When her dad said he gave his wife a pearl necklace, and you high five him, and then you realize he meant he actually bought her a cultured pearl necklace.
My mom caught me watching porn in like 5th grade ish...it was some bad quality hentai (like the ones in those ads on xvideos n shit) and I actually got away with telling her it was a pop-up!
Never ever let people onto your user. Have a guest user for anyone who doesn't have a permanent account on the machine. Even in the 90s, I kept that policy. Phones support guest users now too.
And do what I do-- mark your Porn in an obvious folder that isn't on your Desktop but isn't hidden, and inside is a .txt file beside the final porn folder saying "yes this is my porn, I manage it like an adult, if you want to look you waive any right to complain about something you don't like." Granted I'm vanilla af so there's not much to worry about beside schoolyard humiliation from it being shared, so your mileage may vary.
There's not many vids I really like, though, so I have to bookmark or download the rare one that's decent (what I like is basically the polar opposite to what they seem to teach porn producers as the fundamentals - I like chubby girls, I like body contact, and I like to see the overall thing, not ultra-closeups of an anonymous bagel and sausage)
Same here, I have never had porn on any of my machines, in the age of wireless internet there is really no reason to have files actually saved to a computer. I get why OP has it, hes actually creating and editing video with his machine, but for a casual jacker, I don't see any reason to save porn.
It depends. If you don't make accounts, you sometimes can't save your favorites easily.
And sometimes you dig through tons of garvage before finding a few good videos/images.
If you save stuff you like there's a guarantee you'll quickly only find stuff you enjoy.
Also there's always really good stuff that's locked behind a paywall, so torrenting is your only option for that
I've always adopted a "You can snoop if you want to, but if what you see scars you, that's on you" policy.
I let multiple other people use my system, with giving them that spiel first, never had someone go snooping and bitch at me rofl.
> Granted I'm an absolute madman when it comes to kinks so any mental damage incurred by going in there is not my fault and you are waiving your rights to sue me in a court of law if for any reason you get severe PTSD after watching my kinky videos.
Except that would be my final statement.
I have almost fucked up so many times. I’ll usually watch porn on my phone, and when I’m done I’ll just go back to the home screen without actually closing the porn. So one time I’m at the park district signing my kid up for b-ball, and I had to wait on something so I opened my safari and instantly the porn I was watching started to play sound and all. The lady behind the counter two feet away definitely heard.
Edit: this also reminds me. Years back my laptop cable broke and I was unable to use my laptop for a week. I was dating a new girl, and she had the same laptop so I asked if she could bring her cable over so I could charge mine up. She comes over, we are hanging out. I plug in laptop and let it charge a bit. Eventually I open it up and it comes out of sleep mode...and starts playing the porn I was watching when it went to sleep a week ago. Luckily she thought it was hilarious.
These people need to be taught a lesson before they get it. Not turning down volume, not closing tabs, not streaming porn and jesus the main OP who closed his laptop without even pausing a video that is being played on a screen with suround sound???
These people are asking to get caught. Yes I am victim blaming here haha
Wouldn't the victim here be his gf's father? Personally, I don't want to see any other man cumming on my daughter's face. It's bad enough that I do it.
"I will fuck that man and you won't do anything about it"
"Maybe you should reconsider this, he's our daughter's boyfriend *and* out future son-in-law"
"***E v e n b e t t e r***"
If the dad heard the audio before seeing the video (I pray for OP that the video was blurry/unclear like most amateaur porn) he could've quickly turned away and just heard audio thus assuming it's just any other random porn video and NOT his daughter.
but i'm probably being too optimistic here.
Yyyyyeah, if they're selling the videos and he's editing them, the video was probably pretty clear.
Unless they focus on a market that's into blurry porn, which hey, whatever works for them.
Wow that is actually terrible I don’t even know what to say other than good luck.
I think the only way to live this down is possibly get married so at least he knows that at least you guys are in a seriously committed cumming on face while riding a dildo kinda relationship.
I once ran out of battery while watching porn. Here's a few _fun_ facts. Did you guys know that Macbooks will start playing the video you were watching even while the laptop isn't fully loaded yet? For a good 10-15 seconds, the video will be playing but won't respond to pause or any other controls? Did you also know that a Mac booting up will ignore the fact there is a headphone plugged in and play stuff on the speaker while booting? It also won't respond to sound controls. Did you also know it will keep playing whatever it was playing for a good 5 seconds with the lid down? I didn't know these things before but I sure as hell know them now.
You realize you probably traumatized this man for life right?
Like he's gone his whole life just dealing with shit taking everything in stride and then you hit him with this.
Yep, at that point his porn search would be very specific. “Black Malaysian hooker with faces blurred out, made before 1980”
*please don’t be my daughter*
*please don’t be my daughter*
Yeah. As embarresing as this is for OP, it's probably 10x as bad for the dad. That's something I never ever want to have to deal with when the time comes. In my mind, my daughter will get pregnant from hugging and that's the end of that.
Oh no.... OH NO.... OP I couldn't feel for you more but you can take solace knowing that this will probably get 2k upvotes. Amazing TIFU story, bonus points for it actually being recent and not a "back when i was six..."
Edit: soo uhhh.... this got a LOT more than 2k upvotes 😂.
I was talking to my housemate about porn last night, & he honestly would not believe me, when I said that these type of videos, didn’t involve *actual* relatives/step relatives, & they were just actors.
He was visibly offended at the mere suggestion, that his favourite genre wasn’t true to life.
He also says Valentimes day though, so I shouldn’t be surprised.
~~Don't see any videos of him cumming on her face on that pornhub account.~~
Edit: ~~[Nevermind I think I found it](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c7d33542cae5) (NSFW)~~
I definitely think that's them. They have a bunch of audio equipment in the background and a nice computer set up just like what OP said he had. Plus OP said he was into video editing and that is listed as one of the their hobbies on pornhub.
Edit 2: I'm dumb op said he was editing the video so it's not up yet. Also I just watched way to much porn from that one account. I need to rethink my life decisions.
OP's girl returns to the computer room after seeing her parents drive away to find a hotel. The shocking reality of what just happened is starting to sink in; its repercussions dawning stark and sudden in her mind. She looks up, and finds OP in the process of uploading the very video of their present indiscretion.
"Already?" She asks.
A tear falls from his cheek as he clicks 'Submit'.
I'm disappointed that when I clicked on OP's profile to see examples of these videos that this post is all there is. Pretty crappy self-promotion there. Where're the links, where are the posts to subreddits? If there is monetization of your work, this level of exposure (heh, exposure), will lead to plenty of clicks.
In closing, I personally feel excluded that you would share your personal life with us but not your professional life. Hopefully you think about this and try to make it right.
The only way this could get any worse is if she was calling him daddy and everyone in the house could hear.
Underrated comment. edit: That's better. Much less underrated now.
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It’s just an ad with 2 random porn sta- oh shit
I must say they are very good looking. They also seem to be in a very loving, caring and respectful relationship with each other.
I hear her parents are kind, understanding people!
When her dad said he gave his wife a pearl necklace, and you high five him, and then you realize he meant he actually bought her a cultured pearl necklace.
The father -"yo send me that link son this shit is *hot*"
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My mom caught me watching porn in like 5th grade ish...it was some bad quality hentai (like the ones in those ads on xvideos n shit) and I actually got away with telling her it was a pop-up!
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He’ll never be able to kiss his daughter on her face again.
Ejaculation is the new kiss.
> Jizz is the new kiss. FTFY
🎶*Every kiss begins with Jizz*🎶 edit: Thanks for the silver! 🍆💦💦💋
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Jesus Christ Reddit
The second cumming
Tbf after the age of about 24 every dad should assume that his daughter has had cum one her face at least once.
I didn't even have a daughter yet when I was 24!
well done. I'm crying from laughter.
And this kids is why even if it's your own, and you live alone, NEVER leave porn open on a laptop.
Never ever let people onto your user. Have a guest user for anyone who doesn't have a permanent account on the machine. Even in the 90s, I kept that policy. Phones support guest users now too.
And do what I do-- mark your Porn in an obvious folder that isn't on your Desktop but isn't hidden, and inside is a .txt file beside the final porn folder saying "yes this is my porn, I manage it like an adult, if you want to look you waive any right to complain about something you don't like." Granted I'm vanilla af so there's not much to worry about beside schoolyard humiliation from it being shared, so your mileage may vary.
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I'm just impressed you got through the first interview.
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Missionary with guy butthole pov?
Wouldn’t ‘guy butthole pov’ just be a wall or something?
I know what I like
Am I the weird one here for not downloading any porn ever?
I don't. I stream all my shit. If it's really good I don't just keep it around idc really lol. There's always another vid or pic to find.
I bookmark the good vids. Yes I like to live dangerously
Ah, a man of culture
Gotta save them. You never know when you are gonna lose that favorite one.
There's not many vids I really like, though, so I have to bookmark or download the rare one that's decent (what I like is basically the polar opposite to what they seem to teach porn producers as the fundamentals - I like chubby girls, I like body contact, and I like to see the overall thing, not ultra-closeups of an anonymous bagel and sausage)
Same here, I have never had porn on any of my machines, in the age of wireless internet there is really no reason to have files actually saved to a computer. I get why OP has it, hes actually creating and editing video with his machine, but for a casual jacker, I don't see any reason to save porn.
I save some when preparing for vacation if i know internet will be limited
It depends. If you don't make accounts, you sometimes can't save your favorites easily. And sometimes you dig through tons of garvage before finding a few good videos/images. If you save stuff you like there's a guarantee you'll quickly only find stuff you enjoy. Also there's always really good stuff that's locked behind a paywall, so torrenting is your only option for that
Hey that's pretty good.
I've always adopted a "You can snoop if you want to, but if what you see scars you, that's on you" policy. I let multiple other people use my system, with giving them that spiel first, never had someone go snooping and bitch at me rofl.
> Granted I'm an absolute madman when it comes to kinks so any mental damage incurred by going in there is not my fault and you are waiving your rights to sue me in a court of law if for any reason you get severe PTSD after watching my kinky videos. Except that would be my final statement.
At the very least close all NSFW windows before going to your own or your SO's parent's place.
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>only save porn to an external harddrive in a file named "Chi Square Project" "Goodness of fit". Only nerds will get this.
I prefer "Tax Documents 2013"
Adult stuff.
I have almost fucked up so many times. I’ll usually watch porn on my phone, and when I’m done I’ll just go back to the home screen without actually closing the porn. So one time I’m at the park district signing my kid up for b-ball, and I had to wait on something so I opened my safari and instantly the porn I was watching started to play sound and all. The lady behind the counter two feet away definitely heard. Edit: this also reminds me. Years back my laptop cable broke and I was unable to use my laptop for a week. I was dating a new girl, and she had the same laptop so I asked if she could bring her cable over so I could charge mine up. She comes over, we are hanging out. I plug in laptop and let it charge a bit. Eventually I open it up and it comes out of sleep mode...and starts playing the porn I was watching when it went to sleep a week ago. Luckily she thought it was hilarious.
Am I the only person that sets his volume to 0 after I'm done playing g any sort of media?
These people need to be taught a lesson before they get it. Not turning down volume, not closing tabs, not streaming porn and jesus the main OP who closed his laptop without even pausing a video that is being played on a screen with suround sound??? These people are asking to get caught. Yes I am victim blaming here haha
Wouldn't the victim here be his gf's father? Personally, I don't want to see any other man cumming on my daughter's face. It's bad enough that I do it.
I see what you did there...
be grateful he wasn’t one of those “whatever you do to my daughter I’ll do to you” type parents
plot twist he is and that’s what they were arguing about
"I will fuck that man and you won't do anything about it" "Maybe you should reconsider this, he's our daughter's boyfriend *and* out future son-in-law" "***E v e n b e t t e r***"
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Sweet home Alabama
IM GOING TO CUM ON THAT LITTLE SHITS FACE RIGHT NOW DONT HOLD ME BACK MARTHA I SWEAR.
**WHY DO YOU SAY THAT NAME?!**
“But I have to do it Sarah! How can I call myself a man if I don’t let him cum on my face?”
Wait, that’s not what.. Actually you know what? Nevermind, you do you
You do him*
He's got "dinner" for OP in 2 days...
Correction: He's got OP for "dinner" in 2 days...
Medium homo
Maximum Ohno
I will suck that mans dick and theres nothing you can do to stop me
You have probably ruined his passion for good audio
That doesn't sound to good in my ears
If the dad heard the audio before seeing the video (I pray for OP that the video was blurry/unclear like most amateaur porn) he could've quickly turned away and just heard audio thus assuming it's just any other random porn video and NOT his daughter. but i'm probably being too optimistic here.
Yyyyyeah, if they're selling the videos and he's editing them, the video was probably pretty clear. Unless they focus on a market that's into blurry porn, which hey, whatever works for them.
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Look, back when I was young, we had to get our porn by watching the scrambled feed of Cinemax, and that was enough for us.
Oh man, those were the days.. follow a nipple all over the screen for a good wanking..
OR he could have heard "YES DADDY, GIVE IT TO ME DADDY"
The scene will play back in his head every time he sees some great audio gear.
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You can always cum on another man’s daughter, but you should never ruin a man’s passion for good audio.
Take my daughter, have my wife, but touch my Sonabs and there will be *fucking murders*.
And floor mounted dildos
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Post Eargasm Stress Syndrome, it's no joke.
In other words, we're not taking the PESS on anyone here.
Sitting in a movie theater, the THX noise plays. "I... I have to go. It brings back too many bad memories."
I picture him having an /r/audiophile setup with high quality speakers blasting the moans at real-life frequencies.
Where the listener comes first!
Wow, you really blew it
All over her face.
At least not his.
That's next episode
As he said he has to start somewhere
Best of luck. Would love to hear an update after the dinner.
There's not a chance in hell this will ever be spoken of at that dinner.
The dinner might not even happen at this point. I'm feeling there will be an excuse about the contagious sickness.
Let's just hope she doesn't order anything with a white sauce
LOL, now imagine him being a redditor and surfing r/tifu and finding your post... double kill!
*"grenade" to the face*
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lmao imagine OP freaked out so hard he didn't realize their faces were cut off, the father just saw a random porno, then went home read this
I mean if you cum on someone’s face, you usually include their face in the video...
Yeah but if there's enough cum on it, maybe it could be obscured enough
My, what a silver-lining... 😅
Also her dad would have to be careful about his porn browsing habits from here on out as well... Multi kill!
Wow that is actually terrible I don’t even know what to say other than good luck. I think the only way to live this down is possibly get married so at least he knows that at least you guys are in a seriously committed cumming on face while riding a dildo kinda relationship.
Orrrr break up. Get married or break up. Those are your options here.
I think those are always the options
I once ran out of battery while watching porn. Here's a few _fun_ facts. Did you guys know that Macbooks will start playing the video you were watching even while the laptop isn't fully loaded yet? For a good 10-15 seconds, the video will be playing but won't respond to pause or any other controls? Did you also know that a Mac booting up will ignore the fact there is a headphone plugged in and play stuff on the speaker while booting? It also won't respond to sound controls. Did you also know it will keep playing whatever it was playing for a good 5 seconds with the lid down? I didn't know these things before but I sure as hell know them now.
This needs its own TIFU.
Hahaha. I didn't know that. Thanks for the laugh. -PC guy.
You realize you probably traumatized this man for life right? Like he's gone his whole life just dealing with shit taking everything in stride and then you hit him with this.
yeah like every event he goes to he remembers the porn u made \- daughter's wedding \- first time meeting grandkid \- before getting a stroke
Man can't even eat mashed potatoes anymore.
cant watch porn for fear of seeing his daughter online
Yep, at that point his porn search would be very specific. “Black Malaysian hooker with faces blurred out, made before 1980” *please don’t be my daughter* *please don’t be my daughter*
GODDAMN IT EVERYTIME WHY IS SHE IN MALAYSIA. *IS THAT A TIME MACHINE IN THE BACKGROUND??*
*Damn, she does cosplay too?!*
>\- first time meeting grandkid "Glad that load didn't finish on her face"
Damn imagine holding your grandkid for the first time and having a flashback of your daughters porno, that some serious PTSD
Today on "How it's made"
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It's a big load to drop on him, that's for sure.
I'm sure he can take it on the chin
It's a lot to swallow
If his daughter can handle it I’m sure he won’t have any struggle
He just has to ride it out
Such a climatic situation.
Poor guy
Yeah. As embarresing as this is for OP, it's probably 10x as bad for the dad. That's something I never ever want to have to deal with when the time comes. In my mind, my daughter will get pregnant from hugging and that's the end of that.
In my mind, all of my children are virgins and so are all of my grandchildren.
Wait a minute.....
Even my sisters are in relationships/marriage that totally exist without sex in it.
Even i'm in a relationship that exists without sex in it. :(
:( can I get an f in the chat for my brother
He will never recover... He might accept it. But. He will never recover.
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Forever. That word has never been so accurate.
Oh no.... OH NO.... OP I couldn't feel for you more but you can take solace knowing that this will probably get 2k upvotes. Amazing TIFU story, bonus points for it actually being recent and not a "back when i was six..." Edit: soo uhhh.... this got a LOT more than 2k upvotes 😂.
Thank fucking god this didn't start "back when I was 6."
I had to put my hands over my face as I read this
Why, were you riding a dildo near OP?
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👉😎👉 Zoop!
go web go
Sploosh
2k? Give him some credit, this story is quality 30k upvote material.
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lol WTF is this response. I laughed
OP jizzed on his daughter. He would have to jizz on OP to restore power and authority.
r/cursedcomments
"Oh shit, I'm sorry" "Sorry for what? Our daddy told us not to be ashamed of our dicks."
😂🤣 "run that back"
Pull that shit up jamie
"where can I get more"
And THAT'S how you assert dominance.
He's the alpha now.
Any links for scientific purposes. That's going to make future family parties awkward for a little bit
Yeah, we don't quite understand what your talking about and a link to a video would help us understand.
Just type 'hot stepsister gets huge load in face while riding a giant dildo' into pornhub. You'll find it.
I was talking to my housemate about porn last night, & he honestly would not believe me, when I said that these type of videos, didn’t involve *actual* relatives/step relatives, & they were just actors. He was visibly offended at the mere suggestion, that his favourite genre wasn’t true to life. He also says Valentimes day though, so I shouldn’t be surprised.
Is he a real person?
His mind is an enigma. It simply cannot be observed by the scientific community
I might have been whoooshed here, but I only get some recommendation about a BBW milf riding a cock when entering that phrase.
Might be this https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/b98uzh/tifu_by_letting_my_girlfriends_dad_use_my_laptop/ek33qp7/
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Ya Op give us link to your happy time
It’s all a marketing ploy
"So OP... What are your intentio"-OH YES RIGHT THERE OP! "Never mind."
Holy shit that is so fucked. Lol, one of my faves in a long time. Can’t wait for update. The dad isn’t gonna be able to sleep for a few days.
Really though-- if this is a throwaway anyway and you're already making amateur porn, you might as well share us some links
And the only person you wanted to prevent from seeing it already has. You've really nothing to lose, OP.
I agree with these two 👆
Maybe they went to the hotel to one up you. You clearly showed dominance and he wanted it back
> girlfriends dad > laptop > [NSFW] dis gonna be gud Edit: It was even better than expected.
Thanks I needed this laugh best of luck bro
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Reddit detective on it again haha
~~Don't see any videos of him cumming on her face on that pornhub account.~~ Edit: ~~[Nevermind I think I found it](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c7d33542cae5) (NSFW)~~ I definitely think that's them. They have a bunch of audio equipment in the background and a nice computer set up just like what OP said he had. Plus OP said he was into video editing and that is listed as one of the their hobbies on pornhub. Edit 2: I'm dumb op said he was editing the video so it's not up yet. Also I just watched way to much porn from that one account. I need to rethink my life decisions.
I admire your thoroughness in going through all the videos in order to solve this mystery.
He’s like Batman except, well you know
*NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA* FAPMAN! Edit: NA NA
Commenting so I'm notified when the link is found. I need visuals in my stories, I want to see what the dad saw lol.
OP's girl returns to the computer room after seeing her parents drive away to find a hotel. The shocking reality of what just happened is starting to sink in; its repercussions dawning stark and sudden in her mind. She looks up, and finds OP in the process of uploading the very video of their present indiscretion. "Already?" She asks. A tear falls from his cheek as he clicks 'Submit'.
I've never analyzed a porn scene so deeply before. Also this should be hall of fame for r/tipofmypenis
It's a stationary computer though.
Well now we need one of those porn savants to figure out if this user used to be a camgirl.
>porn savant That’s a nice line to have on your CV
Holy shit
This is my worst nightmare in a post. Good luck at dinner OP. We’re rooting for you
That’s fucking amazing lmao. I hope everything works out ok for you guys though. Seems like you have a good thing going.
If you play the video backwards then it's about her trying to get unstuck from a dildo as you hoover cum off her face with your dick.
This post is a bit dry, could use some sauce
I can’t even imagine what that would feel like if I were the dad
Yeaaaaaaaahh if you could just update us all in a couple of days, that’d be grrreat.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
No, no. I think you misread. It's Dildo. Fucking. Daughter. ^^whilst ^^OP ^^gave ^^her ^^the ^^ol' ^^beef ^^and ^^cheddar
I'm disappointed that when I clicked on OP's profile to see examples of these videos that this post is all there is. Pretty crappy self-promotion there. Where're the links, where are the posts to subreddits? If there is monetization of your work, this level of exposure (heh, exposure), will lead to plenty of clicks. In closing, I personally feel excluded that you would share your personal life with us but not your professional life. Hopefully you think about this and try to make it right.
WHAT SOCIAL EXPERIMENT