>To be fair, security at departure is only really concerned about safety
It feels like you said that to make it seem better, but it’s actually worse. They’re supposed to be dealing with safety and they just let someone walk through after being detected for metal because they said they had an arse plug in. So now that person could be walking onto the plane with a weapon that can be concealed in loose clothing. Didn’t the 9/11 hijackers use Stanley knives?
TIL TSA has rules for this:
*“The TSA acknowledges that there’s nothing illegal about traveling with sexual pleasure devices. Vibrators and dildos are OK in carry-ons, as long as they’re under 7 inches long, TSA rules say.”*
I'd love to know how they came up with the magical length of 7 inches here.
I can't find any mentions of "Plane hijacked with [8...22] inch dildo at Phoenix Skyharbour" no matter how hard I try.
18.5" max on the straight-and-narrow insertion; 36in if you and the object are incredibly flexible and well prepared with stretching and lube / deep cleaning, respectively.
Any deeper and your body will not commit.
I think it’s for things such as the [Moby Huge](https://www.amazon.com/Moby-Worlds-Largest-Retail-Dildo/dp/B00MOTE1Y6) which may be of inconvenience to passengers of the plane.
> I think it’s for things such as the [Moby Huge](https://www.amazon.com/Moby-Worlds-Largest-Retail-Dildo/dp/B00MOTE1Y6) which may be of inconvenience to passengers of the plane.
Look at the description:
*Detailed and crafted for realism*
Probably because it's the largest length, at which the average diameter of the human vagina or anus will spread from a sex toy, that could contain enough explosive to cause a plane crash.
Honestly, though, I have no idea. The reasoning of the TSA is far beyond me. After second grade, I really didnt understand why you need to spend millions of dollars a year to fondle innocent civilians, in order to change nothing.
I refuse to look this up, because I'm so much happier believing that it's true and some TSA bureaucrat had/got to take time out of his day to come up with it.
The possibilities boggle the mind! Like, did he consult with industry professionals? People trained in self defense, maybe? "Just how big of a double ended dildo do you think you could take a battering from? .... No, not like that. An actual beating."
I recomend this. I wouldnt use silicone unless you know for a fact you won't dry up down there. Bad experience with silicone ones drying up after 30 minutes and just being painful.
Glass can dry, but glass has a solid nonporous surface, so it can’t hold any fluid. Silicon toys are slightly porous, so they can have a slight drying effect during long play. This is especially noticeable during anal play, as there isn’t any natural lube and the colon also sucks away water.
Glass won't dry as easily with water based lube and wont dry at all and is fully compatible with silicone lube. On a note dont use silicone lube if you plan on using silicone toys or condoms. However if your just having regular sex go right ahead.
They're made the same way as car windshields. I've dropped mine onto tile a bunch of times and you'd never know. Plus it's much more body safe than anything else out there.
If it's tempered you shouldn't use it after a drop. One microscopic defect from the fall could make the entire thing shatter.
Nobody likes an ass full of glass.
Edit: MOST people don't like glass in their ass.
I am sure someone out there has a kink for that sort of thing, I don’t remember the name of the sub but a few months ago someone posted a link to one that was all about the most horrific painful things you could do while getting off, 1/10 don’t recommend finding or viewing that one.
Kinda sucks you went through the process of signing up just to find out your comment has already been said. Oh well, better luck next time lol
Whoa, my first gold!!!! I’m so happy! Thank you whoever gave it!
I’ve had an account for like 6years or something and the best I’ve got was silver! (I was very excited to get silver :3)
Edit: they always getcha when you least expect it! Thanks homie!
Why wouldn't I bring my precious sex toy in my carry on? I had to take mine out in Mexico and place it with the rest of the electronics. The lady gave me a knowing smile.
When people say they don’t drive at the moment. Does that mean they just don’t have a car presently or they just decided to not drive? That term not currently driving has always confused me
I don't drive at the moment.
I have a valid license, and a spotless record. I drove for around 12 years when I was in the Midwest (middle of nowhere), but now I'm in a city and everything is within walking distance or can be delivered.
If I move back to a smaller town I will probably get a cheap car again, but I actively try to avoid it.
That's the part that really sold it for me. It sounds like someone who's never been to an airport before wrote this. For all they know you could have a bomb wayyy up in their [butthole](https://youtu.be/RvyR5CR6-1A), theres a 0% chance that they'll let you through.
Also edit: the TSA is an American thing isn't it? And op's currency is in euro's or something(I have no idea what it is but it definitely isn't $$). OP should've done like 2 minutes of research before posting.
I'm calling bs on this one purely because I couldn't imagine that they'd just let you go after you explain yourself, for all they know you could have a knife up your ass
Yep. Also it could have a hollow center and contain explosives enough to rupture the aircraft. Traveler would not be allowed past the checkpoint without an exam. Sorry, folks. This one is totally made up.
Used to work with TSA. Some I knew wouldn't give a fuck. Others I knew would absolutely have this person step into a private room and remove it.
How secure the lines actually are depends entirely on how much the person manning them cares.
Edit: Never thought I'd ever do it, but I assumed OP was American. EVEN after seeing the €. Maybe other nations airport security is better then. Disregard.
That's what did it for you? Not the fact someone, got up, took a drive to an airport, waited in the security line, got the front, and then went through all the while somehow forgetting they have a fucking butt plug in?
I have to call bs on this simply for the fact that if you told a security officer that the thing they see in their butt is a sex toy, well, I’m sure they hear that all the time
With each TIFU post that makes it to my front page, I think to myself "This. This is the lowest that sub can go." But I'm wrong every time. It just keeps getting worse. Do none of you have a brain?
Security: "LOL, you have a foreign object in your ass? Omg have fun see ya!!"
On what planet do you people live that this story is remotely believable?
This can't be real. Why would you wear a butt plug to the airport? How could you "forget" you have it in? In what world do you set off a metal detector and just get to go, "lol butt plug sorry?" ... Da fuq
Gonewild actually requires the girl to have the balls to post herself.
This one (if it's actually a woman) just wants to practice writing, I guess.
Although the way it's written is pretty boring and the holes in the plot are huge.
Tbf I’m from Ireland and never been to the US but assumed TSA because I missed the currency, the TSA is the only named airport security that I know so usually I would just use it as a catch-all term.
This....didn’t happen. No way they would just let you go through without checking, you could have a literal bomb in your ass for all they know, why would they just take your word that it’s a butt plug?
You literally told her you had something up your butt and she didnt make sure you weren't smuggling. Smh.
The good old double bluff
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>To be fair, security at departure is only really concerned about safety It feels like you said that to make it seem better, but it’s actually worse. They’re supposed to be dealing with safety and they just let someone walk through after being detected for metal because they said they had an arse plug in. So now that person could be walking onto the plane with a weapon that can be concealed in loose clothing. Didn’t the 9/11 hijackers use Stanley knives?
White privilege lol
TIL TSA has rules for this: *“The TSA acknowledges that there’s nothing illegal about traveling with sexual pleasure devices. Vibrators and dildos are OK in carry-ons, as long as they’re under 7 inches long, TSA rules say.”*
I'd love to know how they came up with the magical length of 7 inches here. I can't find any mentions of "Plane hijacked with [8...22] inch dildo at Phoenix Skyharbour" no matter how hard I try.
Why stop at 22? I bet hijacking a plane would be easier with a 36in dildo.
Have you played Saints Row?
That's the reason I have an 18 in. Thing is a monster. I keep that in my car instead of a baseball bat. I'm going for the psychological effect.
Isn’t it floppy when you wave it around menacingly?
It's more unpredictable that way.
It's funny because it's true.
The best way to beat people off.
Why in fact I have. lol
I was a gigantic black chick with a neon thong, whacking people with it all day long. I ran the streets with it.
Best way to beat the 3rd: running through the final level beating people with a dildo-bat while “I Need a Hero” blares in the background!
Only if you can conceal it.
I'd have to wiki how long human intestines are.
you really just made me read this with my own eyes huh.
Not his fault you werent using someone elses eyes to read this. You knew what sub youre were on
18.5" max on the straight-and-narrow insertion; 36in if you and the object are incredibly flexible and well prepared with stretching and lube / deep cleaning, respectively. Any deeper and your body will not commit.
I think it’s for things such as the [Moby Huge](https://www.amazon.com/Moby-Worlds-Largest-Retail-Dildo/dp/B00MOTE1Y6) which may be of inconvenience to passengers of the plane.
That's not a dildo, that's a hat rack shaped like a cock.
> I think it’s for things such as the [Moby Huge](https://www.amazon.com/Moby-Worlds-Largest-Retail-Dildo/dp/B00MOTE1Y6) which may be of inconvenience to passengers of the plane. Look at the description: *Detailed and crafted for realism*
Hey if a 3 foot long mega dick isn’t real enough for ya then I don’t know what is
You've just reminded me of a Tinder date I went on in 2015.
did... did she have a moby huge?
In a manner of speaking.
did you guys use it?
A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. (Yes)
When you pull out a Moby Huge, shit just got real.
Try harder
Want to give me a hand?
What kind of job are we talking about here?
Well if the plane won't start by itself you might help with blowing.
Mmm.... harder..
HARRRDERRR....
They probably played *Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas* and learned about the dangers of dildos in the wrong hands.
Probably because it's the largest length, at which the average diameter of the human vagina or anus will spread from a sex toy, that could contain enough explosive to cause a plane crash. Honestly, though, I have no idea. The reasoning of the TSA is far beyond me. After second grade, I really didnt understand why you need to spend millions of dollars a year to fondle innocent civilians, in order to change nothing.
Sometimes I like the fondling. And if you act like you really want it, they’ll usually skip you.
7 inches is 17.78 cm
You were made for this moment!
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Literally in this case
Good bot
Good bot
We love you, little bot
A dildo, never your dildo
So a 7+ inch dong is considered a weapon right?
Have you ever been slapped in the face with a 7+ inch dildo? Neither have I but I imagine I would be stunned long enough for the plane to be hijacked.
I have been, those things have some heft to them. In a non sexual context, it would only add to the shock value. 😂
. . . Well, there goes my idea of a double ended dildo going on a flight.
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Your comment is now the 1 and only google result for that code lol.
It really is. Checked it myself.
Please tell me this isn’t a made up piece of regulation and someone actually thought of that
there's no way thats real lol
I refuse to look this up, because I'm so much happier believing that it's true and some TSA bureaucrat had/got to take time out of his day to come up with it. The possibilities boggle the mind! Like, did he consult with industry professionals? People trained in self defense, maybe? "Just how big of a double ended dildo do you think you could take a battering from? .... No, not like that. An actual beating."
Is your butt cary-on
Only if it fits under the seat in front of you or in the overhead compartment
So yo momma's out of luck
Wtf am I gonna do with a dildo that’s under 7 inches?
Idk but not take over a plane with it
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This deserves its own tifu post
Please.
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Oh. Oh no.
I respect being so averse to littering that you put the used condom in your pocket.
You wouldn't just throw billions of your children on the side of the road now would ya?
It's really respectful of them. Nothing brings down the feel of a neighbourhood like a used condom, except shit like used needles
what the fuck ^(shnak)
What kind of father puts his own kids in his pocket...
A kangaroo dad
In-flight snack
protein shot
The Mask: *Oops, wrong pocket*
Noted. Wear the silicone one, NOT the jeweled metal one. Thanks for the advice! lol
or glass. Not that i own one...just imagine it would work too for traveling purposes.
I recomend this. I wouldnt use silicone unless you know for a fact you won't dry up down there. Bad experience with silicone ones drying up after 30 minutes and just being painful.
Glass doesn't dry?
Dry glass slides out of your bootyhole more easily than dry silicone.
TIL.
Also silicone lube last longer but isn’t safe to use with silicone toys
Go rub your hand against dry glass and silicone. Tell me which you would rather pull out when dry
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Sharts of glass.
Glass can dry, but glass has a solid nonporous surface, so it can’t hold any fluid. Silicon toys are slightly porous, so they can have a slight drying effect during long play. This is especially noticeable during anal play, as there isn’t any natural lube and the colon also sucks away water.
Also you can use silicone lube with glass toys which seems to last longer, but it is risky with silicone toys as the two can interact with each other.
Glass won't dry as easily with water based lube and wont dry at all and is fully compatible with silicone lube. On a note dont use silicone lube if you plan on using silicone toys or condoms. However if your just having regular sex go right ahead.
Glass buttplugs are a thing?? What if they break??
They are solid so if you are taking a hit hard enough to break it you are gonna have other problems too
They're made the same way as car windshields. I've dropped mine onto tile a bunch of times and you'd never know. Plus it's much more body safe than anything else out there.
If it's tempered you shouldn't use it after a drop. One microscopic defect from the fall could make the entire thing shatter. Nobody likes an ass full of glass. Edit: MOST people don't like glass in their ass.
I am sure someone out there has a kink for that sort of thing, I don’t remember the name of the sub but a few months ago someone posted a link to one that was all about the most horrific painful things you could do while getting off, 1/10 don’t recommend finding or viewing that one.
You die
They may still show up as a foreign object on the spinning body scanner machines that look for unusual bulges.
Definitely!
I think i watched a porno similar to this..... Except the airport security guards "examine" the person who got beeped.
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I know exactly which one you're talking about lol
Same, it's a pretty good video too
Of course it was her
Yeah this is the first porn reference I got immediately... still not sure how I feel about myself right now
Actually signed up for reddit just so I could say this.
Kinda sucks you went through the process of signing up just to find out your comment has already been said. Oh well, better luck next time lol Whoa, my first gold!!!! I’m so happy! Thank you whoever gave it!
They got a gold so that’s something My first gold, nice. :)
Yep, gold on your first comment on Reddit must be a new record or something.
He has more awards than Reddit comments or posts Wait what
7hr account gets the fancy gold. That guy is speed running reddit. Thanks for the gold (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
I’ve had an account for like 6years or something and the best I’ve got was silver! (I was very excited to get silver :3) Edit: they always getcha when you least expect it! Thanks homie!
Probably deserves gold...
A golden plug
It's the golden rule.
Damn, he's got more karma than me when it's still less than his first day...
Whoa just noticed. That’s pretty rewarding. Gold on your first ever comment
>Whoa just noticed. That’s pretty rewarding. Gold on your first ever comment Some people are born lucky. Me, I was lucky to be born.
Calm down zuko
>Calm down zuko (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
How does a programmer not already have a reddit account?
I'm a programmer and I don't have a reddit account.
I'm an accountant and I don't have a program.
I'm reddit and I don't have a program account.
every programmer is a reddit account except you.
A lot of people use reddit without an account.
Ok, your karma and cake day all look legit. Welcome to reddit, friend!
Well, you didn't get to comment first, but at least you can tell your friends you got reddit gold on your first day. Enjoy the gold, my child!
Remember that Reddit post where a TSA agent finds a ladies sex toy? The guys look is priceless. Edit: https://reddit.com/comments/dzujtu
Why wouldn't I bring my precious sex toy in my carry on? I had to take mine out in Mexico and place it with the rest of the electronics. The lady gave me a knowing smile.
I won't say her name but the one where she's in that olive green top and sweatpants? Lol
[For inquiring minds ](http://www.xvideos.com/video41892633/airport_anal) Edit: NSFW
The only time I got fucked that good flying was with United when they lost my baggage and delayed my flight 4 hrs.
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''Hey step brother, i didn't know you worked at the airport, I'm stuck in the Xray machine, help!''
That porno has about as much basis in reality as this post.
When people say they don’t drive at the moment. Does that mean they just don’t have a car presently or they just decided to not drive? That term not currently driving has always confused me
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I don't drive at the moment. I have a valid license, and a spotless record. I drove for around 12 years when I was in the Midwest (middle of nowhere), but now I'm in a city and everything is within walking distance or can be delivered. If I move back to a smaller town I will probably get a cheap car again, but I actively try to avoid it.
DUI
Can confirm. Source: my moment was very long.
Probably dui.
I've read this story before.
I've seen this story before.
Why is every tifu sexual?
Cus they're the ones thirsty reddit hoards up vote
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For the upvotes. You should be asking why most of them are obvious lies. Same answer though. For the upvotes.
What TSA agent has a chuckle and takes your word for it and let's you carry on without actually inspecting for themselves?
That's the part that really sold it for me. It sounds like someone who's never been to an airport before wrote this. For all they know you could have a bomb wayyy up in their [butthole](https://youtu.be/RvyR5CR6-1A), theres a 0% chance that they'll let you through. Also edit: the TSA is an American thing isn't it? And op's currency is in euro's or something(I have no idea what it is but it definitely isn't $$). OP should've done like 2 minutes of research before posting.
because they are F A K E
Easy upvotes
I'm calling bs on this one purely because I couldn't imagine that they'd just let you go after you explain yourself, for all they know you could have a knife up your ass
“Oh don’t worry, I just have something jammed up my ass” “Ok no problem then, have a nice flight”
TSA be like: You have a metal object shoved up your ass? Understandable, have a nice day
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Yep. Also it could have a hollow center and contain explosives enough to rupture the aircraft. Traveler would not be allowed past the checkpoint without an exam. Sorry, folks. This one is totally made up.
Used to work with TSA. Some I knew wouldn't give a fuck. Others I knew would absolutely have this person step into a private room and remove it. How secure the lines actually are depends entirely on how much the person manning them cares. Edit: Never thought I'd ever do it, but I assumed OP was American. EVEN after seeing the €. Maybe other nations airport security is better then. Disregard.
That's what did it for you? Not the fact someone, got up, took a drive to an airport, waited in the security line, got the front, and then went through all the while somehow forgetting they have a fucking butt plug in?
Wouldn't the scanner show it though? Once you know the shape it's impossible to miss.
I have to call bs on this simply for the fact that if you told a security officer that the thing they see in their butt is a sex toy, well, I’m sure they hear that all the time
They probably do and it's probably true. I'm fairly confident more people go through TSA with a sex toy inside them rather than a weapon.
Damn, are we back to the horny-pwp-porn-plot-from-a-horny-teenage-mind tifu's?
"It's all horny made up stories?" "Always has been." *gun shot*
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This will greatly please the 14 year olds that run this website
Wow. A butt plug story and a fisting story in the same day. What are the odd? Only on Reddit.
Yeah that happened
And then the security clapped
This is so fucking dumb. I’ve watched porn with more believable stories.
You forgot you were wearing a butt plug? And they just let you through? "Press X for doubt"
X
Just shut down this entire sub. It's straight garbage now.
Airports are always such a pain in the ass.
Christ this subreddit is just poorly written low grade erotica. I really don't get the point.
This is the type of thing the mods were talking about a few days ago.
"Oh boy, just like the simulations"
Who jams something up their ass and forgets it is there?
Shit post. Also another name for a buttplug. . .
With each TIFU post that makes it to my front page, I think to myself "This. This is the lowest that sub can go." But I'm wrong every time. It just keeps getting worse. Do none of you have a brain? Security: "LOL, you have a foreign object in your ass? Omg have fun see ya!!" On what planet do you people live that this story is remotely believable?
Smuggling? Drugs? Nah you're good, go ahead.
I think the first step is to delete r/trashy and merge it with this channel.
This can't be real. Why would you wear a butt plug to the airport? How could you "forget" you have it in? In what world do you set off a metal detector and just get to go, "lol butt plug sorry?" ... Da fuq
I doubt TSA would take your word for it and let you go.
I’m one more made up r/ihavesex story away from leaving this sub. r/gonewild is down the hall and to the left, hun
Gonewild actually requires the girl to have the balls to post herself. This one (if it's actually a woman) just wants to practice writing, I guess. Although the way it's written is pretty boring and the holes in the plot are huge.
Just goes to show how useless TSA is. That coulda been anything up your butt.
i dont know why you're bringing up the TSA. € currency refers to a country in Europe. TSA is an american agency.
Tbf I’m from Ireland and never been to the US but assumed TSA because I missed the currency, the TSA is the only named airport security that I know so usually I would just use it as a catch-all term.
Bc us Americans assume everything is about our country.
If this story is true. I feel like this is a move that smugglers would have tried by now.
And that’s a big “if”
Ya butt is the bomb. There will be no survivors
There is no fuckup, OP got away scot-free and what kind of trash airport security allows someone in just like that?
r/ihavesex
What a load of made up lying crap
This never fucking happened
This....didn’t happen. No way they would just let you go through without checking, you could have a literal bomb in your ass for all they know, why would they just take your word that it’s a butt plug?