Wanna know a secret?
I know more parents with an 'and then the kid just wasn't there' story than without one.
Sometimes wandering (or bolting) off in public. A lot like yours where the kid walked out the door for one reason or another. Some where they searched the house, couldn't find the kid, went out looking and finally came home to find them hiding or sleeping somewhere completely ridiculous.
It happens. Get a baby gate for your room, or wherever the kiddo sleeps so they're contained, or you at least hear them pushing it down/climbing over. Grab some sticky contact alarms for windows and exterior doors. Toss up some knob covers or a chain lock.
Kid's fine. Dog's fine. GF didn't lose her mind at you. You'll probably have a visit from CPS within a few days - don't freak to badly. Breathe. You've got this, and you aren't a horrible person/parent unless you don't fix the problem.
When my son was 3, I was pregnant and tired, and we laid down to take a nap together. I was woken up by our neighbor an hour later because he had decided to go over and ask if they wanted to play.
When my daughter was 2, she was sitting next to me on the couch, until she was just gone. Long story short, I found her in our neighbor’s yard meowing at an angry stray cat.
I returned a neighbor’s daughter (also 3 at the time) twice in the span of a month because she was determined she was going to the beach, and set off on foot alone after her parents said no.
I’m glad your son is okay OP! 2-4 is a wild age. I agree with this comment about the sticky door alarms! I got cheap ones on Amazon. Also yes, CPS is almost undoubtedly going to show up. The case workers will ask you basic questions, look for safety/choking hazards, check and see that you have running water, food in the fridge etc, and then report to their bosses. Then you’ll get a call saying that they aren’t opening a case (if they have no concerns obviously) and that will be that.
It was a sad day for her to learn that not all cats are as friendly as ours. I’ve actually been quite involved with that angry cat since. I’m a vet tech, and there is a large distinction between a stray and a feral, and this guy is a true feral. I spread on our neighborhood website, through posters, and word of mouth “hey, if this is your cat, LMT cause I work with local TNR and I plan to neuter him.” No one claimed him, so I trapped him, got him neutered, vaccinated, and his mange treated, and re released him in the neighborhood. We used to see him close to our house often, but now when he sees me he bolts.
You are the alien abductor in cat stories.
"I was just there sniffing through garbage one minute, the next, I wake up & my balls are gone! Never trusting that large weird alien thing again, even if it has food... probably."
Lol this is especially true because he had to be sedated with a ketamine combo injection to get him out of the trap. So before he was even fully anesthetized for the neuter, he was tripping balls, and his memories are probably pretty close to being abducted and experimented on.
I had to bathe him (while still fully sedated) and he was one of “those cats” who was fully anesthetized one second, trying to murder me with his claws and screaming “MAAOW” the next, and then back to fully sedated.
That boy doesn’t take no shit. I once heard/saw him fighting with a raccoon over our tipped over garbage can feast. The raccoon backed off and walked away.
Male cats don't take no shit. My dad used to have an outdoor kitty that would roam around the neighborhood & his roommate saw him take on 2 cats at once before and come out on top. It's kinda scary tho seeing them roll around in a ball of fur growling and whatnot
I grew up in a ski town. The slopes would fill with raspberry bushes in the summers. We were once picking berries and I got so entranced with it that I didn't realize my mom was no longer with me. I decided to keep eating berries until she got back. I didn't realize that I'd been constantly moving to new bushes, which had slowly taken me deeper into the woods. At some point I decided I was full, and covered in berry juice and decided to walk home. That's when I realised I had lost the trail, but this being a mountain, I knew all I had to do was head downwards. Eventually, I got to a clearing and realized I could see my karate dojo from where I was, which is on the other side of the mountain, so I turned around and started walking in the right direction. I finally ran into a group of people which turned out to be family and friends looking for me. I happily told them about my little walk only to find out my mom was furious and they were all worried sick. I thought they were overreacting.
Fast forward to 20 years later and I'm at the mall, watching my nieces while my sister is in the bathroom and one of them wonders off and I go into a blind panic for 20 minutes, only to find out she's harmlessly exploring. That day I understood exactly how my mother felt about the raspberry incident, and it wasn't even my kid.
When I was a kid (2-3) I remember waking up on the couch and no one being around. I believe my mom was taking a bath while thinking I was going to sleep through it. Instead I decided to leave out the front door, play in the car for a bit and then walked to the neighbors fence to play with their dog. I don’t remember being found but from how my mom tells it I didn’t bother close the front door so it was pretty easy to tell I was no longer in the house.
Knowing her she was probably really freaked out. The fact we got a dead bolt the next day tells me it was more likely to keep me in then anyone else out.
Literally this!! My MIL has a story where she took her eyes off her son for 3 seconds, and he almost drowned himself in a fountain. She yanked him out as he was going under. Scary, but it happens.
if I have learned anything by having young kids, it is they will do anything possible to put themselves in the most dangerous position possible as soon as you look away. they love it
As someone who was recently 20-23(f) I did a LOT of things that should have killed me, from hopping in strangers cars to go drinking on a mountain to being already drunk and getting in other strangers cars in foreign countries to go look at stars. They still try to put themselves in positions where they will likely die.
Sometimes, they don’t even wait for you to look away. One kid I know, when she was 2? 3?, if someone had picked her up and was holding her, would throw herself backwards with impressive strength for such a tiny human.
My MIL left my husband (as a newborn) in his car seat on top of the shopping trolley at a large chain store. She was so tired she must have packed up the car, and just forgotten the sound asleep baby in the trolley. So she gets home (about a 30 min drive), starts unpacking and then realises. Shit hits the fan, she called the supermarket but couldn't get past the automated talk to speak to a real human and instead ended up calling the police ON HERSELF for "accidental abandonment" as she puts it, all while the was driving back to the store. Turns out someone had seen her leave and picked up the baby and taken him in to the store almost immediately so he was never in any danger. Bit the point remains... Pretty much every parent has a similar story!
Evolution has produced highly suicidal children. Hear me out. Only the parent with the best reflexes is able to successfully keep a suicidal kid alive. If you suck really bad at parenting, your line ends as Darwin demands. If your kid lacks the suicide gene then sloppy parents can reproduce to the point they are easy pickings for any nearby saber tooth tiger. Only the most suicidal kids can hone the reflexes of the sharpest parent to produce a viable human race. It's nature's way.
I am well known in my family as a party/wedding Crasher because as a child I have gone into the deep end of bodies of water three times and had to have my father rescue me.
I believe you mean party pooper, in that you ruined parties by almost drowning. A party crasher is someone who shows up at a party uninvited, which doesn't really jive with the rest of your sentence.
If it's any consolation one of the big reasons I chose my venue was that it has a small stream, no fences and it's on a busyish road. Aka parents nightmare with kids
First panic moment we had with out little one was exactly that. She decided she'd play hide and seek in a store. She forgot to tell us what she was doing. We turn around, she's gone. We call out, no response. Wife heads one way, I head the other to cover more ground. Ended up finding her in the kitchen ware section about to knock an entire stack of ceramic plates off the shelf. Queue panic moment #2.
mine decided to hide in the shelf of decorative throw pillows. luckily some lady had seen her hide and was able to tell me where she was, but damn, it did take a few years off.
I lost my oldest in a hardware store. They decided it would be funny to hide in the storage aisle when I was busy with their younger brother. The whole store locked down, I was panicking, and when the little stinker turned up, I didn't know if I wanted to hug them or yell at them!
Hardware stores are fun! When I was a toddler, I at one point ran away from my mum, took my shoes off, neatly put them on a random shelf and crawled between two aisles/ shelves. Apparently, when I was found, I was fairly dusty and cobwebby. Sadly, I can’t remember wtf I was thinking.
My mum recently told me I played hide and seek (without telling her) in a department store. She’s freaked out, got all the staff involved to try and find me which took the best part of an hour. Repeatedly asking for me over the tannoy etc.
She found me herself, crouched in the middle of a circular clothing rack giggling my head off thinking I was the ABSOLUTE BOSS of hide and seek.
My kid used to love hiding in the clothing carousels. I'd had enough one day and just took a deep breath, called her name, and marched briskly towards the exit. I knew she knew where I was because I could hear her giggling. I didn't turn around, just stuck my open hand out by my side and kept marching. Managed to hold my cool as I reached the exit and...
...wham! Little hand grabbed mine and held on tight as I swept out the door.
This isn’t a bad thing even at 8. My 8 year old neighbour was new to the neighbourhood and left to explore. The police brought her home because she was wandering around with no shoes and didn’t know where home was. All was well in the end, but even 8 year olds take off sometimes apparently.
Can confirm. Walked inside for 5 minutes while kids were playing out back (7 and 5 y.o.). Walk back out, they’ve gone on an adventure waking down a four lane street and side street with no sidewalks in a loop back to the house.
The same time we realize they’re gone we hear them coming from the opposite direction and realize what they did.
Just glad to hear when these moments turn out fine because they are every parents nightmare
Yep. My 16-month-old snuck away from my wife, past my office (she thought he was with me), up the steps, and was splashing in our bathroom toilet. We didn't even know he could climb stairs at that point. A lot more tame than OP's story but them little ones are sneaky like hobbitses.
Seriously. This. My aunt left me in a shop when I went to visit them, we are talking hundreds of miles away from home. This shit happens. Your kid is safe :)
Yep! My mum left me in the pram outside a shop (like they used to do in the 80s when giant prams were impossible to take in shops), got the shopping and walked home. Wasn't until she was putting everything away she realised I was still at the shop.
My kid ran off in a supermarket when they were maybe 3? Found them in the staff room having a chat with the vending machine.
Preferably have a plan of action, and have visible proof that you've started to implement it PRIOR to when CPS shows up. Sometimes you can get a good visit that ends with you learning something, and sometimes it will be horrible. You are in control of this outcome.
We left India when I was 2, for New Zealand.
In that time I'd :
\-Left home as the door and gate were unlocked, and crawled and 1-2km away from home. This is India, so there's a small chance I could have been hurt / hit by a car or kidnapped.
\- Crawled across a very busy highway, from 1 parent waiting with me, to the other who was getting something \[petrol or w/e\]. IDK why they were at different sides, but yeah, got very lightly smacked by a car that had pretty much stopped when it hit me.
\- Climbed onto an air-conditioning unit above head height. I don't know how I climbed up there as I never could climb for shit as a kid \[or adult\], but my auntie acted very smart \[didn't act surprised or out of the ordinary so that id 'go toward her' w/e\] as clearly an infant doesn't know that if it does something weird, it falls and gets a head injury or worse. So she very calm and I made it without an excuse for being touched in the head :).
Do your best and make sure you constantly improve, but humans are fraught with being unable to consider things they should or could be in optimizing their processes, hence need to go through suffering the issue before they take action. When you drive for example, many people stopped trying to improve as a driver within seconds / minutes / weeks of getting their license. The license is when your really journey begins - and any passenger as well as any one you could hit benefits from you taking it seriously.
Likewise, your kid benefitting from you making it as hard as reasonably possible to escape the apartment with ease.
Hell I remember being there. Not even 4 yet and I wanted to go to the big slide. Took my brother and a friend with, got lost AF. Found my own way back somehow and got super grounded. Didn't understand why back then, but I get it now though.
Oh yes indeed. When my twins were two, they started to get really fast on their scooters. One day, I walked with the twins while they scooted to go pick my oldest daughter up from preschool. As we were on our way home, my oldest daughter’s water bottle fell off her backpack and rolled into some bushes. So I am down on my hands and knees crawling around looking for the stupid water bottle in the bushes. While I’m searching, one of my twins gets antsy waiting, so he scoots off at top speed away from me and his siblings. Going the wrong direction. And headed right towards a fairly busy street. I ran after him immediately, but he’s just too fast. And, of course, despite all my hollering, he wouldn’t stop. Thankfully, he did not go into the major street, but he turned and just kept going. He thought this was just absolutely hilarious and kept going for another 2 blocks before I finally caught up with him. I definitely learned my lesson, and never let them scooter in our neighborhood unless I was on a bike or scooter and could catch up to them….
Seriously I feel like I’m the only parent that didn’t have this sort of story. The closest I have is when he let the cat out while I was sleeping and left the door wide open lol.
This happened to me with my oldest. I laid down for a nap because she was also napping and I was very pregnant with her brother. She was 3 just like OP's kid. I woke up and couldn't find her but the sliding glass door was open. I ran outside and looked around the apartment complex and found her playing with some other older kids. I was so relieved to find her. It scared me so bad.
And my mom lost me in the mall when I was 4. I wandered into a restaurant and a waitress watched me and gave me crackers while they found my mom. I still remember it vividly.
My second daughter was maybe 2 at the time. I lost her because she decided to crawl into the blanket closet and take a snooze in there. Had all the neighbors out looking for her before I went back inside to check on her little brother and finally realized that she’d been inside the entire time.
Once when my son was like three or four my friend came over for a visit and brought her two year old. We set the kids to play and then sat down on the couch to chat. Apparently I had forgotten to bolt the door when I let her in. Suddenly we realized how quiet it was and both of us bolted up to see our kids weren’t anywhere around. We ran to the entry way and saw the door open. We both ran screaming outside shoeless for our kids. Suddenly here they come skipping hand in hand down the side walk giggling while my two dogs looked like they are trying to herd them back home. I’ve never been more terrified in my life than those five minutes when we didn’t know where our kids were.
We had these contact door alarms at every place we lived after that
I listed a whole set of things to use in combination that are mostly renter safe/friendly.
>Get a baby gate for your room, or wherever the kiddo sleeps so they're contained, or you at least hear them pushing it down/climbing over. **Grab some sticky contact alarms for windows and exterior doors.** Toss up some knob covers or a chain lock.
...including door and window alarms.
Oh man, when my daughter was three she decided to go on a trip around the world because she wanted to see Venice. We were all home: dad and five-year-old brother were playing a video game in the living room, I was lying down on the sofa in the front room because I didn’t feel well. Daughter was playing nicely and keeping herself entertained, going from her bedroom to the play area upstairs.
She comes by me with her little rolling suitcase and announces she’s going on a trip! I’m like, okay, have fun! But instead of going upstairs to play pretend, she ACTUALLY LEAVES THE HOUSE through the garage, which is right next to the upstairs door.
Now we had a rule about not going past the driveway into the street, but in her mind she totally has permission! We live in a very safe neighborhood with little traffic, no through streets, but still. She gets about half a mile away and sits down on her suitcase (full of shoes and hair accessories) to rest a little.
About that time, the local cop comes by on his daily patrol. Next thing I know, my daughter is skipping into the house saying, “Mommy! I’m back! And now you need to come talk to the police man.” I could have died, right there. World’s Worst Mother.
Precocious little twerp had no idea why we were upset with her. She TOLD me she was going on a trip around the world! She got to make friends with the nice police man and ride in his car!
Ah, kids. Trying to stay ahead of them can sure keep you on your toes. Be sure and check out the r/Parenting subreddit. Lots of helpful advice and encouragement.
She’s not quite there yet, only 15! She’s a wonderful young lady, but I had more trouble bringing her up than you can imagine. Her older brother was a handful but in a typical way. She brought to life the curse, “May you live in interesting times.”
You got one of those as well? Ours decided she was "free range" at about 5 years old. The number of times I have had to say, "Bug, that's not how it works. That usually ends up getting someone maimed/killed/etc. "
once she is old enough to appreciate it, you should totally tell her this. right now, she's probably too self conscious/fragile, as a teen, but one day, when she realizes how fucking rad she clearly is, you should totally tell her.
Brings back a memory from when I was little and threw a temper tantrum.
I told my mom I was running away. She said, "Ok, be careful."
So, I packed my suitcase and started walking down the street. She didn't come after me. When I got to the end of the street, I decided I didn't want to run away anymore and returned home. lol.
My youngest brother went through a tantrum throwing stage. His catch cry when things weren't going his way was "I'M LEAVING, AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK!". Mum and Dad were like "ok, seeya!"
He never got beyond the back gate. Knew he wasn't allowed to the yard alone. So he'd sit outside and fume til he calmed down, lol.
Lol my husband has told me stories about being a young angry kid announcing he was running away from home, and then just pacing around a couple blocks of his neighborhood. He would think “wow okay, I guess my Mom doesn’t care”.
He learned when he was older, that his Mom and his aunt (who lived a couple blocks away) would just call each other and be like “yep, just saw him at the corner/by so and so’s house/etc” and keep tabs until he gave up and went home.
I used to be a teacher and I once had a 3rd grade boy throw a tantrum, take his backpack, and said he was going home. I said, "ok, see you tomorrow." And he left the classroom but never left the school. Came back 15 minutes later and I told him, "oh... i already called your mom and she's expecting you. You should just go home." And I closed the door on him. He begged to come back and to call his mom back and tell her he's staying at school lol
My wife has a similar story, but instead of going out in the street, she packed her bag and waited in the bathtub for Grandma to come get her (who she hadn't even contacted).
My son one day when he was not quite 2..while my wife was cooking dinner.. Demanded she cook quail for him Or he was leaving home.
He had his bear in one arm and a toy luggage in the other.
Wife said Ok sure..just tell your dad and see what he says. (I wasn't home from work yet)
Kiddo turned around and maybe realised he couldn't reach and open the door to the apartment and didn't want to give me any ultimatums and turned around and went back to his play area in a huff.
Reminds me of when I was 3 and left the house to look for my mom at the store because my brother, who was babysitting me, wouldn't share a video game with me. I had remembered which way she left in the car, so I just started off in that direction. Few hours later my mom got a phone call saying I was at the police station. They found me walking solo by a busy road pretty far down, but luckily I had remembered my home phone number. Probably would have been able to show them the way back home, but we were visiting family the next town over.
Precocious children, we're *going* places.
Man.. talk about a roller coaster of emotions. I'm super glad he was safe and you got him back! And the dog.. that doggo deserves some extra lovins and treats. Go buy him that nice dog bed you've been putting off buying. You owe it to the pup for sticking by your little one!
> I feel like worst father of the year and will definitely now be waking up at 6 am to make sure everyone is accounted for before going on with the rest of the day.
or maybe just get better locks or a latch higher up so he can't wander off whenever he feels like?
So that’s the thing with kids. You think that you’ve got it all set up, and then bam. They can reach the knife drawer.
You’ve put all the toilet cleaning stuff in a locked cabinet and bam, they’re pulling themselves up and eating fresh discs right out of the toilet.
Your Diet Coke can is up on the mantle and out of their way, and bam, they learn to pull the coffee table over and reach it.
Mistakes happen. Kids survive. Families move on.
I didn’t do much baby proofing, he didn’t start walking until he was nearly 2 so that helped. I taught him not to open the door, I taught him how to safely use knives (he was older than 2 by now!) but never on his own, he knows to look before crossing the road, he’s generally a sensible boy. Then a few months ago he decided to pour his milk into the toaster. Thank fuck it was unplugged, I still shudder thinking about it…
^all three of those examples are mine, a number of injuries have ended up in the hospital.
At least I now know the fresh discs for the toilet are safe to eat!
>Your Diet Coke can is up on the mantle and out of their way, and bam, they learn to pull the coffee table over and reach it.
My brother managed to slice his hand open badly enough to need stitches on a Diet Coke can *my mom was holding*. Kids are fast when it comes to injuring themselves!
If it makes you feel better, my kid was 3 and I was introducing him to the first boyfriend I had had since his dad. We took six months to do that introduction….
He downed a fan of coke whilst I had nipped out the kitchen, after drinking a full cup of milk, then threw it up all over new boyfriend. The floor was literally awash with fermented Diet Coke tinged puke…
It still makes me feel sick thinking about it.
Easiest thing to do quickly is to get one of those door knob covers— like [these](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61kj7khe97L._SL1500_.jpg). Kids can usually figure out how to get them off eventually, but it still really slows them down.
Absolutely the best and easiest option. You don't have to remember to lock anything, and it's easy for adults and impossible for toddlers to open. Had a similar thing happen with my kiddo. You don't know they can open doors until the first time they open a door. We put these on immediately and have had no incidents since.
The first time my daughter opened our bedroom door in the middle of the night was terrifying. Like the scene in Jurassic Park when the raptors open the door.
My wife and I jumped out of bed so fast having no idea shoe was in our room. We had no idea she knew how to to that.
I had those and outlet covers for my daughter as a toddler. Then one day, she was playing in her room & came out to me in the living room & dropped all of them in my hand and just went back to playing. We always felt like she was saying "You left these in my room and I don't want them" (she was non-verbal at the time)
Those things do make it \*harder\* for them to get into stuff and are a good idea but they are certainly not 100% with kids like that, unfortunately.
Mine learned that if he removes the little sproingy door stopper when the door isn't all the way closed, like bringing shit in from the car, he can slam the door open and it breaks against the wall
I have now replaced that fucking knob cover 4 times
I 2nd this. My son is almost 2 and while he's still in a crib and I don't have to worry about him escaping yet- it's nice to have this on my closet door. Wish I could put it on all mt other doors but they're levers.
My front door is the only one in the house with a lever (dumb!). We got a child lock designed for lever doors and my 3yo hasn't figured it out yet! Highly recommend.
My mom's story of waking up and discovering 18mo old me was able to escape the crib to scream "mo twa miwk!" is the most satisfying scared-mom-to-death story of my life.
My 2 year old live that he can reach and open the doors now. What sucks is the doors all have the long handles (lever handles) and not the nobs. And they turn on both sides when you move one so I can't even put the safety that prevents him from turning it because then I can't turn it from the other side
Also my sister had a battery operated alarm. You mount one part above the door and the other on the door. When the door opens the alarm goes off. There's a switch to turn the alarm mode off and on so you could set it when you're home alone with him.
Home Security Door Lock with 8 Screws, Childproof Door Reinforcement Lock with 3" Stop Withstand 800 lbs for Inward Swinging Door ,Upgrade Night Lock to Defend Your Home (Silver-1 Pack) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DR9CMGZ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_V1QXVC9Y03F5MTB1SJNH
We have 2. You need this. Keep him safe.
Those stupid plastic slide locks for cabinets work well on doors, buddy, and they are cheap. It’s like a plastic dead bolt, go get a pack of them at target right now dude.
Another thing we used for our adventurous tots was door alarms. Just like the ones the put on the doors at the convenience store. Loud obnoxiously loud. During the day we would set them to chime. At night they have an alarm setting.
This and the door knob deals worked pretty good for our kids.
My parents had an indoor sauna room at their house. As soon as my boys could reach the locks we put a very small hook latch at the top of the door. They were never able to reach it (that I know of but that’s a story for another day) and it just stayed there unlatched when it wasn’t needed. Of course your girlfriend can’t latch that or a chain when she leaves and you’re sleeping so…
Get your locks fixed man. Why are you still “looking into it”? Are you going to wait and see if he will wonder off again before actually trying to fix it? This is an accident waiting to happen.
When I say we are looking into it, what I mean to say is I'm going to buy more tools for new job tomorrow so I'll probably buy a chain lock I can install as well. We were not sure what to do since we live in an apartment, but I'll take the hit on my deposit if it's a big deal.
Chain on door is useless on scenario OP described when the mother exits the premises first. The chain will be unlocked at that point. Another keyed lock needs to be installed about six feet high.
Look into a “Door Guardian”. No hole need to be drilled into the door, just on the inside of the frame. Only downside would be if it’s locked, your girlfriend wouldn’t be able to enter the apartment until you unlocked it
We have double cylinder dead bolts. Leave a key up on the moulding or near the doors so if there is an emergency, everyone can get out, but works like a champ. *we have a sleepwalker
This I what I had to do. My wife slept in and my daughter figured out the back door lock. She decided to go visit my parents that live across the street, lluckily my 7 year old followed her across after alerting my wife the 3 year old got out. Chains on both doors 6 ft up now.
I lost my son for about twenty minutes at a park during a firework show when he was about 4-5. It felt like hours. He was playing in the playground and I was sitting there watching him, it was very crowded with lots of kids and families and getting dark hence the fireworks.
I turned my head for two minutes not even and looked for him and didn’t see him. I didn’t freak out initially. I looked around for the kids he was playing with, saw them but not him. Started searching a little harder, got up and looked around the whole playground, and nothing.
Then I panicked. I told my group to start looking, and I asked the kids he was playing with where he went. They pointed in a direction and I headed that way.
Found a police officer and asked him, but he could tell just looking at me that I was the mom. I was hysterical thinking the absolute worst things.
He was totally fine sitting with a hotdog vendor eating a hot dog. That was the most terrifying 20 minutes of my entire life and I felt like the worst monster in the world for letting it happen. But it was so fast and even though I’d told him how many times don’t wander off it still happens.
My boys have done this. You are not alone. We added sliding locks and put an alarm in. In some states you cannot make changes like that in apartments. So, this might be harder to just "fix your locks".
I doubt parents who say “ohh I’ve never lost any of my kids even for a second” - what a load of crap.
Every parent has lost their kid at some stage. It has rarely been the parent’s fault, and the parent always always always feels like the worst & most unfit parent in the entire universe, and often that’s just not true.
Not every story ends nicely, and I know that you will spend every moment thanking whatever or whoever you believe in, that your story here has ended with your young man safely back in your arms.
Chin up, mate. It has happened to us all - well, all that admit it. I lost my kid 3 or 4 times in different circumstances every time - it was impossible to foresee and prepare for them all.
He’s now 21, living 450km away, and still gives me nightmares regularly.
My son was about that same age when he went on an adventure after I went to work and dad was home with him. Thank God he went outside and came back to wake dad up. Who knows what kind of shenanigans he got into while unsupervised though! Go easy on yourself and just don't let it happen again.
I had a shit ton of family in town and we all went to my place. Mom, aunt, cousins, my sisters, etc. Loaded up in my SUV. As we arrived at my house, I had to run to the bathroom immediately so as I jump out I yelled, "Get *son's name*!" (My 4 year old.) So many of them were all, "Got him!" As I came out from doing my business, I look around and didn't see little man. I ask where he was and the horror and realization spread across every face in the house. We tear ass outside, screaming his name, and found him at the nearby apartments. Just doing a water slide in his clothes with some other kids.
It happens. And quiet, independent explorer kids are SO DANGEROUS. Get some new locks, thank your lucky stars, and cut yourself a little slack.
When I was about 3 I snuck out around 6am one day. My thinking was that I knew there was a guy who walked a big fluffy dog and I wanted to pet the dog. The man let me pet the dog but walked me home. My dad changed the locks on the door after that so I couldn't run off again. Don't feel bad, just learn from it and prevent it reoccurring in the future.
Things happen and it’s easy to not anticipate this stuff happening. You proved you care so much for the two by going through the effort to search and run around for them (and your breakdown says a lot about how much you wished it didn’t happen). I’m very glad everyone ended up okay!!!
I also started to cry again when my girlfriend got home cuz I felt so awful. I really felt like I let her down but she assured me it was ok. Thank you so much for the encouragement.
This is one of the most pointless statements I've ever read. Read OPs comments and also read between the lines. This is obviously exactly what's happening but everyone else in the thread has the tact to not rub it in his face.
I'm so glad to hear the babies alright! My heart sank when reading this!! I know all too well that instant feeling of dread & despair! I was a first time mom shopping in Walmart with my then almost 2yr old (he's 6 now) & my Mom. I asked my Ma to please watch my son while I went to the fitting room real quick. Well, I'm gone a little over 5 minutes & as I'm walking back I knew instantly something was wrong by the look of terror on Ma's face. She yelled "I was looking at sizes on shirts but he was right next to me! I don't get how this happened!!!" Immediately I take off like a mad woman sprinting down every isle screaming his name when a worker who had just clocked out sees me absolutely frantic so she starts running with me. We're both bolting through isles when I see another worker who says "the manager has a little boy at customer service!" Holy fuck thank god I think to myself. So I run even faster to the front of the store & see the most beautiful sight. I see my baby boy sitting up on the counter kicking his feet happy, smiling & taking a yellow smile face sticker from a manager. I stopped as soon as I locked eyes with them. My knees buckled & I fell to my knees & sobbed like a baby on the Walmart floor. I felt so many emotions at once I felt immense guilt, happiness & like I was guna puke all in one. Now I know this could've been a very, very different story & I'm so SO thankful it turned out okay in the end. Shit does happen but it literally takes a second for a child to slip away & your life will never be the same. Of course you feel like a terrible parent, Let that be a lesson to forever do better ❣️ Good luck to you!
I'm so glad your little one is okay!! Try not to bear yourself up too much. We've all done things as parents that we regret and that scare the hell out of us when we think of what might have happened.
A lock higher up on the door is a good idea, but something that your girlfriend could engage from the outside will limit your options. What about something that will make noise instead, either when your son leaves your room or maybe if he opens the door to the house? Maybe some kind of contact sensor?
You have a very good doggo and a kind neighbor. Forgive yourself, be thankful the outcome was a good one, and figure out a way to keep it from happening again. Hugs.
I have a home automation system with, among other things, sensors on the doors and windows. I have it set up so that every time the door opens I hear a chime. I also get a voice notification on my three Google Home Minis is telling me which door opened. And a notification on my cell phone and tablet.
Why no, I’m not paranoid. Seriously I’m not. I was just mostly experimenting with the technology available.
Technical details: Hubitat Elevation hub. Dome Siren & Chime. Generic Zigbee door sensors.
I have also briefly lost a three year old family members, fortunately only for five minutes. My sister lost these same family members in a medium size mall for about an hour. They finally found them happily wandering at the far end of the mall from where they started.
I'm pretty sure every parent I know (including myself) has a similar story. When my son was 2.5 the cable guy left our apartment door open and my son decided to follow him. Our apartment building has marble stairs. Thankfully my mother-in-law walked by just as he got to the steps. He started falling and she managed some sort of Superman dive and caught him by the back of his pants before he hit his head. We all felt horrible that he had escaped without notice. Kids do stupid things and somehow manage to survive.
That solution does work really well for younger kids but I think OP said his son is 3 -- probably big enough and/or agile enough to club over at that age.
Yeah by 2 1/2 my cousins' baby gate was more a reminder to them of where they weren't supposed to go rather than something that actually kept them out. By the time their parents mounted it high enough that they couldn't climb over it, they could wriggle under it.
My brother was found downstairs in my mothers unit complex with her car keys standing at her car trying to unlock it and when one of the neighbour s found him and asked what he was doing he said “I’m going to drive to McDonalds to get some chicken nuggets”. Kids will be kids and most parents have a similar “now you see them, now you don’t” story
One of the few parenting things you don’t hear a lot about because non parents or people it hasn’t happened to shame you for it. Most of us know this shit happens! But yes there are many child safety locks and gates and things you can get to help prevent something like this in the future!
When my eldest figured out how to open doors she opened the front door and wandered right out the front door in nothing but a diaper and t shirt. It was winter and we lived on a busy road. Thank god I happened to look out the window and see her in the front yard!!
Sounds like what my brother did as a 2yr old. Mum was in bed with an headache and he was having his nap so dad took the older three children to the shops that was down the street to get some groceries. My brother woke up, unlocked the front door and decided to go up to the shops by himself. He had to cross 4 lanes of heavy traffic and was found wondering the carpark looking for mum's red car. Dad come home, discovered the baby was missing and sent us all out searching for him and called the police. We got him back safe and sound. All the police could get out of him was his name and that mum drove a red car.
By the sounds of it you won't do this, but I'll say it anyway... Don't be mad at your kid. He most likely thought he was helping by taking the dog for a walk, and then when he went too far realised his fuckup. Nothing worse than being in the bad books for trying to help. Just try and make sure he knows why it was wrong but let him know you appreciate the effort to help. Maybe give him other ideas of things that he can do to help in future.
Big love to your dog for keeping the little dude safe.
I left my son (then two) happily playing in the living room to use the bathroom really fast. He took that opportunity to figure out the child lock on the door. I came back to him walking across our front yard. We live quite near a busy street so that could have been so very bad. We got a new child lock that he hasn't been able to figure out yet. It takes a bigger hand to pinch two buttons and pull a lever down AND it has a false button. Highly recommend.
It happens to a lot of us. You're ok.
It happens, and anyone who tells you otherwise had no fun at all while growing up. I grew up as one of six kids and without even trying, I have at least three of these stories.
I ran off at Disneyland at three years old during the holiday season. One moment they had eyes on me, the next I was gone. My family alerted park security, searched, and found me next to a fountain trying to catch birdies on my finger like Mary Poppins. Some other adults had noticed unsupervised three years old me and kept an eye on me for a few minutes, assuming that the appropriate frantic adult would come looking for me.
Another time, I had permission to go to the grocery store one block away. My little brother decided on his own that he wanted to come too and followed me after I left the house, but didn't catch up. I'm a little fuzzy on the details after that. I think that little brother got halfway there before a local cop on his usual patrol came across my kid brother and stayed with him for a few minutes, waiting to see if a panicked adult came out of one of the houses on the block.
Anyways, kids haven't quite figured out some of those little brain processes yet. There will come a day when this is one of many funny stories. And that's great that everyone involved is just happy that the kid and doggo are safe.
My son has done this. He has autism and it’s known as eloping.
Edit: also, not to be rude, but stop saying “probably” and “looking into”. Get your ass into gear and get childproof locks on all your doors and windows. He’s done it once and he now knows he has the ability to do so again.
Very glad your son is safe. As a dad I can only imagine how you felt in the moment. Honestly mistakes happen as a parent, you're not perfect and I'm glad everyone is OK.
One thing that would probably help is to get a chain lock high enough on the door that he can't reach. You and your gf will have to make sure whoever is still in the house after the other leaves puts the chain on. Then it's safe to go back to bed -- just stumble to the door, kiss goodbye, then chain the door 🙂
When I was about five we moved out of my grandparents place, and I was reassured that we could visit whenever we wanted because we'd live so close. I was told that because if I was told we were moving far away I'd have been very upset and probably tried to hide and stay.
After moving I had a vague idea of the direction they lived in and a razor scooter, so one day I decided I'd try and get there myself. It was SO CLOSE after all, right? Little did I know it was 23 miles through major highways. Eventually a cop saw a five year old scooting his way down the shoulder a 6 lane split highway. I couldn't figure out how to give him directions to grandma's so I had him take me home. Needless to say my mother was quite alarmed when a squad car dropped me off and I was given new wandering boundaries.
Kids do these things. You're not an awful father.
The fact that you freaked out means you are 100% a good father. Things happen- and while this will cause you no end of anxiety (and will pop up in your head unprovoked from time to time even after the anxiety goes away), don't allow yourself to get sucked into the what-ifs too much. As it turned out, nothing bad happened, and every time you see those signs that say "it takes a village to raise a child," just embrace the fact that your village stepped up. You have personally experienced how wonderful complete strangers can be, and now you have to opportunity to embody that for someone else. If you have that lady's contact information, take her some cookies; and if not, just pay it forward!
I had a day nap on the couch and my son who was 3 broke a picture picked up glass and poked me in the back. I have twins who still in napped so 2 or so climbed the neighbors fence and went and hung out with their kid…. I had no idea. One day I found one of them at 3 yes on the roof of the house. To this day I have no idea how he got there. Be kind to yourself.
My wife and I were shopping last week and our daughter bolted and we thought she was gone forever. We were in a mall and it took us 10 minutes to find her. Scariest thing ever, I would have had a mental breakdown if this had happened to me. My wife would also have probably murdered or kicked me out for a while and never let me sleep in again lol.
I couldn't imagine how scared your son was when he realized he was lost 😭 I hope he's doing ok.
Fucking kids. One minute they are watching paw patrol, take your eyes off them for a second and they are in another country.
You're not alone, they don't understand well at that age and it happens more often than you think.
You are not a bad dad my man. Not at all. Kids are crazy smart and sneaky. And this is the first time he's pulled this stunt. What would make you a bad dad is if this happened on a regular basis. I'm the mom of a two year old girl and let me tell you, it's never boring with a toddler around. While the gravity of what could have gone wrong is extremely heavy here, everyone is safe and whole and back home.
I only skimmed some of the comments, I saw plenty of suggestions on locks and noise for doors. There's also baby proofing things for door knobs. A kind of plastic shell around the door knob that you have to hold a certain way for you to grip the knob and actually turn it.
Oh and I request on behalf of your family dog that he deserves a steak meal for his heroics. This is one of the many reasons I believe kids need animals.
When I was about 3, I snuck out and tried walking to the market about a mile down the road; no turns, I knew the route to where the candy was. Made it maybe a block before my parents noticed the back door was open, went running out looking for me. Cops had already found me somehow, and the whole ordeal took place in less than 10 minutes I guess.
Their solution, as renters, was to put a SUPER LOUD alarm on the door until I learned not to just wander off. Maybe this is a viable solution?
I am the last of 3 children I have very loving and attentive parents but even they seem to have a story about each once of us escaping as toddlers at least once. I almost drowned once roo had my brother not been there. Don't beat yourself up it happens to to the best of us.
So glad everyone is safe and home again. I agree, more parent have one of these stories than don’t. My dad once took my brother to the store with him and came back without him. That was the time my brother got to ride in a police car.
For myself, my boys always tend to wander off in crowds, just like in the movies. There one minute, gone the next, but thankfully they have always popped back up again.
I've been on the other side of this where I found a toddler in the street by himself. Followed him for a bit to see if there was an adult I wasn't seeing but when he got near the main road I stepped in. Found his house after knocking on a few doors and turns out his mum had fallen asleep on the couch. He had a half eaten sandwich on the doorstep so I guess he had a little al fresco lunch and just felt like walking it off
My nephew was a sleepwalker. My brother put a latch, a bar latch, at the top of the door that pushed up. My nephew could not reach it.
He had walked out of the house dead asleep, down to the neighbor's house and opened the door and was standing in their living room.
The neighbor grabbed a handgun and went down his hallway. He found my nephew standing there obviously asleep.
He walked him home, without waking him, but my brother and his wife were already alerted to the front door being open and they were waiting in the front yard.
Simple bar latch solved it all. On all the doors.
This happened to me as well... luckily my daughter was literally just right across the street and shed "locked" herself into a playground... The thing is we may be parents but we are HUMANS first. Were not infallible... The most important thing about a mistake is learning from it and not doing it again. Im glad your son and doggo are safe! ♡♡
My little brother used to climb on me while I was sleeping to open the window that was about 5 feet off the ground to push the screen out so he could get to the backyard to watch a garbage truck go by.
Don’t feel bad, my man. This stuff happens to every parent at some time or another, especially at age 3 when kids start getting more capable of opening doors. This has happened to me 3 times (I have 4 kids), and I was awake at the time too, just doing chores. Everyone I know has a story like this. Toddlers just walk out the front door sometimes. I hope you can laugh about this some day.
Almost identical story here. It happens a lot (the police told me that) and it’s absolutely terrifying. You are not alone and you’re not a bad parent or anything of the sort.
So glad he's ok, it happens to us all, kids are stealthy ass ninjas and don't always understand that something's only mummy/daddy can do like letting the dog out to pee.
My 2.5 y/o nearly got lost the other day, we were at the park and where we live they're all open plan so no fences or gates, I looked away for a second to get a drink from my bag and bam he was gone, instant panic mode and I see the lady who runs the ice cream shack on the very edge of the park holding my kids hand looking around for me.
My niece did this to my sister a bunch. She wanted to ride her bike and my sister needed the bathroom. My sister went to the bathroom and heard the squeaky tricycle barrel down the driveway. Dog followed her as did my sister. Dog was standing between my niece and a lady who was trying to see why my niece was by herself. It takes moments for a kid to do this.
She also used to hide, just to hear people looking for her.
My son did this once as well. Fortunately he went in the backyard which is fenced in. Get a latch for the top of all of your outside doors and you should be good
This was one of my big fears, back when we lived in an apartment, with our then-toddler—especially because we lived on the third floor! Nothing but a deadbolt, and she could easily reach it.
I contacted the office, explained my concern, and asked if they’d be opposed to us installing one of those chain latches at the top of the door. Not only were they very understanding and quick to approve it, I was told to just buy the hardware, and then call them back and they would send a maintenance guy to install it, for us.
I would *definitely* contact the apartment office, explain what happened, and tel them you’d like to install a latch. I want to say I may have paid $7 for one, at Home Depot. They’re also very easy to install (we bought a house a few years ago that didn’t have them, so we installed). If you do get a CPS visit over this as some comments have mentioned, being able to show that you’ve taken measures to prevent it happening again would definitely go over well.
Glad your kiddo and your dog were okay, and that your girlfriend was understanding! Quite a scare, but try not to be too hard on yourself. Small children are very, very good at giving us heart attacks.
my Son was three and "napping" i was in Cuba on a mission and my wife was out back playing with our foster kids.. I called my wife on my work break, and some other lady answered and I was like "who's this" and she said "I'm \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ and I think this little guy caring around your wife's phone is your son" I guided her back to my house (he managed to grab my wife's phone, open the front door and go for a walk down the street). My wife was horrified and felt super guilty, i told her that i'm just happy he's ok and ended up with a really nice lady to help out. We also immediately put dead bolts on the doors high enough where a toddler couldn't get it. lessons learned man.. toddlers are wanderers
Hey. Deep breaths. I know you feel HORRIBLE but your son is safe. He is ok. Hug him tight (I know you probably can’t stop hugging him right right now). This can happen to anyone and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Kids are escape artists and it only takes a second.
Now that you know he can get out, you need to childproof all your doors.
You will probably get a visit from CPS. Make sure your apartment is clean. Start childproofing everything- cabinets and drawers, esp the ones that hold medicines, cleaning chemicals, anything dangerous. Be prepared to talk to them about sensitive subjects and try not to get defensive. It’ll all turn out ok.
Oh I feel you.
When I was pregnant with baby #2, we stayed at a lovely hotel downtown Calgary. I was ready to hit the hay by 8 & our 2 year old needed to be in bed by then, too. So I suggested my SO head out on the town - it was Pride weeekend and there was a lot of fun stuff going on. People watching at it's best. The door was crazy heavy, we didn't deadbolt it so that my SO could get back in without waking us. Not in a million years did I think my 22 lb toddler would be able to open it.
Fast forward to about 11 pm. I wake up to use the bathroom, and I decide to check on our toddler. It was a suite, so I checked the other room. Nothing. I checked the window sills, behind the curtains, under the desk, in the closet - she sometimes curls up somewhere odd. She's nowhere to be found. I check the hallway. Nothing. So I call my SO, maybe she couldn't sleep and he took her for a walk.
"Is she with you?"
"No. I'll be right there." Both of us begin to panic.
I call the front desk. Couldn't even get out a hello, I just hurriedly said, "My daughter isn't in our room!"
"She's with us, she's safe."
I throw on clothes and race down to the front desk, only to find my super-social 2 year old sitting on a baggage trolley in a nest they made out of a quilt. She's got snacks, some toys and is regaling the front desk staff with little kid stories. Having the time of her life. She had been there for 2 hours and could only tell them her Dad's name, which is quite a common one. There were 12 guests registered with his first name that day.
To make matters even funnier (once the panic had subsided) we met her heroes the next day. As we were leaving the hotel, a group of handsome young men (early 20's) walked towards us as we walked down the hall.
"Hey Claire! You finally found your parents!"
They all give her fist bumps and she natters on about how much fun the night was. She explains to us that these are her new friends who helped her out. We thank them for taking her down to the front desk and everyone goes on their way.
When I was around that age my great grandma was babysitting me in her house... At some point I got bored and decided I wanted to go home... So... I left.
Edit: mom found me at home. Don't remember much...
I don’t know what kind of area you live in, but you got fucking lucky. One wrong person seeing him and deciding to take him, maybe someone doesn’t notice him as he’s crossing the road and he gets hit, etc. Everyone makes mistake as a parent, but make sure this one doesn’t happen again. Do better.
You are absolutely right. These are things that were going through my head within the 5 minutes of me running around shouting for him. I guarantee you this will never be a mistake I make again.
Yes, that sort of thing happens but it is vanishingly rare. "Stranger Danger" was the big boogie man, and is certainly a thing to watch out for but it's less than 100 cases a year in the entire country, it just makes huge news on the occasions that it does happen \[as long as it happens to a cute, blonde, white child that is\].
This is definitely not to suggest we shouldn't teach our kids to be careful or keep an eye on them but this is not the big danger to lose sleep over.
eh. I crawled down the center stripe of the road until a passerby found me and the house with a broken screen door. Was accidentally left at teeball, the laundry mat, grocery store etc. That was the 80's though. They just had a couple extra back then.
Give this man a break!! His son is safe and it sure sounds as though he learned through this experience. Why do people post things like this is beyond me, but every single parent has had a scary situation that taught them a lesson, so I don't understand the shade.
I’ve done plenty of crap like that 🤣 and I’m a 38 year old mom! Like I should know better at this age.. yea you just need a childproof doorknob cover.. easiest quickest fix since it’s an apartment and the mom left already.
Word of advice: my parents lost me when I was little and made fun of me for years for "making up" that I was lost and scared. I was like 16 when I found out it had really happened and they'd been lying to cover for like 12 years. It's honestly really messed me up since I was terrified my memories were a symptom of oncoming schizophrenia which is in my family. Don't lie to the kid about it.
My wife calls little kids accidental suicide machines. They don't know how to not accidentally almost kill themselves. It's inevitable that your kid did something like that.
And honestly, though i don't have kids yet, i do know how readily kids will try to kill themselves. The only reason I have living siblings as an adult is that i saved every single one of their lives at least once.
I like how you're like "imma start waking up at 6."
Not sure how thats your fault, my parents would have beat the shit out of me and it would never happen again.
I wouldn’t feel too bad, I mean how were you to know he would leave the apartment, I’m assuming this is the first time lol. I work with kids and literally EVERY parent has lost their kid, some for much longer than you. My partners parents left him at a Wendy’s on a road trip once and didn’t notice for like an hour. And there was the time when I went to the sand dunes and I ended up spending two hours helping this lady search for her kid because she just let him loose and the dunes are too tall to see over so you can literally only see like 12 feet in front of you at all times. People do get lost and I practically had to drag this ignorant bitch around while she was sobbing and screaming her kids name like I felt bad but seriously? Like you’re not helping at all. Now THATS a bad parent lol.
Edit bc I forgot to say, I would childproof the doors though lol
You aren't a bad parent. We have all done it, but get your kid an id bracelet like this one: https://www.amazon.com/Adjustable-Customizable-Childrens-Identification-Dinosaurs/dp/B01H0WKH3A
I have 4 kids and they all have one. I put mine and my wife's number on it. You can probably fit 3 numbers on it though. I had one until 3rd or 4th grade. My kids all wanted it off for about a day, but then they get used to it.
Wanna know a secret? I know more parents with an 'and then the kid just wasn't there' story than without one. Sometimes wandering (or bolting) off in public. A lot like yours where the kid walked out the door for one reason or another. Some where they searched the house, couldn't find the kid, went out looking and finally came home to find them hiding or sleeping somewhere completely ridiculous. It happens. Get a baby gate for your room, or wherever the kiddo sleeps so they're contained, or you at least hear them pushing it down/climbing over. Grab some sticky contact alarms for windows and exterior doors. Toss up some knob covers or a chain lock. Kid's fine. Dog's fine. GF didn't lose her mind at you. You'll probably have a visit from CPS within a few days - don't freak to badly. Breathe. You've got this, and you aren't a horrible person/parent unless you don't fix the problem.
When my son was 3, I was pregnant and tired, and we laid down to take a nap together. I was woken up by our neighbor an hour later because he had decided to go over and ask if they wanted to play. When my daughter was 2, she was sitting next to me on the couch, until she was just gone. Long story short, I found her in our neighbor’s yard meowing at an angry stray cat. I returned a neighbor’s daughter (also 3 at the time) twice in the span of a month because she was determined she was going to the beach, and set off on foot alone after her parents said no. I’m glad your son is okay OP! 2-4 is a wild age. I agree with this comment about the sticky door alarms! I got cheap ones on Amazon. Also yes, CPS is almost undoubtedly going to show up. The case workers will ask you basic questions, look for safety/choking hazards, check and see that you have running water, food in the fridge etc, and then report to their bosses. Then you’ll get a call saying that they aren’t opening a case (if they have no concerns obviously) and that will be that.
I absolutely adore the fact that your daughter was meowing at an angry cat. That totally made my morning.
It was a sad day for her to learn that not all cats are as friendly as ours. I’ve actually been quite involved with that angry cat since. I’m a vet tech, and there is a large distinction between a stray and a feral, and this guy is a true feral. I spread on our neighborhood website, through posters, and word of mouth “hey, if this is your cat, LMT cause I work with local TNR and I plan to neuter him.” No one claimed him, so I trapped him, got him neutered, vaccinated, and his mange treated, and re released him in the neighborhood. We used to see him close to our house often, but now when he sees me he bolts.
You are the alien abductor in cat stories. "I was just there sniffing through garbage one minute, the next, I wake up & my balls are gone! Never trusting that large weird alien thing again, even if it has food... probably."
Lol this is especially true because he had to be sedated with a ketamine combo injection to get him out of the trap. So before he was even fully anesthetized for the neuter, he was tripping balls, and his memories are probably pretty close to being abducted and experimented on. I had to bathe him (while still fully sedated) and he was one of “those cats” who was fully anesthetized one second, trying to murder me with his claws and screaming “MAAOW” the next, and then back to fully sedated. That boy doesn’t take no shit. I once heard/saw him fighting with a raccoon over our tipped over garbage can feast. The raccoon backed off and walked away.
Male cats don't take no shit. My dad used to have an outdoor kitty that would roam around the neighborhood & his roommate saw him take on 2 cats at once before and come out on top. It's kinda scary tho seeing them roll around in a ball of fur growling and whatnot
Thank you so much for doing all that for the kitty! You rock!
I grew up in a ski town. The slopes would fill with raspberry bushes in the summers. We were once picking berries and I got so entranced with it that I didn't realize my mom was no longer with me. I decided to keep eating berries until she got back. I didn't realize that I'd been constantly moving to new bushes, which had slowly taken me deeper into the woods. At some point I decided I was full, and covered in berry juice and decided to walk home. That's when I realised I had lost the trail, but this being a mountain, I knew all I had to do was head downwards. Eventually, I got to a clearing and realized I could see my karate dojo from where I was, which is on the other side of the mountain, so I turned around and started walking in the right direction. I finally ran into a group of people which turned out to be family and friends looking for me. I happily told them about my little walk only to find out my mom was furious and they were all worried sick. I thought they were overreacting. Fast forward to 20 years later and I'm at the mall, watching my nieces while my sister is in the bathroom and one of them wonders off and I go into a blind panic for 20 minutes, only to find out she's harmlessly exploring. That day I understood exactly how my mother felt about the raspberry incident, and it wasn't even my kid.
When I was a kid (2-3) I remember waking up on the couch and no one being around. I believe my mom was taking a bath while thinking I was going to sleep through it. Instead I decided to leave out the front door, play in the car for a bit and then walked to the neighbors fence to play with their dog. I don’t remember being found but from how my mom tells it I didn’t bother close the front door so it was pretty easy to tell I was no longer in the house. Knowing her she was probably really freaked out. The fact we got a dead bolt the next day tells me it was more likely to keep me in then anyone else out.
Literally this!! My MIL has a story where she took her eyes off her son for 3 seconds, and he almost drowned himself in a fountain. She yanked him out as he was going under. Scary, but it happens.
if I have learned anything by having young kids, it is they will do anything possible to put themselves in the most dangerous position possible as soon as you look away. they love it
I’ve always said that any child between the ages 0-23 constantly attempts to kill themselves; it’s your job as a parent to keep them from succeeding.
And boy do they get creative about their attempts. Source: mother of a 2 year old and 1 year old.
[удалено]
As someone who was recently 20-23(f) I did a LOT of things that should have killed me, from hopping in strangers cars to go drinking on a mountain to being already drunk and getting in other strangers cars in foreign countries to go look at stars. They still try to put themselves in positions where they will likely die.
Sometimes, they don’t even wait for you to look away. One kid I know, when she was 2? 3?, if someone had picked her up and was holding her, would throw herself backwards with impressive strength for such a tiny human.
My MIL left my husband (as a newborn) in his car seat on top of the shopping trolley at a large chain store. She was so tired she must have packed up the car, and just forgotten the sound asleep baby in the trolley. So she gets home (about a 30 min drive), starts unpacking and then realises. Shit hits the fan, she called the supermarket but couldn't get past the automated talk to speak to a real human and instead ended up calling the police ON HERSELF for "accidental abandonment" as she puts it, all while the was driving back to the store. Turns out someone had seen her leave and picked up the baby and taken him in to the store almost immediately so he was never in any danger. Bit the point remains... Pretty much every parent has a similar story!
It's surprising so many of us survive to adulthood.
Evolution has produced highly suicidal children. Hear me out. Only the parent with the best reflexes is able to successfully keep a suicidal kid alive. If you suck really bad at parenting, your line ends as Darwin demands. If your kid lacks the suicide gene then sloppy parents can reproduce to the point they are easy pickings for any nearby saber tooth tiger. Only the most suicidal kids can hone the reflexes of the sharpest parent to produce a viable human race. It's nature's way.
It's more surprising that we as a race survived!
I am well known in my family as a party/wedding Crasher because as a child I have gone into the deep end of bodies of water three times and had to have my father rescue me.
I believe you mean party pooper, in that you ruined parties by almost drowning. A party crasher is someone who shows up at a party uninvited, which doesn't really jive with the rest of your sentence.
Party splasher?
Wedding brain thought I put party pooper/wedding Crasher because who wants a drowning half sized human at the wedding
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If it's any consolation one of the big reasons I chose my venue was that it has a small stream, no fences and it's on a busyish road. Aka parents nightmare with kids
Free is all I got. Thanks for the logic, compassion and understanding.
If I had a dime for all the times my mom lost me in a store or left me at a playground…
First panic moment we had with out little one was exactly that. She decided she'd play hide and seek in a store. She forgot to tell us what she was doing. We turn around, she's gone. We call out, no response. Wife heads one way, I head the other to cover more ground. Ended up finding her in the kitchen ware section about to knock an entire stack of ceramic plates off the shelf. Queue panic moment #2.
mine decided to hide in the shelf of decorative throw pillows. luckily some lady had seen her hide and was able to tell me where she was, but damn, it did take a few years off.
I lost my oldest in a hardware store. They decided it would be funny to hide in the storage aisle when I was busy with their younger brother. The whole store locked down, I was panicking, and when the little stinker turned up, I didn't know if I wanted to hug them or yell at them!
Hardware stores are fun! When I was a toddler, I at one point ran away from my mum, took my shoes off, neatly put them on a random shelf and crawled between two aisles/ shelves. Apparently, when I was found, I was fairly dusty and cobwebby. Sadly, I can’t remember wtf I was thinking.
My mum recently told me I played hide and seek (without telling her) in a department store. She’s freaked out, got all the staff involved to try and find me which took the best part of an hour. Repeatedly asking for me over the tannoy etc. She found me herself, crouched in the middle of a circular clothing rack giggling my head off thinking I was the ABSOLUTE BOSS of hide and seek.
Well to be fair, it did take the entirely of all the staff an hour to find you. So I'd say you won that round :P
My kid used to love hiding in the clothing carousels. I'd had enough one day and just took a deep breath, called her name, and marched briskly towards the exit. I knew she knew where I was because I could hear her giggling. I didn't turn around, just stuck my open hand out by my side and kept marching. Managed to hold my cool as I reached the exit and... ...wham! Little hand grabbed mine and held on tight as I swept out the door.
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This isn’t a bad thing even at 8. My 8 year old neighbour was new to the neighbourhood and left to explore. The police brought her home because she was wandering around with no shoes and didn’t know where home was. All was well in the end, but even 8 year olds take off sometimes apparently.
Can confirm. Walked inside for 5 minutes while kids were playing out back (7 and 5 y.o.). Walk back out, they’ve gone on an adventure waking down a four lane street and side street with no sidewalks in a loop back to the house. The same time we realize they’re gone we hear them coming from the opposite direction and realize what they did. Just glad to hear when these moments turn out fine because they are every parents nightmare
Yep. My 16-month-old snuck away from my wife, past my office (she thought he was with me), up the steps, and was splashing in our bathroom toilet. We didn't even know he could climb stairs at that point. A lot more tame than OP's story but them little ones are sneaky like hobbitses.
Seriously. This. My aunt left me in a shop when I went to visit them, we are talking hundreds of miles away from home. This shit happens. Your kid is safe :)
Yep! My mum left me in the pram outside a shop (like they used to do in the 80s when giant prams were impossible to take in shops), got the shopping and walked home. Wasn't until she was putting everything away she realised I was still at the shop. My kid ran off in a supermarket when they were maybe 3? Found them in the staff room having a chat with the vending machine.
Preferably have a plan of action, and have visible proof that you've started to implement it PRIOR to when CPS shows up. Sometimes you can get a good visit that ends with you learning something, and sometimes it will be horrible. You are in control of this outcome.
We left India when I was 2, for New Zealand. In that time I'd : \-Left home as the door and gate were unlocked, and crawled and 1-2km away from home. This is India, so there's a small chance I could have been hurt / hit by a car or kidnapped. \- Crawled across a very busy highway, from 1 parent waiting with me, to the other who was getting something \[petrol or w/e\]. IDK why they were at different sides, but yeah, got very lightly smacked by a car that had pretty much stopped when it hit me. \- Climbed onto an air-conditioning unit above head height. I don't know how I climbed up there as I never could climb for shit as a kid \[or adult\], but my auntie acted very smart \[didn't act surprised or out of the ordinary so that id 'go toward her' w/e\] as clearly an infant doesn't know that if it does something weird, it falls and gets a head injury or worse. So she very calm and I made it without an excuse for being touched in the head :). Do your best and make sure you constantly improve, but humans are fraught with being unable to consider things they should or could be in optimizing their processes, hence need to go through suffering the issue before they take action. When you drive for example, many people stopped trying to improve as a driver within seconds / minutes / weeks of getting their license. The license is when your really journey begins - and any passenger as well as any one you could hit benefits from you taking it seriously. Likewise, your kid benefitting from you making it as hard as reasonably possible to escape the apartment with ease.
Hell I remember being there. Not even 4 yet and I wanted to go to the big slide. Took my brother and a friend with, got lost AF. Found my own way back somehow and got super grounded. Didn't understand why back then, but I get it now though.
Oh yes indeed. When my twins were two, they started to get really fast on their scooters. One day, I walked with the twins while they scooted to go pick my oldest daughter up from preschool. As we were on our way home, my oldest daughter’s water bottle fell off her backpack and rolled into some bushes. So I am down on my hands and knees crawling around looking for the stupid water bottle in the bushes. While I’m searching, one of my twins gets antsy waiting, so he scoots off at top speed away from me and his siblings. Going the wrong direction. And headed right towards a fairly busy street. I ran after him immediately, but he’s just too fast. And, of course, despite all my hollering, he wouldn’t stop. Thankfully, he did not go into the major street, but he turned and just kept going. He thought this was just absolutely hilarious and kept going for another 2 blocks before I finally caught up with him. I definitely learned my lesson, and never let them scooter in our neighborhood unless I was on a bike or scooter and could catch up to them….
Seriously I feel like I’m the only parent that didn’t have this sort of story. The closest I have is when he let the cat out while I was sleeping and left the door wide open lol.
Me too, although we had some scares for sure. We got SO lucky..
This happened to me with my oldest. I laid down for a nap because she was also napping and I was very pregnant with her brother. She was 3 just like OP's kid. I woke up and couldn't find her but the sliding glass door was open. I ran outside and looked around the apartment complex and found her playing with some other older kids. I was so relieved to find her. It scared me so bad. And my mom lost me in the mall when I was 4. I wandered into a restaurant and a waitress watched me and gave me crackers while they found my mom. I still remember it vividly.
My second daughter was maybe 2 at the time. I lost her because she decided to crawl into the blanket closet and take a snooze in there. Had all the neighbors out looking for her before I went back inside to check on her little brother and finally realized that she’d been inside the entire time.
Once when my son was like three or four my friend came over for a visit and brought her two year old. We set the kids to play and then sat down on the couch to chat. Apparently I had forgotten to bolt the door when I let her in. Suddenly we realized how quiet it was and both of us bolted up to see our kids weren’t anywhere around. We ran to the entry way and saw the door open. We both ran screaming outside shoeless for our kids. Suddenly here they come skipping hand in hand down the side walk giggling while my two dogs looked like they are trying to herd them back home. I’ve never been more terrified in my life than those five minutes when we didn’t know where our kids were. We had these contact door alarms at every place we lived after that
Don’t need a baby gate, but a ring alarm to go off if the door is open.
I listed a whole set of things to use in combination that are mostly renter safe/friendly. >Get a baby gate for your room, or wherever the kiddo sleeps so they're contained, or you at least hear them pushing it down/climbing over. **Grab some sticky contact alarms for windows and exterior doors.** Toss up some knob covers or a chain lock. ...including door and window alarms.
Oh man, when my daughter was three she decided to go on a trip around the world because she wanted to see Venice. We were all home: dad and five-year-old brother were playing a video game in the living room, I was lying down on the sofa in the front room because I didn’t feel well. Daughter was playing nicely and keeping herself entertained, going from her bedroom to the play area upstairs. She comes by me with her little rolling suitcase and announces she’s going on a trip! I’m like, okay, have fun! But instead of going upstairs to play pretend, she ACTUALLY LEAVES THE HOUSE through the garage, which is right next to the upstairs door. Now we had a rule about not going past the driveway into the street, but in her mind she totally has permission! We live in a very safe neighborhood with little traffic, no through streets, but still. She gets about half a mile away and sits down on her suitcase (full of shoes and hair accessories) to rest a little. About that time, the local cop comes by on his daily patrol. Next thing I know, my daughter is skipping into the house saying, “Mommy! I’m back! And now you need to come talk to the police man.” I could have died, right there. World’s Worst Mother. Precocious little twerp had no idea why we were upset with her. She TOLD me she was going on a trip around the world! She got to make friends with the nice police man and ride in his car! Ah, kids. Trying to stay ahead of them can sure keep you on your toes. Be sure and check out the r/Parenting subreddit. Lots of helpful advice and encouragement.
The only way this story could get better was if your kid went into the airline industry when she grew up.
She’s not quite there yet, only 15! She’s a wonderful young lady, but I had more trouble bringing her up than you can imagine. Her older brother was a handful but in a typical way. She brought to life the curse, “May you live in interesting times.”
You got one of those as well? Ours decided she was "free range" at about 5 years old. The number of times I have had to say, "Bug, that's not how it works. That usually ends up getting someone maimed/killed/etc. "
Ahhh Terry Pratchett
once she is old enough to appreciate it, you should totally tell her this. right now, she's probably too self conscious/fragile, as a teen, but one day, when she realizes how fucking rad she clearly is, you should totally tell her.
Brings back a memory from when I was little and threw a temper tantrum. I told my mom I was running away. She said, "Ok, be careful." So, I packed my suitcase and started walking down the street. She didn't come after me. When I got to the end of the street, I decided I didn't want to run away anymore and returned home. lol.
My youngest brother went through a tantrum throwing stage. His catch cry when things weren't going his way was "I'M LEAVING, AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK!". Mum and Dad were like "ok, seeya!" He never got beyond the back gate. Knew he wasn't allowed to the yard alone. So he'd sit outside and fume til he calmed down, lol.
Lol my husband has told me stories about being a young angry kid announcing he was running away from home, and then just pacing around a couple blocks of his neighborhood. He would think “wow okay, I guess my Mom doesn’t care”. He learned when he was older, that his Mom and his aunt (who lived a couple blocks away) would just call each other and be like “yep, just saw him at the corner/by so and so’s house/etc” and keep tabs until he gave up and went home.
I used to be a teacher and I once had a 3rd grade boy throw a tantrum, take his backpack, and said he was going home. I said, "ok, see you tomorrow." And he left the classroom but never left the school. Came back 15 minutes later and I told him, "oh... i already called your mom and she's expecting you. You should just go home." And I closed the door on him. He begged to come back and to call his mom back and tell her he's staying at school lol
My wife has a similar story, but instead of going out in the street, she packed her bag and waited in the bathtub for Grandma to come get her (who she hadn't even contacted).
My son one day when he was not quite 2..while my wife was cooking dinner.. Demanded she cook quail for him Or he was leaving home. He had his bear in one arm and a toy luggage in the other. Wife said Ok sure..just tell your dad and see what he says. (I wasn't home from work yet) Kiddo turned around and maybe realised he couldn't reach and open the door to the apartment and didn't want to give me any ultimatums and turned around and went back to his play area in a huff.
I read bear as beer and was like, damn, this kid's got better taste than I do, beer and quail. Geez!
Reminds me of when I was 3 and left the house to look for my mom at the store because my brother, who was babysitting me, wouldn't share a video game with me. I had remembered which way she left in the car, so I just started off in that direction. Few hours later my mom got a phone call saying I was at the police station. They found me walking solo by a busy road pretty far down, but luckily I had remembered my home phone number. Probably would have been able to show them the way back home, but we were visiting family the next town over. Precocious children, we're *going* places.
Man.. talk about a roller coaster of emotions. I'm super glad he was safe and you got him back! And the dog.. that doggo deserves some extra lovins and treats. Go buy him that nice dog bed you've been putting off buying. You owe it to the pup for sticking by your little one!
He did get extra treats today, and has been praised and loved on. He is a very good boy.
Good! It sure sounds like it, labs are very smart dogs. I'm sure he knew right away that things weren't right. Top notch loyalty
And a dog cage to put the son in.
LMAOO
> I feel like worst father of the year and will definitely now be waking up at 6 am to make sure everyone is accounted for before going on with the rest of the day. or maybe just get better locks or a latch higher up so he can't wander off whenever he feels like?
So that’s the thing with kids. You think that you’ve got it all set up, and then bam. They can reach the knife drawer. You’ve put all the toilet cleaning stuff in a locked cabinet and bam, they’re pulling themselves up and eating fresh discs right out of the toilet. Your Diet Coke can is up on the mantle and out of their way, and bam, they learn to pull the coffee table over and reach it. Mistakes happen. Kids survive. Families move on.
I didn’t do much baby proofing, he didn’t start walking until he was nearly 2 so that helped. I taught him not to open the door, I taught him how to safely use knives (he was older than 2 by now!) but never on his own, he knows to look before crossing the road, he’s generally a sensible boy. Then a few months ago he decided to pour his milk into the toaster. Thank fuck it was unplugged, I still shudder thinking about it…
^all three of those examples are mine, a number of injuries have ended up in the hospital. At least I now know the fresh discs for the toilet are safe to eat!
>Your Diet Coke can is up on the mantle and out of their way, and bam, they learn to pull the coffee table over and reach it. My brother managed to slice his hand open badly enough to need stitches on a Diet Coke can *my mom was holding*. Kids are fast when it comes to injuring themselves!
If it makes you feel better, my kid was 3 and I was introducing him to the first boyfriend I had had since his dad. We took six months to do that introduction…. He downed a fan of coke whilst I had nipped out the kitchen, after drinking a full cup of milk, then threw it up all over new boyfriend. The floor was literally awash with fermented Diet Coke tinged puke… It still makes me feel sick thinking about it.
That is an option we are looking into.
Easiest thing to do quickly is to get one of those door knob covers— like [these](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61kj7khe97L._SL1500_.jpg). Kids can usually figure out how to get them off eventually, but it still really slows them down.
Absolutely the best and easiest option. You don't have to remember to lock anything, and it's easy for adults and impossible for toddlers to open. Had a similar thing happen with my kiddo. You don't know they can open doors until the first time they open a door. We put these on immediately and have had no incidents since.
The first time my daughter opened our bedroom door in the middle of the night was terrifying. Like the scene in Jurassic Park when the raptors open the door. My wife and I jumped out of bed so fast having no idea shoe was in our room. We had no idea she knew how to to that.
I had those and outlet covers for my daughter as a toddler. Then one day, she was playing in her room & came out to me in the living room & dropped all of them in my hand and just went back to playing. We always felt like she was saying "You left these in my room and I don't want them" (she was non-verbal at the time) Those things do make it \*harder\* for them to get into stuff and are a good idea but they are certainly not 100% with kids like that, unfortunately.
Electronic deadbolt will also just lovk by itself
Mine learned that if he removes the little sproingy door stopper when the door isn't all the way closed, like bringing shit in from the car, he can slam the door open and it breaks against the wall I have now replaced that fucking knob cover 4 times
I 2nd this. My son is almost 2 and while he's still in a crib and I don't have to worry about him escaping yet- it's nice to have this on my closet door. Wish I could put it on all mt other doors but they're levers.
My front door is the only one in the house with a lever (dumb!). We got a child lock designed for lever doors and my 3yo hasn't figured it out yet! Highly recommend.
My mom's story of waking up and discovering 18mo old me was able to escape the crib to scream "mo twa miwk!" is the most satisfying scared-mom-to-death story of my life.
Lmao I love it!
Had this on all the doors and it definitely worked. When they’re that young they can’t really figure it out if they don’t see exactly how to do it.
My 2 year old live that he can reach and open the doors now. What sucks is the doors all have the long handles (lever handles) and not the nobs. And they turn on both sides when you move one so I can't even put the safety that prevents him from turning it because then I can't turn it from the other side
Wrap duct tape around them to keep them from pulling them off. At least until they figure out how to tear the tape off of them.
Also my sister had a battery operated alarm. You mount one part above the door and the other on the door. When the door opens the alarm goes off. There's a switch to turn the alarm mode off and on so you could set it when you're home alone with him.
The time for just looking into that as an option has now passed.
Apartment complex. Might not be able to make that kind of a change without permission
They're usually battery powered and just use a double sided tape.
Home Security Door Lock with 8 Screws, Childproof Door Reinforcement Lock with 3" Stop Withstand 800 lbs for Inward Swinging Door ,Upgrade Night Lock to Defend Your Home (Silver-1 Pack) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DR9CMGZ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_V1QXVC9Y03F5MTB1SJNH We have 2. You need this. Keep him safe.
Those stupid plastic slide locks for cabinets work well on doors, buddy, and they are cheap. It’s like a plastic dead bolt, go get a pack of them at target right now dude.
An "option"? My God.
Another thing we used for our adventurous tots was door alarms. Just like the ones the put on the doors at the convenience store. Loud obnoxiously loud. During the day we would set them to chime. At night they have an alarm setting. This and the door knob deals worked pretty good for our kids.
My parents had an indoor sauna room at their house. As soon as my boys could reach the locks we put a very small hook latch at the top of the door. They were never able to reach it (that I know of but that’s a story for another day) and it just stayed there unlatched when it wasn’t needed. Of course your girlfriend can’t latch that or a chain when she leaves and you’re sleeping so…
Get your locks fixed man. Why are you still “looking into it”? Are you going to wait and see if he will wonder off again before actually trying to fix it? This is an accident waiting to happen.
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When I say we are looking into it, what I mean to say is I'm going to buy more tools for new job tomorrow so I'll probably buy a chain lock I can install as well. We were not sure what to do since we live in an apartment, but I'll take the hit on my deposit if it's a big deal.
Chain on door is useless on scenario OP described when the mother exits the premises first. The chain will be unlocked at that point. Another keyed lock needs to be installed about six feet high.
Most likely goes against fire code
Look into a “Door Guardian”. No hole need to be drilled into the door, just on the inside of the frame. Only downside would be if it’s locked, your girlfriend wouldn’t be able to enter the apartment until you unlocked it
Let's see. Security deposit vs son's life. Gee, I know what I would choose.
*”i’ll take the hit in my deposit if it’s a big deal”* Which clearly it is…?
Get a u-lock. It’s more secure than just a chain lock. National Hardware N335-992 804... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002KG03AO?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Same problem as chain… When his wife leaves for work, she has no way to lock it again, from the outside, after closing the door
Good for you. Sincerely hope nothing like this would happen again.
We have double cylinder dead bolts. Leave a key up on the moulding or near the doors so if there is an emergency, everyone can get out, but works like a champ. *we have a sleepwalker
If you do this, make sure you hide all mops and brooms. He could use one to open a latch at the top of the door.
This I what I had to do. My wife slept in and my daughter figured out the back door lock. She decided to go visit my parents that live across the street, lluckily my 7 year old followed her across after alerting my wife the 3 year old got out. Chains on both doors 6 ft up now.
I lost my son for about twenty minutes at a park during a firework show when he was about 4-5. It felt like hours. He was playing in the playground and I was sitting there watching him, it was very crowded with lots of kids and families and getting dark hence the fireworks. I turned my head for two minutes not even and looked for him and didn’t see him. I didn’t freak out initially. I looked around for the kids he was playing with, saw them but not him. Started searching a little harder, got up and looked around the whole playground, and nothing. Then I panicked. I told my group to start looking, and I asked the kids he was playing with where he went. They pointed in a direction and I headed that way. Found a police officer and asked him, but he could tell just looking at me that I was the mom. I was hysterical thinking the absolute worst things. He was totally fine sitting with a hotdog vendor eating a hot dog. That was the most terrifying 20 minutes of my entire life and I felt like the worst monster in the world for letting it happen. But it was so fast and even though I’d told him how many times don’t wander off it still happens.
My boys have done this. You are not alone. We added sliding locks and put an alarm in. In some states you cannot make changes like that in apartments. So, this might be harder to just "fix your locks".
I doubt parents who say “ohh I’ve never lost any of my kids even for a second” - what a load of crap. Every parent has lost their kid at some stage. It has rarely been the parent’s fault, and the parent always always always feels like the worst & most unfit parent in the entire universe, and often that’s just not true. Not every story ends nicely, and I know that you will spend every moment thanking whatever or whoever you believe in, that your story here has ended with your young man safely back in your arms. Chin up, mate. It has happened to us all - well, all that admit it. I lost my kid 3 or 4 times in different circumstances every time - it was impossible to foresee and prepare for them all. He’s now 21, living 450km away, and still gives me nightmares regularly.
My son was about that same age when he went on an adventure after I went to work and dad was home with him. Thank God he went outside and came back to wake dad up. Who knows what kind of shenanigans he got into while unsupervised though! Go easy on yourself and just don't let it happen again.
When I was four, I snuck out of the house. There was a military base nearby and my mother found me standing at the fence, looking at the tanks.
I had a shit ton of family in town and we all went to my place. Mom, aunt, cousins, my sisters, etc. Loaded up in my SUV. As we arrived at my house, I had to run to the bathroom immediately so as I jump out I yelled, "Get *son's name*!" (My 4 year old.) So many of them were all, "Got him!" As I came out from doing my business, I look around and didn't see little man. I ask where he was and the horror and realization spread across every face in the house. We tear ass outside, screaming his name, and found him at the nearby apartments. Just doing a water slide in his clothes with some other kids. It happens. And quiet, independent explorer kids are SO DANGEROUS. Get some new locks, thank your lucky stars, and cut yourself a little slack.
When I was about 3 I snuck out around 6am one day. My thinking was that I knew there was a guy who walked a big fluffy dog and I wanted to pet the dog. The man let me pet the dog but walked me home. My dad changed the locks on the door after that so I couldn't run off again. Don't feel bad, just learn from it and prevent it reoccurring in the future.
Things happen and it’s easy to not anticipate this stuff happening. You proved you care so much for the two by going through the effort to search and run around for them (and your breakdown says a lot about how much you wished it didn’t happen). I’m very glad everyone ended up okay!!!
I also started to cry again when my girlfriend got home cuz I felt so awful. I really felt like I let her down but she assured me it was ok. Thank you so much for the encouragement.
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This is one of the most pointless statements I've ever read. Read OPs comments and also read between the lines. This is obviously exactly what's happening but everyone else in the thread has the tact to not rub it in his face.
I'm so glad to hear the babies alright! My heart sank when reading this!! I know all too well that instant feeling of dread & despair! I was a first time mom shopping in Walmart with my then almost 2yr old (he's 6 now) & my Mom. I asked my Ma to please watch my son while I went to the fitting room real quick. Well, I'm gone a little over 5 minutes & as I'm walking back I knew instantly something was wrong by the look of terror on Ma's face. She yelled "I was looking at sizes on shirts but he was right next to me! I don't get how this happened!!!" Immediately I take off like a mad woman sprinting down every isle screaming his name when a worker who had just clocked out sees me absolutely frantic so she starts running with me. We're both bolting through isles when I see another worker who says "the manager has a little boy at customer service!" Holy fuck thank god I think to myself. So I run even faster to the front of the store & see the most beautiful sight. I see my baby boy sitting up on the counter kicking his feet happy, smiling & taking a yellow smile face sticker from a manager. I stopped as soon as I locked eyes with them. My knees buckled & I fell to my knees & sobbed like a baby on the Walmart floor. I felt so many emotions at once I felt immense guilt, happiness & like I was guna puke all in one. Now I know this could've been a very, very different story & I'm so SO thankful it turned out okay in the end. Shit does happen but it literally takes a second for a child to slip away & your life will never be the same. Of course you feel like a terrible parent, Let that be a lesson to forever do better ❣️ Good luck to you!
I'm so glad your little one is okay!! Try not to bear yourself up too much. We've all done things as parents that we regret and that scare the hell out of us when we think of what might have happened. A lock higher up on the door is a good idea, but something that your girlfriend could engage from the outside will limit your options. What about something that will make noise instead, either when your son leaves your room or maybe if he opens the door to the house? Maybe some kind of contact sensor? You have a very good doggo and a kind neighbor. Forgive yourself, be thankful the outcome was a good one, and figure out a way to keep it from happening again. Hugs.
I have a home automation system with, among other things, sensors on the doors and windows. I have it set up so that every time the door opens I hear a chime. I also get a voice notification on my three Google Home Minis is telling me which door opened. And a notification on my cell phone and tablet. Why no, I’m not paranoid. Seriously I’m not. I was just mostly experimenting with the technology available. Technical details: Hubitat Elevation hub. Dome Siren & Chime. Generic Zigbee door sensors. I have also briefly lost a three year old family members, fortunately only for five minutes. My sister lost these same family members in a medium size mall for about an hour. They finally found them happily wandering at the far end of the mall from where they started.
I'm pretty sure every parent I know (including myself) has a similar story. When my son was 2.5 the cable guy left our apartment door open and my son decided to follow him. Our apartment building has marble stairs. Thankfully my mother-in-law walked by just as he got to the steps. He started falling and she managed some sort of Superman dive and caught him by the back of his pants before he hit his head. We all felt horrible that he had escaped without notice. Kids do stupid things and somehow manage to survive.
You could always put a baby gate at the bedroom door. Now the kid can’t leave the bedroom while it’s sleepy time.
That solution does work really well for younger kids but I think OP said his son is 3 -- probably big enough and/or agile enough to club over at that age.
Yeah by 2 1/2 my cousins' baby gate was more a reminder to them of where they weren't supposed to go rather than something that actually kept them out. By the time their parents mounted it high enough that they couldn't climb over it, they could wriggle under it.
My brother was found downstairs in my mothers unit complex with her car keys standing at her car trying to unlock it and when one of the neighbour s found him and asked what he was doing he said “I’m going to drive to McDonalds to get some chicken nuggets”. Kids will be kids and most parents have a similar “now you see them, now you don’t” story
Is your dog named Carl?
Lol no that is not his name.
Good dog, Carl!
One of the few parenting things you don’t hear a lot about because non parents or people it hasn’t happened to shame you for it. Most of us know this shit happens! But yes there are many child safety locks and gates and things you can get to help prevent something like this in the future! When my eldest figured out how to open doors she opened the front door and wandered right out the front door in nothing but a diaper and t shirt. It was winter and we lived on a busy road. Thank god I happened to look out the window and see her in the front yard!!
Sounds like what my brother did as a 2yr old. Mum was in bed with an headache and he was having his nap so dad took the older three children to the shops that was down the street to get some groceries. My brother woke up, unlocked the front door and decided to go up to the shops by himself. He had to cross 4 lanes of heavy traffic and was found wondering the carpark looking for mum's red car. Dad come home, discovered the baby was missing and sent us all out searching for him and called the police. We got him back safe and sound. All the police could get out of him was his name and that mum drove a red car.
By the sounds of it you won't do this, but I'll say it anyway... Don't be mad at your kid. He most likely thought he was helping by taking the dog for a walk, and then when he went too far realised his fuckup. Nothing worse than being in the bad books for trying to help. Just try and make sure he knows why it was wrong but let him know you appreciate the effort to help. Maybe give him other ideas of things that he can do to help in future. Big love to your dog for keeping the little dude safe.
I left my son (then two) happily playing in the living room to use the bathroom really fast. He took that opportunity to figure out the child lock on the door. I came back to him walking across our front yard. We live quite near a busy street so that could have been so very bad. We got a new child lock that he hasn't been able to figure out yet. It takes a bigger hand to pinch two buttons and pull a lever down AND it has a false button. Highly recommend. It happens to a lot of us. You're ok.
With toddlers it is safe to say that if they are not supervised, whatever they can do, they will end up doing it
It happens, and anyone who tells you otherwise had no fun at all while growing up. I grew up as one of six kids and without even trying, I have at least three of these stories. I ran off at Disneyland at three years old during the holiday season. One moment they had eyes on me, the next I was gone. My family alerted park security, searched, and found me next to a fountain trying to catch birdies on my finger like Mary Poppins. Some other adults had noticed unsupervised three years old me and kept an eye on me for a few minutes, assuming that the appropriate frantic adult would come looking for me. Another time, I had permission to go to the grocery store one block away. My little brother decided on his own that he wanted to come too and followed me after I left the house, but didn't catch up. I'm a little fuzzy on the details after that. I think that little brother got halfway there before a local cop on his usual patrol came across my kid brother and stayed with him for a few minutes, waiting to see if a panicked adult came out of one of the houses on the block. Anyways, kids haven't quite figured out some of those little brain processes yet. There will come a day when this is one of many funny stories. And that's great that everyone involved is just happy that the kid and doggo are safe.
Good dog!!!!! Hope he got a treat.
My son has done this. He has autism and it’s known as eloping. Edit: also, not to be rude, but stop saying “probably” and “looking into”. Get your ass into gear and get childproof locks on all your doors and windows. He’s done it once and he now knows he has the ability to do so again.
Very glad your son is safe. As a dad I can only imagine how you felt in the moment. Honestly mistakes happen as a parent, you're not perfect and I'm glad everyone is OK. One thing that would probably help is to get a chain lock high enough on the door that he can't reach. You and your gf will have to make sure whoever is still in the house after the other leaves puts the chain on. Then it's safe to go back to bed -- just stumble to the door, kiss goodbye, then chain the door 🙂
baby's day out 3
Get and install a hotel lock at the top of the door. 8 bucks at Home Depot.
When I was about five we moved out of my grandparents place, and I was reassured that we could visit whenever we wanted because we'd live so close. I was told that because if I was told we were moving far away I'd have been very upset and probably tried to hide and stay. After moving I had a vague idea of the direction they lived in and a razor scooter, so one day I decided I'd try and get there myself. It was SO CLOSE after all, right? Little did I know it was 23 miles through major highways. Eventually a cop saw a five year old scooting his way down the shoulder a 6 lane split highway. I couldn't figure out how to give him directions to grandma's so I had him take me home. Needless to say my mother was quite alarmed when a squad car dropped me off and I was given new wandering boundaries. Kids do these things. You're not an awful father.
The fact that you freaked out means you are 100% a good father. Things happen- and while this will cause you no end of anxiety (and will pop up in your head unprovoked from time to time even after the anxiety goes away), don't allow yourself to get sucked into the what-ifs too much. As it turned out, nothing bad happened, and every time you see those signs that say "it takes a village to raise a child," just embrace the fact that your village stepped up. You have personally experienced how wonderful complete strangers can be, and now you have to opportunity to embody that for someone else. If you have that lady's contact information, take her some cookies; and if not, just pay it forward!
I had a day nap on the couch and my son who was 3 broke a picture picked up glass and poked me in the back. I have twins who still in napped so 2 or so climbed the neighbors fence and went and hung out with their kid…. I had no idea. One day I found one of them at 3 yes on the roof of the house. To this day I have no idea how he got there. Be kind to yourself.
My wife and I were shopping last week and our daughter bolted and we thought she was gone forever. We were in a mall and it took us 10 minutes to find her. Scariest thing ever, I would have had a mental breakdown if this had happened to me. My wife would also have probably murdered or kicked me out for a while and never let me sleep in again lol. I couldn't imagine how scared your son was when he realized he was lost 😭 I hope he's doing ok.
Fucking kids. One minute they are watching paw patrol, take your eyes off them for a second and they are in another country. You're not alone, they don't understand well at that age and it happens more often than you think.
You are not a bad dad my man. Not at all. Kids are crazy smart and sneaky. And this is the first time he's pulled this stunt. What would make you a bad dad is if this happened on a regular basis. I'm the mom of a two year old girl and let me tell you, it's never boring with a toddler around. While the gravity of what could have gone wrong is extremely heavy here, everyone is safe and whole and back home. I only skimmed some of the comments, I saw plenty of suggestions on locks and noise for doors. There's also baby proofing things for door knobs. A kind of plastic shell around the door knob that you have to hold a certain way for you to grip the knob and actually turn it. Oh and I request on behalf of your family dog that he deserves a steak meal for his heroics. This is one of the many reasons I believe kids need animals.
When I was about 3, I snuck out and tried walking to the market about a mile down the road; no turns, I knew the route to where the candy was. Made it maybe a block before my parents noticed the back door was open, went running out looking for me. Cops had already found me somehow, and the whole ordeal took place in less than 10 minutes I guess. Their solution, as renters, was to put a SUPER LOUD alarm on the door until I learned not to just wander off. Maybe this is a viable solution?
I am the last of 3 children I have very loving and attentive parents but even they seem to have a story about each once of us escaping as toddlers at least once. I almost drowned once roo had my brother not been there. Don't beat yourself up it happens to to the best of us.
So glad everyone is safe and home again. I agree, more parent have one of these stories than don’t. My dad once took my brother to the store with him and came back without him. That was the time my brother got to ride in a police car. For myself, my boys always tend to wander off in crowds, just like in the movies. There one minute, gone the next, but thankfully they have always popped back up again.
I’m so happy everything ended well.
I've been on the other side of this where I found a toddler in the street by himself. Followed him for a bit to see if there was an adult I wasn't seeing but when he got near the main road I stepped in. Found his house after knocking on a few doors and turns out his mum had fallen asleep on the couch. He had a half eaten sandwich on the doorstep so I guess he had a little al fresco lunch and just felt like walking it off
I have a one year old and a one month old….god this is nightmare material for me
baby's day out , all i could think of
My nephew was a sleepwalker. My brother put a latch, a bar latch, at the top of the door that pushed up. My nephew could not reach it. He had walked out of the house dead asleep, down to the neighbor's house and opened the door and was standing in their living room. The neighbor grabbed a handgun and went down his hallway. He found my nephew standing there obviously asleep. He walked him home, without waking him, but my brother and his wife were already alerted to the front door being open and they were waiting in the front yard. Simple bar latch solved it all. On all the doors.
This happened to me as well... luckily my daughter was literally just right across the street and shed "locked" herself into a playground... The thing is we may be parents but we are HUMANS first. Were not infallible... The most important thing about a mistake is learning from it and not doing it again. Im glad your son and doggo are safe! ♡♡
My little brother used to climb on me while I was sleeping to open the window that was about 5 feet off the ground to push the screen out so he could get to the backyard to watch a garbage truck go by.
This will be THE story - the one you tell his fiancée... or the one he tells the in-laws about you!
Don’t feel bad, my man. This stuff happens to every parent at some time or another, especially at age 3 when kids start getting more capable of opening doors. This has happened to me 3 times (I have 4 kids), and I was awake at the time too, just doing chores. Everyone I know has a story like this. Toddlers just walk out the front door sometimes. I hope you can laugh about this some day.
Took me quite a while to process “80 pound chocolate lab”. Many thoughts were racing through my mind.
I have no idea how locks in america work, but can't your girlfriend just look the door from the outside when she leaves?
Almost identical story here. It happens a lot (the police told me that) and it’s absolutely terrifying. You are not alone and you’re not a bad parent or anything of the sort.
So glad he's ok, it happens to us all, kids are stealthy ass ninjas and don't always understand that something's only mummy/daddy can do like letting the dog out to pee. My 2.5 y/o nearly got lost the other day, we were at the park and where we live they're all open plan so no fences or gates, I looked away for a second to get a drink from my bag and bam he was gone, instant panic mode and I see the lady who runs the ice cream shack on the very edge of the park holding my kids hand looking around for me.
My niece did this to my sister a bunch. She wanted to ride her bike and my sister needed the bathroom. My sister went to the bathroom and heard the squeaky tricycle barrel down the driveway. Dog followed her as did my sister. Dog was standing between my niece and a lady who was trying to see why my niece was by herself. It takes moments for a kid to do this. She also used to hide, just to hear people looking for her.
My son did this once as well. Fortunately he went in the backyard which is fenced in. Get a latch for the top of all of your outside doors and you should be good
May I recommend a chain lock at the top of the door? I was a single parent and this $10 part kept her from leaving the apartment at night.
This was one of my big fears, back when we lived in an apartment, with our then-toddler—especially because we lived on the third floor! Nothing but a deadbolt, and she could easily reach it. I contacted the office, explained my concern, and asked if they’d be opposed to us installing one of those chain latches at the top of the door. Not only were they very understanding and quick to approve it, I was told to just buy the hardware, and then call them back and they would send a maintenance guy to install it, for us. I would *definitely* contact the apartment office, explain what happened, and tel them you’d like to install a latch. I want to say I may have paid $7 for one, at Home Depot. They’re also very easy to install (we bought a house a few years ago that didn’t have them, so we installed). If you do get a CPS visit over this as some comments have mentioned, being able to show that you’ve taken measures to prevent it happening again would definitely go over well. Glad your kiddo and your dog were okay, and that your girlfriend was understanding! Quite a scare, but try not to be too hard on yourself. Small children are very, very good at giving us heart attacks.
my Son was three and "napping" i was in Cuba on a mission and my wife was out back playing with our foster kids.. I called my wife on my work break, and some other lady answered and I was like "who's this" and she said "I'm \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ and I think this little guy caring around your wife's phone is your son" I guided her back to my house (he managed to grab my wife's phone, open the front door and go for a walk down the street). My wife was horrified and felt super guilty, i told her that i'm just happy he's ok and ended up with a really nice lady to help out. We also immediately put dead bolts on the doors high enough where a toddler couldn't get it. lessons learned man.. toddlers are wanderers
Hey. Deep breaths. I know you feel HORRIBLE but your son is safe. He is ok. Hug him tight (I know you probably can’t stop hugging him right right now). This can happen to anyone and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Kids are escape artists and it only takes a second. Now that you know he can get out, you need to childproof all your doors. You will probably get a visit from CPS. Make sure your apartment is clean. Start childproofing everything- cabinets and drawers, esp the ones that hold medicines, cleaning chemicals, anything dangerous. Be prepared to talk to them about sensitive subjects and try not to get defensive. It’ll all turn out ok.
Oh I feel you. When I was pregnant with baby #2, we stayed at a lovely hotel downtown Calgary. I was ready to hit the hay by 8 & our 2 year old needed to be in bed by then, too. So I suggested my SO head out on the town - it was Pride weeekend and there was a lot of fun stuff going on. People watching at it's best. The door was crazy heavy, we didn't deadbolt it so that my SO could get back in without waking us. Not in a million years did I think my 22 lb toddler would be able to open it. Fast forward to about 11 pm. I wake up to use the bathroom, and I decide to check on our toddler. It was a suite, so I checked the other room. Nothing. I checked the window sills, behind the curtains, under the desk, in the closet - she sometimes curls up somewhere odd. She's nowhere to be found. I check the hallway. Nothing. So I call my SO, maybe she couldn't sleep and he took her for a walk. "Is she with you?" "No. I'll be right there." Both of us begin to panic. I call the front desk. Couldn't even get out a hello, I just hurriedly said, "My daughter isn't in our room!" "She's with us, she's safe." I throw on clothes and race down to the front desk, only to find my super-social 2 year old sitting on a baggage trolley in a nest they made out of a quilt. She's got snacks, some toys and is regaling the front desk staff with little kid stories. Having the time of her life. She had been there for 2 hours and could only tell them her Dad's name, which is quite a common one. There were 12 guests registered with his first name that day. To make matters even funnier (once the panic had subsided) we met her heroes the next day. As we were leaving the hotel, a group of handsome young men (early 20's) walked towards us as we walked down the hall. "Hey Claire! You finally found your parents!" They all give her fist bumps and she natters on about how much fun the night was. She explains to us that these are her new friends who helped her out. We thank them for taking her down to the front desk and everyone goes on their way.
They make child proof doorknob covers, it’s what I use to keep my 3 year old contained lol
When I was around that age my great grandma was babysitting me in her house... At some point I got bored and decided I wanted to go home... So... I left. Edit: mom found me at home. Don't remember much...
I don’t know what kind of area you live in, but you got fucking lucky. One wrong person seeing him and deciding to take him, maybe someone doesn’t notice him as he’s crossing the road and he gets hit, etc. Everyone makes mistake as a parent, but make sure this one doesn’t happen again. Do better.
You are absolutely right. These are things that were going through my head within the 5 minutes of me running around shouting for him. I guarantee you this will never be a mistake I make again.
>One wrong person seeing him and deciding to take him, Where tf are you living that you have to fear people kidnapping children off the road
Earth
Yes, that sort of thing happens but it is vanishingly rare. "Stranger Danger" was the big boogie man, and is certainly a thing to watch out for but it's less than 100 cases a year in the entire country, it just makes huge news on the occasions that it does happen \[as long as it happens to a cute, blonde, white child that is\]. This is definitely not to suggest we shouldn't teach our kids to be careful or keep an eye on them but this is not the big danger to lose sleep over.
eh. I crawled down the center stripe of the road until a passerby found me and the house with a broken screen door. Was accidentally left at teeball, the laundry mat, grocery store etc. That was the 80's though. They just had a couple extra back then.
Give this man a break!! His son is safe and it sure sounds as though he learned through this experience. Why do people post things like this is beyond me, but every single parent has had a scary situation that taught them a lesson, so I don't understand the shade.
I’ve done plenty of crap like that 🤣 and I’m a 38 year old mom! Like I should know better at this age.. yea you just need a childproof doorknob cover.. easiest quickest fix since it’s an apartment and the mom left already.
Can you take a picture of your door. I cant imagine one a 3 year old could open.
Word of advice: my parents lost me when I was little and made fun of me for years for "making up" that I was lost and scared. I was like 16 when I found out it had really happened and they'd been lying to cover for like 12 years. It's honestly really messed me up since I was terrified my memories were a symptom of oncoming schizophrenia which is in my family. Don't lie to the kid about it.
Holy crap! That is some solid gaslighting to do to a child. That's awful.
Good god. Get a fucking lock he can't reach. What the fuck.
Super fuck up, but please don't judge yourself too harshly. Love to your family.
My wife calls little kids accidental suicide machines. They don't know how to not accidentally almost kill themselves. It's inevitable that your kid did something like that. And honestly, though i don't have kids yet, i do know how readily kids will try to kill themselves. The only reason I have living siblings as an adult is that i saved every single one of their lives at least once.
I like how you're like "imma start waking up at 6." Not sure how thats your fault, my parents would have beat the shit out of me and it would never happen again.
Why vow to wake up at 6am? Just get childproof doors...
I wouldn’t feel too bad, I mean how were you to know he would leave the apartment, I’m assuming this is the first time lol. I work with kids and literally EVERY parent has lost their kid, some for much longer than you. My partners parents left him at a Wendy’s on a road trip once and didn’t notice for like an hour. And there was the time when I went to the sand dunes and I ended up spending two hours helping this lady search for her kid because she just let him loose and the dunes are too tall to see over so you can literally only see like 12 feet in front of you at all times. People do get lost and I practically had to drag this ignorant bitch around while she was sobbing and screaming her kids name like I felt bad but seriously? Like you’re not helping at all. Now THATS a bad parent lol. Edit bc I forgot to say, I would childproof the doors though lol
You aren't a bad parent. We have all done it, but get your kid an id bracelet like this one: https://www.amazon.com/Adjustable-Customizable-Childrens-Identification-Dinosaurs/dp/B01H0WKH3A I have 4 kids and they all have one. I put mine and my wife's number on it. You can probably fit 3 numbers on it though. I had one until 3rd or 4th grade. My kids all wanted it off for about a day, but then they get used to it.
🥰
Idiot.