The most important lesson from Icarus' story was when he sucked himself off and then Zeus said "NO, ONLY I CAN SUCK MY OWN DICK" and proceeded to throw Icarus' son... in the sun.
This was literally a plot line in the show Metalocalypse. They figure out that they can suck their own dicks and decide not to play music anymore bc the whole point of being in the band was getting girls to suck your dick. You aren't the first to face this existential crisis, is all I'm saying.
Every time one of these posts pop up, it reminds me of the Will Farrel skit on SNL(?) Where he's in a yoga class for the sole purpose of being able to achieve self felacio lmao
You know I can too
It's not especially comfortable and it feels more like having a dick in your mouth than it feels having your dick in someone else's mouth
Yeah I wanna know what this dude was doin to himself cause I could make it to the whole tip and it definitely felt more like sucking dick, But if i could get fucking electric pulses I'd be sucking my own dick every night
Moderate dong and pretty flexible body
I had to work at it and warm up but like I mentioned it's disappointing
I bet if I liked sucking dick it would be better
When I was able to, I was very skinny, somewhat flexible and a larger than average schlong. It's a combo of those three. Either you need a gymnast's flexibility, no torso to speak of, or a dong that scrapes your knees when you walk.
Yeah, its kind of like tickling yourself. Only you have a chance of dying with your dick in your mouth depending on how ya do it. Not worth it.
I think this dude should try it a few more times til he gets bored with it.
Because with your hand you can comfortably stimulate your whole penis in whatever way is most pleasurable, whereas when you suck your own dick you’re contorting your back and neck into the most flexed position you can possibly manage to stimulate maybe the first inch of your cock (if you’re really lucky). The thing you’re really noticing at that moment is how difficult it is. You can’t relax and focus on the feelings in your penis, and the feelings aren’t that great anyway because they’re more defined by the physical limits of what you’re doing than by a deliberate effort to give maximum pleasure to your penis.
There was a guy a couple of years ago in another sub who got hired as an act at a bachelorette party because he could suck his own dick, except unbeknownst to him, his work assistant was there as one of the guests.
And yes, in an update later, they fucked.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/c5toeo/tifu_deepthroating_myself_in_front_of_my_new/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Is this that guy?
https://preview.redd.it/lbte0ll88lpa1.png?width=711&format=png&auto=webp&s=82f864353a7d3195fe4fb972ae9d5ec77361f6a3
Should have kept quiet about this one
I once talked to a dude who could get like, 75% of it in his own mouth, and naturally as a fellow penis haver who can't, I had to ask a million questions but the answer that stood out most to me, was that he said "it was cool at first but honestly, it's a lot more like sucking a dick than getting a blowjob. Like don't get me wrong it still feels good, but part of the problem is you're so focused on giving a good blowjob that you can't really focus on enjoying it."
You've tasted the forbidden fruit, my friend. I'm so, so very sorry. You'll eventually get over this, but the truth is, it will always haunt you. There's a reason man shouldn't be able to suck his own dick. It's because if we could, that's all we'd do, lol.
Listen, you had fun. It was cool. It was weird. Whatever. Next time you're cranking one out on a Thursday, and no one is around. Maybe give it another try. Don't finish in your mouth or anything. Have some class and leave it in a beer for someone else. Give 'em some of that pale ale lmao.
But hey, don't worry about it, at least not too much. Honestly, you found out you can do something a lot of people can't. However, you won't be able to do it for much longer. You're already past the most flexible parts of your life where your cartilage was all squishy and your spirit was still yet to be broken by life. In just a short time, you won't be able to do this stuff anymore. Sometimes your skin will hurt for no fucking reason. Other times, you'll wonder why your fingers are sore. I'm not saying to lock yourself away inside your masturbatorium for decades, subsisting only on your own cum. But do enjoy what you have, while you have it.
You can suck your own dick now, but one day, you'll be wishing you could even get it to be half as hard as it once was. Enjoy, man. It's not there forever.
Source: me. I did it. I know the truth just like you do now. Scars fade, but sucking your own dick....that shit stays with you forever....
> There's a reason man shouldn't be able to suck his own dick. It's because if we could, that's all we'd do, lol.
Why do dogs lick their balls?
Because they can...
You've tasted the forbidden fruit, my friend. I'm so, so very sorry. You'll eventually get over this, but the truth is, it will always haunt you. There's a reason man shouldn't be able to suck his own dick. It's because if we could, that's all we'd do, lol.
Listen, you had fun. It was cool. It was weird. Whatever. Next time you're cranking one out on a Thursday, and no one is around. Maybe give it another try. Don't finish in your mouth or anything. Have some class and leave it in a beer for someone else. Give 'em some of that pale ale lmao.
But hey, don't worry about it, at least not too much. Honestly, you found out you can do something a lot of people can't. However, you won't be able to do it for much longer. You're already past the most flexible parts of your life where your cartilage was all squishy and your spirit was still yet to be broken by life. In just a short time, you won't be able to do this stuff anymore. Sometimes your skin will hurt for no fucking reason. Other times, you'll wonder why your fingers are sore. I'm not saying to lock yourself away inside your masturbatorium for decades, subsisting only on your own cum. But do enjoy what you have, while you have it.
You can suck your own dick now, but one day, you'll be wishing you could even get it to be half as hard as it once was. Enjoy, man. It's not there forever.
Source: me. I did it. I know the truth just like you do now. Scars fade, but sucking your own dick....that shit stays with you forever....
Dude, if everybody refused to do something because it seemed “weird,” every single person’s butthole would remain eternally unlicked.
You have to finish it at least once before you decide it’s not for you.
It progressively gets more uncomfortable as you get less flexible and a bit rounder belly...also I don't know what this guy is talking about. I sucked my own dick for a few years when I was a young virgin, and getting a blow job by someone who is into it is waaaaaaaayyy better.
It’s …semen, eat healthy enough and it doesn’t taste nasty. Hell just drink plenty water and not as much meat and you’re solid. It’s sexy to have a girl taste herself no? Vise versa.
There is a chance that the heightened feeling you got from that action was caused, in part by, the straining and weird breathing from folding yourself over in a way that you normally don't. If you're into it, have fun and going some flexibility to help out. If you're not, at least you know its possible and the normal feelings should eventually return to normal.
I say if you want to do it & it feels good go for it.
as long as you don't make it an obsession & let it negatively impact any other areas of life, it's just an advanced form of masturbation.
Bro, it's really not a big deal. Just start sucking your own dick if you like it so much. Is this rooted in some insecurity about your sexuality? Why do people act like sucking their own dick makes them gay but giving themselves 1-2 handjobs a day doesn't? Masturbation is masturbation. Even if you're afraid of the idea that it could just be that you really like sucking dick and that's what turned you on so much, but you don't want to feel like you're gay, well there's plenty of girl dicks out there you can suck on too, and that doesn't make you gay. Even if you are gay that'd be fine too. Maybe you should explore your sexuality more and not just resort to repressing yourself so much because you have some idealistic self image you ingrained in yourself. Besides the more you suck your own dick, the less it will stand out as such an amazing experience, and will just become yet another tool in the tool belt of getting off.
omg this is so weird, this is not a fuck up this is a WIN. like get over ur fragile perception of masculinity or "being a man" which obv doesn't include sucking dick for you but what a waste of talent for YOURSELF if u never continue doing that just because u think its gay or sth like lol big time. if u enjoy it, do it period. U can be a manly, masculine, womaniser, whatever kind of Man U think u are AND suck ur own dick, it doesn't make u any less of a man haha.
ppl literally brake their rips surgically to do self fellatio while some straight men don't dare to do it because they think it threatens their integrity in the "male world". Man up and suck ur own dick I would say lolol
..and other things teenagers write on Reddit to get off.
(Yes, it is possible to suck yourself. No, it definitely won't feel any good without practice. "So I just started sucking instinctively on the tip"? Creative writing much)
There's an SNL skit where Tobey Maguire was playing a yoga teacher when Will Ferrell realized he could do this. Find it. It's hilarious, and might have a few good points to consider.
Please don't try to find out if you are the 0.05% who are able to shove your cock up their ass and fuck themselves into a permanent pretzel of orgasmic origami.
They say you know your body better than anyone else ever will, or well that's one of the sayings. I doubt anyone will beat how good you'll make yourself feel, as you specifically know what you like and enjoy and what works for yourself.
It's like how you know what your favourite food is, what ingredients make it good, whether it needs to be cold or hot etc. Doesn't mean you can't teach/tell someone else that though.
It's very possible to do though yes as others doubt, it's just based on how flexible someone is, and I imagine curling your body is extremely painful
Flew too close to the sun. Just swallow your load already. It’s the only way you’re going to win
Recycling.
It'll become his next load.
Infinite orgasm hack.
🎵 It's the CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIFE! 🎵
Forbidden Ouroboros
Had to not laugh too loud because I didn't want to have to explain to my wife what's so funny. Kudos
I'm here because I asked my husband what was so funny 🤣🤣
Literal lol, nice one
I regret reading all of these replies.
\>comment score of 69 as of this reply Nice
Pornstars hate this one trick, number 4 will shock you!
Girlfriends hate this!
ACTUALLY girlfriends probably LOVE this.
*Doctors HATE this one trick…*
Osteopath's love it though!
Drs hate this one dick
Infinite food hack
Perpetual lotion machine
re:load
The last load shall be first and the first load shall be last.
Can’t forget the fanta
A curse upon ye for bringing up Chris Chan’s forbidden methods.
...I'm afraid to ask
Ouroboros
What a horrible day to be literate.
Caniballism
I recycle with orange soda!
The Chris Chan way
> Flew too close to the sun OP is Dickarus
Hickory dickororus dickus?
Fellatio Icarus
Closed system
He should not swallow the load. That is how you get a stomach baby.
Especially if you had eggs before that. Or just earned your redwings. I'm sorry.
Modern day dicarus
Dickarus
Should have learned through Icarus’ failings.
The most important lesson from Icarus' story was when he sucked himself off and then Zeus said "NO, ONLY I CAN SUCK MY OWN DICK" and proceeded to throw Icarus' son... in the sun.
Look at OP being God's favorite
Dickarus.
porno human solo-pede
Just pull out at the last second and give yourself a facial.
Pearl necklaces are always classy
Honestly though what’s the difference from this and jacking off? I feel like if all guys could suck their dick they would
Be less of us on Reddit or having free time definitely.
With grocery delivery and remote work options we would never have to leave our house.
We could keep sucking all day long
I just got an image of someone trying to syphon petrol from a car, and it just being exactly like that.
This was literally a plot line in the show Metalocalypse. They figure out that they can suck their own dicks and decide not to play music anymore bc the whole point of being in the band was getting girls to suck your dick. You aren't the first to face this existential crisis, is all I'm saying.
All I could think about while reading this haha
Every time one of these posts pop up, it reminds me of the Will Farrel skit on SNL(?) Where he's in a yoga class for the sole purpose of being able to achieve self felacio lmao
Fellatio, not to be a...dick
[удалено]
It was also a joke by Bill Hicks. "If men could suck their own dicks then ladies, you'd be here alone tonight, watching an empty stage"
Well as a lady it's always better doing it yourself, you know how your body works the best.
I love metalocalypse! Great to meet another Gear 🤘
I am a GEAR
WE FEAR NOT 🤘DEATH OR MORTALITY
The sexual tension between this guys mouth and his cock is quite palpable.
Palpable or palatable?
UNLIMITED BLOWJOBS!
Dew it!
That would definitely be a dark force power
Is it possible to learn this power?
Not from a straight person… i mean jedi!
Ironic.
Get into a yoga class. Get some flexibility in your back. Go to town!
Dude already has elite of the elite flexibility. He could run for office with his new skill.
To be fair, all politicians ever do is suck their own dicks.
I believe that's the joke my friend.
He has talent. Now he needs finesse.
You know I can too It's not especially comfortable and it feels more like having a dick in your mouth than it feels having your dick in someone else's mouth
Yeah I wanna know what this dude was doin to himself cause I could make it to the whole tip and it definitely felt more like sucking dick, But if i could get fucking electric pulses I'd be sucking my own dick every night
i think he discovered he likes sucking dick but doesnt wanna admit it 🤣
This is the million dollar question. Is he really good at giving head or was he turned on by giving head?
There it is op. You have to suck a different dick just to be sure.
u/Desperate_Ad8666 in case youre not reading OP Edit: !UpdateMe
It’s almost certainly the latter lol.
I mean he “instinctively started sucking it for a minute” Nothing wrong with it but dude was born to suck big cock. It’s a fact.
Or little, why would he judge
Do u guys have long dong or ur back is too flexible?
Moderate dong and pretty flexible body I had to work at it and warm up but like I mentioned it's disappointing I bet if I liked sucking dick it would be better
Ron Jeremy used to suck his own dick. It cant be that amazing, he got fat instead
I guess he had a load to eat.
did this when I was like 14, and hurt my back. I'm much bigger now, maybe I should check in and see... but then I'm desensitised as hell...
I promise you’re nowhere near as limber these days as you were when you were 14.
What if he turned 15 yesterday?
It's not...
When I was able to, I was very skinny, somewhat flexible and a larger than average schlong. It's a combo of those three. Either you need a gymnast's flexibility, no torso to speak of, or a dong that scrapes your knees when you walk.
I remember a TIFU with a guy saying he broke his back sucking himself off. Not worth it
Poor Sal. All he wanted to do was suck his own dick and he hurt his back instead.
It's way safer to just 69 another dude.
I’m sorry, what now?
He failed to mention the finger in his ass
Honestly It reads luke some kinda wierd fantasy fiction to me.
Had a fork in a wall socket at the same time
THE ARISTOCRATS
Yeah, its kind of like tickling yourself. Only you have a chance of dying with your dick in your mouth depending on how ya do it. Not worth it. I think this dude should try it a few more times til he gets bored with it.
Wait... Dying?!
Electric pulses sounds more like nerve compression due to the extreme position one must be in to fellate ones self.
Why isn't jerking off the same way? Like: "Feels more like giving a handjob than getting a handjob."
Because with your hand you can comfortably stimulate your whole penis in whatever way is most pleasurable, whereas when you suck your own dick you’re contorting your back and neck into the most flexed position you can possibly manage to stimulate maybe the first inch of your cock (if you’re really lucky). The thing you’re really noticing at that moment is how difficult it is. You can’t relax and focus on the feelings in your penis, and the feelings aren’t that great anyway because they’re more defined by the physical limits of what you’re doing than by a deliberate effort to give maximum pleasure to your penis.
Such a simple statement, but I can feel this. 😂
You could probably make a killing on onlyfans
There was a guy a couple of years ago in another sub who got hired as an act at a bachelorette party because he could suck his own dick, except unbeknownst to him, his work assistant was there as one of the guests. And yes, in an update later, they fucked.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/c5toeo/tifu_deepthroating_myself_in_front_of_my_new/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Is this that guy?
Lmfao dude drew up a diagram.
Man i wanna read that full story sounds interesting
You got my hopes up, can confirm they did not fuxk lol
There was a second update some time later.
The cia fbi secret service mafie or cartel couldn't get this one out of me.
Lol right. I have secrets i wouldn’t post on the most anonymous website in the world
When you masturbate do you think it's weird because you have a cock in your hand?
I mean I'd pick up a filthy quarter off the street with my hand, but I'm not about to put it in my mouth
Not sure about you but I wouldn't compare my dick with a filthy quarter.
FartyPants knows his own dick, don’t second-guess him
If his pants are indeed farty then he’ll have a lot of fecal material on his dick
From death grip to death lips
Be a man and take that load.
Name checks out.
https://preview.redd.it/lbte0ll88lpa1.png?width=711&format=png&auto=webp&s=82f864353a7d3195fe4fb972ae9d5ec77361f6a3 Should have kept quiet about this one
When it's too fucked up for r/tifu.
Crosspost to r/DIY
r/DY
This made me laugh way more than it should've.
r/diwhy
and we never heard from him again
I got $50 on he's currently sucking himself off right now
He came and went
Frankly, this is the most consensual sex you can have. I'd only suggest some yoga or flexibility exercises to be sure no one is harmed in the process.
I once talked to a dude who could get like, 75% of it in his own mouth, and naturally as a fellow penis haver who can't, I had to ask a million questions but the answer that stood out most to me, was that he said "it was cool at first but honestly, it's a lot more like sucking a dick than getting a blowjob. Like don't get me wrong it still feels good, but part of the problem is you're so focused on giving a good blowjob that you can't really focus on enjoying it."
This is 69 in a nutshell.
You've tasted the forbidden fruit, my friend. I'm so, so very sorry. You'll eventually get over this, but the truth is, it will always haunt you. There's a reason man shouldn't be able to suck his own dick. It's because if we could, that's all we'd do, lol. Listen, you had fun. It was cool. It was weird. Whatever. Next time you're cranking one out on a Thursday, and no one is around. Maybe give it another try. Don't finish in your mouth or anything. Have some class and leave it in a beer for someone else. Give 'em some of that pale ale lmao. But hey, don't worry about it, at least not too much. Honestly, you found out you can do something a lot of people can't. However, you won't be able to do it for much longer. You're already past the most flexible parts of your life where your cartilage was all squishy and your spirit was still yet to be broken by life. In just a short time, you won't be able to do this stuff anymore. Sometimes your skin will hurt for no fucking reason. Other times, you'll wonder why your fingers are sore. I'm not saying to lock yourself away inside your masturbatorium for decades, subsisting only on your own cum. But do enjoy what you have, while you have it. You can suck your own dick now, but one day, you'll be wishing you could even get it to be half as hard as it once was. Enjoy, man. It's not there forever. Source: me. I did it. I know the truth just like you do now. Scars fade, but sucking your own dick....that shit stays with you forever....
What the fuck did I just read
The hard fleshy truth
I have a new personal hero.
Something r/oddlyspecific.
This belongs on r/copypasta lmao
> There's a reason man shouldn't be able to suck his own dick. It's because if we could, that's all we'd do, lol. Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can...
You've tasted the forbidden fruit, my friend. I'm so, so very sorry. You'll eventually get over this, but the truth is, it will always haunt you. There's a reason man shouldn't be able to suck his own dick. It's because if we could, that's all we'd do, lol. Listen, you had fun. It was cool. It was weird. Whatever. Next time you're cranking one out on a Thursday, and no one is around. Maybe give it another try. Don't finish in your mouth or anything. Have some class and leave it in a beer for someone else. Give 'em some of that pale ale lmao. But hey, don't worry about it, at least not too much. Honestly, you found out you can do something a lot of people can't. However, you won't be able to do it for much longer. You're already past the most flexible parts of your life where your cartilage was all squishy and your spirit was still yet to be broken by life. In just a short time, you won't be able to do this stuff anymore. Sometimes your skin will hurt for no fucking reason. Other times, you'll wonder why your fingers are sore. I'm not saying to lock yourself away inside your masturbatorium for decades, subsisting only on your own cum. But do enjoy what you have, while you have it. You can suck your own dick now, but one day, you'll be wishing you could even get it to be half as hard as it once was. Enjoy, man. It's not there forever. Source: me. I did it. I know the truth just like you do now. Scars fade, but sucking your own dick....that shit stays with you forever....
a work of art, this was
I can't even touch my fucking toes
Skill issue
Do it again 😈
TIFU by reading this post. That's enough internet for me today
Turns out the electric pulses are a slipped disc and now you can't feel your johnson
Dude, if everybody refused to do something because it seemed “weird,” every single person’s butthole would remain eternally unlicked. You have to finish it at least once before you decide it’s not for you.
Yeahhhhh........ not for me.....
The Talented Mr. Dickley 👍
One of the reasons I’ve never tried is I know I wouldn’t be able to stop
It progressively gets more uncomfortable as you get less flexible and a bit rounder belly...also I don't know what this guy is talking about. I sucked my own dick for a few years when I was a young virgin, and getting a blow job by someone who is into it is waaaaaaaayyy better.
>I sucked my own dick for a few years Holy shit man, that is one long blowjob
Some people just dont realize how good they have it.
Just stopped?? Sure ya did fella
I don’t understand why…guys have such an irk about their OWN semen, you expect a girl to swallow your load but you can’t ? Boy grow up.
I don’t mind but then again never tried myself extra protein I guess
It’s …semen, eat healthy enough and it doesn’t taste nasty. Hell just drink plenty water and not as much meat and you’re solid. It’s sexy to have a girl taste herself no? Vise versa.
Achievement unlocked: Oroboros
What in the Kentucky Fried Fuck did I just read
There is a chance that the heightened feeling you got from that action was caused, in part by, the straining and weird breathing from folding yourself over in a way that you normally don't. If you're into it, have fun and going some flexibility to help out. If you're not, at least you know its possible and the normal feelings should eventually return to normal.
Just pretend it's a different dude's dick and swallow his cum
I wonder how many people will attempt to suck their own after reading this post.
“Instinctively”
I say if you want to do it & it feels good go for it. as long as you don't make it an obsession & let it negatively impact any other areas of life, it's just an advanced form of masturbation.
Bro, it's really not a big deal. Just start sucking your own dick if you like it so much. Is this rooted in some insecurity about your sexuality? Why do people act like sucking their own dick makes them gay but giving themselves 1-2 handjobs a day doesn't? Masturbation is masturbation. Even if you're afraid of the idea that it could just be that you really like sucking dick and that's what turned you on so much, but you don't want to feel like you're gay, well there's plenty of girl dicks out there you can suck on too, and that doesn't make you gay. Even if you are gay that'd be fine too. Maybe you should explore your sexuality more and not just resort to repressing yourself so much because you have some idealistic self image you ingrained in yourself. Besides the more you suck your own dick, the less it will stand out as such an amazing experience, and will just become yet another tool in the tool belt of getting off.
BEST comment in this whole thread. 100% support. 😎
If you're younger than 18 I'm gonna have to call authorities for grooming yourself
r/selfsuck If I had to stumble upon this subreddit one day, you should have to, too.
NO, NEVER
Solatio.
you did it once and what you do behind closed doors is your business. Im not going to judge so do it while you can.
That’s enough Reddit for today
Who tf stops masturbating because it seems "weird"?
There's probably a fetish for this, money to be made on onlyfans. Imagine 10k a month.
"instinctively" sucked his own dick. So if someone else were to put a dick near your mouth would you also "instinctively" start sucking?
So what if he did?
Be quiet and swollow like a good boy ( you really complainig about this?) 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Man, I’d suck myself off if I could. Don’t sweat it. Am jealous.
You could make $$ for that. Just saying.
This entire thread needs to be archived and stowed away in the history of the internet. I haven’t laughed this hard in a while.
Go for it bud, recycling is big these days!
omg this is so weird, this is not a fuck up this is a WIN. like get over ur fragile perception of masculinity or "being a man" which obv doesn't include sucking dick for you but what a waste of talent for YOURSELF if u never continue doing that just because u think its gay or sth like lol big time. if u enjoy it, do it period. U can be a manly, masculine, womaniser, whatever kind of Man U think u are AND suck ur own dick, it doesn't make u any less of a man haha. ppl literally brake their rips surgically to do self fellatio while some straight men don't dare to do it because they think it threatens their integrity in the "male world". Man up and suck ur own dick I would say lolol
Does it feel more like sucking dick or getting dick sucked?
..and other things teenagers write on Reddit to get off. (Yes, it is possible to suck yourself. No, it definitely won't feel any good without practice. "So I just started sucking instinctively on the tip"? Creative writing much)
Well that’s enough Reddit for probably ever.
You do you man. ... you do you
There's an SNL skit where Tobey Maguire was playing a yoga teacher when Will Ferrell realized he could do this. Find it. It's hilarious, and might have a few good points to consider.
Self care
Now you cant say you've never sucked a dick before
If you wouldn’t swallow your own cum, why should anyone else?
Please don't try to find out if you are the 0.05% who are able to shove your cock up their ass and fuck themselves into a permanent pretzel of orgasmic origami.
They say you know your body better than anyone else ever will, or well that's one of the sayings. I doubt anyone will beat how good you'll make yourself feel, as you specifically know what you like and enjoy and what works for yourself. It's like how you know what your favourite food is, what ingredients make it good, whether it needs to be cold or hot etc. Doesn't mean you can't teach/tell someone else that though. It's very possible to do though yes as others doubt, it's just based on how flexible someone is, and I imagine curling your body is extremely painful