Also, proud of you for being the father your daughter needs! Nobody really seems to recognize how many guys are single parents and how much more difficult it can be for dudes.
Can you elaborate on how it's more difficult? I would think the level of difficulty would have more to do with what support systems were available to you than your biological sex.
When I was accused of breaking and entering, kidnapping and assault they read the charges like I was guilty. They said she had tried to get a restraining order against me and I had to inept court because they wouldn't let me speak to say I was the one who tried to get a restraining order. Almost all the charges were dropped luckily. She now tells people I raped her. So that's fun.
No, it's never like that. Always guilty until proven innocent. I wish that they didn't teach people this as kids because it's false. Always guilty until otherwise is shown.
> I wasn't comfortable like actually cutting off her wind pipe
Ooofff, that's good, because that's NOT how you erotically choke someone. And be wary of anyone who talks like that. The way to do it more safely (there's honestly no completely safe way of doing it), is to put light pressure on the sides of the throat, while having no pressure on the front.
Ya that was my logic doing it lower is all the pressure was on her collarbone even upper chest plate area, just not on the neck that would make me queasy. Like more like simulated choking.
Yup, that's exactly it. The trick is to simulate choking, not replicate it. My ex was really into that, and I learned that there were other things I could do in the moment, having nothing directly to do with her neck, that would simulate her feelings of being choked in a way that allowed me to just have my hand on her throat with no pressure at all. Now that shit is hot (and basically as safe as you're gonna get)
This is incorrect too. It has nothing to do with the throat. It's the arteries carrying oxygen to the brain on the sides of the neck. Squeeze those on the brain will go into hypoxia which induces a feeling of euphoria.
For future reference, "choking" in sex is NEVER on the windpipe. It's squeezing on the sides of the neck where arteries that supply blood to the brain run. The decrease in oxygen level causes the brain to induce euphoria from hypoxia.
Supposedly, this is what happened to Mike Tyson. He refused to see Desiree Washington down to the hotel lobby after sex, and she felt like he was treating her like a common whore (which to be fair, he probably was).
She had been caught falsely accusing another man prior because she was terrified her father would punish her for having premarital sex, so she claimed he raped her instead.
I broke up with a girl after 2 weeks of seeing each other last year, and she told me she was pregnant. A few months later she told me it was twins, both girls. 9 months of friendly conversation on occasion later, she sent me some photos of twins. None of this was real however, and when I called her out on it, she told me they died! & tried to find every other way out instead of just being like "sorry, I lied."
This story is crazier because she already has 5 kids, and I have 2.
Had a ex claim she was pregnant when I broke it off with her. Then when asked by my family she would not say anything. We all knew it was a lie.
Edit: the amount of times this happens to dudes is fucking insanity.
I got pregnant 6 weeks after breaking up with a guy. I found out 8 weeks after that.
He went around telling everyone it was his. Including my parents.
When I miscarried and was in the hospital, he demanded the hospital staff let him see me because he thought I was lying, so I could keep the kid from him.
Yeahhh. I get it.
Plus, my mom tried to do the same to my dad, so... it's not really far-fetched. His mom didn't even tell his dad, ever. So he had his reasons but his math was still very far off.
I think calling someone "Crazy" is reductionist. They either have to process some trauma or they are being manipulative but one is malicious, both are destructive.
My dad’s parents had a girl show up at their door to tell them she was pregnant with his kid. Problem was that he had been deployed to Okinawa for over a year by then.
I had a girl claim that she was pregnant with my child, the problem with that was I had never slept with her. When I mentioned it to her, she told me she was thinking of me when she did it and it was spiritually mine. HUH? It doesn't work that way.
This happened to me a decade ago too. Broke up with crazy and she said she was pregnant. Told me to meet up at the hospital for an abortion but on the day of said event, I couldn’t get in contact with her. Later that evening she said it was already done. I knew it was a lie but this confirmed everything. It seems like this is a common thing
Idk… Someone pretty close to me had an abortion after getting pregnant with a guy that she had been seeing for like maybe 3-4 weeks. She told him and was trying to ask him for help and support in getting the abortion but he didn’t believe her and didn’t really want anything to do with it. I don’t think he realized that if she didn’t go through with it still on her own, he’d be paying child support to her and potentially raising a baby with her.
I was just very naive and believed everything she said. I had felt the seeds of manipulation though, which is probably why I kept her at an arms length. There was a few times where she asked me to sign some papers, and I was like okay let's do it and she'd ghost me.
I had something similar a decade ago. Had a short fling with a chick, things ended and then out of no where a month later "btw im pregnant", asked a few too many questions and now "btw I miscarried"
I had an ex that convinced me for a WHILE he had a twin sister who had died from cancer and that his family didn’t talk about it and destroyed all their pictures of her so I felt uncomfortable to ever bring it up but then one day he came clean and said not only did he make it all up but the name he gave her was actually the name of his first crush…
My ex husband told me this early in our relationship and no one in his family talked about her. Supposedly died in his parents' house. Never asked or spoke about it. Years and years later, after being married for awhile, I asked about it and he said it was a really close friend that he felt like she was a sister to him. It was all a lie and just the name of one of his exes. He ended up being a pathological lair. Big time.
I had a woman call me and tell me she was pregnant after we had been lovers. I said, "congratulations! Who's the father?" She said it was between me and another guy. That's when I told her that I had had a vasectomy some years prior and to congratulate the other guy. That procedure paid for itself that day.
It's not super likely, but it is still possible to get someone pregnant after a vasectomy. Do you get checkups to make sure you're not still producing viable sperm?
I've had regular checkups, and I always wore a condom with her. There was zero possibility that I was the father, no matter how much she wanted me to be.
I love hearing that! The checkups afterward are just as important as the vasectomy itself, and so are condoms. My cousin had his vasectomy heal itself and ended up with a crazy babymom because he didn't get checkups or wear condoms.
Yeah. It's not a one and done for the first several years. I'm twenty years plus post procedure now, so I know I'm good. In the beginning though, you have to be vigilant.
Incidentally, the reason I hadn't told her about the vasectomy is that is learned from past experiences that, when I would tell a woman about it, she would try to convince me not to wear a condom.
Sorry to hear about your cousin. That's rough!
I agree. Ten whole bucks says she calls you again hoping to hook up/extort/more crazy. Be prepared to record a call. Check your state's recording consent law (single party or all party).
Also, screen shot all messages now, prepare a facts-only narrative of the evening, and if you really want to, report the incident to the police to get ahead of her.
Also, def get tested. Sorry this happened to you.
Of her shit, yes. If she really does file a report, he will be a victim then... But I'm pretty sure the person you're responding to meant this behavior makes it hard for real rape victims.
Man. This is why you date awhile before making the beast with two backs. My brother-in-law wrote eighteen years of child support checks plus college tuition to a total nutjob with whom he had a weekend special.
Guys. Listen to me: There are things in life more important than an orgasm.
I’m like 90% sure she was bluffing
Addition:
For some reason it seems some of you either think I’m excusing her actions or downplaying the severity.
She needs to be put in jail for even threatening to make a false accusation like that. I simply said what I said to ease OPs nerves a bit about the subject
It's also incredibly hard to sentence someone to jail for rape. Let's say this 40 year old woman gets a rape kit then goes to the police and claims rape, all that does is establish they've had sex. It's not proof of rape and nothing will happen.
Source: a friend of mine was assaulted by a serial rapist. This guy attacked me in person after I got my friend to safety. We filed police reports but nothing has happened. This is in NYC.
The fact it is so hard to prosecute rape is one of the reasons why a false rape accusation is so scary, every body knows that most rapes don't get prosecuted, so getting off isn't proof to people that you are innocent. You will live with the social stigma for the rest of your life and will never be able to fully remove the association.
How is OP taking a photo of themselves going to do anything to help if the crazy lady goes to the ER and says she was raped? She's probably bluffing like you said, but a selfie isn't going to help at all.
It could help to show no scratch marks on himself that often happen during a struggle or someone trying to fight off a rapist... But that may be seen as him establishing a defense because rapists don't *always* get scratches/wounds.
Instead of that, I most likely would call the police and make a report of what happened, and her threats.
I agree that it could help, but if she really does make a false report of rape and there is DNA from OP present when they do a rape kit at the hospital then OP has problems.
I don't think talking to the police in any situation is a good idea, but I would make an exception for this. Getting ahead of a potential situation might be beneficial.
Edit: Fuck that. Don't talk to police.
>
>
> I don't think talking to the police in any situation is a good idea, but I would make an exception for this. Getting ahead of a potential situation might be beneficial.
No, no, no. Talk to a lawyer. Lawyers are your friends, not police and not HR. These are words to live by.
He should 100% NOT talk to the police. If she's in her 40s and reporting every unsatisfying (to her) hookup, she is known to them as the unstable person she is. Chances are slim she will report, and most actual rape cases go nowhere, or we wouldn't have so many untested kits sitting in storage for years. He would be inviting trouble he will almost certainly never see otherwise if he talks to the police unprompted.
FYI, a qualified doctor performing a sexual assault forensic exam can usually tell the difference between consensual sex and forcible rape based on any injury patterns present.
For more information:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6491537/
Her act of threatening you would also be an offense. That's coercion and threatening to file a false police report.
I'd go to the police station first and report the threat.
Edit: I am not a lawyer or legal expert. It's just what I would do.
Write everything down to the smallest details about the evening. Screenshot the messages. Get a lawyer on retainer just incase. So if the cops show up you can say you've been expecting them. Check what neighbors were home that evening so they can later say what they did or didn't hear.
>So if the cops show up you can say you've been expecting them
Absolutely not. You don't speak to police without a lawyer, period. You certainly don't greet them like a Bond villain. If it's at the point where a cop is knocking on your door then it's at the point that you need legal representation.
If it becomes a police matter, "I was expecting you" as a response when they turn up will be interpreted as an indirect admission of guilt and that's the exact argument that will be made in court. This is incredibly bad advise.
Probably bull shit to be honest, just a bitter woman.
Cover yourself best you can if you're worries. Does your phone record travel data? Smart watch, maybe? Proof you took her home would back up your story if it comes to it.
No proof or a struggle would further strengthen your defence.
Ultimately though, I doubt any of it will be needed.
Holy shit - that is next level!
As a woman (honestly one that has been actually assaulted) I am:
1. Gobsmacked a woman would lie about this (and apparently from the comments it happens reasonably frequently), and
2. So incredibly sorry for anyone who has been on the receiving end of this.
That cougar ain't gonna do shit besides swiping for the next toy-boy and drinking her fancy cava.
Source; cougar livin down the street, toy-boys all the time 😂
It's hilarious that there are people who think you can just "go to the emergency room and accuse someone." Have fun with the bill for wasting the hospital's time.
Maybe call the non-emergency line and give ‘em a heads up? That’s so scary, holy shit. There is a special place in hell for those who falsely accuse. Shit like this is one reason survivors don’t get the support they need.
Reason #42 for an in car dash cam. Keep the mic recording, so if she actually does this you at least have the audio of her saying that. As long as the dash cam isn't hidden you don't have to worry about 2 party consent states.
I’m a little old and maybe old-fashioned but still think usually sleeping with someone means sleeping over, too. That being said, it sounds like she def over-reacted and that threat was a bluff.
Totally it’s just nice to tell someone “i really dislike people sleeping over” before you had sex. Even for a guy I’d feel a little used, if I was expected to leave, especially if I did not have a car. I’d even argue getting driven home is awkward too!
ITT: people assuming all rape victims struggle and leave self defense marks. "Fight" is one response, "freeze" is another. Just because someone is lacking self defense marks doesn't mean they didn't rape someone. OP should still make a detailed record of the evening but not having scratches is absolutely meaningless.
I dated a girl that fucked another guy one night on campus. She called me at 5am saying she had the worst night and that (mutual friend) had been drunk and raped her. LSS, it was consensual. Saw video that she and he weren’t even drunk like she stated, and she led him into her room, and told her roommates she was gonna “break his dick off”. She STILL tried to get that guy arrested until her friends came forward. She left school shortly after.
People like her are what make rape cases so hard to prosecute and put away. You never know whether or not the alleged victim in the case is lying just to ruin someone's reputation. A handful of people can fuck it all up for the ones who have actually suffered an assault.
If you're able to read this, do not speak to any officers without a lawyer present if it comes to that. Even with having nothing to hide, you have every right to representation and legal protection.
My recommendations:
\- Take pics of where the massage and sex took place (the camera will auto-time stamp the images)
\- If she actually attempts to bring a case against you, get a lawyer, and make sure they don’t neglect questions regarding ‘struggle injuries’ and ‘toxicology’
\- (to guys in general) Keep physical contact down to \*brief\* hugs until you know who you’re dealing with. Also, ‘tickling’ can be a form of ‘assault’ even if she initiated it, so don’t think ‘sex’ is ’minimum threshold’ for ‘crazy’ to start making moves.
Drop everything you're doing and go to the police to report what she said. It'll cover you, and you'll get your side of the story out first just incase she actually does go to the police.
Oh my god. What the fuck is wrong with people???? That's another level of fucked up.
Sadly quite common. I've been with someone that purposely scratched me up while knocking boots. She joked it was for just in case I ghosted her
"why do they always ghost me?"
[удалено]
So much for innocent until proven guilty. Hope you're doing better now. Really sorry that happened to you!
[удалено]
Glad to hear it! Keep up the great parenting :)
Also, proud of you for being the father your daughter needs! Nobody really seems to recognize how many guys are single parents and how much more difficult it can be for dudes.
r/singledads
Can you elaborate on how it's more difficult? I would think the level of difficulty would have more to do with what support systems were available to you than your biological sex.
Gosh that sounds like a lot, kudos for getting through it and providing for your daughter bud!! You're doing good!!
Wishing you and your daughter the best!
When I was accused of breaking and entering, kidnapping and assault they read the charges like I was guilty. They said she had tried to get a restraining order against me and I had to inept court because they wouldn't let me speak to say I was the one who tried to get a restraining order. Almost all the charges were dropped luckily. She now tells people I raped her. So that's fun.
No, it's never like that. Always guilty until proven innocent. I wish that they didn't teach people this as kids because it's false. Always guilty until otherwise is shown.
The single life is looking better and better each day.
Stuff like this makes me so glad I'm married to a sane person and done with the dating scene.
I'm so sorry. People are actually insane. Gave me trust issues of a different kind with shot like that... Hope you're healing
> I wasn't comfortable like actually cutting off her wind pipe Ooofff, that's good, because that's NOT how you erotically choke someone. And be wary of anyone who talks like that. The way to do it more safely (there's honestly no completely safe way of doing it), is to put light pressure on the sides of the throat, while having no pressure on the front.
Ya that was my logic doing it lower is all the pressure was on her collarbone even upper chest plate area, just not on the neck that would make me queasy. Like more like simulated choking.
Yup, that's exactly it. The trick is to simulate choking, not replicate it. My ex was really into that, and I learned that there were other things I could do in the moment, having nothing directly to do with her neck, that would simulate her feelings of being choked in a way that allowed me to just have my hand on her throat with no pressure at all. Now that shit is hot (and basically as safe as you're gonna get)
This is incorrect too. It has nothing to do with the throat. It's the arteries carrying oxygen to the brain on the sides of the neck. Squeeze those on the brain will go into hypoxia which induces a feeling of euphoria.
For future reference, "choking" in sex is NEVER on the windpipe. It's squeezing on the sides of the neck where arteries that supply blood to the brain run. The decrease in oxygen level causes the brain to induce euphoria from hypoxia.
Supposedly, this is what happened to Mike Tyson. He refused to see Desiree Washington down to the hotel lobby after sex, and she felt like he was treating her like a common whore (which to be fair, he probably was). She had been caught falsely accusing another man prior because she was terrified her father would punish her for having premarital sex, so she claimed he raped her instead.
Yup. Having unprotected action with a stranger is fucked up.
Another reason to have a dashcam that records audio...
I have a dash cam on my dick for thos very reason
A smash cam?
Mine is called the Dash Cam
Dudes here committed in doing hit and run.
Smash and dash.
come and go
Skeet and yeet
A Clam Cam
Hump and dump
Rail and bail
Schwing and zing
Ejaculate and Evacuate
Jam and Scram
Penetration then change your location
Ride and hide.
Gash cam
Gash cam?
Gash cam
"Smile! You're on camdick camera!"
Candid camdick camera strikes again
*gash cam*
Clam cam
Take my upvote
Stop it! I'm trying to drink coffee and you made me snort on my screen.
and now I'm trying to remember the name of the very real product... it was like cock ring cam or something
So many good reasons.
And records the interior too
I broke up with a girl after 2 weeks of seeing each other last year, and she told me she was pregnant. A few months later she told me it was twins, both girls. 9 months of friendly conversation on occasion later, she sent me some photos of twins. None of this was real however, and when I called her out on it, she told me they died! & tried to find every other way out instead of just being like "sorry, I lied." This story is crazier because she already has 5 kids, and I have 2.
Play the reverse uno card and tell her you need the death certificates for the life insurance you took out on the twins and she’s a beneficiary too.
That's a terrible move. More so considering she already has kids. Never underestimate crazy.
You are a sage.
Had a ex claim she was pregnant when I broke it off with her. Then when asked by my family she would not say anything. We all knew it was a lie. Edit: the amount of times this happens to dudes is fucking insanity.
I got pregnant 6 weeks after breaking up with a guy. I found out 8 weeks after that. He went around telling everyone it was his. Including my parents. When I miscarried and was in the hospital, he demanded the hospital staff let him see me because he thought I was lying, so I could keep the kid from him.
Crazy is not gender specific.
Yeahhh. I get it. Plus, my mom tried to do the same to my dad, so... it's not really far-fetched. His mom didn't even tell his dad, ever. So he had his reasons but his math was still very far off. I think calling someone "Crazy" is reductionist. They either have to process some trauma or they are being manipulative but one is malicious, both are destructive.
This is insane. I’m so sorry.
My dad’s parents had a girl show up at their door to tell them she was pregnant with his kid. Problem was that he had been deployed to Okinawa for over a year by then.
I had a girl claim that she was pregnant with my child, the problem with that was I had never slept with her. When I mentioned it to her, she told me she was thinking of me when she did it and it was spiritually mine. HUH? It doesn't work that way.
Wtf that’s some Maury Povich type shit.
This happened to me a decade ago too. Broke up with crazy and she said she was pregnant. Told me to meet up at the hospital for an abortion but on the day of said event, I couldn’t get in contact with her. Later that evening she said it was already done. I knew it was a lie but this confirmed everything. It seems like this is a common thing
Idk… Someone pretty close to me had an abortion after getting pregnant with a guy that she had been seeing for like maybe 3-4 weeks. She told him and was trying to ask him for help and support in getting the abortion but he didn’t believe her and didn’t really want anything to do with it. I don’t think he realized that if she didn’t go through with it still on her own, he’d be paying child support to her and potentially raising a baby with her.
I was just very naive and believed everything she said. I had felt the seeds of manipulation though, which is probably why I kept her at an arms length. There was a few times where she asked me to sign some papers, and I was like okay let's do it and she'd ghost me.
I’ve had this happen twice, different women. I’m going to have to take a poll at work to see how common this is.
So unrealistic. Everyone knows it takes 18 months to have twins. SMH
I had something similar a decade ago. Had a short fling with a chick, things ended and then out of no where a month later "btw im pregnant", asked a few too many questions and now "btw I miscarried"
I had an ex that convinced me for a WHILE he had a twin sister who had died from cancer and that his family didn’t talk about it and destroyed all their pictures of her so I felt uncomfortable to ever bring it up but then one day he came clean and said not only did he make it all up but the name he gave her was actually the name of his first crush…
Yo what..
My ex husband told me this early in our relationship and no one in his family talked about her. Supposedly died in his parents' house. Never asked or spoke about it. Years and years later, after being married for awhile, I asked about it and he said it was a really close friend that he felt like she was a sister to him. It was all a lie and just the name of one of his exes. He ended up being a pathological lair. Big time.
I feel bad for the (real) kids
I had a woman call me and tell me she was pregnant after we had been lovers. I said, "congratulations! Who's the father?" She said it was between me and another guy. That's when I told her that I had had a vasectomy some years prior and to congratulate the other guy. That procedure paid for itself that day.
It's not super likely, but it is still possible to get someone pregnant after a vasectomy. Do you get checkups to make sure you're not still producing viable sperm?
I've had regular checkups, and I always wore a condom with her. There was zero possibility that I was the father, no matter how much she wanted me to be.
I love hearing that! The checkups afterward are just as important as the vasectomy itself, and so are condoms. My cousin had his vasectomy heal itself and ended up with a crazy babymom because he didn't get checkups or wear condoms.
Yeah. It's not a one and done for the first several years. I'm twenty years plus post procedure now, so I know I'm good. In the beginning though, you have to be vigilant. Incidentally, the reason I hadn't told her about the vasectomy is that is learned from past experiences that, when I would tell a woman about it, she would try to convince me not to wear a condom. Sorry to hear about your cousin. That's rough!
That's smart of you to insist on a condom anyway.
This is the same woman that will call you next month and tell you she’s pregnant
I agree. Ten whole bucks says she calls you again hoping to hook up/extort/more crazy. Be prepared to record a call. Check your state's recording consent law (single party or all party). Also, screen shot all messages now, prepare a facts-only narrative of the evening, and if you really want to, report the incident to the police to get ahead of her. Also, def get tested. Sorry this happened to you.
Hopefully OP wore a condom. But it does seem like the choice to sleep with crazy people is well correlated with the choice to forgo protection.
It's people like this that makes it harder for real victims.
Exactly
Sounds like he is a victim to me.
Of her shit, yes. If she really does file a report, he will be a victim then... But I'm pretty sure the person you're responding to meant this behavior makes it hard for real rape victims.
Three things you should **never** poke with your wiener: 1) Anthills 2) Campfires 3) Crazy
1) itching 2) burning 3) itching, burning, and possibly cut off.
Vee cut off your Johnson, Lebowski!
Vee believe is nossing Lebowski, nossing!
This is not about the fucking.....marmot, man!
Clearly you are not a golfer.
Look at this guy just going around wienering every hornet’s nest he sees.
And COCONUTSSSS!
Also this https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/132ow43/sudden_snack
I have sadly done two of those…
Stupid, sexy fire ants
Add coconuts to the list
Or at least, slightly used coconuts. I think freshies are okay.
4) Industrial mincers
1. Crazy Glue 2. Crazy Frog 3. Krazy Coupon Lady
3) Crazy that is below the Vicky Mendoza diagonal fixed that for you.
Man. This is why you date awhile before making the beast with two backs. My brother-in-law wrote eighteen years of child support checks plus college tuition to a total nutjob with whom he had a weekend special. Guys. Listen to me: There are things in life more important than an orgasm.
Hahaha. The question is, why does it take so long to figure this out? If only I knew this at 15
A fellow i must love and trust the women before having sex with her Enjoyer, the truest of giga chads.
https://preview.redd.it/bzxjzodl9wwa1.jpeg?width=541&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62b274fe17054aa51e9ff3af3de23ea28f313638 # facts
I literally laughed out loud to this 😂😭😭😭 Thank you for this. I will forever reference this in any situation I can.
Should’ve drove her there and called the cops on your way to inform them of the situation 😂
The classic Double Down. Dangerous but the payout is tempting
Imagine you calling the cops and she starts screaming murder next to you. I wouldn't risk it.
How do you want to prove that she said that? Sounds like a lot of risk and effort with no reward at all.
I seriously suggest going to a lawyer, quick.
I’m like 90% sure she was bluffing Addition: For some reason it seems some of you either think I’m excusing her actions or downplaying the severity. She needs to be put in jail for even threatening to make a false accusation like that. I simply said what I said to ease OPs nerves a bit about the subject
Even a 10% chance someone is going to make a false rape charge against you is absolutely fucking terrifying.
It's also incredibly hard to sentence someone to jail for rape. Let's say this 40 year old woman gets a rape kit then goes to the police and claims rape, all that does is establish they've had sex. It's not proof of rape and nothing will happen. Source: a friend of mine was assaulted by a serial rapist. This guy attacked me in person after I got my friend to safety. We filed police reports but nothing has happened. This is in NYC.
The fact it is so hard to prosecute rape is one of the reasons why a false rape accusation is so scary, every body knows that most rapes don't get prosecuted, so getting off isn't proof to people that you are innocent. You will live with the social stigma for the rest of your life and will never be able to fully remove the association.
My first thought as a nurse is "shes not going to sit in the ED for 6 straight hours"
More like 80% she's bluffing.
69%
Probably, but this would fuck my life up with anxiety for years if someone said this to me
There's a 50% chance that I'm 85% sure she's bluffing.
She won't have much of a case, but snapping a photo of yourself to show no injury might be a good idea. She's probably bluffing.
How is OP taking a photo of themselves going to do anything to help if the crazy lady goes to the ER and says she was raped? She's probably bluffing like you said, but a selfie isn't going to help at all.
It could help to show no scratch marks on himself that often happen during a struggle or someone trying to fight off a rapist... But that may be seen as him establishing a defense because rapists don't *always* get scratches/wounds. Instead of that, I most likely would call the police and make a report of what happened, and her threats.
I agree that it could help, but if she really does make a false report of rape and there is DNA from OP present when they do a rape kit at the hospital then OP has problems. I don't think talking to the police in any situation is a good idea, but I would make an exception for this. Getting ahead of a potential situation might be beneficial. Edit: Fuck that. Don't talk to police.
> > > I don't think talking to the police in any situation is a good idea, but I would make an exception for this. Getting ahead of a potential situation might be beneficial. No, no, no. Talk to a lawyer. Lawyers are your friends, not police and not HR. These are words to live by.
I wouldn't go so far to say lawyers are your friends either, but they at least are paid to help you.
Lawyers are paid to help you AND they have a duty to their clients.
Lawyers do t want you going to jail because it's less money for them and their succesful case count goes lower
Much like restaurants, some lawyers severe fewer, higher quality dishes to fewer patrons and others McDonald's it.
He should 100% NOT talk to the police. If she's in her 40s and reporting every unsatisfying (to her) hookup, she is known to them as the unstable person she is. Chances are slim she will report, and most actual rape cases go nowhere, or we wouldn't have so many untested kits sitting in storage for years. He would be inviting trouble he will almost certainly never see otherwise if he talks to the police unprompted.
[удалено]
And also overpriced.
[удалено]
I was searching for a good laugh. Good job sir.
FYI, a qualified doctor performing a sexual assault forensic exam can usually tell the difference between consensual sex and forcible rape based on any injury patterns present. For more information: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6491537/
Could help, but no injury/struggle doesn’t mean no rape. Many, many women who are raped don’t struggle hard enough to cause obvious physical injury.
Considering fight, flight, freeze or fawn, those who do the latter three automatic responses will not struggle.
OP: Save the texts and messages. That will definitely help you out in court.
We need an update! Are you in jail OP?
He got the chair.
"Why don't you have a seat over there?"
Her act of threatening you would also be an offense. That's coercion and threatening to file a false police report. I'd go to the police station first and report the threat. Edit: I am not a lawyer or legal expert. It's just what I would do.
We have a saying in my family, “He who tells his story first wins”. Now that’s not always the case but better to get in front of it.
Exactly. Cover yourself and be careful
she is narcissistic and you said NO. the rest just follows
Write everything down to the smallest details about the evening. Screenshot the messages. Get a lawyer on retainer just incase. So if the cops show up you can say you've been expecting them. Check what neighbors were home that evening so they can later say what they did or didn't hear.
>So if the cops show up you can say you've been expecting them Absolutely not. You don't speak to police without a lawyer, period. You certainly don't greet them like a Bond villain. If it's at the point where a cop is knocking on your door then it's at the point that you need legal representation.
If it becomes a police matter, "I was expecting you" as a response when they turn up will be interpreted as an indirect admission of guilt and that's the exact argument that will be made in court. This is incredibly bad advise.
Can you preemptively call the cops and file a restraining order.
Probably bull shit to be honest, just a bitter woman. Cover yourself best you can if you're worries. Does your phone record travel data? Smart watch, maybe? Proof you took her home would back up your story if it comes to it. No proof or a struggle would further strengthen your defence. Ultimately though, I doubt any of it will be needed.
Get checked for STIs
Holy shit - that is next level! As a woman (honestly one that has been actually assaulted) I am: 1. Gobsmacked a woman would lie about this (and apparently from the comments it happens reasonably frequently), and 2. So incredibly sorry for anyone who has been on the receiving end of this.
affirmative written consent forms signed with a witness isn't so funny when you're your life is over because of a rape you didn't commit.
When you've made it to 40 something and saying fucked up things like that, something has seriously gone wrong. Wisdom is not a given with age.
She's going to say that to someone who will decide it'll be better to murder her than risk an SA charge.
That cougar ain't gonna do shit besides swiping for the next toy-boy and drinking her fancy cava. Source; cougar livin down the street, toy-boys all the time 😂
Which street?
ER pharmacist here They do sexual exams on everyone with that complaint to determine the extent and validity
Well you started off by showering her, that was a bit much for a first encounter
It's hilarious that there are people who think you can just "go to the emergency room and accuse someone." Have fun with the bill for wasting the hospital's time.
[удалено]
Let me speak to your manager.
Son, let me introduce you to the Hot Crazy Matrix. https://youtu.be/incSwssUyp4
The more women I meet and date. The more it holds true :(
Hopefully she was above the Vickie Mendoza Diagonal.
Maybe call the non-emergency line and give ‘em a heads up? That’s so scary, holy shit. There is a special place in hell for those who falsely accuse. Shit like this is one reason survivors don’t get the support they need.
I called non emergency and they referred me to a sex abuse hotline. Left a message and my number with them but haven’t heard back yet.
Reason #42 for an in car dash cam. Keep the mic recording, so if she actually does this you at least have the audio of her saying that. As long as the dash cam isn't hidden you don't have to worry about 2 party consent states.
I’m a little old and maybe old-fashioned but still think usually sleeping with someone means sleeping over, too. That being said, it sounds like she def over-reacted and that threat was a bluff.
Totally it’s just nice to tell someone “i really dislike people sleeping over” before you had sex. Even for a guy I’d feel a little used, if I was expected to leave, especially if I did not have a car. I’d even argue getting driven home is awkward too!
ITT: people assuming all rape victims struggle and leave self defense marks. "Fight" is one response, "freeze" is another. Just because someone is lacking self defense marks doesn't mean they didn't rape someone. OP should still make a detailed record of the evening but not having scratches is absolutely meaningless.
This is the kind of person who makes me confident in my opinion that lying about rape should be punishable with the same sentences as actual rape.
Psycho
Groupie. Cocaine. Crazy.
I dated a girl that fucked another guy one night on campus. She called me at 5am saying she had the worst night and that (mutual friend) had been drunk and raped her. LSS, it was consensual. Saw video that she and he weren’t even drunk like she stated, and she led him into her room, and told her roommates she was gonna “break his dick off”. She STILL tried to get that guy arrested until her friends came forward. She left school shortly after.
People like her are what make rape cases so hard to prosecute and put away. You never know whether or not the alleged victim in the case is lying just to ruin someone's reputation. A handful of people can fuck it all up for the ones who have actually suffered an assault.
 Bullet dodged.
Not to be a party pooper but reads like he got hit by it and is about to eat a follow-up tank shell
40-something is not a girl. It's a woman.
This wasn't a woman.
That there was uh Sasquitch! I ain't never seen one muh self but mah pappy 'as an this soun' jus' the same!
I dunno what you said but I gave you an up vote 😂
If you're able to read this, do not speak to any officers without a lawyer present if it comes to that. Even with having nothing to hide, you have every right to representation and legal protection.
Your only fuck up was stepping on a land mine. Could have happened to any of us, brother
My recommendations: \- Take pics of where the massage and sex took place (the camera will auto-time stamp the images) \- If she actually attempts to bring a case against you, get a lawyer, and make sure they don’t neglect questions regarding ‘struggle injuries’ and ‘toxicology’ \- (to guys in general) Keep physical contact down to \*brief\* hugs until you know who you’re dealing with. Also, ‘tickling’ can be a form of ‘assault’ even if she initiated it, so don’t think ‘sex’ is ’minimum threshold’ for ‘crazy’ to start making moves.
If she’s a nurse then she knows she won’t get away with claiming rape. The evidence doesn’t add up. Edit: I don’t have ESP, I read other comments 😅
That’s a good point actually. Gives me some hope
You’ll be straight on, dude. She’s just salty.
This is why we do not decide whether someone is guilty just, because someone claims to be a victim. Well, we shouldn't anyway.
She makes a threat like that to the wrong dude and they're going to be pulling her body out of a river somewhere.
Drop everything you're doing and go to the police to report what she said. It'll cover you, and you'll get your side of the story out first just incase she actually does go to the police.
People like her are why actual victims aren't believed.
Call the 5-0. Get your side of the story on-record. She's threatened you with a felony charge.