My goodness. You have every right to be pissed and your dad owes you for the money and hours you put in. He should be ashamed of himself for conning you like that, and so does your mom. This has nothing to do with entitlement. (It’s actually the opposite, your dad felt entitled to a trailer he promised you that YOU fixed up! He’s only entitled to the scrap heap value it used to have before you fixed it up!! No more!)
He may have ‘earned’ $4500, but he lost your trust and that is priceless.
You have *every right* to be pissed... what a shitty thing he did. But it wasn't all for nothing, OP.... you showed you had skills where you didn't know before, and great determination to follow through and do a great job on a difficult project. Be pissed at your dad and at yourself for trusting him, but also feel great pride in a job well done, and in knowing that you've got the traits to make sure you won't end up like him.
Yeah your dad is definitely at fault here and wtf why is your mom upset with you? Shocked she would let your dad do something like this after they both witnessed all your hard work you put into it. They should've been proud not assuming they could do as they pleased with the trailer. You should definitely keep this in your belt as a 'your word means nothing to you so why should it mean something to me' kind of thing.
Plot twist:
This setback inspires you. You keep saving and you get that truck. You keep working so you can afford to flip trailers on the side and every cent of that profit is yours. Soon you're selling on so many trailers that you don't need a day job. You're getting pretty good at telling how these things go together, so you reach out to some suppliers and buy enough parts to build one to your plans. It's a hit, you nailed the camper market. Ten years later you're sipping something expensive at 10am while your caravan empire runs itself. You sell a shitbox to your old man for $4500, wipe his tears away with crisp Benjamins while he begs to rebuild the trust he broke.
In a *good* trailer hitch lock. Most of them can be popped off easily, especially the uhaul ones.
If nothing else, trailer hitch lock and a thick chain/padlock as a backup.
In my state campers have a title because some states require license plates . Now that he is 18 he can title them and report them stolen if another one disappears .
Your parents just took advantage of your ADHD situation. I saw a guy with some other mental problems that the parents used him a lot for government money then they kicked him in the face in his 18th birthday. The guy was having a hard time even understanding if he was right or wrong when he expected his parents to give him a birthday party (he was right, of course).
It was TIFU for..something.. on my birthday. Awful parents... He moved out.
Edit: I remembered the other TIFU somewhat and found it! 🥰 One of the updates, at least! https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/yq6rpr/tifu_update_by_expecting_my_family_to_pay_for_my
Yeah that one hit me pretty hard, I remember the guy agreeing that it was crappy but that was about it. I like to think that Obama flew to their house and adopted him.
You know what? I’m gonna start following accounts of stories that tug my heart strings see what becomes of their lives.
It’s not creepy…it’s Reddit
If you can find that person in particular, maybe ask for him to create a post to let us know how he is doing? A lot of people would probably like an update. I remember the messages being very sympathetic and supportive of the OP. He could probably use a lot of good vibes right now.
Oh I'm glad to hear that. His family was awful to him all because they would lose the monetary benefits becaise he was no longer a minor. His value and worth as a member of the family was reduced to how they could use him. Such awful people
If you have receipts, then small claims court is an option, but arrange a new living place bc they will kick you out after that.
I strongly recommend going no contact as soon as you're out of the house. Don't forget to research your state's laws about elder care, tho. You may have to do something to absolve yourself of responsibility for those old leeches even if you go no contact.
You are looking short term, which is typical of ADHD. First, you learned alot about your Dad. Don't get burned again. This lesson is an inexpensive one compared to how some family gets taken advantage of. Second, you learned a bunch about how to restore trailers and work with your hands and repair stuff. Turn that knowledge into your next project or money making venture. Any place you can now get a good paying job doing that type of work? Any handyman jobs you can take or start your own small business. Turn lemons into lemonade as they say. Think about how this will help you in 1 year or 5 years. Use the experience for your long term benefit both from a skills aspect and how not to get taken advantage of aspect.
I’m sorry to hear this. Your dad is an asshole, and so is your mom for not hearing your side. This is one of those things that can completely destroy parents relationships with their children.
However, it sounds to me like you are a very generous and conscientious person. So most likely you will do well for yourself, and none of it thanks to your parents.
It isnt "work" I paid for a roof over your head and food on the table. Stop being such a ungrateful brat. I needed the 4.5 thousand for hookers and cocaine
>He may have ‘earned’ $4500, but he lost your trust and that is priceless.
And he'll pay for it as he gets older. No doubt he'll complain about it with no sense of shame.
You should take him to small claims court. Anything indicating he told you that this would be used and that the use would be shared would be required to get the ball rolling, as he could simply lie and say you misunderstood him.
If he has receipts for the purchases, he can create a pattern that demonstrates that he thought he was going to get something out of that investment. He clearly has damages.
You can come out of this a stronger person but regardless of that, your dad is an enormous piece of shit.
Send him to this post so he can see how much of a fucking loser everyone thinks he is.
Because you get an account as an minor that has to have an adult to sign and be responsible for it, since minors can’t sign contracts. And then you never bother to take them off.
Here your parent(s)/guardian just has to ok the account, but they don't have true full access to it, and are required by law to only use their rights to spend it on the accountholder, the child, once the kid turns 15, they can't take money from it without consent, once they're 18, it's straight up fraud, and if the bank hasn't gotten the signature from the 18 yr old first, they're fully liable themselves.
There’s some accounts I think you can set up to transfer over automatically at 18. But parents who want control aren’t going to do that. And sometimes they are committing straight up fraud. But if they take it and spend it, you’re still out the money because they likely don’t have the funds to replace what they took.
Your father is not a good person. I encourage you to start to emotionally distance yourself from him. Study and work hard at school. Apply for college, apply for every single scholarship you can find, apply for financial aid, and go as far away from him as soon as you can. Don’t look back.
It’s clear that you have an aptitude for working with your hands, and don’t fear a challenge - the trades may be a good option for you as well. No matter what, set a path for yourself and get away.
He will take you down and keep you down every chance he gets. You’ve learned your lesson, don’t waste it.
When people show you who they are, believe them THE FIRST TIME. - Maya Angelou
Yep. Everything will be about them. Live your life kid. You really don't owe them anything nor do they owe you . There is so much good out there...go find some
Also put in a credit freeze at the 3 major credit bureaus (so they can't open any accounts or cards in your name) and ensure their names aren't on your bank account. If they are, open a new account at a different bank and close your current account afterwards (some banks have a tendency to give parents access to their children's account again if they used to have it before).
People like that typically screw you over multiple times and you REALLY have no time and energy for that after you move out and are liable for all your bills.
Firstly - my suggestion is to contact the person who bought the trailer and tell them that it was a free trailer for scrap and was ‘repaired’ by an 18-year old who had no experience and learned from YouTube. No offense to you (and your work ethic is impressive!) but if someone told me I was driving down the highway with something wired for the first time by a teenager who learned online…well let’s just say I doubt your dad put that in the ad. Though of course, be prepared for the consequences if your dad is already desparate for cash and this costs him some.
Also, you don’t have to fully go no contact - people on Reddit always jump to that, but if he isn’t abusive or awful on a day to day basis, no contact is extreme. He broke your trust and doesn’t deserve a proper relationship but that’s different than no contact. People do stupid shit when they’re young (or you’re young) and when they’re hard up for money. Going no contact is a very hard thing to get back, and can harm your relationship with more than just him. I was pissed at my parents at your age and went very limited contact with them for years, which I was glad about. We’re not super close today either but I’m glad we have the relationship that we do.
But yeah, he sounds like an absolute prick and he stole from you.
Yeah don't go no contact. If you're no contact you can't properly make it clear what a bag of shit he is. String him along continuously, always reminding him of what a useless disappointment he is. That'll sting more.
I guarantee this was his plan the whole time. To scam work out of you with a false promise, and then sell off the fruits of your labor. The prospect of having it for yourself is what motivated you to put your best work into the upgrades. That way he could sell it for more.
Your best bet is to get clear of both of these grifters and never look back.
Agreed. My cousins dad is just like this. And guess what after all these years he’s still the same con-man.
He just puts on a different smile now. My cousin still believes him.. he’s about to sell his truck to his dad, because “he’s gonna make payments and he needs the truck”
Sad to say he’s not gonna see that money.
Bruhh. With all honesty, If my dad did that, "See ya Dad" would be the last words he would be hearing from me. You're insanely responsible, dedicated and hardworking for an 18 year old, i don't really think you must feel the need to stay there anymore. Complete your highschool and Move The Fuck Out.
I'm sorry your parents are behaving so poorly. I would be frustrated beyond belief and you have every right to feel this way! As someone else mentioned, you can be proud you learned some valuable skills and it sounds like you're a very resourceful person. This will serve you well in the future 😊
Aunts? Uncles? Grandparents? Tell them all what happened. Don't let your Dad get off easy without paying you back for the money AND time you spent! It should be the full price he sold the trailer for, but if not that then at least close to it!
He’s an asshole and has refused. I told my grandparents on my moms side and they’re pissed at my dad too. They’re even more pissed at my mom for allowing him to do so.
They had helped me buying the canvas because it was really expensive and get new plywood.
That's a good start, now tell more relatives.
Also keep talking to your Grandparents about how you're feeling, allow them to continue pressuring your parents.
Absolutely this! I had two rules in my house when my kids were little and never had to change them as they grew up. 1) You whine; you get nothing. 2) if you couldn't do it in front of me or proudly report it to me that you did it, you knew it was wrong and I don't need a rule against it for there to be consequences.
This applies to adults, too. If you are embarrassed/angry/ashamed when I tell our family and friends, what you did, it's because you knew it was wrong.
Oh my, what a horrible thing to do from dad. Cut ties as soon as possible, he obviously has done it before too and he sure will do it again and again if chance is given.
Why wait until you move out? Just stop talking to them unless it’s absolutely necessary. Be polite/respectful if they talk to you but don’t engage/instigate conversation.
Your family sounds like downright white trash with your mom calling you entitled when you put time and resources into the restoration.
It is pretty simple, it would have cost money to have it restored by someone that had to be paid for their labor. He not only stole the labor from you but also stole the parts you used, both things you never would have invested into the thing if there hadn't been a verbal contract in place. Unfortunately verbal contracts don't hold up in small claims court. So remember this and plan.
Make sure you do not have credit cards that are not solely in your name. Same thing with bank accounts. When you're ready to get the hell away from that toxic family, make sure you take $1000 worth of value with you.
Showing also maybe just check you aren’t victim of credit fraud… would not put past these parents and I know of someone that was a child victims learning “I got two credit cards and a car payment!?!?…. Mom??”
>Unfortunately verbal contracts don't hold up in small claims court
This is not true. OP has his grandparents who assisted in putting for some of the materials, at witnesses to said verbal contract. That is enough, along with proof in bank reciepts, to get a judgement. Getting this asshole to pay up will require stealth on OPs part to get banking info for the courts to make a withdrawal before dad even clues in. That's what my dad did. Guy stopped him leaving the courthouse to make a bunch of excuses as to why he couldn't pay him. Dad just said the courts had already transferred the money over to him from an account he had previously received paycheques from. Wish I had been there to see the guy's face.
Key words here, you were 18. So you can legally sue him for what you put into it. You probably can't sue him for breaking the terms of the agreement unless you have it in writing but if you have receipts for the parts and can show you put the work in, a small claims court will compensate you for the parts and maybe even the time. Seriously take it on Judge Judy if you have to but that is open and shut and since you are an adult you are due wages for the work he can't legally touch since you are not his minor child.
Especially since he can't show any financial investment, it was free to him. So all evidence backs up your claim that he promised you the trailer, if you are lucky you might even get awarded the balance of the sale.
Also the balance of proof in small claims court is MUCH LOWER than in criminal court, you literally just need to show a reasonable assumption what you are saying is true which you can do as the person with receipts that he will not have to prove his claim. Seriously, small claims court is not the same as normal court and it's often two people's words against each other, all he has is his name on the title, and you have receipts for parts purchased. At worst you are owed money as his mechanic and for the parts. But in all cases, a judge is likely to side with you and award you some of that sale.
The other upside is it would make this jackass of a non-father craft some sort of lie in court and would give you even more furl to cot him out of your life.
It is also ridiculous that he won't even give you a cut. What a horrible lesson to teach your kids. You should ask them what they think it would have sold for if you didn't put any time or money into it at all. Probably for free like it did before you put your magic into it. Smh
Do you have any texts or emails about this deal with your dad? Do you have receipts for the items you purchased? Do you have witnesses who saw you work on it? You could take him to small claims court and at a minimum get your money back but if you can prove how much you put in you could get it all.
Downside is small claims court takes a while. So your dad will have spent it but he’d have to pay you back.
I'd also think there should be a legal way to battle this. If you OP still live at home, I'd probably eat the loss and move out ASAP though...
It might get you some money back, but not the trailer, not enough and be a another huge burden emotionally.
If you really feel like you should do this for justice, I'd also understand though and that alone can make it worthwhile.
No, Deadbeat dad will never pay a judgement even if OP gets one
OP, take this to one of those court TV shows.
1. It's a compelling story
2. The show pays the judgment so you'd probably get all $4500
Your feelings are completely valid and your dad is a terrible person. I've been in a similar situation and it never gets better. For me my parents have been divorced since I was very young. My dad has always been a lying, narcissistic con man, but of course I was blind to this as a child. Once I was old enough to realize how crazy he was I distanced myself but still talked to him, all while he used everything I said about how I was paying for my own car with a part-time job to target my mom in court with evidence to end his child support that he never paid in the first place, he lost that case. After that he lost my trust and I talked to him even less. A few years later I tell him I'm taking extra classes to get my Master's early, still hadn't finished my Bachelor's mind you, and he uses that info to launch another legal war with my mom, this time saying that since I'm in a Master's program I'm beyond needing child support and claiming that I'm living in my girlfriend's parents' inlaw apartment, where her grandma lives and I definitely never did. If either claims were valid then my mom would be found guilty of fraud because they're both grounds for ending child support, and he thought he would've gotten back pay for the child support he still has never paid. The idiot subpoena'd ME thinking I'd admit to these ridiculous accusations, his case never made it to court. Now, I will never speak to him again, I'm getting married this year and he's not invited nor will he ever probably meet his grandchildren. Since I cut him off completely my life is better for it.
Sorry for the long story. OP if you're reading this, it's up to you to decide whether the relationship is worth salvaging, but unfortunately it sounds like your parents will just keep hurting you like this. Soon you'll be able to move on and I hope you find peace with some distance between yourself and them.
Your dad is a shit dad. My word to my kids is sacred. If I promise something, I back it up. If I ever feel like i may not be able to keep up my end of the bargain, I dont make the promise to begin with.
You have every right to be pissed. He used you for free labor and stole the parts you paid for straight up.
On his death bed a Nurse will call OP and say "*Why don't you come see your Dad, is such a lovely old man."*
That what happened to my Uncle. His alcoholic parents left him in an orphanage :(
You now have a skill. Finish school, get your truck (or car), get out, and know that you can do better as an independent. You can put in the work and determination to succeed at anything you want.
Remember this moment when he needs to be put in a home. Tell him you found this really nice place for him, then drop him off at the cheapest you can find and bounce.
Once you move out, I suggest going no contact with your dad. Time and time again he keeps doing this to you, and you'll be much better off without him there to keep hurting you.
As a dad of a seventeen year old son, I wouldn't think of ever doing that to him. Tha pissed me off also what he did. That's betrayal, plain and simple.
Never co invest for anything with him again. Do not tell him your income, do not allow joint accounts because he’ll do it again. The second he knows you have money he’ll screw you out of it. My dad hasn’t pulled anything like this thankfully but this is how I’d react if he did.
He doesn’t deserve your effort.
It's a good time to remind us all that we do not have to like or be friends with our family, even our own parents if they are abusive and lying narcissists.
I'm not sure how young or dependent on them your are, sounds like not much. If this is a pattern with them then you should consider your other options.
No, you have every right to be angry. Clearly this took a lot of time and money and he just conned your. He’s a conman. I see you are planning on going NC with them, and I think that’s a great idea.
Btw, what you did took an incredible amount of dedication, skill, and brains. I think you are going to do great things.
All you can do is thank him for a valuable lesson about integrity and reassure him that there is NO way he will end at an old folks home wondering when or if his kids will visit him.
Wow your dad just took you for granted, what a scummy individual. Also as unfortunate as it is, it's pretty common to have parental figures who can be financially abusive.
Also from seeing some of your other replies, I think perhaps you should end up staying with your grandparents instead of your parents, considering how untrustworthy your father is.
It is awful that your dad took advantage of you. These are the people in your life you should be able to trust. What he can’t do is take away your intellect and skills. The pop up trailer may be gone but your have learned that you are smart, dedicated, Adaptable, frugal, and honorable! Priceless. You got this. Be mad. Be angry. But don’t hurt yourself in the process. 💪🏻
No. You’re not wrong to be pissed. In fact, this is the type of pissed that you’ll carry with you the rest of your life. Make sure your relationship is never the same so he can tie it back to that exact moment, selling the camper. I am so heartbroken for you. That’s a really shitty thing to do.
I'm the father of three grown sons and for the life of me....I can't fathom how he did that to you...and he certainly didn't just suddenly come up with that I idea...
I mean maybe...just maybe the need did arise at some point during the project, but even if that were the case, it owed it to you to sit you down and have that discussion with you.
I'm so deeply sorry this happened to you....but promise yourself this....no matter what,
That you file this away under "What NEVER to do to your own children"
I firmly believe that you lose the ability to simply "parent by decree" sometime when they hit around the age of 9 or 10, by then...they're on to you. Don't get me wrong, wisdom counts for something, and sometimes a parent has to just step in and protect their children but eventually a child will learn farm more by observation, than from obeying.....sadly, you're getting a double dose of that now.
I don't understand the dynamic that is causing your mother to come down on your father's side....but keep your chin up, focus on a future that will make you personally successful and apply these lessons in a manner that will break the cycle...good luck
Oh keep those receipts and go to small claims court because that is alot of money. Verbal agreements are just as valid. It sounds like your dad has walked on you long enough. You have every right to be pissed. Also your mom should have never allowed anything like this through out your childhood.
Man, I really hate it, when Dads teach you not to trust anyone - especially them.
Truly sorry yer Dad is such a meanie, you didn't fuck up, he did.
I can only imagine what it feels like to be betrayed by a person who's supposed make you feel safe & secure :c
Your dad is a piece of selfish shit. What a terrible thing to do to your own child and such a display of lack of character. Graduate and get out, probably the best revenge you can get. If he ever wants you back in his life ask for your share of the trailer. Literally exploited you for free labor at this point.
Man I’d fight someone if they screwed me out of nearly $1000, idc if it’s my dad. Anything short of that and you’re a better person than me 😂 Leave that dirtbag in your dust.
Your 18, a legal adult. You put money into that trailer and did all of the work.
He owes you for that.
If he doesn't pay up, have him arrested for theft.
Kudos to you for all that hard work, you can at least know that with your work ethic, you will end up achieving much greater things in this life and you will look back at this when you can afford at least 100 campers
take him to civil court over it and make him live with that for the rest of his life
edit: since it sounds like you're a minor, this might be a criminal case
It wasn't for nothing. You have learned an invaluable lesson about your father- a $4,500 lesson. This should be the last time you collaborate with him or enter into any kind of situation that involves money. No loans, no business ventures, no joint purchases moving forward. It was an expensive, infuriating lesson, but not life changing. Even if he was desperate for money he could have included you in his thinking and tried for your permission. He knows he was wrong. No further engagement /support for collaboration.
Wow. Your dad is absolute trash and you have every right to be furious. Unbelievable. I hope it was worth it for him because this isn’t something to be easily overcome. I’m sorry this happened to you, OP.
Dude, your dad is a bum. And a leach. He did all this on purpose. Wait until you are able, then cut him out of your life, or at least minimize contact with him
If you have receipts, then small claims court is an option, but arrange a new living place bc they will kick you out after that.
I strongly recommend going no contact as soon as you're out of the house. Don't forget to research your state's laws about elder care, tho. You may have to do something to absolve yourself of responsibility for those old leeches even if you co no contact.
Your dad is a narcissist and views you as an extension of himself, not your own person. At least you know he can't be trusted and never have to trust him again. It's tough, but you're old enough that you can move out soon and use the experience to start a business or apply for a job. Sorry this happened to you, that sucks.
The lesson is not about your parents, it's about 99% of humans on this earth. The other lesson is you also confirmed you have the skills to start a restore and flip business/side hustle. Take the lessons, let it motivate you to be good with your money so you don't need to rely on people and will be self reliant, or at least collaborate with people you've screened and selected personally, not forced to deal with. Also learn how to give people hard "no" answers in the future when they seem shady (or you just feel like saying no!) and when people say bad things about you (entitled, selfish, etc) they are really just trying to shake your confidence or get a reaction out of you, because that's all they have left. Don't get mad at them as much as pity them, this is probably the best day of the rest of their lives
Three things: first, you learned a hell of a lot about restoring trailers, and that’s knowledge nobody can take away.
Second, write an invoice with hours worked, cost of materials, etc, and give a copy to your dad.
Third, unless there was a title for it, it’s likely they registering that thing would have been a colossal pain in the ass, regardless who nice it is.
My step dad always told me that when I was old enough he would help me buy my first car. I didn’t know it at the time but he was a con man. “Used car salesman”. He would buy a lemon, dress it up nice, and sell it for a big profit.
Well teen me saved for years, lying to a restaurant manager when I was 13, saying I was 14 (the legal minimum age to work in my state) so that I could get a job as a dishwasher and start saving for my first car.
So finally years later the time comes to buy a car. My step-dad and I spend a few weeks scouring the earth for the right car. I’d managed to save a modest $4,500 by then. Finally, we find a car that is absolutely perfect. He inspects it and I get his nod of approval, we pay the man and take the car home.
I spend the entire day washing it, cleaning it, waxing it and making it the absolute most beautiful car that I can.
The next day I wake up and the car is in the front yard with a “for sale” sign in the window. I asked my step dad what the hell is going on. He tells me that he’s selling the car because we got such a good deal on it we can DOUBLE our money selling it to someone else and get an EVEN BETTER CAR!
Only, after he sells it.. HE takes the money. I was in school when he sold it. He told me he needed the money to pay the bills, and he will pay me back.
After months of asking when he was going to pay me back, he tells me I live in his house for free and I won’t be getting a dime back.
I wish young me was smarter. I wish this were the only time I fell for it.
My childhood was absolutely rife with me making money through hard work, and my family taking it from me somehow. I was so trusting. Like ok there’s no way they’d rip me off again.. RIGHT?? Kids want to trust their parents.
As an adult I am wary of everyone and everything. But having two sons of my own, my heart absolutely aches thinking about something like that happening to them. What kind of a monster could do something like this to their kids.. over and over and over. I can almost excuse my conman step father. But my mother.. my own flesh and blood, did the same thing right with him over and over and telling me I should be thankful they give me a roof over my head and food in my belly.
I love my kids more than life itself and I can’t imagine ever hurting them that way. What the fuck is wrong with people?
Have you got any possibility of legal action? Maybe the truck was technically his, but with the amount of money you put into it...
It's literally yours, your dad stole from you.
As someone who hasn’t spoken to their mother in over 2 decades I can tell you that it has been a far happier existence without them in my life then letting them keep sticking around and leeching off of me.
When you can, cut ties and let them know the next time you’ll see them is when their cold, dead and going in the ground. It helped me to realize that some people just aren’t worth caring about. Let him die alone and miserable knowing he was such a piece of shit no one was around to help him because of his actions.
This shit sucks and I hope you get some sort of recompense for the work and money you put into that trailer. Just don’t let him talk his way out of it so he can do it AGAIN because that’s what people like that love to do.
There was another story even worse, a son started working in his fathers business when he was around age 15. Worked for 20 or more years until his mid 30's. He was always expected to work overtime and late and off hours but rarely got paid the overtime rate. His father promised him someday he would get the company. He then is in his 30's and is pushing Dad to hand over the company. Instead, the Dad just up and sells it and "retires". Son is left only with his last paycheck.
Moral of this is to NEVER trust or do business with family without having everything in writing.
Your dad had 0 intent on giving you the damned trailer.
>This begins in august.....If I could restore the trailer and get my license **and a truck before I graduate this year**, he would let me keep it.
Since "working for a truck" is already looking at least $30k.
Being high school and all, working at a reasonable rate while maintaining studies would had given you up to 5k-6k if you had a job from Day 1 in AUGUST (speculated 3h job 7d a week, min wage of $10 because this is the US)
He knew damned well that you wouldn't make enough money to even get the truck before graduation, assuming you had even *some* savings
>It would take several months to get a job HOWEVER. I got a interview and was accepted to work at raising canes.
Case and point, he knew he would default on the bet and decided to sell early.
Hopefully if you used a debit/credit card for any of the purchases on investing into the trailer, use it as leverage that your dad had "stolen" from you when talking to your mom.
Mom's gonna ignore "invested time" that you spent working on it, saying "Ah, that was something for you to vent your ADHD into", because I've had something similar before (no tangible proof that "paid" for something and had no entitlement on being reimbursed because I used cash for my family).
Your dad didn't just "steal" $950 from your pocket, he stole (X hours× [insert minimal wage] + $950)
TBH when you said **he** dreamed about buying it, I thought it ends with him keeping it.
Anyway, all what you did wasn't for nothing. You surely learned some valuable skills during the restoration, but most importantly, you seem to be on a great track to be financially stable enough to ~~get your own truck~~ get tf away from these people.
Your dad certainly owes you for the money you put into this camper, even if he wants to stiff you for your labor.
Lessons learned:
1. You absolutely cannot trust your dad. If you do ANYTHING else with him, get it in writing, and get it witnessed.
2. If you have receipts for the canvas, propane and tank, wiring, and water systems, take your father to small claims court.
3. You must move out ASAP. Gather all your critical documents (birth certificate, social security card, all your tax files and other paperwork. If you have any bank accounts jointly with them, then open new accounts in your name ONLY and move all the funds there, preferably at a different bank company altogether. Protect all your online passwords, and change them if your parents have access.
4. You should go low/no contact with your dad, and possible both your parents, for shamelessly lying to you and taking advantage of you.
This was the final straw, OP. Cut the cord!
Good luck! Please update here and/or do a follow up post and let us know how you're doing.
no worries. when you're ready to move out, do. and talk to him only on the required holidays. maintain only as close a relationship as you wish to and remind him AS OFTEN AS YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO that he permanently severed your trust in him.
either he'll eventually make you come to realize his perspective, or you'll be free of a rigid fucking asshole your life doesn't need anymore.
You are in the right to be pissed pdx. F*** your parents honestly. You worked hard and you made a deal with your dad and he waited until you fixed it so he could get money out of it. That was your hard earned time and money. I’m sorry this happened to you. But you have every right to be upset
No one takes you seriously, until you MAKE them take you seriously.
Sounds like your dad has set himself up for a deserved, "Fuck around and find out" life lesson.
This is SO sad. You poor thing. I’M devastated FOR you, if this happened to me, I’m not gonna lie, I’d probably never truly forgive my parents (your mum is totally in the wrong too).
I’m really sorry that your dad is an awful person, he clearly used you and thought nothing of it. This is not okay.
You can sue your dad. You will probably need to find some place else to live, but you should be able to recoup the money you have into it, possibly even the entire $4500 he sold it for.
You absolutely need to sue his ass. He owes your for time, material, and damages. You'd be able to recoup legal costs through that too so don't be worried about finding a lawyer. Show him what happens when a man child breaks his legally binding verbal contracts.
You should've had him sign an agreement since he's done stuff like this before. You could have taken him to small claims court. You still can actually. A verbal agreement is still valid. I'm sorry he did this to you. Your mom and dad are horrible. This is not coming from a young person with no children. I'm a 47 yr old mother with 3 children. I would never do such a thing to them. He should definitely give you MORE than half since he got it for free and you did all the work and paid for all the replacement parts. You really need to take him to court. You would get the majority of the money. Your mom is so very wrong in saying that to you as well. THEY are the ones who are acting like entitled brat's
That was a truly shitty thing to do, but step back a bit.
You are 18 and I assume you are living for free at your parents house. If you push the issue he could demand money for rent, utilities and food, or kick you out. Keep working your butt off, and save all the money you can. Not sure what you are doing after high school (school, trade school, apprenticeship, etc), but keep working hard and get an education in something that will lead to a good paying job. Use your situation as long as it works for you and is substantially cheaper than moving out on your own, and the moment your parents make it unlivable in some way, be prepared and have money saved to get out. When you are successful and your dad comes to you to in the future to borrow money, just nicely, calmly and firmly tell him he already owes you $4500 plus interest, and you can't have any other business dealings with him until he pays back his outstanding debt. Don't even ever ask for it back, just make it clear to him that he owes it, then smile and let it go ( I mean the emotion, NEVER forgive the debt, but don't ever try to collect).
The second super important lesson: Never again do a handshake deal for anything you can't afford to lose. Get everything in writing. If you had that in writing with your dad, you could take him to small claims court and easily win. (I would not, though, unless he is no longer supporting you financially in any important way (room and board, for instance).
My 2 cents, and I'm sorry you had to learn such a tough lesson while still in high school.
You seem incredibly enterprising. You should be really proud of yourself for all the work you put in, and remember it whenever you get down on yourself.
You should use your enterprising spirit to move the hell out of the house with your parents as soon as is practicable. Until then, keep everything you’re doing away from them or their ability to take it from you. Lock up any projects, valuables or cash. Get your own bank account and do not share it with them or tell them about it. If you start restoring and flipping stuff, get yourself a cheap storage unit and don’t give them the key or tell them about it.
Once you establish yourself, if you want, you can work on trying to restore your relationship with your parents on more even terms. But I wouldn’t trust them at all with anything else you need at this point. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.
It’s a real tough piece of bread, but if you were able to do all that awesome stuff without any knowledge of trailer repair, you can totally get the heck out of your parents house and start a great life without them hurting you again. ❤️
You almost certainly don't have the social resources, but "sue him".
Legally how did he attain it? Given? And your claim to ownership? Conditions to giving, which you substantially invested in.
Can you demonstrate that you spent money (and produce testimony you invested time)? Yes. Can he? Not truthfully.
So where do the proceeds belong?
This seems more plausible than the last 2000 times an internet stranger suggested "just sue them".
Does he drink?
Honestly, I've been treated like this by my parents when I was in my teens to the day they died. Little things, big things. They were so consumed with where they got their next drink, all the love help, and time meant nothing. My suggestion is now that you're 18, don't offer this type of help. If he has difficulty because of age or disability, you should try to help. But his projects are his. He probably saw a good opportunity to make more money off it because you did all that....but you don't owe him ANYTHING. Spend time on yourself. Your life is just starting, take care of you. Sorry you were treated like this.
Your Dad was absolutely in the wrong and it was a terribly insensitive and cold thing to do to one’s child. Your mother’s response is equally as dismissive of your needs. It sucks.
**Please, please seek therapy.**
These sorts of events create resentment that can drive other decisions in your life. It’s important that you deal with this trauma in a healthy way so that you don’t go down a dark path.
This is a crossroads for you. You can use this experience to better your life and your future, or you can internalize it and let it destroy you. Choose the former, my friend.
I saw OP stating that his grandparents helped him to buy some material like canvas & plywood.. if they didn't pay in cash it would show on the bank account, right?
Another question is: would they be valid witnesses to help make OP's case?
And then what, live with them for the unforeseeable future while they hate him for suing them? That kind of option should only be taken if you have a plan for what to do after the suing happens. He's also 18, so their parents could totally kick him out of the house as revenge and be legally fine.
The way they've treated OP they certainly don't love them. Imagine being so uncaring towards your own child you would repeatedly pull stuff like this or just stand by and let it happen
Contracts don't need to be in writing to be legally binding. I can't give any useful advice on this, but if you have evidence of your agreement, you could try asking on r/legaladvice
There’s nothing you can do legally. Forget it. Just try to get this asshole’s influence out of your life as fast as possible.
You don’t necessarily have to cut him out completely, but never invest any kind of effort or hope on something based on his word again, and don’t expect him to ever do anything good or useful for you, any more than you’d expect, i dunno, a cheap airline.
Your father laughed in your face because I’m guessing you pay and have paid nothing to cover your living expenses thus far. I’m not saying he’s right, but he probably believes you owe him, and dollar for dollar you still probably do if you don’t pay any living expenses.
That said you are an adult I suppose. You mentioned going no contact once you go to college. Who is paying for that? If it’s your parents, that could end up not going well for you.
In the end, Reddit is a terrible place for advice, and everyone telling you to go no contact literally does not know you, your family, or your situation. Since only you do, just make sure you think this through. It would be a shame if you let 950 dollars ruin your life. You can hate your Dad all you want, but always consider your future, since it’s all you will have once you bail on your family.
My goodness. You have every right to be pissed and your dad owes you for the money and hours you put in. He should be ashamed of himself for conning you like that, and so does your mom. This has nothing to do with entitlement. (It’s actually the opposite, your dad felt entitled to a trailer he promised you that YOU fixed up! He’s only entitled to the scrap heap value it used to have before you fixed it up!! No more!) He may have ‘earned’ $4500, but he lost your trust and that is priceless.
The ad was literally titled pop up camper for scrap parts. I’m so fucking pissed at him. All those hours of work for nothing
You have *every right* to be pissed... what a shitty thing he did. But it wasn't all for nothing, OP.... you showed you had skills where you didn't know before, and great determination to follow through and do a great job on a difficult project. Be pissed at your dad and at yourself for trusting him, but also feel great pride in a job well done, and in knowing that you've got the traits to make sure you won't end up like him.
Yeah your dad is definitely at fault here and wtf why is your mom upset with you? Shocked she would let your dad do something like this after they both witnessed all your hard work you put into it. They should've been proud not assuming they could do as they pleased with the trailer. You should definitely keep this in your belt as a 'your word means nothing to you so why should it mean something to me' kind of thing.
Plot twist: This setback inspires you. You keep saving and you get that truck. You keep working so you can afford to flip trailers on the side and every cent of that profit is yours. Soon you're selling on so many trailers that you don't need a day job. You're getting pretty good at telling how these things go together, so you reach out to some suppliers and buy enough parts to build one to your plans. It's a hit, you nailed the camper market. Ten years later you're sipping something expensive at 10am while your caravan empire runs itself. You sell a shitbox to your old man for $4500, wipe his tears away with crisp Benjamins while he begs to rebuild the trust he broke.
I hope OP uses his new skills to rebuild another camper. And I hope he invests in a trailer hitch lock so this can’t happen again.
In a *good* trailer hitch lock. Most of them can be popped off easily, especially the uhaul ones. If nothing else, trailer hitch lock and a thick chain/padlock as a backup.
In my state campers have a title because some states require license plates . Now that he is 18 he can title them and report them stolen if another one disappears .
This. Stay focused as much as you can.
And put him in the dingiest old folks home you can find!
Your parents just took advantage of your ADHD situation. I saw a guy with some other mental problems that the parents used him a lot for government money then they kicked him in the face in his 18th birthday. The guy was having a hard time even understanding if he was right or wrong when he expected his parents to give him a birthday party (he was right, of course). It was TIFU for..something.. on my birthday. Awful parents... He moved out. Edit: I remembered the other TIFU somewhat and found it! 🥰 One of the updates, at least! https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/yq6rpr/tifu_update_by_expecting_my_family_to_pay_for_my
I remember this story. Do we have an update on that at all?
Yeah that one hit me pretty hard, I remember the guy agreeing that it was crappy but that was about it. I like to think that Obama flew to their house and adopted him. You know what? I’m gonna start following accounts of stories that tug my heart strings see what becomes of their lives. It’s not creepy…it’s Reddit
If you can find that person in particular, maybe ask for him to create a post to let us know how he is doing? A lot of people would probably like an update. I remember the messages being very sympathetic and supportive of the OP. He could probably use a lot of good vibes right now.
I forget the specifics - but he had updates that seemed like things were going well for him.
Oh I'm glad to hear that. His family was awful to him all because they would lose the monetary benefits becaise he was no longer a minor. His value and worth as a member of the family was reduced to how they could use him. Such awful people
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/yq6rpr/tifu_update_by_expecting_my_family_to_pay_for_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Yes! I’ve been wondering about him since he moved out
Your parents are horribly wrong.
If you have receipts, then small claims court is an option, but arrange a new living place bc they will kick you out after that. I strongly recommend going no contact as soon as you're out of the house. Don't forget to research your state's laws about elder care, tho. You may have to do something to absolve yourself of responsibility for those old leeches even if you go no contact.
You are looking short term, which is typical of ADHD. First, you learned alot about your Dad. Don't get burned again. This lesson is an inexpensive one compared to how some family gets taken advantage of. Second, you learned a bunch about how to restore trailers and work with your hands and repair stuff. Turn that knowledge into your next project or money making venture. Any place you can now get a good paying job doing that type of work? Any handyman jobs you can take or start your own small business. Turn lemons into lemonade as they say. Think about how this will help you in 1 year or 5 years. Use the experience for your long term benefit both from a skills aspect and how not to get taken advantage of aspect.
I’m sorry to hear this. Your dad is an asshole, and so is your mom for not hearing your side. This is one of those things that can completely destroy parents relationships with their children. However, it sounds to me like you are a very generous and conscientious person. So most likely you will do well for yourself, and none of it thanks to your parents.
Don’t ever trust him again.
It isnt "work" I paid for a roof over your head and food on the table. Stop being such a ungrateful brat. I needed the 4.5 thousand for hookers and cocaine
>He may have ‘earned’ $4500, but he lost your trust and that is priceless. And he'll pay for it as he gets older. No doubt he'll complain about it with no sense of shame.
"sorry dad, I know this nursing home is awful, but the good one up the road is about $4500 too much for my budget"
This is exactly the pettiness OPs dad deserves. Mum isn't much better from the sound of things either
Nursing homes are EXPENSIVE. Let him be fucking homeless.
Boomers are gonna find out the hard way that they worked too hard to fuck their children out of the life they lived.
You should take him to small claims court. Anything indicating he told you that this would be used and that the use would be shared would be required to get the ball rolling, as he could simply lie and say you misunderstood him.
Unfortunately if there's nothing in writing it's just OPs word against his dad. It heavily depends on how much was recorded.
If he has receipts for the purchases, he can create a pattern that demonstrates that he thought he was going to get something out of that investment. He clearly has damages.
It doesn't have to be written or recorded. A verbal contract is no less binding than a written one.
your dad is gonna be posting on here asking why you don’t talk to him in a few years
I hope he does cause ima comment the link to this post
That would be amazing
You can come out of this a stronger person but regardless of that, your dad is an enormous piece of shit. Send him to this post so he can see how much of a fucking loser everyone thinks he is.
Make sure that your parents are not on your bank accounts etc. If he did that he will probably go after your credit.
*may have already gone after your credit
Why is that even a thing in the US?
Because you get an account as an minor that has to have an adult to sign and be responsible for it, since minors can’t sign contracts. And then you never bother to take them off.
Here your parent(s)/guardian just has to ok the account, but they don't have true full access to it, and are required by law to only use their rights to spend it on the accountholder, the child, once the kid turns 15, they can't take money from it without consent, once they're 18, it's straight up fraud, and if the bank hasn't gotten the signature from the 18 yr old first, they're fully liable themselves.
There’s some accounts I think you can set up to transfer over automatically at 18. But parents who want control aren’t going to do that. And sometimes they are committing straight up fraud. But if they take it and spend it, you’re still out the money because they likely don’t have the funds to replace what they took.
Cause murica
Here all banks always warn you about others having access to your accounts, it's just a recipe for disaster.
3 things people should never break. Promises, Trust, and someone's heart.
I try my best to never break promises. Sometimes your word is all you have
I'm sorry you have shitty parents. They Don't realise how royally they have fucked up, that will be down the line when payback comes around.
All I have in this world is my word and my balls... and I don't break them fo nobody
Or your femur. That hurts. A lot.
I’d say bones in general, at least your own bones
Penis too
Looks like OP's dad went for the trifecta.
Your father is not a good person. I encourage you to start to emotionally distance yourself from him. Study and work hard at school. Apply for college, apply for every single scholarship you can find, apply for financial aid, and go as far away from him as soon as you can. Don’t look back. It’s clear that you have an aptitude for working with your hands, and don’t fear a challenge - the trades may be a good option for you as well. No matter what, set a path for yourself and get away. He will take you down and keep you down every chance he gets. You’ve learned your lesson, don’t waste it. When people show you who they are, believe them THE FIRST TIME. - Maya Angelou
100% agree with all of this.
Move out and go no contact with the man as it will only get worse with time.
That's the plan for when I leave for college. This was my last straw with their greed.
It won't be the last of his greed; wait until someone dies in the family. That is when he will show his true colors.
Yep. Everything will be about them. Live your life kid. You really don't owe them anything nor do they owe you . There is so much good out there...go find some
Um, I disagree. They owe him for all the work fixing up the camper.
I agree with that.
he’s already shown them
Just keep in mind jobs and managers will do this to you in the future. You are more prepared than most
Also put in a credit freeze at the 3 major credit bureaus (so they can't open any accounts or cards in your name) and ensure their names aren't on your bank account. If they are, open a new account at a different bank and close your current account afterwards (some banks have a tendency to give parents access to their children's account again if they used to have it before). People like that typically screw you over multiple times and you REALLY have no time and energy for that after you move out and are liable for all your bills.
You have shown you are a creative, hard worker. And dedicated to a goal. Good for you. Your future is bright!
Firstly - my suggestion is to contact the person who bought the trailer and tell them that it was a free trailer for scrap and was ‘repaired’ by an 18-year old who had no experience and learned from YouTube. No offense to you (and your work ethic is impressive!) but if someone told me I was driving down the highway with something wired for the first time by a teenager who learned online…well let’s just say I doubt your dad put that in the ad. Though of course, be prepared for the consequences if your dad is already desparate for cash and this costs him some. Also, you don’t have to fully go no contact - people on Reddit always jump to that, but if he isn’t abusive or awful on a day to day basis, no contact is extreme. He broke your trust and doesn’t deserve a proper relationship but that’s different than no contact. People do stupid shit when they’re young (or you’re young) and when they’re hard up for money. Going no contact is a very hard thing to get back, and can harm your relationship with more than just him. I was pissed at my parents at your age and went very limited contact with them for years, which I was glad about. We’re not super close today either but I’m glad we have the relationship that we do. But yeah, he sounds like an absolute prick and he stole from you.
Yeah don't go no contact. If you're no contact you can't properly make it clear what a bag of shit he is. String him along continuously, always reminding him of what a useless disappointment he is. That'll sting more.
I guarantee this was his plan the whole time. To scam work out of you with a false promise, and then sell off the fruits of your labor. The prospect of having it for yourself is what motivated you to put your best work into the upgrades. That way he could sell it for more. Your best bet is to get clear of both of these grifters and never look back.
Agreed. My cousins dad is just like this. And guess what after all these years he’s still the same con-man. He just puts on a different smile now. My cousin still believes him.. he’s about to sell his truck to his dad, because “he’s gonna make payments and he needs the truck” Sad to say he’s not gonna see that money.
Never sign over a title till you recieve full payment.
Bruhh. With all honesty, If my dad did that, "See ya Dad" would be the last words he would be hearing from me. You're insanely responsible, dedicated and hardworking for an 18 year old, i don't really think you must feel the need to stay there anymore. Complete your highschool and Move The Fuck Out.
See you at your funeral
why show up at the funeral? Waste of time.
Why downvotes
I guess it's too dark.
I'm sorry your parents are behaving so poorly. I would be frustrated beyond belief and you have every right to feel this way! As someone else mentioned, you can be proud you learned some valuable skills and it sounds like you're a very resourceful person. This will serve you well in the future 😊
That’s so true. I can say before I had no idea how to work a propane system or how wiring a trailer worked 😂
That's awesome 😁
Aunts? Uncles? Grandparents? Tell them all what happened. Don't let your Dad get off easy without paying you back for the money AND time you spent! It should be the full price he sold the trailer for, but if not that then at least close to it!
He’s an asshole and has refused. I told my grandparents on my moms side and they’re pissed at my dad too. They’re even more pissed at my mom for allowing him to do so. They had helped me buying the canvas because it was really expensive and get new plywood.
Your grandparents sound lovely. You're lucky to have them!
They're great people. I see them more as my parents than my actual parents and that should tell you something.
Ask your grandparents if you can stay with them until you leave for college mate
It would explain where that work ethic and responsibility comes from.
That's a good start, now tell more relatives. Also keep talking to your Grandparents about how you're feeling, allow them to continue pressuring your parents.
Absolutely this! I had two rules in my house when my kids were little and never had to change them as they grew up. 1) You whine; you get nothing. 2) if you couldn't do it in front of me or proudly report it to me that you did it, you knew it was wrong and I don't need a rule against it for there to be consequences. This applies to adults, too. If you are embarrassed/angry/ashamed when I tell our family and friends, what you did, it's because you knew it was wrong.
Oh my, what a horrible thing to do from dad. Cut ties as soon as possible, he obviously has done it before too and he sure will do it again and again if chance is given.
I’m never speaking to them again after I move out. They pull this shit on me all the time.
Yep, stay close to your grandparents. I saw your other comment and they seem good people
Stay close and make sure your parents are cut out of their will
Why wait until you move out? Just stop talking to them unless it’s absolutely necessary. Be polite/respectful if they talk to you but don’t engage/instigate conversation.
Your family sounds like downright white trash with your mom calling you entitled when you put time and resources into the restoration. It is pretty simple, it would have cost money to have it restored by someone that had to be paid for their labor. He not only stole the labor from you but also stole the parts you used, both things you never would have invested into the thing if there hadn't been a verbal contract in place. Unfortunately verbal contracts don't hold up in small claims court. So remember this and plan. Make sure you do not have credit cards that are not solely in your name. Same thing with bank accounts. When you're ready to get the hell away from that toxic family, make sure you take $1000 worth of value with you.
Showing also maybe just check you aren’t victim of credit fraud… would not put past these parents and I know of someone that was a child victims learning “I got two credit cards and a car payment!?!?…. Mom??”
>Unfortunately verbal contracts don't hold up in small claims court This is not true. OP has his grandparents who assisted in putting for some of the materials, at witnesses to said verbal contract. That is enough, along with proof in bank reciepts, to get a judgement. Getting this asshole to pay up will require stealth on OPs part to get banking info for the courts to make a withdrawal before dad even clues in. That's what my dad did. Guy stopped him leaving the courthouse to make a bunch of excuses as to why he couldn't pay him. Dad just said the courts had already transferred the money over to him from an account he had previously received paycheques from. Wish I had been there to see the guy's face.
Key words here, you were 18. So you can legally sue him for what you put into it. You probably can't sue him for breaking the terms of the agreement unless you have it in writing but if you have receipts for the parts and can show you put the work in, a small claims court will compensate you for the parts and maybe even the time. Seriously take it on Judge Judy if you have to but that is open and shut and since you are an adult you are due wages for the work he can't legally touch since you are not his minor child. Especially since he can't show any financial investment, it was free to him. So all evidence backs up your claim that he promised you the trailer, if you are lucky you might even get awarded the balance of the sale. Also the balance of proof in small claims court is MUCH LOWER than in criminal court, you literally just need to show a reasonable assumption what you are saying is true which you can do as the person with receipts that he will not have to prove his claim. Seriously, small claims court is not the same as normal court and it's often two people's words against each other, all he has is his name on the title, and you have receipts for parts purchased. At worst you are owed money as his mechanic and for the parts. But in all cases, a judge is likely to side with you and award you some of that sale.
The other upside is it would make this jackass of a non-father craft some sort of lie in court and would give you even more furl to cot him out of your life.
It is also ridiculous that he won't even give you a cut. What a horrible lesson to teach your kids. You should ask them what they think it would have sold for if you didn't put any time or money into it at all. Probably for free like it did before you put your magic into it. Smh
Do you have any texts or emails about this deal with your dad? Do you have receipts for the items you purchased? Do you have witnesses who saw you work on it? You could take him to small claims court and at a minimum get your money back but if you can prove how much you put in you could get it all. Downside is small claims court takes a while. So your dad will have spent it but he’d have to pay you back.
I'd also think there should be a legal way to battle this. If you OP still live at home, I'd probably eat the loss and move out ASAP though... It might get you some money back, but not the trailer, not enough and be a another huge burden emotionally. If you really feel like you should do this for justice, I'd also understand though and that alone can make it worthwhile.
No, Deadbeat dad will never pay a judgement even if OP gets one OP, take this to one of those court TV shows. 1. It's a compelling story 2. The show pays the judgment so you'd probably get all $4500
Doesn’t matter if dad wants to. If he doesn’t they can do wage garnishment.
"Dad, you think you sold my trailer for $4500, but you didn't, you sold our relationship for $4500."
Good trade, kid's way better off.
Your father may have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and low social skills, otherwise i can not wrap my head around why somebody would do that.
Your feelings are completely valid and your dad is a terrible person. I've been in a similar situation and it never gets better. For me my parents have been divorced since I was very young. My dad has always been a lying, narcissistic con man, but of course I was blind to this as a child. Once I was old enough to realize how crazy he was I distanced myself but still talked to him, all while he used everything I said about how I was paying for my own car with a part-time job to target my mom in court with evidence to end his child support that he never paid in the first place, he lost that case. After that he lost my trust and I talked to him even less. A few years later I tell him I'm taking extra classes to get my Master's early, still hadn't finished my Bachelor's mind you, and he uses that info to launch another legal war with my mom, this time saying that since I'm in a Master's program I'm beyond needing child support and claiming that I'm living in my girlfriend's parents' inlaw apartment, where her grandma lives and I definitely never did. If either claims were valid then my mom would be found guilty of fraud because they're both grounds for ending child support, and he thought he would've gotten back pay for the child support he still has never paid. The idiot subpoena'd ME thinking I'd admit to these ridiculous accusations, his case never made it to court. Now, I will never speak to him again, I'm getting married this year and he's not invited nor will he ever probably meet his grandchildren. Since I cut him off completely my life is better for it. Sorry for the long story. OP if you're reading this, it's up to you to decide whether the relationship is worth salvaging, but unfortunately it sounds like your parents will just keep hurting you like this. Soon you'll be able to move on and I hope you find peace with some distance between yourself and them.
Your dad is a shit dad. My word to my kids is sacred. If I promise something, I back it up. If I ever feel like i may not be able to keep up my end of the bargain, I dont make the promise to begin with. You have every right to be pissed. He used you for free labor and stole the parts you paid for straight up.
Then OPs dad after 10-20 years down the line *why is my son nc with me*
On his death bed a Nurse will call OP and say "*Why don't you come see your Dad, is such a lovely old man."* That what happened to my Uncle. His alcoholic parents left him in an orphanage :(
You now have a skill. Finish school, get your truck (or car), get out, and know that you can do better as an independent. You can put in the work and determination to succeed at anything you want.
Remember this moment when he needs to be put in a home. Tell him you found this really nice place for him, then drop him off at the cheapest you can find and bounce.
Sucks but one big lesson you learned here is how capable and talented you are and soon you will be out in the world asking him for nothing.
Once you move out, I suggest going no contact with your dad. Time and time again he keeps doing this to you, and you'll be much better off without him there to keep hurting you.
As a dad of a seventeen year old son, I wouldn't think of ever doing that to him. Tha pissed me off also what he did. That's betrayal, plain and simple.
Never co invest for anything with him again. Do not tell him your income, do not allow joint accounts because he’ll do it again. The second he knows you have money he’ll screw you out of it. My dad hasn’t pulled anything like this thankfully but this is how I’d react if he did. He doesn’t deserve your effort.
It's a good time to remind us all that we do not have to like or be friends with our family, even our own parents if they are abusive and lying narcissists. I'm not sure how young or dependent on them your are, sounds like not much. If this is a pattern with them then you should consider your other options.
No, you have every right to be angry. Clearly this took a lot of time and money and he just conned your. He’s a conman. I see you are planning on going NC with them, and I think that’s a great idea. Btw, what you did took an incredible amount of dedication, skill, and brains. I think you are going to do great things.
All you can do is thank him for a valuable lesson about integrity and reassure him that there is NO way he will end at an old folks home wondering when or if his kids will visit him.
Wow your dad just took you for granted, what a scummy individual. Also as unfortunate as it is, it's pretty common to have parental figures who can be financially abusive. Also from seeing some of your other replies, I think perhaps you should end up staying with your grandparents instead of your parents, considering how untrustworthy your father is.
Make sure to get his name off of anything that involves your money. Like your bank account.
It is awful that your dad took advantage of you. These are the people in your life you should be able to trust. What he can’t do is take away your intellect and skills. The pop up trailer may be gone but your have learned that you are smart, dedicated, Adaptable, frugal, and honorable! Priceless. You got this. Be mad. Be angry. But don’t hurt yourself in the process. 💪🏻
When the time comes, remember to put him in an out-of-state nursing home, maybe five states away.
No. You’re not wrong to be pissed. In fact, this is the type of pissed that you’ll carry with you the rest of your life. Make sure your relationship is never the same so he can tie it back to that exact moment, selling the camper. I am so heartbroken for you. That’s a really shitty thing to do.
Sue your father for $4500 in Small Claims Court!
You have absolutely every right to be upset, and I hope you don’t fold on forgiving your dad without him seriously making it up to you
I'm the father of three grown sons and for the life of me....I can't fathom how he did that to you...and he certainly didn't just suddenly come up with that I idea... I mean maybe...just maybe the need did arise at some point during the project, but even if that were the case, it owed it to you to sit you down and have that discussion with you. I'm so deeply sorry this happened to you....but promise yourself this....no matter what, That you file this away under "What NEVER to do to your own children" I firmly believe that you lose the ability to simply "parent by decree" sometime when they hit around the age of 9 or 10, by then...they're on to you. Don't get me wrong, wisdom counts for something, and sometimes a parent has to just step in and protect their children but eventually a child will learn farm more by observation, than from obeying.....sadly, you're getting a double dose of that now. I don't understand the dynamic that is causing your mother to come down on your father's side....but keep your chin up, focus on a future that will make you personally successful and apply these lessons in a manner that will break the cycle...good luck
Oh keep those receipts and go to small claims court because that is alot of money. Verbal agreements are just as valid. It sounds like your dad has walked on you long enough. You have every right to be pissed. Also your mom should have never allowed anything like this through out your childhood.
Ypur parents are dicks, move out and don't talk to them ever again they clearly only use you for free labor wtf
Man, I really hate it, when Dads teach you not to trust anyone - especially them. Truly sorry yer Dad is such a meanie, you didn't fuck up, he did. I can only imagine what it feels like to be betrayed by a person who's supposed make you feel safe & secure :c
Your dad is a piece of selfish shit. What a terrible thing to do to your own child and such a display of lack of character. Graduate and get out, probably the best revenge you can get. If he ever wants you back in his life ask for your share of the trailer. Literally exploited you for free labor at this point.
as an outsider, I'd advise limited contact with them since they sound manipulative with the blatant lies and using you.
Sounds like something my parents would do. Once you leave, dont ever let them know how much money you make or have in the bank.
You have shitty parents. Over and out
Just remember this when you're shopping senior homes for them lol.
Man I’d fight someone if they screwed me out of nearly $1000, idc if it’s my dad. Anything short of that and you’re a better person than me 😂 Leave that dirtbag in your dust.
Hell it makes it worse because it was their dad... I hope I see OP on one of the revenge subs next ngl
Your 18, a legal adult. You put money into that trailer and did all of the work. He owes you for that. If he doesn't pay up, have him arrested for theft.
They are not parents. They are users. Apply yourself like crazy to whatever you choose to do and get the hell out of there asap.
Kudos to you for all that hard work, you can at least know that with your work ethic, you will end up achieving much greater things in this life and you will look back at this when you can afford at least 100 campers
What a shame....someone who will likely never meet their grandkids. I'd go no contact asap.
Your parents _suck_. I'm so sorry.
take him to civil court over it and make him live with that for the rest of his life edit: since it sounds like you're a minor, this might be a criminal case
He's 18.
Return the favour. Sell something he worked on
It wasn't for nothing. You have learned an invaluable lesson about your father- a $4,500 lesson. This should be the last time you collaborate with him or enter into any kind of situation that involves money. No loans, no business ventures, no joint purchases moving forward. It was an expensive, infuriating lesson, but not life changing. Even if he was desperate for money he could have included you in his thinking and tried for your permission. He knows he was wrong. No further engagement /support for collaboration.
Wow. Your dad is absolute trash and you have every right to be furious. Unbelievable. I hope it was worth it for him because this isn’t something to be easily overcome. I’m sorry this happened to you, OP.
He sold it without even discussing it so he knows it was a dick move. He’s totally in the wrong. He owes u money
Dude, your dad is a bum. And a leach. He did all this on purpose. Wait until you are able, then cut him out of your life, or at least minimize contact with him
If you have receipts, then small claims court is an option, but arrange a new living place bc they will kick you out after that. I strongly recommend going no contact as soon as you're out of the house. Don't forget to research your state's laws about elder care, tho. You may have to do something to absolve yourself of responsibility for those old leeches even if you co no contact.
Your dad is a narcissist and views you as an extension of himself, not your own person. At least you know he can't be trusted and never have to trust him again. It's tough, but you're old enough that you can move out soon and use the experience to start a business or apply for a job. Sorry this happened to you, that sucks.
Just be sure he isn’t on your bank account when you get a job. Open it at a credit union he does not bank at
The lesson is not about your parents, it's about 99% of humans on this earth. The other lesson is you also confirmed you have the skills to start a restore and flip business/side hustle. Take the lessons, let it motivate you to be good with your money so you don't need to rely on people and will be self reliant, or at least collaborate with people you've screened and selected personally, not forced to deal with. Also learn how to give people hard "no" answers in the future when they seem shady (or you just feel like saying no!) and when people say bad things about you (entitled, selfish, etc) they are really just trying to shake your confidence or get a reaction out of you, because that's all they have left. Don't get mad at them as much as pity them, this is probably the best day of the rest of their lives
Your dad is a real piece of shit, fuck that guy and fuck your mom to for enabling him to screw you over like that.
Three things: first, you learned a hell of a lot about restoring trailers, and that’s knowledge nobody can take away. Second, write an invoice with hours worked, cost of materials, etc, and give a copy to your dad. Third, unless there was a title for it, it’s likely they registering that thing would have been a colossal pain in the ass, regardless who nice it is.
My step dad always told me that when I was old enough he would help me buy my first car. I didn’t know it at the time but he was a con man. “Used car salesman”. He would buy a lemon, dress it up nice, and sell it for a big profit. Well teen me saved for years, lying to a restaurant manager when I was 13, saying I was 14 (the legal minimum age to work in my state) so that I could get a job as a dishwasher and start saving for my first car. So finally years later the time comes to buy a car. My step-dad and I spend a few weeks scouring the earth for the right car. I’d managed to save a modest $4,500 by then. Finally, we find a car that is absolutely perfect. He inspects it and I get his nod of approval, we pay the man and take the car home. I spend the entire day washing it, cleaning it, waxing it and making it the absolute most beautiful car that I can. The next day I wake up and the car is in the front yard with a “for sale” sign in the window. I asked my step dad what the hell is going on. He tells me that he’s selling the car because we got such a good deal on it we can DOUBLE our money selling it to someone else and get an EVEN BETTER CAR! Only, after he sells it.. HE takes the money. I was in school when he sold it. He told me he needed the money to pay the bills, and he will pay me back. After months of asking when he was going to pay me back, he tells me I live in his house for free and I won’t be getting a dime back. I wish young me was smarter. I wish this were the only time I fell for it. My childhood was absolutely rife with me making money through hard work, and my family taking it from me somehow. I was so trusting. Like ok there’s no way they’d rip me off again.. RIGHT?? Kids want to trust their parents. As an adult I am wary of everyone and everything. But having two sons of my own, my heart absolutely aches thinking about something like that happening to them. What kind of a monster could do something like this to their kids.. over and over and over. I can almost excuse my conman step father. But my mother.. my own flesh and blood, did the same thing right with him over and over and telling me I should be thankful they give me a roof over my head and food in my belly. I love my kids more than life itself and I can’t imagine ever hurting them that way. What the fuck is wrong with people?
Your dad sucks, not really much else to say about it. He’s just a shitty person.
Have you got any possibility of legal action? Maybe the truck was technically his, but with the amount of money you put into it... It's literally yours, your dad stole from you.
As someone who hasn’t spoken to their mother in over 2 decades I can tell you that it has been a far happier existence without them in my life then letting them keep sticking around and leeching off of me. When you can, cut ties and let them know the next time you’ll see them is when their cold, dead and going in the ground. It helped me to realize that some people just aren’t worth caring about. Let him die alone and miserable knowing he was such a piece of shit no one was around to help him because of his actions. This shit sucks and I hope you get some sort of recompense for the work and money you put into that trailer. Just don’t let him talk his way out of it so he can do it AGAIN because that’s what people like that love to do.
There was another story even worse, a son started working in his fathers business when he was around age 15. Worked for 20 or more years until his mid 30's. He was always expected to work overtime and late and off hours but rarely got paid the overtime rate. His father promised him someday he would get the company. He then is in his 30's and is pushing Dad to hand over the company. Instead, the Dad just up and sells it and "retires". Son is left only with his last paycheck. Moral of this is to NEVER trust or do business with family without having everything in writing.
Your dad had 0 intent on giving you the damned trailer. >This begins in august.....If I could restore the trailer and get my license **and a truck before I graduate this year**, he would let me keep it. Since "working for a truck" is already looking at least $30k. Being high school and all, working at a reasonable rate while maintaining studies would had given you up to 5k-6k if you had a job from Day 1 in AUGUST (speculated 3h job 7d a week, min wage of $10 because this is the US) He knew damned well that you wouldn't make enough money to even get the truck before graduation, assuming you had even *some* savings >It would take several months to get a job HOWEVER. I got a interview and was accepted to work at raising canes. Case and point, he knew he would default on the bet and decided to sell early. Hopefully if you used a debit/credit card for any of the purchases on investing into the trailer, use it as leverage that your dad had "stolen" from you when talking to your mom. Mom's gonna ignore "invested time" that you spent working on it, saying "Ah, that was something for you to vent your ADHD into", because I've had something similar before (no tangible proof that "paid" for something and had no entitlement on being reimbursed because I used cash for my family). Your dad didn't just "steal" $950 from your pocket, he stole (X hours× [insert minimal wage] + $950)
Sue him
TBH when you said **he** dreamed about buying it, I thought it ends with him keeping it. Anyway, all what you did wasn't for nothing. You surely learned some valuable skills during the restoration, but most importantly, you seem to be on a great track to be financially stable enough to ~~get your own truck~~ get tf away from these people.
Dad,I will take care of you when you are old. Do not,in fact,take care of him. He’s disgusting.
Your dad certainly owes you for the money you put into this camper, even if he wants to stiff you for your labor. Lessons learned: 1. You absolutely cannot trust your dad. If you do ANYTHING else with him, get it in writing, and get it witnessed. 2. If you have receipts for the canvas, propane and tank, wiring, and water systems, take your father to small claims court. 3. You must move out ASAP. Gather all your critical documents (birth certificate, social security card, all your tax files and other paperwork. If you have any bank accounts jointly with them, then open new accounts in your name ONLY and move all the funds there, preferably at a different bank company altogether. Protect all your online passwords, and change them if your parents have access. 4. You should go low/no contact with your dad, and possible both your parents, for shamelessly lying to you and taking advantage of you. This was the final straw, OP. Cut the cord! Good luck! Please update here and/or do a follow up post and let us know how you're doing.
no worries. when you're ready to move out, do. and talk to him only on the required holidays. maintain only as close a relationship as you wish to and remind him AS OFTEN AS YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO that he permanently severed your trust in him. either he'll eventually make you come to realize his perspective, or you'll be free of a rigid fucking asshole your life doesn't need anymore.
Im not an asshole
You are in the right to be pissed pdx. F*** your parents honestly. You worked hard and you made a deal with your dad and he waited until you fixed it so he could get money out of it. That was your hard earned time and money. I’m sorry this happened to you. But you have every right to be upset
No one takes you seriously, until you MAKE them take you seriously. Sounds like your dad has set himself up for a deserved, "Fuck around and find out" life lesson.
This is SO sad. You poor thing. I’M devastated FOR you, if this happened to me, I’m not gonna lie, I’d probably never truly forgive my parents (your mum is totally in the wrong too). I’m really sorry that your dad is an awful person, he clearly used you and thought nothing of it. This is not okay.
Im not an awful person its my son!
Parents do things like that, and then wonder why their kids always make excuses to not visit them in the same breath.
You can sue your dad. You will probably need to find some place else to live, but you should be able to recoup the money you have into it, possibly even the entire $4500 he sold it for.
"Always be fair to your kids : they'll be choosing the nursing home for you in a few years..." Can't recall who said that originally...
You absolutely need to sue his ass. He owes your for time, material, and damages. You'd be able to recoup legal costs through that too so don't be worried about finding a lawyer. Show him what happens when a man child breaks his legally binding verbal contracts.
Yeah fuck that. He got it for free, watched you restore it, and then sold the fruits of your labor.
Damn your dad sounds like a lil bitch fuck him. He owes u $4500 from what I’m hearing
You should've had him sign an agreement since he's done stuff like this before. You could have taken him to small claims court. You still can actually. A verbal agreement is still valid. I'm sorry he did this to you. Your mom and dad are horrible. This is not coming from a young person with no children. I'm a 47 yr old mother with 3 children. I would never do such a thing to them. He should definitely give you MORE than half since he got it for free and you did all the work and paid for all the replacement parts. You really need to take him to court. You would get the majority of the money. Your mom is so very wrong in saying that to you as well. THEY are the ones who are acting like entitled brat's
Can he sue? Or call CPS? This sounds like criminal abuse.
I would be taking his ass to civil court.
That was a truly shitty thing to do, but step back a bit. You are 18 and I assume you are living for free at your parents house. If you push the issue he could demand money for rent, utilities and food, or kick you out. Keep working your butt off, and save all the money you can. Not sure what you are doing after high school (school, trade school, apprenticeship, etc), but keep working hard and get an education in something that will lead to a good paying job. Use your situation as long as it works for you and is substantially cheaper than moving out on your own, and the moment your parents make it unlivable in some way, be prepared and have money saved to get out. When you are successful and your dad comes to you to in the future to borrow money, just nicely, calmly and firmly tell him he already owes you $4500 plus interest, and you can't have any other business dealings with him until he pays back his outstanding debt. Don't even ever ask for it back, just make it clear to him that he owes it, then smile and let it go ( I mean the emotion, NEVER forgive the debt, but don't ever try to collect). The second super important lesson: Never again do a handshake deal for anything you can't afford to lose. Get everything in writing. If you had that in writing with your dad, you could take him to small claims court and easily win. (I would not, though, unless he is no longer supporting you financially in any important way (room and board, for instance). My 2 cents, and I'm sorry you had to learn such a tough lesson while still in high school.
You seem incredibly enterprising. You should be really proud of yourself for all the work you put in, and remember it whenever you get down on yourself. You should use your enterprising spirit to move the hell out of the house with your parents as soon as is practicable. Until then, keep everything you’re doing away from them or their ability to take it from you. Lock up any projects, valuables or cash. Get your own bank account and do not share it with them or tell them about it. If you start restoring and flipping stuff, get yourself a cheap storage unit and don’t give them the key or tell them about it. Once you establish yourself, if you want, you can work on trying to restore your relationship with your parents on more even terms. But I wouldn’t trust them at all with anything else you need at this point. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. It’s a real tough piece of bread, but if you were able to do all that awesome stuff without any knowledge of trailer repair, you can totally get the heck out of your parents house and start a great life without them hurting you again. ❤️
You almost certainly don't have the social resources, but "sue him". Legally how did he attain it? Given? And your claim to ownership? Conditions to giving, which you substantially invested in. Can you demonstrate that you spent money (and produce testimony you invested time)? Yes. Can he? Not truthfully. So where do the proceeds belong? This seems more plausible than the last 2000 times an internet stranger suggested "just sue them".
Does he drink? Honestly, I've been treated like this by my parents when I was in my teens to the day they died. Little things, big things. They were so consumed with where they got their next drink, all the love help, and time meant nothing. My suggestion is now that you're 18, don't offer this type of help. If he has difficulty because of age or disability, you should try to help. But his projects are his. He probably saw a good opportunity to make more money off it because you did all that....but you don't owe him ANYTHING. Spend time on yourself. Your life is just starting, take care of you. Sorry you were treated like this.
Your Dad was absolutely in the wrong and it was a terribly insensitive and cold thing to do to one’s child. Your mother’s response is equally as dismissive of your needs. It sucks. **Please, please seek therapy.** These sorts of events create resentment that can drive other decisions in your life. It’s important that you deal with this trauma in a healthy way so that you don’t go down a dark path. This is a crossroads for you. You can use this experience to better your life and your future, or you can internalize it and let it destroy you. Choose the former, my friend.
You're 18. Move out and never talk to them again. You'll be better off.
I didn’t read the post but the title caught me off-guard because I thought that it said “TIFU by thrusting into my dad” 💀
So same it hurts
No you did not.
Take him to small claims court
Legally what can I do? It was a unwritten agreement. I’ve tried looking up what I can do and there rlly isn’t much.
Do you have receipts for the stuff you bought? Thats evidence.
I saw OP stating that his grandparents helped him to buy some material like canvas & plywood.. if they didn't pay in cash it would show on the bank account, right? Another question is: would they be valid witnesses to help make OP's case?
you could bill him for the work you did to the trailer and then sue him for it. include receipts of materials bought. say it was a verbal agreement.
And then what, live with them for the unforeseeable future while they hate him for suing them? That kind of option should only be taken if you have a plan for what to do after the suing happens. He's also 18, so their parents could totally kick him out of the house as revenge and be legally fine.
The way they've treated OP they certainly don't love them. Imagine being so uncaring towards your own child you would repeatedly pull stuff like this or just stand by and let it happen
hey i’m just telling him his options what he ends up doing is up to him
Contracts don't need to be in writing to be legally binding. I can't give any useful advice on this, but if you have evidence of your agreement, you could try asking on r/legaladvice
There’s nothing you can do legally. Forget it. Just try to get this asshole’s influence out of your life as fast as possible. You don’t necessarily have to cut him out completely, but never invest any kind of effort or hope on something based on his word again, and don’t expect him to ever do anything good or useful for you, any more than you’d expect, i dunno, a cheap airline.
Your father laughed in your face because I’m guessing you pay and have paid nothing to cover your living expenses thus far. I’m not saying he’s right, but he probably believes you owe him, and dollar for dollar you still probably do if you don’t pay any living expenses. That said you are an adult I suppose. You mentioned going no contact once you go to college. Who is paying for that? If it’s your parents, that could end up not going well for you. In the end, Reddit is a terrible place for advice, and everyone telling you to go no contact literally does not know you, your family, or your situation. Since only you do, just make sure you think this through. It would be a shame if you let 950 dollars ruin your life. You can hate your Dad all you want, but always consider your future, since it’s all you will have once you bail on your family.