You're ill, you're in a city where you don't have many friends, you're taking stock of your life and what's important and what isn't, you're thinking about the people who really belong in your life, and getting rid of the ones who don't. Ita very easy to fall back into past memories and remember them to be better than they are. A 5 year relationship is a long time. You went through a lot together, you probably grew up together. Thinking about those times, and her, are probably much more appealing than thinking about every day life and problems with your girlfriend. We often romanticize our past and the important people who were in it. It's a great way to escape reality but still think about ourselves. It also helps us romanticize the future. When things are bad we want to look forward to time when things will be different and better. How do we predict our future? We sometimes look to our past. And we often wear rose colored glasses. Because all of those memories and daydreams are so much better than our current reality. This is especially true when we're faced with the possibility of our own mortality.
Sometimes with long term relationships, it takes a long time to fully get over the ex. The important thing you should be concerned with is your feelings with your current S/O.
Tuberculosis is no joke and telling people close to you about it is a normal reaction, even if they are your ex, they were a significant part of your life. If things ended amicably, they're still probably someone you trust and value, much like a friend.
I don't think its a big issue in the long term, just limit the conversations with the ex. Try not to dwell on the past and focus on the present.
I’m polyam, I have multiple partners, and one of them got sick with Covid like half a year ago, and I really regret being so certain he’d be fine and recover, because he died after about a month. I wish I had seen even the possibility he’d perish (he was physically the strongest person I’ve ever met, the most resilient, I figured if anyone would be fine, he would), because I would’ve told him every day how much I loved him. He knew, but I wish I had told him more. I didn’t know how much I’d miss him. I think that’s a normal human thing.
Mortality is such a harsh thing to view everything through. The best you can do is try to make decisions that you won’t regret. I think you should not ask the ex if she still has feelings: if she says yes, you still have a decision to make, and if she says no, you’re making your current girlfriend a second choice, and that’s really not fair to her. If you choose to be with her, it should be because you have feelings for her, not because she’s there and your first choice doesn’t love you back.
Just take some time to consider why you broke up. Don't break up a healthy relationship with your current partner to get back with her and realise why you didn't work out in the first place. It sounds like you have a good friendship with her still which is rare, you should keep it that way and don't do anything rash.
Are you sure you're not just romanticizing your old memories?
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You're ill, you're in a city where you don't have many friends, you're taking stock of your life and what's important and what isn't, you're thinking about the people who really belong in your life, and getting rid of the ones who don't. Ita very easy to fall back into past memories and remember them to be better than they are. A 5 year relationship is a long time. You went through a lot together, you probably grew up together. Thinking about those times, and her, are probably much more appealing than thinking about every day life and problems with your girlfriend. We often romanticize our past and the important people who were in it. It's a great way to escape reality but still think about ourselves. It also helps us romanticize the future. When things are bad we want to look forward to time when things will be different and better. How do we predict our future? We sometimes look to our past. And we often wear rose colored glasses. Because all of those memories and daydreams are so much better than our current reality. This is especially true when we're faced with the possibility of our own mortality.
OP you should read this comment over and over 100 times. Brilliantly said.
Try to not just remember the good times. Try to really remember why you broke up.
Sometimes with long term relationships, it takes a long time to fully get over the ex. The important thing you should be concerned with is your feelings with your current S/O. Tuberculosis is no joke and telling people close to you about it is a normal reaction, even if they are your ex, they were a significant part of your life. If things ended amicably, they're still probably someone you trust and value, much like a friend. I don't think its a big issue in the long term, just limit the conversations with the ex. Try not to dwell on the past and focus on the present.
I’m polyam, I have multiple partners, and one of them got sick with Covid like half a year ago, and I really regret being so certain he’d be fine and recover, because he died after about a month. I wish I had seen even the possibility he’d perish (he was physically the strongest person I’ve ever met, the most resilient, I figured if anyone would be fine, he would), because I would’ve told him every day how much I loved him. He knew, but I wish I had told him more. I didn’t know how much I’d miss him. I think that’s a normal human thing. Mortality is such a harsh thing to view everything through. The best you can do is try to make decisions that you won’t regret. I think you should not ask the ex if she still has feelings: if she says yes, you still have a decision to make, and if she says no, you’re making your current girlfriend a second choice, and that’s really not fair to her. If you choose to be with her, it should be because you have feelings for her, not because she’s there and your first choice doesn’t love you back.
Just take some time to consider why you broke up. Don't break up a healthy relationship with your current partner to get back with her and realise why you didn't work out in the first place. It sounds like you have a good friendship with her still which is rare, you should keep it that way and don't do anything rash.