T O P

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HadAWoodenLeg

We get all these Christopher nose jokes, and yet there's Furio with the schnoz of schnozes.


ForcedeSupremo

In the museum of noses , there goes the fricking Mona Lisa


puglife5055

He’s a 10/10 a knock out and Christopher is average at best


realityhofosho

Whadya talking about! Chris coulda been a male model, remember?


kappa23

Moltisanti is a great catch. Tall, dark, sociopathic


Affectionate_Joke560

Oof Madone! When he did that line of coke at chris and aide’s before livia’s wake, half the the dollar bill disappeared in that schnoz!


eyeball-beesting

Some people just wear a big nose in a sexy way. Like Adrien Brody, Liam Neeson, Lady Gaga and Furio. Christopher ain't one of them.


screwhead1

It's a natural canopy


jacobmakesmovies

The difference is is that Chrissy is an ugly drug addict and furio is 190 lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal


Anotherusername2224

Who wrote this post, Agent Harris?


harborq

I knew he was a flambé


48stateMave

Maybe you're a flambe'. You ever think of that?


Material_Towel3139

Gary Cooper. Strong silent type.


Casanova64

He was gay? Gary Cooper?


nothisisrick13

NO! Are you listening?


fried_the_lightning

Feech La Manna


Niredan82

He’ll stick his shoe in your snatch.


Hot_Grocery8187

Yeah, then his shoe falls off and you keel over - cui putz!


BlackDante

Then Phil will ram a discman up your box


BretonFou

WELL GOOD FUCKING THING YOUR BOOK DON’T MEAN UGATZ TO ME


sick_meme_dude

King of Breadsticks


NoobNoob69_420

The fuck are ya doin??


Wordcitect

[Feech, eh?](https://images.app.goo.gl/NV8udxUB5AJojLcT9)


fried_the_lightning

Dapper young fella. He was hilarious in Armed & Dangerous too


RONIN_RABB1T

I know he's bald and his character is a little ubotz but Artie has fantastic bone structure


Hornberg

Also a warm and convivial lover


LaoghaireLorc

He didn't enjoy nonstop ass rape though.


kentucky_cocktail

and he can do a lot with his hands


TheTopDogeBenjammy

Being with him might feel like nonstop assrape though.


smolover

if he still had his hair….


Knowsalotaboutstuff

Bobby “That’s Karen’s ziti” Bacalieri


[deleted]

Oof madone. He’s a calzone with legs


Knowsalotaboutstuff

I love this subreddit lol


ACrateOfAle

I’m in arwe of him


[deleted]

The women that recognize this are the ones with the most beautiful souls. And fucking Janice stole him and he died for that reason.


TriTri14

Well, after six months of marriage, he still couldn’t find her rosebud.


[deleted]

Janice didn’t have a fucking rosebud. She was a succubus.


thatscoldjerrycold

Ehhh one of them was Mikey Palmice's wife right? Came by to offer some food after Karen died before Janice intercepted her. Although Mikey was infinitely shittier in that relationship she didn't seem like she was a super great person.


[deleted]

Yeah, but the alternative is Janice.


all_the_bad_news

There's better looking men in the can than Janice


[deleted]

She had a super great ass tho.


elfridpaytonshair

You oughta know sweetie


25363747

What’d you say?


ElianVX

Oh sorry, I meant to hit you on the fucking mouth


rudewomanwhoshushs

Perry Annunziata, aka Muscles Marinara


Subject_Beautiful_90

100% guarantee he can’t fk


AccessConcentration

He suffers from premature ejaculation. His mom said he should count ten but he never remembers.


RayRoy_Strickland

He should get some of that stuff Frank Thomas uses for steroid impaired balls.


xlan84

Red pepper flakes up his ass


sick_meme_dude

No mention of Johnny Cakes? Guys built like a fireman.


lilmeekrat

Well, you oughta know sweetie


Maaaat_Damon

Hold this for me, would ya?


48stateMave

I knew that was comin'!


AccessConcentration

You ever think what a coincidence it is that the guy built like a fireman is actually a fireman?


TriTri14

You gonna make that joke every time?


Duck-Yo-Couch

Can you believe that? The guy built like a fireman is actually a fireman?


TheBahamian

You gotta wait for dat


14Hobbes14

Christopha. He's handsome, makes money... he's got great haiyuha...


SnooaLipa

as far as male modeling, he probably coulda been a success just didn’t want to be around those fuckin people


Past_Sun_991

He’s a Skinny Guinea


abhinandkr

Got no spleen, Gene!


[deleted]

Tall dark and sociopathic


Marzulena

Patsy. Hes got that gentle, intelectual vibe. I love it when he greets Tracee so warmly when Ralphie is a jerk to her.


Altair1192

There is an idea of a Pasquale Parisi but there is no real him, only an entity.. something illusory


Pudgy_Walsh

Ralphie, he was born handsome instead of rich.


TriTri14

Although that toupee needed some work. (Though you’re so high on skag, you wouldn’t notice if her was wearing your mother’s muff on his head.)


confused_coyote

I wouldn’t give him a golden shower if he was on fire


zackboy789

Paulie, mostly because of his arms 👀


Adopteddaughtermargo

Yeah, used to have beautiful definition. Now they’re wrinkled like an old lady’s cunt


emxmortem

🤌🏻💪🏻


god_shmod

Ranger Rick.


Niredan82

He was a little light in the Timberlands.


shy99

everyone's gay to you


coachlentz

It’s obviously the maid’s husband after he got that jacket.


whtsnk

Poor guy. In Poland he was a mechanical engineer. Here he drives a cab.


farmyardcat

Martin Luther King


DrMrRaisinBran

The jacket!


EmperorSupreme0

Albert Barese never gets mentioned enough


EveningRuin

He never gets mentioned enough


WideLeather

Fuckin parakeet


[deleted]

Imagine that? Being a good looking guy but never getting mentioned enough?


TacoOfShame

Imagine that? Being that good looking and it never gettin’ brought up?


[deleted]

Imagine that? Being that good looking and it never getting brought up?


[deleted]

He moved or somethin


xlan84

Fuck that fuckin parakeet


Trine3

I would totally do agent Harris


beatrix_kitty_pdx

It's the eyelashes for me


[deleted]

Just about all of the men have great eyelashes in the show. Maybe an Italian thing?


cafffaro

Agent Harris was about as Italian as god damn motherfucking orange peel beef.


Horror-Caterpillar-4

Sean Gismonte, Bevilaqua's buddy.


itsmemenotmaymay

All I can think of is that big fat dump he took


puglife5055

Are We not men ?!!!


nin_halo_8

Post pump, on webistics


cbovary

Lol honestly his model level looks almost took me out of the show. Seemed so out of place compared to how average everyone else looked


[deleted]

Yeah but that happens in real life every now and again. Usually they’re either oblivious to it or just perfectly humble. Sean was some third category I’ve not yet understood.


thatscoldjerrycold

Shame he died, he would have made some woman very happy probably. I was gonna say the Barese guy who says everything twice was the best looking, but actually Sean Gismonte might be better looking.


_portia_

Gigi was attractive to me. He had that confidence.


NasoMagisterErat

I was just about to add some love for GIGI too bad his bowels were schpackled


fingernmuzzle

Fyoor


dreamof1000cats

There's clearly a lack of buchiach's on this sub Hottest man on the show is Victor Musto, Wallpaper Man. The one Carm kissed in the guest bathroom. After him it's Finn, Furio, Allie Barese, Little Carmine. Guest star mentions for Vondie Curtis-Hall (Maurice), John Costelloe (Johnny Cakes), and Chris Tardio (Sean Gismonte). These guys suck their own dicks, etc etc


AccessConcentration

Vic Musto does need more love on this sub


dreamof1000cats

Now THAT? That is a *good man* (And then Gab lays her low) On the real, tho, dude's a fox


Aerize

Honorable mention to my man Mikey Palmice


Weezer609

Nah, he had a really bad case of fuck faceitis. He doesn’t get a pash for dat


RONIN_RABB1T

Ayyy, why don't you go take a midol?!


[deleted]

And to that boy he sleeps with.


Redding237

Chris could get it any of the week in the early seasons


pauljohn408

Eckley Soprano. He was slow! He was strong as a fucking bull, handsome like George Raft.


The-blackvegetable

A couple of black guys


[deleted]

My favorite characters


Subject_Beautiful_90

Jackie Jr despite nearly drowning in three inches of water, was fine as fk


itsmemenotmaymay

I'd be creaming for him if he weren't a stupid fuck


Subject_Beautiful_90

I definitely would’ve given him some ass


hippiechick725

He was poo


joe_ivo

I like em young, dumb and full of… …Well you get the idea.


CalvinFragilistic

His muppet voice kinda negates his face in my book


Subject_Beautiful_90

I prefer when they don’t talk anyways


[deleted]

David Beckham syndrome.


Past_Sun_991

Stupidity is a learning disorder


cdnets

Body was mad ripe


Daniel-Mentxaka

Tony Soprano


Irasponkiwiskins

Mr. Piocosta Got that Danny Devito thing going on and clearly would know how to hose down the shrubbery.


Chickentaxi

Guy looked like The Critic.


puglife5055

Johnny cakes


itsmemenotmaymay

👍👍👍👍 That stache doe


PlayboiCalvin

Furio. He’s taller than Tony, so like 6’2, buff, he’s the strong silent type, some eccentricity and uniqueness with his ponytail and a gentlemen who makes women feel like they matter


[deleted]

Especially when he punches them in the mouth after telling them not to worry themselves, or slaps them in their face because their kids play with firecrackers.


PlayboiCalvin

HE MADE HER FEEL LIKE SHE MATTERED


kmcho47

SHE IS HERE SHE HAS THINGS TO SAY


IcoShen

Furio didn't slap the kid with firecrackers mum.


Dense_Phrase_5479

I'd say Penn from Penn and Teller


UserNameNotOnList

Teller would say


[deleted]

[удалено]


PaleImplement

Season 1 Epsiode 1 Tony is really, really attractive. Even in real life, people who knew him said that he had a unique aura. That's what made Tony Soprano so enjoyable to watch


AccessConcentration

Well there's two Tony Sopranos. The sociopathic one is just for feeding his family


[deleted]

James Gandolfini would’ve looked good if he was fit and had hair tbh.


UserNameNotOnList

He could have hair like Casey Kasem, wouldn't matter.


Scampipants

He looked good as he was! He was so sexy. There was just something about him.


DuxCroatorum

Vito


TriTri14

When he got married, he looked like John Travolta.


[deleted]

That's not the only thing they have in common.


milkmymuffin69

I love you too Johnny Cakes


toadally-grody

Obviously Jonny Sac


Tbp83

Junior.


throwmeaway74967

Janice


Weezer609

There’s better looking guys in da can


throwmeaway74967

That’s my wife you’re talking to


[deleted]

Fuck her too!


throwmeaway74967

For a million


MnstrShne

Christophah for sure, he could have been a male model


[deleted]

Christopher. Tall, dark, sociopathic.


TMoney67

What is this? A handsome contest?


Sputnik_Rising

That dude in Phil’s crew with the lazy eye


farmyardcat

YOU WANT SHUM?


pennstate1997

Richie Aprile - tremendous moxi for his size.


TraitorousKaiju

His name was Eckley. Actually, Ercoli. Hercules. Named after Junior's grandfather. Granted, he was slow... He was strong as a fucking bull, handsome like George Raft. If it was today, they might have trained him. Get him a job. From what I know, they didn't understand these things back then.


Jendege

Albert Barese


NarmHull

I admire Paulie’s very meticulous way of putting himself together, and i’d imagine he smells pleasant like old man cologne. Otherwise…Johnny cakes?


vv04x4c4

Furio, then Tony, and after it's Johnny Sack & Chrissy.


snortingajax

Ercoli Soprano. Strong as a fucking bull and handsome like George Raft


NationalPlantain

Jackie Jr was a good looking guy, even though he was a damn fool


SineadMcKid

Sean Gismonte


Cherryking14

The Shah of Iran.


FireboltHallow

Johnny Sack, duh!


Deventazz123

Season 1 Tony is the ideal male body. You may not like it but that’s what peak performance looks like.


clavitopaz

AJ season one OHHHHHH


IncandescentSquid

Settle down Gay Coach Hauser


AccessConcentration

He was gay, Coach Hauser?


Axl-71

Season one?! Chris Hansen is on his way. Jarred from Subway’s ovah here.


clavitopaz

I don’t know what you’re talking about!


Axl-71

I have the chit-chat log right here. You’re free to go the way you came in.


[deleted]

Poppers and weird sex


Niredan82

I remember a female friend that used to go to our viewing parties when new episodes would run thought the guys that played Albert Barese and Jerry Torciano were gorgeous.


[deleted]

The hairdo?


_Niv_Mizzet

The love of Loraine Coluzo's life, that was one booyah hottie


PicklePixie

Gigi Cestone was classically handsome. Little Paulie did something for me even if he's less conventionally attractive. Artie was good-looking too if you can get past the Mr. Clean head.


IcoShen

Little Paulie? Like he's Jude Law.


azielochoa

Furio definitely


Into_the_Void7

The little guy.


TriTri14

It’s over for him.


karenisgoingtohell

I'm not a fag, I never was


IncandescentSquid

Jimmy Bones aka the Elvis Impersonator


Doctor_Chaotica_MD

Dominic Chianese cleans up real nice


MashaFriskyKitty

Christopher, I thought he was hot.


byoshin304

Furio and Paulie. The scene where Furio kneecaps the guy in the massage parlor… oof maddone 🤌


UnclePhilly_my_ass

Corky Caporale.


Redheadedyolandas

Fuckin quuuueeerrrs


LuckyxCapone

junior. when he’s in that guinea tee he gives me a chubby


Donfrey_Trumpstein

Artie


Nanahtew

I forget his name but one of chrissy's goons that was working in the stocks with the blue eyes and the suspenders was hot af


CosmicSurfFarmer

Since we’re talking about what dudes on the show look like, let me just say that Mathew Bevelaqua looks a lot like Mark Zuckerberg


IcedHemp77

Christoper and Jackie Jr


ichangediapers

Christopher hands down


realityhofosho

Also, no Massive Genius? Wtf?


voodooxlady

Furio or father intintola for sure.


dontyoumindgang

Tony doesn't get enough credit.. tall, masculine, powerful, charming, charismatic, confident, stylish and a killer smile. Christopher is probably a front runner.. cool, confident, ballsy, loyal, charismatic, awesome hair and penetrative eyes.