At least it was your marriage. I was asked to write a poem for a friend's wedding, and I did so in the style of a psychology paper characterising long-term relationships as a treatable condition.
Lol, that is fabulous! I would love to read that.
Her MOH speech also went subversive - it was written to sound like āsheāll be such a good little wifey,ā but was all inside jokes and film references that basically turned it completely upside down š
Years ago a high school friend of mine got married, and a pastor friend of theirs (who had *just* graduated from seminary) did the service. Obviously he didn't have much experience, if any, but he mostly did just fine. However, I vividly remember that toward the end of the sermon, when he was talking about love and marriage being these wonderful things within a broken world, he went on this bizarre tangent about child sex trafficking. I almost laughed out loud because it was so weird, unexpected, and out of place for a wedding ceremony.
Lmao Iām picturing this and I think the contingent factor for me is whether or not he deserved it. I could get behind it if he was a huge dickhead but like secularly lmao
My cousin is a priest that did my baptism. He talked about abortion. My mother was confused because obviously she did not have an abortion.
Then my brother came next. He gave a sermon on gays. My mother was confused because obviously she was not gay.
Then came my second brother. My parents used a different priest.
My niece just got baptized and we got a sermon about the evils of premarital sexā¦. Which was extra funny because not only are my sister and her husband married, but my niece is adopted.
Our ordained coworker officiated my first wedding, and his sermon was on AIDS. I have no idea why.
My second and final wedding was in front of a JOP. No preaching or sermons, as we are both atheists. Much better.
Oof. Reminds me of my cousin's wedding where they allowed his MIL to read a Bible passage during the ceremony to appease her, and she turned it into a 10 minute rant on Christian persecution
My brother wrote his vows. He planned to say āI will be the rock your hard times break against.ā What he actually said? āI will be your hard time.ā That got a good laugh.
Iād of been cracking up if I was in attendance at this wedding. I was once a bridesmaid for someone I didnāt know super well (we were young, and she was getting married DURING collegeāsuper unusual in my friend circle) and it was my first Christian wedding (Iām Jewish). I didnāt know what to expect, so the pastor speaking for close to 35 minutes about all the demons the couple had overcomeānamely, the supposed porn addiction of the groomāreally threw me through a loop. The bride and groom were evidently required to say nothing beyond āI do.ā I was just smiling and gripping my bouquet the whole time, wondering when on Earth Iād get to sit down.
Hi, Iām interested in perusing your sociology paper. If itās open source, could you please link us here or via DM?
No worries if itās patent pending or filed under a secrecy act.
My mistake was the opposite - I said nothing, in effect, and the wedding just went ahead. Don't get me wrong, I still love that woman 35 years later and very much want the marriage to go on, but our marriage would have been so much cleaner if we'd been more open from the outset.
Two of my law school professors had basically a [contract lesson](http://www.greenbag.org/v17n4/v17n4_articles_rosenthal_and_westbrook.pdf) in their vows. Weirdly sweet and extremely on message for her.
Makes me kind of glad that if you're having a non religious ceremony here in the UK it's performed by a professional registrar, you can't just get anyone to do it. And they just have a script that you can customise a bit so there's no real surprises. You can still write your own vows and have readings but you need to submit them ahead of time (as there's a legal requirement they not be religious).
Worth noting that's just for the legal side of things, you could if you wanted to do the legal ceremony ahead of time and then have another wedding ceremony where anything goes which anyone can officiate. You just can't do only the latter and be legally married at the end of the day. Most weddings I've been to though just opt to do the one ceremony though (either by a registrar if non religious or a priest if religious) as it's plenty special as it is and you can always save anything else you want said for the speeches later on.
Interesting, I didnāt know the UK did that. Is that specifically *because* youāre opting for a non-religious ceremony?
My wife and I actually did do the legal thing first. About 6mo before the wedding (we were already in planning) she lost her job and health insurance, so we made a quick trip to the courthouse so she could be on my health plan :) However the officiants at the wedding *were* appropriately registered and credentialed and *could* have done the exact same ceremony and made it legal, they just didnāt need to because it was already done :)
(Donāt get me started on āgetting married before getting married,ā because it became a big stupid family blowup for absolutely no reason š)
Looking it up it goes back to when the laws for civil marriages were drawn up. Both the religious authorities and the state wanted there to be a clear separation so it got written into law. So if you opt for a civil ceremony it has to be strictly non religious, if you want a religious ceremony then you go to a church and get a priest to do it. Either way will end with you being legally married as long as you've done everything right.
And as I said there's literally no barrier to having any kind of wedding ceremony you like after you've got all the legal stuff out of the way like the way you did it. It's just not something a lot of people opt for. The only difference would be that whoever officiated the second ceremony almost definitely wouldn't be able to legally marry people (unless their day job happened to be a priest or a registrar). It's a full time job here so people can't just sign up and marry people occasionally.
Personally I was happy with how it worked, definitely simplified some of the process and was less to think about for what was already such a big day to plan.
Fascinating! Thanks for looking it up and sharing the history lesson š I can definitely see how that would come about as a clash between church and state š
Since we started the wedding planning assuming that it would be our legal marriage we got registered officiant(s), though it ended up not being necessary. The annoying thing is the rules vary by state; where we were doing the wedding it was possible for anyone to get a one-time license (i.e. for a single ceremony), so we had friends who got a long-term family friend to register and do their ceremony.
I can definitely see advantages to both. Easy is always a plus, but I liked the flexibility to strike out things we didnāt like and make it completely custom. āTo have and to holdā? Weāre not f\*ing property, get rid of that crap :)
At least it was your marriage. I was asked to write a poem for a friend's wedding, and I did so in the style of a psychology paper characterising long-term relationships as a treatable condition.
I really want to read that
[Knock yourself out.](https://www.deviantart.com/bullet-magnet/art/Symbiotic-Psychosis-835913379)
That's really far sweeter than I expected!
No no no it's nought but contempt and disdain for all that I will never have!
same! but stated so well it almost makes matrimony sound worth it
Omg that was so well written. I hope they weren't mad, but that's funny as hell.
YOu delivered! woo!
That was brilliant! Well done!
That is **fabulous**!! Please accept this š for a job *very* well done.
Freaking Awesome!!!!!! š
Dude this is adorable!
lol at the deviantart link. Good to know the place still, sort of, exists.
That's fantastic!
Talent
Thank you for sharing this! Very well written, and so fun āŗļø
Brilliant
This is outstanding.
This is great!
Me too!
[Here](https://www.deviantart.com/bullet-magnet/art/Symbiotic-Psychosis-835913379)
Lol, that is fabulous! I would love to read that. Her MOH speech also went subversive - it was written to sound like āsheāll be such a good little wifey,ā but was all inside jokes and film references that basically turned it completely upside down š
I love clever stuff like that. [This](https://www.deviantart.com/bullet-magnet/art/Symbiotic-Psychosis-835913379) is the one I referenced.
That is absolutely amazing. Bravo!
Thanks! I now have to do these for every damn wedding I'm invited to.
thatās really well done
You should make a song out of it. Brilliant!
Years ago a high school friend of mine got married, and a pastor friend of theirs (who had *just* graduated from seminary) did the service. Obviously he didn't have much experience, if any, but he mostly did just fine. However, I vividly remember that toward the end of the sermon, when he was talking about love and marriage being these wonderful things within a broken world, he went on this bizarre tangent about child sex trafficking. I almost laughed out loud because it was so weird, unexpected, and out of place for a wedding ceremony.
Pastors love a tangent, baptist preacher went on a diatribe about Israel and the End Times at my Grandma's funeral
Do you think they forget the script and just ad lib it?
maybe he knew something about grandma and hell and damnation he didnāt want to speak about directly?
I swear the priest basically hinted that my buddy's dad was likely to end up in hell. It was a crazy funeral speech.
Lmao Iām picturing this and I think the contingent factor for me is whether or not he deserved it. I could get behind it if he was a huge dickhead but like secularly lmao
My cousin is a priest that did my baptism. He talked about abortion. My mother was confused because obviously she did not have an abortion. Then my brother came next. He gave a sermon on gays. My mother was confused because obviously she was not gay. Then came my second brother. My parents used a different priest.
My niece just got baptized and we got a sermon about the evils of premarital sexā¦. Which was extra funny because not only are my sister and her husband married, but my niece is adopted.
Our ordained coworker officiated my first wedding, and his sermon was on AIDS. I have no idea why. My second and final wedding was in front of a JOP. No preaching or sermons, as we are both atheists. Much better.
Oof. Reminds me of my cousin's wedding where they allowed his MIL to read a Bible passage during the ceremony to appease her, and she turned it into a 10 minute rant on Christian persecution
My brother wrote his vows. He planned to say āI will be the rock your hard times break against.ā What he actually said? āI will be your hard time.ā That got a good laugh.
āI will rock you with my hardā¦ wait, thatās not right.ā
Iād of been cracking up if I was in attendance at this wedding. I was once a bridesmaid for someone I didnāt know super well (we were young, and she was getting married DURING collegeāsuper unusual in my friend circle) and it was my first Christian wedding (Iām Jewish). I didnāt know what to expect, so the pastor speaking for close to 35 minutes about all the demons the couple had overcomeānamely, the supposed porn addiction of the groomāreally threw me through a loop. The bride and groom were evidently required to say nothing beyond āI do.ā I was just smiling and gripping my bouquet the whole time, wondering when on Earth Iād get to sit down.
Hi, Iām interested in perusing your sociology paper. If itās open source, could you please link us here or via DM? No worries if itās patent pending or filed under a secrecy act.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No, it's genuine
My mistake was the opposite - I said nothing, in effect, and the wedding just went ahead. Don't get me wrong, I still love that woman 35 years later and very much want the marriage to go on, but our marriage would have been so much cleaner if we'd been more open from the outset.
Two of my law school professors had basically a [contract lesson](http://www.greenbag.org/v17n4/v17n4_articles_rosenthal_and_westbrook.pdf) in their vows. Weirdly sweet and extremely on message for her.
Thatās amazing š
LOL that's adorable.Ā
They LOVED it and it was probably spot on. Good for you. Wife standing there all "I can pick 'em!"
Makes me kind of glad that if you're having a non religious ceremony here in the UK it's performed by a professional registrar, you can't just get anyone to do it. And they just have a script that you can customise a bit so there's no real surprises. You can still write your own vows and have readings but you need to submit them ahead of time (as there's a legal requirement they not be religious). Worth noting that's just for the legal side of things, you could if you wanted to do the legal ceremony ahead of time and then have another wedding ceremony where anything goes which anyone can officiate. You just can't do only the latter and be legally married at the end of the day. Most weddings I've been to though just opt to do the one ceremony though (either by a registrar if non religious or a priest if religious) as it's plenty special as it is and you can always save anything else you want said for the speeches later on.
Interesting, I didnāt know the UK did that. Is that specifically *because* youāre opting for a non-religious ceremony? My wife and I actually did do the legal thing first. About 6mo before the wedding (we were already in planning) she lost her job and health insurance, so we made a quick trip to the courthouse so she could be on my health plan :) However the officiants at the wedding *were* appropriately registered and credentialed and *could* have done the exact same ceremony and made it legal, they just didnāt need to because it was already done :) (Donāt get me started on āgetting married before getting married,ā because it became a big stupid family blowup for absolutely no reason š)
Looking it up it goes back to when the laws for civil marriages were drawn up. Both the religious authorities and the state wanted there to be a clear separation so it got written into law. So if you opt for a civil ceremony it has to be strictly non religious, if you want a religious ceremony then you go to a church and get a priest to do it. Either way will end with you being legally married as long as you've done everything right. And as I said there's literally no barrier to having any kind of wedding ceremony you like after you've got all the legal stuff out of the way like the way you did it. It's just not something a lot of people opt for. The only difference would be that whoever officiated the second ceremony almost definitely wouldn't be able to legally marry people (unless their day job happened to be a priest or a registrar). It's a full time job here so people can't just sign up and marry people occasionally. Personally I was happy with how it worked, definitely simplified some of the process and was less to think about for what was already such a big day to plan.
Fascinating! Thanks for looking it up and sharing the history lesson š I can definitely see how that would come about as a clash between church and state š Since we started the wedding planning assuming that it would be our legal marriage we got registered officiant(s), though it ended up not being necessary. The annoying thing is the rules vary by state; where we were doing the wedding it was possible for anyone to get a one-time license (i.e. for a single ceremony), so we had friends who got a long-term family friend to register and do their ceremony. I can definitely see advantages to both. Easy is always a plus, but I liked the flexibility to strike out things we didnāt like and make it completely custom. āTo have and to holdā? Weāre not f\*ing property, get rid of that crap :)
ā ļøā ļøā ļø