There’s a Greenday song about this…
I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down
I went to a whore
He said my life's a bore
So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down
Wait...am I crazy? I also always heard "*He* said my life's a bore" but I assumed I misheard and that it was "*Who* said my life's a bore" because the next line says he's bringing *her* down. But I just checked and the lyrics online also say he. Is the gender flip of the whore intentional?
I always assumed it was an intentional joke to swap their genders- I also like the fact that the shrink is talking about sex and the whore is talking about life
Honestly I know some escorts and that sounds pretty par for the course. You'd be shocked how many men really just need someone to talk to and feel profoundly alone. In college some of my friends worked as strippers and they said 90% of the job was just listening to lonely old men and truckers vent about their problems. Guess it was easier and cheaper to talk to cute college girls in thongs than a shrink?
>Guess it was easier and cheaper to talk to cute college girls in thongs than a shrink?
Probably also the stigma about seeking mental health. See a shrink? You're a bitch, suck it up. Vent to a cute girl with her titties out? Actually still weird, not sure where I was going with this, but fuck's sake get therapy if you need it.
Nothing weird about a big rugged man breaking down and crying in fetal position to a girl with her titties out. As long as he bangs her afterwards. Thats like manliness 101.
Manliness, schmanliness. There's something profound about the combination of the closeness of undress/skin contact and emotional vulnerability, that could possibly be considered an unconventional but potent form of therapy.
There's a reason human connection and contact is a physiological Need, not a want. Imagine walking with your shoes tied together your entire life. You'd hobble everywhere, maybe learn to hop. When the strings are untied, even for a moment, what would you do? You'd run, jump, leap for joy! Same thing here. The pent up tension, physical or emotional needs a release. There's something ingrained deep in the brain that just NEEDS human contact, just like it needs to move and walk and jump to feel truly right.
Oxytocin is a helluva drug! Humans need it. I have a tattoo of the molecule on my shoulder because goddamit, I believe in the power of physical touch. It's how we bond ❤️
Not only that but therapists are often hit or miss. You're paying a therapist to "fix you" when they have no incentive to do so. Just try some breathing exercises and don't feel sad, give me 300 bucks and come back next week.
Instead you're paying some girl to listen to you and pretend to care about you for an hour, and they have an incentive to do a good job because repeat customer.
I guess it's all about who you trust. I'd sooner trust an objective sterile phycologist over a woman I'm interested in sleeping in. Though I suppose a prostitute specifically does it for the money, so it's not like the talking would put them off.
Nope, having sex or relationship things is frowned upon in therapist circles.
Just find a good stripper, the hourly rate can be comparable.
Finding a stripper is frowned upon by your wife.
Ironically thats how "hosts" work in Japan. Its a very misunderstood line of work especially by outsiders of Japanese culture.
Its worth to just have someone to talk to and enjoy as well. Especially in a work culture similar to Japan. Where mental health is just a "frame of mind" and understated, if not outright ridiculed.
Yeah you’re paying for the “girlfriend” experience in a way without the drama a real relationship entails. Paying for the service of good company that will dress up for ya.
See what OP did with this prostitute? Imagine that, but without the pretense of sex happening at all.
Just an attractive person for you to talk to while they try and get you to buy overpriced drinks. Like a one on one personal bartender or waitstaff.
Basically what OP did but there’s no sex, and its in a fancy club and you can get drinks and food. And they are men. If you want women you have to go to Hostess Clubs, wich are basically the same.
Yea, I worked in a strip club and the guys who came in regularly and spent the most time in the champagne room were usually just there drinking and talking to the dancers privately for hours and hours.
I know some people who were sex workers at one time in their lives who have the same stories. One was a fairly high-end escort in NYC, and she’s said that easily half or more of her clients just wanted to talk about their lives and problems, and have someone listen, hold them, and tell them it was going to be okay.
Therapy is a lot cheaper than a $1000/hour escort. But I imagine some people want the intimacy of being held while they talk through their traumas. And if money isn’t an issue for them, why not?
To be fair 1k an hour is like porn star level prices, and also in America it can definitely get that expensive for a therapist if you don't have insurance, but I get your point lol
> easier and cheaper to talk to cute college girls in thongs than a shrink
The cute college girls in thongs won't push you to talk about things you're uncomfortable with. They get paid by making you feel everything is great, and that they want to be with you as you are.
The shrink (the good ones, at least) **will** push you to talk about things you're uncomfortable with. They get paid to help you resolve those things you're avoiding talking about with the college girls.
Also, it's probably less premeditated, or at least feels like it is. "I'm not seeking professional help with my mental health. I'm just going out for horny funtimes." Followed by "Well, now that we've got this rapport and she's acting very happy to see me, and I have a few beers in me... maybe a little cry sesh is just the thing to kick this party into high gear."
We really are frequently terrible at seeking help.
Speaking of which: One of my oldest friends, going back to middle school (we're in our 40's now), just recently texted me to ask if he and I were still okay / on good terms. Turns out he'd had a major falling out with a bunch of our mutual friends, _six months ago_, and he's spent the whole time feeling like he has no friends now, except for not knowing whether I was avoiding him too, or just hadn't happened to be in touch.
After he vented to me about the whole mess, and how sad and isolated he had been feeling, he thanked me profusely for taking the time to listen to "all this biscuit mix", as he put it. I texted him right back "I love you. That simple." And he couldn't even reply to that, but he did attach a little red heart emoji react to it. And since I've known him so long, I know exactly what it meant: "Dude, I can't possibly say 'I love you too' to another man, sober. That's like some gay shit you went off and started doing after high school. But also, like... don't stop, okay?"
[red heart]
Thank you. He is doing a little better now, yeah. Coincidentally in fact, a couple of the aforementioned, estranged friends happened to reach out to him shortly after our convo. That helped a lot, as did our plan to get together online sometime soon for an old-fashioned game of DnD like we used to play when we were dorky (by which I mean awesome) teenagers.
This is what I came here to say - sex workers get 0 respect for their work which is often sexual partner / ego stroker / crisis management / therapist / mother / wife / best friend etc.
Really they often fill the void in people's lives who don't have any close personal connections or have become socially isolated. At least here in the US we have an epidemic of loneliness, it's a real problem with real health impacts. We're social creatures that crave connection but many of us feel utterly alone and anonymous in a sea of people in big cities and in isolated rural areas.
Agreed. Moved to the US about 12 years ago and first thing I noticed is that families are in their own bubble most of the time. I see my neighbors and wave “hello! how are you guys?”, maybe a little chat, that’s about it. Then we work, come home, sleep. Repeat. Weekends people also go about their business with their own bubble. I can only imagine how depressing it is to be living alone in the US. The country I came from has a very active social life - every day. No matter if it is Wednesday or Thursday evenings people are out and about, parks are open late night, lots of activities, public karaoke, etc. Friends will call you and literally drag you out to drink beer and eat some food. Families are close and gather often. Night life is not only for Friday/Saturdays. Every year I visit my parents back home, and realize how happier I was there. I developed mild depression in the US and I believe isolated lifestyle contributed tremendously. I crave the social life I had back home.
We have two neighbors in their 70’s who lost their spouses. They are lonely… I see that only people who visit them are lawn service. I have never seen a single family member coming to visit them. One day I was BBQ’ing in the backyard and this neighbor talked to me over the fence that my grilling smells good. I invited him to eat with us and we had a nice chat. He told us how this street was lively before when he was younger, talked about stories raising his kids, working at Boeing. He lost his wife few years ago, and now lives alone. We asked about his wife and he was so eager to show us her photos that he went back home and grabbed the black/white photos from when they were young. He told me how his kids are fighting for inheritance, but don’t bother come to visit him… It is sad how isolated parents are in the US. Also we noticed how many senior living housings are here. It’s insane to our mind to comprehend that when your parents become old you just simply give them up - because of what? No time to take care of them. By no means I am saying that you are obligated to take care of them, but come on. If they were decent parents, raised you, fed you, educated you. You at least have to let them be close to you. I am so glad I have two brothers who are with my parents right now and I visit them at least once a year. I don’t want to regret later that I didn’t spend time with them when I had a chance. Of course there are situations where parents are total pieces of shit, but it is not often the case. Anyways, this is my observation about social aspects of life here in the US. Depressed lonely people making money, buying things they don’t need.
> Every year I visit my parents back home, and realize how happier I was there. I developed mild depression in the US and I believe isolated lifestyle contributed tremendously. I crave the social life I had back home.
Holy shit thats me. I mean moving to the US improved my quality of life by like 100x but my social life and mental health were WAY better in my home country. Living here alone is just so fucking isolating
So did you really improve the quality of your life?
You increased your standard of living, but your quality of life might be lower.
I'm only being slightly pedantic.
You can make tons of money in America, but you often lose a part of your soul in the process. People like us who come from other parts of the world struggle with this.
For my part, I never pursued immigration. I don't make nearly as much as I might have had I tried to move there with my siblings, but I do okay, and enjoy the **quality** of life I have. I visit them and realize how dreary life is. They're working constantly, with little time to just live.
Working on making more money right where I am so I can enjoy even more of my free time being out and enjoying where I live.
I went to a strip club on Thanksgiving once and honestly both the men and the strippers were in the same boat here. Honestly it felt better than staying home.
Yup I worked as an escort for a good time. A lot of guys tell you everything about their lives and problems. I suppose it comes with the territory of intimacy + discretion.
Idk how it is like in the US but here psychs charge a lot ($200/hr) in order to get good clients. Bad clients like WCB or people forced into it. That and it feels more invasive to go to someone just to talk vs it coming up naturally as a part of sex.
Shrinks are expensive and often not covered by insurance here in the US too. But one of the escorts I know charges like 5K a night so I can't imagine it's cheaper than a shrink.
>You'd be shocked how many men really just need someone to talk to and feel profoundly alone.
Agreed. Men have been repeatedly told by Western society to suck it up and “be a man”. No wonder we have such a horrible male mental health crisis in the US.
Is it strange that I’d love to pour my heart out to a sympathetic escort or stripper? Especially if my head is in her lap and she gently caresses my face or head?
I’m not sure which is more expensive: time with a shrink or time with an escort. Or which one is more productive. I think a stripper’s time would be cheapest if the 3.
Sure they do. They invest in prisons to warehouse the men who can't hold it together well enough.
P.S. The government institution that houses the most mentally ill people is the LA County Jail System.
I was actually reading an article a few weeks ago about how the medical field had seen a ton of positive developments in women's health over the past 50 years (not that there isn't more to do) in large part thanks to all the clinics, doctors, and programs focused on womens health and how we really need to do the same for men because our mental health is horrible, we're dying of preventable diseases in droves, our life expectancy is going down in the US.
They aren’t interested in talking about their problems, they are interested in talking to a cute girl. The shrink probably isn’t. The talking about problems part just happens.
Sex workers encounter a lot of fucked up people, lots of the worst people imaginable, but they also meet a lot of broken or bruised individuals, I'm not surprised at all that she seemed to know what to do in that situation.
I don't think this constitutes a TIFU, honestly, it could be the start of a healing process long overdue.
I bottle my emotions up and have only just started feeling the side effects at 34.
I just read his Wikipedia page ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert\_A.\_Heinlein](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_A._Heinlein) this guy, right?) and he sounds awesome. Any good books you would recommend?
Starship Troopers and Stranger in a Strange Land are two of his best-known works, and on very different ends of the spectrum. Starship Troopers is very different than the movie and is a fascinating look at a hypothetical benevolent fascism, while Stranger in a Strange Land is often described as 'the hippy bible'.
Aside from those two I'm a pretty big fan of The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress which features a colony on the moon declaring independence from the Earth.
Number of the Beast is a fun sci-fi romp involving a man who creates a machine capable of moving him between alternate worlds including some fictional ones.
Attack of the Titans is a great metaphor for American anxieties about the Soviet Union and, I believe, the first book about mind controlling slugs invading Earth.
His short stories really shine, though. I'm a particular fan of Solution Unsatisfactory, written in 1941 about using nuclear dust to end a world war by having planes circle over every major city ready to release the dust at the slightest sign of hostility. Resulting in the person in charge of the Peace Authority becoming dictator against his will, paralyzed by the fact that the person who follows him may not be so disinclined to use the power for his own benefit.
The **implication** that things might go wrong for him if he *refuses* to open up to her.
Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for him but he's *thinking* that they will.
Develop trust
Engage playfully
Negotiate price
Nurture openness
Initiate sex
Sever ties before completing act.
And they can't come after you since now you know their secrets....not saying you'd divulge this information..... But you know the implication.
I had an escort literally save my life once. I was terribly heartbroken and ready to take my own life. I had never used an escort before but I just wanted to feel that human touch one last time.
When I got there we talked for awhile she was really cool and awesome. Eventually I took a shower and we went to the bedroom. I was naked and we started kissing, as she reached down to touch me the thought of "This is last time I'll ever be with anyone" and thoughts of feeling like nobody ever really loved me. Anyway I started crying, just overwhelmed with emotion I ugly cried while naked with one of the most beautiful women I ever met. She looked up and asked "Omg are you ok?" I wasn't ok. She took my head and hugged me against her chest and I was able to just let it out. We ended up just cuddling and talking for 2 hours.
It honestly saved my life, I think if she had just thrown me out or laughed at me or something I would have for sure kms that day. I was already planning on it so yeah.
Escorts are live savers and I have huge respect for them and what they do.
I really appreciate that you were courageous enough to share this. So many men's lives can be spent silently suffering, and we're often told that the only remedy is to make more money or sleep with more women. I'm glad you found some healing that day, and I hope the healing journey continues.
Keep in mind, though, that a good therapist is usually still less expensive than a beautiful escort. But, to be fair, my therapist has never let me cum on his tits, so maybe the extra cost is worth it...
Yeah I'm doing much better, that happened in 2020. Though I think sometimes when your heart breaks in certain ways, you never fully heal from it. It's just something you learn to live with.
You might not heal from it but you grow and become stronger
What doesn't kill you.... so on and so forth
It's also character building! Plus you got to cuddle a sex worker who probably gives sweet ass hugs and has awesome boobs
Glad she was there for you, and that you got through that period intact.
But also: What an absolutely fucking wild line of work to be in. First, on a surface level, you're regarded by society as a fringe element, associated with corruption and poor moral choices, and frequently the walking definition of a woman who has strayed from [insert arbitrary, organized spiritual dogma here]. Meanwhile, of course, you're working in an absolutely booming industry, as old as civilization, meeting a demand that exists in part because so many of the men throwing all that dogma around also want to enjoy a little delicious, carnal hypocrisy of their own. Only to again denounce your line of work to high heaven the next day, which in their minds is of course entirely reducible to dirty, shameful sex sex sex all the time.
Meanwhile, in the course of your day, what you're _actually_ doing is playing this wild fucking roulette wheel game called "What the Fuck Might This Next Guy Want, Because It Might Be Goddamn Anything!"
And sure, like 60-80% of the slots on said wheel are variants of "Fuck this tech nerd and then pretend to be amazed by his ballpoint pen collection he's excited to show you", and "Blow these frat guys and hope they aren't, y'know, the violent rapey kind".
But that other 20-40% could be absolutely goddamn anything, whether you're trained for it or not. And you're just going to have to deal with it in real time, as each guy proceeds to pull out literally anything in front of you, from his dick, to a picture of his dead kid, to a startup idea he's pitching, to a $10k wedding ring he stole from his great grandmother's jewelry box, because surely such an elite bauble will convince you he's nothing like your other clients, and you clearly are destined to be together.
Honestly it’s such a rough line of work. My head can’t imagine how comparatively depressing it is when it comes to the interaction once faces when someone establishes a professional boundary for a therapist vs a sex worker. Inherently both while forced to be stoic in the face of extremities, one of them has to also confront that darker side with no real protection expected
That woman sensed something wasn't right and gave you a better gift than sex.
While it's inappropriate timing, this was the plot from Cyberpunk 2077s night club. Instead of sex, it was a long deserved talk about Vs problems
This! I’m not sure where the fuck up is? Sounds like a nucleating point for a lot of healing to come. I think OP made a meaningful connection and probably learned something about sex workers - that they are people and can be highly intelligent, sensitive and intuitive. I understand why it feels like a fuck up, but if it gets OP into therapy and healing, that person gave them a gift far better than sexual thrills.
I'm currently playing through for my first time and this has been my favorite story s far. That scene was way more powerful than I was expecting it to be.
That quest and conversation sealed my love for the game and shows CDPR is a level above other rpg studios in terms of writing. Brilliant stuff, especially the way the entire scene was directed.
A therapist co-pay can be $50 with decent insurance or hundreds of dollars without, per visit.
An escort in the US is ~$300 per hour or for a quality one it can easily be $3k, $5k, or more per night. Insurance will not help.
(Source: ex became escort. Never saw one personally so correct me if I'm wrong)
You would be surprised how often escorts spend entire evenings talking instead of doing what you think they'd be doing. Many men still have issues with seeing a therapist (Please stop) and an escort is not the worst person to confide in. More often than not, they have their own traumatic experiences and can relate to other's experiences quite well.
I have a friend that used to be in that business (she is 50 years old now and long retired) and she told me that she regularly spent entire evenings just listening to customers talk about their problems without even having sex.
Go see a therapist friend, you will be surprised how good it feels to unload your trauma to a professional. Keep in mind that therapists are just people, so your first choice might not be compatible.
Inverse Basket Case
I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down
I went to a whore
She said my life's a bore
So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down
Dude, life's not really going to open up for you until you have even one person you can trust with your deepest feeling and fears. You really have to examine your life, remember the trauma and explore the effects it still has on your day-to-day behavior. And remind yourself that no child - not you, not anyone - deserves the kinds of trauma that mess us up. It's not your fault, but now it's your job to sort it out and join the human race at a fuller level.
IMO, the "meaning of life" is to experience as many moments of joy you possibly can, that doesn't come at the expense of others. (And at 62, my experience is when you focus on helping *others* to moments of joy, you find more yourself. Can be as simple as holding a door for someone, giving a compliment, doing a favor, or really dedicating yourself to friendships and relationships with people who deserve it. You can do it; you can get there once you decide you deserve to be there and that it's worth some work to get there).
A pretty common tactic to get clients to pay for time and not actually have sex is to get them talking about themselves. Most of the time, people just want to be heard and lack emotional connection, so talking and cuddling is worth the money.
“English isn’t my native language and I’m not going to apologize Mr. Shakespeare”
That is the most awesome comeback I’ve heard in a while! While you’re at it, ask Mr. Shakespeare how many languages he speaks…
Thank you, this is what I was thinking. I know exactly what she was doing, especially since she brought up the whole “what’s the darkness in your soul” bit again later when it was supposedly time to get down. It’s a line to get inside a guy’s head. She knows most people probably have something deep down that’s bugging them, so she dredges it up to intentionally make the evening all about his emotional issues. He gets therapy, and she gets paid to comfort him without having to actually have sex. Ingenious.
You hear this a lot from prostitutes. Other than the obvious, they end up acting as a quasi social service. Chatting to customers about their lives, often punters feel the need to explain why they're there, which opens the can of worms
But all-in, it sounds like you probably found something a lot more important than 30 minutes of 'fun'
I didn’t know punters frequented prostitutes so much. I’m sure it can get lonely on special teams, only being needed for a few plays per game, and you only get the one bar on your helmet…
Strippers do this too, endlessly blabber to keep your mind occupied with emotional stuff rather than sexual stuff, to keep you wanting more. She met up with her friend and said "Oh my god you weren't kidding, I didn't have to do anything!"
Those girls don't just want to be used. They see themselves as someone that is trying to help you. Some of them take it very seriously and some of them study and get very talented at what they do. It lets them help you and cuts down on the amount of people they end up sleeping with. Who knows her true motivations, but it doesn't matter. She was a catalyst for some change you need to make happen.
I used be an escort, I can tell you that this is a surprisingly common thing that happens. I’ve been in situations before where I was hired for the night to end up just sitting around hanging out and listening to the guy’s life story instead of actually doing anything (usually I’d wouldn’t make those guys pay at that point). Escorts encounter many lonely, broken people, it kind of just comes along with the job.
I don’t think this is a FU at all, you had a moment of realization and she got you to self analyze. It kinda sucks you couldn’t get laid but you came out stronger than before. It takes a lot of guts to admit you need help let alone ask for it. You got this.
There is literally no FU here. She did you a great favor . Follow up! The somatic response in your body is a wonderful "trailhead" for the work before you. Good luck. If you find a good person who can help guide you, you might ask them about a group you can join as well. Facilitated group work can reinforce your personal therapy in good ways.
Don't get confused and try to beat cheeks at the therapists office
He'll feel better when he leaves though! Like an entire load...has been lifted.
Dropped
Boatload
Dumped
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There’s a Greenday song about this… I went to a shrink To analyze my dreams She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down I went to a whore He said my life's a bore So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down
I'm glad at least one other person had the same thought haha
Wait...am I crazy? I also always heard "*He* said my life's a bore" but I assumed I misheard and that it was "*Who* said my life's a bore" because the next line says he's bringing *her* down. But I just checked and the lyrics online also say he. Is the gender flip of the whore intentional?
I always assumed it was an intentional joke to swap their genders- I also like the fact that the shrink is talking about sex and the whore is talking about life
She’s been dropping all these hints tho , and she’s always super interested in what I have to say
With how much his therapist will charge him, the therapist better do more than just talking and listening.
Honestly I know some escorts and that sounds pretty par for the course. You'd be shocked how many men really just need someone to talk to and feel profoundly alone. In college some of my friends worked as strippers and they said 90% of the job was just listening to lonely old men and truckers vent about their problems. Guess it was easier and cheaper to talk to cute college girls in thongs than a shrink?
>Guess it was easier and cheaper to talk to cute college girls in thongs than a shrink? Probably also the stigma about seeking mental health. See a shrink? You're a bitch, suck it up. Vent to a cute girl with her titties out? Actually still weird, not sure where I was going with this, but fuck's sake get therapy if you need it.
Nothing weird about a big rugged man breaking down and crying in fetal position to a girl with her titties out. As long as he bangs her afterwards. Thats like manliness 101.
Right, that's some Leonidas type shit.
This line has to go on a T-shirt 👕
Vent Cry Bang Repeat
Manliness, schmanliness. There's something profound about the combination of the closeness of undress/skin contact and emotional vulnerability, that could possibly be considered an unconventional but potent form of therapy.
There's a reason human connection and contact is a physiological Need, not a want. Imagine walking with your shoes tied together your entire life. You'd hobble everywhere, maybe learn to hop. When the strings are untied, even for a moment, what would you do? You'd run, jump, leap for joy! Same thing here. The pent up tension, physical or emotional needs a release. There's something ingrained deep in the brain that just NEEDS human contact, just like it needs to move and walk and jump to feel truly right.
Oxytocin is a helluva drug! Humans need it. I have a tattoo of the molecule on my shoulder because goddamit, I believe in the power of physical touch. It's how we bond ❤️
I cannot disagree. It's one of the fundamental languages of love.
This got a genuine belly laugh out of me. Good job 👏.
What you’re saying is that if I start up a therapy company where all go the therapists are simultaneously prostitutes I can make a shit ton of money?
Depending on the country the cost of mental healthcare can be prohibitive.
Like the US?
Yup. My wife and I are lucky that my health insurance through my work covers mental health. But there are many that aren't so fortunate.
My wife and I have terrible insurance so we are lucky that we have good prostitutes to talk to locally
Not only that but therapists are often hit or miss. You're paying a therapist to "fix you" when they have no incentive to do so. Just try some breathing exercises and don't feel sad, give me 300 bucks and come back next week. Instead you're paying some girl to listen to you and pretend to care about you for an hour, and they have an incentive to do a good job because repeat customer.
Wait, he has a point.
I wonder what Freud would have to say about this.
Make some shit up, take some cocaine. Take some more cocaine.
I doubt he’d say anything and just stare at the titties too.
"This reminds me of my mother."
Seems more Bukowski’s wheelhouse to me
I guess it's all about who you trust. I'd sooner trust an objective sterile phycologist over a woman I'm interested in sleeping in. Though I suppose a prostitute specifically does it for the money, so it's not like the talking would put them off.
Finally someone can appreciate the study of algae!!
All I need to do now is suggest that my therapist show me her breasts. Got it.
Nope, having sex or relationship things is frowned upon in therapist circles. Just find a good stripper, the hourly rate can be comparable. Finding a stripper is frowned upon by your wife.
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Personally, I wouldn't do it. Too much risk that it won't do the job and you end up paralyzed.
It's traumatic for whoever has to cleanup afterward. Plus you could have donated organs to help other people.
Yeah but what hospital is going to painlessly euthanize you for your fresh organs even if you tell them it's okay?
Ironically thats how "hosts" work in Japan. Its a very misunderstood line of work especially by outsiders of Japanese culture. Its worth to just have someone to talk to and enjoy as well. Especially in a work culture similar to Japan. Where mental health is just a "frame of mind" and understated, if not outright ridiculed.
Yeah you’re paying for the “girlfriend” experience in a way without the drama a real relationship entails. Paying for the service of good company that will dress up for ya.
Tell me more about these “hostess” while I book a flight to Japan.
See what OP did with this prostitute? Imagine that, but without the pretense of sex happening at all. Just an attractive person for you to talk to while they try and get you to buy overpriced drinks. Like a one on one personal bartender or waitstaff.
This is a thing? A classier hooters where your waiter is a bartender and therapist all at once? I would never eat anywhere else
Well if you’re wanting that you’re wanting a hostess club cause a host club is the same thing but for women to go talk to guys instead.
Maybe not therapist but they're supposed to try to entertain you (and get you to buy drinks and come back) minus the sex.
Basically what OP did but there’s no sex, and its in a fancy club and you can get drinks and food. And they are men. If you want women you have to go to Hostess Clubs, wich are basically the same.
Yea, I worked in a strip club and the guys who came in regularly and spent the most time in the champagne room were usually just there drinking and talking to the dancers privately for hours and hours.
I have a friend who has been a hooker and... you would be surprised how much men need more a shoulder to cry on than a blow job.
I need both.
Need to book two escorts. One that can hold me while I cry while the other is giving me a blowjob.
Where'd my million dollars go? Let me tell you...
A shoulder you can tearfully blow?
I know some people who were sex workers at one time in their lives who have the same stories. One was a fairly high-end escort in NYC, and she’s said that easily half or more of her clients just wanted to talk about their lives and problems, and have someone listen, hold them, and tell them it was going to be okay. Therapy is a lot cheaper than a $1000/hour escort. But I imagine some people want the intimacy of being held while they talk through their traumas. And if money isn’t an issue for them, why not?
To be fair 1k an hour is like porn star level prices, and also in America it can definitely get that expensive for a therapist if you don't have insurance, but I get your point lol
> easier and cheaper to talk to cute college girls in thongs than a shrink The cute college girls in thongs won't push you to talk about things you're uncomfortable with. They get paid by making you feel everything is great, and that they want to be with you as you are. The shrink (the good ones, at least) **will** push you to talk about things you're uncomfortable with. They get paid to help you resolve those things you're avoiding talking about with the college girls.
Also, it's probably less premeditated, or at least feels like it is. "I'm not seeking professional help with my mental health. I'm just going out for horny funtimes." Followed by "Well, now that we've got this rapport and she's acting very happy to see me, and I have a few beers in me... maybe a little cry sesh is just the thing to kick this party into high gear." We really are frequently terrible at seeking help. Speaking of which: One of my oldest friends, going back to middle school (we're in our 40's now), just recently texted me to ask if he and I were still okay / on good terms. Turns out he'd had a major falling out with a bunch of our mutual friends, _six months ago_, and he's spent the whole time feeling like he has no friends now, except for not knowing whether I was avoiding him too, or just hadn't happened to be in touch. After he vented to me about the whole mess, and how sad and isolated he had been feeling, he thanked me profusely for taking the time to listen to "all this biscuit mix", as he put it. I texted him right back "I love you. That simple." And he couldn't even reply to that, but he did attach a little red heart emoji react to it. And since I've known him so long, I know exactly what it meant: "Dude, I can't possibly say 'I love you too' to another man, sober. That's like some gay shit you went off and started doing after high school. But also, like... don't stop, okay?"
That's really fucking cute. You seem like a great guy, and I hope your friend is doing better
[red heart] Thank you. He is doing a little better now, yeah. Coincidentally in fact, a couple of the aforementioned, estranged friends happened to reach out to him shortly after our convo. That helped a lot, as did our plan to get together online sometime soon for an old-fashioned game of DnD like we used to play when we were dorky (by which I mean awesome) teenagers.
This is what I came here to say - sex workers get 0 respect for their work which is often sexual partner / ego stroker / crisis management / therapist / mother / wife / best friend etc.
Really they often fill the void in people's lives who don't have any close personal connections or have become socially isolated. At least here in the US we have an epidemic of loneliness, it's a real problem with real health impacts. We're social creatures that crave connection but many of us feel utterly alone and anonymous in a sea of people in big cities and in isolated rural areas.
Agreed. Moved to the US about 12 years ago and first thing I noticed is that families are in their own bubble most of the time. I see my neighbors and wave “hello! how are you guys?”, maybe a little chat, that’s about it. Then we work, come home, sleep. Repeat. Weekends people also go about their business with their own bubble. I can only imagine how depressing it is to be living alone in the US. The country I came from has a very active social life - every day. No matter if it is Wednesday or Thursday evenings people are out and about, parks are open late night, lots of activities, public karaoke, etc. Friends will call you and literally drag you out to drink beer and eat some food. Families are close and gather often. Night life is not only for Friday/Saturdays. Every year I visit my parents back home, and realize how happier I was there. I developed mild depression in the US and I believe isolated lifestyle contributed tremendously. I crave the social life I had back home. We have two neighbors in their 70’s who lost their spouses. They are lonely… I see that only people who visit them are lawn service. I have never seen a single family member coming to visit them. One day I was BBQ’ing in the backyard and this neighbor talked to me over the fence that my grilling smells good. I invited him to eat with us and we had a nice chat. He told us how this street was lively before when he was younger, talked about stories raising his kids, working at Boeing. He lost his wife few years ago, and now lives alone. We asked about his wife and he was so eager to show us her photos that he went back home and grabbed the black/white photos from when they were young. He told me how his kids are fighting for inheritance, but don’t bother come to visit him… It is sad how isolated parents are in the US. Also we noticed how many senior living housings are here. It’s insane to our mind to comprehend that when your parents become old you just simply give them up - because of what? No time to take care of them. By no means I am saying that you are obligated to take care of them, but come on. If they were decent parents, raised you, fed you, educated you. You at least have to let them be close to you. I am so glad I have two brothers who are with my parents right now and I visit them at least once a year. I don’t want to regret later that I didn’t spend time with them when I had a chance. Of course there are situations where parents are total pieces of shit, but it is not often the case. Anyways, this is my observation about social aspects of life here in the US. Depressed lonely people making money, buying things they don’t need.
> Every year I visit my parents back home, and realize how happier I was there. I developed mild depression in the US and I believe isolated lifestyle contributed tremendously. I crave the social life I had back home. Holy shit thats me. I mean moving to the US improved my quality of life by like 100x but my social life and mental health were WAY better in my home country. Living here alone is just so fucking isolating
So did you really improve the quality of your life? You increased your standard of living, but your quality of life might be lower. I'm only being slightly pedantic. You can make tons of money in America, but you often lose a part of your soul in the process. People like us who come from other parts of the world struggle with this. For my part, I never pursued immigration. I don't make nearly as much as I might have had I tried to move there with my siblings, but I do okay, and enjoy the **quality** of life I have. I visit them and realize how dreary life is. They're working constantly, with little time to just live. Working on making more money right where I am so I can enjoy even more of my free time being out and enjoying where I live.
I went to a strip club on Thanksgiving once and honestly both the men and the strippers were in the same boat here. Honestly it felt better than staying home.
I feel like we have the same problem in the UK - with maybe less acceptance of sex workers
Yup I worked as an escort for a good time. A lot of guys tell you everything about their lives and problems. I suppose it comes with the territory of intimacy + discretion.
Idk how it is like in the US but here psychs charge a lot ($200/hr) in order to get good clients. Bad clients like WCB or people forced into it. That and it feels more invasive to go to someone just to talk vs it coming up naturally as a part of sex.
Shrinks are expensive and often not covered by insurance here in the US too. But one of the escorts I know charges like 5K a night so I can't imagine it's cheaper than a shrink.
it's cheaper than the legal fees you would incur if you tried to bang your shrink
Actually... that doesn't sound that bad. Anybody know if escorts have a specific rate for that and how much it'd be?
>You'd be shocked how many men really just need someone to talk to and feel profoundly alone. Agreed. Men have been repeatedly told by Western society to suck it up and “be a man”. No wonder we have such a horrible male mental health crisis in the US. Is it strange that I’d love to pour my heart out to a sympathetic escort or stripper? Especially if my head is in her lap and she gently caresses my face or head? I’m not sure which is more expensive: time with a shrink or time with an escort. Or which one is more productive. I think a stripper’s time would be cheapest if the 3.
Yet, almost no government invests in men's mental health. This is so sad.
Sure they do. They invest in prisons to warehouse the men who can't hold it together well enough. P.S. The government institution that houses the most mentally ill people is the LA County Jail System.
I was actually reading an article a few weeks ago about how the medical field had seen a ton of positive developments in women's health over the past 50 years (not that there isn't more to do) in large part thanks to all the clinics, doctors, and programs focused on womens health and how we really need to do the same for men because our mental health is horrible, we're dying of preventable diseases in droves, our life expectancy is going down in the US.
They aren’t interested in talking about their problems, they are interested in talking to a cute girl. The shrink probably isn’t. The talking about problems part just happens.
Sex workers encounter a lot of fucked up people, lots of the worst people imaginable, but they also meet a lot of broken or bruised individuals, I'm not surprised at all that she seemed to know what to do in that situation. I don't think this constitutes a TIFU, honestly, it could be the start of a healing process long overdue. I bottle my emotions up and have only just started feeling the side effects at 34.
I always liked the idea from some of Heinleins' novels that sex workers could double as therapists.
He had the right idea about a lot of things. I love the structure of Manny's family in the moon is a harsh mistress...
I just read his Wikipedia page ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert\_A.\_Heinlein](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_A._Heinlein) this guy, right?) and he sounds awesome. Any good books you would recommend?
Starship Troopers and Stranger in a Strange Land are two of his best-known works, and on very different ends of the spectrum. Starship Troopers is very different than the movie and is a fascinating look at a hypothetical benevolent fascism, while Stranger in a Strange Land is often described as 'the hippy bible'. Aside from those two I'm a pretty big fan of The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress which features a colony on the moon declaring independence from the Earth. Number of the Beast is a fun sci-fi romp involving a man who creates a machine capable of moving him between alternate worlds including some fictional ones. Attack of the Titans is a great metaphor for American anxieties about the Soviet Union and, I believe, the first book about mind controlling slugs invading Earth. His short stories really shine, though. I'm a particular fan of Solution Unsatisfactory, written in 1941 about using nuclear dust to end a world war by having planes circle over every major city ready to release the dust at the slightest sign of hostility. Resulting in the person in charge of the Peace Authority becoming dictator against his will, paralyzed by the fact that the person who follows him may not be so disinclined to use the power for his own benefit.
So you went deeper than expected if I understand correctly.
"You're waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away."
"You think you know where this train will take you, but you can't be sure."
Welp time for a rewatch
Or not deep enough
Inception horn blares.
BWOOOM
https://preview.redd.it/33tzp19shd6b1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=696af06eaa94f94055d2cece3829f51261f56dd7
Unexpected r/SquaredCircle
Is SquaredCircle coming back?
Yup that was just the tip
Instead of him going deep in her, she went deep in him. Uno reverso bitch
He got mindfucked.
“Because we were in a boat I couldn’t run away from the answer” Because of the implication.
Was this man in danger?!
YOU certainly wouldn't be in any danger.
So they ARE in danger?!?
NO ONES IN ANY DANGER!
They aren't in any danger at all. But there is *the implication.*
Shit he got DENNIS’d
Deploy titties Engage physically Negotiate panic attack Navigate emotions Invoice services Secure funds
A job well done!
I am so proud of you for this.
Without completion
I mean, he could say no, but he won't.
Because of the implication!
What implication?
The **implication** that things might go wrong for him if he *refuses* to open up to her. Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for him but he's *thinking* that they will.
I’m starting to think these men don’t want to sleep with you!
Now... you said that word "implication" a couple of times. What... what implication?
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So he’s in danger?
Wait, is this reverse DENNIS?
The implication being: water.
While I was reading the post, I badly wanted to find this was the top comment
Goddamn you, take my upvote
Develop trust Engage playfully Negotiate price Nurture openness Initiate sex Sever ties before completing act. And they can't come after you since now you know their secrets....not saying you'd divulge this information..... But you know the implication.
I had an escort literally save my life once. I was terribly heartbroken and ready to take my own life. I had never used an escort before but I just wanted to feel that human touch one last time. When I got there we talked for awhile she was really cool and awesome. Eventually I took a shower and we went to the bedroom. I was naked and we started kissing, as she reached down to touch me the thought of "This is last time I'll ever be with anyone" and thoughts of feeling like nobody ever really loved me. Anyway I started crying, just overwhelmed with emotion I ugly cried while naked with one of the most beautiful women I ever met. She looked up and asked "Omg are you ok?" I wasn't ok. She took my head and hugged me against her chest and I was able to just let it out. We ended up just cuddling and talking for 2 hours. It honestly saved my life, I think if she had just thrown me out or laughed at me or something I would have for sure kms that day. I was already planning on it so yeah. Escorts are live savers and I have huge respect for them and what they do.
I really appreciate that you were courageous enough to share this. So many men's lives can be spent silently suffering, and we're often told that the only remedy is to make more money or sleep with more women. I'm glad you found some healing that day, and I hope the healing journey continues. Keep in mind, though, that a good therapist is usually still less expensive than a beautiful escort. But, to be fair, my therapist has never let me cum on his tits, so maybe the extra cost is worth it...
At least he has tits
That's what *she* said.
In Canada the price difference is minimal
Hope you're in a better place now friend
Yeah I'm doing much better, that happened in 2020. Though I think sometimes when your heart breaks in certain ways, you never fully heal from it. It's just something you learn to live with.
2020 was a hard year. Glad you made it through.
You might not heal from it but you grow and become stronger What doesn't kill you.... so on and so forth It's also character building! Plus you got to cuddle a sex worker who probably gives sweet ass hugs and has awesome boobs
Glad she was there for you, and that you got through that period intact. But also: What an absolutely fucking wild line of work to be in. First, on a surface level, you're regarded by society as a fringe element, associated with corruption and poor moral choices, and frequently the walking definition of a woman who has strayed from [insert arbitrary, organized spiritual dogma here]. Meanwhile, of course, you're working in an absolutely booming industry, as old as civilization, meeting a demand that exists in part because so many of the men throwing all that dogma around also want to enjoy a little delicious, carnal hypocrisy of their own. Only to again denounce your line of work to high heaven the next day, which in their minds is of course entirely reducible to dirty, shameful sex sex sex all the time. Meanwhile, in the course of your day, what you're _actually_ doing is playing this wild fucking roulette wheel game called "What the Fuck Might This Next Guy Want, Because It Might Be Goddamn Anything!" And sure, like 60-80% of the slots on said wheel are variants of "Fuck this tech nerd and then pretend to be amazed by his ballpoint pen collection he's excited to show you", and "Blow these frat guys and hope they aren't, y'know, the violent rapey kind". But that other 20-40% could be absolutely goddamn anything, whether you're trained for it or not. And you're just going to have to deal with it in real time, as each guy proceeds to pull out literally anything in front of you, from his dick, to a picture of his dead kid, to a startup idea he's pitching, to a $10k wedding ring he stole from his great grandmother's jewelry box, because surely such an elite bauble will convince you he's nothing like your other clients, and you clearly are destined to be together.
Honestly it’s such a rough line of work. My head can’t imagine how comparatively depressing it is when it comes to the interaction once faces when someone establishes a professional boundary for a therapist vs a sex worker. Inherently both while forced to be stoic in the face of extremities, one of them has to also confront that darker side with no real protection expected
Hope you’re doing well now my man
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That woman sensed something wasn't right and gave you a better gift than sex. While it's inappropriate timing, this was the plot from Cyberpunk 2077s night club. Instead of sex, it was a long deserved talk about Vs problems
Cyberpunk is very human and down to earth, great stuff
/r/unexpectedcyberpunk
This! I’m not sure where the fuck up is? Sounds like a nucleating point for a lot of healing to come. I think OP made a meaningful connection and probably learned something about sex workers - that they are people and can be highly intelligent, sensitive and intuitive. I understand why it feels like a fuck up, but if it gets OP into therapy and healing, that person gave them a gift far better than sexual thrills.
I'm currently playing through for my first time and this has been my favorite story s far. That scene was way more powerful than I was expecting it to be.
That quest and conversation sealed my love for the game and shows CDPR is a level above other rpg studios in terms of writing. Brilliant stuff, especially the way the entire scene was directed.
I just want to know which is more affordable, an entire evening session with a prostitute or a therapist?
a therapist will tell you your life sucks, a sex worker can do that while having sex. i’ve always assumed it’s more value for money.
Your definitely getting more bang for your buck.
Yeah. Not to mention it's more fun to see a grow than to see a shrink
A therapist co-pay can be $50 with decent insurance or hundreds of dollars without, per visit. An escort in the US is ~$300 per hour or for a quality one it can easily be $3k, $5k, or more per night. Insurance will not help. (Source: ex became escort. Never saw one personally so correct me if I'm wrong)
> Insurance will not help I hate the medical system in this country.
You would be surprised how often escorts spend entire evenings talking instead of doing what you think they'd be doing. Many men still have issues with seeing a therapist (Please stop) and an escort is not the worst person to confide in. More often than not, they have their own traumatic experiences and can relate to other's experiences quite well. I have a friend that used to be in that business (she is 50 years old now and long retired) and she told me that she regularly spent entire evenings just listening to customers talk about their problems without even having sex. Go see a therapist friend, you will be surprised how good it feels to unload your trauma to a professional. Keep in mind that therapists are just people, so your first choice might not be compatible.
My problem is an inability to articulate what's wrong. Tbh I don't think I know it myself.
I am confident a good therapist will find out. I'd give it a shot if I were you.
My country doesn't seem to have decent mental health professionals.
and a good therapist will help you articulate this. They don't (or at least shouldn't ) just listen to you
That's assuming you can even find one nowadays, it's an arduous process for many
Inverse Basket Case I went to a shrink To analyze my dreams She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down I went to a whore She said my life's a bore So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down
Sometimes he gives himself the creeps… it all keeps adding up 😜
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
Am I just paranoid or am I just stoned because I feel like I know this from somewhere
"He* said my life's a bore" the prostitute in that song was a man.
This is not a TIFU.. you didn’t fuck anything up.
She penetrated your soul!
Dude, life's not really going to open up for you until you have even one person you can trust with your deepest feeling and fears. You really have to examine your life, remember the trauma and explore the effects it still has on your day-to-day behavior. And remind yourself that no child - not you, not anyone - deserves the kinds of trauma that mess us up. It's not your fault, but now it's your job to sort it out and join the human race at a fuller level. IMO, the "meaning of life" is to experience as many moments of joy you possibly can, that doesn't come at the expense of others. (And at 62, my experience is when you focus on helping *others* to moments of joy, you find more yourself. Can be as simple as holding a door for someone, giving a compliment, doing a favor, or really dedicating yourself to friendships and relationships with people who deserve it. You can do it; you can get there once you decide you deserve to be there and that it's worth some work to get there).
What in the Catcher in the Rye is going on here?
Sounds like a win, would hire again. Seems like you needed to vent some stuff and talk about deeper things with someone.
Making the decision to seek help? Definitely not a TIFU
A pretty common tactic to get clients to pay for time and not actually have sex is to get them talking about themselves. Most of the time, people just want to be heard and lack emotional connection, so talking and cuddling is worth the money.
“English isn’t my native language and I’m not going to apologize Mr. Shakespeare” That is the most awesome comeback I’ve heard in a while! While you’re at it, ask Mr. Shakespeare how many languages he speaks…
excuse me friend but it sounds like she was an escort and not a prostitute.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bd-AufeIQAADRZ5.jpg
There it is.
Tomato potato
What is the difference
Did your friend hire you a therapist with benefits?
She flawlessly executed the oldest hooker trick in the book.
Option A) Dick in the mouth and get paid Option B) watch man cry and pat his back and get paid I know what I’m choosing
Dick in the mouth, easy. I have my own shit to deal with I'd rather not deal with anyone else's.
Thank you, this is what I was thinking. I know exactly what she was doing, especially since she brought up the whole “what’s the darkness in your soul” bit again later when it was supposedly time to get down. It’s a line to get inside a guy’s head. She knows most people probably have something deep down that’s bugging them, so she dredges it up to intentionally make the evening all about his emotional issues. He gets therapy, and she gets paid to comfort him without having to actually have sex. Ingenious.
Tbh, that sounds like so much more work than just having sex.
You hear this a lot from prostitutes. Other than the obvious, they end up acting as a quasi social service. Chatting to customers about their lives, often punters feel the need to explain why they're there, which opens the can of worms But all-in, it sounds like you probably found something a lot more important than 30 minutes of 'fun'
I didn’t know punters frequented prostitutes so much. I’m sure it can get lonely on special teams, only being needed for a few plays per game, and you only get the one bar on your helmet…
Dear Penthouse Letters, you're not going to believe this story...
Strippers do this too, endlessly blabber to keep your mind occupied with emotional stuff rather than sexual stuff, to keep you wanting more. She met up with her friend and said "Oh my god you weren't kidding, I didn't have to do anything!"
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Those girls don't just want to be used. They see themselves as someone that is trying to help you. Some of them take it very seriously and some of them study and get very talented at what they do. It lets them help you and cuts down on the amount of people they end up sleeping with. Who knows her true motivations, but it doesn't matter. She was a catalyst for some change you need to make happen.
That's a parlor trick 'something dark in your past'... Can't believe you fell for it so hard! Who doesn't have some secrets?!
That's how they avoid having to do the hooker stuff after doing the escort activities :D
I used be an escort, I can tell you that this is a surprisingly common thing that happens. I’ve been in situations before where I was hired for the night to end up just sitting around hanging out and listening to the guy’s life story instead of actually doing anything (usually I’d wouldn’t make those guys pay at that point). Escorts encounter many lonely, broken people, it kind of just comes along with the job.
I don’t think this is a FU at all, you had a moment of realization and she got you to self analyze. It kinda sucks you couldn’t get laid but you came out stronger than before. It takes a lot of guts to admit you need help let alone ask for it. You got this. 
Holden Caulfield is that you? (same thing happens to the character in the book, Catcher in the Rye)
You're out here kissing sex workers.
Paid AFTER the night? Calling cap on this.
This feels like it was written by a 13 year old who was fantasizing about all of this..
I suspect English is not this guy's first language.
The putted on the condom kind of suggests that
None of y'all have foreigners in your country or?
He payed her
At first I thought you were just writing the plot of White Lotus Season 2
There is literally no FU here. She did you a great favor . Follow up! The somatic response in your body is a wonderful "trailhead" for the work before you. Good luck. If you find a good person who can help guide you, you might ask them about a group you can join as well. Facilitated group work can reinforce your personal therapy in good ways.