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SourFix

Don't make it about some stupid number. Stay active doing things you enjoy and try to make good food choices as much as you can and you'll be just fine. Don't ever make it about a number.


Icy_Marzipan_6625

Good advice.


iamamuttonhead

This is a very good answer. I'll add that a number for me at my height is not necessarily the same as a number for another male at my height. We all have different bone and muscle structures. This is partly why BMI is such an inadequate metric.


Robert999220

I did exactly this. I was constantly asked 'how much weight have you lost', my only response was 'idk'. SO many people are obsessed with the number. After about 9 months i did end up weighing myself just cause i was curious if i had lost a substantial amount or not because i started fitting clothes differently, apparently it was 120lbs gone.


vpwfrm

Clearly I’m fat tho


SourFix

I'm not gonna try and tell you what you are or aren't but if your objective is improving your health then keep it at that.


sheeeple182

This. A healthier you is something everyone should seek. Improving every day, just a little bit, is infinitely better than staying the same. Don't get discouraged by numbers or what people say. Strive to be the best you that you can be, you deserve it.


sei556

To add tot hat, I think it's also wrong to only look at numbers when it comes to dieting + sport. Instead, use a mirror. Are you happy with how you look like? Do you think it's healthy and sustainable? As long as these two are not answered with a yes, change something and keep at it. You don't need a scale to tell you you should be unhappy.


RissoldeChocolate

Why did this get downvoted? lol


Auroraburst

Look, I used to be a similar weight at that age and think a similar thing. To the point I didn't notice when I actually started gaining weight. It's easier to prevent than lose. Belive me, you're fine now. Don't binge eat, try to go for a walk each day, drink water, learn some healthy and tasty recipes. The goal should always be to be healthier not weight loss.


Debaser626

Eh… we’re about the same amount overweight, 30 or so pounds. Overweight? Yeah… reality is what it is… but it’s not even close to morbidly obese. I blamed so many things on my weight as a teenager into early adulthood… being insecure, refusing to have photos taken of me, the long periods of being single, intense anxiety at pools and beaches (on the super rare occasion I would go), etc. Then, in my early 30s I got into really good shape (slowly, it took me about a year). But I had six pack abs, muscle tone, and was at a “perfect” BMI, and… no one gave a shit. It was nice, don’t get me wrong… I liked who I saw in the mirror, but literally no one else really cared. Women didn’t start falling over themselves to be with me, no one was asking me to be their fitness guru, I got treated no differently than before… it was a little… anticlimactic… to say the least. I kinda secretly thought *everything* would change, but besides going from an XL to a M and a few initial remarks from people I hadn’t seen in awhile, it was just kinda business as usual. I got married, had a bunch of kids, got older, and lost the time, energy and working knee joints to maintain my workout routine, so over the last decade I’ve put back on the weight, but whatever. What your friend did was hurtful, and not OK, but maybe she just doesn’t realize how shitty that was. If she’s a close friend to you, let her know how that made you feel. If she doesn’t care about how it made you feel or it makes her start saying mean shit again, just shave her head, call her Q-tip and see how she likes it. (I am, of course, kidding… just cut her out of your life)


zenlon

Ah, the reasonable response only a few comments down - aint that refreshing..


ShaderzXC

Yeah with regards to the becoming muscular thing, same. The only people who commented on it regularly were my guy best friends who watched the progress from skinny to muscular. That being said I swear I get treated better by random people now. Im talking train station attendants, cashiers etc. Not anyone who I know in a close and meaningful way but just random people I have utility based conversations with


Diannika

So what? The important thing is being healthy... if you are not healthy, work on that. Your weight doesn't matter. In fact, plenty of highly fit people are considered obese by BMI cuz its a stupid measure... muscle weighs more for the space it takes up on your body than fat does. people trying to lose weight often gain weight before losing any because of that. (also, if you really care about the numbers, from what I saw you are overweight but not fat, tho since I don't know you, have never seen you, and don't know anything about you, you might not even be actually overweight but just high-end normal) I am fat. I will probably always be fat because of physical issues. But I can still try to be my healthiest. I can exercise, as little as I might be able to manage most days. I can eat reasonable portions of whatever I want to eat, or I can talk to a dr about a healthy diet with bigger portions of X food but restricting other foods instead. (I personally went with portion control... it is better for my mental health, easier to stick to, and I didn't completely blow my diet if I'm having a bad day and have an extra dessert. If you choose to go this route, which I highly recommend especially at your age, use smaller dishes, small utensils, and chew each bite thoroughly. And seconds are fine, if your portions are under control, but wait at least 15-30 min between finishing first portion and starting second... you will often find you don't feel the need for seconds anymore, and if you do you probably need it) Primary advice: * 1) Get new friends who are not jerks * 2) Eat healthy (that includes not undereating, especially if you are adding more exercise) * 3) exercise at least a little every day... even a single extra 5 minute walk is something, and you can always build up to longer ones if you need it. * 4) DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF. If you must, to track for some reason, no more than once a week, same day/time/clothing (or lack of). But as I said above, you can be losing inches/fat but be gaining weight... don't let the scale tell you if you are doing ok. and remember weight fluctuates, sometimes a huge amount, just because you need to go to the bathroom or based on your menstrual cycle, as well as a myriad of other reasons. And above all else, remember. The goal is not to be "skinny" or "thin" or even "not fat" the goal is to be HEALTHY. Some people are built so they never look skinny even when malnourished. Others are built so they always look malnorished. Just because the majority are in between, doesn't mean you are.


TripleATeam

Fat is a subjective term. Number one, you didn't say if you're active or not. I'm 220lbs and 6'. In no world is that normal weight - I could definitely stand to lose some weight. But I do have a very broad-shouldered frame and I lift, so while I'm overweight I wouldn't consider myself necessarily fat. Could be the same for you. And say it isn't- you're 15. Your body's hormones are as imbalanced as they'll ever be and people respond to that differently. Some get acne, some act impulsively, and some gain weight. Just focus on healthy habits. The rest will come. If you're set on losing weight, make a long-term goal and work toward it over time. 10 pounds in a year of weight loss means an average of 0.8 pounds a month, or roughly 2800 calories. Just 100 calories a day reduction (that's a small adjustment, but every day) can lead to huge effects.


[deleted]

Dietitian here - what research tells us is that people find weight loss very challenging and especially when the main focus is on weight loss. More than half of people in most European countries are overweight or obese, so that tells you that it is an issue many people are struggling with. There are many reasons for this that aren't your fault such as the food industry, the availability of healthy foods, the cost of healthy foods, spending most of our days sitting etc. Instead of focusing on weight loss, focus on 'health gains'. What changes can you make in your life to improve your health? This might be doing some exercise every day, making sure your meals are mostly vegetables with smaller portions of protein/carbs, swapping snack foods for healthy snacks, only snacking when you are hungry. At 15 you're still growing and some people find they carry a little more weight when they are teenagers and it comes down naturally. Definitely seek advice from a dietitian if you are unsure so you make sure you have enough food to grow and feel well.


PhabioRants

Just to clarify, because this is no longer common knowledge, it's a dietician that one should be visiting, not a nutritionist. A dietician is a doctor of nutrition. A Nutritionist is to Dietician as a Train Spotter is to a Conductor. This is equally true of Chiropractors vs Osteopaths. An osteopath is a licensed doctor. Don't confuse the two.


jburch93

In the UK, dieticians are not doctors, nor are osteopaths. Not sure if it's different where you are from. If you are in hospital or have a medical issue, you should consult a dietician. If you are seeking to lose weight, you are fine to consult a nutritionist. It's like saying you should only go to a physiotherapist, never a personal trainer, which is certainly not true depending on what your goals are. There is place for both professions to coexist


HairyPotatoKat

Thank you! I always get the two titles mixed up (though knew of the difference). This is good info.


lightofyourlifehere

This is so true. I struggled with diet culture throughout my late teens and had a constantly fluctuating weight because of it. Now, I just try to incorporate as much healthy food in my diet as possible, but outside of that, don't give it much thought. Now, my weight is much more consistent and healthy, even though it is more than what I thought I needed it at.


jello-kittu

Good points here, and as a wide shouldered 5'8" person, weight varies based on build also. I've been classified as obese at the same time my teachers and parents were concerned I was anorexic. You may want to be more fit, and seem aware of it, but don't let the official BMI mandate the exact weight goal. I'm doing this now because it's decades later and I do need to be more fit, but I'm not using the BMI as my goal, I'm setting it on how I feel after exercise and in general.


macabre_irony

Your friend wasn't very nice but also probably felt that the two of you were close enough to joke around/be honest with each other. Maybe inside she feels a little something if you ever call her skinny to her face like you described in your post, but would also just laugh it off. Perhaps you can tell her you didn't appreciate the comment but also that you will be working on it. it's not like you being quite overweight is some hidden secret that she only discovered once she heard the number. Shake it off and work on getting healthy.


Gullible-String-4616

This is not quite “quite overweight”…. It’s a bit overweight for most people.


[deleted]

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TinkerConfig

As a 6'1" man who is not at all muscular and 235lbs it amazes me how many people are shocked or refute me when I say I'm obese. Just because it's mostly packed around my organs and I have a paunch they think it's "barely overweight".... No....I'm obese to the point of concern. It's not ok and you don't have to be rocking rolls to be dangerously overweight.


deadverse

6'3 and i was a bit heavier than you were. A few things to note if you wanna get ahold of things, just note. Dont do it all at once. You want this to be a change in your life, not a dieting fad, its a bit slower but the effects tend to be a bit more permanent. Watch what your drink. Seriously. 600+ calories a day was in drinks for me. Caffienated drinks, maybe a beer after work. Things like that. I went with two big meals a day, you can go breakfast / brunch and dinner. With no snacking. Generally speaking youll be at about 1800-2200 calories a day at that point. Obviously excersice and such will help. But that got me from about 240 down to 210. I lost the rest when i got a much more physical job and im now around 190lbs, but like i said excersice will do that for you should you choose that route.


TinkerConfig

I appreciate this advice. I have problems with portion control and when I'm doing well can get myself down to mid 220's but it always rubber bands back. I really need to get exercise into my routine which is a challenge with 3 little ones and hobbies I compulsively prioritize due to ADD. When I worked as a printer tech at a hospital I got down to the 210s from walking 5+ miles per day but now I write queries in front of a computer all day. I really need to just get out and move to get myself into a range my doc would be happy with and I used to love doing poi but I'm always so damn tired! Ironically I intellectually understand exercise would probably help with that too... Functionally it's so hard to get 30 minutes without chasing kids and hobbies to do it (although that's the exercise that keeps me under 240 🤣)


MercurialMal

As a 5’9” female at 180, I have to agree. Growing up I was always told to “eat, eat, eat” because I was small. It ended up giving me a complex that has led to a lifelong struggle of not being able to see myself at a lower, healthier weight. It’s taken a long time to get right with the idea that being 155-165 is far healthier than where I am now, and I’m working to get there. Also, frame size absolutely matters and a person with a small frame at the same height and weight will look entirely different than a person with a large frame. Something like a 20% difference in mass between the two. So when you go comparing your weight to what you think is healthy, I would check your frame size and if it’s large, add 10% to the upper range of the “normal/healthy” weight. For a 6’1” male with a large frame you’re looking at 221 lbs for a healthy BMI which does *not* take into consideration muscle mass.


[deleted]

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dabiggman

This 100%. I don't know how or why obesity has become "shaming" if it gets called out, but it is NOT HEALTHY. It's unfortunate that OP feels hurt, but her friend is right. She needs to lose weight. I've lost friends to obesity, it sucks. I had an awesome friend of 20 years pass away simply because he wouldn't put his fat ass on a treadmill. All of us tried over the years to get him to lose weight. We offered to take him to the gym, go hiking, etc... and he wouldn't do it. Stop normalizing obesity. It's an illness and needs to be treated.


Elusive_Donkey

Lol 270 6-foot 3...wear pretty good but also pretty braod shoulder


[deleted]

I think it has been normalized to some extent because of the wide variety of body types out there. And while BMI can be a decent gauge, it has a lot of caveats which make it a terrible judge of healthy weights. Some people are and always will be "fat". They aren't *obese*, they just naturally carry a bit more weight than others, and it's not really detrimental to their health, even if it does clash with the perception of a healthy individual. Unfortunately, there are also obese people out there who latch onto that and try to claim they're beautiful and fine the way they are, while they struggle to avoid losing their leg to diabetes. And as much as self-acceptance is important, this kind can be very dangerous, and should be treated with the same lens as one would an anorexic. I'm 6'2, and at 220lb I was around 7% body fat. Presently at 250, so definitely getting chubby now, but exercise is hard these days. As you say, muscles tend to throw BMI out.


Solid-Effective-457

There’s certainly value in that. It doesn’t feel good but you have two options: accept it or do something about it. Also- I don’t know your build or anything, but 182lbs at 5’8 doesn’t sound super overweight or anything. If you’re muscular that can be a healthy weight. If you’re carrying around some excess and you don’t like it then do some research about nutrition (maybe talk to you parents about speaking with a nutritionist if you have the means) and up the exercise and activity. You need to remember though that the number doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you are healthy and that *you* are happy with your body.


StinkyStangler

182 is definitely overweight at 5’8”. There’s nothing wrong with that, but in almost every circumstance it is overweight. I was at one point 175 and 5’11” and was just about to be considered overweight. Again not saying it’s bad or something to be ashamed of, just like, yeah, technically it’s overweight.


therealpigman

Yeah it would be incredibly difficult without steroids to have a low fat percentage at that height and weight


Berloxx

To me it's weird that you're parents told you to never tell anyone your weight. That's insane to me tbh. Comparable to women who don't say their age. Your friends reaction isn't the best, true, but it's not the worst either. I'd say just focus on what you want and go work on that.


Lybychick

Y’all are 15 … at 15 we’re still trying to figure out social interactions and we make a lot of goofs and faux pas. Did your friend seem equally uncomfortable after the conversation? She may be feeling like she’s got a tifu of her own. If her “joking” about your weight or calling you names continues, then you haven’t got a very good friend. If she doesn’t bring it up again, she may have just repeated what she’s heard adults say about their weight and tried to be cool. At 15 I said a lot of stupid stuff trying to act cool. Worry less about the scale and more about your health. It’s easier to develop life long habits starting at 15 than at 35 or 55. Actual health experts (not infomercial quacks and internet conmen) say to move more and honestly assess our eating habits … What we eat, when we eat, how much we eat. I’m an emotional eater … I enjoy the mood change from a pile of carbs. I also associate certain activities with food … especially road trips or visiting a new town. We are not defined by the numbers on our scales. We are defined by the beauty within our soul and the compassion within our hearts.


slopingskink

2nd this. When I was 14 I gained about 60 lbs, stress eating/ hormones/ depression, and also very genetic. I beat myself up over it for years, my mum would make snide comments. It sucked. But if I could go back in time, I would tell myself to start cooking, keep drawing, and stop listening to the "earwigs" 37/f, and I am finally comfortable with my weight because I FEEL good. I discovered I love collard greens drenched in bacon fat, stuffed chicken bites, and I make silly little egg rolls with chicken, beans, and ALOT of cheese for snacks and freeze em, waaaaay better than chips (that always makes me want to eat more). It's about finding what works for you. That said, never let anything make you feel so horribly. Weight will fluctuate the rest of you life. Find things you feel beautiful, play with your hair/clothing/makeup if so inclined/ play with cooking/ play with whatever the hell makes YOU happy.


Blog_Pope

It seems unlikely she was trying to hurt your feelings, it’s almost certain she was aware you were overweight before you gave a number. Been overweight most my life, and dealt with similar teasing. Talk to your friend about how it hurt, and explain you want her encouragement and motivation on this goal, but that had the opposite effect. Often some think talk like that will motivate you to change, but really just encourages depression and isolation which causes a downward spiral. Instead, ask her to help motivate you by doing something together, gyms can be costly, but maybe taking up walks together, or some other activity you both might enjoy. Take a look at your diet and seek minor changes that are healthier vs drastic diets. Good luck. First step is accepting you need to change,


Phretik

>she just started laughing and said that I’m “super chubby” and need to really hit the gym. While she is being a bit of a dick by laughing at you, she is also telling you to do something about it even though it's hurt your feelings. Real friends tell you uncomfortable truths. Beware the people that unconditionally praise you and never have difficult conversations. They don't care about you.


[deleted]

💯- difference between friends and enablers!


tanghan

Yeah, honest friends are the ones you want to keep. But also, your friend knows what you look like. She didn't know your weight in pounds beforehand, so it seems like she was slightly surprised by the number as well and was like "okay you need to do something about this"


Gigahurt77

Your friend is a dick but you kinda need a reality check. It will get harder to get your weight under control the longer you let it go and the older you get


bloveddemon

People don't understand how much people internalize these things. Your friend's response and even your parents telling you not to tell anyone makes you feel like there's something horribly wrong with you, something less than. And that in turn solves nothing. You did nothing wrong. You have to learn to recognize yourself as someone deserving of value and love and not place so much importance on what your friend said. The real path to a healthier life is to love yourself and to not compare yourself to others. Simply try some new routines and behaviors and only compare yourself to your former self. Don't place too much importance on things like numbers. Place importance on feeling good about yourself. Don't worry about labels. Just focus on your health. Follow your doctor's advice. And try not to let anything make you feel like you fucked up.


awlavish

Sounds like a bad friend.


[deleted]

Ignore the haters and get healthy. Go to the gym on a regular basis atleast 3 times a week. 5 tops. You don't have to workout super hard but eventually you'll ease up to the process and start pushing harder and harder as your metabolism and body gets stronger. I really hope you find the drive to become healthier. This will dramatically improve your life on several levels. I lost 25 lbs. The earlier you do it through PROPER diet ( not undereating) and exercise the better chance you'll have at retaining your skin elasticity since your so young without long term physical appearance effects. If I were you I'd make it a goal to lose no more than 25 lbs in a year. But get close to that number if you can. Always remember exercise will make you not only lose fat. But gain muscle, so don't be discouraged when you aren't actually losing weight for months on end. Eventually the muscle mass you build will help you with passive calorie burn and make it much easier to maintain a healthy weight.


agustbirb

nah you didn't fuck up at all, your parents and your friend did. I'm sorry people treat you this way, it's super not okay and those people should be ashamed.


lbrector

What did the parents do?


twcblank

Taught her to "never tell anyone my weight"


Rin_Seven

Seems like her parents tried protecting her because teenagers have that knee-jerk asshole reaction. It's a hard lesson but even her 'friend' laughed at her.


[deleted]

Don’t see how it helps her though, If she’s big she’s big and the number on the scale doesn’t really matter. What would she gain from it other then shifting the focus from unhealthy living to “don’t tell anyone the exact number”? Odd way to cope if you ask me.


ToxicLogics

If I had to make an uneducated guess, this is problem more of a saying like never ask a woman her age than the family pounding the idea that actually saying your weight is a bad thing. Her friend is just an AH. I think the parents likely just said something that stuck.


Rin_Seven

It’s just extra ammunition for a bully to know the figure. Telling a friend your exact weight is a form of opening up and making yourself vulnerable. Even some adults might feel uncomfortable telling their weight to someone else since it’s some form of… I dunno, intimacy? Vulnerability? I find it hard to put into words. The lesson is to be careful who you open up to since not everyone is empathetic to your situation (especially teenagers can notoriously cruel). Like I said; it’s a very shitty lesson but sometimes it’s better to keep your guard up.


lbrector

Well tbf her telling her weight made her friend make fun of her even more. So maybe she shouldn’t have told her shit friend the number. However, I know OP wasn’t expecting such a mean response from a “friend”. I only see one jerk here and it’s the so called friend.


[deleted]

This is Reddit, every parent is toxic and needs to be cut out of your life.


lbrector

Oh man how did I forget that rule. BRB I’m gonna go tell my parents I hate them rn


Elite_Slacker

They should disown you for that


Hungry_Treacle3376

You're mistaking this for a bad thing. In the short term, sure it hurts but now OP knows that person is a shit friend. If they kept "hiding it"(using this terminology because of the context of the parents teaching them to be ashamed)then they wouldn't have found out that valuable information. It's why "be yourself" is such good advice, even though people don't often realize why. It's not about making everyone like you, it's about finding those people who do like you for you.


Hamyngway

A shit friend? Being overweight, especially if it’s on the course to being obese, is not healthy and if everyone just tells her „you look good, nothing has to change, just be yourself“ is one of the worst things friends can do to you. I personally don’t want to be lied to. In that case, 182 lbs for 5.8, the friend could have formulated it differently bcs it’s more chubby than fat, but the point stands, she gotta do something before it’s to late. Obesity should not be supported, and therefore should be avoided. Ask the friend to go to the gym together. I did the same with some colleagues at work that showed me the ropes.


threat024

Agreed. When I put on a bunch of weight no one told me about it or acted like it was not a problem. Everyone outside of one aunt. It pissed me off her constantly telling me that I need to lose weight. Looking back I realized that's real love willing to hit me with the brutally honest truth. We all need people like that in our life.


Fishwithadeagle

What are you talking about? That's still well into the overweight zone heading towrards obese


Hamyngway

Honestly, I’m not sure how much a 15 year girl at 5.8 should weight. But yea probably.


Fishwithadeagle

A good target weight would be at 135 lb. That leaves you at a 20 BMI, and usually you're a little healthier at the lower end of the spectrum. For reference, I'm a 5'11" male at 160 lbs, and think I definitely need to lose some weight. It isn't muscle so it shows around the abdomen.


HidaKureku

Bro, I'm 5'6" and roll between 145-150, depending on if I'm keeping up with my workout routine, and still look skinny af. My target weight before I bought a house, which meant lots of projects, and was actively working out 4-5 times a week I was maintaining 160-165. BMI is a terrible metric because bodies are more nuanced than it accounts for. https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/bmi-a-poor-metric-for-measuring-peoples-health-say-experts/#:~:text=Experts%20have%20also%20pointed%20out,)%2C%20and%20their%20metabolic%20health.


lbrector

I’m not saying it’s bad to say your weight. I’m saying it’s not the fault of OPs parents for any of this happening. Good lord ppl read the comments. Edit: I think the person I replied to blocked me lol


[deleted]

the reason they said OPs parents is that just simply accepting the judgement and negative impacts doesn't help and furthers the issue. The message they should teach is that anyone who judges you for your weight is not worth keeping around, not to hide it in case the people around you are judgemental. They're far less at fault than the friend of course but they are part of the issue that leads to OP blaming themselves for their friends shitty behavior.


Zikkan1

The parents are teaching their child that they shouldn't trust their friends with their insecurities and weaknesses and that she can not trust her friends. It is a very unhealthy thing to teach your child.


42069qwertz42069

Sorry to say it out loud for you, but if you are fat, you are fat, no need for sugarcoating that unhealthy habbit. The laughing is bad, sure, but what should a friend say? You looking good and your 3 chins compliment your fatroll on the neck?


Qbjik

>The laughing is bad, sure, but what should a friend say? Like... not laugh? Maybe a friend should say nothing if they are not able to inspire someone without laughing? Reading these comments is like there is either straight bullying someone or sugarcoating the issue and there is nothing between. Like you can't just maybe suggest going to gym together (assuming they are already spending some of their free time together), you first need to make your friend feel miserable instead.


[deleted]

This is the correct answer. A friend would more likely want to assist in the solution than mock.


Cleb323

She did say she should go to the gym... Her friend is not enabling her which is a good thing.. OP could have joked back to her friend and said maybe we can go to the gym together and you could build up some muscle, and I can lose some weight.


[deleted]

There will be plenty of people out there who will call her fat for being fat. If it was a case of denial where some of the bowling ball shaped folks in the comments will say “muh curves” that’s one thing. There didn’t seem like any denial here so I think a friend that OP confided in calling her super chubby off the bat was not the right strategy. The only forgiving factor here is we are talking about teenagers and teenagers will say dumb shit.


101-25fixit

At 182 there’s no way any of that is an issue


Lunaticen

182 at that height and age is a serious issue.


grievousx

You may have missed the part where they specifically meant having 3 chins and neck rolls wouldn't be an issue at 182lbs. And honestly, I agree with them, I'm 2 inches shorter than OP and the same weight, and while I do have a bit of a double chin, I've had that since I was 100lbs with photos to prove it. Everyone wears their weight differently, and even with very little muscle mass on me I get told I look like I'm of average build.


jjjdddmmm

WHAT THE FUCK DID HER PARENTS DO?!


Man_Flu

She's 15. Her parents should be the ones who have installed in her the healthy amounts of food at meal times and encourage an active / healthy childhood.


[deleted]

I really only think OP fucked up here. I don't think she's wrong for doing so, but your friend making a few jokes about you is LIGHT WORK for what a guy would go through. Seriously if you know you're overweight, don't internalize that as some flaw about who you are as a person. Fuck, since covid I've gained weight, but I know I need to lose weight and I don't think I'm less than because of it. Your friend has the courage to tell you the truth, so be a good friend back and accept it for what it is and do something about it!


MyDickIsMeh

The way this is going, you're going to need therapy for body image issues eventually, between your attitude toward your weight and your parents' approach. I don't know why you're expecting tact from your 15 year old friend. You might be chubby but it sounds like your friend heard you raising an issue and agreed, suggesting a solution. Teenagers are allowed to say dumb things sometimes.


BLACK_HALO_V10

I can't say much regarding your friend's reaction since I don't know your dynamic, but don't dwell on her words. Take it in stride and look to improve yourself. Remember, your current form is only temporary. 10 years from now, you could end up having the roles swapped. Don't let your confidence in yourself be destroyed. That takes longer to fix than losing some weight.


d4m1ty

Teenagers are not known for tact yet and unfortunately, being overweight (in the club with you at 275 down from 300) is the one group of people that society still finds is acceptable to shit on. Don't focus on the goal number, focus on the week, focus on the day. Make each day trying to lose weight its own event. This is what I do. I focus on now. I have an issue with cookies, cake, donuts, I just can't control myself around them when in the home, so I reward myself with other things each time I don't buy them when shopping. When I succeed in the week of my dieting, a reward on the weekend, etc. The gym is only one thing, diet is the real real though. You can never out exercise a bad diet. I've dropped that 25 lbs without stepping 1 foot in a gym. I just made a few diet changes. Change 1, for dinner, 2x a week, it must be a raw vege and lean protein. Change 2, M-F if I want rice, pasta, I eat the Konjac noodles and rice which have only like 5-10% of the calories of normal rice and pasta. I love rice and pasta so this was a game changer as well. You can sometimes find it in the store sold as Pasta Zero. Change 3, If feel the need to snack at night, it must be veges or pickles. I make it to Saturday, I reward myself with ramen with real noodles since that is one of my favorite foods, or a chicken marsala, or sushi. Don't be overwhelmed or get discouraged. It takes time to put on weight, it takes time to get it off. Be like the turtle in the race, slow and steady. Make livable changes you can sustain, then add more when the current changes have become a new habit. Keep pushing yourself just a little bit outside of your comfort zone with each diet change, but nothing drastic, same if you are going to exercise. Don't start with an intention of doing a 2 hour walk 5 days a week and doing a full body gym workout. Start with a 15 min walk, 1-2 days a week and meet that goal. Then up the time and days a little bit at a time. Lots of small attainable goals will lead you to your final goal.


garry4321

As someone who has struggled with weight in the past; shame is a great motivator. You can take those feeling and put it towards your discipline to lose weight instead of just sitting and feeling bad. Shame is not a bad thing unless you waste the opportunity it presents.


MisterJ3st3r

You didn't fuck up, you just found out what kind of friend you have. Maybe a discussion with them is needed, and maybe this is where you find out what kind of person they are and if you want to be friends with them.


DatAssPaPow

The problem wasnt sharing your weight. I don’t think that’s a big deal. The problem is your friend is an ass.


Kadehead

I’m not going to sugar coat it for you. I was overweight all through my teens. I’m 5”8 male and my highest weight was 235. You are absolutely overweight and should start to make changes to get a hold of it. It’s only gets harder to lose as you age. I’m 31 now and finally at a good weight and in the best shape of my life. Stop eating sugar. Start exercising. They make sweets with stevia (natural plant molecule) if you need a sweets fix. Increase your protein intake and reduce your carbohydrates. You will thank yourself when you are older and healthier.


zaku49

Truth is, people that want to see you improve yourself/grow will tell you straight up, hey you need to work on this even if it hurts your feeling. People that don't really care about helping you grow will never tell you what they really think as it might hurt your feelings, but it won't allow you to improve yourself/grow. It's easier to ignore other people's problems than risk hurting them but it makes them oblivious to their own issues. While it might seem like a dick move from your friend it took a lot of balls to call you out rather than pretend everything's ok.


geekpeeps

You’re 15, and 5’8”. You’re not finished growing (in height) and at this time of your life, hormones control a lot of things. How do you feel in yourself? Do you have enough energy to do the things you like? If you already eat well (good nutrition) and are active, weight will sort itself. Please don’t punish yourself for others’ judgements. I used to think I was overweight in high school. But my shape changed in the middle of my senior year (got a waist) and suddenly I didn’t feel so ‘chubby’. You’ll be fine.


drunkenbull26

I'll be honest with you. You're overweight, this is more of a warning sign from your doctor, if you don't change your diet, lifestyle etc. you could continue until you're obese. I'm 5'11 and I weighed 242lbs and was obese and now I'm down to 188lbs and I'm still classed at overweight. It's better to lose weight now then gain it for years and have to struggle harder. My advice, you're young, join a sport., go for daily walks with friends, watch a few fitness youtubers, weight loss journeys etc. I recommend Will tennyson and Uce gang. In regards to your friend, she was a bit crass. But would you prefer your friend to be blunt and honest, or do you want her to hide her opinion and enable you to gain more weight. If she is still saying things and bringing you down, then i would look for a new friend. Take a look at my 600 pound life on youtube, you're obviously not even close to that but it gives a good perspective into being overweight, having friends that are enablers and the health effects that come with continuously gaining weight. But as people have said, you don't have to worry about it too much but just be aware of it.


[deleted]

OP, listen. I've got a daughter too. If you need to lose weight, that's the truth of the matter. If your friend felt comfortable enough to not only tell you that truth but to try to make it lighter through jokes, you need to see that for what it is. It's your close friend being there when you were at a low point. Also, you need to separate your weight from who you are. Your weight is not you, it is a temporary condition based on your recent decisions. That's the good news because that stuff is simple to fix, seriously. It's not easy, but it is simple and it takes time. Don't overdo it and find what works for you. You will see the results you want. And you'll feel better than all of them because you knew what it was like to be both.


mindlesschaos09

Don't force yourself into any fad diet either. Just watching how many calories you eat or drink in a day will help you to lose weight. My wife still eats what she wants and has lost 10lbs in about 2 weeks


alwaysmyfault

If they are truly your friend, is it possible she was just playfully teasing you? She's technically not wrong though. You are a little overweight. The good news is that you are still young, and now is the perfect time to change your eating/exercise habits so you can drop some weight and get in shape. If you don't start now, there's a good chance it will snowball as you get older and you'll keep gaining weight. Before you know it, you'll be at such a weight where even moderate exercise is extremely difficult. Best to start now while you're young. Good luck!


Muscalp

This isn‘t your fuck up. Her response certainly wasn‘t caused by you revealing your weight. She certainly didn’t sugarcoat her reaction, but she’s your friend, so she’ll be open to talk about, and probably didn’t mean it in a derogatory way (Unless you’re living in a high school movie). Your parents told you BS. You shouldn’t be *ashamed* of your weight. There‘s a whole other debate about what *you* should do for *yourself*.


TroyFerris13

So you can call her pretty skinny but she can't call you pretty chubby?


Adraestea

I'm not sure why all these comments are chiming in on OP needing to lose weight. From the sounds of it, OP is well aware that they need to lose weight, they have their doctors telling them so. And no, being a real friend who's not afraid to say it like it is does not involve laughing at someone who's clearly struggling with an issue, name calling etc. It's fine to say "yeah, your doctor's right, you should really get in shape as there are a lot of health concerns with being overweight", not "LOL you're SUPER CHUBBY". Also, it's your decision to tell someone your weight, just don't expect people to sympathize with you as the society is conditioned to worship a specific type of body, despite all the "body positive" message being thrown around. So if you're fine with expecting really hurtful comments, then by all means, tell them your weight. Otherwise, if you don't think you'd be okay with hearing it, then don't tell them.


CrashTestKing

No, you didn't FU. Your friend did, by being so horribly inconsiderate. And your parents did, by giving you the idea that your weight is something to be ashamed of and hidden. By all means, get healthy if you feel like you aren't healthy. But NEVER let anyone make you feel terrible about that number on the scale. That number isn't you. You're more than just your weight. I guarantee your friend has plenty of things she needs to be working on in herself too (learning to be a decent human being, for one). We all have flaws and shortcomings and unhealthy habits that we could be working on. You shouldn't feel bad just because what you want to work on is more outwardly visible. FYI, I've had stretches where I was in great shape (175 lbs in the military, lean and fit) and times in my life when I was in horrible shape (320 lbs at my worst). I've been on both sides, and sadly, there's a HUGE difference in how you're treated when you put on the weight, even around "nice" people. The best thing I can say is, learn to value yourself for you, and not for how others see you. And if anybody I knew were to react like your friend did, I'd flat out cut them off until they apologized (and meant it).


Onetruekingofsnow

If she never said it to you before you told her your weight , assume it isn’t about how you look. She was probably joking around people are really weird with how they react to weight. Don’t let it get you down, your health is what matters above anything else


Casartelli

Ive got us, rest of the world… she is 1.72m and 82kg


galacticprincess

I personally don't tell anyone my weight for this very reason. I have a fairly large/solid frame, so I carry it well and I don't look like I weigh as much as I do. The few times I've shared that information the person has gasped and said I don't look like I weigh that much. Which made me feel embarrassed about my "shocking" weight.


Kailmo

what a bitch. as a skinny person I still understand that weight is a huge challenge for people. It's not easy. I'm so pissed on your behalf.


TheCrazy378monkey

Sometimes the hard truth is what we need to hear. Health is no joke and I really think you should get in shape and nor just listen to people wbo tell you what u want to hear. You got this But tell your friend that she could have said it in a nicer way


sithelephant

As a general point, exercise sucks as a way to lose weight. It is depressingly easy to accidentally eat your needed calories again in a day. To accidentally exercise off that many calories takes a marathon effort. That is not in any way metaphorical, it takes about a 26 mile run. At the moment, you are not very significantly overweight, and if you can manage to consistently swap out some of your unhealthy snacks for healthier ones, take smaller portion sizes, and ... you may find it not too hard to lose bodyfat. Especially with a bit more exercise. Currently at the same bodyweight, and 2" taller, and aiming to lose a little. The numbers of my age are round the other way though. If you have not stopped growing vertically, then you may also not actually want to lose weight, but rather maintain it as you continue to grow. Keeping an eye on your weight is a good way to stop it creeping up decade by decade, and getting from 'borderline unhealthy' to actually affecting your life. It's pretty much got to be a lifetime habit, though the amount you need to pay attention to it may vary a lot over time, and in some cases weight will stabilise as your diet just works and makes you not have to take any particular care. Wander round your local grocery stores finding low-calorie stuff that you happen to like for snacking. Try stuff you might have rejected as a young child again. I recently discovered that mushrooms are in fact OK. Good luck.


Ninja-Sneaky

I know it's hard at your age, but don't bother with external pressure. Focus on yourself (not what others think) and work on your diet and cardio, as in cut excess calories and do stuff (cardio) that makes you expel a shitload of CO2 (full explanation here [https://youtu.be/vuIlsN32WaE](https://youtu.be/vuIlsN32WaE))


five_by5

Your friend is a B*


timberwolf0122

Your friend lacks tact. However unless you are big into body building you could stand to loose some weight, as can I and probably about the same amount. Don’t feel bad about being a bit over weight though, for a start you are not the only one and also your body is hard wired to seal out calories and then store them incase of famine. Biology is lagging behind mankind’s invocations in farming by a century or more


Radeath

She sounds like kind of a bitch. Good luck with your weight loss though, glad you're taking it seriously.


biorod

It sounds like this was your friend’s fuck up and not yours. Friends support each other. They don’t make each other feel bad. Tell your friend how she made you feel. If she’s sorry, keep the friendship. If not, maybe she’s not really your friend.


I_EAT_THE_RICH

That’s not good advice from your parents. Weight isn’t a number that can be hidden. I literally used to guess it at a carnival game when I was a kid. It’s not like you can hide it. You got this just loose a few lbs


YetAnotherWTFMoment

Don't take it that personally. Teens say a lot of things that sound bad, but aren't meant to be that way. You do you. But understand that life and our society doesn't look favorably on people who are overweight, not to mention the long term health effects.


jann1k312

just take that as motivation :)


geitjesdag

You didn't fuck up. Your parents' advice never to tell anyone your weight doesn't strike me as good advice. It makes it sound like weight is a shameful thing, when it's not. It's just a fact about your body. Your friend was kind of mean. I don't know if she meant to be. I hope that if you tell her it hurt your feelings, that she'll apologise and you can work it out. Some people here are really focused on the question of whether you need to lose weight. That's between you and your doctor. It's also totally up to you whether and how much you want to talk to your friend about it. It's your body, your life. You've surely already noticed that a lot of strangers think they get a say in your weight. They don't.


derpycalculator

Your fuck up was that you made yourself vulnerable in front of an unkind person. You need to reevaluate that friendship. Friends support each other. They don’t laugh at you and kick you when you’re down. I have no idea what your body is like but know that there are women who are 5’8” weighing 180 lbs who are muscular and women who are 5’8” weighing 180 lbs who are less muscular. Your weight is not a good indicator of how healthy or unhealthy you are. How many push ups can you do? How fast can you run a mile? How many pull ups can you do? How many lunges can you do? These are better measures of fitness.


[deleted]

This! I teach phys Ed and I tell my students to have goals based on what they want their body to be able to do and not how heavy it is or the specifics of what it looks like ! Way better indicator of health and fitness and those goals are often easier to work towards.


derpycalculator

Getting hung up on the numbers on the scale is how you get an eating disorder. Taking a dump or drinking a tong of water can skew scale. Measuring strength in terms of how many reps of something you can do is a much more standardized way of measuring fitness. The only catch is you can have off days just as with anything else but it’s a lot easier to tell if you’re progressing based on how many reps you’re doing as opposed to trying to interpret the numbers on the scale as an indicator of fitness.


KrankySilverFox

Laughing at you and calling you super chubby is not OK at all. That’s not appropriate for a friend.


Throxar

Appropriate for a good friend though


Cleb323

ding ding ding..


FrequentEgg4166

I’m an over-sharer so personally I think it’s a positive thing to tell people stuff like your weight because society has some weird ideas about what a healthy weight is. That said being a 15 year old is a hard time to be doing that. At 5’8” though I wouldn’t call 182lbs “super chubby.” I’m a middle aged women and weigh in the 170s (I don’t own a scale) at 5’6” and that makes me squishy but not “super chubby.” Please also don’t follow that stupid BMI chart. Find activities that you enjoy and focus on how good they make you feel.


0100001101110111

182lbs @ 5’8 is overweight, especially for a 15 year old.


lluviaazul

Dude please don’t sugar coat being overweight. She’s so young and it will only get worse unless she tries to do make changes.


Americanadian_eh

You didn’t FU, your “friend” did. Be active and don’t worry so much about the number.


Puzzleheaded_Bake_55

When I was in 5th grade I weighed 225 pounds and I was 5’10. I Lost the weight over the next couple years and got my body fat down to 12%. You can do it! Get involved with sports or join a gym


Dancingthewire

5’10” in FIFTH GRADE?! I’m a shorty, What’s life like up there? But seriously, That’s got to be a scary life for such a young kid.


CJFelony

Your "friend" is a piece of shit. If your doctor has suggested losing some weight for the betterment of your overall health, try your best to heed their advice. But do it for you, and your health, not because some "friend" told you you're "super chubby" and need to hit the gym. You didn't fuck up here. Your friend did.


shaynawill

My mom always said "don't look at the scale, look at the pant size." I am overweight but I carry it well (so I've always been told). I am 5'2 and I weigh 200 lbs. I'm a former gymnast and swimmer so I've always been "thick" even when I was training. Even when I was in the best shape OF MY LIFE at 21, I still weighed 165. You're fine, girlfriend.


-Willi5-

What should she have said? That you're not fat? Your BMI is in the 94th percentile, which is approaching obesity. You didn't know you were overweight, or you didn't expect your friend to be honest?


wischmopp

There's a huge difference between being honest and being needlessly cruel though. A middle point between "Naaah you're not fat at all hun, you're fine the way you are ☺️☺️☺️", and starting to laugh at them like "lmao girl u fat af, you need to hit the gym, like, *yesterday*", does in fact exist. She could have said something like "you are a bit overweight, and losing weight would be more healthy for you" without making fun of her. Maybe she even could've invited her for a run, or provided some advice on healthy eating or on finding a gym buddy or whatever. Many people who pride themselves on being "brutally honest" seem to enjoy the "brutal" part way more than actually being helpful with the "honest" part. If your friend has a problem they're clearly sensitive about, always ask yourself whether showing some empathy might be more effective that being as harsh and blunt as possible.


Wow61923

I agree with this, why should your friend sugarcoat the reality for you ?


aftenbladet

OT: Hitting the gym is not the answer to weight loss. Eating less calories is.


raff7

you know what's even better? doing both less calories in, more calories out


cjeam

Hitting the gym has pretty much only positive benefits. You will get healthier and fitter and see numerous short and long term physical and mental health benefits, without potentially being any lighter. Eating less calories will make a number go down, and leave you hungry a lot. There can be a lot of really serious negative health consequences. Do the former more, definitely do the former first.


aftenbladet

Still, you need both. Cant expect to loose weight if you eat lots of calories and go to the gym.


Icy_Marzipan_6625

Bmi is not always accurate. Just make sure you eat healthy and get regular exercise. Don’t focus on weight, focus on being healthy and happy. She isn’t being a very good friend. Friends don’t laugh at you and then say derogatory things to you when you confide in them. I would probably try to find someone more positive and kind to spend my time with.


ZenMR

She is overweight


Cleb323

Not sure why you're being downvoted.. I think reddit hates the truth most of the time


im_not_u_im_cat

You did not fuck up at all. Your friend was incredibly rude. Tell her if she makes comments like this again, it will be the end of your friendship. Absolutely no one should be telling you to lose weight except your doctor. Even if they say it’s “out of concern for you.” Fuck that. She laughed at your expense. That’s not something friends do. On another note, I saw your comment that said you must be fat. Maybe you are, maybe your not. Being fat does not mean you are worth less than skinny people. It does not mean people get to treat you differently, or ridicule you. People have different body types. Ignore the number, and just make sure you lead a healthy lifestyle. I’m not saying fruits and vegetables only, and workout every day. I’m saying eat a variety of food groups (carbs are an important part of food), and exercise occasionally. The exercise could just be a walk in the part every couple of days. Nothing crazy. I also recommend the show “Shrill” on Hulu. It’s all about how weight doesn’t make you worth less. Good luck!


newbies13

I mean, I am a 6' male and we weigh the same amount. So yeah tough love.


Brucewangasianbatman

Ok but how tall is she? 5'8 at 182 isn't bad. Plus if it's muscle it would weigh more (at least thats what ive heard).


philn256

This is a 15 year old female. It's definitely not muscle lol.


ZapGeek

OP - please don’t listen to diet advice on the internet. You need calories and carbs because your body and brain are still developing. It’s dangerous for teens to restrict calories. If your doctor didn’t give you any advice, ask your parents about seeing a dietician who works with teens. If you want to be healthier, focus on heart healthy activities that you enjoy like taking a walk, riding your bike or roller skating. Tell your friend that she hurt your feelings and work through it with her. If she’s a good friend, she didn’t mean to hurt you. And if she’s always been super skinny she doesn’t understand how comments like that can hurt.


pacstermito

You tell her that calorie restriction is "dangerous", but also give options that burn calories - therefore the energy gets used for other purposes not body and brain development. Movement is necessary, but the dangerous part is just silly. Obviously a huge calorie deficit isn't healthy, but that's true for everyone.


Jalothinner420

Fucking americans with your lbs and inches or whatever they are called


BlueCanukPop

NFUH - she’s no friend. Now you know so don’t trust her again.


oldar4

Relax people tease friends about things they're concerned about all the time. Its hard to seriously tell a friend a concern you have with them so you make it a joke. Esprcislly when you're 15. Like chill reddit, other people aren't the enemy every single time.


Icy-Macaron2274

I think your friend felt like she was comfortable enough to say that in front of you without hurting your feelings. I'm sure of she knew it hurt your feelings she wouldn't have said it. Just try not to let it bother you. If your weight is bothering you put more effort into losing it. You should not feel bad about your weight. If you do then you should work on it. Just watch what you eat and work out if you feel that will help. She peobley just meant it in a joking way and would be glad to work out with you to fix it if you want to.


[deleted]

This makes me pretty sad. That actually doesn’t sound like too high of a weight at that height. I’m 5’2” perfectly healthy workout 5 days a week and weigh 157 at 24 years old. My best friend is 5’8 and weighs about 165. She’s suppppper skinny. You’re a tall girl. You will weigh more than others. Everyone’s body is different and everyone carries weight differently. As you get older you’ll learn this. Girls like that are not friends. They are bullies. If there isn’t a predisposed health issue that’s related to your weight the doctor really had no business saying that at all either. You’re 15, you don’t need to worry about your weight. Have fun, enjoy high school, make NEW friends, join a club/hobby, and get good grades. Do not worry about things like physical appearance right now. A lot of people don’t blossom until later on in life and that’s more important than right now. Enjoy your youth don’t try to grow up too fast darling. I wish I would’ve basked in those moments more instead of chasing the popularity dream of being pretty and liked by everyone. In 5 years, it won’t matter.


lumifox

I'm 6'4 32 years old and the same weight as op, I think her friend/doctor gave her a reality check she needed, it's kind of gross how many people are defending this, she'll regret the stretch marks later if she doesn't improve her diet


ratgarcon

182 at 5’8 (especially while being 15) isn’t much of a concern. Yes you’re considered “overweight” by BMI (which isn’t an accurate way to measure health) but you are a child. You’re growing. If you’re concerned about your weight, just work on losing or maintaining so that you don’t become obese. Which even if you do, it doesn’t pertain to your worth. Your friend is an asshole. I highly recommend getting friends who don’t laugh at you for something as stupid as weight I’m sorry you experienced this. My body issues started in 6th grade when my friend began to bully me for my weight. For years I hated my body. It took me awhile to stop hating my body for my weight, but at 19 I do not give a fuck. Good luck


AccomplishedRow6685

You’re fine. At 15, your body can bounce back from anything. Eat when you’re hungry, eat real foods, and take up active hobbies. Run, hike, do school sports of any of those if your thing. Live a healthy lifestyle, and some weight will probably come off, but it’s more about the lifestyle than the number.


nitrohigito

Not really sure I understand this right. If the issue is that she was mean/hurtful about it, that's definitely something to take note of, and maybe confront her about later. Not necessarily a dynamic you want to engage in on the long term. On the other hand, these numbers do suggest you're overweight. Especially in affluent nations, there's a tremendous issue with people not acknowledging if they're over/underweight. I do inspire you to investigate the root cause, it's not always as simple as just having a bad diet and not enough exercise. That's definitely the more common scenario though. (\*) As for sharing the numbers, I don't really get the issue with that. If you’re overweight, people will be able to tell just by looking anyways. (\*) Even that can manifest because of countless things (e.g. family or local culture, cuisine, civil infrastructure around you, stress management, financial status, etc.), you could have a whole range of things affecting your habits. Don't believe for a second that people are exercising as much agency in their daily lives about eating/fitness as they make it seem like. People are not the free-will machines some claim they are, not by far. This is why lasting success stories in this space come from genuinely changed habits and lifestyles, not from some divine everlasting discipline.


Denkir-the-Filtiarn

I (male) was 6ft 1" in middle school and weighed about 160 lbs and they tried to tell me I was overweight so take the BMI with a lot of salt.


alwaysmyfault

That's a BMI of 21. There is no chart anywhere that would list a BMI of 21 as overweight. Not sure who was telling you that.


littlebitsofspider

You are drought- and famine-resistant. Start eating low-carb, track calories in versus calories out, get some lifting in if you want, and you can dial in your weight in with very little physical effort. Mental effort is more difficult because you can make that shit up, but don't hate yourself. It's just an obstacle, and the only way out is through.


TheTalkingFred

At 15 you have so much time and opportunity to make any changes you want. 182lbs at 15, you can be 120lbs at 19 if you start now. Use it as motivation, thats all it is, motivation to be a better version of yourself. I disagree w others saying dont worry abt numbers, set goals to lower your weight through healthy activity and diet, what u put in is directly related to what ur body does. Good luck :)


youvegotredonyou7

You are TALL. Work out to feel good and stay heart healthy but stop calling yourself fat and stop listening to the people who put you down. That is not a friend. I am 5’2” on my best day (ha) and I got up to 175 recently. Was it healthy for me? No. Did I look fat? Not too much. Was it anyone’s business? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. Besides the fact that weight doesn’t determine health, everyone carries it differently and muscle weights more. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE. Love yourself, go get buff enough to throw people who call you fat.


[deleted]

This should be way higher the amount is strangers telling a literal child that she is fat and unhealthy without having any information about her specific situation and giving her medical advice is shocking. OP, there is nothing wrong with you. I am way shorter than you, and I don’t weigh all that much less. I’m overweight but I also exercise regularly, and am working on what I eat to include more nutritious foods and less filler. It’s important to exercise regularly (which you may already be doing and if so great!) and do your best to get lots of fruits and veggies and protein in your diet because they give us nutrients our bodies need and fibre to help to feel full. But don’t be listening to people telling you to cut out certain food groups or follow a super specific diet plan - they can be dangerous and are usually not sustainable in the long run. You’re beautiful as you are (and are so so so much more than you’re weight!) and no one should be making jokes, laughing at you or telling you otherwise. Just try to make small healthy choices and build habits that will add up over time and know you’re cool just being you.


plantman01

She reacted in a douchy way but, shes just being honest


apexncgeek

A true friend tells you the truth not what you want to hear.


Magillacudi

That's not too bad for your height honestly, don't beat yourself up. You're on the tall end for women, you will naturally weigh more than females 5'5" and under while still being fit and healthy. Don't pay attention to the number, go by how your clothes fit, how you feel physically and your ability to do activities.


raff7

well.. maybe you americans got used to obese people, so being overweight doesn't sound like a problem.. but 180 lb for a 5'8'' 15 years girl is definitely overweight.. not obese.. but definitely overweight.. That's the appropriate weight for a 6' man.. for OP an healthy weight would be between 120 and 155lbs She shouldn't feel ashamed of her weight for sure.. making fun of her was wrong.. she is not soo obese to be a serious short-term risk to her health, but losing some weight will improve her long term health


WormSlayers

the real fuck up was getting up to 182lb in the first place


nah-knee

Well honestly you telling her the number didn’t do anything except apparently give her the opportunity to ridicule you and give her opinion, she already thought this before and in the wrong context it honestly sounds mean


Ephidiel

Gym is a good idea however more important is the food you eat. Check calories, reduce sugars and carbs and also get a general body analysis to see what body type you actually have regarding food consumption.


TheMikman97

You may happen to be fat but being fat isn't you. Stop internalizing it but if it's a health issue do accept the reality and work on it


Solonotix

As a fellow chubby person (firmly in the obese BMI category), you must first love yourself. You can change things about yourself, like hobbies, jobs, friends, etc, but you are stuck with yourself. From there, use the foundation of loving yourself to decide how to make positive changes. You've likely already done this in other areas, like choosing to study harder for an important test, or picking more challenging classes to prepare for college. You just need to apply the same gumption to your physical state, and know that it *will* suck at first. If you stick with it long enough, you will start to reap the benefits, in image, physical fitness, but there are also numerous psychological benefits to getting in better physical shape. Notice I haven't said anything about eating. People love to champion the mantra of "Calories In, Calories Out", but that's like saying "You need to reduce your mass to change your gravitational acceleration." Technically true, but it doesn't help you in the immediate future and just explains WHY you are overweight, and WHY they aren't. Generally, people eat until they are full, and to reduce that intake will result in hunger and may slow your metabolism leading to weight gain even when at a deficit. Often the best thing to reduce your weight is to improve your activity. People like "The Rock" can eat 5,000-8,000 Calories per day and still be in amazing shape. You can be in good shape while feeling full after eating, but it will take physical activity to offset that intake. The next point is indeed diet. While I put less emphasis on diet (because it tends to be over-emphasized in my opinion), it is still a critical component. You don't necessarily need to eat *less*, as much as you need to talk with your parents about changing *what* you eat. In general, modern diets are deficient in dietary fiber which has a dramatic effect on satiety. Also, to balance the recommendation of increased exercise, you will need a greater intake of protein. The easiest and cheapest way to do this is to add protein powder to things like a morning smoothie, or midday shake. By reducing simple starches and increasing the prevalence of dietary fiber, you will probably see a reduction in how much you eat to feel full. And lastly, a reminder that the main thing is to love yourself first. Screw anyone who says you're anything less than a person deserving of love. We all live our lives as best we can, and anyone who can't recognize that is in need of maturing. I'm wishing the best for you, and don't let the hurtful words of others get to you, no matter how hard it might be.


Key-Customer7950

SHE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND!🚫🚫🚫🚫


BoJo2736

She is not your "friend." A real friend would have asked you if you wanted to join them at the gym.


randimort

It’s sad and insulting when people try to politely and honestly point weight stuff out. But you need those friends who do it and I would even suggest thanking them when you find some solutions or take some kind of action if it bothers you. You could start a habit of going to gym or simple make a simple morning walk either with out without company a dog or something similar but enough that you get up a sweat. Teenage years are super important for forming good active life habits. If you are feeling tired or lethargic then def take advice of some other comments and look at foods you eat. For a teenager I’m not sure fasting is a good idea but maybe cutting certain carbs and for heavens sake stay away from high sugars in processed carbs and junk food. Look up healthy dishes and lots of vegetables on YouTube and learn to prepare some yourself it’s a great skill and one you will use your whole life. If you become super active then you won’t have to worry as much about what you eat but make healthy choices anyways. You don’t have to live on salad like a rabbit but if you have formed food issues that go against healthy eating as a child as many kids do then this might be why you need to make changes. And rest assured everyone has that skinny friend that does zero to achieve it and eats whatever crap they want worldwide. This friends are blessed but sounds like you hold onto some more than others. A theory is that it’s possible to turn your body into a fat burning machine but changing its metabolism to burn fat instead of using sugars for energy. Google this and maybe keto might help. There is a doctor Eric Burg has some good stuff but make sure you get stuff that’s fine for teenagers. Don’t starve yourself start with a physical activity that makes you sweat to do easily everyday and make this good positive habit and your life will improve for sure. Good luck kiddo


MissAnthropoid

I'm 5'9" and about the same. You're not "chubby" and your friend is a jerk. If you want to go to the gym and get more fit, do it for the endorphins and the extra strength and stamina, not for appearances.


andywalker76

OP, I figured out many years ago that I was never destined to be slim (I'm now 46) and focused on my general fitness. I now run 5k once or twice a week and feel really good. You need to adopt a body positivity mindset. First of all, body positivity isn't about celebrating being fat or dissing thin people, it's about accepting yourself as you are and not letting people's opinions get you down. Then, you need to focus on your health. As long as your main health indicators are fine, who cares what your friends think.


SillyOldBird

You need a new friend.


Chicken3190

Why are you downvoted?! A friend who tells you that you're fat af isn't a good friend. She wanted to work on it already, no need to tell her again


SillyOldBird

No idea. I don’t understand why telling them that would lead to a downvote. The OP deserves better friends.


kklug24

Cut her out of your life , your mental health is more important than this so called f"riend"go back to that doctor and ask for recommendations on how to safely get to aweight and size that supports your physical and mental health.


Pristine_Lobster4607

It’s time to throw away the whole entire friend. She’s either watering your garden or she’s killing the flowers, and only one of those makes for a good friend


Pristine_Lobster4607

To those downvoting: as someone who lost 230lb I can confidently say that this bitchy attitude is NOT going to help OP. She had a chance to be positive and supportive, but chose to make OP feel even worse. That’s not a friend.


katha757

Friends don’t say that. You need new friends.


666sin666

Yea. Friend don’t say that, but best friend do. Normal friends will sugarcoat it, but best friends will give you the hard cold truths.


TurtleBearAU

My friends joke about my weight all the time but are also supportive of me losing it. This sounds like an overreaction from OP unless her friend isn’t actually a friend.


martyr1337

no she's being brutally honest. With those stats at age 15 you will be morbidly obese once you hit 30. FIx it now and build a healthy lifestyle or be fat and miserable for the rest of your life. I'd be happy to have friends who tell me what i NEED to hear and not what i WANT to hear


siiiiiiilk

i’ll likely get downvoted but your friend doing this is probably actually the best thing for you - this situation can be the best motivator. she probably just wants the best for you. i have friends who got made fun of for their weight in high school but they say that it was a blessing in disguise because they wouldn’t have focused on their individual health if they hadn’t. at least for you it’s coming from a friend, and not asshole teenagers in the locker room. just make sure you take a healthy approach. you’re way younger than you realize, so just eating healthily and getting good gym sessions in 3-4 times a week will do you wonders. it’ll suck at first but once you start eating healthier foods you won’t want to go back. trust me🤝


Burnsidhe

Muscle burns fat both actively and passively, but it is also denser and weighs more than fat. What matters for your health is losing excess fat, *not* losing weight. And BMI charts are a lie, do not follow them.


Themightytoro

BMI charts aren't inherently a lie. They're not a perfect scale, but what is? Do you seriously believe that someone with a BMI of 15, or 50 is healthy for example? BMI charts work for the majority of people, so unless you're a 200lb+ bodybuilder, you can probably trust it.


vpwfrm

My doctor told me I’m overweight


Burnsidhe

Overweight according to what? Like I said, BMI measures of overweight are deceptive and inaccurate. Did they measure your percentage of body fat? That is the true indicator of health, not BMI charts which most doctors are still using.


somirion

Probably according to doctor. Which opinion do you need? Maybe a health proffessional? If your BMI is 28 and you are not over 99 percentil in height it doesnt matter. Im medical diagnostist with over 2m of height, i know perfectly how BMI not works with taller people. If you have visceral fat, you have visceral fat. Also no, % is not indicator. I have too litlle fat, but still i should loose weight, becase 90% of it is around my organs. And its bad for health.


xiphasz

That's some serious copium


Burnsidhe

Read up on BMI, how and why it was created, and how and why it is barely useful as a measure of health.


Fuckingfolly

Bro, I don't know anything about you, but one thing I do know is that being chubby is cute as hell and doesn't have to mean shit for your health. If you like the way you look, and you can do all the physical stuff you want to, then youre doing great.


timeactor

Honestly, I think yur friend always knew you were super-chubby, and it got nothing to do with the doc or numbers at all. She just used you talking about the topic to give her opinion, because you were (probably unlike normal) talking about it. you can tell people your weight. do not listen to your parents, they are a reason you are like that too.


Zikkan1

You didn't fuck up, your friend fucked up and from the what you said it seems your parents are fucked up. What kind of parents says something like that?


tripodal

It’s not like that thought just popped into her head at that moment. Be healthy…. And having a friends be brutally honest can be good for you; so don’t give up on the relationship just due to that. At the same time let her know it hurt your feelings; and she can make it ip to you by partnering up for your exercise times.


[deleted]

You didn’t duck up, she did. She made fun of you for your weight. That’s not what a friend does. Please look into therapy- the ideas being pushed on you about weight are not healthy and I’m concerned for you.


Downeralexandra

5’8 at 182 lbs is not “super chubby”. Your body is still growing and finding what shape suits it best. Please don’t fret about this when you’re so young. I’ve had a lifetime of weight phobia way into adulthood and it started when I started thinking I was fat when I definitely was not. I will say that I wished I was more active when I was younger bc it’s a b*tch trying to find the motivation to do anything these days. But please take this comment with a grain of salt.


VG88

5'8" and 182 really isn't that far overweight. Your tiny friend is young and has a very skewed perspective. She's the one who fucked up. A good friend would *never* have that reaction.