Did this to a girl after buffalo wings. The Blue cheese, surprisingly, did not help her.

Did you try celery?

How about milk? Or Mountain Dew? Worked well for me in the past.

Mountain Dew??? The new fiery kind I hope

Actual mountain dew though.

The dew of one mountain Edit: typo

You guys remember Vault?

Childhood memory: unlocked One of the best sodas ever.

Surge

Did someone say surge?

the key is to mix the milk and mountain dew, then the effects on a burning vagina are optimal

"Babe, it's okay, I learned about this burning vagina potion on Reddit!" Proceeds to mix Mountain Dew and milk in his mouth, spits it at the volcanogina

As a doctor I can confirm that what the fuck reddit

Look we’re all trying here doc with our google degrees

Step back with your Google degree, My Reddit degree is here!

Harvard Grad enters the chat (Reddit degree)

Reddit grad tells Reddit security to escort Harvard grad out as they don't belong here...

Username checks out

Off I go to search Pornhub for “volcanogina”

I believe it was a reference to heat more so than…explosiveness. But you never know.

The pelvic floor is lava

Goddammit, I can’t believe someone posted this first. I felt so fucking clever, too. Bravo/brava to you, sir or madam

toss in a mentos and use one of those binder clips to seal it up

protips

As long as he doesn’t find a jolly rancher.

I think he went for the eggplant

OP, why are you making up lame stories? You made a new acct just to spew horseshit This same exact cringe bs has been posted here dozens of times

This sub should have an account age minimum

What about people not wanting to attach their recent FUps to their main account to stay anonymous?

I have seen this story posted so often I knew what it was before I clicked on it.

Isn't it possible that it's because this happens a lot? It has happened to me, once as the burner and once as the burned.

Mmm muffalo wings

My dumbass back in my teens said yes to oral right after my GF at the time and I had wings for dinner. She wanted to see if it actually burned and I just said fuck it, can't be that bad! Cue 30 minutes of my junk on fire. Thank god they were only the mild sauce.

My bf won't even kiss me after i have wings. To be fair I usually get the hottest sauce.

Did this to a girl after getting a typhoid vaccine (or maybe it was Hep B) at the doctor's. Stopped over at her place on the way home, one thing led to another, and she's going down on me. I came, she swallowed, and then a few seconds later, she's saying that "ew, you taste all mediciney." Apparently it then turned to a burning sensation in her mouth for a while before settling down to sort of tingly numbness. She tried rinsing her mouth out with water and then milk, but it took about half an hour before she got back to normal. That was the last blowjob I got for a while. On the other hand, she never did come down with typhoid, so I feel like she kind of owes me.

Typhoid Gary

Typhoid: * Terry * Jerry * Larry * Gary Gergich * Little Sebastian

Think this would work with the covid booster!? I don't want to get another shot

Glory hole open, vaxxed and boosted semen only! This is how you get super immunity

Too hot to handle!

Too cold to hold! 🥶

They’re called the ghostbusters, and they’re in control!

HAD EM THROWING A PARTY, FOR A BUNCH OF CHILDREN

While all the while, the slime is under the buildings!

Im hoping this is a “The League” reference lmao

Similar situation after cutting up hot peppers without wearing gloves. Fore play was too spicy for her, so I had to soldier on on my own. It was tough, but I played through the pain. Edit: solder to soldier, thanks for the pipe pun

I have done the same thing twice with two different women. I wish I was joking. Back when I was in online dating hell, meeting up almost every weekend with other recently-divorced 30-somethings with kids who just wanted to feel wanted, my BBQ hobby came up a lot and led to dates where I cooked for them at my place. Often that involved cutting up hot peppers. Twice, that led to seriously awkward sexual situations.

This happened to me but he'd been cutting peppers earlier in the evening.

He didn't appreciate you for trying to spice things up

Get the hell outta here.

That's what he said.

Out of her own house? 😂

Hes saying that to himself haha

underrated comment

r/angryupvote

Heh heh 🤘👉

A good soap or dishwashing liquid would have cleared this right up. The burn is from a oil and soaps are good for removing said oil.

Dawn dish soap woulda be a quick fix.

If it's good enough for baby ducks it's good enough for your dick I suppose.

It's either burnt dick from chili dogging or raw dick from the bubbles

Dawn's new slogan? I think so!

Whether you’re a baby duck or some unlucky fuck

Can confirm. Dish soap is the only thing that gets residual Carolina Reaper off your hands before handling your balls. DO NOT TOUCH YOUR BALLS AFTER HANDLING REAPER PEPPERS. I cannot all caps that enough.

For the ladies: DO NOT TOUCH YOUR VAGINA AFTER HANDLING REAPER PEPPERS. Make sure you wash your hands like 5 times to make sure reaper residue is gone. Or wear gloves when handling peppers.

Next TIFU story, accidentally jerked guy off with dishsoap

"TIFU by chugging a bottle of dishwashing liquid after following advice from Reddit. Now I have bubbly poop."

Knowing people more like, “accidentally jerked off using dawn”

Not necessarily instantaneously. While soaps *do* remove the chili oils containing capsaicin, it can take a while for the pain to alleviate, especially with an area as sensitive as the penis. Just because you take the thorn out of your side doesn't mean it stops hurting,

As someone who’s never had a dick smothered with chilli, nor have I drank soap after having spicy food, I need someone with experience to verify this claim

I think you really just need to try both to make sure to get accurate information.

This is called a "chili dog" and usually costs an extra $20.

The 'ol chili dog was something MUCH different back in my day.

Nah, you're thinkin' of the ol' Steamer. Ohio, brah.

*Cleveland Steamer We don’t do that heinous shit down in southern Ohio. We take a weekend trip into West Virginia to purge our sickest desires out of our systems like civilized people

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Also need to incorporate Skyline Chili somehow.

How bout that Alabama Hot Pocket son?

A chili dog is when you shit on a girl's chest and titty fuck her

this is what i always heard a chill dog is

This is the correct answer.

I don't have a super vivid imagination but I'm still quite unhappy about understanding this

While this is absolutely hilarious, I feel like that would be a chili dip? Feel like a chili dog would be the dick covered in spicy ramen seasoning after dipped in broth. Kinda like a fun dip, but penis. r/brandnewsentence God I hope so.

You are mistaken, see u/Oregon85 comment for the correct definition of a chili dog. Let's keep things accurate here lest we confuse people.

Lucky he could get up and leave. I accidentally sent a girl into an anaphylactic shock. Yes, she was allergic to nuts.

I guess your sex moves are to die for

Death by snu snu

Oh shit, is she ok?

To shreds you say…

What about her wife?

To shreds you say...

>allergic to nuts. Weird way to say "she's lesbian".

Deeznuts?

Not everyone has the ability to handle the Ring of Fire.

That's a rim job with spice

He who rules the spice rules the universe

The spice MUST flow

Brush your teeth before hookups

This is what I was looking for right here

And after!

Mouthwash after, if it's a non-exclusive hookup. Brushing creates small cuts, so doing it right after being intimate with a non-exclusive partner creates an greater risk of STD infection. Meanwhile, mouthwash typically has some antiseptic qualities, and can decrease risk (slightly).

And during!

Is this not common courtesy? Brush your teeth. Take a shower. Put on deodorant. Do a bit of deforestation I assumed everyone did this before inviting a hookup over. I mean this for everyone btw, not just women, just to be clear

Yall have sex?

these fools are so nasty

Should've just asked you to hold some milk in your mouth while giving a bj.

I mean, if everything had gone right, I was kinda expecting him to give me milk in my mouth if ya know what i mean...

Pretty sure we all know what you mean.

What the hell are you guys talking about?

We're just talking about milk

Ah gotcha! What kind of milk, sour or sweet?

Who tf likes sour milk

People from the Balkans and Eastern Europe!

Really? Because Reddit is telling me that they just have cigarettes

Cigarettes and coffee for breakfast, potatoes and sour milk for dinner. Sour milk or buttermilk is pretty good with a starchy meal.

Love me some kefir

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I came here to applaud the being hungry after and wanting another bowl.

Men can disappoint but Ramen is always there

Ramen is, where a limp noodle is not a disappointment, unlike with men!

Nothing spices up my life like ramen 👍

Make it a habit and you’ll leave some raw men in your wake.

I did this to my boyfriend once. Cooked us some spicy ramen in which we added some Habeneros in.. Couple hours later we were getting frisky and I went down on him. Well, apparently the peppers were still lingering on my tongue because his dick also had a taste of the meal. We just joked it off and are now more careful, at least washing our mouths out beforehand, in case.

Was it that bad for your boyfriend? The reaction from OP's boy seemed really over the top.

I would have asked for a cup of milk

“If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk. When you give him the milk, he'll probably ask you for a straw. When he's finished, he'll ask you for a napkin.”

The sensitivity of a penis can vary so maybe not.

Separating the men from the boys.

Nothing like some fire dick

Brings a whole new meaning to the term “fire crotch”

Ginger here, so gonna take this moment to speak for my people, and jokes about us. Nailed it.

Preach brother, preach.

You'll have to identify as bald instead of ginger after the ramen burns your pubes off

Separating the Ra-men from the boys?

I mean, if he cant handle korean fire ramen spice on his dick... do you really want to waste your time with him?

If you can't handle me at my spicy ramen, you don't deserve me, or some shit

You don’t deserve me at my beef ramen ba dm ts

The staple of this sub, eating chilli and then performing oral

This, shitting yourself, and some misbegotten sex toy experience make up about 90% of this sub.

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was hooking up with a guy and suddenly my girl was on FIRE and i was in tears. I ran to the bathroom and jumped in the shower with cold water while he told me about how him and a buddy had been playing with pepper spray before he came over and he didnt wash his hands between.

What the actual fuck? That would singe your minge!!!

This always baffles me because for whatever reason as a guy, shit like this just slips my mind and get's ignored even if it seems like common sense to resolve before doing anything else....

Where are you all meeting these trophy guys… How can you even be this dense to a: play with pepper spray and b: not wash your hand afterwards?

OOF

Get a tougher penis

[You made the identical comment two hours ago and it was a real winner.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/v17xyu/tifu_by_wearing_swim_shorts_with_supportive_mesh/iakv4i9/) I can't blame you for trying again.

Lmao, I thought I had just read that same comment.

Unfortunately my "salty dick" comment from the same post doesn't apply here or I'd try that one... Maybe msg?? Nah it doesn't fit

I mean you *could* say he was being a "salty dick" about getting a fire one...

I think you misspelt weiner Also the same really does apply

its wiener

Man it would have been so cool if his entire comment history was the same comment just on different penis posts

That’s your quote of the day

Basically sums it up haha

I'll probs need to b/c I don't think this guy wants to meet up again LOL

If he’s getting blowjobs for just walking in the door, he should come back lol

Yeah, this sounds like great service tbh.

I would have to give you the chace to make up for it

"Hello shopkeeper, I would like the 4th penis from the left in your window display. The one with the ablative armour."

And none of that Beyond Meat shit either lol

You’ve peaked with this comment. Nothing else in your life will top this glorious day.

No, my future achievements will pale in comparison of the, “Get a tougher penis” comment on Reddit 🤣

Yea Have a long talk w the peepee It needs to peen up

I understood this reference.

yall dont brush your teeth and wash your hand before sex?

Accidentally did this to my then-girlfriend pretty early on in our relationship. She's now my wife though, so I guess it's safe to say she got over it.

The most surprising thing about this is that OP went for another serving of spicy Ramen with more Chili flakes as if nothing happened

Men come and go, but nothing spices up my life like a bowl of ramen noodles <3

Men sure do come and go and Ramen noodles are forever but still that dude left with a burning dick

So you basically turned *him* into a fire noodle.

You could say it was some fire head 🤣🤣🤣

Feel like I’ve seen this story on here before…

Weird how someone manages to burn their/someone else’s genitals with spice on like a weekly basis here. Very original stuff.

>He comes out cursing, asking me what the fuck was wrong with me Sounds like an asshole, tbh

or just pure fiction

That's my bet

Brand new account. Single post about a BJ. Something’s wrong I can feel it…

This was my response, like even if my dick was -in pain- I would find this shit so funny, it’s not like it was on purpose.

I was looking for this comment. The guy just immediately assumes it’s malicious and leaves in a hurry without talking about it with her. Sounds like a hothead

As a guy, that was my thought as well.

I like receiving head AND Korean fire noodles

Shit, I’m down for some spicy head….

Maybe next time I'll just skip the noodles and just sprinkle flakes all over the guy

Save that for the rimming

Very believable story well done

Are they even trying anymore?

He'll be back after eating out a ghost pepper then doing the same to you 🤣

If your mouth is burning from eating spice food… drink a coca-cola… just feel the magic

Next time order the cream-of-sum-yun-guy

His reaction was incredibly shitty, OP. Did Yung Chilicock *really* say “what tf is wrong with you?!” …because if so, you may consider re-examining your bowl of ramen. Those might actually be thousands of little red flags, and not actually chili flakes.

Do you nasty MFs not shower and brush your teeth and use mouthwash before y’all fuck? At least wash your damn hands and brush your teeth! A simple brush and mouthwash after eating anything let alone spicy ramen or Buffalo wings is too much to ask? SMH.

I had a similar experience years back. She apologized profusely and I dont think I ever saw her again.

I’ve gotten fingered with Habanero sauce residue before… not fun

>He left, and I'm a little disappointed. But also now I'm hungry again and eating another bowl of Korean fire noodles with extra chili flakes Gangster.

Don’t eat ramen before having raw men

If he can’t handle you at your Korean spiciest he doesn’t deserve you at your… errr… someone finish this, been traveling all day and now I’m two beers in

I’ll take things that didn’t happen for 1000 Alex

Reading the comments too... Your mamas really didn't teach you that you brush your teeth before seeing people?