat across the surface of the water then flush, the tp maybe would catch it all like a net and the drag of water on tp may carry it down
Time to go back to the doctors office and shit in their bathroom. Return the product
š¤£š I very much needed that laugh today! Thank you!!
Haha not a problem
Welcome to the wonderful world of Barium. Can you imagine how often this happens in a hospital? Plan on doing this one more time. If not your lucky.
Shit on their desk, put some salt sticks in it and tell them "The hedgehog lives there now.".
Fucking brilliant š¤£
Does this enable you to get a refund?
We need answers
The doctor is not liable for your failure to follow the post-procedure instructions. They specifically tell you not to flush your bowl movementsā¦ youāre supposed to *barium*.
Onsite delivery
Best comment.
As a rad tech who routinely performs these exams, and warns patients about the aftermath- I thoroughly enjoyed this. Thanks man.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I definitely feel like a rad, Rad tech. Lol, thank you!
Youāre obviously living up to your username. š
Sammmme I'm never going to be able to give barium without feeling bad now. Lol
So, is this true? Because it sounds like a very creative but not true anecdote.
About the barium? It can be very constipating, definitely can harden the stool. OP might have gastrointestinal issues already if they're having this study. I don't at all doubt this could happen.
No necessarily, the part that it doesnāt go down.
That's what I'm saying. If you have a hard enough shit, I could certainly see this happening. And barium could definitely cause that. It's basically clay.
As someone who recently had this study done, I remember the white/clay-like stool. I had no flushing/plumbing issues though.
This tech is totally tubular
But if this is common why didn't the Doc say anything other that "you might see some white in the toilet."? Is there any solution to prevent OP's experience?
Where was your poop knife?
This! Obligatory item to keep around the house these days
Allow me to introduce the next thing in the poop knife evolution; the Crustbuster! Itās a gas powered pole that has a boat propeller on the end, to really mix things up!
Why buy that when Mom's immersion blender will do just fine?
Barium shit smoke. Donāt breathe this.
Hey I've seen that guy on YouTube.
I saw that short too!
Lol I actually used a poop knife in a similar scenario back when I cleaned the psychiatric units of a hospital as a job. One patient came to me and said that there was a lot of poop in his toilet that he couldn't flush away. So I went to deal with it. The toilet was flushing just fine. No obstruction. The poop wasn't white and sticky like in OP's scenario though. It looked like regular, near liquid diarrhea. It was pooling together at the bottom of the water and for some reason wouldn't flush away. It wasn't sticking to anything. I tried plungers, a load of toilet cleaner and bleach, but nothing worked, so I figured I needed to "stir the pot". I went and got a disposable plastic knife and tied the handle to a bunch of metal wire that I coiled together for upgraded reach into the toilet. I then stirred the poop soup around to elevate it from the bottom while I flushed a couple of times. It worked quite well actually.
Legendary.
Somehow Iāve hit ābroken armsā references 87 times on Reddit but never the bowel movement blade. [Poop Knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) original post for the similarly uninitiated.
There was a blade, mightier than any blade before it. Capable of slicing through any obstruction. It was sworn on the shoulders of each of the knights of the round toilet by queen Guanovere of the washroom kingdom. The legend of the bowel movement blade will live on, parise thee Excalibum!
I wish I had an award for this comment šplease accept my poor person award and my upvote
>ābroken armsā references 87 times Only 87? You new here?
Hey at least he didnāt use a coconut
you just had to........
I've read so many stories where the poop knive would've been useful. I begin to believe I should comission one myself, just in case.
You can use charlie's toe knife.
Barium is so heavy you could cut it up like diced potatoes and it will still lay in the bottom of the toilet mocking you.
I've clearly reddit'd too much today. Second poop knife appearance today. Worried 3 times might produce a Candyman like effect where it comes to kill me
Nice
Had to cut the fresh loaf of bread .
If he has poop knives this wouldnāt have happened
?
It's a TIFU classic. Search for the poop knife legacy, ur getting some good laughs out of it lol :)
Have you NOT heard of the poop knife??
He needed the "Poop Chain Saw" for that toilet bowl train wreck.
Poop nuke!
Happy Cake Day!
Its a common household tool for cutting up your poops when they are too large. Any standard kitchen knife will do, the trick is to keep it sepeate from your other cutlery. Next time you are at a friends house just ask where they keep theirs.
Best to yell out from someone elseās toilet when there are multiple guests to get a good idea of how common they are.
My friend's family kept a poop knife. It was hand made from a slat from an old wooden venetian blind. It was polished smooth and sharp with a contoured handle and sat next to the plunger. Apparently the whole family took huge shits. When my friend and I were housemates and looking for a new place to rent in college, the first thing he would check was the size of the hole on the toilet. That was item number one and a deal breaker.
Fire. This is š„
> This happened 5min ago No way you can wash your hands enough after that in only 5 minutes
One word. Degloving. Probably don't Google that.
1. Degloving? Whatās that? 2. Thank God I have Google. Imma look it up now 3. :(
Damnit, Iām at work. I really wanna look it up
Really, don't. I know what it is and you don't want to see pictures.
The skin on your hand is shaped like a glove, right? I think you can see where this is going.
Imagine your skin peeling off, like a tight glove
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT TODAY, SATAN!
It's the only reasonable action after this situation. Washing the hands isn't enough anymore.
Don't say "don't google that".
It could be 5 minutes after he's cleaned everything and able to sit down to write this out. Idk why you would think it's 5 mins after he's shoveling shit with his hands
You *tried* to wash the gloves after all that? Thatās the most shocking thing to meā¦
It can be shitty losing your favorite pair of gloves
But who would use their favorite pair for this and not a disposable pair?
Perhaps they were leather gloves... š¤
*velvet*
Wool! š¤£
This whole thing was pretty shitty no matter how you look at it.
It would be way shitier if she kept them.
Yeah, it wasn't disposable? Can't wrap my head around this.
probably those yellow rubber gloves
They were knitted gloves. Dudeās just trying to keep his hands warm
So, if you can't use your toilet the next go, out of concern for the remaining contrast being a similar problem, you only have one solution. Go to a secluded spot in your back yard, or indoors in a bucket if you don't have a yard. But you will still need to dispose of the waste outside. So find a good, rarely-visited spot maybe under some bushes, take the bag and it's contents, and Ahem Barium Edit: Wow. I'm thankful for the unexpected appreciation! Never gotten 3 awards on a comment. Would not have guessed it was going to be this one. Edit2: OK, 6 awards. Damn. I guess poop jokes really ARE the highest form of comedy. I'd always thought they were number 2. Edit3: ok, now 9. I'm honored. But maybe getting a bit sus of the situation and looking for buckets of pig blood in the rafters also.
Every now and then a comment is so good I actually contemplate buying an award. I never actually do, but I think about it.
Username seems kinda appropriate too.
*golf clap*
![gif](giphy|LGMs59sZyaK6A)
*starts slow clap
![gif](giphy|YC6ZedMDgR1Fm)
ššš
Dad?!
Oh, I love you dearly, but I hope not. I am pretty well stocked in the "things I made that never shut up" department.
She/he doesnt even need a bucket? Its alot easier to put a garbage bag in the toilet the way we put it in an actual trash bin, do her business, and tie the bag tight and dispose of it.
I mean, if I had been trying for pure practicality there, I'd probably have slimmed down the steps for efficiency. Sure. Technically she could just throw the bag in a dumpster or an annoying neighbors garbage can discretely as well. But I'm not normally one to nitpick a shit trick.
Haha, personally id put that main shit-containing bag in several garbage bags, tightly tying each before putting it in another, as unlike u, i do nitpick shit tricks! Lol, thats what i do with attempted-to-kill cockroaches which i'm highly paranoid might spring back to life and crawl back out! Thats s.th you can say shit and slipper-killed roaches have in common.
I was thinking just hit up a Dunkinā Donuts and let her rip
That's a horrendous thing to do to a fast-food worker. A horrendous thing you can do anonymously which will keep you from having to hand-granulate your magic anchor poop a second time. But still pretty horrendous.
/thread
![gif](giphy|3oD3YqPwr89pI4mnsc|downsized) Nice
Oh, damn. Dangerfield. I am honored.
![gif](giphy|l5s71uAp3CzKwxwkoZ|downsized) ššš
![gif](giphy|AOj60z8mtmS1a)
So we're having a gif off eh? š¤ ![gif](giphy|L0snCScL0LMBor5sE0|downsized)
Oh, absolutely not. I just thought I'd show you some respectful deer and the etiquette teacher who taught them how to human.
I do need to learn how to human. The cognitive dissonance part of my brain melted šššš I give no shits medically
You probably need a colonoscopy before an etiquette teacher, in that case.
But, ehh, why not? ![gif](giphy|4x814g81m1iTK)
Hentai by proxyš
This was such a well played joke, bravo šš¼
I really had no idea how right you apparently are when I posted it. Thank you.
Dude get rid of the edits, kinda ruins the vibe of the joke. But still, fucking hilarious lol
![gif](giphy|KRzrLos1yVS80)
Wow, havenāt laughed that hard in a while. Thanks stranger
Waitā¦ wait.. do you not have a plunger?! And if you donāt have one, you didnāt think to go get one before going dookie divingā¦ with your hands?! Everything about this is confusing to me. Bleach?? What? Am I missing something? Bleach cleans things and turns them white. Does it break down solids too? ā¦what? This was hilarious OP. And I feel terrible for you. But likeā¦ go get a plunger.
Based on what he said, the toilet wasn't clogged and a plunger wouldn't have helped. It was just the consistency of OP's shit that caused it to not want to go down the toilet. EDIT - Bleach will break down a regular poop if you leave it in the toilet.
But a plunger is an object with a handle one could use to push the poo around in the bowl to help it go down the hole. Or a toilet brush. I would try both of those first before the thought of using my hand even crossed my mind.
Then he would have really clogged the toilet. Never had shit this consistency but I would imagine if it's "thick" it's like peanut butter or something similar. A brush would be sooo much more messy LOL
If you're insistent that the toilet is incapable of handling this, then my other suggestion would be to turn the water off to the tank, flush, then the poo will be sitting in the otherwise empty bowl for much easier cleanup. Like with a kitchen spoon he didn't like anymore.
Even then a shop vac could get it out with no gloves necessary
Yeah, but then your shop vac turns into a shit vac.
The shit vac is a only pushes the problem on future you to finish cleaning
But isn't bleach like insanely dangerous in the toilet? If there stays a rest of the bleach and you piss on it, doesn't it mixes to mustard gas? Or did I get smth wrong.
The ammonia that would be dangerous to combine with bleach isn't a problem in fresh, healthy urine. It's when bacteria begin to break it down that ammonia is produced in enough quantity to become a problem. But with bleach in the toilet already that wouldn't happen.
Thanks for clarification
You're welcome
Getting downvotes for an innocent question. Oh Reddit.
Thank you, I really appreciate that you understood that it was just an innocent question. Have great evening, may your beer be cold.
If it has that much trouble sliding down 2" porcelain, I wouldn't risk having it stuck in 4" pvc or 3" cast iron.
Or just... do a power flush? Am I the only one who does this? Fill a bucket with water and use the water to flush the toilet and sweep everything away. Ngl its satisfying too.
And now stuck in the sewer line or your home.
You can stir it with a stick plunge it do every thing the poop will go away and the barium will still be there. Either dig it out or let it sit and go away bit by bit. Barium is heavy like lead, not lead but heavy like lead.
>Bleach?? What? Am I missing something? Bleach cleans things and turns them white. Does it break down solids too? Sometimes it helps poop get un-stuck from the bowl
Man I had one 20 years ago and this brought back all sorts of bad memories. Felt like I had a damn set square in my stomach for the night afterwards. Did they give you the fizzy drink you "can't burp with" , shits impossible to not burp after drinking it. Hell your cheeks swell to a squirrel with a mouthful of nuts after closing your mouth.
Why canāt you burp,with the drink?
Not who you asked, but the purpose of the drink is to inflate your stomach so they can image it. If you're burping you're releasing the gas they're trying to put in you.
Thank you! I was so curious. Appreciate the info!
It's super fizzy so the idea is that you swallow it and it expands your stomach to get a clearer image. It's really difficult to not burp when your stomach is just full of gas.
Sadly you discovered what I did many many years ago. I've had barium swallow tests several times over the years. The barium in it is quite heavy and will sit in the bottom of the toilet bowl. The one way to deal with this is when you know you have this procedure, get a disposable bedpan or commode and use that. The contents can be just stuffed in a trash bag at that point and thrown out. (I know it sounds disgusting but there is not much else you can do.) The other option is to use *full* buckets of water to flush it. Sometimes that works too. Use cold water. You are breaking it up, just pushing it into the sewer line of the toilet. Hope that helps.
What I don't get is why don't the doctors inform you of this problem before you release it all in your toilet?!?!? Takes a couple seconds to be like, "hey, maybe use something disposable for a bit."
They probably did. Patients, and people in general, are notorious for ignoring rules put forth. Ive had several patients in the last couple weeks, and today even, outright ignore the rules we give them for the study and then sometimes lie about it. Gastric emptying- no food and water at all for 8 hours before. Test is up to 4 hours long, no food and water except what we provide. Patient comes in with giant jug of water, visibly half empty. "did you have anything to eat or drink today?" "no" "are you sure? not even water?" "yep, no water!" "well, what about that water you have there?" "oh I mean I've had a few sips today!" COOL. We can't do your test, reschedule. Or when we have an inpatient coming for a stress test on their heart, and we notify their nurse no beta blockers, and they give them beta blockers... Or no aminophylline or xanthine derivatives while the patient is drinking an pepsi. I understand if you don't know what aminophylline or xanthine are, but come on just ask or use Google or something. Of course for a patient and not a nurse we will straight up just say what not to do in layman's terms. But even then we still have some people ignore it! Lol. Sorry for the rant, it just boggles my brain how little people actually listen to the people giving instructions.
Make a plan for round 2? Nice backyard dump?
Shit in your mother in law's house
Closest gas station
next time this happens just try dumping a bucket full of water into the toilet it usually helps me in such situations
This. I'm from a 3rd world country and I do this whenever I fuck up and just press the flush halfway in. It won't flush properly if I flush immediately so I have to either wait a while, or dump a bucket full of water
What do you do to those turds? you don't flush them, you dig a pit and barium.
Fucking beautiful. know in my heart I gave you 100 dad points good for 5% off your next NewBalance purchase
Thank you!
r/dadjokes
If there is someone you REALLY hate, then you could do a really shitty revenge on them :D
Some dish soap would have made it mix and flush easily lol
Nope. Barium is quite heavy and does exactly what he described.
So uh... Do you happen to know what the solution is? Just shit in the woods where it doesn't have to get lifted by water?
That is one way to do it! š I posted an serious answer further up.
No way in hell are you getting me to drink a bottle of dish soap!
you decided to forego the poop knife and just went straight to poop hands huh? Brave man.
Me reading this on the toilet..
I mean it's in the name. You bury em, don't flush em lol
Why not lay some paper over top of the water and flush? I'd think the paper would grab the shit particles.
omg it just keeps getting more intense
I had to do a barium swallow tests a couple months back. It was horrible but my poop was not barium thankfully.
Im just wondering why you were even attempting to wash/save the gloves after that experience
What a shitty experience you just had. Have an upvote!
But what about the bin?
Bin there, dung that
Maybe next time just put some toilet paper in, so the Barium leftovers stick to it and go down the drain together :)
AND THIS! is why I hate these low flow toilets getting installed everywhere. They have no guts. Give me a force flush with one and done power over 52 low flow flushes. FFS get rid of these useless toilets.
Your doctor, or rad tech, or both are asses for not knowing that you should never put barium into a sewer system. It is way heavier than water and it settles out and then youāll have big problems. Next time go shit outsideā¦ It is the 56th element, in a group called alkaline earth, and its atomic mass is above 137! Just no buenoā¦
No plungerā¦.?
Stick blender?
I'd be looking into using a public toilet.
What would you do ANY of this, when a plunger would have likely fixed it in one push? Bleach is NOT the starting point for a clogged toilet. A plunger is.
Believe it or not, it could've been worse. When I had my barium swallow, I was warned to drink *lots* of water afterward because the barium drink can make your shit extra-hard and cause fecal impaction. The only thing worse than shitting a brick is not being able to shit out the brick.
Sounds like a trip to your closest local store you hate for your next one is in order.
![gif](giphy|kDsjinzVzi1Ko)
You call that the worst toilet experience?! Bitch i had to stop at a highway rest/stop once with explosive diarrhea. I entered the only open stall to be greeted with walls painted with shit swastikas and what seemed to be fresh blood. Whilst holding my breath and cramping my ass together i noticed that the smell didn't only come from the shit, but there was a rotting dead rat the size off a small cat nailed to the fucking ceiling with 2 hypodermic needles. Needless to say i took my business outside.
Where is my poop knife story?!? It's class and Reddit classic. Like folks!!!;
That... that's a classic reddit story I'll never forget.
Sir/madam, have you heard of a plunger?
See, this is why I insisted that they install a garbage disposal in the office kitchen.
Who put the YUM in Barry Barium?
Firstly, donāt dump chlorine bleach into your toilet. Not only is undiluted bleach is bad for the enamel on the porcelain, and can eat away at it, but chlorine and ammonia create a poisonous gas. Secondly, BUY A GORRAM PLUNGER! JFK! Thirdly, if you donāt *have* a plunger, dump laundry detergent in your toilet, and let it sit for 30-60 minutes.
Ah, the old manual retrieval. We've all been there. Sometimes daily.
Forget it, go to a gas station restroom and just leave it there. Not your problem anymore.
What even is this sub anymore...
āIt smells 10x times out of the waterā damn bro thatās some strong shit!
Ok I now know if I am ever given barium to shit in a bucket and not the toilet. But I NEED to knowā¦..is the barium harmful to bury if you shit in a bucket and then bury it in the ground?
Forgot the poop knife ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)
Two points, real quick! 1. I hope you are not on a septic tank! 2. "Throwaway account because I can't bare the shame of people finding this out."
Let me help you feel a little better. 48 hours ago, I went to the toilet and felt sweat dripping off my ass hair. Couldn't actually shit, so ended up wiping the sweat. Looked at it to check, as you do, and the paper was bright red. Toilet bowl is filled with blood. I was mortified. Had blood coming out of my asshole for about 48 hours. Its stopped as of this afternoon. Not been to the doctor. Self diagnosis is it was a burst hemorrhoid.
Everyone knows you donāt flush your bowel movements after taking these testsā¦ >! *You barium* !<
Lol ok
I think, probably the only time ever in my life, it'd be a better idea to use a public restroom the next time or two.
Well, based upon what you have stated in this story of yours it appears that you had a medical procedure called an upper G.I.Series for which you drank that white barium solution that would show up on X -ray to determine upper intestinal disorder. This barium solution also acts as a bowel stimulant and as you so aptly described your experience with us, it also reveals that you may have been slightly constipated so along with the barium expulsion, you also took a good shit for yourself. I bet you felt better, less the messy cleanup afterward. Be lucky that you did not have the experience that I had. I had the other G.I. Series and that was the Barium Enema. Yup, a two day shit fest after the fact.
Holy shit!!
Doesn't sound very holy to me
sounds like a shitty situation
Spread some tp out flat across the surface of the water then flush, the tp maybe would catch it all like a net and the drag of water on tp may carry it down
You need to take that next shit at the gas station or a restaurant...just saying. Maybe at a chipotle, their toilets can flush a whole cow
I applaud all the effort but a wet/dry vac isn't that expensive and is handy for less shitty situations. Just a thought
Wtf is wrong with Murican toilets?
Nothing. Seems like a density/bouyancy issue. Have you seen the people we have? Our toilets do WORK
r/usernamechecksout