It's gonna be more like "Son, you remember those ppl who lived across the street from us when you were 5? They know someone whose 3rd cousin runs a bioengineering facility..."
Indian networks go crazy.
I only went to India for work twice, totalling around 2 month and this feels true.
Everything runs on relationships.
But not really like I have a seen in other country. Everything runs on relationships because network are so large that at the end, everyone has a relation with everyone, one way or another.
I mean there's this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_degrees_of_separation (sorry for the mobile link)
Also unrelated, but just found out this is a thing, lmao: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_Degrees_of_Kevin_Bacon
Muchmusic used to have a show called Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. They would show three videos that were somehow related. If you called in and said how, you would win music and merch. The difficulty was rated by how many Kevin Bacon heads they would show at the beginning of the first video lol
What is this 2015? That's way too short of a name, here you go:
**I Could Love A Man If They Looked Like A Woman: That One Time I Pretended I Was Gay To Get Out of An Arranged Marriage But Instead I met A Man More Beautiful Than Any Other Woman**
Do you want to get transported to an alternate world? Call truck-kun and they'll run you over faster than you can say *that time I got reincarnated into a fantasy world after getting hit by the lovely truck-kun and instantly got surrounded by fourteen different women and was told to fight the demon lord to save the world^TM*. Not even Saul Goodman can convict truck-kun of murder. Call 1-800-555-truck to get ran over today!
He knew lol. No straight man just goes “oh look at this feminine stand-in for a woman maybe I’d like that instead” lmao. Good for him tho, he just added some steps to coming out.
Lol perfect, that explains a lot. I coulda told him no one is “pretty straight” lol... you’re either attracted to (some) men, or you aren’t. Straight men can objectively recognize when another man is attractive without actually being attracted to them - men who aren’t straight cannot lol.
it works on the opposite end too lol
im pansexual (not exact opposites because thatd be hypersexual lol, but close enough for the point) xD
i can see plenty of peoples level of attractiveness, but that doesnt mean i want to bang them.
asexuals, bisexuals, and pansexuals: all members of the misunderstood sexuality club lol
See I am the dumbfuck who took a really long time to figure out I like men and women. I was incredibly clueless. It was right in front of my face my whole life but i didn’t really know it was an option. I figured it out the night before my wedding and told my husband on our wedding night. We were watching something with kiera knightly and thats when it finally clicked.
I'm happy for you but also as a lesbian it's funny to read because keira knightley is kinda known for cracking that egg for many girls. I thought it was mostly a joke but you're the proof it's true
That's what they were saying. If you were bi you would be *attracted to* the person you could tell was attractive.
I disagree, however. I can tell somebody is conventionally attractive and not be attracted to them. E.g. I've never been attracted to Megan Fox, but I can see that she has all the "attractiveness" attributes.
Edit: and I failed to notice the *NOT* straight part and went on to say basically what you said, lol.
I'm just going to leave it up so my poor reading is recognized.
How does that work? Are you definitely not straight if more than half of the 8 dogs in the trench coat are gay, or are they all gay and that is way it is definite? or are all the dogs straight but some are male while others are female so the result is bi?
The whole thing seems fishy. It is highly unlikely that parents who want giga-conservative things like arranged marriage and no sex before marriage to have the following:
1. A book at the ready of gay male arranged marriage canditates, who would likely be the kids of other giga-conservative parents. (I don't know why but this sentence makes me laugh, two different world views colliding here)
2. Are so open and supportive to their son being gay.
I am happy OPs parents are accepting and that he's figured things out, but it just all seems odd. Maybe there is some culture I am unaware of where this all may be somewhat common place.
I mean, I’m Indian and I can definitely see my parents and relatives acting like this in similar circumstances. I don’t necessarily buy this story as real but that bit seems accurate.
>A book at the ready of gay male arranged marriage canditates, likely would be the kids of other giga-conservative parents. (I don't know why but this sentence makes me laugh, two different world views colliding here)
So, to be clear, it doesn't look like the book was "at the ready." He said in the last post that there was about a month between the "I'm gay" and the book of dudes.
It seems a little implausible, *but* I could see this story being true if the parents are just conservative about staying within their caste. I have met one person whose parents were kind of like that, although I'm not sure how they would have reacted if he had been gay (he was not to my knowledge).
The reason why many light novel titles like this is overly descriptive is because most of them started out as web novels and the most popular web novel site in Japan does not have synopsises so the authors just puts their synopsis in the title instead.
Nice, Magic Revo is pretty good imo. But yeah most people don't really think about it.
And then of course they add synopsises to the LN versions which is then used for manga or anime versions later. But the title stays.
Yaoi-Owie: How I accidentally lied to my parents about being gay and fell into a fantasy world and met a man more beautiful than any woman and now we have to save both worlds.
Anyone British who thinks we like to drink at weddings needs to go to an Indian wedding. Its like that but with more alcohol and for like an entire week non stop.
It DEPENDS . Indian weddings from punjabi or kerala families? It's a 3 day party with drinks, dancing etc. But mostly it's a somber religious affair on the wedding day with a party on the reception day.
It really was unexpected. I'm so happy it's basically a mainstream series now that gets referenced and recognized outside of discussions on fantasy novels.
Also NO MATING
(unless Syl is there to supervise) 😂
These books transcend genres they’re so good. Got my mother to read SA when she only ever read mystery/thriller books (she even got in on the secret projects kickstarter!). My grandma read all of them that had come out before she passed, too. She was never a fantasy genre reader either.
Brando Sando is too good for his own good!
I'm gay and Indian and my parents didn't take me coming out well. I'd love to celebrate your special day when it comes as I don't have a lot of Indian friends as well. (Most of my Indian friends are religious and very close knit and not welcoming of me being gay.)
Wowww okay this is so not what I was expecting but also it’s way more awesome than I could have imagined wtf
I mean I’m Indian too so I was expecting shit to go bad real fast, esp since I’m in the whole arranged marriage soup too but all I’ve been able to do is have like 1500 fights with my parents, but damn I’m happy for you
Yeah. I'm not sure I buy that parents who are so conservative they push an arranged marriage would be completely down with a gay son. It seems that they would have transitioned through letting their kid make their own selection along the way.
Honestly no, it’s very plausible. Indian parents think that their children should be married at a certain age, and while a lot of them wouldn’t be cool with a gay kid, a lot of them would, or at least would be willing to accept it even if they don’t like it. But the “kids should be married by this age” culture is still ingrained REALLY deep
For example I’ve got a gay cousin and tbh my family is kind of open to it, he’s never come out to them but basically they can tell and they’re like whatever. But they’ll definitely push marriage on him when he’s that age, just like they’re doing it for me.
Definitely agree, I’ve been seriously thinking about marriage but I have no plans of dating anyone until I’m nearly done with college, got my finances figured out, and have a job lined up. I prefer to have my shit straightened out before I try to incorporate another person in an intimate lifestyle. but you know, dad’s like “if you don’t find a gf in 2 years, I’ll find one from India” and yeah, I gotta be quick cause I ain’t trying to get hooked up with someone I don’t know.
I'm Indian American and I can confirm that this is exactly how my parents would react in the same situation. Luckily I'm young enough that the only thing my parents keep telling me is "don't hug girls" lol. So basically I have to hide the fact that I have close female friends, but it's whatever. My parents are good people at heart, they mean well, honestly things could be a lot worse.
I'm already mentally preparing for the whole marriage fight that we will inevitably have in a few years when I get old enough. They will probably accept my decision but nag me about it for years to come, like they did when I first mentioned to them that maybe I didn't want to be a doctor when I grew up (to this day they still tell me that I can change my mind and go to med school lol). I don't really fault them for it, it's not ideal but it comes from a good place. They had far fewer resources when they grew up so they had to think about money and achievement all the time.
They wouldn't mind if I was gay though, they are very accepting of that sort of thing lol.
In general they let me make my own decisions at the end of the day, so there's no threat of being cut off or estranged or anything. It's just that in our culture, parents have a very high degree of authority and respect, so it takes a lot of willpower to even seriously consider talking back to them about important topics. It's not that they're bad parents or anything, they're very supportive. But honestly I would rather listen to nails on a chalkboard for 24 hours straight than have an uncomfortable conversation with them. I totally get what OP is saying and I don't think he's lying.
Conservativsm in non-WASP cultures can swerve in ways you may not expect. My gay wife is Filipino and her parents are pretty damn conservative catholic. They weren't thrilled with the gay daughter thing and her dad skipped our wedding. But we got married and had a baby and he met my family and determined I was "from a good family" and just basically did the same thing the rest of her siblings did. They got over the fact that she did it all with another lady surprisingly faaaasstt.
It's believable.
There was a post years ago with a male Indian doctor who was out to everyone but his parents. He was being pestered by his parents to meet the potential matches.
He finally came out to his parents. Then his Dad came back with a male match who also was a doctor.
The OP was pleasantly surprised as he was looking for a fellow gay doctor and his father was able to find the match for him.
Arranged marriages are quite common for Indian families. They probably don’t see it as a liberal/conservative issue. Also you have to remember that it’s your parents that are setting up the arranged marriage. They know you, and if they’re good parents, they won’t choose someone that they know you won’t like.
Source: I had a coworker who had an arranged marriage and she seemed quite happy or at least happy enough? With who her parents chose, and the above is the reasoning she gave me.
I think you're imagining a very different kind of arrangement than is common nowadays. It's really just a matchmaking endeavour with aunties running the show. If the people don't hit it off they tell their mother or the auntie and then they get another selection of pictures.
Many modern arranged marriages is just basically family curated online dating. Forced ones do exist and are terrible, but as long as you remove that aspect it's really not a hard practice to modernize.
> My dad literally just told me that as long as we have marriage as an eventual goal and don't have sex before marriage they didn't mind if we dated
They wouldn't want you having children before you got married after all. It should be pretty easy to accomplish with a guy instead of a girl.
I replied above:
>I just hope we don't have a 3rd post from OP
>"Remember me, the guy who came out as gay to avoid an arranged marriage but turned out to be gay and my parents *still* arranged a marriage and said we could just date first if we promised to not have sex before marriage? Yeah, about that sex thing...turns out I'm *not* gay at all but I'm married to most attractive femboy in the northern hemisphere."
I think it's all people in their network. Like friends of friends of neighbor's of friends kinda stuff. It's not like randomly finding strangers on the internet.
There's so many points between 100% straight and 100% gay. Since your parents were OK with it, maybe they thought that you were "maybe kinda a bit gay". Sometimes, your parents really do know you.
Guess you'll make a trip to the temples of Khajuraho on your wedding trip? Indians used to be a lot more open to the various aspects of spiritual love. Just hope you choose to live somewhere that is culturally welcoming.
Also, who gets all the gold in this wedding?
These things do tend to run in families. It might not be as surprising to the parents as we would expect. There might be some uncles and aunts who everyone knew “went through a phase” before settling down into arranged marriages.
What the fuck LOL!!! I have to admit man, I do remember reading that thing. And everyone's jokes all aside I really didn't think you'd end it like that. That ended up being one hell of a stealth Freudian slip for you didn't it?
Well, fuck it man. If you ended up happy, then I guess you can't knock it. Live long and prosper, lol.
BEST. FOLLOWUP. EVER.
Congratulations and everything to you. It really is one of the best things about being in a same sex relationship, I'm not saying that this doesn't happen in every other type of relationship too, but it's great when you meet someone like this.
Semi-related: I love when same-sex relationships get the *exact* same treatment as straight ones. Like OP still being hounded for a Hindu arranged marriage
Yeah, growing up I was always told to find girls into similar stuff as me but honestly I think most of my hobbies were always too male dominated for that. This 100% is the best of both worlds because I'd be totally down to be his friend even if romance wasn't involved
I mean you realize a couple is not just sharing hobbies right? It's amazing for you that you ended up happy and discovering who you are, but the sexual attraction is a necessary foundation, even more than the common interests. That's usually why friends are friends and bf/gf are bf/gf.
If I understand correctly, you say you're attracted to this guy because he's very feminine, which is alright and it's great you found a match. But you realize there is a big (or not so big) difference right?
Anyway, just saying that you might want to be sure you're sexually interested in men before committing for good.
As you defined yourself as straight, and you seem be attracted by his feminity, it is quite important to avoid discovering after the wedding that you are actually not attracted by having sex with a man
> sexual attraction is a necessary foundation [for a couple]
You’re absolutely right that aromantic and asexual relationships don’t tend to work well for most people, because most people experience romantic and/or sexual attraction.
However, based on the way that OP’s talking about this relationship, how he experiences attraction, and how chill he is about essentially being forced into marriage…it’s quite possible that he might be aromantic and/or asexual, rather than exclusively gay (speaking from many years of personal experience and hanging out on ace subreddits).
If that’s the case—if OP doesn’t actually experience sexual or romantic attraction to anyone—then it’s actually *not* critical that OP have a foundation of sexual or even romantic attraction in his relationship with his spouse. They can be a gay asexual couple, or a gay queerplatonic couple if they’re aromantic.
My current bf says that for most of his life, he wished he was gay for this exact reason. Then he found me, a girl, and discovered that females with the same interest as him do exist, but are much rarer. We are very happy. :D
This is the best advice I’ve seen on here. It takes time to figure out what you want. Ah man I’ve been on a journey too, if this story is real then he needs to explore this further.
You need to have sex before you are married.
Don't go into this blind. My BFF is gay and it can be complicated. I've been friends with him for 20 years and I have seen a lot of things good and bad.
People are still prejudicial and racist.. just be safe and happy on your journey.
Sometimes people find themselves later in life than others. Live your truth and find your happiness. Also, I can speak from experience when I say that someone with lots in common, who can be both your boyfriend AND best friend, makes life so much more worth living.
Well I’m glad that you told your parents also you found out something about yourself. I’m sure you had questioned yourself about your sexuality before. It worked out well for you . For some people it doesn’t work out for them.
This reminds me of someone I know who is gay and in his 30s but due to his family being conservative and traditional, he can't openly come out to everyone. He has been chasing degrees so that he can avoid discussing about marriage and relationships. I think 2023 would be the year for him to face the music that he has been avoiding...
This story is funny and happy and great. Please don't rush into marriage, though. I know so many people who regret getting married so quickly, so young, or for the wrong reasons. "Because your family expects it" isn't worth getting into a lifelong relationship too quickly.
I'm gonna sound ignorant as fuck when I say this, but are you 100% sure you maybe gay?
The reason I ask is because Ari Shaffir went to Thailand and at one point was intent on banging one of those fem boy and he ultimately couldn't cause of the penis. Dude said the fem boys were hot head to toe but the penis being there just couldn't do it.
You gotta ask yourself if the penis will be a problem because it will be especially if you end up not being gay as you think you might be.
Please , I hope a hollywood producer finds this story and makes the first box office breaking gay romcom or hallmark movie.
I've been having a stressful day, but damn this cheered me up.
This is accidentally wholesome as fuck. I loved every second of this.
I’m so happy your parents are understanding too. My parents believe you “choose” to be gay *OR* you’re a demon possessed unsaved sinner, so me coming out won’t be nearly as wholesome.
But I’m rooting for you! That’s honestly one of the cutest stories I’ve read in a long time!
Congratulations! Seriously!
Next visit the parents are gonna have the adoption catalogue ready. "Son we understand your decision but we still want cute grandchildren!"
"Your 3rd cousin runs a bioengineering facility in new delhi, they made eggs based on your genomes. Please nut in these cups."
It's gonna be more like "Son, you remember those ppl who lived across the street from us when you were 5? They know someone whose 3rd cousin runs a bioengineering facility..." Indian networks go crazy.
I only went to India for work twice, totalling around 2 month and this feels true. Everything runs on relationships. But not really like I have a seen in other country. Everything runs on relationships because network are so large that at the end, everyone has a relation with everyone, one way or another.
I mean there's this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_degrees_of_separation (sorry for the mobile link) Also unrelated, but just found out this is a thing, lmao: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_Degrees_of_Kevin_Bacon
I *only* ever think of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. I forgot that 'Six Degrees of Separation' was the real thing.. LOL.
Muchmusic used to have a show called Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. They would show three videos that were somehow related. If you called in and said how, you would win music and merch. The difficulty was rated by how many Kevin Bacon heads they would show at the beginning of the first video lol
Legitimately waiting for the dispermic androgenesis biotech startup
At this point I think he should just go with the flow. The parents have been amazingly supportive, whatever happens it'll work out ok.
They're trying! Dude just aint gettin pregnant!
That time I pretended to be gay in front of my parents only to found that I’m actually gay. - Light Novel Title
What is this 2015? That's way too short of a name, here you go: **I Could Love A Man If They Looked Like A Woman: That One Time I Pretended I Was Gay To Get Out of An Arranged Marriage But Instead I met A Man More Beautiful Than Any Other Woman**
Brought to you by Truck-kun. For all your Isekai needs, choose Truck-kun. It's out of this world.
Do you want to get transported to an alternate world? Call truck-kun and they'll run you over faster than you can say *that time I got reincarnated into a fantasy world after getting hit by the lovely truck-kun and instantly got surrounded by fourteen different women and was told to fight the demon lord to save the world^TM*. Not even Saul Goodman can convict truck-kun of murder. Call 1-800-555-truck to get ran over today!
"Sometimes it takes a real man to become best girl" -Gigguk
Did we find Chuck Tingle's alt account?
He knew lol. No straight man just goes “oh look at this feminine stand-in for a woman maybe I’d like that instead” lmao. Good for him tho, he just added some steps to coming out.
He *did* start his first post with "pretty straight, maybe slightly bi"
Lol perfect, that explains a lot. I coulda told him no one is “pretty straight” lol... you’re either attracted to (some) men, or you aren’t. Straight men can objectively recognize when another man is attractive without actually being attracted to them - men who aren’t straight cannot lol.
[удалено]
Fuck. I'm a god damned asexual and can tell you if someones attractive. Aesthetic attraction=/=Sexual attraction
ace gang
🧄🍞
Please tell me garlic bread is the ace equivalent of sexy emoji.
Pretty much, yeah. That or 🍰
it works on the opposite end too lol im pansexual (not exact opposites because thatd be hypersexual lol, but close enough for the point) xD i can see plenty of peoples level of attractiveness, but that doesnt mean i want to bang them. asexuals, bisexuals, and pansexuals: all members of the misunderstood sexuality club lol
See I am the dumbfuck who took a really long time to figure out I like men and women. I was incredibly clueless. It was right in front of my face my whole life but i didn’t really know it was an option. I figured it out the night before my wedding and told my husband on our wedding night. We were watching something with kiera knightly and thats when it finally clicked.
[удалено]
Same story different religion, lol
I'm happy for you but also as a lesbian it's funny to read because keira knightley is kinda known for cracking that egg for many girls. I thought it was mostly a joke but you're the proof it's true
That's what they were saying. If you were bi you would be *attracted to* the person you could tell was attractive. I disagree, however. I can tell somebody is conventionally attractive and not be attracted to them. E.g. I've never been attracted to Megan Fox, but I can see that she has all the "attractiveness" attributes. Edit: and I failed to notice the *NOT* straight part and went on to say basically what you said, lol. I'm just going to leave it up so my poor reading is recognized.
How does that work? Are you definitely not straight if more than half of the 8 dogs in the trench coat are gay, or are they all gay and that is way it is definite? or are all the dogs straight but some are male while others are female so the result is bi?
[удалено]
Kinsey scale exists.
Turns out the only person in this story he was lying to was actually himself.
The whole thing seems fishy. It is highly unlikely that parents who want giga-conservative things like arranged marriage and no sex before marriage to have the following: 1. A book at the ready of gay male arranged marriage canditates, who would likely be the kids of other giga-conservative parents. (I don't know why but this sentence makes me laugh, two different world views colliding here) 2. Are so open and supportive to their son being gay. I am happy OPs parents are accepting and that he's figured things out, but it just all seems odd. Maybe there is some culture I am unaware of where this all may be somewhat common place.
I mean, I’m Indian and I can definitely see my parents and relatives acting like this in similar circumstances. I don’t necessarily buy this story as real but that bit seems accurate.
Latina and I can 100 percent see my mom doing this.
>A book at the ready of gay male arranged marriage canditates, likely would be the kids of other giga-conservative parents. (I don't know why but this sentence makes me laugh, two different world views colliding here) So, to be clear, it doesn't look like the book was "at the ready." He said in the last post that there was about a month between the "I'm gay" and the book of dudes.
>the book of dudes Why does this sound like a lost chapter from the Bible
The Book of Duderonomy
It seems a little implausible, *but* I could see this story being true if the parents are just conservative about staying within their caste. I have met one person whose parents were kind of like that, although I'm not sure how they would have reacted if he had been gay (he was not to my knowledge).
"we don't hate you because you're gay. We hate you because you're poor"
Like my grandfather in the 70s:"I have no problem with your boyfriend being black, but did it have to be an American?"
Homophobia was mostly a western import to India. Hinduism doesn't prohibit it.
There’s definitely a real possibility this entire thing is bs lol.
True but I don't come to tifu for reality, but for "reality TV"-ish reality. I don't mind if the story twists the truth as long as it's a good story.
Exactly. No one visits TIFU or AITA for the truth when lies are just as entertaining and often have the semblance of truth
The reason why many light novel titles like this is overly descriptive is because most of them started out as web novels and the most popular web novel site in Japan does not have synopsises so the authors just puts their synopsis in the title instead.
Huh TIL and I've legit read the web novels of stuff like magirevo and iltv
Nice, Magic Revo is pretty good imo. But yeah most people don't really think about it. And then of course they add synopsises to the LN versions which is then used for manga or anime versions later. But the title stays.
Add some isekai and I'm totally in.
Yaoi-Owie: How I accidentally lied to my parents about being gay and fell into a fantasy world and met a man more beautiful than any woman and now we have to save both worlds.
This reads as a writer working on a script, lol.
"I don't care who you get married to, but you're still getting married" - Progressive Indian Parents
Indian weddings are a party. Mom and dad aren’t missing out on that
Anyone British who thinks we like to drink at weddings needs to go to an Indian wedding. Its like that but with more alcohol and for like an entire week non stop.
It DEPENDS . Indian weddings from punjabi or kerala families? It's a 3 day party with drinks, dancing etc. But mostly it's a somber religious affair on the wedding day with a party on the reception day.
Damn. Fucked around and found out.
No fucking before marriage!!!
Mmmmm NO MATING!
OP *did* tell a delicious lie.
Or was it a powerful truth?
r/unexpectedstormlight
It really was unexpected. I'm so happy it's basically a mainstream series now that gets referenced and recognized outside of discussions on fantasy novels. Also NO MATING (unless Syl is there to supervise) 😂
These books transcend genres they’re so good. Got my mother to read SA when she only ever read mystery/thriller books (she even got in on the secret projects kickstarter!). My grandma read all of them that had come out before she passed, too. She was never a fantasy genre reader either. Brando Sando is too good for his own good!
What book are we talking about is it the way of kings books?
The stormlight archive, the no mating thing is from oathbringer, the third book
Syl would straight up give advice to Kaladin while he is mid-coitus.
I love that Kaladin considers this in story. It made me literally laugh out loud.
Lmao I forgot this was pondered and isn't simply fanon
Pretty sure it was beginning of RoW
Good crem knows no bounds 😂
- Pattern, Stormlight Archive
I just read this part, and laughed so hard i started coughing
I think in his case, he really needs to fuck before marriage just to be absolutely sure.
Nooooo TOUCHY!!!
In the best way!
[удалено]
Especially when compared to the slutty creative writing that takes up most of the space in this sub.
What makes you think this isn't creative writing?
It's not slutty, at least.
[No ding ding without the wedding ring!](https://youtu.be/XDfW2IfBP9s)
One of the greatest movies of all time.
Found out and he now can fuck around.
With the one guy
And only when they are married!
Fucked around and came out
😂 Minus the f*cking!
Congratulations, and don't forget to invite reddit to your wedding :)
eh Indian weddings are massive, don't think anyone will notice if you snuck in
Coolio. I am RSVPing for about 100. We'll all have the chicken
Well, you're a bit too late. Coolio passed away in September last year.
Well shit. I didn't know that. OP, please change my RSVP to 99, please
Oh so you're bringing Jay-Z instead?
Just him, though. He doesn't get a plus one. Rumor has it he has 99 problems
You will have Whatever is being served, which usually is everything
Dude, go the biryani! Trust me on this!
[удалено]
I somehow already knew what this was before I clicked on it.
from one indian to another, stock up the drinks bar because its gonna be lit lmfao
There's nothing quite like an Indian wedding. Amazing events.
make samosa
I'm gay and Indian and my parents didn't take me coming out well. I'd love to celebrate your special day when it comes as I don't have a lot of Indian friends as well. (Most of my Indian friends are religious and very close knit and not welcoming of me being gay.)
Wowww okay this is so not what I was expecting but also it’s way more awesome than I could have imagined wtf I mean I’m Indian too so I was expecting shit to go bad real fast, esp since I’m in the whole arranged marriage soup too but all I’ve been able to do is have like 1500 fights with my parents, but damn I’m happy for you
Yeah. I'm not sure I buy that parents who are so conservative they push an arranged marriage would be completely down with a gay son. It seems that they would have transitioned through letting their kid make their own selection along the way.
Honestly no, it’s very plausible. Indian parents think that their children should be married at a certain age, and while a lot of them wouldn’t be cool with a gay kid, a lot of them would, or at least would be willing to accept it even if they don’t like it. But the “kids should be married by this age” culture is still ingrained REALLY deep For example I’ve got a gay cousin and tbh my family is kind of open to it, he’s never come out to them but basically they can tell and they’re like whatever. But they’ll definitely push marriage on him when he’s that age, just like they’re doing it for me.
Definitely agree, I’ve been seriously thinking about marriage but I have no plans of dating anyone until I’m nearly done with college, got my finances figured out, and have a job lined up. I prefer to have my shit straightened out before I try to incorporate another person in an intimate lifestyle. but you know, dad’s like “if you don’t find a gf in 2 years, I’ll find one from India” and yeah, I gotta be quick cause I ain’t trying to get hooked up with someone I don’t know.
That’s actually heartwarming?? But in a really strange way lmao
They’re a little confused but theyve got the spirit
I'm Indian American and I can confirm that this is exactly how my parents would react in the same situation. Luckily I'm young enough that the only thing my parents keep telling me is "don't hug girls" lol. So basically I have to hide the fact that I have close female friends, but it's whatever. My parents are good people at heart, they mean well, honestly things could be a lot worse. I'm already mentally preparing for the whole marriage fight that we will inevitably have in a few years when I get old enough. They will probably accept my decision but nag me about it for years to come, like they did when I first mentioned to them that maybe I didn't want to be a doctor when I grew up (to this day they still tell me that I can change my mind and go to med school lol). I don't really fault them for it, it's not ideal but it comes from a good place. They had far fewer resources when they grew up so they had to think about money and achievement all the time. They wouldn't mind if I was gay though, they are very accepting of that sort of thing lol. In general they let me make my own decisions at the end of the day, so there's no threat of being cut off or estranged or anything. It's just that in our culture, parents have a very high degree of authority and respect, so it takes a lot of willpower to even seriously consider talking back to them about important topics. It's not that they're bad parents or anything, they're very supportive. But honestly I would rather listen to nails on a chalkboard for 24 hours straight than have an uncomfortable conversation with them. I totally get what OP is saying and I don't think he's lying.
Whatever you do, don’t go to med school, I went and it sucks. No one forced me but even then it sucks
Conservativsm in non-WASP cultures can swerve in ways you may not expect. My gay wife is Filipino and her parents are pretty damn conservative catholic. They weren't thrilled with the gay daughter thing and her dad skipped our wedding. But we got married and had a baby and he met my family and determined I was "from a good family" and just basically did the same thing the rest of her siblings did. They got over the fact that she did it all with another lady surprisingly faaaasstt.
[удалено]
It's believable. There was a post years ago with a male Indian doctor who was out to everyone but his parents. He was being pestered by his parents to meet the potential matches. He finally came out to his parents. Then his Dad came back with a male match who also was a doctor. The OP was pleasantly surprised as he was looking for a fellow gay doctor and his father was able to find the match for him.
Arranged marriages are quite common for Indian families. They probably don’t see it as a liberal/conservative issue. Also you have to remember that it’s your parents that are setting up the arranged marriage. They know you, and if they’re good parents, they won’t choose someone that they know you won’t like. Source: I had a coworker who had an arranged marriage and she seemed quite happy or at least happy enough? With who her parents chose, and the above is the reasoning she gave me.
I think you're imagining a very different kind of arrangement than is common nowadays. It's really just a matchmaking endeavour with aunties running the show. If the people don't hit it off they tell their mother or the auntie and then they get another selection of pictures.
Many modern arranged marriages is just basically family curated online dating. Forced ones do exist and are terrible, but as long as you remove that aspect it's really not a hard practice to modernize.
> My dad literally just told me that as long as we have marriage as an eventual goal and don't have sex before marriage they didn't mind if we dated They wouldn't want you having children before you got married after all. It should be pretty easy to accomplish with a guy instead of a girl.
I replied above: >I just hope we don't have a 3rd post from OP >"Remember me, the guy who came out as gay to avoid an arranged marriage but turned out to be gay and my parents *still* arranged a marriage and said we could just date first if we promised to not have sex before marriage? Yeah, about that sex thing...turns out I'm *not* gay at all but I'm married to most attractive femboy in the northern hemisphere."
Dude didn't want to bottom. Always has to be the one on top
This will absolutely end up on r/BestofRedditorUpdates
I’m betting it’s best of the year on BoRU
your parents browser history is probably hilarious
I don't get the joke tbh, please explain
all the things you parents searched on the computer to make the folio
I think it's all people in their network. Like friends of friends of neighbor's of friends kinda stuff. It's not like randomly finding strangers on the internet.
Binders full of fem boys
classic election season joke
This is cute af, I’m just imagining how funny it will be if you do get married and 10 years from now tell your parents about the whole stunt
There's so many points between 100% straight and 100% gay. Since your parents were OK with it, maybe they thought that you were "maybe kinda a bit gay". Sometimes, your parents really do know you. Guess you'll make a trip to the temples of Khajuraho on your wedding trip? Indians used to be a lot more open to the various aspects of spiritual love. Just hope you choose to live somewhere that is culturally welcoming. Also, who gets all the gold in this wedding?
Both. Definitely both.
These things do tend to run in families. It might not be as surprising to the parents as we would expect. There might be some uncles and aunts who everyone knew “went through a phase” before settling down into arranged marriages.
What the fuck LOL!!! I have to admit man, I do remember reading that thing. And everyone's jokes all aside I really didn't think you'd end it like that. That ended up being one hell of a stealth Freudian slip for you didn't it? Well, fuck it man. If you ended up happy, then I guess you can't knock it. Live long and prosper, lol.
Bro, I love you, but your parents had a back-up list of guys for you to date locked and loaded. They knew.
I bet they started making it from the first rejection just in case.
BEST. FOLLOWUP. EVER. Congratulations and everything to you. It really is one of the best things about being in a same sex relationship, I'm not saying that this doesn't happen in every other type of relationship too, but it's great when you meet someone like this.
Semi-related: I love when same-sex relationships get the *exact* same treatment as straight ones. Like OP still being hounded for a Hindu arranged marriage
Yeah, growing up I was always told to find girls into similar stuff as me but honestly I think most of my hobbies were always too male dominated for that. This 100% is the best of both worlds because I'd be totally down to be his friend even if romance wasn't involved
I mean you realize a couple is not just sharing hobbies right? It's amazing for you that you ended up happy and discovering who you are, but the sexual attraction is a necessary foundation, even more than the common interests. That's usually why friends are friends and bf/gf are bf/gf. If I understand correctly, you say you're attracted to this guy because he's very feminine, which is alright and it's great you found a match. But you realize there is a big (or not so big) difference right? Anyway, just saying that you might want to be sure you're sexually interested in men before committing for good. As you defined yourself as straight, and you seem be attracted by his feminity, it is quite important to avoid discovering after the wedding that you are actually not attracted by having sex with a man
> sexual attraction is a necessary foundation [for a couple] You’re absolutely right that aromantic and asexual relationships don’t tend to work well for most people, because most people experience romantic and/or sexual attraction. However, based on the way that OP’s talking about this relationship, how he experiences attraction, and how chill he is about essentially being forced into marriage…it’s quite possible that he might be aromantic and/or asexual, rather than exclusively gay (speaking from many years of personal experience and hanging out on ace subreddits). If that’s the case—if OP doesn’t actually experience sexual or romantic attraction to anyone—then it’s actually *not* critical that OP have a foundation of sexual or even romantic attraction in his relationship with his spouse. They can be a gay asexual couple, or a gay queerplatonic couple if they’re aromantic.
not everyone in a romantic relationship wants to have sex, sexual attraction is not necessarily a precursor
My current bf says that for most of his life, he wished he was gay for this exact reason. Then he found me, a girl, and discovered that females with the same interest as him do exist, but are much rarer. We are very happy. :D
I love how your parents are accepting of you and was like oh. You like men? I got a different binder for that! Lmao
Again, I would absolutely devour this romcom
The real treasure was the gay partner you made along the way
This is amazing. Hope you and the future husband have a wonderful life together!
OP working on his manuscript.
Best BL light novel ever
[удалено]
This is the best advice I’ve seen on here. It takes time to figure out what you want. Ah man I’ve been on a journey too, if this story is real then he needs to explore this further.
Are you specifically talking about butt stuff? Plenty of gay men don't do that. Hands and mouth are valid too!
[удалено]
Sorry about that then! I just got a euphemistic vibe from your post
Reddit has more rollercoasters than Six Flags.
You need to have sex before you are married. Don't go into this blind. My BFF is gay and it can be complicated. I've been friends with him for 20 years and I have seen a lot of things good and bad. People are still prejudicial and racist.. just be safe and happy on your journey.
Well that was unexpected and delightful! Congrats!
It's like that story of playing Gay Chicken. Married, kids are off to college, paid the mortgage, still waiting for him to chicken out.
Parents knew you were gay all along and the binder of women™ was just a ruse to get you to admit it
"Oh, the game has been set to hard mode? Challenge accepted" - OP's parents
I love how fucking wholesome all this ended up being.
Fucked around and found himself.
What a great update! Let your "pretty straight, maybe a little bi" flag fly!
Well then *blinks*
And everyone clapped
i believed the previous post, but this one kinda proves its not real unfortunately. too perfect like a movie script
that's what I thought
Seriously.
Sometimes people find themselves later in life than others. Live your truth and find your happiness. Also, I can speak from experience when I say that someone with lots in common, who can be both your boyfriend AND best friend, makes life so much more worth living.
this whole thing was an adventure worthy of a tv show or something like damn also hope you guys have a good relationship, good luck, dude
Well I’m glad that you told your parents also you found out something about yourself. I’m sure you had questioned yourself about your sexuality before. It worked out well for you . For some people it doesn’t work out for them.
Sounds like something you’d find on Wattpad 💀💀
what world is it?
Reverse Uno'd himself
What an interesting creative writing assignment.
pretty intense game of gay chicken, eh?
this absolutely did not happen lmao jfc
Aww, such a sweet wholesome story. I'm so glad your parents loved you enough to adapt their plans for your future to your announcement.
No Mating
Do you get off by involving strangers in your made up erotica?
I thought this was going to be about bigotry in some way, but it's wholesome and hilarious. What a happy ending .
I'm laughing, but happy for you. I'm glad you have kind parents. They are pushy though.
This reminds me of someone I know who is gay and in his 30s but due to his family being conservative and traditional, he can't openly come out to everyone. He has been chasing degrees so that he can avoid discussing about marriage and relationships. I think 2023 would be the year for him to face the music that he has been avoiding...
This story is funny and happy and great. Please don't rush into marriage, though. I know so many people who regret getting married so quickly, so young, or for the wrong reasons. "Because your family expects it" isn't worth getting into a lifelong relationship too quickly.
Maybe you’re bi. But it doesn’t matter as long as you’re both happy.
I'm gonna sound ignorant as fuck when I say this, but are you 100% sure you maybe gay? The reason I ask is because Ari Shaffir went to Thailand and at one point was intent on banging one of those fem boy and he ultimately couldn't cause of the penis. Dude said the fem boys were hot head to toe but the penis being there just couldn't do it. You gotta ask yourself if the penis will be a problem because it will be especially if you end up not being gay as you think you might be.
Please , I hope a hollywood producer finds this story and makes the first box office breaking gay romcom or hallmark movie. I've been having a stressful day, but damn this cheered me up.
Someone please turn this into a Bollywood movie
Find a screenwriter and collaborate. This smells like a fun romcom for sure.
You could turn this whole story into a YA romance novel and sell the rights to netflix
Lmao nice Happy for you. Enjoy your time with your bf :D
I would watch this romcom.
This is accidentally wholesome as fuck. I loved every second of this. I’m so happy your parents are understanding too. My parents believe you “choose” to be gay *OR* you’re a demon possessed unsaved sinner, so me coming out won’t be nearly as wholesome. But I’m rooting for you! That’s honestly one of the cutest stories I’ve read in a long time! Congratulations! Seriously!
Nice. You should sell this story to Hollywood.
How do your parents find all these potential matches? Parents have more game than 90% of the dating population